Le fou du labo IV (1967) - full transcript
- Eugene!
Eugene!
- Yes Dad ?
- Bring back a Camembert for tonight.
- Okay.
- Sinking but not strong.
- Heard.
- And if it stinks like yesterday,
tell the dairyman
I 'm going to crush him on the face.
- I'll tell him, dad.
- No Camembert.
- Why, no camenbert?
- It's bad for your bitterness.
- My "bitterness"!
My "bitterness"!
It’s you who make me
bitter.
- And soon their golden wedding.
And they want me to get married!
- Hi, Ballanchon.
- Hello.
- Hello.
- Hello, Mr. Ballanchon.
- Hello.
- Hello professor.
- One more minute, and he'll die.
- Hello, Professor.
- Hello.
- Hello, Professor.
- Hello.
- So Oscar?
How is it going this morning ?
- Very agitated, as always,
professor.
- Tonight, we'll have to give him
a sedative.
- That way, Oscar will have a big sleep.
Huh?
- Drink well, it will drop
the temperature.
- Ballanchon worries us,
Mr. Director.
- He does not confide in anyone,
he works in secret.
- You know that's his nature.
- He suckles little rabbits.
Single, no children ...
Small complex of
fatherly frustration .
Nothing serious.
- This time, it's serious,
he loses control.
The assistant he fired ...
says he's looking to experiment
on his guinea pigs ...
a mysterious gas.
- Explosive?
- Do we ever know.
It would be an odorless gas,
which would attack the control
of the conscious personality.
He would lift all inhibitions,
all prohibitions.
A gas of truth in a way.
- If he succeeds ...
- Are you kidding?
- Not at all.
What a discovery that would be
for National Defense.
My dear, with Ballanchon,
you have to expect everything.
- This time, it's too much.
We will explain ourselves.
He's an assassin,
a public danger.
Is Mr. Ballanchon doing his?
He's going to see me coming.
Ballanchon this time
we will explain ourselves !
Sacred Ballanchon.
One day you'll blow
up the box,
and us with,
sprayed! disintegrated!
What a pretty fireworks display!
Definitely, with you,
there is no risk of getting bored.
Ballanchon,
I must kiss you.
See you soon.
I leave you to work.
See you next time.
- It's not exactly what
I was looking for,
But meanwhile,
it put him in a good mood.
- What an extraordinary being.
The joy of living with Ballanchon.
What an exquisite, delicious, refined being.
Ballanchon!
Ballanchon!
- Get that corrected
for the signature.
AlIo? Here?
DST? Yes, I am not quitting.
Hello? Yes hello.
What? Ah, spies.
You see them everywhere, spies.
It is a vice.
I answer for all my collaborators.
But no not at all.
If you are told that the Americans
have the atomic bomb,
know that the leaks do
not come from us.
- Don't go, he's furious.
- I didn't expect so much.
Am I bothering you ?
- If it's to try your
truth gas , I tell you:
you piss me off, Ballanchon!
- Yes Yes. I know,
Director.
I know, fuck you.
But alas, it's not my gas
that makes you say it.
We're not there yet.
- So what do you want?
- I just wanted to ask you
to breathe.
To breathe slowly. Come on.
Breathe.
- Breathe. Breathe.
Do you think I have time to breathe?
that I want to breathe?
When the DST
imagine that we are a nest of spies.
Ballanchon ...
the situation is dramatic.
You hear me ? Dramatic.
Ballanchon ...
There were leaks.
- No ! So what ?
- So...
we are cut off all credit
pending the outcome of the investigation.
- It's not true.
- 3 billions.
3 billion
I was counting on ...
Under one's nose.
- 3 billions...
- It's ruin.
It's a disaster,
it's a disaster.
It is the Bérézina.
- It's Waterloo.
- It does me good
that you are the first to know,
because I have...
I have such affection for you.
- Me too, Mr. Granger.
-
Will you allow me to kiss you?
- Yes.
- Again.
- It seems to work,
my little thing.
- What are you telling ?
- I have the impression of having made
a strange discovery.
- Hello, Mr. Marchand.
- Hello, Elise.
- It's fantastic.
a gas that makes you euphoric and good.
It is the absolute weapon.
You imagine
a euphoric army
kissing the enemy
and singing the national anthem
to celebrate the defeat.
- It's a question of quantity.
- We are saved.
My fortune ...
Our fortune is made.
Give me the formula for your gas.
-Ben...
It is that. ..
- "Is that" what?
- I do not have it.
- What?
- Well, not yet.
It's by dropping my
cigarette ash in a preparation
that everything started to bubble.
That's kind of how Fleming
discovered penicillin.
By accident.
- And is that all you have left?
- Ben ... I know more or less
the components.
I will manage to analyze it.
- We just have to hope so.
Tell me,
how long does its effect last ?
- To see the look you are doing
now ...
about 1 minute.
- It is insufficient, we must maintain
the enemy
at least an hour
in a state of euphoria.
Today, in 1 minute, we win
a battle, but not the war.
- A little more ...
- No, unhappy man.
No waste.
I prefer to stay in a bad mood
I'm used to it.
First of all,
to find the formula,
you have all my credits.
You have priority
over other searches.
As for your safety ...
- Oh no. Especially no surveillance.
I want my freedom.
And no DST, eh.
- As you wish.
- You understand,
I don't want to
to be locked
in a blockhouse.
I have parents to support.
I have to take care of it.
- You have my word.
For starters,
what do you need?
- Leave me alone.
- You will have it.
Ballanchon,
still give me
a little puff.
Oh !
- Ok
- Mr. Beauchard!
- So show the
Fort Apache model to Mr. Baron.
- Hello. It's okay ?
- In the cowboy genre,
that's what we do
best for the summer.
- The edges are not too wide
for my husband's height?
On foot you don't realize
you have to see it on horseback.
- You think ?
- The horse changes everything.
- If Monsieur le Baron will
take the trouble ...
- You know, even on horseback ...
- What do you want, madam,
it's class.
Let Monsieur le Baron
find a reason for himself.
Monsieur le Baron will never look
like a cow keeper.
Try the
Mexican style at M. le Baron . You never know.
I listen.
- There's something new in the center.
Ballanchon made a discovery which
he describes as "extraordinary".
I couldn't find out what.
- Well done.
- I was disturbed.
I am wary.
We're talking about espionage at the box.
- There were still leaks
in the leaks.
What does
your guy look like ?
- Apart from science, it's not a light.
- If you take him for a moron
it must not be that stupid.
We will have to be wary of this Ballanchon.
- This time he's going to hear me.
Ballanchon!
- Your mission
will be particularly delicate.
Remember:
he doesn't want DST.
It is about protecting him
without his noticing it.
Ballanchon is an unconscious.
And he's stubborn, the animal.
- We usually.
We were in the security service of
the President of the Republic.
- Ah! So...
- If he continues to reduce credits
like that, we will end up on a tandem.
- To follow
it would be more practical.
- I told you not to breathe
when I pass the second.
After the slalom,
high aerobatics. Definitely ...
- Some blood !
- The women !
They are crushing you,
and you have to pick them up.
- That's the guy.
He was spinning like crazy.
A real racing car. He ran
the red light and ran over the girl.
- It does not matter M agent
I have nothing broken.
- And you think that's funny ?
it's going to cost you dearly,
my dear .
Poor daughter.
- It's emotion.
It's nothing.
Women pass out easily.
- But you're a bastard too!
- My God, what a shock.
- I suspect it.
- I was scared
when I knocked you over.
- It was you, on foot,
who knocked him down?
- No. I was in the car.
- Ah! So the pedestrian was you.
- No. Me, I did not start
fast enough.
- So you knocked her down.
- No. It was I
who knocked him down.
- Enough politeness.
Who was the pedestrian?
- It's me, Agent.
- You leave me alone!
Well. So...
