Life After Sex (1992) - full transcript

[jazzy clarinet music]

[Steven narrating]
Steve Rawlins.

A filmmaker.

Up close and personal.

I'm making a film about sex.

Love and commitment.

An exploration into myself
and the people I know.

Everyone has an opinion,

but is there an answer?

I remember it was [stuttering]

it was the side of a hill.



We made love
on the side of a hill.

And I kept thinking
that Chinese proverb, you know,

those who fuck on
the side of the hill...

[chuckles]

[man]
Have you ever had, um...

a ménage à trois?

Sure.

Hey, I lived in the 70s.
[chuckles]

[Kathleen] I've done...
basically everything.

They haven't turned
out very well though.

[Steven]
Through these interviews

and my own relationships,

I'm exploring
this thing we called "love".

It's weird.



[Steven] Hi.

[woman]
Hi. The casting director?

[Steven] No, the director.

[woman] Oh. Well I guess
I'm talking to the right person.

So, do you know
what this is about?

Uh, no not really.

Well, it's
a strong narrative film

with interviews cut within it.

Okay.

It's a story
about a relationship,

the beginning, middle, and end.

Cut within that, we see

real life people going through
what they go through in life.

That sounds really neat.

Yeah, it's sorta like
we're looking for insight

into relationships

and we see it through them and
the people being interviewed.

Okay.

[Steven] So do you have
any questions about the sides?

Um... no.

[Steven] Well, um,

then you can start at anytime.

So, go ahead.

Okay.

[sighs] You know, okay!

You know, I got a little tense.

[woman] God! Hello?

[frustratedly]
Are you just gonna sit there?

Now, I know you wanted me
to read your sides, but...

I brought my own.

I hope you like it.

[clears throat]

I need you.

I want you.

I love you.

Good, huh?

[talking with mouthful]
Shit, I had this!

[mimicking guitar noises]

[off-pitch noise]

[Steven] Well,
it can only get worse.

No.

It can only get better.
A lot better.

[sexy jazz music]

[Steven] I think
the love exploration's begun.

Hi.

-[blonde woman] Hi.
-Hi.

How are you?

Fine.

So, do you have
any questions about the sides?

[woman on televison] I know that
the male is very easily deceived

by thinking that sex is love.

Because in half of my--

[blonde woman] I'm sick
of this silent treatment shit.

This isn't working out.

Wait! Wait, wait, wait!

[Steven chuckles]

[abashedly] Sorry.

Wow...

Kinda convincing, huh?

I'm-- yeah. It was good.

Do you wanna see something more?

Well, how many more do we have?

[woman]
She's the last one today.

Oh, okay.

Well, we're starving, so we're
gonna go to the pizza place.

Can we get you anything?

[Steven] Um, I'm okay.

So, is that it?

Oh, I'm sorry. So...

Tell me something about you.

-What do you mean?
-Sit down, sit down.

You're very attractive.

Thank you.

So, um...

You wanna be an actress, huh?

I am an actress.

I'm sorry, that was stupid.

You already have this role cast?

No, no, no.

No, no,
they were just were starving

and we've been here all day.

Actually,
I'd love for you to do it again.

[blonde woman] Alright, um,
do you want something different?

Yeah tell--
what does she want?

What do I want?
Or what does the character want?

Well she wants, uh...

She wants him
to say something, right?

Well, I don't have an answer.
I'm just, you know, curious.

Oh, okay, well,
she wants a reaction from him.

[Steven] Okay.

She wants him to plea.

To, uh, crawl.

To... beg for her love.

[Steven chuckles]

Okay. Whatever works for you.

-Okay.
-Can I stand up?

-Yeah, sure.
-Okay.

[clears throat]

Look, I've really been tense
these past couple days, and...

Look, I am sick,
of this silent treatment!

[Steven] Wait, wait, wait. Okay.

[Steven] Visualize me
like you would your husband.

-Oh, I'm not married.
-Oh, I saw the ring...

Yeah, well it's on this finger.

Well, okay,
so I'm your boyfriend.

[Steven] You've been
in this situation, right?

Too many times.

[Steven] Really? That bad, huh?
[laughs]

-Well...
-Yeah, that's okay.

[Steven] Tell me. I'm curious.

No...

[Steven] No, come on. Come on.

You're very beautiful.

Really?

[woman] You guys are still here?

[Steven] I, um...

She's reading, yeah.
She's reading.

Oh. Well, it's closed,
so we were gonna go to Vivian's.

We were wondering
if you wanted to come.

-Um, yeah sure.
-Of course,

when she's done reading.

Yeah. So, um, try it again.
Try it one more time.

[Steven] Okay?

Alright.

[sighs]

So, are you tired?

-No, I'm okay.
-So come with us!

I dunno...

So, um, who did you like?
[laughs]

There were a couple good ones.
A couple crazies.

I thought you were gonna
jump down the last one's pants.

[laughs] I thought you were
gonna crawl over the table!

You guys are
just giving me shit, man.

We're not giving you shit!
[laughs] It happens to be true!

Yeah, I mean. She was okay,
you know, if you like that type.

Yeah, she was okay.

[giggling]

[jazzy clarinet music]

[phone ringing]

Hello?

-Hello?
-Shannon.

-Yeah?
-Yeah, hi.

This is Steven Rawlins.

You read for me.

Oh yeah. Hi.

Yeah, um,
I was just wondering if you...

Well, this isn't
exactly a callback.

I was wondering if you wanted
to have lunch or something.

Um...

Can you hold on a second?

-Yeah.
-Thanks.

This is kinda out-of-the-blue.
This isn't about the film?

Not exactly...

You know, I was just
thinking about you a lot.

Well, um, I'm kinda involved
with somebody right now.

-Oh, okay.
-If you know what I mean.

Yeah, no, no. Okay.
I'm sorry. No, no problem.

[phone clicks]

What a weirdo.

[under breath]
God, what a weirdo.

[phone rings]

Yeah, I know
this is sorta strange--

I didn't even ask if
you were involved or anything.

-I guess that was kinda rude.
-Nah, it's okay.

-I feel really stupid.
-Really, it's okay.

[Steven] I'm really
just sort of embarrassed.

[laughs]
It's okay. I understand.

I know you think I do this
all the time or something.

It really doesn't matter.

