Lady Liberty (1971) - full transcript

Excuse me,

you must go to your seats
and put on your seat belts.

We're about to land.

Sorry, we're about to land.

THE MORTADELLA
AKA LADY LIBERTY

You smell that?
What were they smoking?

I'd better tell Bob right away.

Miss, excuse me.

We're in New York.

What?

Oh, what a pity.



I wanted to see it
from the air.

We didn't want to wake you.
You slept so soundly.

I was so sleepy.

Would you believe
I haven't slept so well in 4 years?

I thinks it's happiness
which has this effect.

I'm getting married!

Cheers!
- Thanks.

Congratulations.

Maddalena!

OK, you may go. Miss? Please.
- Yes.

She didn't come. She didn't!
- There she is, idiot!

My congratulations!
- It's me!

What a nice frame!

Look! A gift from my co-workers!
All of them!



He can't hear you.
- No?

The glass is sound-proof.

He's my fiance.
- Miss, anything to declare?

Oh, yes: I am…

I am very happy to be
in your country.

What's inside?
- Nothing.

A wedding present
from our co-workers.

I'm marrying him.

See the handsome, dark,
young man up there?

The one with the little flags?
- Hello there.

What present did they give you?
It's not a bomb, is it?

Please, it's mortadella.

Pork meat, very tasty.

Then I was right to say it was a bomb.
You can't bring meat in.

No! Mortadella is
a kind of sausage.

I'm not sure how you say it.
It's not in the dictionary.

Like salami but way better,
you see, more delicate.

Yes, but you can't bring
meat into our country.

It could be made from diseased animals,
and worse than any bomb.

Miss, I better take it.
- Diseased? You mean sick?

Sick?
This is the highest quality!

Made with the best pigs in Italy,
especially for us.

I don't know about pigs,
but the law says you can't!

How dare you?
Michele! Come here! Get down!

As I must inform you,
the law forbids bringing any meat

into our country!
- Please, gimme me a break!

Hey, get back here!

Bill! Stop her, Bill!

One moment, Miss.
What's the problem?

What problem? He's crazy!

He says there's a law against
my wedding present. Ain't that nuts?

Please behave.
- OK, I'll talk to you.

It's for the best.
- Goddamn…

This one's obsessed with bombs.
- What's the matter, Tim?

That package has pork.

It does?
Wait, let's call Dominic.

Hello? Dominic?
- Crazy.

Don't get smart with me, Miss.

Who said anything?

No? Just watch it.
You think I'm dumb? - No!

Dominic's coming now.

Well then, boys?
- Chief.

Miss,

you're surely aware of our

laws regarding narcotics?

Even through Italy,

drug dealers have ways
to get drugs to our country.

You may be unwittingly
carrying drugs.

Huh? Was the pig on drugs?

It's salami, not drugs, Chief.

Sorry,
my colleague wasn't clear.

It'd be better to talk more calmly.
Would you mind coming with me?

But Michele is waiting.

We haven't seen
each other for a century.

A century?

Then he must be
impatient to see you.

And I'm not?

Is here fine?
- Yeah.

Now then, my name's Dominic.

And you?
- Maddalena.

A beautiful name. I like it.

Thanks, me too.

You see, I work for customs

and I want to explain
the situation.

OK?
- OK.

The fact is that US law
prohibits the importation

of pork products of any kind.

The reason is that
we must be very careful

not to let in a disease
called swine flu.

These pigs never
even had a cold.

Right. I don't doubt it, but…

the law makes no exceptions,
unfortunately.

I'm afraid it must be burned.
- But it's just mortadella!

Why don't you burn me too?
I could be diseased too.

It's excellent meat!

And I can guarantee it
because my co-workers

made one especially
for me and Michele.

He loves it.

This is my wedding gift
and you want to take it away?

I thought this was a free country.
Some freedom!

Magdalena…
- Michele would never forgive me

if I didn't fight
such a stupid law!

He's a real man.
You don't know him.

He made me a real woman.
And I'm infinitely grateful.

I want my Michele!

Where is he?

Here, drink this.
- Oh, no. It might be diseased.

Magdalena…

Maddalena with two "ds," no "g!"

OK, OK, OK.

You're one smart lady,

Maddalena without a "g."

Do you know
you remind me of mother?

When she makes up her mind,
that's it.

And Mom's usually right.

What can I tell you,
maybe you are right,

but the Law must be respected.

Why make such a fuss
over salami anyway?

Mortadella.

And I'm not the one
who's making a fuss.

What's the matter?
Is America afraid of mortadella?

Fine.
What's your fiance's name?

Michele Bruni.

OK.

Yes?

Yes.

OK, certainly.

Certainly, OK! Fine.

Your friend, Mr Bruni, will soon be here.
We had him paged.

Mr Bruni is not my friend.
He's my future husband.

As you wish.

Your future husband. Fine.

Do you mind if I smoke?
- I do.

Michele!

Maddalena!

Watch out!

Michele…

Let's put this aside.
- No, please!

If you do, they might burn it.

And the beard, where is it?
- I cut it off.

I could think of nothing
but you all these years.

Do I look a fright?
- No!

Well, the trip and these guys
were getting on my nerves.

But you're finally here.

Maddalena.

We're putting on a show.
Wait here.

Sorry, what is this about?
- Uh, the young lady…

They wouldn't let me in
because of the mortadella.

Have you ever seen
anything so dumb?

Please don't use certain words,
you could get in trouble.

You see there's a law…
- A stupid law!

Because this was made
by Cerri and his team

with top quality material!

I'm so sorry. Miss Ciarrapico
doesn't know what she's saying.

She must be a bit tired.
- I know what I'm saying.

Such a stupid thing was never seen,
not even in Italy,

which is saying much.
- Maddalena, control yourself.

I'm perfectly in control.

Maddalena, the law is the law.

And don't argue.

Michele, what are you saying?

In Italy, you fought always
against unjust laws.

You'd go into
the square to demonstrate.

You weren't afraid then.

I didn't go to the square for
a mortadella, that's for sure.

Stop, you're making us
look ridiculous!

The law's ridiculous!
Ridiculous and stupid!

We're not deaf, Miss!
That's enough!

He's right!

And I'm ashamed of you!

You have no right to say that.

I act this way because
you taught me to.

I fought side by side
with this man.

Up until then, in Italy,
there was no divorce.

Maddalena...
- He was married!

A mistake that could
happen to anybody.

We fell in love.

We went through hell.

The entire world was against us.

Relatives, neighbors, the law,
the church, even our bosses.

"Fight! Fight!", he said,
"Never give into injustice!"

I caught pneumonia during
a demonstration for divorce

He said we must fight to
the death for the proletariat.

What the hell are you saying?

It was me who convinced him
to come to America,

where we could be free.

I waited for him to call me.

Four years!

Four long years
of solitude and humiliation.

Want to dance?
- No, thank you.

But I was ready to wait ten,
even one hundred years.

Because he taught me
never to give up.

Look at him now:
He's become a puppet.

Dressed like a little lord.

But then, Michele was different.