Who was the pedestrian?
- There was no pedestrian.
- What?
- I have never run over a pedestrian
in my life, Agent, and I ...
- So there, it will end badly.
I'll take you
both away.
It is there, the bus, it is there.
- But since neither of us are complaining
.
- In any case, do not come to be run over
in my area.
- Since I told you, Agent ...
- that you saw a racing car.
- I have seen everything.
- Well, it's nothing
compared to what you're going to see.
Come on, the bus, the bus.
- But but...
- We need to disinfect
your wounds.
- These are just simple
abrasions.
- I have a first aid kit
in my car.
- My compliments. You are
an organized woman.
- Let's say far-sighted.
- Oh, it's me
which stretches it.
- It'll sting, right?
- Calm down.
Haven't you broken anything?
- No. it's okay, everything works.
- No fractured skull?
- No. I know how to receive myself.
I took judo lessons
from the universal school.
I am a black belt
by correspondence.
- You are strong,
but do not assume your strength.
- Don't worry,
I'm in great shape.
- And then
in 5 minutes you might collapse.
- No no.
- I live near here. Come and have
a glass of cognac.
It is more careful.
- Careful, careful ...
Do you think so?
- But it's an order.
- Ah.
- I almost killed you.
You are my first two-wheeler.
- There, you're right,
it's watering.
- It's gonna end in a wedding.
- You'll see,
the grooms of honor
gonna be good
for night duty.
Here, look. Here.
- You are right.
- With all those red lights,
it's fucked up.
- No. They have something else in mind
than the performance index.
- You look worried.
I put you late.
You can call
from home.
You are married ?
- No, old boy.
- "Old", that does not suit you.
I prefer "single".
Do you live with your parents?
- No. They are the ones
who live with me.
- You're a good kid.
- I don't blame them anymore
for bringing me into the world.
With age, you get used to it.
- Pessimistic?
- No.
Optimism is seeing
things as they are.
We can only have
good surprises.
Me, I am optimistic,
I always expect the worst.
- With me too
you expect the worst?
I live on the 1st floor.
I show you the way.
Come in.
Get rid of it.
- It doesn't hold,
your coat rack.
- You are well equipped.
- When you ride on two wheels,
you have to have everything on hand.
Then I am very handy.
- Some music ?
-Of course.
- How do you like it ?
- It's very, very pretty.
Music is therapy
for certain neuroses.
- It's exciting.
- Thank you.
We had a
very curious experience :
we woke up an Indian pig to
music.
- It is charming.
- Well, after a month,
he was
twice as big as the other lnde pigs.
- This is terrible.
- Influence of morale
on the physical.
- Do you work
in a laboratory?
- In a laboratory ?
Why ?
- Uh ... Well, you're talking
about Indian pigs.
- I love animals.
- And apart from the music
- loving pigs of India, what interests you?
- Live.
- It's not a goal.
- Do you think so?
- You do have a passion.
- She's "number one", this kid.
The American class, what.
- I believe that we must
take life as it comes,
pleasure as it comes,
and never
ask questions.
- Like all women,
you prefer to ask others.
- Him, with his
average French "sleeping water" air ,
he doesn't inspire confidence in me.
- He's pretty sneaky.
- But do you think!
It is the retarded infant
who is still crying for his mother.
She's going to swaddle him,
the "baby".
- You are strange, mysterious.
- Only the mystery interests me.
Our meeting...
- It's wonderful, chance.
- I don't believe in chance.
- Ah.
- It's no accident
that you knocked me down.
- However...
- I'm not saying
you did it on purpose.
- I hope so.
- But somehow,
it was written.
What do you think ?
- I think it's disturbing
to be like this,
both...
Without knowing who we are.
- It is true.
I don't know anything about you,
or you, nothing about me.
You could have had
the face of my death.
You will be a
smile for a day.
- Wait for me...
poet.
- We don't hear them anymore.
How come ?
We can't hear anything anymore.
- I'm telling you
that's a pretty good sign.
In the pocket, the Ballanchon.
- I told you that
he was hiding his game, the scholar.
- What do you mean ?
- She'll have to go there.
- She's not used
to sleeping with the first comer.
- You know something.
- Relax, guys. Take it easy !
- Do not get impatient, I'm coming.
- I've got plenty of time.
- We can't hear anything.
- He must be
giving her his formula.
- I'm telling you that the Solex
is a girl's thing.
- Here it comes out.
- We haven't got home yet.
- Let's go.
- Ah! There you are, Eugene.
- What happened ?
- The house is in the dark.
- Well, a breakdown.
- No, your mother.
- You're just a sweetie.
- You would like
to send me to the asylum.
- It is not serious.
The pellets have blown.
- No, the pellets
didn't blow.
Weights do not jump.
- So what ?
- We blow them up.
And who blew them up?
Your mother.
And why ?
To piss me off.
Perfectly.
One day
, your mother will blow up the neighborhood.
- We had to put them back.
- Monsieur is a good-for-nothing.
- You would like me to electrocute myself,
so that you can start your life over.
- That's smart.
- Leave it to me, dad,
I'll take care of it.
- You heard it, your mother, didn't you?
Tonight, you were a witness.
My life, you see what it is.
- Yes. A short circuit,
like the day before yesterday.
- Having fought two wars,
having escaped three times
and find
yourself prisoner of a shrew
in a suburban pavilion,
gosh ...
- You shouldn't tell me that you loved me
for life
- My heart was bigger
than my stomach.
- It's here.
Be careful, the boss wants us
to bring him back alive.
- There is no light.
Maybe he hasn't come home.
- Go see, Mario.
- Come on, Mario. Quick !
- He's crazy, this guy.
Quick, quick, quick, quick, quick.
- Oh, my arm.
- I assure you, I heard gunshots.
- It was an exhaust pipe.
- Ah, that's not enough for you?
This time around, you will understand.
- If we ever shot him
, what are we going to take.
Started !
Get into that car. Quick !
- When you have finished having fun,
you can
think about the light?
- Yes Dad.
- We're holding it back, your nimbus.
- We didn't see where it came from.
- A crazy.
- A madman.
- Hang up your guns
and buy some guitars.
You have a future
as duettists.
- to have it alive ...
- It's not our job.
- Because you think you're
killers?
And that criticizes the Americans.
But in the states of guys like you,
we wouldn't pay them union rate.
I can no longer get used
to small artisans.
I will take care of it since in France
you have to do everything yourself
- So this time, understood.
With this twisted, no zeal.
We follow him from afar,
we make presence.
You've put on weight
since yesterday.
- No, but I took my precautions:
I put on my little wool.
- But what's going on?
It's a flood.
It was you who wanted to tinker?
- No, it's your mother.
- Where is that from ?
- Ask your father.
- Is that a pipe?
- No, a tap.
- What faucet?
- the one your father refused to close.
- It is your mother who opened it,
it is your mother who will close it.
Let's see
It is terrible.
I can't leave you alone anymore.
- When you're there, she plots.
And with me, she's having fun.
- I don't have to turn off a tap
that I did not open.
it's a principle.
- In principle your mother refuses
to close anything,
even its valve.
-
You opened the tap .
- No it's you.
- Besides,
I couldn't believe my eyes:
finally your father decided
to take a bath.
- Liar! I took one
last Sunday.
It was Mother's Day.
I'd rather get the hell out of it.
I'll drown it eventually.
- That's it.
Dry your feet before you go out.
- Unworthy mother, go.
- He annoys me, he annoys me, he annoys me!
- Mom, please
don't cry.
There is already enough to mop up
like this.
- So far.
- Professor Eugène Ballanchon please?
- Take off your shoes
and go upstream.
- Where is it ?
- Professor Ballanchon?
- It's me, yes.
- I'm from DST.
I came on behalf of Mr. Granger.
- Oh no, that's enough for today.
- We've been tasked
with protecting you.