Well, you know, I don't. I just
thought you were sort of...

sort of sexy, and...

Well, I mean,
you know, it was sweet.

Yeah?

Well, yeah...

Well, I'd still
like to do something.

Well, um, maybe
we all could do something.

[Steven] Me, you,
and your boyfriend?

Yeah.
Well...no...um...

Just me and you, as friends?

[Steven] Oh, yeah.
Okay... [stammers]

Well there's
this party Wednesday--

Oh, no.
I'm working on Wednesday.

-Well, Thursday. There's--
We could [stammers]

No pressure.

-Okay, okay. Thursday's alright.
-[Steven] Okay. Friends.

-Yeah, no pressure. Bye.
-[Steven] See ya later.

[exclaims frustratedly]

[jazzy clarinet music]

I feel really...

good about myself,
in a very calm way.

[woman on television]
I feel completely like myself.

I don't have
to be anybody different.

I feel very accepted.

I feel very accepting
of the other person.

[upbeat saxophone music]

Wow.

[Steven] Yeah, you know.

Who says directors
make a lot of money-- I don't.

It's just a little place, home.

-It's great.
-Can I get you anything?

Yeah. You said you were
gonna give me that script.

Oh yeah...

-There's one right there.
-Great.

[Steven] I'll get you something,
hang on.

[whistles lowly]

What's this?

It's just a little wine.

It's a little early,
don't you think?

Alright, fine. You don't want
my wine. [chuckles]

I think...maybe I should go.

[Steven] Oh, no. Come on.
We just got here. Sit down.

I got you some soda here.

So, um-- I know!

Tell me [stammers]

Oh! Tell me
something embarrassing

that happened to you.

-Something embarrassing?
-[Steven] Yeah, yeah.

Why?

Just for me, just for me.

Alright, uh...

You go first.

Okay, okay. I'll tell you.

[exclaims]

So, I was--
I had an old girlfriend, right?

And so we're in this park,
and she [stammers]

was complaining all day
about this groin rash she had,

and so she said,
"Can you check on it for me?"

So, we're in this park,
it's all public,

and she lifts her dress,

and I'm checking
on her groin rash,

and these people
come around the corner...

Very embarrassing.
Yeah, they thought

I was totally going down on her.

I wasn't.

A rash?

Okay, so. You had to be

Okay. Your turn.

[Shannon] Well...
Something embarrassing...

Um...

Alright.

I was in this high school play,

and we had all
these costume changes to do,

and so, I had taken off
this one costume,

I put on this other one,

and it was like, woolly.

Right before I was
supposed to get on stage,

I was leaning back
in this chair, and I went on,

and my bra got stuck
on the back of my sweater,

and I was swinging around
doing the performance like this,

and the bra was flying around,

and nobody told me
that the bra was on my back,

until the very end of the play.

[chuckles]

[Steven] That's great.

Oh? Yeah. Oh, okay.
Yeah, that's embarrassing.

I thought it was embarrassing.

[Steven] Yeah.

So, tell me. Why did you think
that I already had this cast?

Oh, well. I just didn't
think you were interested.

That's not true.
I'm very interested, really.

Really interested.

Oh, well,
[chuckles uncomfortably]

-Well, thanks for lunch.
-Okay. Let me walk you out.

-Bye.
-Yeah.

So yeah, look over the script
and tell me what you think.

-Alright.
-And we'll go from there.

Alright, well thanks for
coming over and everything.

[both laughing awkwardly]

[chuckles] Sorry.

I'm such a klutz, I'm sorry.

[chuckles] Okay. Sorry.

No, wait.

Yeah, I'm sorry. God.

I should go.
[Steven sighs]

Yeah. You should go.

-Alright. It's been real.
-Thanks.

You're really, very nice.

Thanks. You too.

[panting]

[both laugh]

[both giggling]

[glass knocks]

Wait!

-[laughs] Wait!
-[Steven] What?

-[Steven] What? Come on.
-[Shannon] It's dripping.

[Steven] Yeah, yeah.
Hey, I can clean it up later.

[Shannon] No, no, no--
You should probably do it now.

Just get me something--
It's gonna stain.

[Steven] Yeah.

[clears throat]

-[Steven] Yeah, here.
-[Shannon] Thanks.

You know, I was just thinking

that maybe
we should slow down a little.

Or, a lot.

Completely.

Okay, okay, okay.
I'm sorry. I got--

I'm just, very attracted to you.

-Really?
-Yeah, um. I sorta lost control.

Yeah. Me too.

So, can we get together again?

Well, no.

-Oh, I forgot. I forgot about...
-Sure, that's alright.

No, I liked that. Really.

Well, I did too.

So, do you still have
the same number?

No, actually. I'm gonna go
and change it. [both chuckle]

I'm just kidding.

Why don't-- I'll call you.

-Oh okay.
-But I need your number.

Oh. Yeah, okay. Let me get it.

[door slams]

[dramatic choral music plays]

[clatters]

[grunting painfully]

Ow!

[giggles]

[panting]

[laughs]

[sentimental guitar music]

[Shannon laughs loudly]

[Steven giggling]

[giggling continues]

[giggling]

Wait.

-Wait. Wait, wait.
-[Steven] What?

-I can't do this.
-[Steven] Can't do what?

-This.
-[Steven] Well, what can ya do?

-Nothing. Sorry, I gotta go.
-[chuckles] What?

[chuckles softly]

[panting]

[laughs and exclaims]

[sighs]

We were engaged to be married,

and two week later,
I found him in bed with...

two other girls, and...

-[Steven] Two other girls?
-Two other girls.

It was an unexpected
[unintelligible] that I took.

I flew down to where
he was at with the band, and,

found him in bed
with these two girls,

threw the keys to the one girl,

and the ring to the other,
then I said,

"There, you got your wife
and your mistress now",

and walked out.

[jazzy clarinet music]

[Steven dictating] Everything
was going beautifully.

[typing noises]
They were both tremendously

horny for each other.

Then, for no apparent reason,

she just leaves him,
completely frustrated.

He quickly grabs her
and stops her from leaving.

He looks into her eyes.
She melts.

And they do it right there
in his open doorway.

[frustrated typing]

[phone ringing]

-Hello.
-[Shannon] Hey.

Who is this?
[typing loudly]

[Shannon] I'm sorry.

