Laura Gets a Cat (2017) - full transcript
Laura, an unemployed writer in New York City, tries to juggle an unexciting boyfriend, an affair with a performance artist, and a vivid imaginary life.
[waves rumbling]
- Being an artist and
being a businessman
are equally important to me.
They both serve very different,
yet very critical functions.
Obviously, the business side
allows me to live a
certain lifestyle,
or to have a life at all.
And the artist side,
also obviously,
nourishes my soul.
But you gotta grow
up at some point.
Struggling certainly
loses its charm.
When my corporate
survival job gets
too much for me to handle,
I can steal an hour or two
and just do a
little playwriting.
After bath time, after bedtime,
a glass of single malt scotch.
That's what's important to me.
You know?
It's important to me because I
haven't given up on anything.
I haven't cashed in.
I don't see it as a compromise.
- Hmm.
- Yeah.
I feel the same way.
I know that you think,
a house in the suburbs,
kids, cars, we gave
up our artistic--
- I don't think that.
- [Alice] I know you do.
Because I used to.
- I don't.
You don't know what I think.
- Well, I'm still a dancer.
- I know.
- I'm a mommy but I'm
still very much a dancer.
- Alice, I know.
- Okay, I'm just saying.
- Well, you don't
have to be saying.
Look, guys, this is fantastic.
Thank you for having me,
it's been refreshing.
- Yeah, any time.
- Yeah, it's no problem.
The train station is so close.
We're still so
close to the city.
[dog barking]
- So, Laura, what's new?
- I finished a
draft of my novel.
- You know what?
I'm feeling inspired.
I'm gonna go do
some playwriting.
I'll leave you two
ladies to the fire.
And if you need anything,
I'll be upstairs hammering away.
- Okay, have fun.
- I still remember
that one play he wrote.
- Oh God, that was
like 10 years ago.
- Really?
Time is just--
- I know.
Jack is gonna be
five next month.
- We're getting old.
- You're not, I am.
- Uh, I am, trust me.
- Look at you.
What's your secret?
- Drink more wine than beer.
Don't have kids.
- Exactly, don't
have fucking kids.
[laughing]
No, I love them though, I do.
- Oh, they're amazing.
- So, when are you
gonna get married?
- Oh, okay.
- Well, what's wrong with Tom?
- It's just not what
we're doing right now.
We don't even live together.
- Trust me, I had the same
reservations about Scott,
but now everything's perfect.
- [Woman] I know.
- And you gotta have kids soon
or you'll reach that
advanced maternal age.
- Yeah.
- And it doesn't matter
how much yoga you do.
- Woo.
[laughing]
- [Alice] I'm sorry.
- This just got heavy, huh?
- No, I'm that girl.
- I really love this fire pit.
[woman sexually moaning]
[pleasant music]
- [Adam] Thank you for joining
us here on Literature Today.
My guest is Mariah Flannery.
Best-selling author,
also a wife and mother.
Welcome, Mariah.
- [Mariah] It is an honor
to be on your podcast, Adam.
I listen all the time
when I'm walking my dog.
- [Adam] That is so terrific.
Now you started doing this
just a couple of years ago?
- [Mariah] I always
wanted to be a writer
so I just did it.
Just to see what would come out.
- [Adam Voiceover] And
fortunately for us,
what came out was
PS Supernatural,
a love story set
in a high school,
but not your
typical high school.
No, things here get a
little, well, supernatural.
- [Mariah] That's right.
From the very beginning, from
the morning announcements,
you don't know who's a
vampire, who's a zombie,
who's a mythical sort of--
- [Adam] It's fantastic.
- [Mariah] Thank you.
- [Adam] And very
successful, may I add.
This book is flying
off the selves.
- [Mariah] Mark jokes
about how he gets
to quit his job
now and I'm like,
"No, if you're home all day
I'll never write the sequel!"
[Mariah and Adam laughing]
♪ Oh yeah
- [Girl] Hey, Laura.
[intense rock music]
- It just all
happened so quickly.
You know, I'm backstage
with the band,
and it's late afternoon, so
it's like a real weird time,
and then there's Jimmy Kimmel
and he's doing his thing,
and he's actually pretty funny,
then all of a sudden
we're just out there
and it's so surreal.
You know, I felt like a big
light was gonna fall on my head.
[laughing]
I was thinking to myself,
okay, well, this is it.
You're gonna die.
Because that's the only thing
that can ruin your career
at this point.
And that way, you'll
go down in history
not for your music but
because you're the girl
who died on Kimmel.
- You guys were amazing.
- Oh God, it was so hard
to focus on the music,
but you just, like,
have to, you know?
- I'm so happy for you.
- I'm so happy for me.
- You should be!
[laughing]
- Cheers.
- Yeah!
- So, how are you?
How's the novel going?
- I finished.
- Yes, amazing.
- Well, I finished a draft.
- Still?
- It's really not a big deal.
- Uh, you wrote a whole novel.
How many people can say that?
- A lot it seems.
- Okay.
- So do people ask you
when you're getting married
or having kids?
- No.
I don't even have a boyfriend.
- Nobody gives
you shit for that?
I feel like there's
something wrong with me.
I don't even have a cat.
- Who wants a fucking cat?
- Do you think it's
because you're a musician?
- I think so.
People just assume I'm too
unstable for that stuff.
- I want people to
assume that about me.
Why don't they?
- You kind of have
a stable vibe.
- I don't want a stable vibe.
Do we need to do tequila
shots or something?
- Yeah, all right,
I'll do shots.
- Yes, I'm gonna go get them.
I'm fucking serious.
[somber music]
[man laughing]
- [Man] Good night with Heidi?
- I mean, come on,
Jimmy fucking Kimmel.
And I don't want to
be jealous, you know.
Everyone's all fucking on
her dick all day on Facebook
and she does all
these amazing things.
- Come in here.
- I just wanna come in here.
- [Man] Come on into this bed.
- Yeah, I just want to come
into this bed.
Thank you for
letting me come over.
- Stop thanking me.
You have a key.
- I know, but still.
Okay, I promise,
tomorrow we are gonna
have a fun weekend.
- Hey, you got drunk,
it's no biggie.
- I'm such a fuck-up.
- No, you're not.
- Why are you even with me?
- Come on, babe, let's
not go down this road.
- Wait, no, are you horny?
Because I'm sorry, I'm
too drunk for that.
[chuckling]
- I'm fine.
- I'm such a fucking mess.
I'm not big and
successful like Heidi.
- You can't keep comparing
yourself to everyone else.
- I know, I know.
I know that, I know.
- You're doing fine.
All you have to do
tonight is go to sleep.
- Are you mad 'cause I'm
just a weekend girlfriend?
- You're not just a
weekend girlfriend.
- I always leave on Sunday.
- Why don't we talk
about it tomorrow?
- Why, because I'm drunk?
[laughing]
- Yes, because you're
drunk and I'm tired.
- We're okay, right?
- We're perfect.
- I have to say, I think you're
a lot prettier in person.
- Oh, please.
- No, brains and beauty
is a rare combination.
- [Laura] Well, thank you, Adam.
- So, you ready?
- [Laura] Mhmm.
[pleasant music]
- Welcome to Literature Today.
The podcast that covers writers
that are very right now.
I'm here with Laura Snow,
the author of The
Ends of Things.
- It's an honor to be
on your show, Adam.
I listen to it while
I'm walking my dog.
- Oh.
What kind of dog do you have?
- I don't.
I made that up.
I...
- Well, that's, I...
The Ends of Things.
Is that something you
know a lot about, Laura?
- I guess so.
- This book flies in
the face of convention.
It takes all the
rules of literature
and just breaks them all apart.
- Oh, I don't know about that.
- It blew me away.
You are a genius writer, Laura.
Now, you're from
Wisconsin, is that right?
- [Laura] Originally, yes.
- But your perspective
is so much--
- I have lived all over.
I've traveled so much.
I've been, I don't know how
many different countries.
- Well, that is obvious.
I'm just gonna come right
out and say it plainly.
You, Laura, are a highly
successful professional writer
who travels all over the world
and hangs out with
famous people.
- Yes, that's pretty accurate.
- So...
[chuckling]
Why did I just say that?
- I'm sorry?
- Why would I say that?
That's a stupid thing to say.
I wouldn't just...
Is this a dream?
- What?
No.
- This is a stupid fucking
dream sequence, isn't it?
Oh great.
Oh, that's just great.
A dream sequence, yes.
And you're gonna wake up
and gonna wanna tell your
boyfriend all about it
but he won't pay any
attention unless it ends with
and then I started
going down on you.
Listen to me, Laura,
no one wants to hear
about your fucking dreams.
- Okay, fine, maybe
it is a dream, okay?
But would you just
indulge me a little bit?
I had a rough week.
- No, no, no.
Literature Today is a very
important podcast, all right?
I can't waste my time
with some fake-ass book
that hasn't even
been written yet.
- I finished a draft.
- Dream sequence.
How very, very stupid.
Who does that anymore?
Dream sequence,
what's going on here?
ooh, it was all a
dream the whole time!
That's great.
Very cliche.
Even your dreams
are cliche, Laura.
I can't imagine what
your book must be like.
- My book is good.
- Oh, is it?
Is it good, really?
Do you have an editor?
Do you have a publisher?
Do you have a lit agent?
No?
Hm, how about that?
You couldn't even
get on my show.
Stupid fake-ass book.
What a waste of my time.
The Ends of Things!
How about the end of this
fucking dream sequence?
Where am I?
Is this even a real door?
Where does this lead,
your subconscious?
[food sizzling]
[chuckling]
- Okay, so obviously.
- Good morning, sunshine.
- Yeah.
I had the craziest
dream last night.
You know that podcast--
- I made coffee.
I made greasy potatoes
with jalapenos.
- [Laura] Oh, I love
your greasy potatoes.
- And coconut water
and headache medicine.
- [Laura] Goddamn you're good.
- I'm a pro.
I've been through
it enough times.
- Mhmm.
- So what'd you do last night?
- You know that documentary
I was telling you about?
The one about the homeless?
- Was it good?
- So good.
- I should have left early
and watched it with you.
- No, you had fun.
- What is wrong with me?
- Nothing.
So how's Heidi?
Is she still jazzed about
her Jimmy Kimmel thing?
- Oh my God, she's
on top of the world.
- That's good.
- Yeah.
It feels cool to hang
out with her, you know?
We've been friends for
15 years or something,
but now it's like,
this lady's on the TV.
- Did anyone recognize her?
- She's not quite
at that point yet.
- Did you talk to boys?
- No.
[people chatting]
I mean, guys were hitting
on Heidi, like always.
- I'm just being that boyfriend.
It's my job, you know.
- I don't deserve you.
- Yes, you totally do.
- Don't let me forget to
do my unemployment later.
- Okay.
- You ever think about
leaving New York?
- Uh-oh.
There it is.
- No, don't panic.
I'm just asking you a question.
- Well, this is a
red flag subject.
- Look, I'm not going anywhere,
I'm talking about you.
- I have a good job here.
- I know.
- There's culture here.
I mean, where would we even go?
- Somewhere warm.
I think about the sun
and how much I need it.
- It's the beginning of summer.
- Yeah and then it
will be October again.
- That's the way calendars work.
- Maybe I'm just feeling
down about myself.
- [Tom] Leaving is
not always the answer.
- Yeah, I know, Tom.
I'm not talking about leaving.
- Well, it's just scary.
When you think about your past.
- Okay.
We don't have to talk about it.
I'm sorry I asked.
- How about I go down on you,
make you forget about it.
[laughing]
- Yeah, but--
- I'm serious.
- Oh.
- It's the best way to
forget your troubles.
- Stop it. [chuckling]
Is that the?
Get off.
[somber music]
♪ If I were suddenly gone
♪ I could be buried
in your yard ♪
♪ And make my
living down there ♪
♪ I'd share water
with the birds ♪
♪ Make friends with junipers
♪ Be happy going nowhere
♪ But I'm not really gone
♪ Don't think of it that way
- Back for more?
- Yes, please.
- I haven't seen you in awhile.
- Uh, yeah, I came
to a stopping place.
I took some time off, uh,
gave myself some time.
- With your novel?
- Yeah.
- You could still
come in, you know.
Get some coffee, talk to people.
- I know.
I know, you're
right, I'm selfish.
- [Ian] Well, I'm not
saying you're selfish.
- Well, but I am.
- [Ian] I doubt that.
You have, like,
this peaceful aura.
- I have a peaceful aura?
- Yeah, here you go.
- Thanks.
How much is that?
- [Ian] Ah, don't
worry about it.
- Thank you.
- Yeah.
Oh thanks.
- I'm sorry, this is
really embarrassing.
What is your name again?
- Ian.
It's okay.
- Ian.
- And you're Laura.
- Oh god and you remembered.
- It's all right.
Oh hey, I'm doing a show
in the neighborhood,
you should come check it out.
Or at least humor me while
I give you that postcard
that you throw away later.
- What kind of show?
- You'll just have to
come and experience it.