- You will say from me
to that pig of Granger ...
- Tell him yourself.
He's waiting for you in my car,
he didn't dare come.
- I would like someone to leave me alone.
It would be nice if
they left me alone.
- Do not worry.
- He doesn't dare show himself?
- Mr. Granger had
to consider above all
The interest of National Defense.
- Is that so ?
- It's okay, his Solex is there.
- I bet he eats.
- Well, we'll do the same.
Ah! Ham.
- Please excuse these
somewhat cavalier methods .
Think of them
as a tribute.
It proves that I don't take you
for a fool.
- It also proves
that you are.
With your gangster methods, what
do you expect from me?
- I do not live hope and I will
explain it to you in a moment.
I am convinced,
professor,
that you won't make me lose
my self-control
by forcing me to use
methods
that I myself disapprove of.
I'll leave you one night
to think it over.
I'll meet you tomorrow morning,
and I am sure you will give me
the formula.
You have everything you need.
See you tomorrow.
What is it ?
- When I think all it takes is
a shot or a gas
so that you are a hero
instead of a traitor.
- What the French
can be nationalists.
- You send
your information well.
- Ah, sorry,
Mr. Ballanchon.
I don't pass them on,
I sell them: nuance.
- Oh yes, nuance.
You are not a traitor,
you are a sold
- The richest
are the strongest.
The reason for the stronger is the better.
By selling to the highest bidder
I am always sure to serve
the cause of intelligence.
- Have you thought about the fools
who could make you rifle?
without trying to understand?
- When you're shot for
money, you don't die for nothing.
Come on.
And if you want to play Romeo,
know that at the bottom of the window,
I have placed two Juliets
as effeminate as these gentlemen.
Careful, eh?
It's understood ?
- OKAY.
- 6-21 in half.
- He cut his veins.
- Didn't he do that?
The boss will break us.
Where is he ?
Open!
Open!
- Well. This is not
the right formula yet.
Well, we'll see that later.
You! What a surprise.
- It's no accident.
- It's still a chance.
You see, everything happens.
- They want to torture
and kill you.
So I couldn't.
I had to warn you.
- It is really nice.
Thank you a lot.
- You are in danger of death.
- It's annoying.
Today is Saturday,
and I have to do the market for
my parents.
- I am taking you. Go up.
Come quickly.
- Well. Okay.
But I take my Solex
with me
to maintain
my autonomy of movement.
It's all the same weird, that.
- Sacred Ballanchon.
He hid his game well
- What does it mean ?
- It's never too late
to do well.
- He starts to worry me
seriously this one.
Tell me, I'm counting on you,
in the box.
You watch me closely.
- Don't worry, Mr. Granger.
I will not lose sight of him.
- So like that,
you're a spy.
I had never seen one before.
- Beauchard's organization
is commercial.
He sells his information to the highest bidder.
- Yes I know.
And it is very sad.
- What ?
- To work without an ideal.
- Summer!
- No ! He's not going to do
this again with grandpa!
- It is indestructible.
- This guy, always the same.
- It was you who wanted ...
- So I wanted
to warn you right away.
- What could have made you
confess everything to me?
- A kind of impulse.
- So you have
sympathy for me?
- You are so ...
different from other than ...
- You're
not going to say that ...
That you...
- Yes.
- Well then...
I would never have believed ... that ...
So fast...
- Since
we left ...
well...
Here.
- Wow.
Anyway, listen, I don't have the look
of a seducer after all.
- Your intelligence,
your ... sensitivity.
Everything is expressed on your face.
In your style, you are beautiful.
- "Handsome" ?
It's not possible.
You get depressed
or you take drugs.
- Come on, enough complexes.
- Look at me.
That's it, I'm there !
It's gas.
- How? 'Or' What ?
- The gas.
- "The gas" ?
- Yes. You are conditioned
by gas.
- Is that so ?
- At your place, I had an experiment.
I made you breathe a gas.
A certain gas which ...
Finally ...
I'll explain it to you later.
In you, the effect is prolonged.
- Eh yes.
- What is your blood type ?
- Group A.
- I suspected it.
So by adding nicotine
to the formula CH 227,
there is a continuation on group A
of evolutionary inter-reactions,
and as I am from group 0,
it is easy to mate.
- You have a funny way
of talking about love.
- Luckily
we warned you.
- I told him to go pick up
Ballanchon at his house.
Where are they now?
- In any case,
my information is precise:
every Saturday
he comes here.
- Come on, "go", you.
- Don't hang around.
You are not safe here.
- You can't imagine
a ratatouille without tomatoes.
So there you would have heard it,
father.
Now I need
parsley, garlic,
shallot ...
Hydrogen, nitrogen ...
sodium chloride ...
the effect of the gas therefore resumed
delayed,
exactly like
the Indian pigs.
When you go to bed,
have you felt
ants in your paws?
Finally, in the legs?
- No.
But I felt the need
to come and tell you the whole truth.
- "The truth."
- Yes. Come on.
- I'm approaching my goal.
You are an
exceptional subject of experience .
It's all a matter
of gas density and dosage
depending on gender
and libido.
You have to be careful
in doses.
- Warning.
- What? In doses?
- No. There in the car.
- Ah!
- Here it is.
Back off!
Step back, he will shoot!
He's sick!
- He's capable of anything.
He had to be taken by surprise.
- Break his paw,
but not his head. Not the head.
- Warning !
- So what !
- Warning !
- Oh no. It's finish. No.
- The police !
Always to be involved in everything.
- Are you afraid of it?
- I want someone to leave me alone.
- Come on, hurry up.
Let's get the hell out.
You finished turning, say?
- Come on, come on.
- So what ?
- I did not see it.
- Do not touch me. It is a mistake.
It is a miscarriage of justice.
Not the handcuffs! Not the handcuffs!
Colleagues, colleagues ...
- It's extraordinary.
- It would be enough now
after analysis that I can
rebalance the components
of the gas mixture.
- And there would be no more war.
- Maybe not.
It would only be a question
of product density.
- That's wonderful.
You are a real scholar.
But you
scare me a little.
- Why ?
- It's impressive.
All it takes is a little chemistry
to create love.
- It would be better,
of course,
that, on Earth, a lot of love
allows chemistry to be dispensed with.
But it's not yet finalized.
- You think ?
- Hello, dear madam.
- Hello. Come in.
- Thank you.
Mr. Ballanchon is there?
- Yes, yes, he's here.
- Sir ...
I address myself with emotion
to the parents of a man
which I consider to be one
of our strongest national values.
- We were going to sit down to table,
but too bad. Go for it.
- But after all, madame, sir ...
World peace is in danger.
Who is the manager ? Your son.
- What did he do, that asshole?
- The poor kid.
- You must help me
protect him, despite himself.
Eugene Ballanchon,
one of our
most remarkable researchers ,
just made a discovery.
- Eugene discovered
something?
Him who is not even screwed
to find a good camenbert.
- This discovery is of interest to
National Defense
as well as a mysterious
spy organization.
- My son's secrets
don't interest me at all.
- You're not proud of him?
Eugene is a failure.
- A scholar.
- It's the same.
In other words, a criminal.
- Oh !
- What do they bring us,
your scientists? Huh?
Because of them there will be no more
birds,
more fish,
more flowers, more vines ...
and more Beaujolais.
In addition, we will all be
radioactive.
Let's talk about your scientists!
They can't even
cure us of a head cold
and they want to go to the moon
At least we may have
peace on Earth.
when all the idiots
are in the moonlight.
- We work
for the greatness of France.
- France will continue to grow well on its
own.
Since the Gauls, France
has grown up without you.
Without you having
to bottle-feed her.
- Here is. Now you are
under my protection.
Only, I warn you:
it will give them a strange blow.
My father is annoying,
but not a bad guy.
- I see myself in the obligation
to withdraw.
