La véritable histoire du Chat Botté (2009) - full transcript
An adaptation of Charles Perrault's famous Puss'n Boots, "The True Story of Puss'n Boots" is a story for young and old for the first time on cinema screens.
(Frogs croaking)
(Birds fluttering)
(Birds calling)
(Haunting harmonica music)
♪
♪
MAN:
My name is Charles Perrault.
And I witnessed
an incredible story,
one I have decided to tell
to children, young and old.
It's the story of a young
miller, a princess,
and a cat.
I'm worried
about the Princess!
I'm concerned, I'm overwrought,
I don't know what to do!
I'm very worried
about the Princess!
(Stammering drunkenly)
What's he telling me?
It's all right, My Queen,
there's nothing
to worry about.
Our Princess is just fine.
It's the Chamberlain
who has the problem!
Huh? Your Magnificent Majesty!
We have to find a husband
for the Princess!
A husband?
What on earth for?
To marry!
(Snivelling)
The Princess will only marry
an excellent dancer.
This husband
should be a Royal.
Or maybe she could possibly
marry a--
A chamberlain?
Oh, no.
A chamberlain?
A chamberlain!
Oh no, I don't think
I like that.
Majesty!
He's right, a chamberlain!
And why not a chamberlain?
This is a handsome chamberlain!
He's a grand chamberlain!
He's gentle!
He can dance very, very, very,
very, well, this chamberlain!
Hey, Honey?
(Snoring)
Oh, look who's having a dodo!
Oh... He's a cutie, huh,
my little sweetie pie.
Hey!
Li'l boy?
(Groaning)
(Yawning)
♪
(Singing wordlessly)
♪
(Whistling)
(Singing audible)
♪
♪ Tra la la la la la la la la ♪
♪
(Humming along)
♪ Ta ta ta ♪
One, two,
three, four!
♪
(Humming along)
♪
(Groaning)
♪
One, two, three, four!
♪
ATTENDANT:
Well done, princess!
You're amazing!
(Windmill creaking)
Come in, Mr. Perrault.
My children, come close.
The time for me
to say goodbye,
my dear sons,
is close at hand.
Listen well.
I have divided all my goods
into two parts.
The mill
I am leaving
to my two eldest sons,
Gaston and Momo.
And you, dear Peter,
my youngest,
I bequeath to you...
The cat.
(Snickering)
Our wonderful Puss!
Oh, I know
what I'm doing.
You'll find your destiny
with the cat.
Good luck.
That's all?
Yes, that's all.
(Door closing)
Your cat:
Make him some boots.
The red leather
you will use
is in my old trunk
in the attic.
Your special red leather.
Very important,
those boots.
You'll see.
You'll see.
You must never be afraid
to live your life.
I won't, Father.
Don't forget:
Always have trust
in your cat.
In the cat.
♪
Uh, listen. I got a little
problem with these boots!
What's the problem?
Well, look:
the heels are a bit low.
I don't want to appear
to be too short.
Can you do something, maybe
build them up just a little bit?
No?
This is my last night at home
and I'm spending it
working my fingers
to the bone making boots!
So that's enough
out of you!
Okay!
Okay, okay, okay.
Let's be calm.
I just meant:
with higher heels,
I could've, you know,
with the ladies--
(Chuckling)
No, no, no, never mind.
I think they're gonna be fine.
They better be.
(Chuckling)
(Giggling)
Ooh... hey!
Wooh!
(Giggling)
(Chuckling)
(Chuckling)
Your things.
Aw, still pining
for the Princess?
A princess who's far too good
for the likes of you.
(Rumbling)
She's a beauty.
I'm just looking
at the castle.
Oh, you love castles!
But it's not the King's castle
you'll end up in;
You'll be
in the Ogre's one!
(Laughing)
No, no, no.
Not the Ogre.
If you say horrible things like
that, they might just happen!
Don't worry, Momo,
his words don't scare me.
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
where are we going?
Go on then,
little lovebird!
Go on! Go find
your pathetic destiny!
(Squawking)
PRINCESS:
You are useless,
useless, useless!
Your police are useless!
Anybody can just waltz in here
like it was a mill!
And steal my dancing shoes!
Not even both shoes!
They stole one shoe.
How stupid is that?
You are so useless!
My Princess!
And don't buy me any more
cheap, two-penny shoes!
But Your Highness!
Huh!
If I know the Chamberlain,
he didn't spend more than
one penny for two pairs!
(Giggling)
(Grumbling)
Useless!
Cat?
Come on, Cat.
Let's get going.
I've got a present
for you!
No, no, no.
Mm-hm! I risked my life
to get you
a very personal object
belonging to the Princess.
You're completely insane.
And you, you're in love!
So who's the insane one?
You are!
(Laughing)
♪
(Bar chatter)
MAN:
Oh, yeah, yeah!
The guy's pretty devastated.
His son just disappeared.
What I tell you, huh?
Not a bad place, huh?
Am I right
or am I right?
Oh, hey,
why the long face?
I'm here!
Well it's this:
no offence;
if I had to choose between a
mill and a cat, well--
Oh, okay! Hey, good.
Yeah, that was real nice
comparing me to a mill, huh?
A mill, an idiotic thing
that runs for years on end!
Hey, I'm not
an ordinary cat.
I have boots!
I am Puss 'n Boots!
Rowr!
I can talk. And I whistle.
(Whistling)
Huh?
Yeah, I know
you're special.
And I promise you
one thing.
What's that?
You'll marry the Princess.
I swear!
Trust me!
It's a promise!
(Person whistling tune
from "Carmen")
♪
♪ L'amour ♪
♪ L'amour ♪
♪ L'amour ♪
♪ L'amour! ♪
♪ L'amour est enfant
de Bohême ♪
♪ Il n'a jamais,
jamais connu de loi ♪
♪ Si tu ne m'aimes pas,
je t'aime ♪
♪ Si je t'aime,
prends garde à toi! ♪
♪ Si tu ne m'aimes pas ♪
♪ Si tu ne m'aimes pas,
je t'aime ♪
♪ Mais si je t'aime,
si je t'aime ♪
♪ prends garde à toi! ♪
♪ L'amour, l'amour,
l'amour, l'amour ♪
♪ L'amour, l'amour,
l'amour, l'amour ♪
♪ L'amour est
un oiseau rebelle ♪
♪ Que nul ne peut
apprivoiser ♪
♪ Et c'est bien en vain
qu'on l'appelle ♪
♪ S'il lui convient
de refuser ♪
♪ L'amour ♪
So, how do you like it?
Huh?
Not bad.
We mean the music,
right?
Yes!'Course.
(Whistling)
♪ L'amour! ♪
♪ L'amour est enfant
de Bohême ♪
♪ Il n'a jamais,
jamais connu de loi ♪
♪ Si tu ne m'aimes pas,
je t'aime ♪
♪ Si je t'aime,
prends garde à toi! ♪
♪ Si tu ne m'aimes pas ♪
♪ Si tu ne m'aimes pas,
je t'aime ♪
♪ Mais si je t'aime,
si je t'aime ♪
♪ Prends garde à toi! ♪
(Whispering:)
Prends garde à toi.
(Applause)
Hi, there!
Hello!
Good evening, miss.
