Limerence (2017) - full transcript

[light piano music]

[birds chirping]

Hello?

[stumbling] Oh!

Oh.

Is, um, is Leo Kaplan here?

Oh, oh. [chuckles]

Sorry. I think
I'm in the wrong house.

Rosemary?!

Oh, my God! Hi!

Emma! Wow,
you look so different.



It's Bliss.

Come on. I'll show you inside.

[man humming]

Great.

[mystic chant]

Is, um, is Leo here?

He's working
but I'll show you to his room.

[Rosemary] Oh, good.

Thank you so much, Emma.

Bliss.
-Sat Nam.

Oh!
-This is my boyfriend, Shamrock.

Rosemary went
to high school with me and Leo.

It's, um,
nice to meet you. [chuckles]

We've met before.



Oh, no. I just moved
here actually, it's--

We've met before.
-[Rosemary chuckles nervously]

[man humming in the distance]

I have to go to the bathroom.

[sighs]

[man clucking]

[chuckling]

Jesus.

[exhales]

["Another Day"
by Lia Richardson]

♪ Doo, da, doo-doo, da

♪ Doo-doo, da, doo, doo, da
Doo-doo, da, doo, doo, da ♪

♪ Doo-doo, da, doo, doo, da
Doo-doo, da, doo, doo, da ♪

♪ Doo-doo, da, doo, doo, da
Doo-doo, da, doo, doo, da ♪

♪ Doo-doo, da
Just another day ♪

♪ Da, doo, doo, da

♪ Doo-doo, da
Just another way ♪

♪ Doo, da, doo-doo, da,
doo-doo, da ♪

♪ Just another song

♪ Da, doo, doo, da
Doo-doo, da ♪

♪ Trying to get along Doo, da, doo-doo, da, doo-doo ♪

♪ Got myself from you

♪ Free from all

♪ Hiding all the way

♪ It's not your call

♪ Leave it up to me

♪ I'm far away

♪ For after all
It's just another day ♪

♪ Doo, da, doo-doo, da

♪ Doo-doo, da, doo, doo, da
Doo-doo, da, doo, doo, da ♪

♪ Doo-doo, da, doo, doo, da
Doo-doo, da, doo, doo, da ♪

♪ Doo-doo, da, doo, doo, da
Doo-doo, da, doo, doo, da ♪

♪ Doo doo

♪ Just another day

♪ Doo, da, doo-doo, da

♪ Doo-doo, da, doo, doo, da

♪ Just another way

♪ Doo, da, doo-doo, da

♪ Just another song

♪ Da, doo, doo, da

♪ Doo-doo, da

♪ Trying to get along

♪ Da, doo, doo, da, doo-doo

♪ I got myself from you
Free from all ♪

♪ Hiding all the way

♪ It's not your call

♪ Leave it up to me

♪ I'm far away

♪ For after all
It's just another day ♪

♪ Just another day

♪ Hoo-hoo

♪ Just another way

♪ Hmm-hmm

♪ Just another song

♪ Hoo-hoo

♪ Trying to get along

♪ Hmm-hmm

♪ I got myself from you
Free from all ♪

♪ Hiding all the way
It's not your call ♪

♪ Leave it up to me

♪ I'm far away

♪ For after all
It's just another day ♪

♪ Just another day

♪ Da, doo-doo, da

♪ Doo-doo, da

♪ Just another way

♪ Yeah, yeah

♪ Just another day

[Rosemary] Hey, man, I'm back at
your house. Where are you?

This is-- you better be
on your way back here.

Oh, excuse me.

Hi.

Is Leo here?
-Sorry, love?

Leo, is he--

[Shamrock] Oh, Monkey King.

Pintu, have you seen
Monkey King?

Honeybee.

Right. What, what is that?

Ayahuasca.

[grunts]
That smells... terrible.

[chuckles]

No, thank you. No, thank you.

You'll love it.

I have to go to the bathroom.

That girl has to pee a lot.

[exhales]

[sighs]

These idiots don't believe
in tequila,

but I do!
-Leo! Yes!

Oh, thank God!

You're so late!
-I know. I'm sorry.

Oh, my God! You look like you're
in the tenth grade.

No, I don't.
Give me the tequila.
-Sorry I'm late.

Alright, I want to hear
everything.

Tell me everything.

Well, I don't know.

Just running around
the city, you know.

Just doing it.
-Yeah?

Can't really complain.
It's what I signed up for, so.

What is it you do?

I'm in pharmaceuticals.

Oh, so you're a pharmacist.

It's kind of hard to explain.
-So, you're not a pharmacist.

Well, I don't know,
when you think about it

I'm not that different
from a pharmacist.

You sound like a drug dealer.
-No.

Well, yeah, kinda.

Um, no. I, uh,

I work at the Vitamin Shop.

Can I ask you something?

Of course.

Why are you wearing a suit?
-[laughs]

I am working
a Bar Mitzvah tonight.

You're handing out echinacea
to 13 year-olds?

No.
-[laughs]

I'm actually the most
requested Bar Mitzvah emcee

on the west side.

Seriously? [laughs]
-True story.

You should come with me.

To the Bar Mitzvah?
-Yeah.

No, I mean, really?

[woman chanting]

[all chanting]

Yeah.
-Is... is that?

[light rock music]

[revving]

[crowd chattering]

Oh, my God, wow.

Yeah.

[girl] Oh, my God,
look at her dress!

[laughing]

Explain to me why you're
wearing that dress again.
-It's vintage!

Where's the bathroom?
-It's over there.

Hey, will you sneak some drinks

on your way back?
-Sure.

Oh, and if anyone asks,

just tell them
you're with the DJ.

You've been waiting
to say that, haven't you?

Yes, I have.

[slapping]
-Ooh!

[toilet flushing]

[door opening]

Oh, sorry.

Excuse me.
-We were late, so.

Oh.

That's a cute dress.

I feel like my sister
wore the same exact one

to her eight grade dance.

[chuckles]

It is vintage but
I kind of doubt it.

Uh.

Sorry, you have your period.

Oh, fuck!

[screaming]
Alright, party people!

Now, I want to get this party
started, old school style.

So, I want all you lovely ladies

to get out here
on the dance floor.

And welcome my boy,
the Bar Mitzvah man of the hour,

Jazzy J Finkel!

[cheering]

["Become a Man"
by Lia Richardson]

♪ Oh, oh, oh

♪ Ho-oh

♪ Oh, oh, oh

♪ Ho-oh

♪ Oh, oh, oh

♪ Ho-oh

♪ Oh, oh, oh

♪ Okay, here we go now, what

♪ Become a man, become a man

♪ Become a man

♪ Become a man, become a man

♪ Become a man

♪ Become a man, become a man

♪ Become a man

♪ Become a man, become a man

♪ Become a man

♪ Celebrate today
In your own way ♪

♪ 'Cause you're a man now

♪ And you know just
What to say ♪

♪ Who's the lead role
In the main scene ♪

♪ It's a lean mean fighting
13 year-old machine ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah

♪ Become a man, become a man

♪ Become a man

♪ Become a man, become a man

♪ Become a man

♪ Become a man, become a man

♪ Become a man

♪ Become a man, become a man

♪ Become a man

♪ Yeah

Ooh! Sorry.
-Sorry.

Oh, my God! It's you!

I know you.

[chuckles] You can calm down.

We didn't sleep together
or anything.

[laughs] I think
I would know if we did.

[chuckles] Okay.

Hold on, hold on.

We did sleep together,
didn't we?

I'm so not telling you.