To the arguments of reason,
you oppose your anarchist reveries.
- He's not an anarchist.
Their bombs, next to those
of your scientists,
these are the firecrackers of July 14th.
Me, I would have been an anarchist
at 20.
But I went wrong.
I met Madame.
She was 20 years old.
Curvy, beautiful legs,
but that day, I would have done better
to break one.
- Don't be careful, he's hungry.
- Believe me, marriage
is no laughing matter.
- In life, you have to choose:
either you are happy, or you laugh.
- "Happy" ...
Do you call that happiness?
In addition, we generate an atomizer
of underdeveloped population,
an executioner of Indian pigs,
an assassin.
What is that ?
Oh it's you.
- Precisely, we were talking about you.
- What are you doing there ?
- That's what I'm wondering.
- I heard
you got to know each other.
- Um yes.
- I present to you
a little comrade.
Miss ...
What's your name again?
- Régine.
Régine Leclerc.
- "Régine." It's lovely, isn't it?
- Eugene you're not serious.
You didn't even know his name.
- Well, here it is, that is to say ...
- For a woman the name does not matter
since they take ours from us.
I'm sorry, but a woman,
there is enough of one at home.
I thought my experience
would have taught you a lesson.
- Mom, you're not going to do it
again.
- Given the profession
you practice,
let me tell you,
your demeanor is rather light.
You should select
your relationships a little better.
- And you, Mr. Granger,
I advise you to better monitor
your employees.
- Who are you talking about?
- From a certain Merchant.
- My secretary?
- Yes. He's a spy.
- Marchand, a spy?
It’s terrifying.
And who told you?
- Régine.
- But how does she know?
- She's a spy.
Finally, I'll explain that to you
later.
- He already took himself for a scientist,
there, he takes himself for James Bond.
The OSS and the 007
, these are guys!
If I want to see real spies,
I go to the movies.
- That's it, go take a walk
that will change our ideas.
- You will have to be
examined by a psychiatrist.
- Mr. Granger ...
beware of calm.
- What a family !
- We didn't ask you anything.
We must not come and piss off the world
at home.
- Gentlemen!
Gentlemen!
- I am no longer surprised that your son
is not normal.
- I am an unworthy father,
a thirsty, a loudmouth,
but I am also an assassin.
- You're welcome.
- Your father is a monster,
I don't want to see him anymore.
Let him go to hell.
- But hey, come home.
Come on, gentlemen.
What does it mean ?
Let's go !
- Eugene, we're kidnapping your father.
My teddy bear,
my beautiful teddy bear.
- For example!
- Eugene
what are we going to do, Eugene?
- I'm taking care of it.
It will cost them dearly.
- Indians !
- Thus ends
the Attack of the Indians,
first part of our show.
Don't miss
our next attraction:
Brawl in the saloon.
- I wish you a good weekend
in my little amusement park.
Today customers are jaded.
Dreams, that's what they ask for.
They are big children.
And the husband who takes his mistress off on the weekend
is happy to imagine himself on Monday
that he slept
with the sheriff's daughter.
Your stay together
will be absolutely free.
Provided that your collaborator,
Mr. Eugène Ballanchon,
give me all the information I need
about its discovery.
- He himself does not know the formula.
- Yes well I'm convinced that he
will find the formula!
And quick.
Because he likes his "daddy",
He wouldn't want us
to hurt them.
We're going to ask him
what he thinks about it.
- You are wrong.
A dramatic mistake.
- My word, he has the sweeties.
No no...
- Hello ... I would like to speak to
Professor Eugène Ballanchon.
From Mr. Beauchard.
- You will see how
I will stuff myself, me
the Ménilmontant bitterloc.
- Do you want to shut up?
It's not the moment.
- I did Verdun,
I'm more afraid of the Redskins.
- Yes, I'm waiting.
Hello? Mr. Ballanchon?
- Yes it's me.
- here Beauchard.
- Is that so ?
- I'm calling to give you
news of your little world.
They are all in good health.
For the moment.
It's up to you to keep them
in good shape.
It’s no fun for me
to torture people.
I'm not a sadist,
but you have to live well.
Give and take is a principle.
Fortunately I have some left.
- What should I do ?
- You will give me
the necessary documents,
and after verification
and control of the experience,
the charming trio will be released.
- I'll call you
to make an appointment.
- Heard.
I'll put all the pieces together ...
As soon as I have completed
a small experiment in progress.
- My poor Marchand.
What a pity
that my truth gas
is not yet
fully developed.
A small nasal spray would have been enough .
Without any suffering,
you would have taught me
where Beauchard is
and what is its headquarters.
So we'll have to
find something else
to make you talk.
Unfortunately,
it will certainly be
much more painful.
- Not that. Not that !
- To a certain extent, this
is fortunate for me.
I am a sensitive scholar.
I love animals too much
to
bring myself to make them suffer.
So you are happy
for this last experience.
- No ! No !
- You will prevent me from sacrificing
a poor little rabbit
who never hurt
anyone.
- I'll tell you everything.
- Ah, you see ...
- I don't blame you, Régine.
You didn't have the shoulders.
It wasn't your job.
While in Caracas,
you will make your way. Do you understand ?
- There isn't a morning for us
today.
- Well done, my little Ballanchon.
- It's funnier
than the Guignol.
- Quick.
- Since kindergarten,
I had not played that.
Wait. Wait for me.
- Hurry up.
- And now the sheriff
is me.
Goodbye.
- Hey, you wait a minute.
- Come, follow me.
- Chut.
The exit, please.
- It's over there.
- Go Go go !
Hurry up.
Oh ! Oh there !
Come on, let's move on. Go!
- We have to catch him.
Come on, quickly, on horseback.
What are you doing ?
Faster, damn it!
Faster !
- Oh, look
how beautiful it is.
- Oh, look at the horsemen.
- Come on, dad, faster.
- Here they are.
They are there.
- Come on. Come on.
- Do you see them, grandpa?
- I got it !
- To storm ! Charge!
To storm ! Let's charge!
Forward!
- Oh is.
Oh it is.
Where is he ?
- Oh damn !
- Hey ! hey friends
Where are you ?
Hey, wait for me.
- Here.
Look at the.
- Come on.
- Look ! Oh !
- Stop!
- Let us through.
- Goodbye !
- Well done, dad.
- And now, a little shortcut,
and we go home.
- So it's coming?
Open your barrier?
- It's not carnival yet.
Go for it.
- Go ahead, we have priority.
- Look.
- Yes, Professor,
you are a pioneer,
because with you,
everything starts
over on new bases.
And it is for me
a very great honor
of power on this day,
and in the presence of the Minister,
to be able to pay tribute
not only to the value
of an exceptional collaborator
but also
to a true friend.
- Well, applaud.
- We know
you are approaching the goal
and that your euphoric gas,
recipe for universal happiness,
is only the prelude to an
even more prodigious discovery :
a gas that will tell the truth.
Is it indiscreet to ask you
How is your research
with regard to this gas?
- They're on the right track.
It only remains for me
to experiment with the process.
- Mr. Minister,
ladies and gentlemen...
try.
- No.
- But if.
- Come on
- Professor,
I will be brief.
Because...
it is always in a few words ...
that we define genius.
- Yes.
- Ah.
The genius.
Genius, and what a genius!
The genius of science.
Ah yes.
Notice, Minister,
that science, I don't care.
All that interests me in all of this
is the cash.
I know that on this level
you will not contradict me.
Because you may be a fool,
a sinister moron,
you have nevertheless
made a fortune in politics.
But I say ...
I say bravo.
And this is very well so.
Let idealists like
Ballanchon work for us.
We should decorate it.
He deserves it.
Because after all, what,
he made himself.
With an alcoholic father,
a hysterical mother ...
yes, when you're the son
a provocateur, a bastard ...
- "A bastard", me?
