Life is All You Get (1997) - full transcript
Jan Nebel is young man who is fired from his job at the slaughterhouse after he beats up two civil-dressed cops at a street riot. Soon thereafter his father dies, and Jan moves to his apartment, sharing it with former co-worker Buddy and girlfriend Vera.
Please, clear the intersection!
1st column, move in!
Grab the stone-throwers!
What's wrong?
What's wrong with you, huh?
Don't you like it?
I can't right now, Sylvia.
I'm sorry. I just can't.
You're right.
That's too bad.
Maybe another time, OK?
Where's the toilet?
Sylvia, it's sharp!
Do they squeak when you...
No, they're already dead.
Jan?
It's nothing. Forget it.
Is everything alright?
Watch out!
They're cops!
What? Shit, I'm sorry!
I didn't know!
Shit!
Let's get out of here!
This is an illegal demonstration!
Please, clear the street immediately!
Shit!
You know them?
No.
Can we go have a cup of coffee
when this is over?
Good evening. Sorry to bother you,
but my brother and I...
Let's try upstairs.
Hi. Are you gangsters?
Yeah, Catwoman and Joker.
Can we come in?
How about it?
For 10 marks.
OK. Here.
I don't believe it.
Max, what are you doing?
Nothing.
Get to bed! It's mattress duty time!
CANNIBAL HOLOCAUST.
Right. Keep going.
My dad's in training.
MAN-EATER TWO! No, uhm...
ZOMBIE FLESH EATERS.
Right. Keep going.
NIGHT OF THE RIDING ZOMBIES.
NIGHT OF THE SCREAMING CORPSES.
You always mix them up.
THE FOG.
Right. Keep going.
Shit! What do we do now?
What's going on, Max?
CHILD'S PLAY.
Part 2.
I don't believe it!
You're still not in bed!
Who rang? Let's go! Hit the sack!
I don't know.
May we come in?
What do you want? Rudy, come here!
What's going on here?
We're looking for two suspects.
Great, but you got the wrong place!
So, on your way.
There's the door.
What was that?
Who's that?
You're the one who should know!
Uschi, who's that?
No idea.
You know him?
No.
Who's that?
My sister.
Pardon me.
Get out of there, right now!
What did I do?
Shut up!
And who's going to pay for our shower?
So what's this?
A butcher knife.
A butcher knife, huh?
For butchering pigs?
Yeah, pigs, bulls,
whatever comes along.
Did you call us "pigs"?
No, I mean pigs and bulls...
For violation of ? 113/1,
resisting arrest,
? 125/1 and 2, breach of the peace,
with ? 223, grievous bodily harm,
you are sentenced to a fine
of 90 x 50 marks.
The amount of 4,500 marks
is payable within 2 weeks.
If desired, you can pay in installments.
If you fail to make your payments
you will be sentenced to 90 days,
one day of which has been served.
All trial costs are charged
to the defendant.
Mr. Nebel, do you accept your sentence?
2 weeks in Egypt for as little
as 999 marks. Cairo, the pyramids,
Abu What-do-you-call-it...
And get shot by mullahs?
No, thanks, Lilo. I'll stay here.
What happened to you?
Hey, I asked you a question!
I played KIDDIE KARAOKE.
Put on some tights,
so you don't catch a cold.
And careful with the neglig?e.
Yes.
And don't eat all that sweet stuff.
It'll ruin your teeth and your brain.
But I'm hungry!
Then wait till dinner.
I don't like those stupid steaks!
Stupid steaks!
Why do you think meat is so expensive?
It makes you smart and strong.
That's stupid.
It's not stupid! Look around at school.
Today's carrot chewers
are tomorrow's welfare cases.
She doesn't know what you mean.
She ought to learn young.
Or you wanna be a cleaning lady?
No, a night watchman.
They're called security guards!
OK.
Don't be so rude to Harry!
And ask if you want something!
Can I have some coke?
What's the magic word?
Asshole!
Did she say "asshole"?
Hi, Jan! Where you been?
Jenni. Jenni!
Turn the music down!
You're back again, huh?
An out-of-town game?
Dad called up twice about chess.
Where were you?
Sylvia must have worn him out.
My God!
She really gave it to you.
Am I right or am I right?
I was in jail.
And where's the meat?
No meat today.
You gotta bring us some
to pay for Lilo's boarding house.
Leave him alone.
Your brother thinks he's
the fucking emperor of China.
What did he say? He was in jail?
Something like that.
"Knight moves to D3.
Yours, Dad."
Hello, Jan.
Hello, Jenni.
We wanted to play Tarzan and Jenni.
Tarzan is tired today.
Where were you so long?
I was waiting for you.
I'll tell you some other time, OK?
I don't want you to move out.
Come on, don't start that again.
I can't stay in this closet forever.
I've been here much too long.
Then move into my room...
I'm beat,
and I have to go to work soon.
But we didn't do our workout yet.
You said we have to do it everyday.
OK, but only 10 today.
15.
OK, 12.
We agreed on a week.
It's no fitness center for poor people!
I need reliable people!
I've always been reliable.
Yesterday all hell broke loose,
and where was Mr. Universe?
That has to be done by 6.30.
I was in jail. I was on my way here.
Go cry on your hairdresser's shoulder!
He gets paid for it!
Here you get paid
for the pounds on the scale!
One of those jerks from the job center!
What do you think you're doing?
"Dances with Pigs?"
Now get to work! Or do you
two sweethearts have other plans?
Shit! Those guys again!
Put your caps on! Quit smoking!
Clean everything up, spick and span!
And you take over the clown's work!
Come on, sweetie. Go get Mommy.
You can sing it to me at home.
Do we get compensation for this?
I don't know what the bell says.
Perhaps "ding-a-ling".
OK..."ding-dong".
I'm Buddy.
I'm Jan.
Does he always take so long?
Yes.
Go get Mommy, and don't hang up again.
When did you get here today?
Hey, are you listening?
When did you get here?
11:30.
You followed me around for 1/2 hour.
That's 7 hours.
That makes 95 marks.
Sweetie, you always have to put
the receiver next to the phone.
I've told you that so often.
Tell Mommy to hurry up.
But it's really the last stanza, OK?
Next week you can stay home.
Why?
Because I don't need you.
But I thought...
You thought wrong!
Now, show me your bag.
Does your bag need a tampon?
A rooster says "kickerikee".
A German rooster doesn't say
"cock-a-doodle-doo". Go and get Mommy.
This is really the very last stanza.
And you worked...
7,5 hours. That makes 101.25.
Hey, the clown can add.
Listen here, smart ass.
Call me a clown once more, and I'll
knock your chompers to your asshole!
You got it? And you know
where to stick the small change!
You're no professional thief, are you?
More like a bloody beginner.
I owe you a favor.
You have an apartment for me?
I'm looking for one myself.
What's in there? Filets?
Be happy you lost that job.
Can I buy you a coffee?
It's on me.
Thank you.
All that blood and guts is no good.
Scaffolding's the game.
It's good money. You're in good shape.
You should look into it.
And why are you here?
Hard times, you know.
President of the Spree Teddy Club.
Honorary president.
Write down your number.
On Monday I'll get a job
for both of us.
She just killed her husband.
She wants you to help
get rid of the body.
Go on over there.
I'll cover you.
Hello, Moni. Hello.
Long time no see.
Got a steady job here again?
No, it was just a quickie.
This is for St. Nicholas' Day.
Thanks.
Are you alright?
I'm fine. I just wanted to say hi.
Is something wrong?
No, I'm OK.
Just a bit tired.
I gotta go.
Wait a sec. There's something...
Don't tell me you're pregnant.
That'd be great.
Then what's wrong?
You remember Didi?
Your part time fianc??
He infected himself with Aids.
I mean HIV.
Oh God! When? No idea.
It was a routine kidney test.
Maybe he's had it for ages.
Shit. And you?
I don't know.
I just found out yesterday.
And what about me?
No idea. You gotta get tested.
Sorry, Jan.
You dare to insult a Klingon!
Now you must die!
Stop it, please! I want to go home!
Only your blood can set you free!
What are you doing?
Flow blood, flow!
Redeem this scum from its pitiful life!
Hey!
You shouldn't go over there.
Those guys are punks.
I want more mayonnaise.
What were you doing there anyway?
Mom told me to play outside.
Is she having one of her stupid
shopping parties? Forget it.
Do you know what day it is today?
St. Nicholas' Day.
And what did we have planned?
I thought you'd forgotten.
What am I getting for Christmas?
What do you want?
I can't say it out loud.
Then whisper in my ear. Is that your daddy?
Yes. Jenni!
And is your daddy always a good boy?
Yes, very good.
Did he beat up some policemen?