You should've seen him marching
with the red flag before all.

Not true! She's a liar.

Maddalena, please,
stop acting like an idiot.

I pity you.

Stop acting like an idiot!

Stop acting like a fool.

You're embarrassing me.
This isn't Italy.

You should be grateful to be
in the most civilized

country in the world.

See if you can be a bit…
less Italian, OK?

What are you then? Chinese?

I may be Italian
but you're a coward.

A buffoon.

What does that mean?
- Oh, don't you know?

Puppet.

Apologize for what you said.

All this because of
7 kgs of mortadella!

Get your hands off her!

It's not her fault
as you know darn well!

She's a good and
honest mortadella!

And she has no diseases,
even if they don't believe it.

He's the one,
I don't recognize anymore.

He was a serious person,
now you can't trust him.

He turns against his friends:
good and honest people!

Who aren't ashamed
to be what they are.

Well, I won't give up
my mortadella.

Either she comes with me,
or I never enter America!

Because that would mean
this is not a free country!

Magnificent, Miss! Stupendous.

The most beautiful thing
I've heard in years.

Shut up, Fenner,
nobody asked you.

Inspector Nolan,
Minister of Agriculture.

Maddalena Ciarrapico.

Isn't this business getting
a little out of hand

when it's just a lousy sausage?

Wrong, man.

That sausage is a symbol
of all that yesterday,

as everywhere in the world,
represents injustice and repression

and all which our marvelous
ancestors taught us to defend!

I mean fight.
- Shut up, Fenner.

I'm willing to overlook what
you said before, Maddalena.

I think you should apologize
to these people

for wasting their time
and then we can leave.

I said let's go.

That's the way, babe,
don't let them push you around!

You stay out of this.

Maddalena, you know me.

I thought I knew you,

but it's obvious you've changed.

I won't ask you again.

Miss, I've nothing against you,
but my job is to stop the spread

of disease from
your country to mine.

The law is the law.
- Don't listen, Maddalena!

We'll make demonstrations,
strikes,

raising our cry of protest
all the way up!

We'll make it a matter of principle
and change this stupid law.

Hand in hand, we'll march
undauntedly to the Supreme Court.

I can guarantee public opinion
will be on your side.

OK? I'm Jack Fenner.
- Get out of here!

Get him out of here!

Get out! Throw him out!
- …NY Daily News!

Sent by God to help you!

Hey, police brutality!
You're a witness, Maddalena!

They take every opportunity
to stifle the freedom of press!

Now then, let's go.

Maddalena,

I'm not asking again.

You already said that.

I don't want to hear it anymore.

Just go away.
Go away and leave me alone!

You realize what you're saying?
- Yes.

I realize
I don't know you anymore.

I don't ever want to see
you again while I live.

Now… go away.
Get out of here!

Come on, Maddalena, don't.

I'm sorry.

Wait, I'll find him and
bring him back.

No, no, no.

I want to wash my face.

Is that allowed
in this free country?

Sure, come.
- Thank God. My bag.

Where is it?
- That way.

Hey, you!
Where do you think you're going?

If you gotta go, you gotta go!

Sit down!
- Is everybody crazy here?

It's against the law to pee?

Emma! Emma!

Nice move. Thanks.
- You're welcome.

What did they nab you for?
- It's a long story.

For me, it's the second time.

What's that? Oregano?

Why did they nab you?

Well, for the mortadella.

I never tried that.

Do you inject, smoke
or drink it? What is it?

No, it's a kind of… sausage.

Made in my country, Italy.

It couldn't hurt a fly but
they acted like it was a bomb.

I was very happy
to come to America, but now…

Smoking, eh?

So what? Sure, she was.

Outside!

Let's go!

Damn snitch!

Maddalena!
Brace yourself, great news!

I spoke to Martin Siegel
of the Civil Liberties Union.

I explained the whole thing
and he was very interested!

You know what that means for us?
- Young man, get out now!

You've no right to be in here!

Cool it, grandma, we're here
to defend the rights of man!

Man tramples on more important rights
than the exclusivity of the toilet!

So, I ask you to mind your
business and I'll mind mine.

Come on, let's go, Maddalena.

Cia-rr-a-pico.
Ciarrapico.

Place of birth?

Where were you born?
- Trevico, near Naples.

Naples? That's good. Naples…

What's your fiance's name?

You mean "ex-fiancé".

Yeah, that ugly thing.
His name?

His name was Michele Bruni.

Michele…
- Bruni.

Bruni.

Good. Say, Maddalena,
were you shocked over

what happened when
you set foot on American soil?

Yes…

Do you feel the American government
is abusing its power? Yes.

Does this antiquated, absurd,
racist law frighten you?

No.

And why not?
Because it disgusts you, eh?

So, Maddalena, are you ready
to go all the way?

Are you ready to fight
to the death?

To death…

In other words,
can I count on you?

Yeah.
- Great, then consider it done.

Smooth sailing.

Now, I'll go call the paper
to dictate the story to them, OK?

So, don't worry because
I'll be right back, OK?

Stay here and wait for me calmly.

Hey, buy today's Daily News.

In a few years,
it'll be a collector's item.

It'll be worth a fortune,
my man!

Lend me a dime for the phone.

Well, I don't have a dime.

In Milan, they only gave me…

only bills.
- Well, that's alright.

Now, I'll get change.
Don't worry, Maddalena,

I'll be right back with it.
Watch your purse.

Tired?

So many things have happened.

My head is spinning, I feel…

confused.
- Yes, I understand.

Fenner confuses anyone.

No, he was the only one
who stood up for me.

OK, let's go.

My feet…

The whole thing is off.
Don't say another word, it's over!

There's no dinner because
there's no marriage, betrothal.

There's nothing whatsoever!
Got it?

Jesus!
Did something bad happen?

Yes. Maddalena happened.
She wants to ruin me.

She says I'm a communist!

Mamma mia! A communist!

There's an asshole journalist
who's encouraging her…

Yes. An asshole.

I heard you, an asshole.
But what about the guests?

Tell them my plane
was hijacked to Cuba,

anything, but don't make me
look like an idiot please.

Be nice to the judge,
give him all the champagne he wants.

Got it, damn it?

Asshole.

Why does he keep
calling me an "asshole"?

No. There's absolutely
no way to convince her.

We've tried everything.

Yes. He's right here.

OK. He wants to talk to you.

Yeah, this is Nolan.

No, stubborn like a mule.

Yes, alright.

But there's no precedent
as far as I know.

Yes.

Yes, alright.

He says put her on the first
plane to Italy with the salami.

Mortadella.

That's great.
Who has the first flight? Alitalia?

I think so.
- It makes perfect sense.

But who'll pay for her ticket?

We are not.
We wouldn't even dream of it.

So much the better.

He said
call the Italian Consulate.

Too late. It's closed now.

You'll need a vice-consulate,
at minimum, to authorize this.

There's just one thing:
I don't want to return to Italy.

I don't give a damn what you want!
You'll do what we want!

This is our law
and everybody must respect it!

And that goes for you
and your damn salami!