There you go. Enjoy.
Okay, who's next?

Oh, hi! Um, hi,
can I get a, um, sorry,

can I get a vodka tonic,

cranberry tonic thingy?

Oh, okay, nice try.

Oh, um, a wine?

[laughing] There's always one.

There's always one jokester.

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God, no.

That's really funny.

I'm actually
not one of the kids.

No offense.

Uh, I'm a grown up.

Okay, well if you're a grown up,

I need to see some grown up I.D.

Uh, fuck.

I totally left it at home.
-That's fun.

A purse didn't really
go with this dress

and I came on a Vespa.

Oh, I came on a cloud.

So, we all come from places.

I'm with the D.J.!

[boy] Want to dance?
-Is that the D.J.?

You know what?
It's okay. She's with me.

She's legal. Barely.
-Ew.

I didn't need you to do that.

I just saved you from a night
of awkward teen romance.

Generally, people say thank you.

Oh, um...

Thank you.

Look, hold on, hold on.
Whoa, whoa.

Hold on, so, you're not
going to tell me how we met?

I was sketching you
this morning?

Where, in my bed?

You wish.
-[chuckles]

Were you stalking me?
-May's Cakery?

Oh, you're serious.
-Mm-hmm. Mm.

You were a little busy.
-Mm.

So, you can be honest.
Did you just crash this thing
just so you could meet me?

[imitates] You can be honest.
Did you just crash this thing

so you can pick up
underage girls?
-Do I talk like that?

I've lost my wife.
Have you seen her?

I have not. Now, Donald,

this is--
-Hi, I'm Rosemary.

Hi, nice to meet you.
I like the pink hair.

Thank you.
I'm a natural pinkhead.
-Really?

Don't you dare ask if
the carpet matches the drapes.

Oh, you're sassy.
Hey, she's sassy.

I can see that.

Your wife might agree.

So seriously, what are you
two assholes doing here?

[Tom] No, no.
He's the only asshole here.

What?
-No, no, we grew up
with Rebecca.

That-- your dance partner's mom.

Please, let's not make
a big deal out of it.
-[all chattering]

Hey, I've been texting you.
Can I have your jacket, please?

Hey, uh, yeah.
-Thank you.

Oh, babe. This is, um...

Hi, I'm May.
-Rosemary.

This next one is an oldie
but a goodie,

so find that special someone

and let them know
what they mean to you.

Dance with me, old man.

Old man?

["Celebration" by Spider]

[chuckling]

♪ It's a rest for a broken day

♪ But believe me, darling
Believe me ♪

♪ I'm on time

♪ Understand it, darling
Understand it ♪

♪ You hold me up

♪ You hold me up

[Donald] What did you think
of that girl, Rosemary?

[May] Mm...

She's a little bit
of a strange choice
for Tom, don't you think?

[Donald] Seems kind of spunky.

Spunky?

Oh, you cannot wait
for him to call you tomorrow

and tell you about the blow jobs
that he's getting tonight.

Blow jobs?

Like, plural?

[laughs]
No, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

Look, I have
the greatest wife in the world.

If you think you'd be happier
getting blow jobs from
random girls then...

This is not about blow jobs.
Nobody's getting any blow jobs.

Certainly not after this.

You're attracted to her.

I'm married.

I think...
-I'm not going to tell you

what to do.
-...we should go to my place.

Oh. Do you, now?

Madame.
-Oh, hold on, hold on, hold on.

[laughing]

Madame, your chariot awaits.

Mm-mm.

What is that?

A present.

What did you do?

Why do you always
expect the worst?

I don't.

It's a thermometer.

So we'll know
when we're ovulating.

Plus, you can sync it
to your phone.

Sync it to your own phone.

Hey, the whole point
of moving here

was so we could start trying.
-[sighs]

Aw, come on.

I don't want to use that thing.

Let's just let it
happen naturally,

and if it happens, it happens.

Okay?

You know, you are
actually kind of hot

when you don't try so hard.

Actually, kind of?

Mm-hmm.

Hey.

Try not to fall in love with me.

[groovy rock music]

[moaning]

[sports playing on the tv]

[loud moans]

[breathing heavily]

Fuck!

Yes!

Yes.

That was awesome.

Oh!

[exhaling] Oh, that was...

That was incredible.
-[loudly sighs]

I really need to go
to more Bar Mitzvahs.

[laughing]

Just doing my part
for the Jewish community.

[chuckles]

Can I?

Huh.

You know... I thought
this place was going to be

much douche-ier
but it's kind of nice.

[laughing]

Uh, thanks?

Mm-hmm.

Um, I'm, uh...

I'm going to go.

Oh.

I guess you're going
to miss my pancakes.

Seriously?

Save the pancake mix
for another girl.

That's fucked up.

I'd never use a mix.

[laughing]

What's your name, anyway?

[grumpily laughs]

You don't know my name?

[chuckles]

[chuckling] Goodbye.

Goodbye.

[gentle music]

Hey, I can't do this anymore.

Come on, slowpoke.

Ah! I have a,
I have a crick in my neck

from your stupid couch.

What? I have the most
comfortable couch on the planet.

No, you don't.

Seriously,
why don't you have a bed

like a normal person?
-Yuck.

Well, my last girlfriend
helped me go couch shopping

when I moved into my old place.
-Uh-huh.

And every one I liked she kept
telling me I couldn't afford.

So, finally I was like,
"It's not your money

or your couch, so stop
telling me what I can't afford."

And she goes, "Um, well,
when we get married,

I'm going to have a say in
what we can and can't afford."

And I was like, "What?

Married?"

And then we got into
this huge fight

right in the middle
of Living Spaces.

What happened to her?

I dumped her.

She was saying
the M-word like two months

after we started dating.
Plus I knew she wasn't the one

'cause every time we had sex
I'd hear this little voice

in my head saying,
"This is not your wife.

This is not your wife.
It's someone else's wife."

It was creepy.

[lighter clicking]

What are you doing?

It's California, weirdo.

So, you came home
really late last night.

And?

I don't know,
I'm just saying. That was fast.

Yeah, that was
kind of the point.

You got to sleep with them
as quickly as possible

before they do something
that completely ruins it

and you're not attracted
to them anymore.

Good plan.

God, I wish I was a girl.

[light music]

Hi.

Uh, I'm here to see
Jack Feldman.

Great.

You going to tell him I'm here?

Do you want me to?

You know they arrived damaged?

This is the second time
this has happened.

[over the phone] Really?
-Yes, really.

I'm sorry.
-Are you?

Okay, you know something?
I can't talk about
this right now.

I have somebody here.
But I'm going to talk
to you later today.

[Jack] Ok.

So, did you bring a resume?

Oh, uh. Well, I, uh,

I actually brought you
some sketches and, um,

some photographs
of, uh, of my paintings.

So...

[chuckles] We haven't even
hired you and you're
hitting me up for favors?

[stammers] Okay, so I've been
working on this series, right?

Where, um,
I take something really small

and I blow it up into these,
like, large scale, um--

Well, to be honest
by the time it gets that big

it's hard to tell
what it is anymore.

Okay. Look, as long as
you can keep it straight

that when you're here,
you're working for me

and you're taking care
of my artists first.

Oh, and I need you on weekends.

Especially when we get
close to the show.

What, you have
a problem with that?

You don't remember me.

We actually met.

In Brooklyn. At my show.

You told me to call you.

What, you just showed up?

Sorry.
-No.

No, I like that.

Oh. Great.

Do you want the job or what?

[light music]

If you're reconsidering
my pancakes

I only make them at home.