I don't know.
Did he wreck somebody's bathroom?
I don't believe it. Hello.
Hello, Joker.
Vera!
Just a minute! I'll be right there!
Nice to see you.
Can you wait a minute?
Who's that?
I don't really know her.
I may be only 7, but I'm not stupid.
I don't even know her name.
Her name is Vera! Put me down.
What's wrong?
Nothing. I want to get down.
Your little girl's sweet.
She's my sister's girl.
So what happened two other night?
Nothing special. A night in jail
and a little fine.
And all my fault?
Exactly. You got 41/2 thousand?
4,500? Oh, shit!
I lost my job, too.
I'm really sorry.
Can I invite you to dinner?
Where? At the next greasy spoon?
No, really exquisite with all
the trimmings. Tomorrow evening?
How about it? OK, and where?
Sch?nhauser Subway Station, at 7.
OK.
Hallo. Hallo.
How are you doing?
OK.
And how's it going in there?
Alright.
Yeah, I have to go back in there. Bye.
What's up? Last delivery!
Are you crazy?
If she stayed away all night
you'd be the last to notice!
Who're you talking about?
Jenni! But what do you care!
She isn't your brat! You scumbag!
Sure, they tried to kill you.
Yeah, they cut my arm with a knife.
I can't see a thing.
They were just pretending.
I didn't ask you! And I'm not gonna
take anymore of your crap...
Shit!
That's what happens!
You'll never make it.
I was the
German mashed potato golf champ.
Not bad.
ZOMBIE FLESH EATER.
ZOMBIE FLESH EATERS.
But we'll accept that one, won't we?
What'll they think of next?
And now the final stretch...
Number 8.
May I hear it again?
Shall we let him hear it again?
Yes, we shall.
THE NIGHT OF THE RIDING ZOMBIES?
THE NIGHT OF THE SCREAMING CORPSES.
That's too bad!
THE NIGHT OF THE SCREAMING CORPSES.
That's the kind of shit he knows.
It's typical.
I have to go.
It's the PLUS-TV TALENT BOX.
So, get up, couch-potatoes.
Every clip we broadcast gets 1,000 marks.
What's wrong? What d'you mean?
Don't be a jerk.
Something's wrong with you.
Can you lend me some money?
How much? 1,000 marks.
Where do I get
1,000 marks? I thought...
I thought... Am I Rockefeller?
Ask Dad.
Oh, he called up about your chess game.
I bet he has some money,
considering how little he spends.
What do you need it for anyway?
It's not important.
Dad?
Dad?
This is the answering machine of
Lilo Nebel and her stupid friend Harry.
Stop it, Jenni. It's me.
Hi, Jan. I was just pretending.
Because of that bad man
who calls up kids when they're alone.
Jenni, I have to talk to Lilo.
Mommy isn't here.
The man tells kids to stick a nail
in the socket...
OK, I'll call up later.
Or to drop a hair drier in the tub.
And for the back with its smaller bones
I use the poultry shears.
Dad?
Only the liver isn't right in this
recipe. So I'll fry it for myself.
Emergency ward. May I help you?
I need a doctor.
Is it an emergency? Not exactly.
It's for my father.
Please, wait a minute.
Shit!
Shit!
Hey, wait! Where are you going?
Come here, Mister.
Yes, you. Come here!
The concert will be nice.
Sorry, I'm late.
It's OK. I'm always late, too.
What were you doing in there?
It was cold, and he had cigarettes.
What are you laughing about?
You walk funny.
What's so funny about how I walk?
Well, it's kind of macho-like.
Macho-like?
Are you dressed for the opera?
Not exactly. You'll see.
You look pretty wiped out.
Did something happen?
Wait a minute. This will distract
everyone from your outfit.
So this will knock 'em out?
It looks alright on you.
Hello.
Where do you
know him from? I don't.
But he'll himself ask how he knows me.
Look, I ordered all this for you.
It isn't well thought out.
There's no vision...
You can't say that!
Excuse me. At last! Thanks.
What isn't well thought out?
Forget it.
Ladies and gentlemen, the President of
the German Headache and Migraine Society,
Prof. Sengwein.
As you know,
I'm not a man of many words.
Thank you for making this convention
a success. Enjoy yourselves.
I don't belong here.
I bet it's delicious.
Do you know anybody here?
No.
Excuse me. What's your name?
Jan.
Jan what?
Jan Nebel. Jan Nebel?
Is that a pseudonym?
Hey, Nebel! Is everything OK?
Want to go to the hospital?
Or to an emergency doctor?
But you have to lie down somewhere?
Can't I just stay here?
It depends how long our budget lasts.
Take it easy.
As long as he doesn't puke.
These are great.
I almost got myself a kebab.
Where are we headed... roughly?
You live in Kreuzberg, don't you?
Kreuzberg, like I said.
Hello.
Vera! Wait!
Thanks a lot. No problem.
How about lobster next time?
Have fun.
Bye.
So this is where you live?
Like some tea?
Come here.
Oh, hello!
Vera!
Hey there.
Vera, wait a minute!
I just wanted to make some tea.
What's up?
Is something wrong?
Why are we here?
I thought I'd bring you home.
You're totally beat, aren't you?
I don't live here anymore.
But your parents do.
My father does.
And this is your old room?
And where's your father?
My father's, well, he is dead.
I thought he lived here.
Yes, he does, but not anymore,
because he's dead.
Since when?
Since today.
You're kidding.
It's true. He's sitting in the kitchen.
What d'you mean?
He's in the kitchen.
Dead. The way I found him.
In the kitchen? I don't believe it.
It's true!
What did he die of?
I don't know. Maybe from being alone.
Did you call a doctor?
Well, I tried,
but then I remembered our date.
It's not so great to leave your dead
father hanging around in the kitchen,
but we'd have missed each other
otherwise.
Do you have a cigarette?
Maybe we should put him in his bed.
Somehow I imagined our first date
would be different.
Did you like your father?
I don't know. As a kid I hated him.
I know what you mean.
And how did you two get along?
We didn't get along when I lived here.
We were always arguing.
Later on we played chess by phone.
I came by now and again,
but only because I felt sorry for him.
How do you mean that?
I felt sorry for him. That's all.
Did you tell your sister yet?
I tried, but she wasn't there.
Is everything OK?
Yeah, I'm OK.
That fucking machine again!
Lilo, it's me, Jan.
Dad is dead.
For a burial
I recommend our package deal 2:
A pure pine coffin with hand carvings.
The inner lining is made of rayon
as well as the decor.
This comes with a flower arrangement.
What does it cost?
Package deal 2 costs 3,650 marks.
Oh God!
For an additional charge you can have
a natural coffin made of flax
and sealed with potato starch
together with environmentally friendly
clothing which is 100% biodegradable.
My condolences, Mr. Nebel.
Well? Well?
Rested up?
Coffee?
What did you do the whole day,
yesterday?
Why didn't you call a doctor?
I couldn't.
Mr. Teichert,
from the funeral... Institution.
Right.
Say, do you know where Dad...
put the papers for his...
damn it... what's-it-called?
Funeral insurance policy.
Right. Where he kept it?
No, I don't.
He was always so careful about
putting things away. Help me, damn it!
We always recommend our pre-funeral
policy. Death can hit us at anytime.
Right, Mr. Nebel?
You don't need the policy at once.
Just tell me when we should pick up
your deceased father.
I don't know. I'd say, as soon
as possible, before it starts to...
you know what I mean.
It's no problem in winter.
But according to the death certificate
it should be today.
That'd be better.
Ms. Nebel, I'll make arrangements
for this afternoon.
Does that suit you?
Sure...
Actually I have to work.
Can you be here, Jan?
Yeah.
And what if I can't find the policy?
We'll take care of it, Ms. Nebel.
See you this afternoon.
Did you hurt yourself?
Come on.
It's OK. It happens sometimes.
Careful!
Did you see how he hit that bar?
Like Ronnie Baudenbach. Remember?
Ronnie the giant,
who bumped into everything.
You had a thing with him.
With Ronnie? How did you get that idea?
You had a thing with everybody.
Nonsense.
At least not with Ronnie.
He was too stupid for me.
You got a kleenex?
That's it. Now it's wrecked,
our wonderful family.
Don't act like you give a damn.
You can't stand being
from such a shitty family, can you?
And I'm no better, am I?
I don't know. We never talk about it.
Except about money. Right.
Did you ever notice
you don't resemble Dad at all?
How d'you mean that?
Like I said.
You look even less like him.
Thank God.
That fucking insurance policy
must be somewhere.
I can move in here. What?
I can move in. The rent's OK,
and I already have a roommate.
That's kind of perverse. You have to
redecorate to air out the family stench.