- Oh, a mysterious kind of show.
- It's a variety of
unique performances.
So it might suck.
But it doesn't matter,
cause you're not gonna
actually come anyway.
- How do you know?
Maybe I'll go.
- No one comes to stuff anymore.
People like pictures
of stuff online.
That's the new coming to stuff.
- God, it's true, isn't it?
Well, maybe I can
break that pattern.
- That'd be awesome.
All the information's on there.
- Okay, thanks.
♪ Thank you, I'm with him
♪ Our lives and for
each other's lives ♪
♪ And think of ways
to meet each other ♪
♪ Tonight you'll
regret your tattoos ♪
[people chattering]
♪ I'm spitting the shit that
be dripping with dough ♪
♪ Currency cash, currency flow
♪ I really wish I had mo
♪ Remember when
me and my friend ♪
♪ Used to gab for hours on end
♪ Sipping coffee in the Rav-4
♪ What you fucking rap for
♪ Me, it's pure storytelling
♪ Crappy MC's rapping vapid
like it's Tori Spelling ♪
♪ Corey Feldman
♪ Get lost boy,
you boring, lame ♪
♪ I speaks like a beast,
rest in peace to Corey Haim ♪
[audience laughing]
- Honest!
Why do you think they
call me The Rail Splitter?
But that was before
I had these whiskers.
See, before I ran for
president in 1860,
I never had a beard.
Unless you count Mary Todd.
[laughing]
Just a little joke for
you Log Cabin
Republicans out there.
[whistle blowing]
[audience laughing]
[whistle blowing]
[whistle blowing]
- This one's called
Sour Pickles.
She was like
leave-in conditioner
that I promptly washed out.
But the smell stayed
around for weeks.
Every jacket I owned
smelled like her eventually.
So she became the signature
scent of the Salvation Army.
If you've been to
the one on Bedford
then you know her smell.
Ki
Ki,
So-So.
Ki-Ki!
So
So.
Ki- ki, So-So,
Ashe, Lha, Gyal, Lo,
Tak, Seng, Khyung,
Druk, Di, Yar, Kay!
Thank you.
- Yeah, the 15th, Tuesday.
- All right.
I'll see you there.
Thank you for coming.
- Hi, good job.
- I can't believe you came.
- Yeah, of course.
This is Luis.
- Hey, I'm Ian.
Nice to meet you.
- Really good job.
- Thanks, thanks for coming.
Do you live in Jersey City too?
- [Luis] I was born
and raised here.
- Oh wow.
- But I'm not mad
about gentrification.
I like craft beer.
And expensive pancakes.
[laughing]
- That's good, that's good.
This was just something
weird I put together.
- No, it was very smart.
And witty too.
- Yeah, really good.
- We're gonna go to a barcade
if you guys want
to grab a drink.
- Um, I think I have to pass.
Yeah, we'll let you do
your thing with your peeps.
- [Ian] Ah, my "peeps."
[laughing]
- But thank you for inviting me.
- Yeah, I'll see
you soon, I hope.
- Yeah, definitely.
At the coffee shop.
- At the coffee shop, right.
- Nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.
♪ The land low
♪ I want to meet, shame
♪ Come on
♪ You play when you come along
[chuckling]
- Hey.
- Hey.
So, I'm doing what you said.
I'm coming in, I'm not writing,
just talking to people.
- Well, unfortunately
there's no one here,
so, I led you astray.
- Well, you're here.
- [Ian] I am here.
[laughing]
- But you're probably busy.
- Yeah, it's a
really important job.
- At least you have a job.
- Want a coffee?
- Please.
♪ Feelin' wasted on
- So, what would you
like to talk about?
- Oh God, I don't know.
Let's just start.
- Okay.
Let's begin.
- I'm wondering if
you're a Buddhist
because that chanting you
were doing last night.
- I study Buddhism enough to
know these Tibetan chants,
so I incorporated them,
which maybe was dumb.
- I don't think it
was dumb at all.
I do a lot of yoga so
there's a lot incorporated.
- I do some yoga too, I
mean really beginning stuff.
I got these big yoga blocks.
- There's no shame
in the blocks.
- I got yoga blocks
for Christmas.
My dad wanted to take
me to a Giants game.
- Are you a sports guy?
- I like sports, actually,
I have no problem
going to a Giants game.
My favorite sport
is soccer though.
- I played soccer
when I was a kid.
- Everyone played soccer
when they were a kid.
- Yeah but I was good.
- What position did you play?
- I have no clue but
I was good at it.
- I played in high school,
but I realized I had more
of a future in theater
than I did soccer, so
I quit my senior year.
- I always wanted to do theater
but I didn't have the courage.
- You still can do
theatre if you want to.
- I think it's a
little late for that,
I'm very comfortable sitting
in coffee shops and writing.
- Maybe it would shake
things up for you.
- I always wanted to be
a stand-up comedian too,
but I have absolutely
nothing funny to talk about.
- That you can still do,
there are open
mics all the time.
I tried it a couple times.
- [Laura] How'd it go?
- Not good enough
to keep doing it.
Basically I learned
that it wasn't something
you were either good at or not
but something you had to work
at, just like everything else,
and I thought, "Well I
already have enough of those."
- Did people laugh?
- Here and there.
I learned it was a much bigger
thing than I thought it was.
- Most things are, aren't they?
- I'm starting to realize that.
I feel like as I get older,
all the little
things fall apart.
- Exactly.
Once you've seen
your friends achieve
what we all want to achieve
and then you see the
continuation of it all,
that nothing stops once
you've achieved something.
- I definitely see that.
- I have a friend
who's starting to be
a really successful musician.
- Uh-huh.
- And besides just
being happy for her
and dealing with my own
feelings about her success,
it's also a really
good opportunity for me
to hold up a mirror
to myself and say,
okay, what am I doing?"
- Like, why am I not
doing what she's doing?
- No, not exactly that because
we do very different things
so it's not a direct comparison,
but more just looking at myself
I can see all these
different sides of life
and I think, what do
I want out of it all?
- What's gonna make me happy?
Because there's this
pressure to get a real job
and make real money but I know
that money isn't
the thing I'm after.
I mean, it's
different for everyone
and it changes, it
evolves, it has to.
- What you think you want,
we all graduate from
college or whatever
and we think we want
this certain thing
and we get jealous
when someone gets it
but then so many times I look
at that person or that thing
and it's not even that
I wouldn't want that,
it's just, I know it's not me.
- That's really
important, I think.
It's like, what do
I see myself doing?
- You know, I realized that
there is a big difference
between wanting to be a writer
and wanting to
write all day long.
Because being a writer, or
being an actor, or being a poet,
it's just about identity.
I mean, who do you need
to prove something to?
- Who do you need to show
that you are a certain thing,
because I've had friends
who experience some
success in something
and then decide they
don't want it after all,
so they move back
home, they get married.
- Which is a whole other thing,
getting married, having kids.
- Trust me, I've heard
enough about that recently.
- Oh my God, you have too?
- It just seems like it's all
around, even in New York City,
it's like you get
to a certain age,
and everyone's having
weddings and having babies
and moving to the suburbs.
- My other best friend
just did exactly that,
so now I have two best
friends and one went this way
and the other went
the total opposite way
and so I get it from
all sides, you know,
and even if I tell
myself, I am not that,
still someone else, like
my mom, will look at me
and compare me to them.
- It's just natural, I guess.
It's so hard not to
compare yourself.
Luckily, the girl
I'm dating is only 27
so she's not quite
ready for all that yet.
♪ A couple miles away
♪ Fallin' in love
I don't even know ♪
♪ What you're ready to say
♪ Wrong love
♪ Wrong love, love, love
♪ Wrong love
- Yeah, my boyfriend's 37,
so he actually does
want to get married
but we've only been
together wight months
so I'm like, give it time, okay?
- I've always been so sure
I was gonna get divorced
that I never even really
thought about getting married.
- Are your parents divorced?
- No, that's the weird thing,
they're still together
and they're like the
perfect old married couple.
- Yeah, mine are too
but it's still scary.
- [Ian] Maybe that's
part of the fear,
like we could never
live up to it.
- That we can
never achieve that.
Or that we see something in
them, that maybe we think,
maybe they should
have gotten a divorce.
- It's all so fucking confusing.
- It really is.
There's no one answer.
Because everyone's like,
why don't you get married?
You should get married.
But I have friends
who got married
and then got divorced and
nobody thinks that's weird,
that's just normal.
- It's like, well
at least she tried.
- Right, but we're
in the same place,
the only difference
is she had a wedding.
- It all flows like this,
everything is fluid,
that's what people
don't understand.
It's not steps on a ladder,
like, this, this,
this, then this.
Because life doesn't
work that way.
I mean, you could get married
and then your husband dies
in a horrible accident
or I don't know.
- Or he murders me
because I'm not actually
a good wife after all,
I'm really only good at
hiding away on my computer
and writing my stories.
- Yeah, you have to
find someone that fits
with what you wanna
do day-to-day.
Which goes back to what we
were talking about earlier.
- Yeah, which is why I'm not
sure I want to marry Tom.
I mean, we have fun together,
but as a lifelong commitment.
- Lifelong, exactly.
- I mean, I like watching
stuff on Netflix too.
I like just hanging
out, being homebodies,
I get it, we're both in our 30s,
but sometimes I want to
grab the coffee table
and right in the middle of
us watching fucking Netflix,
throw it right in his
fucking 55 inch TV
and shatter the
whole fucking thing.
[car horn honks]
- I'm that way.
- Okay.
I'm that way.
- Goodnight.
[somber guitar music]
♪ The coroner proclaimed
me in good health ♪
♪ And released me
♪ Praiseworthy are
the ghosts that fly ♪
♪ Contemplations,
congregations ♪
♪ Continual release
♪ Morose are the
ghosts that fly ♪
♪ You're the spectral waves
♪ Lifting dead weight
♪ Gifted are the
ghosts that fly ♪
- Was that your boyfriend?
Who came to my show?
- Luis?
No, he's a friend.
He's obviously gay.
- Oh.
I thought that was him.
- That wasn't him.
- I guess I was hoping
your boyfriend was gay.
- Why?
♪ When all you have
- Maybe I shouldn't
have come over here.
- I think what's gonna
happen is inevitable.
- What's gonna happen?
- I don't know.
- But you know it's inevitable.
- Exactly.
♪ The ghosts that fly
♪ Gone are the ghosts
♪ The ghosts that fly
♪ Serenading few
♪ Are as hopeless
as you'd think ♪
♪ Corrosive are the
ghosts that fly ♪
♪ Condemned their path through
♪ Burning for a drink
♪ Impatient are the
ghosts that fly ♪
♪ When all you have
- Does that mean
the real Lord Byron?
- Shh.
- Yes, yield those lips,
for which I'd brave more than
I here shall dare to tell.
Thy innocence and mine to save,
I bid thee now a last,
farewell.
[coughing]
Yes, yield that
breast, to seek despair
and hope no more thy
soft embrace, which to
obtain, my soul would dare,
all, all reproach,
but thy disgrace.
At least from guilt
shall thou be free.
No matron shall
thy shame reprove.
Though cureless
pangs may prey on me,
no martyr shall thou be to love.
[clapping]
Thank you, thank you,
you're very kind.
I shall now like to open
the floor to any questions.
Yes?
- Hi, first of all, great
job, you're a good writer.
I'm wondering, did you have
anyone specific in mind
that you were, like, writing to?
- Yes, yes I did.
Her name is Laura.
And ours is a love story that
spans continents, countries,
even time itself.
She is the incarnation of
all matters of the heart.
And she will go down
as one of the great
lovers in history.
- I'm not seeing that
on your Wikipedia.
- But alas, our
love was not to be.
For she was not a
reality in my time.
Yes?
- So, do you, like,
have a day job?
Or is this all that you do?
- There you are sir,
keep reading.
- Thank you.
- Hi, Mr. Lord Byron.
- I came here only for you.
Men will fall at your feet.
They will compose sonnets,
they will wage wars over you,
they will chase you
around the world.
I came to see if maybe
I may have a chance.
- Sorry.
Things are really
complicated right now.
There's these two other guys--
- Say no more.
Say no more.
Ah, the sweet poetry
of heartbreak.
- Sorry.
I'm not an ideal
girlfriend, you know that.
- I don't need you to
be an ideal anything.
- But it can't just
be a weekend thing.
- You're the one who makes
it a weekend thing, Laura.
You could move in
if you wanted to.
- But I don't think
I'm ready for that,
that's the problem.
- Look, if you're
breaking up with me,
then that's what this is.
- I'm sorry, Tom.
- It's not just, um...
You just don't
feel enough for me?
- You deserve more than this.
- But you're not gonna be
the one to give it to me.
- I think we are looking
for different things.
- Look, I'm just gonna
stop this right here,
you don't have to keep
coming up with lines.
- They're not lines.
- Yes, they are,
they're breakup lines.
I know I'm not the writer here,
but I know when you're
coming up with lines.
Look, let's just leave it.
- I think I am thinking
about leaving New York.