I am Puss 'n Boots.
Nice to meet you!
Hello.
And him,
his name is Peter.
You should
see this guy dance!
Oh! He's good!
Enough!
You love to dance?
Oh, more than that!
He dances for love.
He is madly in love!
And do you want to know
who with?
With the Princess.
Ahh...
That's not true!
It's not the truth?
Oh, yes. Oh, yes, ma'am.
Oh, it certainly is true!
Every morning he goes
to listen to her sing.
If that isn't love,
what is?
She's a good singer,
that's all.
PRINCESS:
Every morning?
You must be a music freak.
A freak?
Who? Who? Who's a freak?
A freak of what?
A music freak!
Ahh!
You sing very well.
Like the Princess.
That's sweet.
Oh, a music freak!
Why don't you mind
your own business!
Hey, you're my only business.
You're the only one
that matters.
Do you know her?
Who? Who?
(Clearing throat)
And why was she masked?
Oh, listen.
I have enough trouble
trying to understand men.
But girls...
(Chuckling)
Listen. Listen carefully.
Your life
is going to change.
You, young Peter,
the son of a miller!
Very soon.
(Creaking sound)
(Cracking knuckles)
(Boinging sounds)
Mmm! Pretty.
(Chamberlain giggling)
Who gets the candy
this time, master?
It's for the Court Jester.
He gets on my nerves!
He's going to make
an excellent fat toad!
Hah!
Uh, but Toad Candies are
for the Princess's suitors.
Everyone who has eyes
for the Princess
gets changed into a toad!
All right.
People who don't like me,
same thing: Toads!
Got it!
The jester doesn't understand!
No, no, no, no.
He has to like me!
Yes, master.
(Giggling)
PETER:
So you really think
I have a chance with her?
DOC MARCEL:
Don't worry,
we'll take care of it!
We know what we're doing!
Oh, yes!
You're going to dance
like Nureyev.
You'll sing like Caruso.
The Princess will fall
in love with you,
The Queen will beg you
to marry her daughter,
and the Chamberlain, he'll be
flattened like a cow patty.
And I...
And I...
I will rejoice!
He gets to rejoice!
Ya notice,
Everyting's easy for him!
Momo and Gaston
are gonna have a fit.
Dah...
There's nothing
they can do.
DOC MARCEL:
Not a thing!
PUSS:
Is it me or is it getting
kind of dark?
PETER:
Where are we going,
exactly?
DOC MARCEL:
You see de Ogre's castle?
Well, that's it.
We're almost there.
We're going
to the Ogre's castle?
No. My house is
just below de castle.
Hey, it's gonna be great!
But first we have to survive
one night of horror.
A night of what?
Horror!
Horror! Ah, I forgot
about de horror!
How could you?
A night of horror!
PETER:
I thought cats weren't afraid
of the night,
that they could see
in the dark.
PUSS:
That's right!
That's what makes it so scary!
Are you scared?
What about now?
DOC MARCEL:
There. Look!
Ohh...
PETER:
It's unbelievable!
♪
Come on in!
Home sweet home!
Ohh!
(Whistling)
Ooh! Hey!
I love puppet theatre!
TOUCAN:
Puppet Theatre!
To think the Ogre's
above us.
Hey, forget the Ogre.
We've got our work
cut out for us.
Besides, you're no longer
the son of a miller.
What do you mean?
Leave it to me.
My brother said
this would happen!
Oh, forget your brother!
Have you ever met
the Ogre?
I hope so; I'm de one
who takes care of him!
(Laughing)
The Ogre
is a diabolical sorcerer.
Sometimes his magic gets
out of hand and he gets angry.
So to calm him down,
I play the grophone.
The...?
The grophone.
And can I learn
how to play it?
Yes, but to do that, you have to
go up to the Ogre's.
Yeah, well,
when he's not there.
Hey, must be good, huh?
The sound of, of, of--
Of, of, of, of what?
De grophone!
Grophone!
G-R-O-P-H-O-N-E!
Easy.
My friends,
be very careful.
Do not take de Ogre
for a idiot.
Oh no, no!
No, no, no, no, no!
Oh no! An idiot?
Oh no!
Hey, not at all.
Upstairs?
Can we pay a visit?
Yes, tomorrow night
should be all right!
Hey, I just rhymed!
Oh!
You scared me!
Are we alone now?
Sit down.
The musician isn't here?
No, no, no, no.
And the cat,
and his master?
They all left together.
Don't do that,
Princess.
If people see you,
they'll say--
That the King's daughter
has gone crazy?
That she wears disguises
to do what she wants?
Singing is not the mistake.
The mistake is taking off
your mask.
(Door closing)
♪
Giddyup!
Come on, hup hup!
Giddyup!
Come on!
Let's go!
♪
Looky-looky what I got!
(Chuckling)
Oh, man, are they
gonna taste good!
Hey, hands off, buddy!
No one touches these birds,
you hear?
Why is that?
Because.
Because, Peter,
these birds are royal!
You know he's insane.
TOUCAN:
Uh-huh.
Step two:
The costume!
Maestro?
♪
Hut, one. Hut, two.
Hut, three.
Ha ha!
Ahh!
(Chuckling)
Thank you!
DOC MARCEL:
Bravo, "Baron"!
You're amazin'!
Your Majesty!
(Laughing)
Good day, "Baron."
(Laughing)
Do you mind explaining?
Shh!
It's top secret!
You really are crazy!
Hey, uh...
Look, look, look.
Look at this, this here.
What is this? What's written
here on the basket?
I guess the Baron
isn't so smart.
Seems you can talk,
but you can't read!
Oh!
You know, that is so--
you know, reading, in life,
that is so minor.
It's just so minor, but...
(Grumbling)
Reading. It's overrated.
I am going to pay
a visit to the King.
Adios, muchachos!
♪
Okay, whoa!
Slow, slow down!
(Thudding)
Who is there?
The Baron of the Gutters!
The Baron of the Gutters.
I've never even
heard of you!
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Look, I brought a present
for The Majestieses--
Majes-tie--
I got birds.
♪ La fleur
que tu m'avais jetée ♪
♪ Dans ma prison ♪
♪ M'était restée ♪
♪ The Baron is at hand ♪
♪ Baron of the Gutters ♪
♪ The Baron salutes you ♪
♪ The Baron of the Gutters ♪
♪ Everyone hail the Baron ♪
♪ The Baron
of the Gutters ♪
♪ Everyone hail the Baron ♪
♪ He is at hand! ♪
It is an honour,
Majesties-ses!
You brought potatoes
for The Queen?
(Laughing)
You must have
the wrong castle!
Uh, no. It's one--
No, no, it's two.
Two pheasants.
And one-- no, two--
no, three!
Three partridges.
They're all a gift
from my Master,
The Marquis of Carabas.
What did he say?
Is he a Royal?
Mm-hm.
Your Majesty,
these birds are starting to
seriously, seriously stink!
The Chamberlain
is starting to seriously,
I mean seriously,
aggravate--
hear that--
aggravate The Queen.
Huh??
This close to a toad!
Oh, The Queen would very much
like to make acquaintance
with the gentleman,
The Marquis of Carabas.
And you know what?
She is soon to be having a ball
for her daughter Manon.