[Steven chuckles sarcastically]

Yeah. You forgot something.

[sniffs deeply]

[Shannon] I need
to explain some things.

-[Steven] Yeah?
-[Shannon] Can I come over?

Can you come over?

-Sure, you can come over.
-[Shannon] Alright.

Okay.

Hm.

[typing loudly]
She comes over.

[funky jazz music]

[tango music]

[Steven] Oh.

[sobbing loudly]

[Steven] Hey, are you alright?

[Steven] Come in.
[sobbing continues]

I'm sorry.

Come on, come in.
Sit down, sit down.

[wailing]

No, come on. God...

[Shannon] I really need
to talk to someone.

[Steven] What' the problem?
Just a second.

[music stops]

[Steven] So, are you alright?

[wailing] No, yeah, I'm fine.

-Do you wanna talk about it?
-No!

Oh, so it's
something about him, huh?

Yeah.

-Yeah, guys can be such fools.
-Yeah.

[Steven] Just float off!
[sniffling loudly]

I look like a mess!

No, no, no.
Come on, you're fine.

You don't know!

What's to know? What's to know?

[high-pitched wailing]

What are you looking for?

Rotting.

Oh no, yeah.
I got him. It's human.

I'm stupid.

Yeah, well, it's foolish.
So, um...

Did he find out about us?

No. [sniffles]
We've been on the outs forever.

-Really?
-Yeah.

We haven't
had sex in 8 months, and,

that's why
I went so crazy today.

Yeah, we got kinda crazy, huh?

Yeah.

-Did I mess you up?
-No, I'm-- I was cool.

[Shannon] You're nice.

[kissing noises]

[moaning and panting]

-[Steven] Wait, wait, wait!
-[Shannon] What?

-What?
-Come here. [chuckles]

[slow romantic music]

♪ You make me see
All the ways I've been hiding ♪

[Steven] [sighs] There's
a million reasons to avoid her.

She's flaky, she's obnoxious,
she's an actress.

But she's got a great butt.

She smells fine.

She has that soft,
smooth, shapely skin.

Yes, there is a God.

♪ Now make me know
Where I belong ♪

♪ Take me for your love r ♪

[door creaking]

[Shannon] I had to pee-pee.

[upbeat jazzy music]

-Hey.
-Hi.

I have an audition.
You sleep late.

I'll be back later, alright.

Bye.

Bye, honey.

[solemn saxophone music]

[Steven dictating] He naively
fell into her little game,

She stayed the night
and ruined his life.

Once they got down,
he could never get out.

It was a relationship thriller.

She was a Venus snatch-trap.

Hi.

[chuckles] Yeah, hi.
How ya doing?

I didn't know
you were gonna be here.

Yeah, I'm here.

-Is everything alright?
-Yeah, yeah, it's fine.

-You make me so happy.
-Oh, really?

You're so cute,
I just wanna eat you up!

Yeah, well. Man, you move fast.

Yeah, I do, don't I?

So, does that
always work for you?

No. I don't know.

[sighs] We need to talk.

Can it wait, please?

[Shannon] I just have some
things I need to work out.

Yeah...

I know I'm probably messing
you up and everything, right?

No, I'm fine. Really.

[Shannon] I...

I really care for you.

Already?

-I knew right away.
-[Steven] Really?

Yeah. How about you?

I just need a little time,
you know. I'm just...

-I understand.
-How did you audition go?

Oh, it was fine.

How is your film going?

It's fine.
I'm changing a few things.

Oh, so, you wrote it too, huh?

Yeah, I do everything.
You know, whatever it takes.

Well, I'm sorry if I left the
bathroom a mess this morning.

No, no that's fine.

So what happened?
You got thrown out?

Well, no. I--
[knocking]

[Christine] Hi. You ready?

[Steven] For what?

-Oh, what? You forgot?
-Yeah, you remember Christine--

-Shannon.
-Hi.

Can I get you anything?

[Steven] You want something?

-No.
-[Steven] She was just reading.

Oh, well,
maybe I should go then.

[Steven] No,
you don't have to go.

Well, we can do this
another time, really.

[Christine] Bye Rawlins.

[Steven] Christine.

Look, I can't
work for you anymore.

Please.

[Christine] I understand.
But I get attached, okay?

So I'll talk to you
sometime later.

[sentimental synth music]

I can leave if you want.

No, it's okay.
She's just a friend.

Well, okay. She has a little bit
more stick than I do.

Sexually?

-Well--
-That's alright. I understand.

-I should get going anyways.
-No, listen, you know...

So how exactly does she fit in?

Well...

We were both lonely
at the same time,

and it was sort of
a convenient rebound thing.

Not so convenient anymore?

No.

So, how many
friends do you have?

[chuckles]

-Come on, you can tell me.
-A couple, I guess.

You ever been married?

-Are you okay with this?
-Yeah, I'm fine.

-No, not yet.
-Not yet.

Well...

What? You have
some commitment thing?

-No, I...
-That's alright. It's cool.

I'm cool, we're cool.
The whole situation's cool.

I only want you
for sex, anyways.

-Great.
-The only thing I'm not really

hip to is this harem thing
you have going. [chuckles]

Monogomy for me, all the way.

-That's fair.
-Alright.

[woman on television] Sometimes
their mentality, you know.

Their mind takes over.

After sex, the mind
takes over for a couple of days.

You know,

if you can find
a male in that state,

you know,
he's worth having dinner with.

You're so beautiful.

[chuckles] Really? I've never
had anybody tell me that before.

Come on, you're so sweet
and nice and beautiful.

I jumped right into
your life and you accepted it.

Nice.

I guess I was
sorta looking for it.

-Really?
-Well, maybe I needed it.

So, what happened exactly?

Well...

I got in a fight
and it was over.

-Really?
-Mhm.

So, I'm sort of a rebound thing?

You like that word, don't you?

Well, I guess it's been fun

-What, you throwing me out?
-No, no.

Good, cuz I'm broke. [giggles]

And I don't have
a place to live.

And, I lost my job.

Well, so I'm like the
"get back on your feet" fuck.

-That was really crude.
-Aw, it's just a joke. Come on.

Look, I'm here
because I wanna be here.

I could be with
any one of my friends.

I'm joking. It was a joke.

It was a joke!
[scoffs]

Shannon!