Mortadella.
- Thanks.

Whose side are you on?
- I want a lawyer.

I will go to the Supreme Court.

That will take months.
Out of the question.

Listen, Miss Ciarrapico,

let's take things one at a time:

If you insist on this business,
you'll have to spend the night here.

And not in a comfy bed,
be sure of that.

Don't be swayed by
that clown of a reporter.

He hunts for scandals
and feeds off of them.

Ah, no,
it's you who want to sway her!

That's why I eavesdrop,
it's part of my job!

Don't let them trick you.
They can't lay a glove on you.

Because they know I'd crucify them.
We got the Daily News behind us.

My typewriter's like a machine-gun
and it never misses!

Beat it!

This woman is acting from
the awesome logic of a pure heart.

The law's wrong and she wants
it changed. What's wrong with that?

Why deny entry to a mortadella,

when we admit the human body
full of carcinogenic germs?

This woman isn't only trying
to bring a sausage into the US.

She's aiming much higher!

She is challenging
the giant with feet of clay!

What do we have
that's hot for today?

Two pieces:
a hijacking and a sex maniac.

No, no, this is better.
A bit wordy but it's fresh.

Trash the others. Run this.

Page three, 3 columns,
clearly visible.

THE BANNED MORTADELLA

Fantastic!

A nice headline in bold
italics over 3 columns.

Hey, Stan!

Did you see this? A big hit, eh?
The boss went crazy over it.

I've talked Fred Mancuso into
taking up this girl's cause.

He's coming out to
the airport in the morning.

They'll finally know
Jack Fenner's name!

It's about time, I'll be damned!

You want something to eat?

No.

Is something wrong?

Are you thirsty?
Would you like a Coke?

OK.

A nice tape recorder.

I got one like this too.

Japanese, eh?

Italian songs?

No. I sing something.

Listen, I have a radio
if you want to hear some music.

Or maybe you prefer to sleep.
You're very tired.

You must be tired too.

You must forgive me.
Yes, because…

It must be my fault
if you're not home with your family.

Oh, no, I'm not married.

Anyway, don't worry.
I have night duty this weekend.

I thought everybody
in America married young.

Which means I haven't
found the right girl yet.

Besides,
I must take care of my mother.

She's a great cook, you know?

Her eggplant parmesan is like
nothing else in the world.

It's her own special recipe.

She uses 3 kinds of cheese,

mixes them all together,

and puts it in the oven and
when it gets brown… - A knife?

What?
- Do you have a knife?

Yes, of course.

I'm an old boy scout!

14 blades, it does it all.
- Thanks.

There we go…

Would you like to taste it?

The forbidden fruit.

I'm almost afraid to.

Hey, this is delicious!

Very delicate.
- That's what I've been saying.

You're doing this to teach
your fiancé a lesson, right?

Because he didn't stick up for you?
- That's not why.

When you called Michele,

I was already in
the customs chief's office.

So you used to work in a factory
where they make mortadella?

4 years.

And the day that I left,
all my co-workers…

Oh, right,
that was just yesterday.

Thinking about it
feels like a century ago.

It was just yesterday.

I know what you mean.

I've never been to Europe but…

tons of people say
it has that effect.

It's the time difference.

You lose your sense of time.

Perhaps.

You know, after all the years,

that I was alone,

always thinking about him,

waiting to be able
to come here,

doing nothing but wait,

there's always been
a sense of…

of the momentary. Of…

Of something coming…
- Temporariness.

God, I'm so tired,
I can't even explain…

You explain it very well.
- Thanks.

But how did you learn
our language so well?

Well, I took correspondence
classes and then…

I made do with that
and those records.

I used to have
conversations with a…

a co-worker
who had been in America.

And she always wanted
to record everything.

Because by listening again,
I could… correct myself.

And I sang. I invented songs.

I like to sing.

I kept the recordings
so Michele could listen,

so we could laugh
over them together.

But I've no need
for them anymore.

Can I listen to it?

My name is Maddalena,

Maddalena Ciarrapico.
- Hey, it's a real song!

I work in Zola,

but I'm from Trevico

And I moved north

out of necessity.

I forgot to erase that part.

I moved north,

so many years ago.

Beautiful town of mine,

not far from Naples.

My Trevico, you're still,

you're still my first love.

There the sea was blue,

I will never forget.

'Cause I live in Zola,

where there is smog.

I work in the food sector

where I make
mortadella from pork.

Who would have guessed

that I would find here

my own love, that is,

the man I love.

He was handsome, he was proud,
one who didn't shit himself from fear.

He did not do it on,
or upon or close to himself.

But cruel fate revealed
that he was a married man.

He was a married man.

His demon eyes tempted me
both body and soul.

Body and soul!

The fear of sin redoubled,
redoubled my desire.

Desire.

But wherever I went,

he followed behind me
with his red '500.

Red? More like lobster '500.

He followed me like a shadow,

with those eyes
burning with fever.

What do you want from me?
Why do you bother me?

He let me down. Let me be.
You're not free…

to love.

He looked for me everywhere,
he followed me,

the stubborn fool.

My heart in the long run
began to undertake to waver.

I begin to undertake,
you undertake, he, she undertakes

To waver.

Then one day,
one day I've never

forgotten.

On March 4th of a leap year,

we decided to meet

in a beautiful meadow.

It was there that I listened

to what he had to say.

And never, never, never

would I have abandoned him.

And never, never, never

would I have abandoned him.

He spoke of his torment.

I found out that I loved him…

I smell something.
What is it?

It's a kind of sausage.
It's called mortadella.

It smells good.

Want to try some?
- Why not?

May I?
- OK.

Check this stuff out.

Let's put an end to this.

Hey, ya know it's really good?
Tasty.

Have you read
this morning's paper, O'Henry?

You read about the mortadella?
- Yes, I read it, Sir.

"We don't have the pleasure
to talk about sausages often…"

There's more. "We can only bow
our heads and blush for shame

for not allowing this wonderful
young lady into our country.

And at a time when our relations
with Western European countries

have been at their lowest,
never seen in history.

And above all, for reasons
bureaucratic, petty and hollow,

which our unqualified
customs officials

and the Minister of
Agriculture have imposed."

O'Henry, how could
you let a thing like this happen?

No, we can't find her.

This is the "Everyday"
from Norfolk, Virginia talking.

Whom do we need to ask
to interview Maddalena Ciarrapico?

I'm telling you there's a bomb
in the mortadella. Beware!

I can't find a definition
of mortadella in the dictionary.

Is mortadella on the market?
We could buy some shares.

Find out what they're saying
and get back to me.

Is it true that
it's not pork meat but donkey?

This should be all: press release,
biography on Mancuso,

voting record,
his career in domestic policy…

Press kits? Drinks for the press?
- Check.

Security clearance?
- Yeah, I talked to him.

You copy me?

Perfect, we're ready!

Come on, boys! Here they come.
Ready!

Turn on the lights!

Tell that moron
to get out of the way!

Get out!
We're wasting time!

Are you touching my car?
- Hurry!