So, well,
it would be nice if...
It would be nice
if he came as well, huh?
But the Princess won't be
attending the ball, Majesty.
Why not?
She doesn't like to
dance anymore?
Someone stole one of her
pink dance shoes.
And since
the Chamberlain's police
are incredibly inefficient--
He's nuts!
My beloved Queen,
the jester is a fool!
You should know I have a file,
an enormous file on this jester!
Oh! There, there.
Don't worry about it!
The Marquis of Carabas
will find your royal shoe.
The Marquis has magic powers.
Tell us of his castle,
the Marquis's castle.
Hm?
He doesn't have
a castle! Ha!
Whaddya mean,
he has no castle?
Hm?
Oh, no, no,
but yes, of course!
His castle is magnificent!
Grand!
If you come to the ball
without the Marquis of Carabas,
It's a grinder!
Oh!
A little grinder!
Oh, I love organ grinders!
Here, in our realm,
anyone who lies to the Queen
is chopped up
like hamburger meat.
Ground up?
Like hamburger meat?
We could also make some
wonderful slippers
for Your Majesty with the fur
from the Baron!
Huh?
Ha ha! Very good idea.
Fur slippers!
That should put a bit of fear
into that fat pussycat.
Mm-hm.
Perrault!
Write that down!
Slippers!!
STEWARD:
♪ Flétrie et séche ♪
♪ Cette fleur ♪
♪ Gardait toujours ♪
♪ Sa douce odeur ♪
Huh?
I'll deal with
the jester later!
But that Marquis of Carabas,
he's got his sights set
on the Princess, I'm sure of it!
Go, find him, hunchback!
Give him this...
Then, bring him to the Ogre!
Again?
But it never stops!
Watch it, hunchback!
Watch your step!
I don't know him.
It's just as well.
Then you won't feel sorry.
They'll figure it out.
Eliminating
all the Princess's suitors.
Sure!
But when there are no more young
men in the village--
I hate young men!
why?
Because they're young!
Ahh.
Come here, hunchback.
Yes, master?
How old are you?
Huh?
♪
(Sniffing)
♪
(Whirring)
♪
(Doc Marcel playing piano)
♪
PUSS:
Hey, boys!
Guess who went
to the castle?
The Queen, did you see her?
The Queen...
and... the King--
(Snoring)
And... and the court jester.
He wasn't funny.
And the Chamberlain.
And?
And?
And the Princess?
Oh!
Oh!
Oh, I thought
the lady with the mask
had taken the place
of our princess.
Don't get smart!
So dear Manon
still has a chance.
Manon.
What a beautiful name.
Hey, Cat. Don't forget
your promise, huh?
(Chuckling)
Am I your friend?
Yes, you are.
Well?
So?
Shall we go?
Yeah!
Yes, let's go!
(Wolves howling)
That it Peter, row!
From now on,
you can call me Captain!
(Laughing)
You don't even know
how to swim.
Real sailors don't swim.
They navigate.
Yeah?
Well, good!
So, then, row!
My friends!
We've arrived.
PUSS:
Oh... that?
Oh, this doesn't look nice
at all.
(Wind howling)
Wah!!
(Gibbering)
Hey, hey, scaredy cat.
What are you doin'?
Where you goin'?
Wait for us!
This is better.
♪
(Moaning uneasily)
(Yowling)
(Barking)
Wait for me!
Wait, wait!
(Gibbering)
(Messy swallowing sounds)
(Man with Italian accent:)
Go on, a spoonful
for the Papa!
A spoonful for the Mamma!
And if she's not there,
A spoonful for the uncle!
A spoonful
for the whole family!
A spoonful for the dog...
Oh, I'm so tired.
The magic at night,
it's fine,
But during the day,
it's hard to control.
Easy now, my good Ogre.
Where there's a will,
there's a way!
Don't say that,
Chamberlain!
It gets on my nerves.
And you,
you get on my nerves.
And when I get angry
and upset...
(Growling)
(Roaring)
Doc Marcel!
(Alarm ringing)
Okay, boys.
Looks like I gotta go!
Head back without me.
Don't worry, you'll be fine.
(Growling)
(Roaring)
(Gibbering)
CHEF:
Doc Marcel!
Doc Marcel!
(Roaring)
Doc Marcel!
Mamma mia!
(Playing waltz)
♪
Thank you, Doctor!
But you must
change the music.
It's always the same music!
I, for one, go through
a lot of toil and trouble
turning the Princess's
suitors into toads.
You, you got your magic
when you were little.
But I, I had to work, very,
very, very, very hard
to make my magic candy.
All I've ever wanted
is to be a swan.
But nothing happens!
Isn't there a candy that can
turn me into a swan?
Yes, yes, I promise you
you'll have it very soon,
but not today!
Trust me, I'll have it.
So we have a deal.
You are my Ogre,
you eat every toad
that I send you!
I'll be sending you
a small toad
with a big head
and jingle bells,
a toad who's a complete fool.
(Giggling)
And then you will
also receive...
a marquis toad!
A real marquis?
(Laughing)
Yeah!
And one day,
the princess will be mine!
(Cackling)
He wants to kill the jester!
He wants the princess!
We have to do something!
Okay, okay!
but not just now.
But why not?
Not so loud!
(Whimpering)
PRINCESS MANON:
You're always so welcoming,
Chamberlain.
Oh, Princess!
The Chamberlain is looking for
friends to dance with him.
It's for my ball.
You know how to dance?
No, we're not very good.
But, Peter, our little brother,
he loves to dance!
Momo!
Oh, yeah? All right,
bring him with you.
He can keep our horrible
chamberlain here company!
Princess!
Hey, it's true you're not
that attractive, you know.
Momo!
Be quiet!
Hey, psst!
Your tickets for the ball.
(Growling)
Don't bring your brother!
Peter, come on!
We gotta practice
a little bit. Come on!
Now, you're in
the King's castle.
You're the Marquis
of Carabas!
You're at the ball
with the Princess.
I'm in the castle?
I'm a marquis?
You're crazy!
Peter,
I know what I'm doing!
That's what worries me!
On top of that,
I have an idea for the Ogre.
He can transform.
What if I propose that he
transform himself into a mouse?
(Giggling)
And gulp!
(Chuckling)
Gulp! Get it?
Kitty cat, you honestly think
the Ogre is an idiot?
Oh, no, no, no.
Yes!
No!
Yes!
Okay, I do.
Pretending I'm a marquis
is ridiculous.
It'll never work!
Oh! Now he has doubts!
Hey, who's gonna be
hamburger meat? Me!
And the slippers, those fur
slippers, who'll that be?
Me! That's who!
Calm down. Don't get so angry;
you'll have a hairball.
You're right, bro.
Every morning, The Queen
takes a ride along the river.
This is what
we're going to do.
♪
Help me!
Help me!
Help! Help!
(Gibbering)
Oh, My Queen!
Oh, what timing!
Oh, my master! He's drowning!
Oh my, my, my!
He's there in the water.
There were thieves
and they pushed him in
He's drowning!
My poor master!
Carabas?
Yes!
There were thieves
They pushed him in.
Oh, oh, he didn't drown!
Oh, look, there he is!
Oh! Oh, and nude!