- See.
I fucking knew that shit.
- [Laura] But I knew that you
wouldn't want to come with me.
- But you're not giving
me a chance though.
Maybe I could see
leaving New York,
but you don't think
like a couple.
You have this enormous ego.
It's like it's easy to
fall in love with Laura
and to start dating Laura,
but really that just means
we're both in love with Laura.
We're both just dating Laura.
- Maybe I should come
back for my stuff.
- You don't really
have much here.
You never did.
- So are you gonna break
up with what's-her-name?
- We're not that
serious, but yeah.
- Like?
- I mean, not today probably.
- Why not today?
- Well, it's just a shitty time.
Her grandma just died.
I mean, she was dying already
and I'm not a part
of this at all,
but she's down in
Florida right now, so.
- Oh, I see.
Bad timing.
- Yeah.
Really bad timing.
- I always have bad timing.
Like, right when I
was leaving Portland,
I met this guy, we
totally fell in love.
- Oh yeah?
- He was a musician.
I mean, he was all over the
place, we had no chance.
But I decided that I
wanted to live in New York.
And once I decide
something like that,
even if it's just
a quick decision,
there's no stopping me.
- So you don't talk
to him anymore?
- Why would we?
- [Ian] Well, you fell
in love at some point.
- Yeah, exactly, how can
we be anything after that?
- Not even just hey,
hope you're doing well?
- Not really my style.
- What is your style?
- Many cities, many men.
- Wow.
[laughing]
- I'm half-joking.
- Yeah, but only half.
- Why are you so worried
about my ex-boyfriend?
- I'm not.
- He'll be fine.
You want me to
reconnect with him?
- No,
I just might be him one day.
- Oh.
Okay.
Well, technically you
still have a girlfriend.
- I guess.
Kind of.
- Timing.
- I gotta go that way.
- Okay.
I gotta go to the city.
- What are you up to?
- I gotta go get my stuff from
my ex-boyfriend's apartment,
do that whole thing.
- Right, okay.
So we'll, uh?
- Of course, yeah.
- Okay.
See ya.
- Yep, see ya.
- [Man] I already spoke
to your roommates.
- Isn't there some
kind of regulation
against raising it that much?
$300?
- There would be if it was
rent-controlled or regulated.
Sorry, Laura.
- I've been here two years.
Isn't there some sort of
leeway for being a good tenant?
- [Man] You haven't
always paid on time.
- But most of the time.
- It's not for another month.
You have time to
figure things out.
- Okay.
- How's your writing going?
- Fine.
- You know, if you're
a really good writer,
maybe you can make
some money doing that.
- Yeah.
[somber guitar music]
♪ Eulogize me now
♪ Wanna know what I done wrong
♪ To deserve all this song
♪ My conscious
♪ Eulogize me now
♪ I wanna know
what I done right ♪
♪ To deserve all this fight
♪ Of my only life
♪ Hold strangers' hand
♪ Praying for the end
♪ It's no way to spend
♪ Your dying days
♪ Tell me what I've done wrong
♪ And I can
♪ Move on
♪ Hold strangers' hand
♪ Waiting on the end
♪ It's no way to spend
♪ Your dying day
- Hi, I'm Dave.
You wanna sit down?
- Sure.
- What's your name?
[moaning]
So what'd you say,
you were a writer?
- Yeah, I just finished a novel.
- I'd love to read it.
- I don't think so.
- Why not?
- It's--
- You scared?
- No, it's not really ready
for a lot of people to read.
- You gotta get it out there.
You sending it out?
- Yeah, a little.
- Any bites?
- Can't get anyone
important to read it.
My sister likes it.
- Your sister's important.
[laughing]
- Not in the publishing world.
- What's the title?
- The Ends of Things.
- I damn sure know
enough about that.
The ends of things?
Like marriage and shit?
- It's just sort of an
all-encompassing title.
- Yeah, man.
I know enough about that.
- The title might change.
- Hm.
The Ending of Shit.
Yeah, man.
Tough racket.
I could never figure out
how to make money
doing anything cool,
so fuck it, you know?
- How long have you lived here?
- Not exactly the
penthouse suite is it?
- Well.
- My buddy Derek and his
wife are letting me crash.
It's been a tough
couple of years, man.
- Yeah.
Me too.
- Would you ever
consider being with me?
Like, for real?
- Sure.
- Yeah?
- Yeah, why not?
- You're fucking lyin'.
That's okay.
You're young.
- I'm not that young.
- Ah well.
At least I got my taste, right?
[somber music]
- [Girl] Have you been on
the beach this whole time?
- [Laura] No, not
the whole time.
I met someone.
- [Girl] Oh shit!
- [Guy] Nice, who'd you meet?
- I don't know.
His name's Dave.
- Oh, Dave, that makes sense.
I did coke with him once.
- Oh.
- Yeah, old guy, right?
Really cool though.
- Do you want some rum?
- I should go take a shower.
- People are coming over,
we're gonna hang
in the back, okay?
- [Laura] Okay.
- You should come hang.
- I'll be here.
[laughing]
- She's pretty cool, huh?
- She's pretty
directionless though,
I mean, what is she
doing, you know?
She's like 40.
- 32!
- Yeah, rounded to the
nearest 40, that's 40, dude.
That's what you get from
Craigslist, I guess.
- Do you think she
listens to us fuck?
- Probably.
[waves rumbling]
- See, if I were
gonna get a tattoo,
I'd want it to mean something.
- [Guy] Yeah, buddy.
- You know, like stand
for, like, world peace.
- Yeah.
Hey, babe.
It's like you were saying,
no one wants to just do it.
Just go for it.
Go to Europe.
- [Guy] Exactly.
- [Dylan] Or Africa.
- Dude, I've always
wanted to go to Africa.
- See, we should go to Africa.
Save our money and just, like,
find the cheapest
way to go to Africa
and make that dream a reality.
- It's like everyone
wants to get married
or get some career.
Like, why are they in a hurry?
It'll all still be there
tomorrow, I promise you.
- I wanna travel,
that's for sure.
That's definite.
- Yeah, man, me too.
- Hey, what are y'all playing?
- We're playing Keep It Up.
- [Guy] Who's winning?
- We all are, man.
We're all winning.
[laughing]
- I'm gonna go cross-country,
that's something I
definitely want to do.
- Dude, yeah, fuck, man, me too,
I just want to, like,
see all that shit.
- I've done it.
- Seriously?
- Yeah.
I mean, it's definitely
something you should experience,
but it's also just a lot
of highway, you know?
- But all those
different landscapes
and meeting all those
different people.
- Yeah.
- That's awesome, I cannot wait.
I wanna get, like, an RV.
Me and Dylan have
talked about it a bunch.
- Dude, I'm fucking
coming with you guys.
- Yes, yes, you totally can.
We were thinking
about next summer,
just like, see who's down and
split gas and all that shit.
- I'm so fucking down.
I just have to get out.
So what's your deal?
You're coming from New York?
- Yeah.
Before that, Portland.
Before that, L.A.,
just for a little bit.
And Texas, which was random.
- Wow.
- Yeah.
Home girl's been all over.
- Oh, well, it's not really
as romantic as it sounds.
[laughing]
♪ Your one piece or two piece
♪ The Speedo we
rockin', the one piece ♪
- So, do you love him?
- I mean, yeah, I think so.
- So why isn't he here with you?
- I didn't give
him much warning,
I just sort of left.
But I told him
where I was going.
- Isn't that a little fucked up?
I'm just asking.
- He was dating someone else.
Some 27 year-old.
Which, I know that's
not young for you guys.
- No, we totally get it.
That's like a 17
year-old for us.
- Right?
And also I had just
broken up with someone
and I just felt like,
I have to move on.
I have to leave.
And if it's meant to be, then--
- What about Facebook and
Instagram and all that shit?
- [Laura] I'm taking
a break from all that.
- Oh my God, I wish
I could do that.
- Me too.
- I mean, it definitely
felt like it was love.
But, it was maybe just
fairytale bullshit.
- How do you know?
- Because he's not here.
- Maybe he's just scared.
- He knows how I feel about him.
- My butt is itching today.
- He shouldn't let fear
stop him from doing things.
I'm scared.
We're all fucking scared.
But we grit our teeth and we go,
you know, we do things.
We pack our bags, we drive
cross-country, right?
- Yeah, hell yeah!
- We sit in the sun
and we drink beer!
And we eat the best cheese curls
that have ever been curled!
We have Tiki-torches afire,
the torches are aflame!
I don't have to be married,
I do not have to be
a successful writer
because you know what,
it doesn't matter,
because it is all happening
right here, right now!
This is it!
This really is just it!
Oh thank you.
Thank you, boys and girls,
'cause I'm 32 years-old!
Thank you, 32, thank you.
Thank you, I am 32.
Thank you.
[somber guitar music]
♪ The air is full
of radio waves ♪
♪ The air is full
of radio waves ♪
♪ Somewhere
♪ Deep within my mind
♪ There's a beacon beaming
signals out to you ♪
♪ Steady
♪ Periodic
♪ A broadcast from a station
♪ It's never off the
air from this point on ♪
♪ No matter what befalls
♪ I am a sonic phantom
♪ Passing through your walls
♪ I used to be a quitter
- [Ian] So do you
have a lease here?
- No, I'm doing
a month-to-month.
You know me.
But, it's kind of
a drifter place
and everybody's really cool.
They're young.
They're really young.
Did you quit your job or
do you have to go back?
- I'm a manager there.
- Really?
- Yeah.
- I didn't know that.
- For the last two years.
So yes, I have to go back.
- So what is this,
like a vacation?
- I don't know what it is.
- My whole life's a vacation,
that's what I decided.
- I have a hotel.
- [Laura] What, why?
- I didn't know what
the situation was here
or even if you
wanted me to stay.
- Stay here.
Yeah, cancel that shit.
- I've never done
anything like this before.
I mean, it's exciting.
It's a nervous kind of exciting.
But good, you know.
- Let's drink our tequila.
- Okay.
- Okay.
- I'm sorry.
This is weird.
I shouldn't have come here.
I feel like I'm
forcing something.
You left New York, right?
You left me behind.
And now I just show up.
Who shows up?
No one just shows up anymore.
This is the 21st century,
we have a hundred different
ways to contact each other.
I should have messaged you,
I should have sent you a
picture of my dick at least.
I expect you to go in blind?
With no dick pics?
What if it changed?
I don't even know
if you want me here.
Do you want me here?
- I pictured you
walking down that pier
a million times.
I'm not really sure
if I'm dreaming
this whole thing right now.
- You are.
- I am?
- Yes.
- Wait, am I?
Wait, I am?
[laughing]
- Are you really not sure?
Did you go crazy already?
[somber music]
[thumping]
[Laura moaning]
- Stop it.
Stop it, Dylan.
[Laura moaning]
[pleasant piano music]
[singing in foreign language]
- [Cathy] So is he
gonna move here?
- We haven't really
talked about it.
- Must be nice having guys fly
around the world to see you.
- Or just a rental car
down the East Coast.
- Still.
[giggling]
- He has to go home tomorrow,
but for the future, who knows,
we're sort of leaving it open.
- That's awesome.
No commitments, you
don't feel trapped.
Sometimes I think me
and Dylan are too young
for what we're doing.
- Nah, you're good.
- But then I look
at him and I'm like,
fuck, dude, I wanna marry
this fucking dude, you know?
- Yeah.
[waves rumbling]
I think I'm falling
in love with you.
[waves rumbling]
- No, I mean, day-to-day,
what will you be doing?
- Same thing I always do.
Write, do yoga,
drink a lot of water.
Probably start
waitressing somewhere
when unemployment runs out.
- Well, it's a
nice, quaint place.
- What are you gonna
do in New York?
- Yeah, I mean, same
thing I've done.
Work at the coffee shop.
Do my thing.
- That's just our
reality, isn't it?
We're both--
- What?
- Stubborn.
- Yeah.
I mean, I guess.
But I also feel
like you ran away.
- Yeah.
And you could run away too.
- Yeah, but, in a way, I can't.
- Exactly.
Both stubborn.
- [Ian] Won't you get lonely?
- I'm very comfortable
being alone.
That's sort of the problem.
- Yeah, except when you're not.
"Many cities, many men."
- I was being flippant.
- There's the guy
you broke up with,
then there's me, then there's
some old guy at the beach.
- You said you weren't
mad about that.
- Being mad doesn't matter.
But it means that
you're somewhere.
I don't know where,
but you are somewhere.
- Well, you were somewhere
too, dating your 27 year-old.
- We broke up and I took
the time that I needed.
- [Laura] Fine.
This is silly.
- [Ian] Is it?
- I'm ready.
I'm open.
I'm here.
- Yeah, you're here.
- So what, I have to
move back to New York
if I'm really ready?
- No, not necessarily,
I just mean are you ready
to not be fucking around?
- I live my life a certain
way, it's not fucking around.
- I know, I didn't...
I just think if things
are out of whack,
then you do things, slowly,
to put them more in whack.
- Well, I don't like
doing things slowly.