[both laughing]

What? Sorry, what?
I can't even talk.

You seem tongue tied.

What are you doing here?
-What are you doing here?

What am I--
-Are you following me?

I'm not following you.
I'm going to work. I was going--

You work here?
-Well, I did follow
you actually.

I was checking you out.

I do, yeah. It's my gallery.

It's your gallery?
-It's my gallery.

Really?
-Yup, really.

So, I guess you know
that I work here.

Yeah, right here.
-For these right here?

Uh huh.
-Oh, good.
Oh, good, you're here.

I see you've met Tom.

Tom, yeah.

We just met outside.
-Huh.

This is Annabelle.
-I'm Annabelle.

Nice to meet you. Again.

Oh, I thought
you looked familiar.

I met you at that rave
with Starfish, right?

Rave, huh?

You must be pretty young.

Younger than you.
And I don't go to raves.

Then how do you know Starfish?

What about Bar Mitzvahs?
Do you go to those?

Come with me, Pinky.

I need your artistic opinion.

So, uh, Brooklyn, right?

Oh, yeah.
-Yeah, yeah,

it's coming back to me.
-It's back?

No, it's coming back.
-Oh. Um, I didn't...

I didn't have the pink hair.

Okay.

So, what's going on
with you and Tom?

Do you know him?

[nervous laugh] Uh, why?

I don't know, just wondering.

Okay. Well...

bring those paintings out here.

Let's take a look at them.
-Okay.

Come on.
-Thank you.

I don't want to tell you
how to do your job,

but you might want to consider

hanging some paintings
on the wall.

Clearly you're not
versed in the art

of reductive design.

You always this full of shit?

Pretty much. Yeah.
-[chuckles]

So, uh, are you going to
tell me why you're here

or am I supposed to guess?

Jack saw my paintings
in Brooklyn.

You really are an artist.
-A painter.

Please don't--
-[makes playful noise]

Wow.

These are actually kind of good.

No, seriously. I'd, uh,
I'd love to see more.

I don't show my work
to people who've been inside me.

[chuckles] Good policy.

See you later.

[phone ringing]

[chewing noise]

Jesus Christ!

[Tom] I'm sorry, did I--
-Get the fuck out of here,

sexual harassment Ghandi.

I don't want that.
Get out of here!

[Tom] Um, are you talking to me?

No, sorry. Ugh.

Who is this?

It's Tom.

From the gallery.

Oh. [chuckles] Hi.

So, look, I'm sorry
to call you so late.

And it's not what you think,
so before you answer,

just know that I've called
five other girls

and no one's around--

So, I'm number six?
-Um...

A strong six,[laughs] yeah.

Uh huh.
-Look, I was wondering

if you could come over,
um, because--

Wow. [chuckles]
-No, no, no, no, no.
It's not like that.

I just, I have a, a concussion,

and I'm not supposed
to go to sleep.

Uh-huh.
-Look, I do actually need
someone to keep me awake.

So, if there's any way
you could do it,

I would really,
I would really appreciate it.

[chuckles]

You better have a concussion.

[Rosemary laughs] So then,
I'm in the bathroom.

Are you listening?
-Mm-hmm.

And he's like, he's like
making these dolphin noises,

and apparently, like, this is
a huge turn on for these girls.

It's like, panties
dropping left and right,

and Emma's apparently
okay with it

because they're polyamorous.
Of course.

I didn't realize
that dolphins were polyamorous.

No, not the dolphins.
The people.

Oh, oh, right.
-Duh. [laughs]

Well, it is Venice.

Yeah.

I just miss New York.

[grumps]
-No, no, no.

No getting up.
-Oh, come on.

You're a very bad patient.
-Am I, really?

Yeah, you are.
-Am I?

Don't-- Hey, I'm serious.
[chuckles]

[lips smacking]
-I am serious.

If we do that...
-What?

...you will fall asleep
right after.

What if I fall asleep
during? [soft laugh]

That's happened to me, you know?

No.
-I swear.

We'd, like, smoked
a bunch of pot,
and he was going down on me,

and it was getting, like,
softer and slower,

which was sort of,
it was kind of nice, actually.

And then, [chuckles]
all of a sudden, it stops.

And I looked down
and he was just, like, asleep

on my inner thigh.
-No, you're kidding.

I swear to God.

What did you do?

I, like, nudged him. [laughs]
-[laughs]

And then, he, like,
picks right back up,

right where he left off.

Wow. Good for him.

And then we was like,
snoring about two minutes later.

I assume you left.

No, I just, uh, brought coffee
every time I hung out with him.

You're a lady with a plan,
aren't you?

[chuckles]

[laughing]
-Okay.

Now you go.

Oh, what do you mean?

It's your turn.

What is this, like a game?

No, it's just a way
to keep you awake.

No, no, no. I don't like this.

Too bad.

What am I supposed to,
to tell you sexual stories?

No, just something honest.

Honest?
-Mm-hmm.

Oh, fuck.

Okay.

[grunts] Okay.

You want honest?

Mm-hmm.
-Okay.

I'll give you honest.

Um...

I... kissed
my friend's wife once.

Wow.

Before she was his wife.

It was New Year's Eve
and we'd been drinking all day,

and he passed out
way before midnight.

And the next thing you know

the countdown was happening,

and she was looking
at me or, uh,

it was a weird vibe, you know.

But I wasn't sure if it was real

or if I was just imagining it,
you know?

Mm-hmm.

And then, um...

the ball dropped.

And... she kissed me, and, uh...

and I kind of kissed her back.

Did you like it?

Oh, my God.
You're fucking killing me.

[chuckles] Did you?
-No, no.

I mean, yeah.

I guess on some level
I must have, right? I mean, in,

in a completely fucked up way.

I just wish I never did it.

Hey.

We all kiss the wrong person
once in a while.

[phone alarm]

Mm.
-[laughing]

You did it.

I'm still awake.

Mm.
-Success.

I like talking to you.

[light music]

[light electronic playing
music on headphones]

♪ Sometimes on my way
To pick up ♪

♪ I tell myself

♪ That I won't get dizzy

♪ In too deep

♪ I tell myself

♪ I can always stick on you

Oh, God, Jesus!

Christ, you scared me!
-Don't worry, love.

I'm color blind.
-I don't know what it means.

Do you want something?
I'm kind of in
the middle of this.

Take your time.

Okay, you can't
stand right there.

Please, go back to--
-I get it.

I totally get it.
It's all new to you.

The connection is palpable.
-What? [muffled yelps]

Get the fuck off of...

[Rosemary yelps]

What are you doing?
-What are you doing?

Me?! Why are you looking at me?

Babe, we agreed to connect
when a connection exists.

Not with people I know.

Especially with people you know.

This is what
we talked about with Honeybee!

Okay.

It's been grand.

[door knocks]

"We Can't Stop Now"
by Abbot Kinney]

♪ I lost my way
In trying to get back home ♪

♪ It was the biggest collapse
Since the fall of Rome ♪

♪ If you take me
Where you're going ♪

♪ We can go all night

♪ I've seen things about me
Better left unknown ♪

♪ And every time I look
In your eyes I turn to stone ♪

♪ This place we are going

♪ We can't go alone

♪ Ooh, if I fall

♪ From the heights

♪ Don't be swayed

♪ There's a light

♪ Just not that we can see

♪ Ooh-ooh

♪ Ooh-ooh

♪ This might just sound insane

♪ But it won't take
A car or plane ♪

♪ Or a hand
Reaching down from above ♪

♪ We'll never be the same

♪ When we're eating off
A silver plate ♪

♪ But maybe we'll find
A life worth dreaming of ♪

♪ Oh

♪ Take me away
Let's run as fast as we can ♪

♪ There's nothing we can say
To make them understand ♪

♪ It's too late to turn back

♪ We can't stop now

♪ Ooh-ooh, hey

♪ Ooh-ooh, hey, ooh-ooh

♪ Ooh-ooh

♪ Hey

[Tom exhales]

Mm.
-[lips smacking]

Good morning.
-Morning.