Oh, Carabas!
My goodness, he is nude!
Totally nude and wet!
Oh, oh it's horrible!
Horrible, horrible, horrible!
Stop!
(Cheeping)
Look, it's Carabas!
And he doesn't have
any pants.
Hey, I found Carabas!
Well, we won't keep you.
We'll just walk.
It's a pretty long walk! but we
can-- my arthritis is just--
Wait, wait!
The King, my lovely King,
has invited you to join him!
The castle isn't too far;
just a short hop and a skip!
Oh! Our Queen
is very kind.
What a stroke
of luck, huh?
But, I don't know
what to say!
Hey, just follow my lead,
Oh! Oh, our beloved Queen
has gone above and beyond
being gracious, leaving her
carriage to speak to us!
Aww, it's nothing really;
no biggie.
Ah, it comes from the heart.
So it's settled, then.
And so it shall be.
Do you like toads?
I mean huge toads,
covered in oozing,
disgusting fat pustules?
You like that?
Well, who would?
Well, just so you know,
our castle is filled
with those toads!
Seems like Mr. Carabas
won't be able to come.
Look me straight
in the eyes, my friend.
Mr. Carabas is indeed
coming to the castle,
and you will give him
new clothes.
Toads everywhere!
Do I need to
draw you a picture?
(Simpering)
Oh!
Oh!
Am I good or am I good?
DRIVER:
Giddy up!
♪
(Puss whooping)
♪
Ha ha!
♪
Wah-ha-ha!
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
That's gonna leave
a bruise.
(Playing waltz)
Psst, Marcel!
Hey, I'm gonna set you free.
I made you a candy
that's magical.
I'll be back.
Marcel?
Marcel.
Marcel!
Mm-hm?
Listen, you have to go back to
the King's castle, quick.
It's going well but
we need you for the ball.
No problem!
I'm always at your service!
It's kinda nice here.
(Chef singing)
Where did he come from?
Intruder!
(Guards yelling)
Intruder!
♪
Yes!
♪
(Moaning)
Oh, hi.
A birdie candy.
(Chirping)
(Screaming)
(Laughing)
Oh!
(Snoring)
♪ The Marquis of Carabas ♪
♪ And the Baron
of the Gutters ♪
Sorry, long night!
Where have you been?
I was alone here!
Don't ask.
Now remember,
you're royal.
Do you see?
She's there.
Don't point!
A .
Majesties-es.
Majesties?
My first impression
of him is good.
(Drum roll)
Oh, goodness!
My dancing shoe!
QUEEN:
Congratulations
on finding the footwear,
Mr. Marquis of Carabas.
Hats off!
And it must've been hard
finding it.
Yes, yes, yes. Oh ho!
Your Majesty!
This is nothing
but a con, don't you see?
They're con artists!
A drowning victim
who didn't drown,
a marquis who appears
out of nowhere,
a shoe that's
miraculously found!
I strongly urge Her Majesty
to put a stop
to these imposters.
(Exasperated noise)
Carabas, my friend,
come to us.
Let's be frank.
Are you the one
who stole the shoe?
No, no, no.
Who, him? Who, him? Oh, yes!
Oh, no, no, no! Oh, yes!
No, no, no, no,
no, no!
"Oh, yes" or "Oh, no?"
Not at all!
Watch it, Carabas.
I don't tolerate nonsense,
thank you very much.
Go get the looking glass
my godmother gave me, please.
A ball?
Whatever.
The celebration for me
will be when I
turn into a swan.
CHEF:
Your Honour!
Your Honour!
Your Honour!
Oh, there you are!
Your Honour, Your Majesty!
My president, My colonnello.
Or what I like to call you,
my supreme commandante.
I have to
tell you something.
I am afraid to say that there
has been a bit of an accident.
Don't talk to me about toads!
I can't stand toads!
But no, Ogre, you know
I have nothing to do with that.
It's the-- come si dice--
the Chamberlain!
This story better end well
for your sake, Cookie,
and and also
for the Chamberlain!
Actually, I really don't really
like the Chamberlain.
Me neither!
He has a mean face.
♪
Hmm?
♪
Hmm!
♪
Huh?
Mmm!
Ooh!
Oh!
Uh-oh.
Okay, Peter.
Come on, let's go.
PETER:
This is crazy!
We'll look like fools!
Come on.
Like we planned.
Hey, Princess?
I need you.
You can stand here,
and I will be
right behind you.
All right.
I'm going to start,
and you wait for my cue.
(Giggling)
You're on!
(Both giggling)
Play, Doc Marcel!
♪ The first time
I laid eyes on you ♪
♪ I knew you would be
the one I'd fall for ♪
♪ And when I finally saw
her face ♪
♪ It made my hear beat
even more ♪
♪ And when I finally
heard you speak ♪
♪ I felt a shiver
coursing through me ♪
♪ You looked at me
so tenderly ♪
♪ That my heart
simply filled with glee ♪
GASTON:
This just can't be!
MOMO:
Boy, he really
can sing, huh?
♪ My love runs so deep ♪
♪ For my turkeys
and my sheep ♪
♪ Even if they go
"gobble gobble gobble"? ♪
♪ Even if they go "baa" ♪
♪ But my love
is not so deep ♪
♪ For my turkeys
and my sheep ♪
♪ Even if they go
"gobble gobble gobble" ♪
♪ Even if they go "baa" ♪
And...
♪ When you sat
so close to me ♪
♪ The world around me
started turning ♪
♪ And when you took
my hand in yours ♪
♪ I'd swear my heart
just started burning ♪
And...
♪ My love
is not so deep ♪
♪ For my turkeys
and my sheep ♪
♪ Even if they go
"gobble gobble gobble" ♪
♪ Even if they go "baa" ♪
But...
♪ It's you I want to keep ♪
♪ Not my turkeys
and my sheep ♪
♪ Even if they go
"gobble gobble gobble" ♪
♪ Even if they go "baa" ♪
QUEEN:
Very good!
Very good!
Turkeys!
The turkeys I get, but why
are there sheep, Manon?
JESTER:
Not bad, Carabas.
What the heck
is he doing here?
And the cat!
Mr. Chamberlain, this is
the third time I've told you
that your Marquis of Carabas
is our little brother Peter.
And the cat
is the one from our mill.
We already told you this!
Yes, I know. I know.
But I love hearing it again!
It's-- It's like--
like music to my ears!
(Cackling)
When the King
hears this...
(Making grinding noise)
They tell me--
I'm afraid I can't
reveal my source--
That your castle
is immense.
Way bigger than mine.
Is that what you heard?
Mm-hm.
That you have to see it
to believe it.
Well, if that's
what they say...
It's settled then!
We leave tomorrow morning
to see the famous castle
of the Marquis of Carabas.
MANON:
Carabas!
Carabas?
Is your name really Carabas?
You can call me
whatever you like.
And your father
was a marquis?
My father
was a saint of a man.
Was he a marquis?
No, he was a miller,
and proud to be one.
An excellent miller!
I knew it.
You must tell the truth.
To the Queen.
I can't!
I promised my cat--
You promised a cat?
This cat,
he's my best friend.
Hey!
Friendship,
it is important--
Hey, Peter!
Come over here,
come over here.