Life's just gonna have
to be out of whack.
So will I see you again?
- Laura, I wanna see
you all the time.
So, maybe we'll
figure something out.
It's not like you went to China.
- I could go to China.
- [Ian] Well, if you do.
- You'll follow me to China?
- Probably not.
It is possible to
escape, you know,
if you really want to.
- See ya.
I went to the beach
because I wanted to live,
what's the word?
Deliberately.
- That's very spiritual of you.
- Please, Sharon,
I don't wanna act
like I'm some spiritual leader.
- But you are.
Your book, The Ends of Things,
contains a lot of wisdom.
And the way you're meditating
now, letting everything go,
focusing only on the breath,
it's very inspiring.
- Thank you.
- If you're just joining
us on Mindful Chat,
we're here with
best-selling author
and spiritual
leader, Laura Snow.
- I'm very honored
to be here, Sharon.
- Now, tell me more about
moving to the beach on a whim,
I think that's just great.
- I lived with a group
of younger adults
who became my friends.
I don't want to
call them disciples
but I think they
found a teacher in me.
- Very generous.
- I think I related
to them because
I maintain a youthful
outlook on life.
- We all should.
- What about you, Sharon?
I'd like to hear more about you.
- No one ever asks about me.
- It's part of my thing.
- Okay.
Well, after graduate
school, I traveled to India
where I studied with my guru
and practiced meditation
and yoga and now I'm
a Buddhist teacher.
I work with at-risk
youth in inner cities.
I've had five books
published, non-fiction.
In addition to a
couple of novels.
Those were mostly for fun.
- Uh huh.
- Now, I--
- Cool, cool.
Should we get back to talking
about me and my book now?
- Oh.
Yeah, of course.
- Just 'cause, my
publisher would be mad.
- No.
Yeah.
The Ends of Things.
[somber guitar music]
♪ The coroner proclaimed
me in good health ♪
♪ And released me
♪ Praiseworthy are
the ghosts that fly ♪
[laughing]
♪ Contemplations,
congregations ♪
♪ Continual release
♪ Morose are the
ghosts that fly ♪
- I read your thing, dude.
It's really dope.
The End of Stuff.
- Thanks, Dylan.
- You know what you should do?
You should get on social media
and connect with
publishers or whatever.
Hashtags and shit.
I know you're not really
that type of person
but you can't write in a vacuum.
Dude, your shit is good.
- Yeah, you're right.
- You're really pretty
too, you know that?
You shouldn't have
left New York,
that's for sure.
Want one?
- No, thanks.
- I'd like to live in New York.
Or New Orleans.
Fucking sweet.
Like, London or some shit.
Tokyo.
- Come on, one beer.
I haven't seen you
in a couple months.
- Okay, but really, I
just came by to say hello,
just as a friend.
- Whatever you need, doll.
- It's warm.
- [Dave] Yeah.
- There you go,
the lap of luxury.
I'm getting my own place.
- Oh yeah?
- I signed the
lease this morning,
so pretty soon I'll
be a real adult.
- That's great, congratulations.
- I'm glad you're here
to celebrate it with.
- Me too.
- I gotta piss.
If you gotta go to the bathroom,
it's the one near the laundry.
It's not so clean,
but the toilet works.
[birds chirping]
[pleasant guitar music]
- You guys are all set.
[chuckling]
- I feel like this
is my big moment
to say something brilliant.
I don't have
anything, obviously.
I'm just here.
- Hi.
- Yeah, that's good.
Hi.
- [Ian] You have your
whole life with you, I see.
Moving back?
- I think so, yeah.
- That's good.
I think, more
opportunity for you here.
At least you can have meetings
and send emails and be...
- What are you talking about?
- I'm saying, you're in
New York, that's good.
- Ian, I came back
here because of you.
You realize that, don't you?
That's obvious, isn't it?
- You didn't really
keep up the chatter.
- The chatter?
What does that mean?
- It's been like two months.
- I figured we were
figuring stuff out.
- Yeah, I guess we were.
- So what is going on?
- I got back together
with Chelsea.
We're talking about
getting a place.
My rent's going up
and I don't wanna live
with roommates anymore.
- That's not a good reason to--
- It's not the only reason.
- Do you love her?
No, that's stupid, of
course you'll say yes.
Do you wanna be with her?
Really?
♪ They say hey
♪ Morning called
on the 11th day ♪
♪ So you'll just wait a while
- This is really difficult.
I felt so strongly about
you, I still feel so...
I tried, you know?
- Yeah and I'm right here.
I showed up, just like you.
So it's not like you're
more heroic in this.
- I'm not trying to be heroic.
- So, Ian, we want the same
thing, what's the problem?
- The problem is we don't
have a relationship.
- We don't have a
normal relationship.
- It doesn't have to be normal
but it has to be a relationship.
You didn't even
want to be friends.
- I don't need friends.
- Honestly, I've just never
been sure if you really,
actually care about me.
- What do you think I am?
- I think you're a good person.
- You obviously don't.
- I do.
It's just, like,
you're chasing something
and I don't feel
like it includes me.
♪ Some mystery that
you wanna solve ♪
- I feel so stupid.
- Don't feel stupid.
- Don't tell me what to feel.
- I'm just trying
to comfort you.
- I have every right to
feel stupid, look at me.
I have everything I
own, which is nothing.
I came here to this
fucking coffee shop.
I'm at least gonna own
this feeling of stupid.
At least I'm not moving
in with some girl
just to save on rent.
[phone ringing]
- [Ian] I gotta
get back to work.
- Okay.
- [Ian] Do you want a coffee?
[somber music]
- Oh, you're in New York, great.
We'll get a drink
when I get back.
No, no, I'm in Austin.
Oh, oh, but hey, yeah,
I'm subletting my place
but you should talk to the
guy who's staying there,
he's like an important
journalist or something.
[somber music]
- Yeah.
Yeah, you should totally
come here another weekend,
we had so much fun.
Maybe we can do it at
the end of the month.
We just have so much
going on right now.
[dial tone ringing]
[phone buzzing]
- Laura Snow.
- Not tonight, boo.
[somber music]
- [Woman] Are you Laura?
- Yes.
- Then I'm gonna take the
liberty of sitting down.
I'm Chelsea, Ian's, you
know, girlfriend or whatever.
- Oh my God, of course you are.
Look at you, you're fucking
adorable and perfect.
- I'm sorry about Ian.
He doesn't know what he wants.
He's confused.
- Yeah, he is, right?
- He's not brave enough
to follow his heart.
I know that.
You know that.
- Yes, thank you.
- So, I knocked
some sense into him.
You're the one he should
be with, obviously.
- Okay, thanks, um, so...
- So you can go ahead
over to his apartment
and unpack, I guess.
- What about you?
- Oh, I'll be fine!
I'm just gonna
wait it out again.
- Wait it out?
- Yeah.
I mean, after you guys break up.
- Oh, we might stay together.
Yeah, what we had was real.
- Eeeh, yeah,
I mean, we're talking
about a relationship,
not your strong point,
let's be honest.
I mean, after you've gone
to all the restaurants,
cooked each other all the meals,
seen each other in
all the outfits,
shown each other all the
different ways your parents
have screwed you up, that's
probably gonna be it.
So when you decide to pack up
and find someone new in
your long list of lovers,
in your oh-so-adventurous life,
I'll be there to take Ian back.
So there's nothing
to worry about!
- Okay, okay.
Yeah, and maybe,
one day, you and I
could even be friends.
- Oh, no.
I hate you with so much passion.
- Oh, really?
- Yeah.
I've attended meetings.
I've been to support groups
for women who hate other women.
- You're making me feel
really guilty right now.
- Oh, I learned this in group.
I can't make you feel anything.
It's your feeling.
You have to own it.
So, yeah, go ahead,
Ian's waiting for you.
In hell.
Where you belong.
You fucking dickhead.
- Hey.
Sorry to call.
I mean, you maybe don't care
but I'm kind of in
a bind right now.
[chuckling]
- I don't like
seeing you like this.
- Like what?
- Sheepish.
Like you did
something really bad.
- I wasn't a good girlfriend.
- So what, Laura?
You've always said that as if
it's some badge
of fucking honor.
You're not a good
girlfriend, congratulations.
How could anybody be with you?
You're such a fuck-up.
You're unpredictable.
I have to say, it
loses its charm.
- I don't have to stay
here, I could get a hotel.
- I'm not saying
that, I'm just...
You can sleep on the
couch, it's fine.
I'm not gonna throw
you out on the street.
I just have leftover anger.
- That's totally fair.
- Do you want
something to drink?
- No, I'm okay with
water, thank you.
- So where did you think
you were gonna stay?
- With the guy that I
met after we broke up.
- That you met
after we broke up,
okay, I believe that.
- Well, I mean, I
met him, I guess--
- It doesn't matter.
I mean, actually I guess I do
kinda wanna know the story,
just 'cause I'm curious,
but I think it hurts
too much to hear,
so for now we'll just...
- Yeah.
- Maybe you can find
a sublet somewhere.
- I'm gonna start looking now.
Like right now.
- Start tomorrow, please.
Okay, I really don't like
seeing you like this.
- I'm 32-years-old, Tom.
This is ridiculous.
Why'd I turn out like this?
What did I do wrong?
- Nothing.
You got a degree,
you've moved to all these
different places by yourself,
you've had jobs,
you've had apartments,
you've paid rent,
most of the time.
It's not like the rest of the
world has it all figured out
and you're just some fuck-up.
Everything is unstable.
You just put one foot
in front of the other.
That's like the
only thing to do.
- [Laura] I know, I'm trying.
♪ It's a specialty of mine
- Okay fellas, that's $7.24
- So, where do you live?
- I'm sorry?
- I mean in general.
Not like, what's your address?
- Yeah, I just moved to
a new place in Newark.
- Newark, ugh, shit.
- Oh well, hey, it's
what I can afford.
- So what else do you do?
Are you an actress?
- I'm a writer.
- You're too pretty to
be a writer, come on.
- Thank you.
Okay.
Well, you fellas
have a great day.
- Oh my God, I
fucking suck at this.
- No, hey, you're doing good.
- No, ever since
my divorce, it's--
- Look, just walk it off.
- Facebook.
- Get back in there.
You're fine.
- Do you maybe?
So you wanna grab
a drink sometime?
- Oh, I'm flattered.
But I'm sort of focused
on other things right now.
- I get it, I get it.
Thank you.
This has been helpful.
- See, there you go.
- Okay, well, good
luck with the divorce.
- Thank you.
I appreciate this.
Really.
- Every little bit helps.
- Yeah.
[somber guitar music]
- Oh hi.
What, wait.
Okay.
No, no, no, no.
Well, no one in the building
knows where you
came from, kitty.
What's that about?
You just found
your way here, huh?
Are you a good kitty?
Or are you evil?
[giggling]
How about Pepper?
I always wanted to
be called Pepper.
But I didn't think anyone
would take me seriously.
Not that anyone does now.
You can't question it too much.
It'll drive you crazy.
It's like you.
Where'd you come from?
I'll never know.
I will never know that.
That doesn't matter,
'cause you're here now.
With Ian it felt different.
It felt like maybe he
could be a true love.
Like maybe we would find a
cabin by a lake somewhere
and grow old together
and have kids.
Or maybe a cat.
[sighing]
But I guess not.
What can I say?
Being human's fucking
tough, Pepper.
It's real tough.
You have no idea.
[purring]
- Owning a house is just
one thing after another.
We had this tree, you
see that right there?
And it started splitting
and Scott was like,
"Babe, look at that tree."
- It's gonna fall on our shed.
- "It's gonna fall on our shed."
So we had to pay
thousands of dollars
just to have some remove it
before it destroyed our shed.
Stupid trees.
- Stupid trees.
- But it's worth it.
♪ This is for us now
♪ Foolish little games
- I'm really proud
of you, Alice.
- Thanks.
So what's new with you?
I feel like I haven't
seen you in months.
- I got a cat.
- You did?
- Yeah.
- That's great.
[laughing]
[somber music]
♪ Put on your second skin
♪ For you to learn to live in
♪ Lose all those
bumps and ridges ♪
♪ That you're used to
♪ Hide your thoughts
in on knees ♪
♪ Behind a false disguise
♪ A mask that fanes normality
♪ Simulation by design
♪ The words they say
♪ The words they mean
♪ Aren't always the same thing
♪ The words they say
♪ The words they mean
♪ Aren't always the same thing
♪ So I wear my mask
♪ So I can be seen
♪ So I wear my mask
♪ So I can be seen
♪ Gravity has shifted in
my center of the universe ♪
♪ My identity assembled
by foreigners ♪
♪ Clouds in every
♪ Silver lining
♪ Certainty is fleeting
♪ Strip searching
♪ People's words
♪ To find no
semblance of meaning ♪
♪ The words they say
♪ The words they mean
♪ Aren't always the same thing
♪ The words they say
♪ The words they mean
♪ Aren't always the same thing
♪ So I wear my mask
♪ So I can be seen
♪ So I wear my mask
♪ So I can be seen
♪ The words they say
♪ The words they mean
aren't always the ♪
- Being an artist and
being a businessman
are equally important to me.