Sorry, Dad, but it's true.
What should I tell Jenni?
Don't act like she's lost without you!
When you're gone she and Harry are pals!
Know what we have to do?
Hello, Mom. It's Jan... Yeah,
I know I haven't called in a while.
Listen to me a second...
We're at Dad's place...
Listen to me!
Wait a second! Listen to me.
OK, you have a headache,
but can't you listen to me?
Great. You did it again.
She never listens. She never has.
And now the shit's in my lap.
If that's your only problem!
Just shut up and listen!
Of course.
Hello? Are you still there?
Sure.
Sorry, I thought it was my mother.
Am I bothering you?
Not at all. Where'd you suddenly go?
Suddenly? I held your hand all night.
All night?
That's not so bad for our first night.
Wasn't it spooky for you?
No. What's your father up to?
Trouble. He's still here.
They're picking him up this afternoon.
I have a surprise.
Like yesterday?
I faint, and you put me to bed.
No, something else. I've to get going.
When are we gonna meet?
It's a surprise.
I'll get in touch. Bye.
You scared me.
Sorry, I'm too early.
Sorry, it isn't grounded properly.
It happens all the time.
Like real life.
It's full of shocks.
You got a nice place here.
Yeah. But not much longer.
We're being thrown out.
The old owners from the West
have reappeared.
You know, the offspring of Nazis
who stole it from the Jews.
They come here with their fancy
briefcases and teak portable phones,
playing Monopoly.
I'm here till I find a better place,
but I feel sorry for the Spree Teddies.
When do you have to go?
The end of the month.
A fine start to the New Year.
Is that you? Yeah.
I was just a little sprout here.
Look at the style.
This was the first single recorded by
the legendary BUDDY AND THE PLAYBOYS.
But it was the last single, too.
We had over 500 copies made
at our own expense
and ended up giving most of them away.
Is this your wife?
Was.
Come on, we have to find a job.
You like to take baths, huh?
Yeah, but I've only got a shower.
I got conned into buying this stuff,
but I've only sold two boxes...
and that was in 1985.
I might have an apartment for you.
With a bathtub.
You really want to live
with an old fart like me?
You're only as old as you feel.
I don't know.
You think you should move back?
You can change the wall color,
but you can't change the memories.
Maybe that's good.
OK, let's pick up a pocket money.
I thought you found a job for us.
That's later.
First we'll win ourselves 1,000 marks.
How? Are we gonna tell jokes in there?
Don't worry. I'll take care of it.
They only show it if you act like
an idiot.
Do I look like an idiot?
Do I look like an idiot?
Excuse me, do you know how this works?
Yeah. Have you got five marks?
No, not for me. You put it in the box
and then you have 1 minute
to make funny things.
Jokes, sing, Karaoke.
Stand still.
She has a different problem.
Problima, yes. I search someone.
Don't we all?
No, I mean...
I search my brother. Alexis.
This is not the right TV-station!
PLEASE, CALL HOME. You must go to the
PLEASE, CALL HOME-Show.
You understand?
Yes, PLEASE, CALL HOME-Show. Thank you.
You think they'll show your clip?
The 1,000 marks are ours.
To our new home! Cheers!
Dorita, you're a sweetie.
I know, Buddy.
OK, let's go get a really good job.
Chalk is either green or blue.
But in Belgium!
Well, look here.
The king of rock 'n' roll.
Dorita! A round on me!
Hey, Buddy. Mr. Know-it-all.
Do they have
red chalk for pool? No idea.
They only have red chalk in Belgium.
Bullshit!
The only thing that's red in Belgium
is ketchup on fries.
How is it going?
Take a look. Too cold to work.
And fucking Theo is clobbering us.
No quickie jobs in sight.
Nope.
Let's go. No, wait.
Listen, we have a dry spell.
We're just in between jobs.
Really? Welcome to the club! Theo!
You must have something,
or you wouldn't be in such a good mood.
Hey, I'm not gonna steal your jobs!
Buddy, we're no employment agency.
You know how the scaffolding trade.
Loads of Poles, you're an old man!
I've been waiting forever!
Sorry, I couldn't get here faster.
My sales show is in 5 minutes.
Say, how are you?
The funeral guys are upstairs
with the coffin and all.
Somebody was here for you,
Vera or something. And?
Who was that?
My sister.
Come on, Buddy!
Slowly, slowly.
Be careful. There's a step!
Stop. We have to back up.
Be careful!
Watch out, please!
Your father?
Sorry, I didn't know.
I thought he'd died a while ago.
It's OK. You can get by.
Well, it might work
if we tip the coffin a bit.
A bit to the left!
No, this can't be true.
We'll jerk it a bit.
Absolutely not! It's brand new.
Don't worry, we'll manage it.
A bit to the left.
Ready, go!
I knew it would happen!
Do you know how much it cost?
It's only a little scratch.
Some polish and it'll be fine.
That was you! It's your coffin!
It's my father's coffin.
This is a cabinet from SHELVES'R'US.
Do you know what it cost?
Hey! Someone dies, and you get pissed
off about a fucking piece of furniture!
You ought to be ashamed of yourself!
You could've bought a smaller one!
The coffin would've passed easy!
But no, you couldn't get enough!
Hello. Anyone here?
Nice room.
Yours if you like.
Is this where your father died?
No, in the kitchen while watching TV.
And they say
TV doesn't damage your health.
My father always sat her watching TV,
smoking. The ashes fell on the table.
See the burn marks?
A life like that's not so hot.
And before you know it, it's over.
Like falling off a scaffolding, cancer,
a heart attack, Aids, alcohol...
My address book is turning
into a graveyard, and I'm only 49.
I kept waiting for my life to get
started, but it just went on and on.
The air becomes thinner,
and every day becomes so precious.
Here you are.
Most people just blabber on about
their lives and their big plans,
and suddenly, they're gone.
And what's left? Burn marks.
My father had no plans left.
How can you be so sure? Maybe he didn't
have anyone to discuss them with.
Here's to us! And to the apartment!
And to the hope we don't die alone!
This used to be my room.
Press it.
Excuse me, we're conducting a survey.
Who is Jan Nebel?
I don't know. Maybe a singer.
I mean, I listen to a lot of music,
but I don't know who he is.
Isn't he an astronaut?
Jan Nebel? A designer or something?
That's how it sounds... Jan Nebel?
Who is Jan Nebel?
Speak no Germany.
Who? Jan Nebel.
Never heard of him.
See, nobody knows who Jan Nebel is,
but I know. And if you want to hear
this, then I'll see you tonight.
Sorry, I can't think of anything.
You must know some song.
We won't laugh either.
OK,
but I don't know if I can get it right.
I need a few glasses.
OK, here goes.
Where are we going?
I don't know.
If you like we can go that-a-way.
Or that-a-way.
Where are we going now?
I don't know.
You wanna go home?
And you?
Oh no.
Good evening. Good evening.
Room 207, please.
Here you are.
Is there a message for us?
No. Thank you.
Have a nice evening.
It's vacant like I said.
You taste good.
Like vodka.
Like sex.
Sorry.
There's something
I have to talk to you about.
You want to wait till you're married.
You're married and have five kids.
You're gay.
You only do it with blondes.
You're HIV-positive.
You're HIV-positive?
No. That is, I don't know.
What d'you mean?
I don't know. Maybe.
How d'you mean that?
It was just a short affair.
And?
Maybe she got it from her boyfriend.
But she isn't sure.
Did you get yourself tested? Sure.
Well?
I get the results next week.
Don't worry so much about it.
Do you have an ubberay?
What? Do you have a rubber?
No.
I didn't know we'd end up in a hotel.
Maybe it's better this way.
What? We'll take it slowly,
step by step.
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
Sorry.
Sorry.
Vera?
Good morning!
Breakfast.
Mail, newspaper, glasses.
Thank you.
No, you have to sign here.
For the bill.
What bill?
Your bill.
Yeah, sure.
"Hello, Nebel!
Lots of kisses from Vera!"
Bye.
We'll see you.
Hello? Hello, is Moni there?
Who's calling? I'm a colleague.
Oh, a colleague.
From the slaughterhouse.
Moni isn't here... She moved out.
Where can I find her?
I'd like to know myself.
She ran away without leaving an address.
No address. OK, thanks.
What do you want if I may ask?
Is it anything important?
No, nothing important.
How's she doing?
Ask an easier question.
I don't know how she's doing.
No? No, I don't.
Yeah... OK.
Bye. Bye.
Earth to earth... ashes to ashes...
...and dust to dust.
Our Father who art in heaven...
A little bit higher on the right.
Only on the right.
On the right... That's good.
Ms. Kruse.