[sighs]

Shannon, come on.
Shannon, where ya going?

You think I'm a slut!

Oh, com--
I don't think you're a slut.

-Move along.
-Where ya going?

Look,
this isn't working, alright.

What?

-Shannon!
-Stop grabbing me!

You're my main squeeze,
you're my Fonda-Lina. Come on!

Come on! Come here.

[both giggling] Stop it!

[Shannon] Put me down! Ow!

[Steven making playful noises]

Most of my friends are guys,

and they're all so nice.

But the ones
I got with are jerks.

[Steven]
When did you first have sex?

The first night
I met him. [laughs]

It was not supposed to be--
I didn't want [stammers]

I didn't mean to.
It just happened.

I'm tired. I'm going to bed.

You just don't wanna
play cuz you're losing.

-I'm not losing!
-Yes, you are.

Clue is stupid
with two people, anyways

Okay, well, listen.
I think it's...

Mr. Green...

in the dining room...

with the candlestick.

Yeah, right.
[knocking]

I'll get it.

What? You think it's some
girlfriend, or something?

No, no...

[screams]

[Steven] Can I help you?

Here's your shit.

Good luck, asshole.

She forgets to flush.

Um, damn.

[Shannon]
Give me just two minutes...

[door slams]

-What the hell are you doing?
-What?

-What are you doing here?
-[Daniel] Uh...

-You broke up with me.
-[Daniel] So?

So, what the hell
are you doing here?

Showing how much I love you!

-You don't love me!
-I do, so!

[Shannon] Bullshit, you're
just trying to ruin my life.

Let's try again.

You don't want to, remember?

-[Daniel] That's not true.
-That's what you said.

-I didn't mean it.
-[Shannon] That's what you said.

That's not true.

Look, I can't handle
this bullshit anymore, alright?

Just get out of my life
and leave me alone.

[sighs] I'm sorry.

Why are you always
being such a jerk?

You don't love me! So, go!

Yeah, you're right.

See ya.

[slow sinister music]

[Steven dictating]
The temptation was too great.

Her little fling has forced him
to show his true love for her.

Daniel, what are you doing?
Why are you here?

-I love you.
-I don't hear it.

I don't care what you
wanna hear, it's true,

I really love you.

[Shannon] Why did you
break up with me?

Because I took you for granted
and I can't cope.

I'm a stupid idiot.

-Is that absolutely true?
-I have to have you.

[panting and moaning]

Wait.
I love you.

I'll see you at home.

I'll be there.

[both panting heavily]

What are you typing?

You're so wonderful.

Really?

So, was that the boyfriend?

The ex-boyfriend.

Oh, he's crazy.
Forget about him.

-So, what are you typing?
-Nothing, nothing.

I really don't know how
he knew we were here.

I never said anything.

So, is my life in danger?

Nah, he wouldn't hurt a flea.

He's not like the one
you hear on the news,

who chops up people
and puts them in phone booths?

I guess he could be.

-Great...
-I'm just kidding.

Besides, I'll protect you.

[quietly] Wonderful.

Oh, I get it.

You're jealous.

That's alright.
You can tell me. Talk to me.

I'd like to know
what the hell is going on.

-What?
-I wanna know what's going on.

Well-- I can leave.

No [stammers] we haven't
talked about a lot of things.

Maybe I should go.

No, I just need
to know a few things--

Daniel?

Well, that...

Yeah, I mean,
I don't know anything about you.

I don't know about your family,
where you're from,

your political inclinations,
all I know is that we have...

incredible sex.

Yeah.

Alright.

I come from Pennsylvannia.

My mother
and father still live there.

I have a brother that's
studying to be a psychologist.

I was born and raised
in a Christian home,

and I don't believe in God.

[Steven] What do you mean
you don't believe in God?

-[Shannon] I just don't buy it.
-What is there to buy?

[Shannon] I just think we're all
kidding ourselves, you know?

It's like,
you're born. You live.

You propagate the species, you
die and you rot in some hole.

Well, what is God then?

[Shannon] It's just some
crazy idea that some ego-maniacs

would come up with to satisfy

their egos
and get through their day.

Oh, so how do you
explain why we're here?

I don't.

[Steven] Well, how do you
explain the universe

and atoms and all that shit?

Science.

[Steven] Oh well, fine.
Science to you is God to me.

[Shannon]
What is that word, exactly?

-God?
-Yeah.

[scoffs]
What are you, an atheist?

Actually, no. I used to
go to church every single Sunday

until I realized
it was just a bunch of crap.

I just think
you're extremely shallow.

Where do you
get off calling me shallow

because of what I believe?

Okay, maybe you're not shallow.
You're just being--

I mean, you have
one bad experience

with organized religion,

so now you've lost
all sense of curiosity?

I'm curious.

Well, what happens
when you die?

-You rot in some hole.

[sarcastically]
Oh, that's very curious.

Do you know that for sure?

No, but it's
a lot better than some

of those
ego-maniac concocted ideas.

Really? Well, did you know
that all matter is energy?

So?

Well, I mean it's all this...

crazy stuff, you know.
It's cosmic stuff.

So, what does that mean?

Well, it's all overwhelming

and it's stuff
you don't understand,

and the stuff you don't
understand, that's God.

Oh, alright. So, what you're
trying to say is that because

I don't know
how a toaster works, that's God.

Well, I mean--

No. I mean it's like--

Like infinity.
You try to count to infinity,

so you go, one, two, three,

and you try and get there,
and you can't get there, and

so that's overwhelming,
now that is God.

I can't believe
you called me shallow.

Well, I...

Okay, you're not looking
at the whole picture.

Yeah, sure.

[Steven] Shannon...

[Steven]
Shannon, Shannon. What's up?

Look, I just wanna
be alone, alright?

[Steven] What, what?

I just wanna be alone.

[Steven] What,
you still love him?

[scoffs] Oh, please.

[slow jazz music]

I would never disgrace
myself by taking it all off.

And, I always
gave my one roommate

credit for taking it all off.

When I first moved
down here, and she said,

"Go ahead. Just try it."

And I did, and it didn't
seem any different... at all.

...except the God
that is described to them

by a religious group.

And so they're
kinda more like groupies.

They all like the God
that is prescribed to them.