All right, I'm going.
Calm down. - Hurry, get out!

Move it!

Good to see you, guys.
Thank you all for coming.

Wait a minute, Mr Mancuso.
- Hey wait, I'm on my way!

Mr Mancuso, look over here!
Please, Mr Mancuso, smile!

This way, thanks!
- Sorry, Martin.

You all know Martin Siegel?
A well-known civil rights' advocate.

I asked him to help with
his legal expertise. - Hi, Fred!

How are you, Councilor?

Remember me? Jack Fenner.

A pleasure.

Hey, Jack, come here.
We can take it from here.

Mr Mancuso,
the fact that your electorate

is made up of 50%
of Italian-Americans

wouldn't have anything to do
with your interest in this case?

It's time to leave behind
these racist anachronisms.

It's real progress we want.
We must abolish the old laws.

To fight for freedom.

It's time to open the windows wide
and let in new ideas.

Isn't this about salami?

Get his name.

Hey, move that car from here.
Why do we have parking places?

Cool it, man,
I'm with the congressman.

Don't give me any lip.
Move that car.

Well, where's the girl?
- In the toilet.

Follow me.

From the top!
- Don't get in the way!

Move away from the door!

Damn, what a hottie!

That's off the record.

Fred, this is Maddalena Ciarrapico.

Maddalena, this is Fred Mancuso.
- Hello.

And Martin Siegel of the ACLU.
- Hello.

Years ago, Fred singlehandedly
led the fight to lift the ban

on imported cheeses.

Now we can import
any type of cheese:

parmesan, mozzarella,
gorgonzola…

You can open a deli.
- Wait, I'm not finished.

OK?

Are you ready?
- Lights!

How do I look?

You look fine, Mr Mancuso,

but the background isn't
very becoming.

He's right! Absolutely!

We'll move it all down
by the windows here. C'mon!

Over here, boys!

Please, folks, clear this area!
Hurry!

Thank you, thank you.
Up here.

Fred, get up.
Martin! You too. There we go.

Lights.

Roll 'em!

Miss Ciarrapico,

as an American
of Italian descent,

it is a duty…
- I'm Mike Gallagher of M.F. Gallagher!

Beef and pork sausages!

We make the best
salami in America!

And with you on our team,
we'll make the best mortadella!

Come work with us!

What did I tell you?
America's at your feet!

First the press, then
government and now industry!

Public opinion is
starting to move!

They're taking it to the streets!

Will you clear off?

Lights! Roll 'em!

Miss Ciarrapico,

as an American
of Italian descent,

it is a duty
as well as a pleasure

to welcome you
to the United States of America…

No worries, it got unplugged.
Keep going. - Lights!

Roll 'em!

Miss Ciarrapico,
- Stop!

What?
- One moment.

Where's the sausage?
- What?

That's right! Maddalena,
where's the mortadella?

Right! I forgot.
- We can't shoot without the mortadella!

Where did I put the mortadella?

Here it is.

What's that?
- The mortadella.

Can't you see the mortadella?

Want to try some?

Excuse me, where's the rest?
- What do you mean?

Hey, what did you do
with the mortadella?

Are you trying to be a wiseguy?

Hey!

Hey, I… I ate it.

You ate it?
- Yes, I was hungry.

Besides, I didn't eat it all by myself.
The others had some too.

What are you trying to do?
Ruin me?

But what difference does
a few kilos or a few grams?

It's the principle that counts.

Here.

Ah, right…

It's the principle that counts.

I think we need legal opinion.

Councilor, what do you advise?

Put it on a piece of bread
with some mustard and pickles.

Sorry, guys,
better luck next time.

Hey, no! Fred, wait a moment!

Put him back on the shit list.

Why is everybody leaving?
What happened?

What happened?
Oh, nothing happened!

What happened is that you're free
to enter the USA, that's all.

Now you can go through customs.
You should be happy, right?

What happened is that your fight,
your story, my articles are over!

And I'm finished together
with your damn sausage!

Where are you going!
- Hey, Fred!

Fred! Fred! Listen!
Wait a moment!

Who is this jerk?
Let go, asshole!

Somebody get this pain in the ass
away from me immediately!

Wait, Fred! It was a plot got up
by the police to ruin me!

I'll ruin you, you son of a bitch!
Get away from me!

Get away from the door!
- Get moving!

Move on.

What manners!
"Maddalena here, Maddalena there!

My typewriter's a machine-gun!

America's at your feet!"
And you left me alone like an idiot!

Is the end of the mortadella
the end of the world?

No, Mr "Jock", that's too easy!

And I'm not some old shoe,
you can get rid of, got it?

Because of you,
I blew my life away!

And you leave me alone?

Well, you won't treat me that way!
You're taking me with you!

Maddalena!

But I'm here!

I'm not abandoning you,
my car is parked there!

Come with me!

You got any change?
- Change?

Change. I only have…
- You know I don't have it.

OK, take this.
- That'll do.

I'll give you the change later.
C'mon.

Hey! Wait, don't run!
- Come on!

Hi.

How are you, Jack?
- Great. It's all over.

What do you mean?

She's gone. They let her go.

And the mortadella?

Don't give me any
of that crap, Perlino.

You know damn well
you'll get a nice promotion

because of that midnight snack of yours!

But where did she go?

How the hell should I know?

That reporter clown took her away.

A fine job, Dominic.

Brilliant!
- Thank you, Sir.

Where does your fiancé live?
I'll take you there. - No.

What will you do?
Return to Italy? - No.

Then, lady, suppose you tell me
where you want me to take you.

No!

Want to come to my place? No!
- No!

Right. I don't know why
I'm being so nice.

I should hit you on the head,

set you on fire, throw you out.
- Let me out!

Love to,
but I can't stop on a bridge.

I want to get out!

Are you crazy?
- I want to get out!

Calm down!
- I said stop!

Why? Want to jump off the bridge?

I'm sure you like that.

This way, you can write
a nice article for the papers.

That kind of thing isn't
news in NY.

Let me out.
I'll find a place to go.

Where could you go?

Tonight, you're staying
with me at my place.

Maybe, I can make amends.
- A few hard slaps for starters.

Never mind that.

Can you tell me how you let
that nasty customs inspector con you?

A customs inspector!
I don't get it.

How was it possible?

Come, tell me, what did he do?
Drug you?

Did he manage to seduce you?
Were you drunk?

What did he do?

He didn't do anything.

Come, tell the truth,
what are you afraid of?

It was all my fault.

Mr Dominic was very kind to me.

I was so down that I began
to tell him my life's story.

All the years I've waited.

Loving a man who…

who…

Are you crying?

Over such nonsense?

Hey!

You think only you have troubles?

I'm a born loser.

Everytime things are
going well for me - BOOM -

the axe falls!

Things are good just enough
to let me see that they are bad.

Give me some change, OK?
- Uh, huh.

Didn't you see that lady
wanted to park here?

Sure, of course I did.
I beat her to it by sprinting.

But she was old.

I bet you she's a drug dealer.
Let's go.

SHIT!

Congratulations!

Now you'll be lucky.