Damn thing isn't waterproof! "Good
up to 100 meters underwater!" Bullshit.
Pay attention to the road.
What if Grandpa was still alive
and breathing?
There were bubbles.
Don't worry, honey. Grandpa was dead.
And if not, he's drowned by now.
We almost drowned!
Right as we get in the car, it stops!
Stop griping?
I take off from work, spend the whole day
in your monsoon, and you bitch at me!
Shut up, Harry!
Lilo! You didn't get that from me!
I got more from you than I like!
We aren't always like this.
But almost always.
Watch out!
Man oh man! Women and traffic!
Hey! I know her!
Hey, is everything alright?
Yes, I'm OK.
PLEASE, CALL HOME-Show?
Yes!
You're looking for your brother.
Is everything really OK?
Yes?
Come on.
Come in.
Hi. Hello.
That's Alexis' little sister.
She needs a bed, she's still looking
for her brother and she's broke.
Aren't we all?
This is the bottle that ruined us.
Why? It was our last ten marks.
I'm broke, too.
Don't you make any money
at your concerts?
Forget it. Otherwise I wouldn't have
to sing in the streets.
By the way, Jan.
I have a surprise for you.
A job advertising for a supermarket.
Super! Better than nothing.
Shit.
I have a present for us.
I can't find it.
I lied to you at the hotel.
I didn't get tested for Aids yet.
Why not?
I didn't feel like it.
What?
I'm scared.
You're kidding.
We'll go there tomorrow.
Are you OK, Buddy?
Yes, yes, yes, I'm OK.
I don't know, I'm OK.
I'm OK.
Wait a minute! What?
Listen.
Jenni, don't be so hard on me.
I have to try to live alone.
Why? Everyone has to someday.
Not me. Yes. You, too.
Because you left.
I live in another street.
I can visit you every day.
All because of that stupid cow!
You're wrong!
I'm right!
I don't care if you go!
And this can go, too!
I can't help it
if you have such a shitty mother!
Go away! Go away!
Jenni, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
Come on and help me!
You see what I have to do!
We'll put that sack in last!
Let's put the boxes in first!
You can put the soft stuff
in anywhere!
Come on, let me do it!
Come on, let's leave.
You're kidding.
It's taking ages,
and I'll be late for my new job.
You have two hours. You're not really
serious about leaving, are you?
This is a nightmare!
You can't keep running
from important things!
What d'you mean?
Think of your fine.
You of all people to remind me!
What about Jenni?
What about her?
I went to see her today.
What a hero you are!
Why all the questions? Tell me why you
always run off. You and your secrets.
I don't have secrets.
Oh yeah? We screw,
but I don't even know where you live!
I can't even call you!
I don't have a phone.
Hello, Ms. Kruse.
Hello.
Where do you know him from?
How should I know?
Put that thing on.
And now hop!
The kids love it. Vamos!
Very funny!
I have to go. Bye.
Will I see you tonight?
Maybe.
No maybes.
Probably. No probablies either!
Hello.
Are you the new kiddy entertainer?
And you?
I'm in hardware.
He's in toiletries. Cosmetics.
Hi, guys.
How's the job? OK.
Not so hot in this cold weather?
Familiar with this? No.
Kids are nuts about them.
It's good.
Great! You can buy 'em. How many?
One thousand.
One thousand for 1,000 marks?
The guy said
we could sell them
for ten marks a piece.
I could easily pay my fine.
I doubt it.
I bet Kristina and I hit at least
30 Greek restaurants today.
Why?
Her brother's a chef.
What they class "a chef" in Greece.
The two of you?
She couldn't go alone.
She doesn't understand German.
Understand everything.
Were you expecting me?
Yeah, why?
It's starting to feel
like a fucked up marriage! What?
Thank you!
Thank you! Wait a minute!
Let me introduce tonight's jury.
We have our Steglitz rock-a-baby,
LADY MADONNA!
And we have
JERRY LEE LEHMANN,
the piano legend from Friedrichshain!
Jerry Lee Lehmann.
And last but not least,
Berlin's Teddy Bear number one,
BUDDY THE ONLY HOLLY!
Hi, how are you?
OK.
Hello, you Rockers!
Hello, you Rollers! Yeah!
Welcome to the
21st Spree Teddy Dance Convention!
I'm glad you could all come today,
because it's our anniversary,
our 25th year. But unfortunately
it's probably our last,
because as most of you know,
we're being thrown out.
I don't know what'll become
of the Teddies. What can I say?
Before we get all teary-eyed
I'd like to say
that we have an international
rock'n'roll fan here with us tonight.
She's come all the way from Greece
to celebrate with us!
Let's give a nice big Berlin-Welcome to
the one and only Kristina Papagapoulus!
Kristina, come on!
Shit! My things are all messed up!
It's no big deal.
Don't act like such a princess!
Well, let me...
I'm sorry.
You think we're right for each other?
I don't know. I guess so.
Either you know it right away or never!
Yeah! Do you know?
No.
So what now?
I can't fix up your life. You have to
do it yourself. You don't even know me.
How do you know you can trust me?
I don't trust you.
Why not?
You do things I don't understand.
Like what?
What you do, how you live.
You don't know how I live.
Right.
Then ask me!
Alright. What do you do
when we're not together?
And how can I trust you?
You don't even trust yourself.
Find out for yourself.
But not tonight.
Morning. Coffee?
Aspirini?
Six.
Thank you.
Sorry to bother you. I'm Markus.
I have Aids,
and I don't have long to live.
My parents have disowned me, because
they're afraid of being infected.
I'm unemployed and homeless.
I don't want to become a criminal.
I'm asking for your support,
so I can spend the rest of my days
in peace and quiet.
Thank you for listening.
Hello, Moni.
How... how are you doing?
Hello, would you like a balloon?
Why are you so sad?
I'm not sad.
But you don't look very happy.
Can't anybody let me be
the way I want to be?
Come on, Jenni!
If she made it,
they've got to take me, as well.
The knife suits her better than you.
Glazed dog shit
is no chocolate pudding!
How many do they show?
They always show three.
1,000 marks! Here we come!
Tomato salad...
I don't believe it!
Did you do a belly dance, Buddy?
I disappeared up my own asshole!
Hey there!
Your Vera.
Hello. Hi.
A small donation.
The tomato salad.
Shit. You saw it. How embarrassing.
Why? I thought it was good. But Buddy
was disappointed. He tried, too.
Really?
Is everything OK?
Yeah, why?
You look tired.
Yes, I am.
Won't you tell me where you were?
Today? Oh, everywhere.
Yeah? Like where?
Like I picked up your money.
I have to pay my debts.
Don't start that again.
I don't understand you.
And I don't understand you either.
It all takes time.
It's more complicated than you think.
You make it complicated!
It is complicated!
What's wrong with you?
I can leave if you want. Should I?
No, but at least
you could stay a while.
Hey.
I am staying.
Here, touch me.
It's all real.
Just hold me tight.
Hey.
What's wrong? Aren't you feeling well?
Hey, what's wrong?
Julian, I'm going to leave you.
I will be gone tonight.
I wanted to tell you last night,
but you were in such a bad mood...
And I didn't have the guts.
Is there someone else?
And I thought we were different.
You were pregnant?
Are you nuts?
Why are you spying on me?
I guess I was wrong.
Thanks.
Buddy!
What do you want?
Can you fill in for me at work?
Yeah, I'll do it.
I don't understand you.
Still nothing.
Look who we have here instead.
What are you doing here?
Your sister dropped her here.
You're a daddy for 3 weeks.
She took off for Mallorca
with her night watchman lover.
Come on. Get this thing off me fast!
At last! Look out! Trouble!
The guy with the 1,000 birds? Yeah.
Are you nuts?
You can't just send this Bonanza Hoss!
Sorry,
it was an emergency. Emergency!
Know how many guys want this job!
Didn't I see you last night on TV?
In that... 1,000 MARK SHOW.
You're a real lucky devil!
You're lucky! You missed it last night.
1,000 marks!
Great!
My name is Hoffmann.
Great. I turned on the TV...
Thank you.
Hey, come back here!
Shit!
Vera!
Vera! Vera!
What do you want?
I want you to listen.
I'm listening.
What's between you and that piano guy?
I just some kind of fun for you?
Why do you run around town at night?
Why do you sponge off stupid buffets
and stay with me and my dead father,
but you run off
when we're having a good time?
OK, tell me your story,
and I'll tell you mine.
Jan, I'm cold.
I am, too.
Closing time!
Hello. Hey.
No luck?
We're closing early, anyway.
Jan and I have a big date.
Where?
Hi. Hello.
Stay outside! You can't just walk in!
You see what's going on here!
We just wanted to get a test result.