[seagulls chirping]

[sentimental guitar music]

[Shannon] You have to promise me
never to tell me you love me,

unless you really mean it, okay?

[Steven] That's fair.

[Shannon]
Cuz, we're completely opposite.

I fall in love with
every pedestrian I see.

[Steven]
So, now I'm just a pedestrian?

[Shannon] [chuckles] No.

So, who's the biggest
love affair you've ever had?

Um, it was probably Teri,
when I was 12.

12?

You're telling me the most
powerful relationship

you've ever had was
when you were 12 years old?

You wouldn't even
have had pubic hair.

No, I had two,
and I was very proud of it.

[Shannon chuckles]
I had names for them, really.

-And?
-She devastated me.

She crushed me.

And you're just now recovering?

Yeah, well.
I'm still not over her.

[chuckles] So, what happened?

So, she, um...

She used to hide in the closet
with my best friend, and kiss,

and then she'd come out
and tell me how stupid I was.

Aw, poor little Stevie
with his two pubic hairs!

[laughing] Shut up.

[Shannon giggles]
[Steven] So, um...

It's just not the same,
I just can't commit now.

Oh, are you serious?

Yeah, yeah.
You know, I just [stammers]

I can't fall in love.

Well,

maybe you haven't
found the right woman.

[giggles]
Me and some horny actress?

[laughs nervously]

[exclaims] Oh! You're history.

You're history!

It's okay.
You're not an actress!

[both laughing]

[lively jazz music]

If you fart,
then I am out of here.

I wouldn't fart.

[Steven giggles]

[Shannon] [exclaims]
You disgusting! [giggles]

Well, I mean. I'm just saying,

I hate shiny people, I mean,

the limousine,
it drives me crazy.

I like limos.

What?

Limos are fun.

They have those
tinted glass windows,

and they go up and down,

and you can't see
what's going on inside.

-Do you like room service too?
-I love it.

Oh god.
This is it. The fatal flaw.

What?

The one thing that someone says

that ends
the relationship forever.

You're serious?

I'm dead serious.

I mean, this goes against
every tenet of my philosophy.

Really?

I mean,
you're a materialist flake.

Now who's Mr. Self-Rightous?

Yep. I guess so.

Oh, come on.

I mean, how
can any decent person

believe in room service
and limos,

when there's
people starving and stuff?

I just like them.

Okay, fine.

Steven, it's like, some people
like to have good things,

and some people don't.
Everybody's different.

No, that's fine. I'm tolerant.
I can deal with your problems.

Good.

[giggles]
Okay! Okay, okay!

[Shannon] So, have you ever
done it with whipped cream?

[Steven] Uh, no.

[Shannon] Neither have I.

Do you spend a lot of time
thinking about this stuff?

Where was the strangest
place you've ever done it?

An elevator.

-You've done it in an elevator?
-I'm lying.

Let's go over to the stall.

Come on, for me.

-[Steven] No!
-Please.

-I know it'd be for you.
-Come on!

-[Steven] No, no, no!
-It'll be fun!

[Steven] No, no, no! Come on!

[playful jazz music]

[kids playing]

[panting and moaning]

[giggles] Hi.

It's just my brother and I,

he's handicapped
and I'm helping him out.

-Could you shut the door?
-Yeah, sure, sorry.

[both laughing]

[kids yelling in the background]

[sighs]

[moans exhaustively]

[snazzy saxophone music]

[whistles]

[grunts]

[Steven] Wait. Oh, no.
It's impossible.

No, no! It's inhumane.

[Shannon] So what's this?
[exclaims] Oh, hello my friend.

[Steven] Shan, please.

[Shannon]
You need a little white hat.

[spraying noise]

[gasps] How about a tie?

[spraying noise continues]

-[Steven] Oh, my god.
-[Shannon exclaims] Tastes good.

[Steven] Oh my-- no!
[Shannon continues exclaiming]

-[Shannon] Wait.
-[Steven] Okay-- wait-- no!

[both moaning]

[Steven] Oh,
that feels good. [moans]

[both moaning]

Well, I have a mental illness.

It's called
schizoaffective disorder.

It appeared
in the last 10 years,

I've become psychotic.

[Steven]
What does it mean, psychotic?

It means delusional,
you don't...

deal with reality
as other people do.

We never fought, that was
the trouble. [laughs loudly]

We never fought about anything.

See, I thought
marriage was bliss!

[laughs]

Evening Magazine walked in

and there's a whole story
on the coffee shop

and mom and dad saw it at
7 o'clock at night. [chuckles]

So, things
were a little bit rough.

My father-- I don't tell--

My mother doesn't
talk to me no more.

My mom disowned me.

No one ever talked about it.

And we never knew about it.

But sometimes
somebody got pregnant.

So there's, uh...

28, 29,

30...

[breathing deeply]

I'm just [stammers]
I'm just stressed.

I'll be alright.

[groans sadly]

Oh no.

[groans]

[Shannon screams] Oh shit!

[screaming profanities]
Shit, no!

[Shannon]
Wait, wait, wait.

Whatcha doing?

-Why ya going?
-I'm late. I'm late. I'm late!

-No!
-I'm late!

I have a meeting.
[kissy noises]

They're waiting.
[both giggling]

[exclaims disappointedly]

Come on.
I gotta go. I'm gone.

[Shannon] So, why did you
bring me up here on the coldest,

cloudiest day of the year?

[Steven] Cuz we could
come up here on any clear day.

You know, this is special.

[Shannon brrrs]

Besides,
you're closer this way.

Oh, I get it.

If you had a girl,
what would you name her?

This is
a trick question, right?

No, I'm being serious.

Cuz you're
making me very nervous.

What do you think
of "Gwen" for a girl?

-[Steven] Are you hungry?
-You're such a wimp.

[Steven] You're right.

Well, I wouldn't wanna
have kids with you anyways.

Really? Why not?

Cuz you're too selfish.

Yeah, I am selfish.

You're probably
not faithful either, are you?

[breathes deeply]

So, you sold used cars,
that's what you used to sell.

-Shut up!
-I like kids.

[Steven] Come on, Shannon.

[Shannon]
I'm just not being fair.

[Steven] No!

[Steven] Can't believe
you can look up there

and say there's no God.

[Shannon] Don't start.

[Steven] Okay, okay.

[exciting jazz music]

[Shannon] Come on! I just
wanna see what it feels like.