And how is that?

This brings luck.
In Italy, it's always a good sign.

Really? - Yes, from now on,
things will go great for you.

It's about time I had some luck.
Thanks!

Don't thank me, thank the dog.

Third notice…

Second notice…

Last notice?
I get nothing but notices.

Nobody ever writes me a letter.

Hey! This time,
they stole my tape recorder!

I don't know how they do it.

It boggles my mind.

You can't just take a door off
its hinges without opening it first.

It's impossible!

I'd really like to know
the one who did it!

He's a genius!

One…

Let's go. You see?

Let's open this other one…

Christ, I forgot all about it.

Where can we go now?

I don't know but
I'll stay where I am.

Hey, Al, one moment,
this is something special.

Hey, hi "Something Special."
- Hi.

Too bad, Jack,
my girl doesn't do "mixed doubles."

Who the hell asked her anyway?

Well, at least take this, OK?

It's my home.
And try to hurry up, OK?

How long are you going to be?
- I don't know. It depends.

You got 1 hour, not 1 second more, OK?
- You better call first.

By the way, your old lady came by
and she was bugging.

She said it's your day
to watch the kids.

Since I owe him money,
I can't say no

when he asks to use my place
to bring women. Shit!

Speaking of that, didn't you say
it would bring me luck?

Be patient,
it takes time for it to work, eh?

"She is challenging the giant
with the feet of clay."

We need to teach him a lesson.

That he won't forget too soon.

He just didn't offend you,
Michele,

he offended all the Italians
living in America:

Lo Manzo, Procaccino,
Frank Sinatra,

Perry Como, Connie Francis…

Knock it off!

Stop talking shit.

That man must know
who Michele Bruni is.

First and foremost.

Call Frankie Panato.

What do you mean
Mr Cogan is not in?

But I recognize your voice,
you big fairy!

Wait a…

Guy owes me 7 bucks and changes
his voice to tell me he's not in!

Two coffees, please.

Do you know what they paid me
for covering the airport?

Nothing at all!

Want an espresso?
- Yes, thanks.

One regular and one espresso.

And you know the taxes
I pay for this nothing? Housing tax,

NY State tax,

Social security tax,
pension tax,

health care tax!

This espresso makes you
feel homesick, eh?

The loan sharks are
the worst of all.

They'd walk over their mothers
for a few bucks. Yeah.

This is good.

Really?
Of course, it's sausage.

So I've delegated a loan shark
to manage my wages.

The only way I can survive is
to pit them against each other.

This way they waste their energy
fighting over the first bite.

Hey, there's Wildflower.

Here's somebody you should meet.

Hey, there, you old goat!
- Hey!

Hey!
- Hi, loser!

I see finally you managed to
get a few lines in the papers.

Ah, you're the stubborn
and fighting Italian girl.

You came gliding down
the blue American sky

with that super sausage
held tightly to your chest,

given to you by Mother Nature.

You're even better in person.

But I can even make you
better than Nature.

A great body, Jack.
My compliments.

All curves from head to toe.
Oh, yes, sister…

When can she stop by
to work, Jack?

Wildflower is famous
for his unusual pictures.

And for churches.

I've been staked out here
for 10 days to shoot this.

10 days to take a photo?
- Of course.

If it's necessary.

Because, you see, one must
wait for the right time,

the ideal instant,
in which the subject is…

as if it were suspended in time.

I'd love to do your picture.

There:
this is one of my favorites.

Both the portrait and
the young lady.

Who's this? Somebody new?

That's… that's Dorothy O'Kelly.

The senator's daughter.
- Ah, right.

For me, everything is here.

Religion and sex!

The two poles of
the terrestrial axis.

Great intuition, don't you think?

He succeeds in showing
a person's real essence, soul.

Just by photographing one's ass.

He's one of the most
original American artists!

A self portrait.

Why am I so hung up for cash

in what's supposed
to be a credit economy?

That's what you're asking yourself.
And you're right.

1000s of people every day
spend only a few bucks on a cab

and get by
on a bunch of credit cards.

But if I apply for one,
I get refused right away.

Do you know what the rule is?
The basic irony of the whole system?

You can only get credit,

if you prove you don't need it.

Oh, good God.

It's the loan sharks.

Are you Jack Fenner
from the Daily News?

Yes, I was just coming
to your office. Indeed…

Mamma mia!
- Wait! How much do I owe?

Lowlifes!

What are you doing?

Hey, Frank, this way!

Hey!

Another one?

That's good enough! Let's go!

Mr "Jock"?

Shit's luck!

A cracked rib. Nothing serious.
- It was that kick.

It hurts to breathe.
- Then don't breathe.

Give him a sedative.
We'll hold him here. - Hey!

You just want to keep me here overnight
so you can send me a bill.

I didn't ask for anything!

What an honor.
- The honor is mine.

I've been expecting you.
- Really?

Then you were sure I would come?

Of course I was sure.
Would you like something to eat?

We can sit at a table or,
if you prefer, we can go to my home.

No, let's stay here. It's best.

I'd prefer everybody to see
and hear us.

Can I have that spaghetti, please?
- It's for another table.

They can wait.
- Alright.

A lady's wish comes
before everything else.

This wave of nostalgia
just came over you, I see.

Right. I don't know why but
I felt an urge for spaghetti.

Have a seat.

Thank you
but I prefer to stand up!

I do things with my own hands,
as you can see! And not send others!

Maddalena!

Shitface!
- Are you insane? No!

Son of a bitch!

I don't need anyone
to teach you a lesson!

I'll destroy the place!

Leave her to me!

You jerk!

Scumbag!

Coward!

The one who can frighten me
hasn't been born yet!

Look, look at him!

He's running away! What a shame!
- Listen to me!

Worm!
- Maddalena!

Come here, worm!

You'll pay for this!
- I said you don't scare me!

No, the Tower of Pisa! No!

Listen here, you'll pay for this!
You'll pay!

Meantime,
you'll start paying jerk!

You dirty snake!

Ladies and gentlemen, don't worry,
she's just crazy!

I hope that was expensive!

Call the police!

Call them!

Call the police!
- Take this so you'll rest tomorrow!

Your weekly rest!

Stop her!

The Duomo!

Here you go!

Stay down!

Or I'll hit you all!

Everybody, be calm!
Don't move, everybody!

Oh, yes, call the police!

There she is. She's jealous.

Insanely jealous.
She's Italian, you see.

She was my fiancée,
but I don't want anything to do with her!

Miss, what's your version
of the facts?

You don't have to respond.

Thanks. Sometimes,
I speak better without words.

I understand. Hey, Roy!

O'Connor's on the phone,
calling from the Center Street Station.

They say they got the mortadella girl.
- What happened?

She smashed up a restaurant and
sent her ex-fiancé to the hospital.

Tell him to keep her there
until Fenner arrives. Fenner!

Where's Fenner?
You can never find that idiot

when you need him! Fenner!

Asshole!

Goddamn pig! Son of a bitch!

They want to arrest me just for
breaking my damn husband's ribs!

And I wanted to shoot him.
You know why?