Does that make you laugh?
-[laughing]

That's good.

Can we, uh... get a little
morning exercise in?

[chuckles]

I'll meet you in the shower.

Oh... really?

Mm.
-Quickly?

Mm.
-Okay.

I'll be waiting.
-[chuckles]

Ah, I see someone
decided to wake up.

I was up all night
making you a painting.

Hmm. Where is it?

It's not finished yet.
It's a present.

For what?

For letting me stay here.

You're--

A present?
You needed a place to stay.

I did.

I would like to see it.

You will.

Why don't you come back to bed?

[chuckles]

[light music]

[knocking]

[stammers] Fuck, get-- what?

You scared me!

You're such a...

You scared me!
-[laughing]

You really scared me.
What are you doing here?

It's like
a thousand degrees out there.

Whoa. What am Idoing here?

What are youdoing here?
-Don't start with me.

This is the only
place I can paint.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
You're going to love this.

Are you ready for this?
Are you ready?

Okay, Emma and that really
hot girl, Honeybee.

Well, they are going up to
a retreat up north this weekend

and you are going with me
to help me hook up with her.

Oh, yeah, you are.
No, she want's my nuts.

No, no. And, no,

we can't, we have plans
with his friends this weekend.

You have plans
with his friends this weekend?

Okay, whoa, this is, like,
really serious.

No, it's not, it's-- he's--

He's, he's what?

Like a casual, part-time lover?

Gross, you're so-- don't,

don't say lover.
And put that down.

These are nice.

He's, um...

He's um...

My peeps.

[both laughing]

Your peeps!

Can you just be like a normal
person and say boyfriend?

Whoa. It is way too soon
for that, dude.

You're practically living
with the guy.

I'm not living with him.

Well, you're not living with me.

Your suitcase is, but--
-I'm living with him.

I'm not like, "Living with him"
living with him, so.

Oh, shit.
It's her, it's Honeybee.

She just sent me
an emoji of an octopus

and a winky face.

[gasping] Oh, my God, that
means I could totally get laid.

You have got to go.

No.

Hey.
-Oh, hi.

Hey.
-Hey.

Uh. Hey.

[Tom chuckling]
-This is, um--

You must be Rosemary's peeps.
-[Rosemary chuckles]

That's me.
-Leo.

Peeping Tom, yeah.
-[laughing] That was a good one.

Uh, Leo. Just Leo. You know,

or D.J. Leo.

Most requested emcee
on the west side.

[chuckles] Right. With the
Bar Mitzvah, you were great.

Oh, thanks, man.
Yeah, it's, uh--

you know, spinning is just,
like, so creatively fulfilling.

You know, it's like, I wish
I could do it every day but,

you know, got to
pay the bills, so.

Yeah.
-Sure is.

Oh, my God!

You guys should totally
come with us this weekend!

No, we're-- I already told him.
-Where you going?

We can't, we can't go.
-Where you going?

A bunch of us are going up to,
um, this retreat up north.

There's like,
white sulfur springs,

there's cabins, ladies.
-I mean, sounds cool to me.

I could-- I'd have to call
May and Donald and see--

I mean, what's the deal,
can you--

Oh, my God. Bring them.

[Leo] Yes!
-[Tom] Yeah?

I think it sounds cool.

Oh! Oh, my gosh!

Ah!
-Right.

This is going to be fun, man.
-Yeah.

Alright!
-Alright.

He's a keeper.
-[table clatters]

Oh.
-[Tom] Watch out for the step.

Thank you for the invite.
-Fancy.

[Leo] Sorry to run.
-It'll be fun. Good to meet you,

uh, officially.
-Yeah, I just have shit to do,

so, I'm going to--
-Bye.

Yeah, yeah. You kids behave.

[light music]

Tom says they're running
a little late.

Of course they are.

Hey, I hope you're hungry.

What are you doing?
Why aren't you ready?

I'm ready.
-You're not ready.

Your stuff's
all over the place.
-I'm very ready.

You're not-- look, I'm serious,
these guys are waiting for us.

[Rosemary] Aw.

Where are we even going again?

I've never even heard
of this place.

Seriously, Ro.

You got to get dressed.

I'm not doing this.

[laughing]
-I'm not doing this.

I'm not falling for it.
-You're not? Are you sure?

I think you're
going to do it.
-No, those guys--

Oh, my God, okay.

This is not... fair.

Mm.

Okay, alright,
you're right, fine.

I'll go get dressed.
-No, no, no, no, no.

No, no, no. I don't want to
thwart your, your impulses.

That would be...
-Oh.

...bad for your art.
-Mm-hmm.

[lips smacking]

This is why I hate carpooling.
Where are they?

Oh, I'm sure
they're on their way.

[honking]

See?

Hey, we're on vacation now!

"V" is for vacation,
it's very, very fun.

"V" is for vacation,
we're going to have some fun!

[Donald] Tommy!

[Tom] Sorry again
about being late, guys.

Yeah, I didn't realize
the valley was so far.
-[May] Me neither.

I'm bummed we didn't have time
to take the tour.

I told you
we should come earlier.

No, that's okay. I mean,
there's nothing really to see.

Everything's still in boxes.
-Oh, Don't listen to her,
May's amazing.

She should've been
an interior designer.

[Rosemary] Really?
-Yeah, it's gorgeous.

So, Rosemary, Tom tells us
that you're an artist.

A painter.
-Oh.

Artist is like calling yourself
a genius or something.

Don't take it personally,
she's very shy...

with her work.
-[laughs]

Come on.
-Oh, right.

I'm sure that you
have been wonderful

in opening her up.
-[Tom] Okay.

Tom is very generous
with all of his painters.

Oh, yeah?

All 147 of them?
I found his list.

Oh, you saw it?
-I do not keep a list.

Alright, you're right.
It was a spreadsheet.

No.
-[all laughing]

Is it color coded? I always
appreciate when its color coded

so I keep everything straight.
-Donald.

I don't mean in a racist way.

[crickets chirping]

[light music]

This is nice. It's, uh,

yeah.

I could take it.

Can you?

What are you? Oh, okay.

This is cute, actually.

Separate beds.

[chuckles] Yeah.

[knocking]

Are you fucking kidding me?

Uh, who is it?

[Tom] Hang on a second!

Oh, my God.

Hello there, Uncle Tom!

Quite a lovely cabin
you have here.

Thanks. Uh,

where's your lady friend?
Isn't she--

Oh, Honeybee?
Yeah, she couldn't make it.

[Rosemary] Shocker.

[Leo] Yeah.

I really thought
I had this one in the bag.

Oh, my God.
Do you mean you dragged us

all up here based on
a couple of emojis, by the way,

so you could sleep with this
girl, and she's not even coming?

Oh. Well, no, she texted me
that she had a family emergency

followed by one of those
crying emojis.

You know that one? So.

Crying emoji, must be serious.

Yeah, so I can't really
be mad at her.

Whatever, dude.
This place better be awesome.

Oh. It is.

[Tom] Oh, here they are.

She is gorgeous.