[Steven] Okay, well,
you gotta aim it.

[Shannon] Alright.

[both giggling]
[Shannon] Like this?

[trickling]
[Shannon exclaiming excitedly]

[Shannon] It's weird!

[Steven] I'm getting
too excited, I can't do this.

[Shannon]
Now, come on, it's fun!

-Well, keep it in the bowl!
-[Shannon] Alright.

[trickling continues]

[Steven] Okay, now
you gotta shake it off.

[Shannon] Like that?
[Steven yelling]

[Shannon giggling]
[Steven] Jeez!

[Steven chuckles]
...you're wringing our towel.

-Sorry.
-Alright.

[flushing]

So, are we past the anal
part of our relationship?

Cuz I can't take
this thing anymore.

[sentimental guitar music]

[Steven] Have you ever
been forced to have sex?

Yeah.

[sentimental clarinet music]

[Steven] Describe that for me.

It was scary.

It was...

I knew I didn't want to,

and I said "no",
and I said "no",

and...

He forced me to anyways, and,

I felt like it was my fault.

I felt like
I must've done something

to make him do that.

[Steven] When was that?

Um...

When I was 14.

[Steven sighs]

[Steven] When did you say
you lost your virginity though?

14.

[Steven] So that's when
you lost your virginity?

-Mhm.
-[Steven] That's very traumatic.

You know, I didn't have
any reason to be jealous.

Just my own insecurity.

She, in my mind, was better
than I thought I was, so,

he would want that
instead of me.

[Steven]
Is the paper around here?

I guess.

[Steven]
Well, did you bring it in?

No.

Was I supposed to?

-[Steven] Well, you usually do.
-No, I don't.

Oh.

[Steven]
So, why would you not

empty the containers
in the fridge?

Don't ask me.

[Steven exhales deeply]

[Steven] Alright.

[slurping noisily]

-Do you mind?
-[Steven] What?

Not making that noise?

[smacking]
Is there something wrong?

-No, you just sound like a pig.
-[Steven] It's the way I eat.

Well, change the way you eat.

What's with you?

Nothing. I just don't like
that noise while I'm reading.

[Steven]
Well, there's a lot of things

I don't like about you, either.

I just asked you
not to make a noise.

That's it. That's all.

-Alright?
-[Steven] Oh.

[mimicking] Oh. Oh.

[continues slurping]

Can you see that I'm reading?

Why don't you clean up
a little bit or something?

[Shannon]
I'm always cleaning up!

Never!

Look, why don't you
just go back to bed, alright?

[Steven] Well, cuz I'm up now!

Well, it's only 11 o'clock.

You got a problem with that?

No, maybe if you didn't sit
and bullshit all night

in front of your computer.

[Steven] It's called writing.

Well, I didn't see
much typing going on.

What? Are you
watching over me now?

[Shannon] Maybe you wouldn't be
such a frustrated person

if you actually
did work on this film.

Oh god, shut up!

You don't know shit about it.

I don't wanna be in it anyways.

[Steven]
Oh, that's what this is about?

[Steven] If you had any memory,
you'd know it's on hold.

I know that.

[continues slurping noisily]

Stop it!

What the fuck are you doing?

I just can't take it anymore,
alright?

If you're on the rag,
just deal with it.

None of that.

-Leave me alone.
-Leave me alone.

-I'll be back later.
-Yeah, alright.

They've got all these rules,
you know,

"we should
never go to bed angry".

Well, we've been to bed,
angry. [laughs]

They got all these [chuckles]

I mean-- If we could
be rational, you know,

not to-- to follow the rules,
then you wouldn't need to fight.

You know, it's so stupid.
A fight is a fight.

[solemn orchestral music]

[exhales deeply]

I got some stuff,
do you want anything?

No, I'm fine.

[plastic bags rustling]

-Is everything alright?
-Yeah, it's fine.

I got my 3rd callback
on a commercial today.

[flatly]
Really? That's terrific.

-Does that piss you off?
-No, I don't care.

[scoffs] You don't care?

I'm just gonna
go to a friend's house.

[sighs]

[Steven dictating] I'm really
getting tired of Shannon's shit.

I can't believe
the delays in the film,

they said they might
even quit it entirely,

I can't believe it.

[typing noises]

I'm getting
very nervous with Shannon.

She's starting
to get too domestic.

I looked at her the other night,

we were both in bed,
she had this look on her face.

Like, we were married

and the kids
were already at college.

It scared the shit out of me.

I don't know.

I don't think
I love her that much.

I don't know
if I love her at all.

I don't even know
what that means.

I don't wanna spend the rest of
my life with her,

that's for damn sure.

I'm not ready for it.

She really pisses me off.

She's so totally selfish,

like I care about
her stupid commercial.

So what if she's doing well?

[sighs internally]

[paper ripping]

[phone rings]

[Steven] Hi. Mhm.

Oh yeah, I found somebody else.

Oh, it was only
three years of my life,

that's good to hear.

So, yeah.
Well we should meet then.

Okay.

Alright.
Well, let me call you later.

[sweeping]

[Steven] She had
this look like she was 60

and we were married.

I don't think
I love her that much.

I don't think I love her at all.

I don't know what that means.

I don't wanna spend the rest of
my life with her,

that's for damn sure.

[sentimental piano music]

[Steven laughing]

-So, let me get the script.
-Okay.

-You're gonna call me, right?
-Yeah.

[Steven] Okay, cuz you're gonna
let me know right after, right?

Yeah. Okay.

I'm really glad we're
working together again.

Me too.

-Take it easy, drive safe.
-I will. Bye-bye.

Later.

[sighs]

Uh, so we were
invited to a screening.

I thought,
you know, we should go.

I have rehearsal.

Christine and I made up.
You know, just friends, but...

So, what are you rehearsing?

The scene.

Oh.

-So, are you crying?
-No.

-Well, what's that?
-Nothing.

I think we should do this,
it would be fun.

No.

What is with you? We never
have any fun anymore, come on!

Look, I'm late.
I don't have time. I have to go.

I don't wanna talk about it.

Well, I didn't really wanna
just talk. I just thought,

we could get something going.
Communication, you know?

Something, I don't know. [yells]
Just hit me, or something!

[angrily] Ha,
you're really funny.