Because tonight I returned
to the house earlier than usual.

And guess how I found him?

In bed with another woman!
- Hey, you.

Disgusting pigs! Damn sneaks!

What? I walk the streets
just to support you

and I find you in bed with
another woman when I get home!

The least I could do
was kill him!

Am I right or no? Worm!

And these bought off pimps instead
of arresting him, they arrest me!

Go kill yourselves!

Pipe down, Dora.

Damn!

You got a pair of tits
that are out of this world!

Who are you?

I love tits the best.

They're my favorite parts.
In fact, I don't like anything else!

Hey, boys! Hey, boys!
When can I get these cuffs off?

I'll tell you when it's time
to take them off. Sit down!

Are you incapable of
answering politely?

Pipe down, Dora.

This place stinks!

My wife has very small breasts,
practically nothing.

I… I didn't notice…

before… before I married her.

The other day,
we had a babysitter.

You should've seen
what a pair she had.

I couldn't control myself!

How was I supposed to know
she was only thirteen?

I looked into her eyes and said,
"Don't walk around like that

with those two
beautiful and huge tits!"

And I jumped right on her!

Hey,

tell me,

why are you here?

I stabbed a man
who touched my breasts.

Well done!

All of them should be taken out!

They're all pigs! Disgusting!
They only think of one thing!

And even you ugly cuckolds
think of nothing else!

All of them are damn swines!

Pigs! Pigs and nothing else!

Impotent too!

Pipe down, Dora.

Come on, get your things.

Where is the bathroom?

Thanks.

Hey…

I don't get it, am I free
or are you taking me to jail?

I'm taking you to lunch.
I paid your bail.

You did?
You did wrong.

I mean thanks

but I hate the idea of you wasting
your money on that worm.

Hi, Dominic.
- Hi.

If he sues for damages,
he'll can get so much

you'll be paying your whole life.

I'm not even worried about it.
I'd rather stay in jail.

Anyway, I have no plans for now.

Maybe, being in a quiet cell
will do me good.

To decide what I'm going to do.
- Jail?

Don't worry about it.
I'll convince your fiance not to sue.

I'll make him see it's not in his
best interests. Scare him a little…

he'll behave himself. You'll see.

Any news about Mr "Jock"?
Poor guy was in bad shape yesterday.

A nice lesson every now and then
can only do guys like him good.

Why do you say that?

He's a good person, kind,
he tries really hard.

Sure, he's a little incoherent.

Maybe, a little nuts,
if you like.

You're not in love with him?

No.

I feel sorry for him.

Where are we?
- Times Square.

The center of New York.

The exhaust pipe of the universe.

A city full of alcoholics,
perverts,

tramps, pimps, parasites, thugs.

This scum is polluting America.

But there are
good people here too, right?

Certainly, the majority of Americans.
They don't make any noise.

It's only the riffraff
who like to make a stink.

Where are you taking me?
- To have a good American meal.

As you see, Maddalena,

there are still places in NY
frequented by decent people.

Places your reporter friend and
that Mancuso wouldn't know.

Because they're not gentlemen.

You know, Madison once said…
he's…

that president down there,
on the left, with the friendly face.

He said that

the American political system is based
on people's natural inequality.

Natural inequality.

You said you wanted
to stay in America, right?

Yes, I don't want
to go back to Italy.

Especially after what happened.

At least I want to try it,
you see.

In Italy, I'd still be alone,
so as might as well.

Naturally, I'll have to find a job.
To be honest,

a gentleman offered me a job.

I think it's a salami factory

or something like that.
The kind of work I know.

I only need to get a work permit.

That done, I'll have no worries.

I think I can help you.
- Thank you.

I'll find out all
about this gentleman.

Time to call mama

and see if arrangements can be made
to have you stay a night or two.

It's logical that I help you
as much as possible, I…

I feel responsible.

Responsible?

Why should you feel responsible?

You should've heard my boss.

I was almost promoted on the spot when
I told him your mortadella was gone.

"At least, gimme
some Alka Seltzer," I said.

Hey, one moment.
Wait right there.

I don't understand.

Why are they congratulating you?
What did you do that was so special?

Thanks to my iron stomach
and my iron will,

I figured out how to solve
that mortadella business.

Oh, really?

I believed you were interested
in my problems.

Maddalena, listen to me well.

The situation is difficult in America.
Maybe, you're not aware of it.

We must defend its institutions.

I'm the first to admit that some laws
are old and need to be reformed.

But in times like these,
we need to protect them.

Good. Thank you.

Why would a man like Mancuso go to
any trouble for something so dumb

as a mortadella held in customs?

Because it's an opportunity
to make a stink.

The mortadella is a pretext.

Starting from there,
they attack the laws, the institutions,

and the system, as they call it.

Just think that poor reporter

wanted to put in his article that
you were a dishonest son of a bitch.

Sorry, I think that's the word
and I stopped him.

I even fought him over it.
- You did well.

I thank you.

You had the right idea
of what needed to be done.

Because you're
a good egg, Maddalena.

Exactly just like…
- Mama?

Yes.

Speaking of her,

I'd better telephone.

You'll see that
you'll get a nice dinner.

I'm thinking…

I bet she'll make
a nice plate of lasagna.

No!

Better make Eggplant Parmesan.

You said she makes it so well.

OK, I'll tell her
you requested it.

Excuse me.

"Give my regards to mama."

Well? Have you found her yet?
- Not yet.

She was set free on bail
by a certain Perlino.

Dominic Perlino?

Jesus Christ!

Call the airport please.
Customs. See if he's there.

And if not, get the phone number
and address. Hurry!

Hey, Jack, gimme the 5 bucks
you owe and I'll tell you something.

Don't tell me.
- You'll be sorry.

You're wasting your time.
The girl's not at the airport.

Hey, one moment.
What do you know?

This is blackmail.
Spit it out.

Hey, Mr Fenner, a lady's downstairs,
who says you stole her luggage.

She wants your address,
should we give it?

Stop the presses!
Get me a photographer, a stenographer,

and send them to the lobby.
Gimme a hand!

Maddalena!

My beautiful Maddalena!

I knew you wouldn't let me down.

You did it for me, right?
My avenger!

Not a bad title for tomorrow's article,
don't you think?

Two million readers at your feet!

But first tell me everything
you've done…

No, stop right there, OK?

I only want my things.

I want to get undressed
and go to bed

between two clean sheets,
even in the worst hotel in NY.

I want to think about what
I'm going to do with my life, OK?

Silence! Enough!

The lady is right! Damn right!

The NY Daily News must
wait until tomorrow!

But there's no need to go
to any cheap hotel.

My place is at your disposal,
you know.

It awaits you with a warm
and comfortable welcome.

It's heaven, it has it all.
Just you see!

Alright.
- Perfect. Let's go.

Let's go.

Here we are.

Shit!

God, what's on the ground?

Ah, it's back!
- But not for long.

It's gone.
- I said so.

Get the candle from the pantry.

Where is the pantry?
- Straight ahead. Keeping walk forward.