Subtitling: Eclair Group
Eugene!
- Yes Dad ?
- Bring back a Camembert for tonight.
- Okay.
- Sinking but not strong.
- Heard.
- And if it stinks like yesterday,
tell the dairyman
I 'm going to crush him on the face.
- I'll tell him, dad.
- No Camembert.
- Why, no camenbert?
- It's bad for your bitterness.
- My "bitterness"!
My "bitterness"!
It’s you who make me
bitter.
- And soon their golden wedding.
And they want me to get married!
- Hi, Ballanchon.
- Hello.
- Hello.
- Hello, Mr. Ballanchon.
- Hello.
- Hello professor.
- One more minute, and he'll die.
- Hello, Professor.
- Hello.
- Hello, Professor.
- Hello.
- So Oscar?
How is it going this morning ?
- Very agitated, as always,
professor.
- Tonight, we'll have to give him
a sedative.
- That way, Oscar will have a big sleep.
Huh?
- Drink well, it will drop
the temperature.
- Ballanchon worries us,
Mr. Director.
- He does not confide in anyone,
he works in secret.
- You know that's his nature.
- He suckles little rabbits.
Single, no children ...
Small complex of
fatherly frustration .
Nothing serious.
- This time, it's serious,
he loses control.
The assistant he fired ...
says he's looking to experiment
on his guinea pigs ...
a mysterious gas.
- Explosive?
- Do we ever know.
It would be an odorless gas,
which would attack the control
of the conscious personality.
He would lift all inhibitions,
all prohibitions.
A gas of truth in a way.
- If he succeeds ...
- Are you kidding?
- Not at all.
What a discovery that would be
for National Defense.
My dear, with Ballanchon,
you have to expect everything.
- This time, it's too much.
We will explain ourselves.
He's an assassin,
a public danger.
Is Mr. Ballanchon doing his?
He's going to see me coming.
Ballanchon this time
we will explain ourselves !
Sacred Ballanchon.
One day you'll blow
up the box,
and us with,
sprayed! disintegrated!
What a pretty fireworks display!
Definitely, with you,
there is no risk of getting bored.
Ballanchon,
I must kiss you.
See you soon.
I leave you to work.
See you next time.
- It's not exactly what
I was looking for,
But meanwhile,
it put him in a good mood.
- What an extraordinary being.
The joy of living with Ballanchon.
What an exquisite, delicious, refined being.
Ballanchon!
Ballanchon!
- Get that corrected
for the signature.
AlIo? Here?
DST? Yes, I am not quitting.
Hello? Yes hello.
What? Ah, spies.
You see them everywhere, spies.
It is a vice.
I answer for all my collaborators.
But no not at all.
If you are told that the Americans
have the atomic bomb,
know that the leaks do
not come from us.
- Don't go, he's furious.
- I didn't expect so much.
Am I bothering you ?
- If it's to try your
truth gas , I tell you:
you piss me off, Ballanchon!
- Yes Yes. I know,
Director.
I know, fuck you.
But alas, it's not my gas
that makes you say it.
We're not there yet.
- So what do you want?
- I just wanted to ask you
to breathe.
To breathe slowly. Come on.
Breathe.
- Breathe. Breathe.
Do you think I have time to breathe?
that I want to breathe?
When the DST
imagine that we are a nest of spies.
Ballanchon ...
the situation is dramatic.
You hear me ? Dramatic.
Ballanchon ...
There were leaks.
- No ! So what ?
- So...
we are cut off all credit
pending the outcome of the investigation.
- It's not true.
- 3 billions.
3 billion
I was counting on ...
Under one's nose.
- 3 billions...
- It's ruin.
It's a disaster,
it's a disaster.
It is the Bérézina.
- It's Waterloo.
- It does me good
that you are the first to know,
because I have...
I have such affection for you.
- Me too, Mr. Granger.
-
Will you allow me to kiss you?
- Yes.
- Again.
- It seems to work,
my little thing.
- What are you telling ?
- I have the impression of having made
a strange discovery.
- Hello, Mr. Marchand.
- Hello, Elise.
- It's fantastic.
a gas that makes you euphoric and good.
It is the absolute weapon.
You imagine
a euphoric army
kissing the enemy
and singing the national anthem
to celebrate the defeat.
- It's a question of quantity.
- We are saved.
My fortune ...
Our fortune is made.
Give me the formula for your gas.
-Ben...
It is that. ..
- "Is that" what?
- I do not have it.
- What?
- Well, not yet.
It's by dropping my
cigarette ash in a preparation
that everything started to bubble.
That's kind of how Fleming
discovered penicillin.
By accident.
- And is that all you have left?
- Ben ... I know more or less
the components.
I will manage to analyze it.
- We just have to hope so.
Tell me,
how long does its effect last ?
- To see the look you are doing
now ...
about 1 minute.
- It is insufficient, we must maintain
the enemy
at least an hour
in a state of euphoria.
Today, in 1 minute, we win
a battle, but not the war.
- A little more ...
- No, unhappy man.
No waste.
I prefer to stay in a bad mood
I'm used to it.
First of all,
to find the formula,
you have all my credits.
You have priority
over other searches.
As for your safety ...
- Oh no. Especially no surveillance.
I want my freedom.
And no DST, eh.
- As you wish.
- You understand,
I don't want to
to be locked
in a blockhouse.
I have parents to support.
I have to take care of it.
- You have my word.
For starters,
what do you need?
- Leave me alone.
- You will have it.
Ballanchon,
still give me
a little puff.
Oh !
- Ok
- Mr. Beauchard!
- So show the
Fort Apache model to Mr. Baron.
- Hello. It's okay ?
- In the cowboy genre,
that's what we do
best for the summer.
- The edges are not too wide
for my husband's height?
On foot you don't realize
you have to see it on horseback.
- You think ?
- The horse changes everything.
- If Monsieur le Baron will
take the trouble ...
- You know, even on horseback ...
- What do you want, madam,
it's class.
Let Monsieur le Baron
find a reason for himself.
Monsieur le Baron will never look
like a cow keeper.
Try the
Mexican style at M. le Baron . You never know.
I listen.
- There's something new in the center.
Ballanchon made a discovery which
he describes as "extraordinary".
I couldn't find out what.
- Well done.
- I was disturbed.
I am wary.
We're talking about espionage at the box.
- There were still leaks
in the leaks.
What does
your guy look like ?
- Apart from science, it's not a light.
- If you take him for a moron
it must not be that stupid.
We will have to be wary of this Ballanchon.
- This time he's going to hear me.
Ballanchon!
- Your mission
will be particularly delicate.
Remember:
he doesn't want DST.
It is about protecting him
without his noticing it.
Ballanchon is an unconscious.
And he's stubborn, the animal.
- We usually.
We were in the security service of
the President of the Republic.
- Ah! So...
- If he continues to reduce credits
like that, we will end up on a tandem.
- To follow
it would be more practical.
- I told you not to breathe
when I pass the second.
After the slalom,
high aerobatics. Definitely ...
- Some blood !
- The women !
They are crushing you,
and you have to pick them up.
- That's the guy.
He was spinning like crazy.
A real racing car. He ran
the red light and ran over the girl.
- It does not matter M agent
I have nothing broken.
- And you think that's funny ?
it's going to cost you dearly,
my dear .
Poor daughter.
- It's emotion.
It's nothing.
Women pass out easily.
- But you're a bastard too!
- My God, what a shock.
- I suspect it.
- I was scared
when I knocked you over.
- It was you, on foot,
who knocked him down?
- No. I was in the car.
- Ah! So the pedestrian was you.
- No. Me, I did not start
fast enough.
- So you knocked her down.
- No. It was I
who knocked him down.
- Enough politeness.
Who was the pedestrian?
- It's me, Agent.
- You leave me alone!
Well. So...
Who was the pedestrian?