[grunts]
-Oh.

Okay, you don't
have to grunt. I mean, just--
-Did I grunt?

It was involuntary.
-You were taking
mental pictures.

Hey, stop.
-[grunts]

[Tom] Jesus.

[Donald laughs]
-Stop.

Stop?
-Oh. Oh! I'm sorry.

Oh, I'm sorry, You, like,
"like her" like her.

She's, she's fun to hang out
with. Yeah, she's, you know.

Is she living with you?
-No, no.

I mean, she's, you know,
she's staying with me, but--

Oh, right. Just, like,
six or seven days a week.

That's cool.
-May likes her.

Really? She say something?

No, I can tell.

What's her deal?

She's new to town.
She's working at the gallery,

helping us out with the show.

New to town. I love it.

Oh, oh, helping "us" out?

How is she helping "us" out?
-She's doing office work for us.

Oh, like, back office work?

Are you serious?
-I hope so.

God, I hope so.
-Please, stop.

Are you gonna put her
in the show?
-No.

Why not?
-I don't want
to complicate things.

Holy shit!
You do like this chick.

Well, I don't mix
work with relationships.

[laughing] Um,
that's all you do.

No, I get it. No, no,
it's cool, I get it.

Things are different because
you're finally in love!

[Donald] I'm in love!
-Would you stop?
What are you, twelve?

I am so tired,
it looks so good.
-Yeah, it does.

The last few months has been--

Oh.

Uh.

[chuckles] I don't think
you can wear that in the tub.

[chuckles]
-No, seriously. They're, like,
actually like adamant about it.

Well, what are we
supposed to wear?

Okay.

I guess we're going to be
wearing the same outfit.

Oh! There they are.
-[Donald] Hey!

[Rosemary chuckles] What are you
two creeps doing up there?

Oh, just--
-Talking about
relationships, life.

Observing nature. You know.
-You know.

Seriously. Ding-dong
and Applesauce enjoying nature.

[Tom] I like that Leo took us
to a family friendly place.

[all laughing]
-[Rosemary] Totally.

[Tom] It feels so family.

Oh, my gosh, honey.
Isn't this awesome?
-[May] Yeah.

[Tom] Is it hot?
[Donald] Yes!

Are we really getting? Okay.
-We really are.

I am. Boom!
-[Rosemary laughs]

[Donald] Woo, yes!

[Tom] Okay, making an egg!

[Rosemary] Oh, my God.

It's so many dicks,
and it's so early.

Okay, yeah.
-Good to know.

We should get a pool
in the house. Let's put one in.

Yeah.
-[groans]

She's worried about the kids
we don't have yet drowning.

[May] Donald.
-Oh.

We're trying.
-[Rosemary] Really?

Well, we'll see.

Wait, aren't you guys worried

about all the porn?

Like, your kid--

no, seriously, isn't there like

a lot of porn shot in Van Nuys?
-Oh, Jesus.

That kitchen looked familiar.
-I hate that kitchen.

We're gonna re-do the kitchen.
-Yeah, eventually.

'Cause May's a baker.
-Oh, yeah?

A serious baker.
-Really?

I actually used to own a bakery

right down the street
from Tom's gallery.

Oh, cool.
-But we had to sell it

so we could live in the valley.

[Rosemary chuckles] Oh.

Are you--
Wait a minute, are you the--

Is she theMay? She's theMay.

That is her.
-Amazing. Oh, my God, shut up!

Seriously, your cupcakes
are like my crack!

[Leo] Whose cupcakes?
-[laughs] Oh! Nobody's--

Oh!
-Nobody's!

[laughs]
-[Rosemary] Sorry, guys,
this is my friend Leo.

[Leo] Incoming!
-[May] Oh, okay.

[splashing]
-[Leo] What's up?

[Tom] Everybody get
to know each other.

[laughs] Like, God.

Alright.
-[Rosemary chuckles]

This is how orgies start,
isn't it?

Not even a little bit.

How many people do you
need for an orgy?

Here we go.
-[Tom] That's a fair question.

Thank you.
-Orgy math is tricky.

I think the

technical requirement
is to have enough people so

you can't tell
who you're touching.
-Don't listen to him.

He's never even
had a threesome.
-I've tried it!

Really? When? You've slept
with, like, two people.

No. I've slept
with seven people,

if you count blowjobs
and cunnilingus.

[laughing]
-Cunnilingus?

Whatever, dude.
Threesomes are lame.

[laughing]

Fuck.

[Donald chuckling]
-What?

Nothing, nothing.

We're talking about threesomes
with two girls, right?

[crickets chirping]

[Rosemary] You tired, old man?

[laughing]

Leo is, um...

interesting.
-Yeah.

Uh-huh.
-Yeah, I feel

bad about the...
what was her name?

Honeybee?
-Yeah.

[laughs] Don't worry about it.
That wasn't going to happen.

Even if she came here,

he wouldn't have, uh,
closed the deal.

Hmm. No?
-No.

[Tom] What was Donald
doing tonight?

Was he grabbing you?
-[Rosemary laughing]

[Rosemary] What?
-[Tom] Oh, boy.

[both laughing]
-[Tom] I think
he was doing it in his mind.

[Rosemary] Oh, really?
-[Tom] Yeah.

[Rosemary] Is that true?

Did you have fun with them?
-Mm-hmm.

[both chuckling]

I feel like it's an octopus.
-[making monster sounds]

[laughing]

[light clicks]

[woman] And, deep breath in,
bring your arms up.

And look at the sky.

Let's sway like the trees.

Just like how the trees do,
and you can close your eyes.

Mm, do you feel that breeze?

Thank you, breeze.

Now, let's twinkle our fingers.

And you can let
your twinkle fingers go

wherever they want to go.

[Donald] Oh, sorry.

[Donald laughs]

That feels good.
-They're not twinkling.

You're not twinkling.
-You're really good, guys.

There's no twinkle.

Ooh.

Where are they going?
-[sighs]

[all laughing]

[Leo] So, it's my first day
at this new school

and I'm scared shitless.

And all the other kids are,
like, ignoring me, right?

So, one day at lunch
I hear a bunch of them

talking about how much
they love Billy Joel.

I can't believe
you're telling this story.

And so, I go home
and I stay up half the night

making this Billy Joel mix.

And I'm, like,
super proud of this thing.

And so, the next day,
I march onto the playground,

boombox in hand, you know,
just blasting "The Piano Man"...

[laughing]
-...thinking these guys
are going to think I am awesome.

And then all of a sudden,
Bobby Bosco gets up in my face,

and he turns off the music,
and he's like, "what is this?"

And I'm like,
"it's a Billy Joel Mix!"

And he's like, "Billy Joel?

Billy Joel was
a fucking faggot, man.

We like Billy Joe.

From Green Day."
-Oh, no!

Then he starts laughing and then

all these other kids join in.

And it's just fucking brutal.

And I feel like I'm about ready
to cry or something.

[sighing] And then,
all of a sudden...

the music comes back on.

And everyone stops.

And there's this one.

[laughing]

I mean, the smallest human being
I've ever seen in my life.

[all laughing]

Just, like, belting it out.

And it was...

I mean, it was, like,
one of the nicest things

anyone's ever done for me.

I just really liked the song.
-[May laughing]

Well, you should have
seen Tom in college.

Okay.
-You guys went
to college together?

No, no, Donald
and I grew up together.

I visited him in college a lot.

Which I soon realized
had nothing to do with me.

[Donald] Oh, that's not--
-Yeah, He'd call me up
and be like,

"What are you up
to this weekend?"