HIV? Your name?
Nebel. Nebel.
Have a seat. I'll get it.
It'll take a moment.
Subtitles: VICOMEDIA 04/2001
1st column, move in!
Grab the stone-throwers!
What's wrong?
What's wrong with you, huh?
Don't you like it?
I can't right now, Sylvia.
I'm sorry. I just can't.
You're right.
That's too bad.
Maybe another time, OK?
Where's the toilet?
Sylvia, it's sharp!
Do they squeak when you...
No, they're already dead.
Jan?
It's nothing. Forget it.
Is everything alright?
Watch out!
They're cops!
What? Shit, I'm sorry!
I didn't know!
Shit!
Let's get out of here!
This is an illegal demonstration!
Please, clear the street immediately!
Shit!
You know them?
No.
Can we go have a cup of coffee
when this is over?
Good evening. Sorry to bother you,
but my brother and I...
Let's try upstairs.
Hi. Are you gangsters?
Yeah, Catwoman and Joker.
Can we come in?
How about it?
For 10 marks.
OK. Here.
I don't believe it.
Max, what are you doing?
Nothing.
Get to bed! It's mattress duty time!
CANNIBAL HOLOCAUST.
Right. Keep going.
My dad's in training.
MAN-EATER TWO! No, uhm...
ZOMBIE FLESH EATERS.
Right. Keep going.
NIGHT OF THE RIDING ZOMBIES.
NIGHT OF THE SCREAMING CORPSES.
You always mix them up.
THE FOG.
Right. Keep going.
Shit! What do we do now?
What's going on, Max?
CHILD'S PLAY.
Part 2.
I don't believe it!
You're still not in bed!
Who rang? Let's go! Hit the sack!
I don't know.
May we come in?
What do you want? Rudy, come here!
What's going on here?
We're looking for two suspects.
Great, but you got the wrong place!
So, on your way.
There's the door.
What was that?
Who's that?
You're the one who should know!
Uschi, who's that?
No idea.
You know him?
No.
Who's that?
My sister.
Pardon me.
Get out of there, right now!
What did I do?
Shut up!
And who's going to pay for our shower?
So what's this?
A butcher knife.
A butcher knife, huh?
For butchering pigs?
Yeah, pigs, bulls,
whatever comes along.
Did you call us "pigs"?
No, I mean pigs and bulls...
For violation of ? 113/1,
resisting arrest,
? 125/1 and 2, breach of the peace,
with ? 223, grievous bodily harm,
you are sentenced to a fine
of 90 x 50 marks.
The amount of 4,500 marks
is payable within 2 weeks.
If desired, you can pay in installments.
If you fail to make your payments
you will be sentenced to 90 days,
one day of which has been served.
All trial costs are charged
to the defendant.
Mr. Nebel, do you accept your sentence?
2 weeks in Egypt for as little
as 999 marks. Cairo, the pyramids,
Abu What-do-you-call-it...
And get shot by mullahs?
No, thanks, Lilo. I'll stay here.
What happened to you?
Hey, I asked you a question!
I played KIDDIE KARAOKE.
Put on some tights,
so you don't catch a cold.
And careful with the neglig?e.
Yes.
And don't eat all that sweet stuff.
It'll ruin your teeth and your brain.
But I'm hungry!
Then wait till dinner.
I don't like those stupid steaks!
Stupid steaks!
Why do you think meat is so expensive?
It makes you smart and strong.
That's stupid.
It's not stupid! Look around at school.
Today's carrot chewers
are tomorrow's welfare cases.
She doesn't know what you mean.
She ought to learn young.
Or you wanna be a cleaning lady?
No, a night watchman.
They're called security guards!
OK.
Don't be so rude to Harry!
And ask if you want something!
Can I have some coke?
What's the magic word?
Asshole!
Did she say "asshole"?
Hi, Jan! Where you been?
Jenni. Jenni!
Turn the music down!
You're back again, huh?
An out-of-town game?
Dad called up twice about chess.
Where were you?
Sylvia must have worn him out.
My God!
She really gave it to you.
Am I right or am I right?
I was in jail.
And where's the meat?
No meat today.
You gotta bring us some
to pay for Lilo's boarding house.
Leave him alone.
Your brother thinks he's
the fucking emperor of China.
What did he say? He was in jail?
Something like that.
"Knight moves to D3.
Yours, Dad."
Hello, Jan.
Hello, Jenni.
We wanted to play Tarzan and Jenni.
Tarzan is tired today.
Where were you so long?
I was waiting for you.
I'll tell you some other time, OK?
I don't want you to move out.
Come on, don't start that again.
I can't stay in this closet forever.
I've been here much too long.
Then move into my room...
I'm beat,
and I have to go to work soon.
But we didn't do our workout yet.
You said we have to do it everyday.
OK, but only 10 today.
15.
OK, 12.
We agreed on a week.
It's no fitness center for poor people!
I need reliable people!
I've always been reliable.
Yesterday all hell broke loose,
and where was Mr. Universe?
That has to be done by 6.30.
I was in jail. I was on my way here.
Go cry on your hairdresser's shoulder!
He gets paid for it!
Here you get paid
for the pounds on the scale!
One of those jerks from the job center!
What do you think you're doing?
"Dances with Pigs?"
Now get to work! Or do you
two sweethearts have other plans?
Shit! Those guys again!
Put your caps on! Quit smoking!
Clean everything up, spick and span!
And you take over the clown's work!
Come on, sweetie. Go get Mommy.
You can sing it to me at home.
Do we get compensation for this?
I don't know what the bell says.
Perhaps "ding-a-ling".
OK..."ding-dong".
I'm Buddy.
I'm Jan.
Does he always take so long?
Yes.
Go get Mommy, and don't hang up again.
When did you get here today?
Hey, are you listening?
When did you get here?
11:30.
You followed me around for 1/2 hour.
That's 7 hours.
That makes 95 marks.
Sweetie, you always have to put
the receiver next to the phone.
I've told you that so often.
Tell Mommy to hurry up.
But it's really the last stanza, OK?
Next week you can stay home.
Why?
Because I don't need you.
But I thought...
You thought wrong!
Now, show me your bag.
Does your bag need a tampon?
A rooster says "kickerikee".
A German rooster doesn't say
"cock-a-doodle-doo". Go and get Mommy.
This is really the very last stanza.
And you worked...
7,5 hours. That makes 101.25.
Hey, the clown can add.
Listen here, smart ass.
Call me a clown once more, and I'll
knock your chompers to your asshole!
You got it? And you know
where to stick the small change!
You're no professional thief, are you?
More like a bloody beginner.
I owe you a favor.
You have an apartment for me?
I'm looking for one myself.
What's in there? Filets?
Be happy you lost that job.
Can I buy you a coffee?
It's on me.
Thank you.
All that blood and guts is no good.
Scaffolding's the game.
It's good money. You're in good shape.
You should look into it.
And why are you here?
Hard times, you know.
President of the Spree Teddy Club.
Honorary president.
Write down your number.
On Monday I'll get a job
for both of us.
She just killed her husband.
She wants you to help
get rid of the body.
Go on over there.
I'll cover you.
Hello, Moni. Hello.
Long time no see.
Got a steady job here again?
No, it was just a quickie.
This is for St. Nicholas' Day.
Thanks.
Are you alright?
I'm fine. I just wanted to say hi.
Is something wrong?
No, I'm OK.
Just a bit tired.
I gotta go.
Wait a sec. There's something...
Don't tell me you're pregnant.
That'd be great.
Then what's wrong?
You remember Didi?
Your part time fianc??
He infected himself with Aids.
I mean HIV.
Oh God! When? No idea.
It was a routine kidney test.
Maybe he's had it for ages.
Shit. And you?
I don't know.
I just found out yesterday.
And what about me?
No idea. You gotta get tested.
Sorry, Jan.
You dare to insult a Klingon!
Now you must die!
Stop it, please! I want to go home!
Only your blood can set you free!
What are you doing?
Flow blood, flow!
Redeem this scum from its pitiful life!
Hey!
You shouldn't go over there.
Those guys are punks.
I want more mayonnaise.
What were you doing there anyway?
Mom told me to play outside.
Is she having one of her stupid
shopping parties? Forget it.
Do you know what day it is today?
St. Nicholas' Day.
And what did we have planned?
I thought you'd forgotten.
What am I getting for Christmas?
What do you want?
I can't say it out loud.
Then whisper in my ear. Is that your daddy?
Yes. Jenni!
And is your daddy always a good boy?
Yes, very good.
Did he beat up some policemen?
I don't know.
Did he wreck somebody's bathroom?
I don't believe it. Hello.
Hello, Joker.
Vera!
Just a minute! I'll be right there!