Yeah, straight ahead.
I can't see a thing.

Here's the pantry, I found it.
- I told you.

Now for today…

The matches?
- They must be on top of the fridge.

Oh, the fridge…

This always happens at the worst time.
They do it on purpose!

I'm playing blindman's bluff.
Where are they?

I spend so much time in the dark,
I ought to learn braille!

I found them! I found them, eh?

Then light it.
What are you waiting for?

Have you not paid for months?

No! Because it's a conspiracy.
Holy cow!

What does $35 matter anyway
to a company like Edison?

They got 14,000 employees.

Half of them spend their time
blowing up the streets

while the other 7000 turn off
poor people's lights.

And meanwhile, the board is

permanently behind a big table
studying how to rip you off.

I don't get what's so funny.

Sorry, but I always thought
that in America

these everyday problems
didn't exist.

It's only just me.

I bet everybody else gets by.

But not me.

What matters is not giving
those sons of bitches any satisfaction!

Even with my ass to the wall
and surrounded, I have a nice drink,

stuff myself with my nice pills
and throw myself headlong into the fray.

Blast it!
- Goodness gracious.

You keep using words that
I've never studied in any book.

Well, that means
you chose the wrong books,

like your loves up 'til now

Here we go.

Here you go.

What's that?

It's bourbon.
- Bourbon?

Yes. Jack Daniels,
American whiskey.

Warm, smooth, and high class.

And you'll feel
exactly like that.

Well? What do you think?

Just like you said.

The only thing is that
it'll let you down

unless you take
something with it.

Pills!

Energy pills! No, wrong ones…

I gotta keep my wits about me.
I got a ton of work to straighten out.

Here they are.

Want one?

They keep you awake.

Please, I just want to sleep.

And I still don't know
where I will sleep.

What do you mean?
- Sure.

All this is at your disposal.
My home is your home.

Didn't… didn't we agree on it?

Come, make yourself at home.

Everything you need is here:
a bathroom…

Be careful with the water,
the hot is cold and the cold is hot.

Before opening the shower,
light a candle for a few minutes.

If the roaches don't have time
to skedaddle, they'll clog the drain.

If you wanna eat,
the fridge is yours.

Have another bourbon.

Anything else? Oh, the bed!
Sorry, I wasn't thinking.

Here we go, take away this jacket.
Get off!

Here we… oops, my socks.

Hey. Hey!
- Eh?

Eh, where are you sleeping?
- I'm not sleeping, I'm working.

You know how papers are.
They want a blow-by-blow account

on your first day in America.

I'll dictate it on the phone
and after that take a nap…

Unless you want company.
Alright, forget I ever said it.

What you say is law.

Even if you reconsider.

Murderers!

They stabbed me in the back!

They even cut off my phone!

Cut off my arm, my leg,
anything but not my phone!

Not my phone!

It's a conspiracy!

They're all in cahoots:

Edison, the tax office,
all of that fucking superstructure!

They chose me to torture!

Why me? Eh?

What did I ever do to you?

I'm only asking for a grain of humanity.
Will you give it or not?

Just a grain!

Blast it!

I'll screw them just the same
by the calling from next door.

Please, don't let anybody in.

What are you taking?
- Want one?

But what is it?

A downer. I'm too hyper!

Poor Mr "Jock".

Who is it?

What happened?

Did you mistake the faucet?
- Yeah.

Oh, poor "Jock".

Everything happens to Mr "Jock".

Indeed.

Did you drink all of this?
- Of course.

How do you feel?
- Very good.

I've never met anyone before

who could drink so much
and not feel ill.

You must be
in really great shape.

It's the only explanation.

Ah, yes.

A good heart,

good bowels, good liver,

good lungs.

You're really a phenomenon.

You're so in shape that every time
I look you, I get a high.

Here we go.

Does it hurt.
- Yeah… no, I don't know.

I don't care and don't wanna know.
I need a good sleep.

That's what I need.

Why don't you sing me
a dirty song?

That's all I need.

Maybe a bit dirty lullaby?

What's that?

A lullaby. Hush.

A lullaby?

So much happiness,

so much fear.

I love you more than yesterday,
less than tomorrow.

Wonderful.

Amazing.

Then one day he said to me,
"Maddalena,

My love for you is too much,
as is your pain.

Tonight, we'll show up

and walk through the town
together like husband and wife."

He was handsome, he was proud,
one who didn't shit himself from fear.

In politics and love,
he went all the way, refusing,

refusing to compromise.

Wicked! I've pressed charges
against you both!

Adulterer! Scoundrel!

There came desperation,
caused by our fornication.

The town was against it,
against us,

the public indignation.

So, one blessed autumn day,

there was a decision.

To leave from here
because there was no way out.

His manly voice trembled…

with emotion…

when he said that over there…

will give you a new life.

I got my passport for America.

Where the people
are free to love.

Where everyone does
what he pleases

underneath the Statue of Liberty.

No, hold on. Why stop it?

That's enough.
It's over for good.

Can't you restart it
from the beginning?

No, it's over and done with.
The end.

Alright.

Listen, you want me
to make some room for you?

Daddy! Daddy!

Daddy! Daddy!
- What is it?

Daddy, get up!
What are you doing?

Who are they?
- Come on, get up!

Children!
Don't break your father's balls!

Out, out, out, out, out, out!

Today is Saturday, darling!
- Really?

Then, let's pretend it's Thursday,

seeing as you could
never remember your duty.

What? You think I got nothing to do
but babysit these two bastards?

I am a writer, by God!

Sally, this is Maddalena.

Hello.
- Hello.

Wow, that's some steak!
- Mortadella.

Hey, you read my yesterday's article?
Awesome, eh?

I've read better.

I knew it: the fridge is empty
and the light is off.

Nothing has changed, eh, Jack?

Hey, you two!

What are you doing?
Don't touch those blades! Out!

Keep away
or I'll slash my wrists!

Me too!
- You promise?

Jack, the kids haven't had breakfast
and I've a meeting at 10.

Listen, you're right
and I'm wrong, OK?

Understand?
You're right and I'm wrong.

I should've remembered that
the other day was my turn, OK?

Let's skip it just this once.

Impossible, I have an an ecology
group meeting, it's not for kids.

Jack, what can I do to make
you remember Thursday is your day?

Stamp it on his ass!

That's not a bad idea.
You can do that.

If we keep on like this,
I'll have to send them to school.

You see, given the state
of today's schools…

Maddalena's not interested
in our school problems!

I gotta work today. I really can't!
They didn't publish my piece last night…

Because they hated it.

Because they want me to flesh it
out for the Sunday edition.

And I got a million
other things to do, I swear!

Listen, I'm asking you as a favor,
take them with you this time. Please!

So sorry, I'm busy.

Sally!

If you become desperate,
leave them with Wildflower.

I'm already desperate!

Maddalena, what's the matter now?

In front of the kids.
How shameful.

Why? They don't give a shit
you're here, neither does Sally.

We didn't even bother
to get a divorce

because it wouldn't
change a thing.

It's just a big bother
and expenses.