They both serve very different,
yet very critical functions.
Obviously, the business side
allows me to live a
certain lifestyle,
or to have a life at all.
And the artist side,
also obviously,
nourishes my soul.
But you gotta grow
up at some point.
Struggling certainly
loses its charm.
When my corporate
survival job gets
too much for me to handle,
I can steal an hour or two
and just do a
little playwriting.
After bath time, after bedtime,
a glass of single malt scotch.
That's what's important to me.
You know?
It's important to me because I
haven't given up on anything.
I haven't cashed in.
I don't see it as a compromise.
- Hmm.
- Yeah.
I feel the same way.
I know that you think,
a house in the suburbs,
kids, cars, we gave
up our artistic--
- I don't think that.
- [Alice] I know you do.
Because I used to.
- I don't.
You don't know what I think.
- Well, I'm still a dancer.
- I know.
- I'm a mommy but I'm
still very much a dancer.
- Alice, I know.
- Okay, I'm just saying.
- Well, you don't
have to be saying.
Look, guys, this is fantastic.
Thank you for having me,
it's been refreshing.
- Yeah, any time.
- Yeah, it's no problem.
The train station is so close.
We're still so
close to the city.
[dog barking]
- So, Laura, what's new?
- I finished a
draft of my novel.
- You know what?
I'm feeling inspired.
I'm gonna go do
some playwriting.
I'll leave you two
ladies to the fire.
And if you need anything,
I'll be upstairs hammering away.
- Okay, have fun.
- I still remember
that one play he wrote.
- Oh God, that was
like 10 years ago.
- Really?
Time is just--
- I know.
Jack is gonna be
five next month.
- We're getting old.
- You're not, I am.
- Uh, I am, trust me.
- Look at you.
What's your secret?
- Drink more wine than beer.
Don't have kids.
- Exactly, don't
have fucking kids.
[laughing]
No, I love them though, I do.
- Oh, they're amazing.
- So, when are you
gonna get married?
- Oh, okay.
- Well, what's wrong with Tom?
- It's just not what
we're doing right now.
We don't even live together.
- Trust me, I had the same
reservations about Scott,
but now everything's perfect.
- [Woman] I know.
- And you gotta have kids soon
or you'll reach that
advanced maternal age.
- Yeah.
- And it doesn't matter
how much yoga you do.
- Woo.
[laughing]
- [Alice] I'm sorry.
- This just got heavy, huh?
- No, I'm that girl.
- I really love this fire pit.
[woman sexually moaning]
[pleasant music]
- [Adam] Thank you for joining
us here on Literature Today.
My guest is Mariah Flannery.
Best-selling author,
also a wife and mother.
Welcome, Mariah.
- [Mariah] It is an honor
to be on your podcast, Adam.
I listen all the time
when I'm walking my dog.
- [Adam] That is so terrific.
Now you started doing this
just a couple of years ago?
- [Mariah] I always
wanted to be a writer
so I just did it.
Just to see what would come out.
- [Adam Voiceover] And
fortunately for us,
what came out was
PS Supernatural,
a love story set
in a high school,
but not your
typical high school.
No, things here get a
little, well, supernatural.
- [Mariah] That's right.
From the very beginning, from
the morning announcements,
you don't know who's a
vampire, who's a zombie,
who's a mythical sort of--
- [Adam] It's fantastic.
- [Mariah] Thank you.
- [Adam] And very
successful, may I add.
This book is flying
off the selves.
- [Mariah] Mark jokes
about how he gets
to quit his job
now and I'm like,
"No, if you're home all day
I'll never write the sequel!"
[Mariah and Adam laughing]
♪ Oh yeah
- [Girl] Hey, Laura.
[intense rock music]
- It just all
happened so quickly.
You know, I'm backstage
with the band,
and it's late afternoon, so
it's like a real weird time,
and then there's Jimmy Kimmel
and he's doing his thing,
and he's actually pretty funny,
then all of a sudden
we're just out there
and it's so surreal.
You know, I felt like a big
light was gonna fall on my head.
[laughing]
I was thinking to myself,
okay, well, this is it.
You're gonna die.
Because that's the only thing
that can ruin your career
at this point.
And that way, you'll
go down in history
not for your music but
because you're the girl
who died on Kimmel.
- You guys were amazing.
- Oh God, it was so hard
to focus on the music,
but you just, like,
have to, you know?
- I'm so happy for you.
- I'm so happy for me.
- You should be!
[laughing]
- Cheers.
- Yeah!
- So, how are you?
How's the novel going?
- I finished.
- Yes, amazing.
- Well, I finished a draft.
- Still?
- It's really not a big deal.
- Uh, you wrote a whole novel.
How many people can say that?
- A lot it seems.
- Okay.
- So do people ask you
when you're getting married
or having kids?
- No.
I don't even have a boyfriend.
- Nobody gives
you shit for that?
I feel like there's
something wrong with me.
I don't even have a cat.
- Who wants a fucking cat?
- Do you think it's
because you're a musician?
- I think so.
People just assume I'm too
unstable for that stuff.
- I want people to
assume that about me.
Why don't they?
- You kind of have
a stable vibe.
- I don't want a stable vibe.
Do we need to do tequila
shots or something?
- Yeah, all right,
I'll do shots.
- Yes, I'm gonna go get them.
I'm fucking serious.
[somber music]
[man laughing]
- [Man] Good night with Heidi?
- I mean, come on,
Jimmy fucking Kimmel.
And I don't want to
be jealous, you know.
Everyone's all fucking on
her dick all day on Facebook
and she does all
these amazing things.
- Come in here.
- I just wanna come in here.
- [Man] Come on into this bed.
- Yeah, I just want to come
into this bed.
Thank you for
letting me come over.
- Stop thanking me.
You have a key.
- I know, but still.
Okay, I promise,
tomorrow we are gonna
have a fun weekend.
- Hey, you got drunk,
it's no biggie.
- I'm such a fuck-up.
- No, you're not.
- Why are you even with me?
- Come on, babe, let's
not go down this road.
- Wait, no, are you horny?
Because I'm sorry, I'm
too drunk for that.
[chuckling]
- I'm fine.
- I'm such a fucking mess.
I'm not big and
successful like Heidi.
- You can't keep comparing
yourself to everyone else.
- I know, I know.
I know that, I know.
- You're doing fine.
All you have to do
tonight is go to sleep.
- Are you mad 'cause I'm
just a weekend girlfriend?
- You're not just a
weekend girlfriend.
- I always leave on Sunday.
- Why don't we talk
about it tomorrow?
- Why, because I'm drunk?
[laughing]
- Yes, because you're
drunk and I'm tired.
- We're okay, right?
- We're perfect.
- I have to say, I think you're
a lot prettier in person.
- Oh, please.
- No, brains and beauty
is a rare combination.
- [Laura] Well, thank you, Adam.
- So, you ready?
- [Laura] Mhmm.
[pleasant music]
- Welcome to Literature Today.
The podcast that covers writers
that are very right now.
I'm here with Laura Snow,
the author of The
Ends of Things.
- It's an honor to be
on your show, Adam.
I listen to it while
I'm walking my dog.
- Oh.
What kind of dog do you have?
- I don't.
I made that up.
I...
- Well, that's, I...
The Ends of Things.
Is that something you
know a lot about, Laura?
- I guess so.
- This book flies in
the face of convention.
It takes all the
rules of literature
and just breaks them all apart.
- Oh, I don't know about that.
- It blew me away.
You are a genius writer, Laura.
Now, you're from
Wisconsin, is that right?
- [Laura] Originally, yes.
- But your perspective
is so much--
- I have lived all over.
I've traveled so much.
I've been, I don't know how
many different countries.
- Well, that is obvious.
I'm just gonna come right
out and say it plainly.
You, Laura, are a highly
successful professional writer
who travels all over the world
and hangs out with
famous people.
- Yes, that's pretty accurate.
- So...
[chuckling]
Why did I just say that?
- I'm sorry?
- Why would I say that?
That's a stupid thing to say.
I wouldn't just...
Is this a dream?
- What?
No.
- This is a stupid fucking
dream sequence, isn't it?
Oh great.
Oh, that's just great.
A dream sequence, yes.
And you're gonna wake up
and gonna wanna tell your
boyfriend all about it
but he won't pay any
attention unless it ends with
and then I started
going down on you.
Listen to me, Laura,
no one wants to hear
about your fucking dreams.
- Okay, fine, maybe
it is a dream, okay?
But would you just
indulge me a little bit?
I had a rough week.
- No, no, no.
Literature Today is a very
important podcast, all right?
I can't waste my time
with some fake-ass book
that hasn't even
been written yet.
- I finished a draft.
- Dream sequence.
How very, very stupid.
Who does that anymore?
Dream sequence,
what's going on here?
ooh, it was all a
dream the whole time!
That's great.
Very cliche.
Even your dreams
are cliche, Laura.
I can't imagine what
your book must be like.
- My book is good.
- Oh, is it?
Is it good, really?
Do you have an editor?
Do you have a publisher?
Do you have a lit agent?
No?
Hm, how about that?
You couldn't even
get on my show.
Stupid fake-ass book.
What a waste of my time.
The Ends of Things!
How about the end of this
fucking dream sequence?
Where am I?
Is this even a real door?
Where does this lead,
your subconscious?
[food sizzling]
[chuckling]
- Okay, so obviously.
- Good morning, sunshine.
- Yeah.
I had the craziest
dream last night.
You know that podcast--
- I made coffee.
I made greasy potatoes
with jalapenos.
- [Laura] Oh, I love
your greasy potatoes.
- And coconut water
and headache medicine.
- [Laura] Goddamn you're good.
- I'm a pro.
I've been through
it enough times.
- Mhmm.
- So what'd you do last night?
- You know that documentary
I was telling you about?
The one about the homeless?
- Was it good?
- So good.
- I should have left early
and watched it with you.
- No, you had fun.
- What is wrong with me?
- Nothing.
So how's Heidi?
Is she still jazzed about
her Jimmy Kimmel thing?
- Oh my God, she's
on top of the world.
- That's good.
- Yeah.
It feels cool to hang
out with her, you know?
We've been friends for
15 years or something,
but now it's like,
this lady's on the TV.
- Did anyone recognize her?
- She's not quite
at that point yet.
- Did you talk to boys?
- No.
[people chatting]
I mean, guys were hitting
on Heidi, like always.
- I'm just being that boyfriend.
It's my job, you know.
- I don't deserve you.
- Yes, you totally do.
- Don't let me forget to
do my unemployment later.
- Okay.
- You ever think about
leaving New York?
- Uh-oh.
There it is.
- No, don't panic.
I'm just asking you a question.
- Well, this is a
red flag subject.
- Look, I'm not going anywhere,
I'm talking about you.
- I have a good job here.
- I know.
- There's culture here.
I mean, where would we even go?
- Somewhere warm.
I think about the sun
and how much I need it.
- It's the beginning of summer.
- Yeah and then it
will be October again.
- That's the way calendars work.
- Maybe I'm just feeling
down about myself.
- [Tom] Leaving is
not always the answer.
- Yeah, I know, Tom.
I'm not talking about leaving.
- Well, it's just scary.
When you think about your past.
- Okay.
We don't have to talk about it.
I'm sorry I asked.
- How about I go down on you,
make you forget about it.
[laughing]
- Yeah, but--
- I'm serious.
- Oh.
- It's the best way to
forget your troubles.
- Stop it. [chuckling]
Is that the?
Get off.
[somber music]
♪ If I were suddenly gone
♪ I could be buried
in your yard ♪
♪ And make my
living down there ♪
♪ I'd share water
with the birds ♪
♪ Make friends with junipers
♪ Be happy going nowhere
♪ But I'm not really gone
♪ Don't think of it that way
- Back for more?
- Yes, please.
- I haven't seen you in awhile.
- Uh, yeah, I came
to a stopping place.
I took some time off, uh,
gave myself some time.
- With your novel?
- Yeah.
- You could still
come in, you know.
Get some coffee, talk to people.
- I know.
I know, you're
right, I'm selfish.
- [Ian] Well, I'm not
saying you're selfish.
- Well, but I am.
- [Ian] I doubt that.
You have, like,
this peaceful aura.
- I have a peaceful aura?
- Yeah, here you go.
- Thanks.
How much is that?
- [Ian] Ah, don't
worry about it.
- Thank you.
- Yeah.
Oh thanks.
- I'm sorry, this is
really embarrassing.
What is your name again?
- Ian.
It's okay.
- Ian.
- And you're Laura.
- Oh god and you remembered.
- It's all right.
Oh hey, I'm doing a show
in the neighborhood,
you should come check it out.
Or at least humor me while
I give you that postcard
that you throw away later.
- What kind of show?
- You'll just have to
come and experience it.
- Oh, a mysterious kind of show.
- It's a variety of
unique performances.
So it might suck.