Nice to see you.
Can you wait a minute?
Who's that?
I don't really know her.
I may be only 7, but I'm not stupid.
I don't even know her name.
Her name is Vera! Put me down.
What's wrong?
Nothing. I want to get down.
Your little girl's sweet.
She's my sister's girl.
So what happened two other night?
Nothing special. A night in jail
and a little fine.
And all my fault?
Exactly. You got 41/2 thousand?
4,500? Oh, shit!
I lost my job, too.
I'm really sorry.
Can I invite you to dinner?
Where? At the next greasy spoon?
No, really exquisite with all
the trimmings. Tomorrow evening?
How about it? OK, and where?
Sch?nhauser Subway Station, at 7.
OK.
Hallo. Hallo.
How are you doing?
OK.
And how's it going in there?
Alright.
Yeah, I have to go back in there. Bye.
What's up? Last delivery!
Are you crazy?
If she stayed away all night
you'd be the last to notice!
Who're you talking about?
Jenni! But what do you care!
She isn't your brat! You scumbag!
Sure, they tried to kill you.
Yeah, they cut my arm with a knife.
I can't see a thing.
They were just pretending.
I didn't ask you! And I'm not gonna
take anymore of your crap...
Shit!
That's what happens!
You'll never make it.
I was the
German mashed potato golf champ.
Not bad.
ZOMBIE FLESH EATER.
ZOMBIE FLESH EATERS.
But we'll accept that one, won't we?
What'll they think of next?
And now the final stretch...
Number 8.
May I hear it again?
Shall we let him hear it again?
Yes, we shall.
THE NIGHT OF THE RIDING ZOMBIES?
THE NIGHT OF THE SCREAMING CORPSES.
That's too bad!
THE NIGHT OF THE SCREAMING CORPSES.
That's the kind of shit he knows.
It's typical.
I have to go.
It's the PLUS-TV TALENT BOX.
So, get up, couch-potatoes.
Every clip we broadcast gets 1,000 marks.
What's wrong? What d'you mean?
Don't be a jerk.
Something's wrong with you.
Can you lend me some money?
How much? 1,000 marks.
Where do I get
1,000 marks? I thought...
I thought... Am I Rockefeller?
Ask Dad.
Oh, he called up about your chess game.
I bet he has some money,
considering how little he spends.
What do you need it for anyway?
It's not important.
Dad?
Dad?
This is the answering machine of
Lilo Nebel and her stupid friend Harry.
Stop it, Jenni. It's me.
Hi, Jan. I was just pretending.
Because of that bad man
who calls up kids when they're alone.
Jenni, I have to talk to Lilo.
Mommy isn't here.
The man tells kids to stick a nail
in the socket...
OK, I'll call up later.
Or to drop a hair drier in the tub.
And for the back with its smaller bones
I use the poultry shears.
Dad?
Only the liver isn't right in this
recipe. So I'll fry it for myself.
Emergency ward. May I help you?
I need a doctor.
Is it an emergency? Not exactly.
It's for my father.
Please, wait a minute.
Shit!
Shit!
Hey, wait! Where are you going?
Come here, Mister.
Yes, you. Come here!
The concert will be nice.
Sorry, I'm late.
It's OK. I'm always late, too.
What were you doing in there?
It was cold, and he had cigarettes.
What are you laughing about?
You walk funny.
What's so funny about how I walk?
Well, it's kind of macho-like.
Macho-like?
Are you dressed for the opera?
Not exactly. You'll see.
You look pretty wiped out.
Did something happen?
Wait a minute. This will distract
everyone from your outfit.
So this will knock 'em out?
It looks alright on you.
Hello.
Where do you
know him from? I don't.
But he'll himself ask how he knows me.
Look, I ordered all this for you.
It isn't well thought out.
There's no vision...
You can't say that!
Excuse me. At last! Thanks.
What isn't well thought out?
Forget it.
Ladies and gentlemen, the President of
the German Headache and Migraine Society,
Prof. Sengwein.
As you know,
I'm not a man of many words.
Thank you for making this convention
a success. Enjoy yourselves.
I don't belong here.
I bet it's delicious.
Do you know anybody here?
No.
Excuse me. What's your name?
Jan.
Jan what?
Jan Nebel. Jan Nebel?
Is that a pseudonym?
Hey, Nebel! Is everything OK?
Want to go to the hospital?
Or to an emergency doctor?
But you have to lie down somewhere?
Can't I just stay here?
It depends how long our budget lasts.
Take it easy.
As long as he doesn't puke.
These are great.
I almost got myself a kebab.
Where are we headed... roughly?
You live in Kreuzberg, don't you?
Kreuzberg, like I said.
Hello.
Vera! Wait!
Thanks a lot. No problem.
How about lobster next time?
Have fun.
Bye.
So this is where you live?
Like some tea?
Come here.
Oh, hello!
Vera!
Hey there.
Vera, wait a minute!
I just wanted to make some tea.
What's up?
Is something wrong?
Why are we here?
I thought I'd bring you home.
You're totally beat, aren't you?
I don't live here anymore.
But your parents do.
My father does.
And this is your old room?
And where's your father?
My father's, well, he is dead.
I thought he lived here.
Yes, he does, but not anymore,
because he's dead.
Since when?
Since today.
You're kidding.
It's true. He's sitting in the kitchen.
What d'you mean?
He's in the kitchen.
Dead. The way I found him.
In the kitchen? I don't believe it.
It's true!
What did he die of?
I don't know. Maybe from being alone.
Did you call a doctor?
Well, I tried,
but then I remembered our date.
It's not so great to leave your dead
father hanging around in the kitchen,
but we'd have missed each other
otherwise.
Do you have a cigarette?
Maybe we should put him in his bed.
Somehow I imagined our first date
would be different.
Did you like your father?
I don't know. As a kid I hated him.
I know what you mean.
And how did you two get along?
We didn't get along when I lived here.
We were always arguing.
Later on we played chess by phone.
I came by now and again,
but only because I felt sorry for him.
How do you mean that?
I felt sorry for him. That's all.
Did you tell your sister yet?
I tried, but she wasn't there.
Is everything OK?
Yeah, I'm OK.
That fucking machine again!
Lilo, it's me, Jan.
Dad is dead.
For a burial
I recommend our package deal 2:
A pure pine coffin with hand carvings.
The inner lining is made of rayon
as well as the decor.
This comes with a flower arrangement.
What does it cost?
Package deal 2 costs 3,650 marks.
Oh God!
For an additional charge you can have
a natural coffin made of flax
and sealed with potato starch
together with environmentally friendly
clothing which is 100% biodegradable.
My condolences, Mr. Nebel.
Well? Well?
Rested up?
Coffee?
What did you do the whole day,
yesterday?
Why didn't you call a doctor?
I couldn't.
Mr. Teichert,
from the funeral... Institution.
Right.
Say, do you know where Dad...
put the papers for his...
damn it... what's-it-called?
Funeral insurance policy.
Right. Where he kept it?
No, I don't.
He was always so careful about
putting things away. Help me, damn it!
We always recommend our pre-funeral
policy. Death can hit us at anytime.
Right, Mr. Nebel?
You don't need the policy at once.
Just tell me when we should pick up
your deceased father.
I don't know. I'd say, as soon
as possible, before it starts to...
you know what I mean.
It's no problem in winter.
But according to the death certificate
it should be today.
That'd be better.
Ms. Nebel, I'll make arrangements
for this afternoon.
Does that suit you?
Sure...
Actually I have to work.
Can you be here, Jan?
Yeah.
And what if I can't find the policy?
We'll take care of it, Ms. Nebel.
See you this afternoon.
Did you hurt yourself?
Come on.
It's OK. It happens sometimes.
Careful!
Did you see how he hit that bar?
Like Ronnie Baudenbach. Remember?
Ronnie the giant,
who bumped into everything.
You had a thing with him.
With Ronnie? How did you get that idea?
You had a thing with everybody.
Nonsense.
At least not with Ronnie.
He was too stupid for me.
You got a kleenex?
That's it. Now it's wrecked,
our wonderful family.
Don't act like you give a damn.
You can't stand being
from such a shitty family, can you?
And I'm no better, am I?
I don't know. We never talk about it.
Except about money. Right.
Did you ever notice
you don't resemble Dad at all?
How d'you mean that?
Like I said.
You look even less like him.
Thank God.
That fucking insurance policy
must be somewhere.
I can move in here. What?
I can move in. The rent's OK,
and I already have a roommate.
That's kind of perverse. You have to
redecorate to air out the family stench.
Sorry, Dad, but it's true.
What should I tell Jenni?
Don't act like she's lost without you!
When you're gone she and Harry are pals!