And before I could
even answer him,

he'd be like, "Uh, is, uh,
is May going to be there?"

Okay, that is completely bull--
-[Tom] True, true!

May didn't even know I existed.

That's also true.

Aw.
-[Leo] I'm sorry, man.

So anyway,
when I moved out to L.A.,

Donald came out to visit me.

When I was throwing Tom
a birthday party

at this Karaoke place.
-[Leo] Nice!

[May] Yeah.
-Love that!

[chuckles] Yeah, so,
May signed us up to sing.

By the time our number
was called,

I was actually in the bathroom.

No, actually you were at the bar

flirting with that redhead.

[Donald] No, he was
in the bathroom

banging that redhead.

Jesus! Really?
-I really bet.

[Donald] Yup.

[Tom] Thank you.
-You're welcome.

[May] Well,
wherever you were...
-Inside her.

...I had to bring Donald
up on stage with me instead.

And I don't sing.
-Nope, not even a little bit.

[May] I mean,
he just kind of moans.

But.
-But, no, no, no. That night,

honestly, he was,
he was, unbelievable.

I mean, I literally, I left this
poor girl in the bathroom stall.

I did. I do.
-Shut up!

[Donald] I think
she's still there today.
-I should call her.

No, so I could, I could
go out and hear him.

I mean, you were ridiculous.

Ridiculous, yes.

And... and the rest is history.

[May] As they say.

[Donald chuckles]

Leo.
-Mm?

Slow down.

[gargling]
-No-- oh.

[May laughs]
-No way, man.

I'm single and ready to mingle.

Whoa! Hey, what's up, ladies?

What are you trying to do,

fuck a tree?

Oh, yeah, ooh.

I love fucking trees.

[grunts]
-[chuckling] Oh, my God.

[Leo] Wow, you need
some moisturizer.

I got to be careful,
I'll get a splinter in my dick.

[laughing]

[Rosemary chuckles]
You're so insane.

Are you okay?

No, no, no. Please do not.

Do not encourage Sad Leo.

Oh, It's just like,
"Where is she already, you know?

It's just like, "Fuck!"

[sighs]

I mean, I don't mean to sound
like a girl or anything,

but it's just like, man, Sunday
nights get lonely sometimes.

Hey, you don't want that.

Everybody's looking
for their person.

You don't really
believe that, do you?

I think everyone believes that,

or they should.

Don't you ever? [chuckles]

Sorry, don't you ever just
want to say, "Fuck it"?

Like, do something that doesn't
make sense, you know.

Screw up your life,
like, leave your husband.

Whoa, okay.

She's kidding.

I don't think she is.

I mean, I get it.

Like, what if I didn't exist?

Yes!
-[May] But you do exist.

[Donald] Okay, look,
If I were on my own, I'd just--

I would sell our place

and get the smallest,
shittiest boat.

You'd sell our place?
-I would be a fish farmer!

Oh, so now I'm stopping you
from being a fish farmer?

[Leo] That's amazing.

There's no point
to this conversation.

Like, haven't you ever had
a fantasy that he was dead?

No! Dead?
-Not like, "dead" dead.

But just, like, gone.

Yes, he drives me crazy a lot

but at the end
of the day, I'm...

happy that I get to lay down
next to him.

Sounds really romantic.

[chuckles] What?

I-- no, I'm just,
I'm just saying

not everyone is like that.

Okay.

What about you, Tom?

What about me?

Are you like that?

Are you looking for
your soulmate?

[Rosemary] Leo.

Shut up.

Why are youblushing?

You're such a dick.

[trumpet ringtone sounding]

We're ovulating.

[Rosemary]
I sort of feel bad for him.

I don't know,
it's just so, like, heavy.

You know what I mean?
-What are you talking about?

I don't know. They seem
kind of miserable to me.

Donald and May?
-Yeah!

No, they're great together.

They're just, you know.

They-- I don't know.
I don't really

even know them, but--

[yawns] Exactly.
-[chuckles]

[chuckling] You should shut up.

[laughing]

You're so rude.

You want me to shut up?
-No, I don't want
you to shut up.

Tell me what you think.
-Hmm.

I don't know.

It's just like...

I mean, can you picture
the two of them having sex?

[laughing]

Are you serious right now?

I'm totally serious.
-Come on!

I know you know
what I'm talking about.
-No, look.

They're going through
a bit of a rough patch

right now, that's all.
They are just...

It's like, um, they're like
an anti-marriage campaign.

Look, things aren't always...
-I'm sorry.

...smooth sailing--
-So you don't get in the boat?

No, you, you get in the boat.

You just got
to make sure you're in

with the right first mate,
that's all.

Mm-hmm. I have
a question for you.

Mm.
-Are you a sailor?

Because you'd make
such a hot sailor.

I think you are
a sailor, aren't you?
-You know what?

You need to focus.
You need to focus.
-You're keeping secrets from me.

You know what? Okay, I got it.

I got it, it's like,

it's like you're in the bunker.

Oh, all right.
-Right, and you--

So now we're in a war. [laughs]

Would you let me finish?
-We went from sailing...

Would you let me finish?
-...to warring?

Please.
-Fine, I'm not going to
fight with you about this.

I'm not fighting,
I'm trying to explain something.
-Alright, old man. Explain it.

Okay, so... now I lost
my train of thought.

Okay, you know what?
Forget about the two
of them for a second.

Just, I mean... like, you and I.

I mean, we're...

What?

Lost.
-You--

[chuckles] I wasn't going
to say lost but--
-No, no, wait.

I mean, seriously,
how did we get--

Where are we?

Hey.

[sighs] What?

What would you do
if I weren't here?

[groans] Are you really
waking me up for this?

I want to know.

I'd sleep
on both sides of the bed.

That's it?
-Mm-hmm.

Come on.
-[groaning]

Come on.

Please?

Oh, gosh.

[sighs]

I would, um...

I'd go out on the rooftop
and sunbathe naked.

And I would flirt a lot.

With married men.

And I'd go out on dates,

just lots of dates and...

think about all the ways
that they weren't like you,

and how I wish that
they were like you,

but then thank God
for all the ways

that they're not
like you. [laughing]

And I would buy
all new bras and lingerie.

And I would go out and
I would just fuck somebody

the way that
I've never fucked you before.

And I would travel,

I would just go everywhere
and get fat.

And then I would go and get
in the best shape of my life.

And I would say what I mean
more often, to everyone.

I would be more excited
to wake up in the morning.

I just, I would just feel
more alive.

But then I would go to bed
and I would miss you...

the old you.

I really miss the old you.

This is how orgies start,
isn't it?

[waves crashing]

[splashing]

[Tom] Ro?

Is that you?

[eerie music]

Hey.

I know you're in there.

[soft dramatic music]

[Tom] No, they love--

Yeah, that's, that's
the one they loved.

That's what I said.

Yeah.

Um...

Yeah.

No, those were the exact--

those were the exact words
that they used, yeah.

No, they're very excited.

I told them you had
a whole series

of similar, um, things that
they could always,

you know, take a...

uh...

um...

Yeah, I'd say so.

Okay, listen, I've got to go.

I will, I will see you Thursday.
Okay, alright, bye.

Hey, what's up?

I'm not doing
this again with you.

Doing what?
-You and Pinkerbell are flitin'

around here like it's your first
date at sleep-away camp.

It's not like that.
-She just walked out here
without a shirt.

We're closed for
the installation. Who cares?

She doesn't know what's
coming, does she?

Poor girl.

[sighs]
-Are we sleeping?