I mean, it's really unbelievable

how fucking funny
you really are.

[slaps]

What the fuck was that?

[sarcastically] I'm sorry.
I'm real sorry. I'm so selfish.

[jazz clarinet music]

Either I'd try to get off
my medication, or I'd use drugs,

[stammers] in a period
where I was too sensitive

or in a stressful situation,

I broke up with Stephanie,

and I got out there
and became psychotic.

I went through
a real difficult period

because my relationship
with my partner fell apart.

That had happened
before with other partners,

but this one
was an extreme case of,

we'd been together,

and seen so much together,
done so much together,

that when
that relationship fell apart,

I was devastated
to the point where

I would admit
that I was devastated.

And you know
about the cruelties of people.

I've learned a lot things
about, you know, [stammers]

Many times...

[hesitates] people have
given me rotten food.

and, uh [laughs]
they're really hurtful.

So we said go to Dad's
house for Thanksgiving.

She was like, "No, I'm gonna be
home late Thanksgiving dinner."

But she'd never show up

or make dinner,
she'd be gone all night,

I'd come home, and when
she came home she'd be trashed.

Or all drugged up.

And she's just somebody
who should be locked away.

I used to get beat up, I've had
bruise marks all over my body.

After a while,
I just kinda laid there,

because I knew it was
no use fighting him off...

and then I just,
kinda, fell asleep.

I-- you know,
I just thought it was my fault.

My brother
ran me to the hospital.

He had his friend drive.

His friend was
a year older than him,

and he drove me to the hospital.

And, I was covered
under my dad's policy.

So, I put it on, and...

my dad asked what happened.

I just told him
I fell down a couple of steps.

And..

I used to hide things
very well, I'd wear sweatshirts

when my back would
be all bruised up from her.

My family is very...

Very unique,
it's very different.

Well, sometimes I feel like

I might as well have sex
with someone, because,

if I don't do it
on my own free will,

that they can just take it.

[Steven dictating]
She's totally flipped out.

I don't know where
the hell she's coming from.

In some bizarre sense,
I find it sort of amusing.

Although it appears negative,
it's giving the film more depth.

Nevermind how it's affecting me.

[panting]

[Shannon] Don... [shushes]

-[Don] What? What?
-[Shannon] You're beautiful.

[Don] Me?
[Shannon giggles]

-[Don] Come here.
-[Shannon] You're good at that.

[Shannon]
Are you gonna be alright?

-[Don] Yeah. I'm gonna be fine.
-[Shannon] To drive?

-I didn't drive. Eric drove.
-[Shannon] Oh yeah.

[Shannon yells] Hi Eric!

-[Shannon] Ugh, I gotta go.
-[Don] Are you gonna be okay?

[Shannon] Yeah, oh! But I gotta
find my keys. Wait, wait.

-[Don] Maybe in here?
-[Shannon] No!

-[Don] Maybe in here?
-[Shannon] I'll do it! [laughs]

I got 'em, I got 'em.
I gotta go. Bye.

[Don] Bye-bye. I'll call you.

-[Shannon] Alright, bye.
-[Don] Bye.

[keys jangling]

[typing noises]

What are you looking at?

[Steven] What was that?

What was what?

[Steven] So, did you do him?

[scoffs]

Maybe I did.

-Get the fuck out of my face.
-Don't talk to me like that.

You're acting like an idiot.

I want you out of my house.

[scoffs] Oh, really?

[Steven]
Get the fuck out of here!

[Shannon screams frustratedly]

Is that really what you want?

Yeah, that's what I want.
[yells] Get out!

Well you better get used to it,
cuz I'm not leaving.

-I want you out, now.
-Oh, really?

Yeah, that's right.
Why are you doing this to me?

Maybe you should ask
yourself that same question.

What does that mean?

-You think I'm some rag.
-What are you talking about?

Oh, you know!

-I know?
-Yes you do!

You know it, and I know it.

And you just don't know
that I know that you know.

What? I-- [stammers]

I'm selfish?

You're the one who's selfish.

You and your
stupid computer secrets.

What? You've been
reading my journal?

Is this what this is about?

I didn't have to.

You've been reading
my journal, haven't you?

[scoffs] Well, maybe I have.

-I can't believe you.
-Well, I'm really sorry.

That is my private world,
that's my private stuff.

Well it's not
so private anymore.

You had no right to read that.

What fantasy are you living in?

[Steven] Look, I don't write
nice things in there for you.

That's me
talking to me at my core.

Yeah,
it's really rotten in there.

Look [sighs] it's just where
I scream when I'm going crazy.

It's 99% nothing,
it's just ranting.

I understand.

You hate me.

And you won't even marry me

because you think
you're too good for me.

-[Steven] That is not true.
-Yes it is.

[sighs]

It's just, when I have a moment,
and I go to write, and it's...

It's just
a negative time amplified.

It's nothing.
It's not rational truth.

Whatever.

You had no right to read it.

It was just laying on the floor
for the whole world to see.

What do you expect?

You think I just
left it there for you?

If I wanted out that bad,
I'd just say, "Hey, I want out.

[sighs]

Look, I didn't write
it intentionally, okay?

[sighs]

I just wrote some ugly words

on some paper when I was upset.

It's not really how I feel.

I'm sorry.

Hey.

[sniffles]

I miss you.

[whispers] Me too.

[sentimental jazz music]

[solemn clarinet music]

Shannon?

[Shannon dictating] Steven,

I'm sorry.

As much as you say
you wrote in anger,

I know you wrote
from your heart.

I love you very much.

I know you don't know
what that means yet.

I have to move out.

I can't see you anymore.

So, please don't chase after me.

It hurts too much.

I have to come back
to get my things,

so, I'll come tomorrow around 3.

Please, I beg you
for my own sanity,

don't be there between 2 and 4.

I love you, but
it's just not gonna work out.

It's over.
So let me go easy, please.

Shannon.

[sighs]

[grunts]

[slams door]

[waves crashing]

[Steve] Come on,
you're young. Unattached. Free.

You didn't know her
before you met her.

Hey, you haven't
called Melissa in weeks!

And Liz was all over you
at Pam's party. And Christine...

Christine...

You're fine.

You'll sleep,
you'll feel better.

But what if I don't?

[birds chirping]

[jazz clarinet music]

No, I feel like, you know,
saying, "I'm a human being!"