- There was no pedestrian.
- What?
- I have never run over a pedestrian
in my life, Agent, and I ...
- So there, it will end badly.
I'll take you
both away.
It is there, the bus, it is there.
- But since neither of us are complaining
.
- In any case, do not come to be run over
in my area.
- Since I told you, Agent ...
- that you saw a racing car.
- I have seen everything.
- Well, it's nothing
compared to what you're going to see.
Come on, the bus, the bus.
- But but...
- We need to disinfect
your wounds.
- These are just simple
abrasions.
- I have a first aid kit
in my car.
- My compliments. You are
an organized woman.
- Let's say far-sighted.
- Oh, it's me
which stretches it.
- It'll sting, right?
- Calm down.
Haven't you broken anything?
- No. it's okay, everything works.
- No fractured skull?
- No. I know how to receive myself.
I took judo lessons
from the universal school.
I am a black belt
by correspondence.
- You are strong,
but do not assume your strength.
- Don't worry,
I'm in great shape.
- And then
in 5 minutes you might collapse.
- No no.
- I live near here. Come and have
a glass of cognac.
It is more careful.
- Careful, careful ...
Do you think so?
- But it's an order.
- Ah.
- I almost killed you.
You are my first two-wheeler.
- There, you're right,
it's watering.
- It's gonna end in a wedding.
- You'll see,
the grooms of honor
gonna be good
for night duty.
Here, look. Here.
- You are right.
- With all those red lights,
it's fucked up.
- No. They have something else in mind
than the performance index.
- You look worried.
I put you late.
You can call
from home.
You are married ?
- No, old boy.
- "Old", that does not suit you.
I prefer "single".
Do you live with your parents?
- No. They are the ones
who live with me.
- You're a good kid.
- I don't blame them anymore
for bringing me into the world.
With age, you get used to it.
- Pessimistic?
- No.
Optimism is seeing
things as they are.
We can only have
good surprises.
Me, I am optimistic,
I always expect the worst.
- With me too
you expect the worst?
I live on the 1st floor.
I show you the way.
Come in.
Get rid of it.
- It doesn't hold,
your coat rack.
- You are well equipped.
- When you ride on two wheels,
you have to have everything on hand.
Then I am very handy.
- Some music ?
-Of course.
- How do you like it ?
- It's very, very pretty.
Music is therapy
for certain neuroses.
- It's exciting.
- Thank you.
We had a
very curious experience :
we woke up an Indian pig to
music.
- It is charming.
- Well, after a month,
he was
twice as big as the other lnde pigs.
- This is terrible.
- Influence of morale
on the physical.
- Do you work
in a laboratory?
- In a laboratory ?
Why ?
- Uh ... Well, you're talking
about Indian pigs.
- I love animals.
- And apart from the music
- loving pigs of India, what interests you?
- Live.
- It's not a goal.
- Do you think so?
- You do have a passion.
- She's "number one", this kid.
The American class, what.
- I believe that we must
take life as it comes,
pleasure as it comes,
and never
ask questions.
- Like all women,
you prefer to ask others.
- Him, with his
average French "sleeping water" air ,
he doesn't inspire confidence in me.
- He's pretty sneaky.
- But do you think!
It is the retarded infant
who is still crying for his mother.
She's going to swaddle him,
the "baby".
- You are strange, mysterious.
- Only the mystery interests me.
Our meeting...
- It's wonderful, chance.
- I don't believe in chance.
- Ah.
- It's no accident
that you knocked me down.
- However...
- I'm not saying
you did it on purpose.
- I hope so.
- But somehow,
it was written.
What do you think ?
- I think it's disturbing
to be like this,
both...
Without knowing who we are.
- It is true.
I don't know anything about you,
or you, nothing about me.
You could have had
the face of my death.
You will be a
smile for a day.
- Wait for me...
poet.
- We don't hear them anymore.
How come ?
We can't hear anything anymore.
- I'm telling you
that's a pretty good sign.
In the pocket, the Ballanchon.
- I told you that
he was hiding his game, the scholar.
- What do you mean ?
- She'll have to go there.
- She's not used
to sleeping with the first comer.
- You know something.
- Relax, guys. Take it easy !
- Do not get impatient, I'm coming.
- I've got plenty of time.
- We can't hear anything.
- He must be
giving her his formula.
- I'm telling you that the Solex
is a girl's thing.
- Here it comes out.
- We haven't got home yet.
- Let's go.
- Ah! There you are, Eugene.
- What happened ?
- The house is in the dark.
- Well, a breakdown.
- No, your mother.
- You're just a sweetie.
- You would like
to send me to the asylum.
- It is not serious.
The pellets have blown.
- No, the pellets
didn't blow.
Weights do not jump.
- So what ?
- We blow them up.
And who blew them up?
Your mother.
And why ?
To piss me off.
Perfectly.
One day
, your mother will blow up the neighborhood.
- We had to put them back.
- Monsieur is a good-for-nothing.
- You would like me to electrocute myself,
so that you can start your life over.
- That's smart.
- Leave it to me, dad,
I'll take care of it.
- You heard it, your mother, didn't you?
Tonight, you were a witness.
My life, you see what it is.
- Yes. A short circuit,
like the day before yesterday.
- Having fought two wars,
having escaped three times
and find
yourself prisoner of a shrew
in a suburban pavilion,
gosh ...
- You shouldn't tell me that you loved me
for life
- My heart was bigger
than my stomach.
- It's here.
Be careful, the boss wants us
to bring him back alive.
- There is no light.
Maybe he hasn't come home.
- Go see, Mario.
- Come on, Mario. Quick !
- He's crazy, this guy.
Quick, quick, quick, quick, quick.
- Oh, my arm.
- I assure you, I heard gunshots.
- It was an exhaust pipe.
- Ah, that's not enough for you?
This time around, you will understand.
- If we ever shot him
, what are we going to take.
Started !
Get into that car. Quick !
- When you have finished having fun,
you can
think about the light?
- Yes Dad.
- We're holding it back, your nimbus.
- We didn't see where it came from.
- A crazy.
- A madman.
- Hang up your guns
and buy some guitars.
You have a future
as duettists.
- to have it alive ...
- It's not our job.
- Because you think you're
killers?
And that criticizes the Americans.
But in the states of guys like you,
we wouldn't pay them union rate.
I can no longer get used
to small artisans.
I will take care of it since in France
you have to do everything yourself
- So this time, understood.
With this twisted, no zeal.
We follow him from afar,
we make presence.
You've put on weight
since yesterday.
- No, but I took my precautions:
I put on my little wool.
- But what's going on?
It's a flood.
It was you who wanted to tinker?
- No, it's your mother.
- Where is that from ?
- Ask your father.
- Is that a pipe?
- No, a tap.
- What faucet?
- the one your father refused to close.
- It is your mother who opened it,
it is your mother who will close it.
Let's see
It is terrible.
I can't leave you alone anymore.
- When you're there, she plots.
And with me, she's having fun.
- I don't have to turn off a tap
that I did not open.
it's a principle.
- In principle your mother refuses
to close anything,
even its valve.
-
You opened the tap .
- No it's you.
- Besides,
I couldn't believe my eyes:
finally your father decided
to take a bath.
- Liar! I took one
last Sunday.
It was Mother's Day.
I'd rather get the hell out of it.
I'll drown it eventually.
- That's it.
Dry your feet before you go out.
- Unworthy mother, go.
- He annoys me, he annoys me, he annoys me!
- Mom, please
don't cry.
There is already enough to mop up
like this.
- So far.
- Professor Eugène Ballanchon please?
- Take off your shoes
and go upstream.
- Where is it ?
- Professor Ballanchon?
- It's me, yes.
- I'm from DST.
I came on behalf of Mr. Granger.
- Oh no, that's enough for today.
- We've been tasked
with protecting you.