I am totally for it!
Don't worry
about the Queen for now.
(Exulting)
As for the Princess,
I made you a promise.
But, for now,
it's in your hands.
(Steward singing wordlessly)
♪
Hey, I'm leaving.
Have a good time,
buddy boy.
Huh?
(Singing wordlessly)
♪
♪
(Applause)
(Cheering)
STEWARD:
Oh, yeah!
It's never too late
to tell the truth, you know.
What about my dance shoe?
It was the cat.
Good night.
So?
Oh, it's going well.
Ah!
Only one small problem.
Oh, what's that?
The Princess
knows everything.
The masked woman
at the inn was her!
Oh, don't worry 'bout it.
The situation is under control.
So you say!
You know what we get for lying?
Oh, yeah!
Back to our miserable shack
in the woods.
There's just no talking
to you.
You always have to have
the last word.
Yeah, you know it.
Oh, just a few more.
We have to hit the hay.
Tomorrow, we have to
get up early.
We leave for your castle.
Oh no, you're kidding.
You--
Ahh--
You said so yourself:
it is magnificent!
Are you nuts?
An Ogre lives there!
Dahh. Good night!
♪
Whoa! The Queen has one
just like this!
But hers is for
grinding up farmers.
What's that
supposed to mean?
It means that if The Queen
asks a question,
and you don't answer
correctly,
you'll be all chopped up.
Hamburger meat!
Oh, yeah?
Mm-hm.
So, Carabas.
Is this all yours?
No, your Majesty.
Not at all!
We look forward to visiting
your castle.
Whoa, there,
stop the carriage!
DRIVER:
Whoa! Whoa!
Hey, farmer!
Tell me, all this land here:
who's it belong to?
Th-the owner is...
It's the Marquis of Carabas.
And...
He's, he's always owned it.
All right.
Let's continue on the journey!
Carabas, my friend.
You are pleasant.
That's good.
But... watch it.
Tell a lie, The Queen
does not like that, heh!
I don't mind a little hanky
panky now and then.
Fine!
Majesty,
Carabas must hide nothing;
You are The Queen.
Ha! The Queen
of nothing much!
The Queen of bupkus!
(Laughing)
But, oh.
She likes her Carabas.
What do you think,
my princess?
I think the Marquis has
something he wants to tell you.
To confess.
To confess?
Oh? Oh!
What sentimental
words of love?
(Giggling)
You really want to go back
to your castle,
up there
in the mountains?
Oh. What's wrong?
Aren't you dying
to see his castle?
(Banging)
Oi! Who dares disturb me?
(Chuckling)
The Baron of the Gutters,
ambassador for the famous
Marquis of Carabas.
I never heard of him!
PUSS:
I would like to have
the honour
of meeting your master,
a fellow magician.
My master does not need
a wee pussy cat!
So hit the road!
(Hissing)
You're testing me if
you're gonna do that, you cat.
That's enough!
Let me enter!
(Hissing)
(Creaking)
You better behave
or I'll toss you right out!
Enter.
Enter, Mr. Gutters.
Oh, it is a genuine pleasure.
You can't believe
this old cat.
They come to that door and
they tell you all kind of--
Ah!
Come in, please.
♪
Must cost a bundle
to heat this place.
♪
Ohh!
Ooh!
Ahh...
Do you actually live here?
Yes, I do.
Oh! Ugh!
That's horrible!
You don't like it?
A fish!
Ugh! They don't taste
very good.
And besides,
they're slimy and wet. Gross.
I'm not good with water.
Why's that?
Not my thing.
Mm.
(Groaning)
(Chuckling)
(Chuckling)
Hey, stop
the carriage again!
(Honking)
DRIVER:
Whoa!
Tell me, my good
and really large man,
this beautiful forest here:
Who owns this property?
Everything you see here is owned
by the Marquis of Carabas.
Yes, Your Majesty The Queen,
that's right.
Carabas, my good friend,
you're really starting
to grow on me.
Yep!
My dear, woodsman.
Thank you.
Thank you
from the Marquis of Carabas.
It's all right.
Luckily the cat came by
before The Queen arrived.
I guess.
Heh. There you go.
This forest does not
belong to Carabas.
Well, no.
You don't even know
this Carabas!
Well, no.
(Chuckling)
They'll all be toads soon!
(Snoring)
OGRE:
Do you know anything
about swans?
PUSS:
Oh, they're my specialty!
Really?
And you're a magician?
For fun.
I dabble.
And you?
Me?
I get tired.
It's too difficult.
Oh, not possible.
A big, strapping guy
like you? Come on.
Come on, for me?
Just do a little
transformation, please?
(Groaning)
(Groaning)
There, you see that?
That right there
is my problem.
The magic
just doesn't come.
Oh! Hey!
Have you ever tried
turning into a tiny mouse?
Do not take me
for a fool!
A fool-- oh, no, no.
Why don't you turn me
into a swan??
Oh, no, no, no.
Just once.
Oh no, too easy! A swan.
(Scoffing)
But I really want to
be one.
Oh!
I have an idea!
Not a little mouse.
Er... oh!
A little rat!
A little rat?
Oh, you make me furious!
This cat is taking me
for a fool!
Doc Marcel!
(Roaring)
You don't like water,
cat?
Well, I do!
(Playing waltz)
No! No, no, no!
Can't take that song
anymore!
♪
♪
(Exclaiming)
(Creaking)
(Exclaiming)
Oh-ho, Majesty!
QUEEN:
What a castle!
Must cost a bundle
to heat it!
Majesty, there's something
I must to tell you.
(Yelling unintelligibly)
What did he say?
QUEEN:
Apparently,
he doesn't like cats.
You understood?
Who wouldn't?
♪
GUARD:
Master!
People in the castle!
I don't know
what is going on!
Oof!
(Laughing)
Wah!
Ugh...
My good Queen.
Beloved Queen.
Your Majesty,
beloved Majesty!
Uh-oh.
All right,
I'm listening.
I am outraged.
You have been lied to!
(Sobbing)
I present to you
the village millers.
These millers are the brothers
of that young, lying miller
over there!
They are.
And they're great millers.
Huh?
So there!
I'm right, as usual!
I'm right!
Your two brothers are millers
and yet you are a marquis?
No! He's an imposter!
(Laughing)
PUSS, WHISPERING:
Hey. Everything's fine.
Don't worry about it;
I've got the situation
under control.
All right.
Explain yourself, Carabas.
Tell The Queen the truth.
How does a miller's son
like you
come to acquire
a royal castle?
Your Majesty,
when my father died,
my two brothers got the mill
and I, uh...
Ughh!
What a liar! Such a liar!
Horrible liar.
Hamburger meat!
♪
(Manon singing to
"Greensleeves":)
♪ At last, my heart
just split in two ♪
♪ My love has gone ♪
♪ What shall I do? ♪
♪ I stood by him
for eternity ♪
I don't know that one.
It's beautiful.
♪ That man was green
and he filled my heart ♪
I am not crazy.
No, I am not crazy!
♪ Yes, I gave him
my truest love ♪
♪ And inside was the soul
of the kindest dove ♪
Oh, now, now.
Everything's gonna be fine.
It won't!
Everything won't be fine.