You are.

Were.

Good.

I saw your painting today.

What?

What? No, it's not
finished yet--
-Relax. I--

I think we should put it
in the show.

I want to.

I think you should do
a whole series for it.

Why?

Because it's really good.

You're really good.

Do you know that?

I love you.

So, what time does
the Tom-i-nator get home?

If you don't hold still we're
going to be here all night.

Stop sketching me!
-Why?

God, we're supposed
to be hanging out.

[paper crunches]

Ouch.

I just can't believe that you
and Tommy-Mc-Wonderful--

Okay, You know what? If you
don't stop it with the nicknames

I'm going to think
you're in love with him.

Should we order some food?

Rosemary?

Rosemary?
-Huh? What?

I said, should
we order some food?

Oh, sorry. I just--

I keep thinking
I should go to the gallery

and check the layout again.
-Oh, God, you are obsessed.

[phone vibrating]

Do you know how hard it is
to get into a gallery?

And this is a good one.
-No.

Well, it's really hard.

Well then I guess it's a good
thing you're with him.

[phone vibrating]

Is it weird?

What?

Living with someone?

No. Why?
-I don't know.

I just figured
you would've bailed by now.

What's that supposed to mean?

Hey, I'm exactly the same way.

I don't bail.

I just-- I go, wherever...

I go wherever I'm happy.

I'm happy here.

[Rosemary] Hey.
-Hey.

You're home so early.

Yeah, just uh...

[Rosemary] What are you doing?
Are you going to come up?

Yeah, yeah.

In a minute. Um...

Was Leo here?
-[Rosemary] Yeah.

I texted you five times.

[Rosemary] What?
-Nothing, just...

[Rosemary] I can't hear,
can you come up here?

Yeah. Yup, coming.

Hey.

Hey.

So, what were you guys doing?

Oh, we went for a hike
and then he sat for me.

He sat for you, did he?

Yeah.

What?
-Don't you think that's--

I don't know, just,

don't you think it's a little--

I mean, the guy's here
all the time. I mean,

doesn't he, doesn't he work?

I thought he had a job.

I mean...

He's the only person I know

who doesn't have anything
to do all day, so.

I've still got two more
paintings to finish.

Right, okay.
-Hey.

Are you jealous?
-[Tom chuckles]

Jealous of Leo?

No, I just--

He's my friend.

Okay.

[door closes]

[phone ringing]

[phone continues to ring]

I think the phone is ringing.

What?
-Phone?

Oh, God.

Jack Feldman--
-[busy tone]

Sorry.

I'm just a little distracted.

There seems to be
an epidemic around here.

Annabelle, you got the list?
-[Annabelle] Yes.

And we have a ton of
major people coming.

Are you excited?

Oh, yeah, I guess.
-You guess?

No, oh, oh, I mean, of course.

And thank you again
for putting me in your show.

[Annabelle] I'm finished!
-Oh, good.

Never mind, let's see the list.

Oh, good girl.

Hello.
-Hi.

I missed you today.
-Mm.

That's nice.

I'm going to go to bed, babe.

I'm so tired.

Well, you don't

have to necessarily go
to bed, right?
-Mm-hmm.

Can't we just, uh...

Hmm?
-You can do whatever you want,

but I'm not going
to participate.

[mumbling]

Oh. [chuckles]

It's you.

Yup. It's me.

Just the guy who owns the place.

[Rosemary chuckles]

No, thank you.

You know...
I meant to tell you...

I'm impressed.

Thank you.

Thank you, seriously,
this is, ah... just so exciting.

Don't thank me.

The way you shimmied on in here.

That takes real talent.

Sorry?

It's a shame.

I could've helped you.

I wanted to.

But I guess it was
just easier wandering
around in your underwear

waiting for him
to notice your paintings.

Yeah, it's funny.

Tom usually goes
for the model type.

You must be a hell of a fuck.

[mumbling]

Hey.
-Hi.

Excuse me for one second.

[crowd chattering]

Whoa, whoa, what are you doing?
What happened?

Please don't make me go there.
-What are you talking about?

What happened, wha--
what happened?

Did someone--

Look at me. Look at me.
Everybody loves you in there.

You got to go back in.
Your stuff is great.

Hey, hey, hey.

I love you.

You do?
-You got to go back in.

You really love me?
-Yeah.

Let's get married.

[laughs] What?

So, this is it.

It's the last one.

Oh, they spelled
your name wrong.

What?

Bosemary.
-[huffs]

Well, I guess I'm lucky
to even be here.

That's not luck, it's karma.

"Limerence."

There once was a man
from Nantucket.

Not limerick, dumb ass.
Limerence.

I just, you know-- what is it?

It's a self-portrait.

But it doesn't look like you.

It's a little part of me.

Hey.
-[Rosemary] Hi.

Hi.

Okay, weird.

What, you didn't tell them?

We're getting married.

[Donald laughs]

You did it, brother. Come here.

[Donald laughs]

Actually, she did it.
-By a dumpster.

[Donald] That's fantastic.
-Very romantic.

Congrats! [chuckles]

You know, we've been talking
about this for a while.

I said it was going to happen.

You said, no, it's just cool--
-It was all you.

Yeah, it was me, I think I was
a positive influence.

[May] Just stop talking.
-May, it's awesome.
Congrats, dude.

[May] You've talked enough.

May.
-Just stop talking.

You've known each other
for about 12 minutes.

It's a bad idea.

May.
-I'm done.

Shots?

[Donald] Fuck.

Hey.

Donald.

[gentle music]

[glass shatters]

So, how does it feel
knowing that

you're only going to
have sex with one person

for the rest of your life?

I'm busy!

Hey, will you open the door?

Hah, you're waiting
'til now to write your vows?

Shut up.

Aren't you worried
you're going to cheat on him?

No.
-Well, you've cheated
on every guy.

What, like,
in high school? Come on.

Yeah, if you did it then,
you'll do it now.

You know what they say,
history loves company.

No, that's wrong.

History repeats itself.

Misery loves company.

Either way you're a cheater.

Cheater, cheater, pumpkin eater.

Get out of here!
-Oh, my God!

Seriously?

You want to get stoned?
-Dude.

I'm about to get married.

[hip hop rap music]

Okay, I cannot,

I can't think
with this stupid music on.

Oh, God, now what's wrong
with the music?

It's offensive!
-Who the hell are you right now?

I don't need this right now.
Turn the music on!

Turn the music off!

Because-- it's not funny!

It's ridiculous.

You grew up in Greenwich,
Connecticut. And you're white.

Okay, bridezilla!

[groaning]

Hey.

Listen.

You know you don't have
to do this.

You look really pretty.

I do?

Rosemary.

[Rosemary] God dammit.

[light music]

[Tom] If you're playing
hard to get still,
it's not going to work.

We got to go.

Hey, man.

Where's, where's Ro?

She went for a walk.

Look, dude.

I don't think
she wants to marry you. So...

Do me a favor?

Stay the fuck away from her.

Rosemary's gone.

[May] What? Where did she go?
-I don't know.

I'm going to check
the other side of the property.

Keep me company?

Yeah. Sure.

Yeah.
-[May] I'm not saying anything.

Ro!

Ro!

[May] Do you think
that anybody knows?

[Donald] Knows what?

[May] That we're
getting divorced.

[Donald] I don't think anybody's
paying attention to us.

[May] What a mess.

[Donald] At least it isn't ours.

[May] Yeah. For once.

[May] I'm too old for this.
-[Donald chuckles]

[Donald] You're not old.
-[May] Yes, I am.