Don't you realize that?

It was a perfect partnership,
you know, perfect...

A perfect relationship.

And then, poof.

Over.

[Steven]
Is the patch related to that?

Yeah, uh, I bloodied
my eye in an episode

also involved
with drugs and Jesus, and

a number of things,
a new alarm was raised.

If you're
having an affair, it because

there's something wrong at home.

[woman on television]
You don't just have an affair.

If everything is really good,

you're not looking.

And even if something...

presents itself,
you're not gonna go for it

if things are alright at home.

I tried to pluck it out,
as it says in the Bible.

"If thy right eye offend thee,
pluck it out"

My dad-- [stammers]
My step-mother won't talk to me.

Um, she tells me
to stay away from her kids.

I have a step-brother
and step-sister,

and I'm supposed to stay away
from my little sister.

My sister doesn't talk to me.
She lives with my dad now.

She doesn't talk to me,
she thinks that

I could've done
better for my life.

If you're in love,

you'll do anything
to make the other person happy.

It's centered
on the other person,

it's not centered on...

fulfilling your own needs.

[door creaks]

Steven?

Steven?

[door slams]

[heels clacking]

Why couldn't you make
things simple, like I asked?

I want you to stay.

You're so full of shit.

[sighs]

I love you.

[Shannon scoffs]

[sarcastically]
Oh, all a sudden,

[stammers] I don't
sleepover one night in your bed,

and you have found
this wonderful love for me.

Move.

I love you.

Don't say that,
you're trying to manipulate me.

[Steven sighs]

I want you to stay.

What exactly
are you trying to say?

[Steven] I love you and
I want you to stay here with me.

[scoffs] Sorry, I can't.

[Steven] Please.

Well, so, what? [stammers]

You wanna marry me?

[stammers]

Do you wanna get married?

[raises voice]
I don't know! I don't know.

I gotta go.

[Steven]
Why do we have to get married?

Because that's
the bottom line, alright!

[yelling] You either
make a commitment to me,

and you know that it's for life,
and you truly love me,

or you don't!

[sighs]

[Steven stammers] I love you!

Look, I don't wanna
listen to your shit anymore.

[Shannon] I mean,
you wanna marry me, or what?

Cuz...

I'm pregnant.

What do you mean,
you're pregnant?

-[Shannon] That's right.
-You're pregnant?

I'm not lying to you.

[sighs]

Come on.

[scoffs] You're pathetic.

Don't cheat.

So what is this?
This a shotgun deal, right?

Look, I wasn't gonna tell you.

I just thought it would be nice
to give the kid a chance

[stammers] at something
approximating a normal life.

And I also thought maybe,

just maybe, you love me...

I don't have
any say in this at all?

Well, I'm not gonna
have an abortion,

if that's what you think.

Well, I mean,
there's nothing I could--

we could talk about,
or something--

I don't know. I mean,
it's half mine, right?

Possession is nine-tenths
the law, and she's mine.

[sighs deeply]

And I'm going to have her
with or without you.

[sighs]

This is for real?

Yeah, well, mistakes happen.

Boy, you sure bought into

a lot of commitment
this time, didn't you?

Look, I'm not gonna
stick around with some asshole

who's hot and cold
on me while I'm having a baby.

[Shannon]
Alright? You gotta decide now.

No divorce.

No fucking around
with other women.

No out, nothing. Alright?

Time to put your money
where your mouth is.

Time to grow up.

[seagulls chirping]

[door slams]

[tense orchestral music]

[slams]

[yells] Shannon!

[intense upbeat music]

[engine starting]

[car honking]

[music intensifies]

[music fades out]

[lock clicks]

What the hell are you doing?
Trying to kill me?

[Shannon] [weakly] Yeah.

[Steven] Come here.

What was that for?

You pissed me off.

I'm sorry.

So, what took you
so long to decide?

I had to make sure.

So did I.

[sentimental jazz music]

[slow romantic music]

♪ I lose my mind ♪

♪ When I find
You're not with me ♪

♪ Out of control ♪

♪ When you're right by my side ♪

[stammers] Yeah, I didn't want
a bar-mitzvah at 13 years old.

Um...

I made a mistake
somewhere [unintelligible]

Not the Torah portion,
the English portion, I--

I dunno, I panicked
[stammers] inside, and then,

it became a blur,
things got a little worse,

and then it got Hebrew part

[laughs]

Things got a little worse, then
all a sudden, I just passed out.

Boom! On the floor, you know.

My dad caught me
before I hit the floor.

They carried me out for
half an hour, then I came back.

Faced the Torah portion, and--

It was
an embarrassing situation.

[music continues]

♪ The only one
You could never live without ♪

He said to her, "Have you ever
seen an X-rated movie?"

And my aunt said, "No."

"Would you like to see one?"
"Okay."

So I think
they went to see, like,

The Devil in Miss Jones ,
or something.

But they got there late, they
missed the first 50 minutes,

and so through the whole movie,
my aunt's going,

[gasping] "Oh god. Oh my god!
Oh, what is he doing to her?"

"Oh, why is she
letting him do-- Oh wha--"

And at the end of the movie,

my mother said, "Well,
we missed the first 50 minutes."

"Do you wanna stay
for the beginning?"

And my aunt said, "Okay!"

[laughs]

[romantic pop music continues]

♪ You make me strong ♪

♪ Now make me know
Where I belong ♪

If you only have
a mistress and not a wife,

that's even better,

cuz then you have the energy
to do other things. [chuckles]

♪ You've become the only one ♪

[Steven] They say you marry the
person you're standing next to

when you're
ready to get married.

And I was standing
next to Shannon.

Do I understand love now?
Honestly?

No.

It wasn't something she said,
or something she did.

She just sorta grew on me.

I guess love is in the...
eye of the beholder.

[slow romantic pop music]

♪ Take me for your lover ♪

♪ My heart is shaking ♪

♪ You take my breath away ♪

♪ Take my breath away ♪

♪ Come take my breath away ♪

♪ Take me with your heart ♪

♪ Take me with your soul ♪

I always give them three
little things that I tell them,

when I first start dating them.

"Don't fuck with me.
Don't fuck with my family.

"Don't fuck with my car."

If you can get through that,
you're fine.

[music stops]

[receding footsteps]