(Sobbing)
I wanna be a swan!
That's my dream!
(Sobbing)
Come now.
Let me be of help.
I am Puss 'n Boots,
after all.
You help me, cat?
With your stupid pet tricks?
They're not, pet tricks,
all right?
Hey!
Hey!
Hey...
I wonder who
this swan candy is for?
Is it for you?
Huh?
CHAMBERLAIN:
There's that cat!
There's the cat!
(Ogre giggling)
And there is my ogre!
Ha ha!
I got them!
(Cackling)
PUSS:
Per vitam horribilis ogrum.
Your Gracious Majesty.
I'd like to present the true
master of this castle!
(Cymbal crash)
(Exclaiming)
(Quacking)
Majesty!
Princess!
Welcome to the castle!
All right,
so where's this ogre?
An ogre?
Who saw an ogre?
Mr. Ogre?
There's no ogre.
Not here!
Ah! There's no ogre.
There's nothing.
Who lives here?
The Marquis of...
Carabas!
The Marquis of...
Carabas.
There you go!
Simple as that!
(Quacking)
Okay, so you're a duck!
(Frustrated noise)
Just what I need,
another quack!
But Majesty, stop.
Stop, Majesty!
It's impossible, it's
impossible. There is an ogre.
I know there's an ogre
because he's my ogre!
I gave the magic candy
to the ogre.
I changed all the young men
into toads, me!
That ogre was all mine!
It's my ogre! He is my ogre!
He's here! He's here!
I know he's here!
(Fading into distance:)
Ogre, where are you??
Here, Ogre, Ogre, Ogre!
Bring me the Chamberlain.
Yes!
So.
So.
A good day after all.
Yeah, and a tough one.
But it ended well.
Tell me,
are you a miller
or are you a marquis?
Miller, obviously,
but with a very special cat.
I'm glad that you told me
the truth.
My looking glass
was right, then.
The problem is,
you talk to your looking glass
and that's kind of scary.
Oh, you're always
talking to your cat.
Hey, I'm just lucky;
I got a cat that talks.
You think that's normal?
(Kissing)
Oh!
Oh, Puss 'n Boots,
we are in great danger.
You mean to say,
you are.
Well, yes, I do.
But, it's very serious!
I see!
I want to get out of here!
Help me, my good, brave,
booted Baron!
Hey!
You don't need to
worry like that.
Although I do think
The Queen is looking for you.
I have nothing more
to say to The Queen.
I don't even
know her anymore!
She doesn't believe anything
I say or do!
My dear Puss 'n Boots,
help me!
All right.
I might be able to help you out
this one time, pal.
You're the greatest,
Puss 'n Boots!
Hey, you like toads,
don't you?
I adore toads!
That works out well, then.
Here.
♪ I feel pretty,
oh, so pretty ♪
♪ I feel pretty and witty
and bright ♪
♪ And I pity any girl ♪
♪ Who isn't
me tonight ♪
Oh, she's feeling
very pretty.
♪ I feel charming,
oh, so charming ♪
♪ It's alarming
how charming I feel ♪
♪ And so pretty ♪
♪ that I hardly can believe
I'm real ♪
♪ See the pretty girl
in that mirror there ♪
♪ Who can that
attractive girl be? ♪
(Dinging)
♪ Such a pretty face,
such pretty smile ♪
♪ Such a pretty dress,
such a pretty me! ♪
♪ I feel stunning
and entrancing ♪
♪ Feel like running
and dancing for joy ♪
♪ For I'm loved ♪
♪ By a pretty
wonderful boy ♪
Honestly, what do you see
in that boy?
Oh, he's so nice!
You can't be serious!
You don't marry someone
just 'cause they're nice.
You don't know what it's like
to be in love.
You're not sensible!
Not sensible?
I'm getting married! Me!
(Church bells ringing,
crowd cheering)
Oh, my. Oh, no.
Oh. Thank you-- oh!
Oh, but you are too kind.
No, no, I-- I--
This is amazing.
You are my people.
Oh, oh.
Thank you.
♪ Ave ♪
♪ Maria ♪
♪ Gratia plena ♪
♪ Dominus tecum ♪
♪ Benedicta tu ♪
♪
Hey, my doodle bug.
We're gonna have to
face the facts.
Looks like it's just
you and me now.
(Sighing)
I've got an idea!
Huh?
What if we kept the cat?
Oh, you would make a
great chamberlain!
Oh, no, no, no.
I don't think I'd be good
at that all!
You would!
No way!
But why not?
♪ I'm just a funny Joe ♪
♪ And everywhere I go ♪
♪ People say I'm a drifter ♪
♪ Every day I dance ♪
♪ Looking for romance ♪
♪ Ah, just a prankster ♪
♪ And there will come
a day ♪
♪ When everyone will say ♪
♪ Boy, oh boy,
that I was just a liar ♪
♪ I'm not one
for laying low ♪
♪ I'm a prankster,
now, you know ♪
♪ I got a friend
who's leaving ♪
For you!
(Chuckling)
CHARLES PERRAULT:
And that's the end
of my story.
Puss 'n Boots sure knew
how to tell a tall tale.
No question.
The Princess was beautiful.
And the Prince, well,
he wasn't really a Prince
but just as charming
So...
♪ I'm just a funny Joe ♪
♪ And everywhere I go ♪
♪ People say I'm a drifter ♪
♪ Every day I dance ♪
♪ Looking for romance ♪
♪ Ah, just a prankster ♪
♪ And there will come
a day ♪
♪ When everyone will say ♪
♪ Boy, oh boy,
that I was just a liar ♪
♪ I'm not one
for laying low ♪
♪ I'm a prankster,
now, you know ♪
♪ I got a friend
who's leaving ♪
(Croaking)
(Quacking)
(Chattering)
♪
(Birds fluttering)
(Birds calling)
(Haunting harmonica music)
♪
♪
MAN:
My name is Charles Perrault.
And I witnessed
an incredible story,
one I have decided to tell
to children, young and old.
It's the story of a young
miller, a princess,
and a cat.
I'm worried
about the Princess!
I'm concerned, I'm overwrought,
I don't know what to do!
I'm very worried
about the Princess!
(Stammering drunkenly)
What's he telling me?
It's all right, My Queen,
there's nothing
to worry about.
Our Princess is just fine.
It's the Chamberlain
who has the problem!
Huh? Your Magnificent Majesty!
We have to find a husband
for the Princess!
A husband?
What on earth for?
To marry!
(Snivelling)
The Princess will only marry
an excellent dancer.
This husband
should be a Royal.
Or maybe she could possibly
marry a--
A chamberlain?
Oh, no.
A chamberlain?
A chamberlain!
Oh no, I don't think
I like that.
Majesty!
He's right, a chamberlain!
And why not a chamberlain?
This is a handsome chamberlain!
He's a grand chamberlain!
He's gentle!
He can dance very, very, very,
very, well, this chamberlain!
Hey, Honey?
(Snoring)
Oh, look who's having a dodo!
Oh... He's a cutie, huh,
my little sweetie pie.
Hey!
Li'l boy?
(Groaning)
(Yawning)
♪
(Singing wordlessly)
♪
(Whistling)
(Singing audible)
♪
♪ Tra la la la la la la la la ♪
♪
(Humming along)
♪ Ta ta ta ♪
One, two,
three, four!