[Donald] You're beautiful.

Hey, we got to get
this thing started.

Where is everyone?

She's gone.

What did you do?

I went for a walk.

Yeah.

I see.

Do you ever feel like
the person you want to be...

and the person you
actually are would, like,
hate each other?

Are you fucking kidding me
right now?

Sorry.

I'm sorry.

I just, I didn't know
what to do.

Which, uh...

Which part's, uh, confusing you?

The vows? Or the...

the commitment?

[sighs] Fuck off.

Cause you're afraid, maybe?

It's just like,
it's like, different.

You and me are different.

It's not how it was.

Why--

Why is that a bad thing?

Because it sucks!

And it's not what
I signed up for, so...

It sucks?
-I don't know.

I don't know, I don't know.

Okay.

Please can you just admit
that this is different?

I know that you know
what I'm talking about.

I know you can feel it.

It's bullshit.
-It's not bullshit!

It's fucking bullshit!

You don't just blow shit up
because it gets uncomfortable.

Why not?
-Because you can't treat people

like that!

You're not the only one here.

You know, I haven't painted
anything, in like... forever.

[Tom] So, that's what
this is about?

No, it's not. It's, uh...

You don't even notice.

What are you talking about?

Of course I notice you.

You're all I notice.

Why'd you ask me to marry you?

I have no idea.

No, wait. Wait, wait, wait.

It's not like that.

Tom.

Tom! Tom!

I wish we could go back...

to the way things were
in the beginning.

Hey, wait.

Don't go.

You need to grow up.

["Held in Your Arms"
by John Bobek]

♪ Time

♪ Passes slowly

♪ Now I'm without you

♪ And sleep

♪ Never comes easy

♪ Now I'm without you

♪ Waiting alone

♪ For you to call

♪ 'Cause I missed
The sound of your voice ♪

♪ If I had one wish

♪ I'd be held in your arms

♪ But I don't have a choice

♪ And I miss you

♪ I've missed you

♪ For so long

♪ I miss you, I miss you

♪ But you're gone

♪ Waiting long

♪ For you to come home

♪ Because I missed
Seeing your face ♪

♪ If I had one wish

♪ I'd be held in your arms

♪ There's just empty space

♪ I miss you, I miss you

♪ I miss you, I miss you

♪ I miss you, I miss you

♪ But you're gone

Hey. What are you doing here?
-Uh. [chuckles]

Didn't feel right letting you do
all this by yourself.

Oh, thanks.

Plus, uh...
got you a little something.

It's not a thermometer,
I promise.

How did you do this?

It's my half of the house.

I'm contracted to a lifetime
supply of cupcakes.

It's in the fine print.

[knocking]

[Rosemary] Go around.

[door closes]

Hi.

[Leo] Hey.

Um...

Are you okay?
-Mm.

Oh, yeah. I just, um,
fell asleep. Sleeping.

Sorry I've been so M.I.A.
I just, uh...

Oh, no.
-I've just been really busy.

Yeah, me too.

Well, you look great.

[laughing] No, I don't.
I look like a--

Hooker?
-[laughing]

Oh, God.

Okay, all right. Um,

look, I'm not exactly sure
how to do this,

but I do know that
I owe you an apology.

Oh, no, I, uh--
-Yes, and even though
we don't always see eye to eye,

and you're really
mean sometimes,

and, you know,
you yell at me a lot.

This is like
the worst apology ever.

I know. No, I have notes.

Notes I wrote.

[clears throat] Dear Rosemary...

I know I've been a bad friend.

I'm really sorry
that I hurt you.

You didn't deserve that.

I hope I didn't completely
fuck up your life because

I would hate myself forever.

P.S. I miss you.

P.S.S.

You're still in love with him.

[Leo chuckles]

[May] A yellow cupcake,
that's only the best

and most tastiest cupcake
that we have.

[May] Did you have school today?

Yeah, how was it?
Do you like school?

Good.

Okay.

Do you want anything else?

Um, no, thank you.

Here we go.
A sweet treat for a sweet girl.

[melancholic piano music]

Are you going to share
with your mom?

[gentle music]

Annabelle!

Oh, my God! Hi!

What are you doing here?
-Oh, it's so good to see you.

You look great.

How are you?
-I am great!

Today's my last day.

Oh, wow.

You guys are together.

That's, uh...
-We got a house in Joshua tree.

Yeah, on our way to the tree.

[chuckles] Cool.
-Hello, love.

You look just like a girl
I once knew.

I am a girl you once knew.

Yeah, I get ya.

See you in the next life.

[chuckles nervously] Is it okay
if I stay and look around?

Totally.
-Toodles, love.

Oh. Bye.

[Tom] I had it leaning against
the wall downstairs.

I thought it looked
better out here.

I, um, didn't know
you would be here.

Where else would I be?

I was, I was in
the neighborhood, and, I, um--

Decided to stalk me again?
-[chuckles]

Well, I've only walked
by here like 47 times, so--

47? Huh.

Well, 48 is the number

where they give you
official stalker status.

So, you're, you're in the clear.

[chuckles]

I like your hair, by the way.

Thanks. It's not,
it's not too old lady-ish?

No, no. I like it.

I mean, you know,
I've been called an old man

so, uh, take that
with a grain of salt.

[chuckles]

Yeah, you didn't like it
when I did that.

No, no. I thought it was, uh...

Yeah.
-Um...

I'm sorry.

Me too.

I miss you.

It was, uh,
it was good to see you.

You too.

Hey.

Can I ask you something?

Which part of you is it?

It's you.

[rock music]

♪ I never knew
What I was going to do ♪

♪ When I grew up

♪ Till I grew up

♪ Some things you think
You're never going to do ♪

♪ When you grow up

♪ Then you grow up

♪ Well that's one thing done

♪ That leaves love
And learning ♪

♪ Just what life is all about

♪ I got about 50 years
Left in me ♪

♪ Gives me 50 years
To figure it all out ♪

♪ You never knew
what you were going to do ♪

♪ When you stood up

♪ Till you stood up

♪ Now you can see
How everything can be ♪

♪ When you stand up

♪ So you stand out

♪ Well that's one thing done

♪ That leaves love
And learning ♪

♪ Just what life is all about

♪ You got about
50 years left in you ♪

♪ Give you 50 years
To figure it all out ♪

♪ Figure it all out

♪ Figure it all out

♪ I never knew
What I was going to do ♪

♪ When I grew up

♪ Till I grew up

♪ Some things you think
You're never going to do ♪

♪ When you grow up

♪ Then you grow up

♪ Well that's one thing done

♪ That leaves love
And learning just what ♪

♪ Life is all about

♪ I got about
50 years left in me ♪

♪ Give me 50 years
To figure it all out ♪

[light rock music]

♪ You say we're done

♪ I don't buy it
I don't buy it ♪

♪ You say you want
To make it right ♪

♪ Then try it

♪ Try it

♪ 'Cause if you want it

♪ I want it

♪ Yeah, if you want me
You got me ♪

♪ So baby, baby

♪ Kiss me one more time

♪ We'll be all right All right

♪ Hold me one minute longer

♪ We'll be all right All right

♪ Don't walk away

♪ We'll be all right All right

♪ Give us one last chance
To be all right ♪

♪ All right

♪ All right

♪ We've done this far too long

♪ To give up, to give up

♪ Say you got these standards

♪ I'll live up, I'll live up

♪ It's taking too long to say

♪ I need you

♪ I know I can make it better

♪ Please baby, baby

♪ Kiss me one more time

♪ We'll be all right...