- You will say from me
to that pig of Granger ...
- Tell him yourself.
He's waiting for you in my car,
he didn't dare come.
- I would like someone to leave me alone.
It would be nice if
they left me alone.
- Do not worry.
- He doesn't dare show himself?
- Mr. Granger had
to consider above all
The interest of National Defense.
- Is that so ?
- It's okay, his Solex is there.
- I bet he eats.
- Well, we'll do the same.
Ah! Ham.
- Please excuse these
somewhat cavalier methods .
Think of them
as a tribute.
It proves that I don't take you
for a fool.
- It also proves
that you are.
With your gangster methods, what
do you expect from me?
- I do not live hope and I will
explain it to you in a moment.
I am convinced,
professor,
that you won't make me lose
my self-control
by forcing me to use
methods
that I myself disapprove of.
I'll leave you one night
to think it over.
I'll meet you tomorrow morning,
and I am sure you will give me
the formula.
You have everything you need.
See you tomorrow.
What is it ?
- When I think all it takes is
a shot or a gas
so that you are a hero
instead of a traitor.
- What the French
can be nationalists.
- You send
your information well.
- Ah, sorry,
Mr. Ballanchon.
I don't pass them on,
I sell them: nuance.
- Oh yes, nuance.
You are not a traitor,
you are a sold
- The richest
are the strongest.
The reason for the stronger is the better.
By selling to the highest bidder
I am always sure to serve
the cause of intelligence.
- Have you thought about the fools
who could make you rifle?
without trying to understand?
- When you're shot for
money, you don't die for nothing.
Come on.
And if you want to play Romeo,
know that at the bottom of the window,
I have placed two Juliets
as effeminate as these gentlemen.
Careful, eh?
It's understood ?
- OKAY.
- 6-21 in half.
- He cut his veins.
- Didn't he do that?
The boss will break us.
Where is he ?
Open!
Open!
- Well. This is not
the right formula yet.
Well, we'll see that later.
You! What a surprise.
- It's no accident.
- It's still a chance.
You see, everything happens.
- They want to torture
and kill you.
So I couldn't.
I had to warn you.
- It is really nice.
Thank you a lot.
- You are in danger of death.
- It's annoying.
Today is Saturday,
and I have to do the market for
my parents.
- I am taking you. Go up.
Come quickly.
- Well. Okay.
But I take my Solex
with me
to maintain
my autonomy of movement.
It's all the same weird, that.
- Sacred Ballanchon.
He hid his game well
- What does it mean ?
- It's never too late
to do well.
- He starts to worry me
seriously this one.
Tell me, I'm counting on you,
in the box.
You watch me closely.
- Don't worry, Mr. Granger.
I will not lose sight of him.
- So like that,
you're a spy.
I had never seen one before.
- Beauchard's organization
is commercial.
He sells his information to the highest bidder.
- Yes I know.
And it is very sad.
- What ?
- To work without an ideal.
- Summer!
- No ! He's not going to do
this again with grandpa!
- It is indestructible.
- This guy, always the same.
- It was you who wanted ...
- So I wanted
to warn you right away.
- What could have made you
confess everything to me?
- A kind of impulse.
- So you have
sympathy for me?
- You are so ...
different from other than ...
- You're
not going to say that ...
That you...
- Yes.
- Well then...
I would never have believed ... that ...
So fast...
- Since
we left ...
well...
Here.
- Wow.
Anyway, listen, I don't have the look
of a seducer after all.
- Your intelligence,
your ... sensitivity.
Everything is expressed on your face.
In your style, you are beautiful.
- "Handsome" ?
It's not possible.
You get depressed
or you take drugs.
- Come on, enough complexes.
- Look at me.
That's it, I'm there !
It's gas.
- How? 'Or' What ?
- The gas.
- "The gas" ?
- Yes. You are conditioned
by gas.
- Is that so ?
- At your place, I had an experiment.
I made you breathe a gas.
A certain gas which ...
Finally ...
I'll explain it to you later.
In you, the effect is prolonged.
- Eh yes.
- What is your blood type ?
- Group A.
- I suspected it.
So by adding nicotine
to the formula CH 227,
there is a continuation on group A
of evolutionary inter-reactions,
and as I am from group 0,
it is easy to mate.
- You have a funny way
of talking about love.
- Luckily
we warned you.
- I told him to go pick up
Ballanchon at his house.
Where are they now?
- In any case,
my information is precise:
every Saturday
he comes here.
- Come on, "go", you.
- Don't hang around.
You are not safe here.
- You can't imagine
a ratatouille without tomatoes.
So there you would have heard it,
father.
Now I need
parsley, garlic,
shallot ...
Hydrogen, nitrogen ...
sodium chloride ...
the effect of the gas therefore resumed
delayed,
exactly like
the Indian pigs.
When you go to bed,
have you felt
ants in your paws?
Finally, in the legs?
- No.
But I felt the need
to come and tell you the whole truth.
- "The truth."
- Yes. Come on.
- I'm approaching my goal.
You are an
exceptional subject of experience .
It's all a matter
of gas density and dosage
depending on gender
and libido.
You have to be careful
in doses.
- Warning.
- What? In doses?
- No. There in the car.
- Ah!
- Here it is.
Back off!
Step back, he will shoot!
He's sick!
- He's capable of anything.
He had to be taken by surprise.
- Break his paw,
but not his head. Not the head.
- Warning !
- So what !
- Warning !
- Oh no. It's finish. No.
- The police !
Always to be involved in everything.
- Are you afraid of it?
- I want someone to leave me alone.
- Come on, hurry up.
Let's get the hell out.
You finished turning, say?
- Come on, come on.
- So what ?
- I did not see it.
- Do not touch me. It is a mistake.
It is a miscarriage of justice.
Not the handcuffs! Not the handcuffs!
Colleagues, colleagues ...
- It's extraordinary.
- It would be enough now
after analysis that I can
rebalance the components
of the gas mixture.
- And there would be no more war.
- Maybe not.
It would only be a question
of product density.
- That's wonderful.
You are a real scholar.
But you
scare me a little.
- Why ?
- It's impressive.
All it takes is a little chemistry
to create love.
- It would be better,
of course,
that, on Earth, a lot of love
allows chemistry to be dispensed with.
But it's not yet finalized.
- You think ?
- Hello, dear madam.
- Hello. Come in.
- Thank you.
Mr. Ballanchon is there?
- Yes, yes, he's here.
- Sir ...
I address myself with emotion
to the parents of a man
which I consider to be one
of our strongest national values.
- We were going to sit down to table,
but too bad. Go for it.
- But after all, madame, sir ...
World peace is in danger.
Who is the manager ? Your son.
- What did he do, that asshole?
- The poor kid.
- You must help me
protect him, despite himself.
Eugene Ballanchon,
one of our
most remarkable researchers ,
just made a discovery.
- Eugene discovered
something?
Him who is not even screwed
to find a good camenbert.
- This discovery is of interest to
National Defense
as well as a mysterious
spy organization.
- My son's secrets
don't interest me at all.
- You're not proud of him?
Eugene is a failure.
- A scholar.
- It's the same.
In other words, a criminal.
- Oh !
- What do they bring us,
your scientists? Huh?
Because of them there will be no more
birds,
more fish,
more flowers, more vines ...
and more Beaujolais.
In addition, we will all be
radioactive.
Let's talk about your scientists!
They can't even
cure us of a head cold
and they want to go to the moon
At least we may have
peace on Earth.
when all the idiots
are in the moonlight.
- We work
for the greatness of France.
- France will continue to grow well on its
own.
Since the Gauls, France
has grown up without you.
Without you having
to bottle-feed her.
- Here is. Now you are
under my protection.
Only, I warn you:
it will give them a strange blow.
My father is annoying,
but not a bad guy.
- I see myself in the obligation
to withdraw.