♪
(Humming along)
♪
(Groaning)
♪
One, two, three, four!
♪
ATTENDANT:
Well done, princess!
You're amazing!
(Windmill creaking)
Come in, Mr. Perrault.
My children, come close.
The time for me
to say goodbye,
my dear sons,
is close at hand.
Listen well.
I have divided all my goods
into two parts.
The mill
I am leaving
to my two eldest sons,
Gaston and Momo.
And you, dear Peter,
my youngest,
I bequeath to you...
The cat.
(Snickering)
Our wonderful Puss!
Oh, I know
what I'm doing.
You'll find your destiny
with the cat.
Good luck.
That's all?
Yes, that's all.
(Door closing)
Your cat:
Make him some boots.
The red leather
you will use
is in my old trunk
in the attic.
Your special red leather.
Very important,
those boots.
You'll see.
You'll see.
You must never be afraid
to live your life.
I won't, Father.
Don't forget:
Always have trust
in your cat.
In the cat.
♪
Uh, listen. I got a little
problem with these boots!
What's the problem?
Well, look:
the heels are a bit low.
I don't want to appear
to be too short.
Can you do something, maybe
build them up just a little bit?
No?
This is my last night at home
and I'm spending it
working my fingers
to the bone making boots!
So that's enough
out of you!
Okay!
Okay, okay, okay.
Let's be calm.
I just meant:
with higher heels,
I could've, you know,
with the ladies--
(Chuckling)
No, no, no, never mind.
I think they're gonna be fine.
They better be.
(Chuckling)
(Giggling)
Ooh... hey!
Wooh!
(Giggling)
(Chuckling)
(Chuckling)
Your things.
Aw, still pining
for the Princess?
A princess who's far too good
for the likes of you.
(Rumbling)
She's a beauty.
I'm just looking
at the castle.
Oh, you love castles!
But it's not the King's castle
you'll end up in;
You'll be
in the Ogre's one!
(Laughing)
No, no, no.
Not the Ogre.
If you say horrible things like
that, they might just happen!
Don't worry, Momo,
his words don't scare me.
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
where are we going?
Go on then,
little lovebird!
Go on! Go find
your pathetic destiny!
(Squawking)
PRINCESS:
You are useless,
useless, useless!
Your police are useless!
Anybody can just waltz in here
like it was a mill!
And steal my dancing shoes!
Not even both shoes!
They stole one shoe.
How stupid is that?
You are so useless!
My Princess!
And don't buy me any more
cheap, two-penny shoes!
But Your Highness!
Huh!
If I know the Chamberlain,
he didn't spend more than
one penny for two pairs!
(Giggling)
(Grumbling)
Useless!
Cat?
Come on, Cat.
Let's get going.
I've got a present
for you!
No, no, no.
Mm-hm! I risked my life
to get you
a very personal object
belonging to the Princess.
You're completely insane.
And you, you're in love!
So who's the insane one?
You are!
(Laughing)
♪
(Bar chatter)
MAN:
Oh, yeah, yeah!
The guy's pretty devastated.
His son just disappeared.
What I tell you, huh?
Not a bad place, huh?
Am I right
or am I right?
Oh, hey,
why the long face?
I'm here!
Well it's this:
no offence;
if I had to choose between a
mill and a cat, well--
Oh, okay! Hey, good.
Yeah, that was real nice
comparing me to a mill, huh?
A mill, an idiotic thing
that runs for years on end!
Hey, I'm not
an ordinary cat.
I have boots!
I am Puss 'n Boots!
Rowr!
I can talk. And I whistle.
(Whistling)
Huh?
Yeah, I know
you're special.
And I promise you
one thing.
What's that?
You'll marry the Princess.
I swear!
Trust me!
It's a promise!
(Person whistling tune
from "Carmen")
♪
♪ L'amour ♪
♪ L'amour ♪
♪ L'amour ♪
♪ L'amour! ♪
♪ L'amour est enfant
de Bohême ♪
♪ Il n'a jamais,
jamais connu de loi ♪
♪ Si tu ne m'aimes pas,
je t'aime ♪
♪ Si je t'aime,
prends garde à toi! ♪
♪ Si tu ne m'aimes pas ♪
♪ Si tu ne m'aimes pas,
je t'aime ♪
♪ Mais si je t'aime,
si je t'aime ♪
♪ prends garde à toi! ♪
♪ L'amour, l'amour,
l'amour, l'amour ♪
♪ L'amour, l'amour,
l'amour, l'amour ♪
♪ L'amour est
un oiseau rebelle ♪
♪ Que nul ne peut
apprivoiser ♪
♪ Et c'est bien en vain
qu'on l'appelle ♪
♪ S'il lui convient
de refuser ♪
♪ L'amour ♪
So, how do you like it?
Huh?
Not bad.
We mean the music,
right?
Yes!'Course.
(Whistling)
♪ L'amour! ♪
♪ L'amour est enfant
de Bohême ♪
♪ Il n'a jamais,
jamais connu de loi ♪
♪ Si tu ne m'aimes pas,
je t'aime ♪
♪ Si je t'aime,
prends garde à toi! ♪
♪ Si tu ne m'aimes pas ♪
♪ Si tu ne m'aimes pas,
je t'aime ♪
♪ Mais si je t'aime,
si je t'aime ♪
♪ Prends garde à toi! ♪
(Whispering:)
Prends garde à toi.
(Applause)
Hi, there!
Hello!
Good evening, miss.
I am Puss 'n Boots.
Nice to meet you!
Hello.
And him,
his name is Peter.
You should
see this guy dance!
Oh! He's good!
Enough!
You love to dance?
Oh, more than that!
He dances for love.
He is madly in love!
And do you want to know
who with?
With the Princess.
Ahh...
That's not true!
It's not the truth?
Oh, yes. Oh, yes, ma'am.
Oh, it certainly is true!
Every morning he goes
to listen to her sing.
If that isn't love,
what is?
She's a good singer,
that's all.
PRINCESS:
Every morning?
You must be a music freak.
A freak?
Who? Who? Who's a freak?
A freak of what?
A music freak!
Ahh!
You sing very well.
Like the Princess.
That's sweet.
Oh, a music freak!
Why don't you mind
your own business!
Hey, you're my only business.
You're the only one
that matters.
Do you know her?
Who? Who?
(Clearing throat)
And why was she masked?
Oh, listen.
I have enough trouble
trying to understand men.
But girls...
(Chuckling)
Listen. Listen carefully.
Your life
is going to change.
You, young Peter,
the son of a miller!
Very soon.
(Creaking sound)
(Cracking knuckles)
(Boinging sounds)
Mmm! Pretty.
(Chamberlain giggling)
Who gets the candy
this time, master?
It's for the Court Jester.
He gets on my nerves!
He's going to make
an excellent fat toad!
Hah!
Uh, but Toad Candies are
for the Princess's suitors.
Everyone who has eyes
for the Princess
gets changed into a toad!
All right.
People who don't like me,
same thing: Toads!
Got it!
The jester doesn't understand!
No, no, no, no.
He has to like me!
Yes, master.