I was sure you were happy
as I was.

It was a beautiful night, no?
Especially when… remember?

I messed up again.
I can never do anything right.

No, please, don't say that.
It brings you bad luck.

Besides, it's not true.
- It is.

It's true, Maddalena.
You're kind.

Very kind to me.

Everyone is kind to me.

Everyone allows themselves the luxury
to be kind to this poor jerk.

Bullshit!
- I'm gonna cry! Boo-hoo!

Why don't you two
mind your own beeswax?

It is our beeswax!
Are you our father or not?

Or is it not true?
- Enough of this annoyance!

Maddalena, I can't move from here.
I'm waiting for my article's drafts.

You mind bringing them to Wildflower?
They know the way.

OK, I can look for a room too.

You already have a room!
- No, I don't.

Sure you do. You can't leave me
after what happened last night…

OK, we'll talk about it later.

Let's go, kids.
- Come back soon.

I'll take some pills and
I swear it'll change everything.

But first I gotta sleep for 15 minutes.
I didn't get any last night.

And whose fault is that?

Watch out!

What are you doing, you idiot?

That's mom.

Hi, Lenny!

Hi, kids.
- Hi, Lenny!

See who daddy slept
with last night!

Emily!

I'm happy for Jack.

It is a godsend
which raises one's spirits

to hit the jackpot
every now and then.

Nice to see you again, Maddalena.

You know, I have in my head,
the portrait I want to do of you.

Lightly blurred with
only two intersecting lights.

I came to bring the children.
Can they stay with you?

Oh, of course.
They're my best helpers.

Come on, my brats.

Lock yourselves in the dark room
and develop this film.

It's unexposed.

This way, they'll be busy
for a good while.

I've no intention of posing for you,
Mr Wildflower.

I don't want you to pose.
Not yet.

Anyway not today.

Because first you and I,

the subject and artist,
must come to a mutual understanding.

An intimacy which should
reflect our collaboration.

Because that's
the only way a picture…

can become a lasting work of art.

Art is born that way. Like life.

Two human beings
who enjoy their bodies.

A man and a woman,
positive and negative.

It's very simple
and very beautiful.

If you don't understand this,

you don't know what it is
to make love and to be an artist.

You're right, Mr Wildflower.

I'm not an artist
and never will be.

Even with your collaboration.

Please, look after the kids.
Bye.

Then we want to end it?
- It is ended.

Come, don't make me beg.
You know it makes no sense.

It can't be. We've been waiting
for years. We love each other.

If you think it over,
what really happened? Nothing.

Something very important
did happen.

Something I never would've done
if I still loved you.

But what nonsense!

Come on…

Smile, OK?

Hey, Mr Fenner!

I'd like a quick word with you.
- Leave him be. C'mon.

The fault was mine.
I was the one who wanted it.

Who among us is without fault?
It's over.

Put it here.

You know what we say
in my country?

You win some, you lose some.

But only I won.

What's going on?
- He wants to make up.

Of course.

That's how we Italian are:
they fight, insult each other,

great tragedies, broken hearts,
jealousy,

but in the end,
there's still love.

And nothing was broken after all.

Isn't that so?

There was a lot broken.

Yes, certainly you broke lots of
plates and glasses. Utter chaos.

It made me open my eyes.

I understood it was a gesture
of love. Love's fury.

How lovely you were, Maddalena!
You excited me… so much!

And you don't hold a grudge?
- No,

Mr Fenner.
You know what I told myself?

My lovely lady
throwing her tantrum

has opened wide
the doors to my fortune.

And your article, "The Avenging
Mortadella" played its part.

Last night, with all
the restaurant a mess,

I'm not kidding,
people were lining up.

Probably due to your article.

They all wanted to see
Maddalena and her mortadella.

I say we leave the restaurant
artistically smashed up,

and change the name
to "Mortadella",

And you, Maddalena, Mrs Bruni,

will see to the cash register
and will make a lot of money.

Can you imagine the business?
- I sure can.

My eyes have opened too.

What if I don't marry you?

I don't believe it.
Nothing's changed.

I made the first move and
that's enough. Let's get married.

A splendid future awaits us.

We love each other and we'll be rich.
Love reignites with money.

You once married without love.

Other times, other countries.
We're in America.

We're Americans!

A minute ago,
you said we were Italians.

Do you think
love is the only thing?

No.

But I do, Maddalena.

But we must keep an eye
on business too.

Love comes with time.

I speak for you because
I love you.

"Less than… tomorrow…"

"More than yesterday."
- And we'll be rich and happy.

Just like in fairy tales,

our friend Fenner will write
a little about us in his paper.

A little publicity never hurts.

Of course, you'll be our guest
for lunch and dinner.

By the way, Mr Fenner,
why not get up our marriage a bit?

He could write a nice article,
right, Maddalena?

A great idea.

It's just that before I become your wife,
I must tell you something.

Seeing that
we're all Americans now.

Last night I slept with him.

With…

Mr "Jock".

What do you…what do you mean?

I don't think
it'll hurt our business,

but maybe our marriage a bit.

I don't believe you.

You're just trying to test me.

There's no need to test you.

Is it true?

I never contradict ladies
as a matter of principle.

Whore!

I get it.
You want to blackmail me?

How much do you both want
to get into the business?

But no marriage.

I don't marry whores.

I don't know if you're
American or Italian,

but one thing is for sure:
you're a real asshole.

Jerk! What are you doing?

Coward! Stinker!
Can't you see he's hurt?

Coward!

Come on, get off him!

He can't defend himself!
Get off him!

Give me a pill.

Any one that you can find.

Wonderful, Maddalena,
don't ever leave me, eh?

But first,
give me a couple of pills.

They're in the blue box on top.

OK, Jack, but don't tire
yourself with talking.

Call me "Mr Jock."

Please, Maddalena,

I like it when
you call me Mr "Jock".

All right, Mr "Jock", now sleep.

Music and sleep,
sleep and music.

I need music to sleep.

But there's no electricity,
thanks to the electric company pigs.

Don't talk.

How I hate them.
Jesus, how I hate them.

We'll manage all the same.

I'll put on some music for you.

Yes, that, the lullaby.

Beautiful. Thank you, Maddalena.
Marvelous.

I was glad when you told that
son of a bitch you slept with me.

You were marvelous.

Marvelous, Maddalena.

That's what a free woman does.
Well done.

You were great.

Everybody, I mean everybody can see
that soon as they see you.

I bet Wildflower got lucky too,
right?

Besides, you know,

there's nothing wrong with that.

No, because in a way,
he's a friend.

Friends are part of your family.

You know what I think.

Everything stays in the family.

Everything: you, me,
Sally, Andrew,

Emily, Wildflower.

All one big family, Maddalena.
All together.

And loving each other,

one big family.

You and I will always be
the most important thing.

You're wonderful, Maddalena,
you're…

the most important thing…

You and me forever,
forever you and me.

I got my passport for America.

Where the people
are free to love.

Where everyone does
what he pleases

underneath the Statue of Liberty.

English subs by remorques
and sineintegral@KG