To the arguments of reason,
you oppose your anarchist reveries.
- He's not an anarchist.
Their bombs, next to those
of your scientists,
these are the firecrackers of July 14th.
Me, I would have been an anarchist
at 20.
But I went wrong.
I met Madame.
She was 20 years old.
Curvy, beautiful legs,
but that day, I would have done better
to break one.
- Don't be careful, he's hungry.
- Believe me, marriage
is no laughing matter.
- In life, you have to choose:
either you are happy, or you laugh.
- "Happy" ...
Do you call that happiness?
In addition, we generate an atomizer
of underdeveloped population,
an executioner of Indian pigs,
an assassin.
What is that ?
Oh it's you.
- Precisely, we were talking about you.
- What are you doing there ?
- That's what I'm wondering.
- I heard
you got to know each other.
- Um yes.
- I present to you
a little comrade.
Miss ...
What's your name again?
- Régine.
Régine Leclerc.
- "Régine." It's lovely, isn't it?
- Eugene you're not serious.
You didn't even know his name.
- Well, here it is, that is to say ...
- For a woman the name does not matter
since they take ours from us.
I'm sorry, but a woman,
there is enough of one at home.
I thought my experience
would have taught you a lesson.
- Mom, you're not going to do it
again.
- Given the profession
you practice,
let me tell you,
your demeanor is rather light.
You should select
your relationships a little better.
- And you, Mr. Granger,
I advise you to better monitor
your employees.
- Who are you talking about?
- From a certain Merchant.
- My secretary?
- Yes. He's a spy.
- Marchand, a spy?
It’s terrifying.
And who told you?
- Régine.
- But how does she know?
- She's a spy.
Finally, I'll explain that to you
later.
- He already took himself for a scientist,
there, he takes himself for James Bond.
The OSS and the 007
, these are guys!
If I want to see real spies,
I go to the movies.
- That's it, go take a walk
that will change our ideas.
- You will have to be
examined by a psychiatrist.
- Mr. Granger ...
beware of calm.
- What a family !
- We didn't ask you anything.
We must not come and piss off the world
at home.
- Gentlemen!
Gentlemen!
- I am no longer surprised that your son
is not normal.
- I am an unworthy father,
a thirsty, a loudmouth,
but I am also an assassin.
- You're welcome.
- Your father is a monster,
I don't want to see him anymore.
Let him go to hell.
- But hey, come home.
Come on, gentlemen.
What does it mean ?
Let's go !
- Eugene, we're kidnapping your father.
My teddy bear,
my beautiful teddy bear.
- For example!
- Eugene
what are we going to do, Eugene?
- I'm taking care of it.
It will cost them dearly.
- Indians !
- Thus ends
the Attack of the Indians,
first part of our show.
Don't miss
our next attraction:
Brawl in the saloon.
- I wish you a good weekend
in my little amusement park.
Today customers are jaded.
Dreams, that's what they ask for.
They are big children.
And the husband who takes his mistress off on the weekend
is happy to imagine himself on Monday
that he slept
with the sheriff's daughter.
Your stay together
will be absolutely free.
Provided that your collaborator,
Mr. Eugène Ballanchon,
give me all the information I need
about its discovery.
- He himself does not know the formula.
- Yes well I'm convinced that he
will find the formula!
And quick.
Because he likes his "daddy",
He wouldn't want us
to hurt them.
We're going to ask him
what he thinks about it.
- You are wrong.
A dramatic mistake.
- My word, he has the sweeties.
No no...
- Hello ... I would like to speak to
Professor Eugène Ballanchon.
From Mr. Beauchard.
- You will see how
I will stuff myself, me
the Ménilmontant bitterloc.
- Do you want to shut up?
It's not the moment.
- I did Verdun,
I'm more afraid of the Redskins.
- Yes, I'm waiting.
Hello? Mr. Ballanchon?
- Yes it's me.
- here Beauchard.
- Is that so ?
- I'm calling to give you
news of your little world.
They are all in good health.
For the moment.
It's up to you to keep them
in good shape.
It’s no fun for me
to torture people.
I'm not a sadist,
but you have to live well.
Give and take is a principle.
Fortunately I have some left.
- What should I do ?
- You will give me
the necessary documents,
and after verification
and control of the experience,
the charming trio will be released.
- I'll call you
to make an appointment.
- Heard.
I'll put all the pieces together ...
As soon as I have completed
a small experiment in progress.
- My poor Marchand.
What a pity
that my truth gas
is not yet
fully developed.
A small nasal spray would have been enough .
Without any suffering,
you would have taught me
where Beauchard is
and what is its headquarters.
So we'll have to
find something else
to make you talk.
Unfortunately,
it will certainly be
much more painful.
- Not that. Not that !
- To a certain extent, this
is fortunate for me.
I am a sensitive scholar.
I love animals too much
to
bring myself to make them suffer.
So you are happy
for this last experience.
- No ! No !
- You will prevent me from sacrificing
a poor little rabbit
who never hurt
anyone.
- I'll tell you everything.
- Ah, you see ...
- I don't blame you, Régine.
You didn't have the shoulders.
It wasn't your job.
While in Caracas,
you will make your way. Do you understand ?
- There isn't a morning for us
today.
- Well done, my little Ballanchon.
- It's funnier
than the Guignol.
- Quick.
- Since kindergarten,
I had not played that.
Wait. Wait for me.
- Hurry up.
- And now the sheriff
is me.
Goodbye.
- Hey, you wait a minute.
- Come, follow me.
- Chut.
The exit, please.
- It's over there.
- Go Go go !
Hurry up.
Oh ! Oh there !
Come on, let's move on. Go!
- We have to catch him.
Come on, quickly, on horseback.
What are you doing ?
Faster, damn it!
Faster !
- Oh, look
how beautiful it is.
- Oh, look at the horsemen.
- Come on, dad, faster.
- Here they are.
They are there.
- Come on. Come on.
- Do you see them, grandpa?
- I got it !
- To storm ! Charge!
To storm ! Let's charge!
Forward!
- Oh is.
Oh it is.
Where is he ?
- Oh damn !
- Hey ! hey friends
Where are you ?
Hey, wait for me.
- Here.
Look at the.
- Come on.
- Look ! Oh !
- Stop!
- Let us through.
- Goodbye !
- Well done, dad.
- And now, a little shortcut,
and we go home.
- So it's coming?
Open your barrier?
- It's not carnival yet.
Go for it.
- Go ahead, we have priority.
- Look.
- Yes, Professor,
you are a pioneer,
because with you,
everything starts
over on new bases.
And it is for me
a very great honor
of power on this day,
and in the presence of the Minister,
to be able to pay tribute
not only to the value
of an exceptional collaborator
but also
to a true friend.
- Well, applaud.
- We know
you are approaching the goal
and that your euphoric gas,
recipe for universal happiness,
is only the prelude to an
even more prodigious discovery :
a gas that will tell the truth.
Is it indiscreet to ask you
How is your research
with regard to this gas?
- They're on the right track.
It only remains for me
to experiment with the process.
- Mr. Minister,
ladies and gentlemen...
try.
- No.
- But if.
- Come on
- Professor,
I will be brief.
Because...
it is always in a few words ...
that we define genius.
- Yes.
- Ah.
The genius.
Genius, and what a genius!
The genius of science.
Ah yes.
Notice, Minister,
that science, I don't care.
All that interests me in all of this
is the cash.
I know that on this level
you will not contradict me.
Because you may be a fool,
a sinister moron,
you have nevertheless
made a fortune in politics.
But I say ...
I say bravo.
And this is very well so.
Let idealists like
Ballanchon work for us.
We should decorate it.
He deserves it.
Because after all, what,
he made himself.
With an alcoholic father,
a hysterical mother ...
yes, when you're the son
a provocateur, a bastard ...
- "A bastard", me?
Subtitling: Eclair Group