Know what we have to do?
Hello, Mom. It's Jan... Yeah,
I know I haven't called in a while.
Listen to me a second...
We're at Dad's place...
Listen to me!
Wait a second! Listen to me.
OK, you have a headache,
but can't you listen to me?
Great. You did it again.
She never listens. She never has.
And now the shit's in my lap.
If that's your only problem!
Just shut up and listen!
Of course.
Hello? Are you still there?
Sure.
Sorry, I thought it was my mother.
Am I bothering you?
Not at all. Where'd you suddenly go?
Suddenly? I held your hand all night.
All night?
That's not so bad for our first night.
Wasn't it spooky for you?
No. What's your father up to?
Trouble. He's still here.
They're picking him up this afternoon.
I have a surprise.
Like yesterday?
I faint, and you put me to bed.
No, something else. I've to get going.
When are we gonna meet?
It's a surprise.
I'll get in touch. Bye.
You scared me.
Sorry, I'm too early.
Sorry, it isn't grounded properly.
It happens all the time.
Like real life.
It's full of shocks.
You got a nice place here.
Yeah. But not much longer.
We're being thrown out.
The old owners from the West
have reappeared.
You know, the offspring of Nazis
who stole it from the Jews.
They come here with their fancy
briefcases and teak portable phones,
playing Monopoly.
I'm here till I find a better place,
but I feel sorry for the Spree Teddies.
When do you have to go?
The end of the month.
A fine start to the New Year.
Is that you? Yeah.
I was just a little sprout here.
Look at the style.
This was the first single recorded by
the legendary BUDDY AND THE PLAYBOYS.
But it was the last single, too.
We had over 500 copies made
at our own expense
and ended up giving most of them away.
Is this your wife?
Was.
Come on, we have to find a job.
You like to take baths, huh?
Yeah, but I've only got a shower.
I got conned into buying this stuff,
but I've only sold two boxes...
and that was in 1985.
I might have an apartment for you.
With a bathtub.
You really want to live
with an old fart like me?
You're only as old as you feel.
I don't know.
You think you should move back?
You can change the wall color,
but you can't change the memories.
Maybe that's good.
OK, let's pick up a pocket money.
I thought you found a job for us.
That's later.
First we'll win ourselves 1,000 marks.
How? Are we gonna tell jokes in there?
Don't worry. I'll take care of it.
They only show it if you act like
an idiot.
Do I look like an idiot?
Do I look like an idiot?
Excuse me, do you know how this works?
Yeah. Have you got five marks?
No, not for me. You put it in the box
and then you have 1 minute
to make funny things.
Jokes, sing, Karaoke.
Stand still.
She has a different problem.
Problima, yes. I search someone.
Don't we all?
No, I mean...
I search my brother. Alexis.
This is not the right TV-station!
PLEASE, CALL HOME. You must go to the
PLEASE, CALL HOME-Show.
You understand?
Yes, PLEASE, CALL HOME-Show. Thank you.
You think they'll show your clip?
The 1,000 marks are ours.
To our new home! Cheers!
Dorita, you're a sweetie.
I know, Buddy.
OK, let's go get a really good job.
Chalk is either green or blue.
But in Belgium!
Well, look here.
The king of rock 'n' roll.
Dorita! A round on me!
Hey, Buddy. Mr. Know-it-all.
Do they have
red chalk for pool? No idea.
They only have red chalk in Belgium.
Bullshit!
The only thing that's red in Belgium
is ketchup on fries.
How is it going?
Take a look. Too cold to work.
And fucking Theo is clobbering us.
No quickie jobs in sight.
Nope.
Let's go. No, wait.
Listen, we have a dry spell.
We're just in between jobs.
Really? Welcome to the club! Theo!
You must have something,
or you wouldn't be in such a good mood.
Hey, I'm not gonna steal your jobs!
Buddy, we're no employment agency.
You know how the scaffolding trade.
Loads of Poles, you're an old man!
I've been waiting forever!
Sorry, I couldn't get here faster.
My sales show is in 5 minutes.
Say, how are you?
The funeral guys are upstairs
with the coffin and all.
Somebody was here for you,
Vera or something. And?
Who was that?
My sister.
Come on, Buddy!
Slowly, slowly.
Be careful. There's a step!
Stop. We have to back up.
Be careful!
Watch out, please!
Your father?
Sorry, I didn't know.
I thought he'd died a while ago.
It's OK. You can get by.
Well, it might work
if we tip the coffin a bit.
A bit to the left!
No, this can't be true.
We'll jerk it a bit.
Absolutely not! It's brand new.
Don't worry, we'll manage it.
A bit to the left.
Ready, go!
I knew it would happen!
Do you know how much it cost?
It's only a little scratch.
Some polish and it'll be fine.
That was you! It's your coffin!
It's my father's coffin.
This is a cabinet from SHELVES'R'US.
Do you know what it cost?
Hey! Someone dies, and you get pissed
off about a fucking piece of furniture!
You ought to be ashamed of yourself!
You could've bought a smaller one!
The coffin would've passed easy!
But no, you couldn't get enough!
Hello. Anyone here?
Nice room.
Yours if you like.
Is this where your father died?
No, in the kitchen while watching TV.
And they say
TV doesn't damage your health.
My father always sat her watching TV,
smoking. The ashes fell on the table.
See the burn marks?
A life like that's not so hot.
And before you know it, it's over.
Like falling off a scaffolding, cancer,
a heart attack, Aids, alcohol...
My address book is turning
into a graveyard, and I'm only 49.
I kept waiting for my life to get
started, but it just went on and on.
The air becomes thinner,
and every day becomes so precious.
Here you are.
Most people just blabber on about
their lives and their big plans,
and suddenly, they're gone.
And what's left? Burn marks.
My father had no plans left.
How can you be so sure? Maybe he didn't
have anyone to discuss them with.
Here's to us! And to the apartment!
And to the hope we don't die alone!
This used to be my room.
Press it.
Excuse me, we're conducting a survey.
Who is Jan Nebel?
I don't know. Maybe a singer.
I mean, I listen to a lot of music,
but I don't know who he is.
Isn't he an astronaut?
Jan Nebel? A designer or something?
That's how it sounds... Jan Nebel?
Who is Jan Nebel?
Speak no Germany.
Who? Jan Nebel.
Never heard of him.
See, nobody knows who Jan Nebel is,
but I know. And if you want to hear
this, then I'll see you tonight.
Sorry, I can't think of anything.
You must know some song.
We won't laugh either.
OK,
but I don't know if I can get it right.
I need a few glasses.
OK, here goes.
Where are we going?
I don't know.
If you like we can go that-a-way.
Or that-a-way.
Where are we going now?
I don't know.
You wanna go home?
And you?
Oh no.
Good evening. Good evening.
Room 207, please.
Here you are.
Is there a message for us?
No. Thank you.
Have a nice evening.
It's vacant like I said.
You taste good.
Like vodka.
Like sex.
Sorry.
There's something
I have to talk to you about.
You want to wait till you're married.
You're married and have five kids.
You're gay.
You only do it with blondes.
You're HIV-positive.
You're HIV-positive?
No. That is, I don't know.
What d'you mean?
I don't know. Maybe.
How d'you mean that?
It was just a short affair.
And?
Maybe she got it from her boyfriend.
But she isn't sure.
Did you get yourself tested? Sure.
Well?
I get the results next week.
Don't worry so much about it.
Do you have an ubberay?
What? Do you have a rubber?
No.
I didn't know we'd end up in a hotel.
Maybe it's better this way.
What? We'll take it slowly,
step by step.
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
Sorry.
Sorry.
Vera?
Good morning!
Breakfast.
Mail, newspaper, glasses.
Thank you.
No, you have to sign here.
For the bill.
What bill?
Your bill.
Yeah, sure.
"Hello, Nebel!
Lots of kisses from Vera!"
Bye.
We'll see you.
Hello? Hello, is Moni there?
Who's calling? I'm a colleague.
Oh, a colleague.
From the slaughterhouse.
Moni isn't here... She moved out.
Where can I find her?
I'd like to know myself.
She ran away without leaving an address.
No address. OK, thanks.
What do you want if I may ask?
Is it anything important?
No, nothing important.
How's she doing?
Ask an easier question.
I don't know how she's doing.
No? No, I don't.
Yeah... OK.
Bye. Bye.
Earth to earth... ashes to ashes...
...and dust to dust.
Our Father who art in heaven...
A little bit higher on the right.
Only on the right.
On the right... That's good.
Ms. Kruse.
Damn thing isn't waterproof! "Good
up to 100 meters underwater!" Bullshit.
Pay attention to the road.
What if Grandpa was still alive
and breathing?
There were bubbles.