But it doesn't matter,
cause you're not gonna
actually come anyway.
- How do you know?
Maybe I'll go.
- No one comes to stuff anymore.
People like pictures
of stuff online.
That's the new coming to stuff.
- God, it's true, isn't it?
Well, maybe I can
break that pattern.
- That'd be awesome.
All the information's on there.
- Okay, thanks.
♪ Thank you, I'm with him
♪ Our lives and for
each other's lives ♪
♪ And think of ways
to meet each other ♪
♪ Tonight you'll
regret your tattoos ♪
[people chattering]
♪ I'm spitting the shit that
be dripping with dough ♪
♪ Currency cash, currency flow
♪ I really wish I had mo
♪ Remember when
me and my friend ♪
♪ Used to gab for hours on end
♪ Sipping coffee in the Rav-4
♪ What you fucking rap for
♪ Me, it's pure storytelling
♪ Crappy MC's rapping vapid
like it's Tori Spelling ♪
♪ Corey Feldman
♪ Get lost boy,
you boring, lame ♪
♪ I speaks like a beast,
rest in peace to Corey Haim ♪
[audience laughing]
- Honest!
Why do you think they
call me The Rail Splitter?
But that was before
I had these whiskers.
See, before I ran for
president in 1860,
I never had a beard.
Unless you count Mary Todd.
[laughing]
Just a little joke for
you Log Cabin
Republicans out there.
[whistle blowing]
[audience laughing]
[whistle blowing]
[whistle blowing]
- This one's called
Sour Pickles.
She was like
leave-in conditioner
that I promptly washed out.
But the smell stayed
around for weeks.
Every jacket I owned
smelled like her eventually.
So she became the signature
scent of the Salvation Army.
If you've been to
the one on Bedford
then you know her smell.
Ki
Ki,
So-So.
Ki-Ki!
So
So.
Ki- ki, So-So,
Ashe, Lha, Gyal, Lo,
Tak, Seng, Khyung,
Druk, Di, Yar, Kay!
Thank you.
- Yeah, the 15th, Tuesday.
- All right.
I'll see you there.
Thank you for coming.
- Hi, good job.
- I can't believe you came.
- Yeah, of course.
This is Luis.
- Hey, I'm Ian.
Nice to meet you.
- Really good job.
- Thanks, thanks for coming.
Do you live in Jersey City too?
- [Luis] I was born
and raised here.
- Oh wow.
- But I'm not mad
about gentrification.
I like craft beer.
And expensive pancakes.
[laughing]
- That's good, that's good.
This was just something
weird I put together.
- No, it was very smart.
And witty too.
- Yeah, really good.
- We're gonna go to a barcade
if you guys want
to grab a drink.
- Um, I think I have to pass.
Yeah, we'll let you do
your thing with your peeps.
- [Ian] Ah, my "peeps."
[laughing]
- But thank you for inviting me.
- Yeah, I'll see
you soon, I hope.
- Yeah, definitely.
At the coffee shop.
- At the coffee shop, right.
- Nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.
♪ The land low
♪ I want to meet, shame
♪ Come on
♪ You play when you come along
[chuckling]
- Hey.
- Hey.
So, I'm doing what you said.
I'm coming in, I'm not writing,
just talking to people.
- Well, unfortunately
there's no one here,
so, I led you astray.
- Well, you're here.
- [Ian] I am here.
[laughing]
- But you're probably busy.
- Yeah, it's a
really important job.
- At least you have a job.
- Want a coffee?
- Please.
♪ Feelin' wasted on
- So, what would you
like to talk about?
- Oh God, I don't know.
Let's just start.
- Okay.
Let's begin.
- I'm wondering if
you're a Buddhist
because that chanting you
were doing last night.
- I study Buddhism enough to
know these Tibetan chants,
so I incorporated them,
which maybe was dumb.
- I don't think it
was dumb at all.
I do a lot of yoga so
there's a lot incorporated.
- I do some yoga too, I
mean really beginning stuff.
I got these big yoga blocks.
- There's no shame
in the blocks.
- I got yoga blocks
for Christmas.
My dad wanted to take
me to a Giants game.
- Are you a sports guy?
- I like sports, actually,
I have no problem
going to a Giants game.
My favorite sport
is soccer though.
- I played soccer
when I was a kid.
- Everyone played soccer
when they were a kid.
- Yeah but I was good.
- What position did you play?
- I have no clue but
I was good at it.
- I played in high school,
but I realized I had more
of a future in theater
than I did soccer, so
I quit my senior year.
- I always wanted to do theater
but I didn't have the courage.
- You still can do
theatre if you want to.
- I think it's a
little late for that,
I'm very comfortable sitting
in coffee shops and writing.
- Maybe it would shake
things up for you.
- I always wanted to be
a stand-up comedian too,
but I have absolutely
nothing funny to talk about.
- That you can still do,
there are open
mics all the time.
I tried it a couple times.
- [Laura] How'd it go?
- Not good enough
to keep doing it.
Basically I learned
that it wasn't something
you were either good at or not
but something you had to work
at, just like everything else,
and I thought, "Well I
already have enough of those."
- Did people laugh?
- Here and there.
I learned it was a much bigger
thing than I thought it was.
- Most things are, aren't they?
- I'm starting to realize that.
I feel like as I get older,
all the little
things fall apart.
- Exactly.
Once you've seen
your friends achieve
what we all want to achieve
and then you see the
continuation of it all,
that nothing stops once
you've achieved something.
- I definitely see that.
- I have a friend
who's starting to be
a really successful musician.
- Uh-huh.
- And besides just
being happy for her
and dealing with my own
feelings about her success,
it's also a really
good opportunity for me
to hold up a mirror
to myself and say,
okay, what am I doing?"
- Like, why am I not
doing what she's doing?
- No, not exactly that because
we do very different things
so it's not a direct comparison,
but more just looking at myself
I can see all these
different sides of life
and I think, what do
I want out of it all?
- What's gonna make me happy?
Because there's this
pressure to get a real job
and make real money but I know
that money isn't
the thing I'm after.
I mean, it's
different for everyone
and it changes, it
evolves, it has to.
- What you think you want,
we all graduate from
college or whatever
and we think we want
this certain thing
and we get jealous
when someone gets it
but then so many times I look
at that person or that thing
and it's not even that
I wouldn't want that,
it's just, I know it's not me.
- That's really
important, I think.
It's like, what do
I see myself doing?
- You know, I realized that
there is a big difference
between wanting to be a writer
and wanting to
write all day long.
Because being a writer, or
being an actor, or being a poet,
it's just about identity.
I mean, who do you need
to prove something to?
- Who do you need to show
that you are a certain thing,
because I've had friends
who experience some
success in something
and then decide they
don't want it after all,
so they move back
home, they get married.
- Which is a whole other thing,
getting married, having kids.
- Trust me, I've heard
enough about that recently.
- Oh my God, you have too?
- It just seems like it's all
around, even in New York City,
it's like you get
to a certain age,
and everyone's having
weddings and having babies
and moving to the suburbs.
- My other best friend
just did exactly that,
so now I have two best
friends and one went this way
and the other went
the total opposite way
and so I get it from
all sides, you know,
and even if I tell
myself, I am not that,
still someone else, like
my mom, will look at me
and compare me to them.
- It's just natural, I guess.
It's so hard not to
compare yourself.
Luckily, the girl
I'm dating is only 27
so she's not quite
ready for all that yet.
♪ A couple miles away
♪ Fallin' in love
I don't even know ♪
♪ What you're ready to say
♪ Wrong love
♪ Wrong love, love, love
♪ Wrong love
- Yeah, my boyfriend's 37,
so he actually does
want to get married
but we've only been
together wight months
so I'm like, give it time, okay?
- I've always been so sure
I was gonna get divorced
that I never even really
thought about getting married.
- Are your parents divorced?
- No, that's the weird thing,
they're still together
and they're like the
perfect old married couple.
- Yeah, mine are too
but it's still scary.
- [Ian] Maybe that's
part of the fear,
like we could never
live up to it.
- That we can
never achieve that.
Or that we see something in
them, that maybe we think,
maybe they should
have gotten a divorce.
- It's all so fucking confusing.
- It really is.
There's no one answer.
Because everyone's like,
why don't you get married?
You should get married.
But I have friends
who got married
and then got divorced and
nobody thinks that's weird,
that's just normal.
- It's like, well
at least she tried.
- Right, but we're
in the same place,
the only difference
is she had a wedding.
- It all flows like this,
everything is fluid,
that's what people
don't understand.
It's not steps on a ladder,
like, this, this,
this, then this.
Because life doesn't
work that way.
I mean, you could get married
and then your husband dies
in a horrible accident
or I don't know.
- Or he murders me
because I'm not actually
a good wife after all,
I'm really only good at
hiding away on my computer
and writing my stories.
- Yeah, you have to
find someone that fits
with what you wanna
do day-to-day.
Which goes back to what we
were talking about earlier.
- Yeah, which is why I'm not
sure I want to marry Tom.
I mean, we have fun together,
but as a lifelong commitment.
- Lifelong, exactly.
- I mean, I like watching
stuff on Netflix too.
I like just hanging
out, being homebodies,
I get it, we're both in our 30s,
but sometimes I want to
grab the coffee table
and right in the middle of
us watching fucking Netflix,
throw it right in his
fucking 55 inch TV
and shatter the
whole fucking thing.
[car horn honks]
- I'm that way.
- Okay.
I'm that way.
- Goodnight.
[somber guitar music]
♪ The coroner proclaimed
me in good health ♪
♪ And released me
♪ Praiseworthy are
the ghosts that fly ♪
♪ Contemplations,
congregations ♪
♪ Continual release
♪ Morose are the
ghosts that fly ♪
♪ You're the spectral waves
♪ Lifting dead weight
♪ Gifted are the
ghosts that fly ♪
- Was that your boyfriend?
Who came to my show?
- Luis?
No, he's a friend.
He's obviously gay.
- Oh.
I thought that was him.
- That wasn't him.
- I guess I was hoping
your boyfriend was gay.
- Why?
♪ When all you have
- Maybe I shouldn't
have come over here.
- I think what's gonna
happen is inevitable.
- What's gonna happen?
- I don't know.
- But you know it's inevitable.
- Exactly.
♪ The ghosts that fly
♪ Gone are the ghosts
♪ The ghosts that fly
♪ Serenading few
♪ Are as hopeless
as you'd think ♪
♪ Corrosive are the
ghosts that fly ♪
♪ Condemned their path through
♪ Burning for a drink
♪ Impatient are the
ghosts that fly ♪
♪ When all you have
- Does that mean
the real Lord Byron?
- Shh.
- Yes, yield those lips,
for which I'd brave more than
I here shall dare to tell.
Thy innocence and mine to save,
I bid thee now a last,
farewell.
[coughing]
Yes, yield that
breast, to seek despair
and hope no more thy
soft embrace, which to
obtain, my soul would dare,
all, all reproach,
but thy disgrace.
At least from guilt
shall thou be free.
No matron shall
thy shame reprove.
Though cureless
pangs may prey on me,
no martyr shall thou be to love.
[clapping]
Thank you, thank you,
you're very kind.
I shall now like to open
the floor to any questions.
Yes?
- Hi, first of all, great
job, you're a good writer.
I'm wondering, did you have
anyone specific in mind
that you were, like, writing to?
- Yes, yes I did.
Her name is Laura.
And ours is a love story that
spans continents, countries,
even time itself.
She is the incarnation of
all matters of the heart.
And she will go down
as one of the great
lovers in history.
- I'm not seeing that
on your Wikipedia.
- But alas, our
love was not to be.
For she was not a
reality in my time.
Yes?
- So, do you, like,
have a day job?
Or is this all that you do?
- There you are sir,
keep reading.
- Thank you.
- Hi, Mr. Lord Byron.
- I came here only for you.
Men will fall at your feet.
They will compose sonnets,
they will wage wars over you,
they will chase you
around the world.
I came to see if maybe
I may have a chance.
- Sorry.
Things are really
complicated right now.
There's these two other guys--
- Say no more.
Say no more.
Ah, the sweet poetry
of heartbreak.
- Sorry.
I'm not an ideal
girlfriend, you know that.
- I don't need you to
be an ideal anything.
- But it can't just
be a weekend thing.
- You're the one who makes
it a weekend thing, Laura.
You could move in
if you wanted to.
- But I don't think
I'm ready for that,
that's the problem.
- Look, if you're
breaking up with me,
then that's what this is.
- I'm sorry, Tom.
- It's not just, um...
You just don't
feel enough for me?
- You deserve more than this.
- But you're not gonna be
the one to give it to me.
- I think we are looking
for different things.
- Look, I'm just gonna
stop this right here,
you don't have to keep
coming up with lines.
- They're not lines.
- Yes, they are,
they're breakup lines.
I know I'm not the writer here,
but I know when you're
coming up with lines.
Look, let's just leave it.
- I think I am thinking
about leaving New York.
- See.
I fucking knew that shit.
- [Laura] But I knew that you
wouldn't want to come with me.