Don't worry, honey. Grandpa was dead.
And if not, he's drowned by now.
We almost drowned!
Right as we get in the car, it stops!
Stop griping?
I take off from work, spend the whole day
in your monsoon, and you bitch at me!
Shut up, Harry!
Lilo! You didn't get that from me!
I got more from you than I like!
We aren't always like this.
But almost always.
Watch out!
Man oh man! Women and traffic!
Hey! I know her!
Hey, is everything alright?
Yes, I'm OK.
PLEASE, CALL HOME-Show?
Yes!
You're looking for your brother.
Is everything really OK?
Yes?
Come on.
Come in.
Hi. Hello.
That's Alexis' little sister.
She needs a bed, she's still looking
for her brother and she's broke.
Aren't we all?
This is the bottle that ruined us.
Why? It was our last ten marks.
I'm broke, too.
Don't you make any money
at your concerts?
Forget it. Otherwise I wouldn't have
to sing in the streets.
By the way, Jan.
I have a surprise for you.
A job advertising for a supermarket.
Super! Better than nothing.
Shit.
I have a present for us.
I can't find it.
I lied to you at the hotel.
I didn't get tested for Aids yet.
Why not?
I didn't feel like it.
What?
I'm scared.
You're kidding.
We'll go there tomorrow.
Are you OK, Buddy?
Yes, yes, yes, I'm OK.
I don't know, I'm OK.
I'm OK.
Wait a minute! What?
Listen.
Jenni, don't be so hard on me.
I have to try to live alone.
Why? Everyone has to someday.
Not me. Yes. You, too.
Because you left.
I live in another street.
I can visit you every day.
All because of that stupid cow!
You're wrong!
I'm right!
I don't care if you go!
And this can go, too!
I can't help it
if you have such a shitty mother!
Go away! Go away!
Jenni, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
Come on and help me!
You see what I have to do!
We'll put that sack in last!
Let's put the boxes in first!
You can put the soft stuff
in anywhere!
Come on, let me do it!
Come on, let's leave.
You're kidding.
It's taking ages,
and I'll be late for my new job.
You have two hours. You're not really
serious about leaving, are you?
This is a nightmare!
You can't keep running
from important things!
What d'you mean?
Think of your fine.
You of all people to remind me!
What about Jenni?
What about her?
I went to see her today.
What a hero you are!
Why all the questions? Tell me why you
always run off. You and your secrets.
I don't have secrets.
Oh yeah? We screw,
but I don't even know where you live!
I can't even call you!
I don't have a phone.
Hello, Ms. Kruse.
Hello.
Where do you know him from?
How should I know?
Put that thing on.
And now hop!
The kids love it. Vamos!
Very funny!
I have to go. Bye.
Will I see you tonight?
Maybe.
No maybes.
Probably. No probablies either!
Hello.
Are you the new kiddy entertainer?
And you?
I'm in hardware.
He's in toiletries. Cosmetics.
Hi, guys.
How's the job? OK.
Not so hot in this cold weather?
Familiar with this? No.
Kids are nuts about them.
It's good.
Great! You can buy 'em. How many?
One thousand.
One thousand for 1,000 marks?
The guy said
we could sell them
for ten marks a piece.
I could easily pay my fine.
I doubt it.
I bet Kristina and I hit at least
30 Greek restaurants today.
Why?
Her brother's a chef.
What they class "a chef" in Greece.
The two of you?
She couldn't go alone.
She doesn't understand German.
Understand everything.
Were you expecting me?
Yeah, why?
It's starting to feel
like a fucked up marriage! What?
Thank you!
Thank you! Wait a minute!
Let me introduce tonight's jury.
We have our Steglitz rock-a-baby,
LADY MADONNA!
And we have
JERRY LEE LEHMANN,
the piano legend from Friedrichshain!
Jerry Lee Lehmann.
And last but not least,
Berlin's Teddy Bear number one,
BUDDY THE ONLY HOLLY!
Hi, how are you?
OK.
Hello, you Rockers!
Hello, you Rollers! Yeah!
Welcome to the
21st Spree Teddy Dance Convention!
I'm glad you could all come today,
because it's our anniversary,
our 25th year. But unfortunately
it's probably our last,
because as most of you know,
we're being thrown out.
I don't know what'll become
of the Teddies. What can I say?
Before we get all teary-eyed
I'd like to say
that we have an international
rock'n'roll fan here with us tonight.
She's come all the way from Greece
to celebrate with us!
Let's give a nice big Berlin-Welcome to
the one and only Kristina Papagapoulus!
Kristina, come on!
Shit! My things are all messed up!
It's no big deal.
Don't act like such a princess!
Well, let me...
I'm sorry.
You think we're right for each other?
I don't know. I guess so.
Either you know it right away or never!
Yeah! Do you know?
No.
So what now?
I can't fix up your life. You have to
do it yourself. You don't even know me.
How do you know you can trust me?
I don't trust you.
Why not?
You do things I don't understand.
Like what?
What you do, how you live.
You don't know how I live.
Right.
Then ask me!
Alright. What do you do
when we're not together?
And how can I trust you?
You don't even trust yourself.
Find out for yourself.
But not tonight.
Morning. Coffee?
Aspirini?
Six.
Thank you.
Sorry to bother you. I'm Markus.
I have Aids,
and I don't have long to live.
My parents have disowned me, because
they're afraid of being infected.
I'm unemployed and homeless.
I don't want to become a criminal.
I'm asking for your support,
so I can spend the rest of my days
in peace and quiet.
Thank you for listening.
Hello, Moni.
How... how are you doing?
Hello, would you like a balloon?
Why are you so sad?
I'm not sad.
But you don't look very happy.
Can't anybody let me be
the way I want to be?
Come on, Jenni!
If she made it,
they've got to take me, as well.
The knife suits her better than you.
Glazed dog shit
is no chocolate pudding!
How many do they show?
They always show three.
1,000 marks! Here we come!
Tomato salad...
I don't believe it!
Did you do a belly dance, Buddy?
I disappeared up my own asshole!
Hey there!
Your Vera.
Hello. Hi.
A small donation.
The tomato salad.
Shit. You saw it. How embarrassing.
Why? I thought it was good. But Buddy
was disappointed. He tried, too.
Really?
Is everything OK?
Yeah, why?
You look tired.
Yes, I am.
Won't you tell me where you were?
Today? Oh, everywhere.
Yeah? Like where?
Like I picked up your money.
I have to pay my debts.
Don't start that again.
I don't understand you.
And I don't understand you either.
It all takes time.
It's more complicated than you think.
You make it complicated!
It is complicated!
What's wrong with you?
I can leave if you want. Should I?
No, but at least
you could stay a while.
Hey.
I am staying.
Here, touch me.
It's all real.
Just hold me tight.
Hey.
What's wrong? Aren't you feeling well?
Hey, what's wrong?
Julian, I'm going to leave you.
I will be gone tonight.
I wanted to tell you last night,
but you were in such a bad mood...
And I didn't have the guts.
Is there someone else?
And I thought we were different.
You were pregnant?
Are you nuts?
Why are you spying on me?
I guess I was wrong.
Thanks.
Buddy!
What do you want?
Can you fill in for me at work?
Yeah, I'll do it.
I don't understand you.
Still nothing.
Look who we have here instead.
What are you doing here?
Your sister dropped her here.
You're a daddy for 3 weeks.
She took off for Mallorca
with her night watchman lover.
Come on. Get this thing off me fast!
At last! Look out! Trouble!
The guy with the 1,000 birds? Yeah.
Are you nuts?
You can't just send this Bonanza Hoss!
Sorry,
it was an emergency. Emergency!
Know how many guys want this job!
Didn't I see you last night on TV?
In that... 1,000 MARK SHOW.
You're a real lucky devil!
You're lucky! You missed it last night.
1,000 marks!
Great!
My name is Hoffmann.
Great. I turned on the TV...
Thank you.
Hey, come back here!
Shit!
Vera!
Vera! Vera!
What do you want?
I want you to listen.
I'm listening.
What's between you and that piano guy?
I just some kind of fun for you?
Why do you run around town at night?
Why do you sponge off stupid buffets
and stay with me and my dead father,
but you run off
when we're having a good time?
OK, tell me your story,
and I'll tell you mine.
Jan, I'm cold.
I am, too.
Closing time!
Hello. Hey.
No luck?
We're closing early, anyway.
Jan and I have a big date.
Where?
Hi. Hello.
Stay outside! You can't just walk in!
You see what's going on here!
We just wanted to get a test result.
HIV? Your name?
Nebel. Nebel.
Have a seat. I'll get it.
It'll take a moment.
Subtitles: VICOMEDIA 04/2001