- But you're not giving
me a chance though.
Maybe I could see
leaving New York,
but you don't think
like a couple.
You have this enormous ego.
It's like it's easy to
fall in love with Laura
and to start dating Laura,
but really that just means
we're both in love with Laura.
We're both just dating Laura.
- Maybe I should come
back for my stuff.
- You don't really
have much here.
You never did.
- So are you gonna break
up with what's-her-name?
- We're not that
serious, but yeah.
- Like?
- I mean, not today probably.
- Why not today?
- Well, it's just a shitty time.
Her grandma just died.
I mean, she was dying already
and I'm not a part
of this at all,
but she's down in
Florida right now, so.
- Oh, I see.
Bad timing.
- Yeah.
Really bad timing.
- I always have bad timing.
Like, right when I
was leaving Portland,
I met this guy, we
totally fell in love.
- Oh yeah?
- He was a musician.
I mean, he was all over the
place, we had no chance.
But I decided that I
wanted to live in New York.
And once I decide
something like that,
even if it's just
a quick decision,
there's no stopping me.
- So you don't talk
to him anymore?
- Why would we?
- [Ian] Well, you fell
in love at some point.
- Yeah, exactly, how can
we be anything after that?
- Not even just hey,
hope you're doing well?
- Not really my style.
- What is your style?
- Many cities, many men.
- Wow.
[laughing]
- I'm half-joking.
- Yeah, but only half.
- Why are you so worried
about my ex-boyfriend?
- I'm not.
- He'll be fine.
You want me to
reconnect with him?
- No,
I just might be him one day.
- Oh.
Okay.
Well, technically you
still have a girlfriend.
- I guess.
Kind of.
- Timing.
- I gotta go that way.
- Okay.
I gotta go to the city.
- What are you up to?
- I gotta go get my stuff from
my ex-boyfriend's apartment,
do that whole thing.
- Right, okay.
So we'll, uh?
- Of course, yeah.
- Okay.
See ya.
- Yep, see ya.
- [Man] I already spoke
to your roommates.
- Isn't there some
kind of regulation
against raising it that much?
$300?
- There would be if it was
rent-controlled or regulated.
Sorry, Laura.
- I've been here two years.
Isn't there some sort of
leeway for being a good tenant?
- [Man] You haven't
always paid on time.
- But most of the time.
- It's not for another month.
You have time to
figure things out.
- Okay.
- How's your writing going?
- Fine.
- You know, if you're
a really good writer,
maybe you can make
some money doing that.
- Yeah.
[somber guitar music]
♪ Eulogize me now
♪ Wanna know what I done wrong
♪ To deserve all this song
♪ My conscious
♪ Eulogize me now
♪ I wanna know
what I done right ♪
♪ To deserve all this fight
♪ Of my only life
♪ Hold strangers' hand
♪ Praying for the end
♪ It's no way to spend
♪ Your dying days
♪ Tell me what I've done wrong
♪ And I can
♪ Move on
♪ Hold strangers' hand
♪ Waiting on the end
♪ It's no way to spend
♪ Your dying day
- Hi, I'm Dave.
You wanna sit down?
- Sure.
- What's your name?
[moaning]
So what'd you say,
you were a writer?
- Yeah, I just finished a novel.
- I'd love to read it.
- I don't think so.
- Why not?
- It's--
- You scared?
- No, it's not really ready
for a lot of people to read.
- You gotta get it out there.
You sending it out?
- Yeah, a little.
- Any bites?
- Can't get anyone
important to read it.
My sister likes it.
- Your sister's important.
[laughing]
- Not in the publishing world.
- What's the title?
- The Ends of Things.
- I damn sure know
enough about that.
The ends of things?
Like marriage and shit?
- It's just sort of an
all-encompassing title.
- Yeah, man.
I know enough about that.
- The title might change.
- Hm.
The Ending of Shit.
Yeah, man.
Tough racket.
I could never figure out
how to make money
doing anything cool,
so fuck it, you know?
- How long have you lived here?
- Not exactly the
penthouse suite is it?
- Well.
- My buddy Derek and his
wife are letting me crash.
It's been a tough
couple of years, man.
- Yeah.
Me too.
- Would you ever
consider being with me?
Like, for real?
- Sure.
- Yeah?
- Yeah, why not?
- You're fucking lyin'.
That's okay.
You're young.
- I'm not that young.
- Ah well.
At least I got my taste, right?
[somber music]
- [Girl] Have you been on
the beach this whole time?
- [Laura] No, not
the whole time.
I met someone.
- [Girl] Oh shit!
- [Guy] Nice, who'd you meet?
- I don't know.
His name's Dave.
- Oh, Dave, that makes sense.
I did coke with him once.
- Oh.
- Yeah, old guy, right?
Really cool though.
- Do you want some rum?
- I should go take a shower.
- People are coming over,
we're gonna hang
in the back, okay?
- [Laura] Okay.
- You should come hang.
- I'll be here.
[laughing]
- She's pretty cool, huh?
- She's pretty
directionless though,
I mean, what is she
doing, you know?
She's like 40.
- 32!
- Yeah, rounded to the
nearest 40, that's 40, dude.
That's what you get from
Craigslist, I guess.
- Do you think she
listens to us fuck?
- Probably.
[waves rumbling]
- See, if I were
gonna get a tattoo,
I'd want it to mean something.
- [Guy] Yeah, buddy.
- You know, like stand
for, like, world peace.
- Yeah.
Hey, babe.
It's like you were saying,
no one wants to just do it.
Just go for it.
Go to Europe.
- [Guy] Exactly.
- [Dylan] Or Africa.
- Dude, I've always
wanted to go to Africa.
- See, we should go to Africa.
Save our money and just, like,
find the cheapest
way to go to Africa
and make that dream a reality.
- It's like everyone
wants to get married
or get some career.
Like, why are they in a hurry?
It'll all still be there
tomorrow, I promise you.
- I wanna travel,
that's for sure.
That's definite.
- Yeah, man, me too.
- Hey, what are y'all playing?
- We're playing Keep It Up.
- [Guy] Who's winning?
- We all are, man.
We're all winning.
[laughing]
- I'm gonna go cross-country,
that's something I
definitely want to do.
- Dude, yeah, fuck, man, me too,
I just want to, like,
see all that shit.
- I've done it.
- Seriously?
- Yeah.
I mean, it's definitely
something you should experience,
but it's also just a lot
of highway, you know?
- But all those
different landscapes
and meeting all those
different people.
- Yeah.
- That's awesome, I cannot wait.
I wanna get, like, an RV.
Me and Dylan have
talked about it a bunch.
- Dude, I'm fucking
coming with you guys.
- Yes, yes, you totally can.
We were thinking
about next summer,
just like, see who's down and
split gas and all that shit.
- I'm so fucking down.
I just have to get out.
So what's your deal?
You're coming from New York?
- Yeah.
Before that, Portland.
Before that, L.A.,
just for a little bit.
And Texas, which was random.
- Wow.
- Yeah.
Home girl's been all over.
- Oh, well, it's not really
as romantic as it sounds.
[laughing]
♪ Your one piece or two piece
♪ The Speedo we
rockin', the one piece ♪
- So, do you love him?
- I mean, yeah, I think so.
- So why isn't he here with you?
- I didn't give
him much warning,
I just sort of left.
But I told him
where I was going.
- Isn't that a little fucked up?
I'm just asking.
- He was dating someone else.
Some 27 year-old.
Which, I know that's
not young for you guys.
- No, we totally get it.
That's like a 17
year-old for us.
- Right?
And also I had just
broken up with someone
and I just felt like,
I have to move on.
I have to leave.
And if it's meant to be, then--
- What about Facebook and
Instagram and all that shit?
- [Laura] I'm taking
a break from all that.
- Oh my God, I wish
I could do that.
- Me too.
- I mean, it definitely
felt like it was love.
But, it was maybe just
fairytale bullshit.
- How do you know?
- Because he's not here.
- Maybe he's just scared.
- He knows how I feel about him.
- My butt is itching today.
- He shouldn't let fear
stop him from doing things.
I'm scared.
We're all fucking scared.
But we grit our teeth and we go,
you know, we do things.
We pack our bags, we drive
cross-country, right?
- Yeah, hell yeah!
- We sit in the sun
and we drink beer!
And we eat the best cheese curls
that have ever been curled!
We have Tiki-torches afire,
the torches are aflame!
I don't have to be married,
I do not have to be
a successful writer
because you know what,
it doesn't matter,
because it is all happening
right here, right now!
This is it!
This really is just it!
Oh thank you.
Thank you, boys and girls,
'cause I'm 32 years-old!
Thank you, 32, thank you.
Thank you, I am 32.
Thank you.
[somber guitar music]
♪ The air is full
of radio waves ♪
♪ The air is full
of radio waves ♪
♪ Somewhere
♪ Deep within my mind
♪ There's a beacon beaming
signals out to you ♪
♪ Steady
♪ Periodic
♪ A broadcast from a station
♪ It's never off the
air from this point on ♪
♪ No matter what befalls
♪ I am a sonic phantom
♪ Passing through your walls
♪ I used to be a quitter
- [Ian] So do you
have a lease here?
- No, I'm doing
a month-to-month.
You know me.
But, it's kind of
a drifter place
and everybody's really cool.
They're young.
They're really young.
Did you quit your job or
do you have to go back?
- I'm a manager there.
- Really?
- Yeah.
- I didn't know that.
- For the last two years.
So yes, I have to go back.
- So what is this,
like a vacation?
- I don't know what it is.
- My whole life's a vacation,
that's what I decided.
- I have a hotel.
- [Laura] What, why?
- I didn't know what
the situation was here
or even if you
wanted me to stay.
- Stay here.
Yeah, cancel that shit.
- I've never done
anything like this before.
I mean, it's exciting.
It's a nervous kind of exciting.
But good, you know.
- Let's drink our tequila.
- Okay.
- Okay.
- I'm sorry.
This is weird.
I shouldn't have come here.
I feel like I'm
forcing something.
You left New York, right?
You left me behind.
And now I just show up.
Who shows up?
No one just shows up anymore.
This is the 21st century,
we have a hundred different
ways to contact each other.
I should have messaged you,
I should have sent you a
picture of my dick at least.
I expect you to go in blind?
With no dick pics?
What if it changed?
I don't even know
if you want me here.
Do you want me here?
- I pictured you
walking down that pier
a million times.
I'm not really sure
if I'm dreaming
this whole thing right now.
- You are.
- I am?
- Yes.
- Wait, am I?
Wait, I am?
[laughing]
- Are you really not sure?
Did you go crazy already?
[somber music]
[thumping]
[Laura moaning]
- Stop it.
Stop it, Dylan.
[Laura moaning]
[pleasant piano music]
[singing in foreign language]
- [Cathy] So is he
gonna move here?
- We haven't really
talked about it.
- Must be nice having guys fly
around the world to see you.
- Or just a rental car
down the East Coast.
- Still.
[giggling]
- He has to go home tomorrow,
but for the future, who knows,
we're sort of leaving it open.
- That's awesome.
No commitments, you
don't feel trapped.
Sometimes I think me
and Dylan are too young
for what we're doing.
- Nah, you're good.
- But then I look
at him and I'm like,
fuck, dude, I wanna marry
this fucking dude, you know?
- Yeah.
[waves rumbling]
I think I'm falling
in love with you.
[waves rumbling]
- No, I mean, day-to-day,
what will you be doing?
- Same thing I always do.
Write, do yoga,
drink a lot of water.
Probably start
waitressing somewhere
when unemployment runs out.
- Well, it's a
nice, quaint place.
- What are you gonna
do in New York?
- Yeah, I mean, same
thing I've done.
Work at the coffee shop.
Do my thing.
- That's just our
reality, isn't it?
We're both--
- What?
- Stubborn.
- Yeah.
I mean, I guess.
But I also feel
like you ran away.
- Yeah.
And you could run away too.
- Yeah, but, in a way, I can't.
- Exactly.
Both stubborn.
- [Ian] Won't you get lonely?
- I'm very comfortable
being alone.
That's sort of the problem.
- Yeah, except when you're not.
"Many cities, many men."
- I was being flippant.
- There's the guy
you broke up with,
then there's me, then there's
some old guy at the beach.
- You said you weren't
mad about that.
- Being mad doesn't matter.
But it means that
you're somewhere.
I don't know where,
but you are somewhere.
- Well, you were somewhere
too, dating your 27 year-old.
- We broke up and I took
the time that I needed.
- [Laura] Fine.
This is silly.
- [Ian] Is it?
- I'm ready.
I'm open.
I'm here.
- Yeah, you're here.
- So what, I have to
move back to New York
if I'm really ready?
- No, not necessarily,
I just mean are you ready
to not be fucking around?
- I live my life a certain
way, it's not fucking around.
- I know, I didn't...
I just think if things
are out of whack,
then you do things, slowly,
to put them more in whack.
- Well, I don't like
doing things slowly.
Life's just gonna have
to be out of whack.
So will I see you again?
- Laura, I wanna see
you all the time.
So, maybe we'll
figure something out.
It's not like you went to China.
- I could go to China.
- [Ian] Well, if you do.
- You'll follow me to China?
- Probably not.
It is possible to
escape, you know,
if you really want to.
- See ya.
I went to the beach
because I wanted to live,
what's the word?
Deliberately.
- That's very spiritual of you.
- Please, Sharon,
I don't wanna act
like I'm some spiritual leader.
- But you are.
Your book, The Ends of Things,
contains a lot of wisdom.
And the way you're meditating
now, letting everything go,
focusing only on the breath,
it's very inspiring.
- Thank you.
- If you're just joining
us on Mindful Chat,
we're here with
best-selling author
and spiritual
leader, Laura Snow.
- I'm very honored
to be here, Sharon.
- Now, tell me more about
moving to the beach on a whim,
I think that's just great.
- I lived with a group
of younger adults
who became my friends.
I don't want to
call them disciples
but I think they
found a teacher in me.
- Very generous.
- I think I related
to them because
I maintain a youthful
outlook on life.
- We all should.
- What about you, Sharon?
I'd like to hear more about you.
- No one ever asks about me.
- It's part of my thing.
- Okay.
Well, after graduate
school, I traveled to India
where I studied with my guru
and practiced meditation
and yoga and now I'm
a Buddhist teacher.
I work with at-risk
youth in inner cities.
I've had five books
published, non-fiction.
In addition to a
couple of novels.
Those were mostly for fun.
- Uh huh.
- Now, I--
- Cool, cool.
Should we get back to talking
about me and my book now?
- Oh.
Yeah, of course.
- Just 'cause, my
publisher would be mad.
- No.
Yeah.
The Ends of Things.
[somber guitar music]
♪ The coroner proclaimed
me in good health ♪
♪ And released me
♪ Praiseworthy are
the ghosts that fly ♪
[laughing]
♪ Contemplations,
congregations ♪
♪ Continual release
♪ Morose are the
ghosts that fly ♪
- I read your thing, dude.
It's really dope.
The End of Stuff.
- Thanks, Dylan.
- You know what you should do?
You should get on social media
and connect with
publishers or whatever.
Hashtags and shit.
I know you're not really
that type of person
but you can't write in a vacuum.
Dude, your shit is good.
- Yeah, you're right.
- You're really pretty
too, you know that?
You shouldn't have
left New York,
that's for sure.
Want one?
- No, thanks.
- I'd like to live in New York.
Or New Orleans.
Fucking sweet.
Like, London or some shit.
Tokyo.
- Come on, one beer.
I haven't seen you
in a couple months.
- Okay, but really, I
just came by to say hello,
just as a friend.
- Whatever you need, doll.
- It's warm.
- [Dave] Yeah.
- There you go,
the lap of luxury.
I'm getting my own place.
- Oh yeah?
- I signed the
lease this morning,
so pretty soon I'll
be a real adult.
- That's great, congratulations.
- I'm glad you're here
to celebrate it with.
- Me too.
- I gotta piss.
If you gotta go to the bathroom,
it's the one near the laundry.
It's not so clean,
but the toilet works.
[birds chirping]
[pleasant guitar music]
- You guys are all set.
[chuckling]
- I feel like this
is my big moment
to say something brilliant.
I don't have
anything, obviously.
I'm just here.
- Hi.
- Yeah, that's good.
Hi.
- [Ian] You have your
whole life with you, I see.
Moving back?
- I think so, yeah.
- That's good.
I think, more
opportunity for you here.
At least you can have meetings
and send emails and be...
- What are you talking about?
- I'm saying, you're in
New York, that's good.
- Ian, I came back
here because of you.
You realize that, don't you?
That's obvious, isn't it?
- You didn't really
keep up the chatter.
- The chatter?
What does that mean?
- It's been like two months.
- I figured we were
figuring stuff out.
- Yeah, I guess we were.
- So what is going on?
- I got back together
with Chelsea.
We're talking about
getting a place.
My rent's going up
and I don't wanna live
with roommates anymore.
- That's not a good reason to--
- It's not the only reason.
- Do you love her?
No, that's stupid, of
course you'll say yes.
Do you wanna be with her?
Really?
♪ They say hey
♪ Morning called
on the 11th day ♪
♪ So you'll just wait a while
- This is really difficult.
I felt so strongly about
you, I still feel so...
I tried, you know?
- Yeah and I'm right here.
I showed up, just like you.
So it's not like you're
more heroic in this.
- I'm not trying to be heroic.
- So, Ian, we want the same
thing, what's the problem?
- The problem is we don't
have a relationship.
- We don't have a
normal relationship.
- It doesn't have to be normal
but it has to be a relationship.
You didn't even
want to be friends.
- I don't need friends.
- Honestly, I've just never
been sure if you really,
actually care about me.
- What do you think I am?
- I think you're a good person.
- You obviously don't.
- I do.
It's just, like,
you're chasing something
and I don't feel
like it includes me.
♪ Some mystery that
you wanna solve ♪
- I feel so stupid.
- Don't feel stupid.
- Don't tell me what to feel.
- I'm just trying
to comfort you.
- I have every right to
feel stupid, look at me.
I have everything I
own, which is nothing.
I came here to this
fucking coffee shop.
I'm at least gonna own
this feeling of stupid.
At least I'm not moving
in with some girl
just to save on rent.
[phone ringing]
- [Ian] I gotta
get back to work.
- Okay.
- [Ian] Do you want a coffee?
[somber music]
- Oh, you're in New York, great.
We'll get a drink
when I get back.
No, no, I'm in Austin.
Oh, oh, but hey, yeah,
I'm subletting my place
but you should talk to the
guy who's staying there,
he's like an important
journalist or something.
[somber music]
- Yeah.
Yeah, you should totally
come here another weekend,
we had so much fun.
Maybe we can do it at
the end of the month.
We just have so much
going on right now.
[dial tone ringing]
[phone buzzing]
- Laura Snow.
- Not tonight, boo.
[somber music]
- [Woman] Are you Laura?
- Yes.
- Then I'm gonna take the
liberty of sitting down.
I'm Chelsea, Ian's, you
know, girlfriend or whatever.
- Oh my God, of course you are.
Look at you, you're fucking
adorable and perfect.
- I'm sorry about Ian.
He doesn't know what he wants.
He's confused.
- Yeah, he is, right?
- He's not brave enough
to follow his heart.
I know that.
You know that.
- Yes, thank you.
- So, I knocked
some sense into him.
You're the one he should
be with, obviously.
- Okay, thanks, um, so...
- So you can go ahead
over to his apartment
and unpack, I guess.
- What about you?
- Oh, I'll be fine!
I'm just gonna
wait it out again.
- Wait it out?
- Yeah.
I mean, after you guys break up.
- Oh, we might stay together.
Yeah, what we had was real.
- Eeeh, yeah,
I mean, we're talking
about a relationship,
not your strong point,
let's be honest.
I mean, after you've gone
to all the restaurants,
cooked each other all the meals,
seen each other in
all the outfits,
shown each other all the
different ways your parents
have screwed you up, that's
probably gonna be it.
So when you decide to pack up
and find someone new in
your long list of lovers,
in your oh-so-adventurous life,
I'll be there to take Ian back.
So there's nothing
to worry about!
- Okay, okay.
Yeah, and maybe,
one day, you and I
could even be friends.
- Oh, no.
I hate you with so much passion.
- Oh, really?
- Yeah.
I've attended meetings.
I've been to support groups
for women who hate other women.
- You're making me feel
really guilty right now.
- Oh, I learned this in group.
I can't make you feel anything.
It's your feeling.
You have to own it.
So, yeah, go ahead,
Ian's waiting for you.
In hell.
Where you belong.
You fucking dickhead.
- Hey.
Sorry to call.
I mean, you maybe don't care
but I'm kind of in
a bind right now.
[chuckling]
- I don't like
seeing you like this.
- Like what?
- Sheepish.
Like you did
something really bad.
- I wasn't a good girlfriend.
- So what, Laura?
You've always said that as if
it's some badge
of fucking honor.
You're not a good
girlfriend, congratulations.
How could anybody be with you?
You're such a fuck-up.
You're unpredictable.
I have to say, it
loses its charm.
- I don't have to stay
here, I could get a hotel.
- I'm not saying
that, I'm just...
You can sleep on the
couch, it's fine.
I'm not gonna throw
you out on the street.
I just have leftover anger.
- That's totally fair.
- Do you want
something to drink?
- No, I'm okay with
water, thank you.
- So where did you think
you were gonna stay?
- With the guy that I
met after we broke up.
- That you met
after we broke up,
okay, I believe that.
- Well, I mean, I
met him, I guess--
- It doesn't matter.
I mean, actually I guess I do
kinda wanna know the story,
just 'cause I'm curious,
but I think it hurts
too much to hear,
so for now we'll just...
- Yeah.
- Maybe you can find
a sublet somewhere.
- I'm gonna start looking now.
Like right now.
- Start tomorrow, please.
Okay, I really don't like
seeing you like this.
- I'm 32-years-old, Tom.
This is ridiculous.
Why'd I turn out like this?
What did I do wrong?
- Nothing.
You got a degree,
you've moved to all these
different places by yourself,
you've had jobs,
you've had apartments,
you've paid rent,
most of the time.
It's not like the rest of the
world has it all figured out
and you're just some fuck-up.
Everything is unstable.
You just put one foot
in front of the other.
That's like the
only thing to do.
- [Laura] I know, I'm trying.
♪ It's a specialty of mine
- Okay fellas, that's $7.24
- So, where do you live?
- I'm sorry?
- I mean in general.
Not like, what's your address?
- Yeah, I just moved to
a new place in Newark.
- Newark, ugh, shit.
- Oh well, hey, it's
what I can afford.
- So what else do you do?
Are you an actress?
- I'm a writer.
- You're too pretty to
be a writer, come on.
- Thank you.
Okay.
Well, you fellas
have a great day.
- Oh my God, I
fucking suck at this.
- No, hey, you're doing good.
- No, ever since
my divorce, it's--
- Look, just walk it off.
- Facebook.
- Get back in there.
You're fine.
- Do you maybe?
So you wanna grab
a drink sometime?
- Oh, I'm flattered.
But I'm sort of focused
on other things right now.
- I get it, I get it.
Thank you.
This has been helpful.
- See, there you go.
- Okay, well, good
luck with the divorce.
- Thank you.
I appreciate this.
Really.
- Every little bit helps.
- Yeah.
[somber guitar music]
- Oh hi.
What, wait.
Okay.
No, no, no, no.
Well, no one in the building
knows where you
came from, kitty.
What's that about?
You just found
your way here, huh?
Are you a good kitty?
Or are you evil?
[giggling]
How about Pepper?
I always wanted to
be called Pepper.
But I didn't think anyone
would take me seriously.
Not that anyone does now.
You can't question it too much.
It'll drive you crazy.
It's like you.
Where'd you come from?
I'll never know.
I will never know that.
That doesn't matter,
'cause you're here now.
With Ian it felt different.
It felt like maybe he
could be a true love.
Like maybe we would find a
cabin by a lake somewhere
and grow old together
and have kids.
Or maybe a cat.
[sighing]
But I guess not.
What can I say?
Being human's fucking
tough, Pepper.
It's real tough.
You have no idea.
[purring]
- Owning a house is just
one thing after another.
We had this tree, you
see that right there?
And it started splitting
and Scott was like,
"Babe, look at that tree."
- It's gonna fall on our shed.
- "It's gonna fall on our shed."
So we had to pay
thousands of dollars
just to have some remove it
before it destroyed our shed.
Stupid trees.
- Stupid trees.
- But it's worth it.
♪ This is for us now
♪ Foolish little games
- I'm really proud
of you, Alice.
- Thanks.
So what's new with you?
I feel like I haven't
seen you in months.
- I got a cat.
- You did?
- Yeah.
- That's great.
[laughing]
[somber music]
♪ Put on your second skin
♪ For you to learn to live in
♪ Lose all those
bumps and ridges ♪
♪ That you're used to
♪ Hide your thoughts
in on knees ♪
♪ Behind a false disguise
♪ A mask that fanes normality
♪ Simulation by design
♪ The words they say
♪ The words they mean
♪ Aren't always the same thing
♪ The words they say
♪ The words they mean
♪ Aren't always the same thing
♪ So I wear my mask
♪ So I can be seen
♪ So I wear my mask
♪ So I can be seen
♪ Gravity has shifted in
my center of the universe ♪
♪ My identity assembled
by foreigners ♪
♪ Clouds in every
♪ Silver lining
♪ Certainty is fleeting
♪ Strip searching
♪ People's words
♪ To find no
semblance of meaning ♪
♪ The words they say
♪ The words they mean
♪ Aren't always the same thing
♪ The words they say
♪ The words they mean
♪ Aren't always the same thing
♪ So I wear my mask
♪ So I can be seen
♪ So I wear my mask
♪ So I can be seen
♪ The words they say
♪ The words they mean
aren't always the ♪