(Giggling)
PETER:
So you really think
I have a chance with her?
DOC MARCEL:
Don't worry,
we'll take care of it!
We know what we're doing!
Oh, yes!
You're going to dance
like Nureyev.
You'll sing like Caruso.
The Princess will fall
in love with you,
The Queen will beg you
to marry her daughter,
and the Chamberlain, he'll be
flattened like a cow patty.
And I...
And I...
I will rejoice!
He gets to rejoice!
Ya notice,
Everyting's easy for him!
Momo and Gaston
are gonna have a fit.
Dah...
There's nothing
they can do.
DOC MARCEL:
Not a thing!
PUSS:
Is it me or is it getting
kind of dark?
PETER:
Where are we going,
exactly?
DOC MARCEL:
You see de Ogre's castle?
Well, that's it.
We're almost there.
We're going
to the Ogre's castle?
No. My house is
just below de castle.
Hey, it's gonna be great!
But first we have to survive
one night of horror.
A night of what?
Horror!
Horror! Ah, I forgot
about de horror!
How could you?
A night of horror!
PETER:
I thought cats weren't afraid
of the night,
that they could see
in the dark.
PUSS:
That's right!
That's what makes it so scary!
Are you scared?
What about now?
DOC MARCEL:
There. Look!
Ohh...
PETER:
It's unbelievable!
♪
Come on in!
Home sweet home!
Ohh!
(Whistling)
Ooh! Hey!
I love puppet theatre!
TOUCAN:
Puppet Theatre!
To think the Ogre's
above us.
Hey, forget the Ogre.
We've got our work
cut out for us.
Besides, you're no longer
the son of a miller.
What do you mean?
Leave it to me.
My brother said
this would happen!
Oh, forget your brother!
Have you ever met
the Ogre?
I hope so; I'm de one
who takes care of him!
(Laughing)
The Ogre
is a diabolical sorcerer.
Sometimes his magic gets
out of hand and he gets angry.
So to calm him down,
I play the grophone.
The...?
The grophone.
And can I learn
how to play it?
Yes, but to do that, you have to
go up to the Ogre's.
Yeah, well,
when he's not there.
Hey, must be good, huh?
The sound of, of, of--
Of, of, of, of what?
De grophone!
Grophone!
G-R-O-P-H-O-N-E!
Easy.
My friends,
be very careful.
Do not take de Ogre
for a idiot.
Oh no, no!
No, no, no, no, no!
Oh no! An idiot?
Oh no!
Hey, not at all.
Upstairs?
Can we pay a visit?
Yes, tomorrow night
should be all right!
Hey, I just rhymed!
Oh!
You scared me!
Are we alone now?
Sit down.
The musician isn't here?
No, no, no, no.
And the cat,
and his master?
They all left together.
Don't do that,
Princess.
If people see you,
they'll say--
That the King's daughter
has gone crazy?
That she wears disguises
to do what she wants?
Singing is not the mistake.
The mistake is taking off
your mask.
(Door closing)
♪
Giddyup!
Come on, hup hup!
Giddyup!
Come on!
Let's go!
♪
Looky-looky what I got!
(Chuckling)
Oh, man, are they
gonna taste good!
Hey, hands off, buddy!
No one touches these birds,
you hear?
Why is that?
Because.
Because, Peter,
these birds are royal!
You know he's insane.
TOUCAN:
Uh-huh.
Step two:
The costume!
Maestro?
♪
Hut, one. Hut, two.
Hut, three.
Ha ha!
Ahh!
(Chuckling)
Thank you!
DOC MARCEL:
Bravo, "Baron"!
You're amazin'!
Your Majesty!
(Laughing)
Good day, "Baron."
(Laughing)
Do you mind explaining?
Shh!
It's top secret!
You really are crazy!
Hey, uh...
Look, look, look.
Look at this, this here.
What is this? What's written
here on the basket?
I guess the Baron
isn't so smart.
Seems you can talk,
but you can't read!
Oh!
You know, that is so--
you know, reading, in life,
that is so minor.
It's just so minor, but...
(Grumbling)
Reading. It's overrated.
I am going to pay
a visit to the King.
Adios, muchachos!
♪
Okay, whoa!
Slow, slow down!
(Thudding)
Who is there?
The Baron of the Gutters!
The Baron of the Gutters.
I've never even
heard of you!
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Look, I brought a present
for The Majestieses--
Majes-tie--
I got birds.
♪ La fleur
que tu m'avais jetée ♪
♪ Dans ma prison ♪
♪ M'était restée ♪
♪ The Baron is at hand ♪
♪ Baron of the Gutters ♪
♪ The Baron salutes you ♪
♪ The Baron of the Gutters ♪
♪ Everyone hail the Baron ♪
♪ The Baron
of the Gutters ♪
♪ Everyone hail the Baron ♪
♪ He is at hand! ♪
It is an honour,
Majesties-ses!
You brought potatoes
for The Queen?
(Laughing)
You must have
the wrong castle!
Uh, no. It's one--
No, no, it's two.
Two pheasants.
And one-- no, two--
no, three!
Three partridges.
They're all a gift
from my Master,
The Marquis of Carabas.
What did he say?
Is he a Royal?
Mm-hm.
Your Majesty,
these birds are starting to
seriously, seriously stink!
The Chamberlain
is starting to seriously,
I mean seriously,
aggravate--
hear that--
aggravate The Queen.
Huh??
This close to a toad!
Oh, The Queen would very much
like to make acquaintance
with the gentleman,
The Marquis of Carabas.
And you know what?
She is soon to be having a ball
for her daughter Manon.
So, well,
it would be nice if...
It would be nice
if he came as well, huh?
But the Princess won't be
attending the ball, Majesty.
Why not?
She doesn't like to
dance anymore?
Someone stole one of her
pink dance shoes.
And since
the Chamberlain's police
are incredibly inefficient--
He's nuts!
My beloved Queen,
the jester is a fool!
You should know I have a file,
an enormous file on this jester!
Oh! There, there.
Don't worry about it!
The Marquis of Carabas
will find your royal shoe.
The Marquis has magic powers.
Tell us of his castle,
the Marquis's castle.
Hm?
He doesn't have
a castle! Ha!
Whaddya mean,
he has no castle?
Hm?
Oh, no, no,
but yes, of course!
His castle is magnificent!
Grand!
If you come to the ball
without the Marquis of Carabas,
It's a grinder!
Oh!
A little grinder!
Oh, I love organ grinders!
Here, in our realm,
anyone who lies to the Queen
is chopped up
like hamburger meat.
Ground up?
Like hamburger meat?
We could also make some
wonderful slippers
for Your Majesty with the fur
from the Baron!
Huh?
Ha ha! Very good idea.
Fur slippers!
That should put a bit of fear
into that fat pussycat.
Mm-hm.
Perrault!
Write that down!
Slippers!!
STEWARD:
♪ Flétrie et séche ♪
♪ Cette fleur ♪
♪ Gardait toujours ♪
♪ Sa douce odeur ♪
Huh?
I'll deal with
the jester later!
But that Marquis of Carabas,
he's got his sights set
on the Princess, I'm sure of it!
Go, find him, hunchback!
Give him this...
Then, bring him to the Ogre!
Again?
But it never stops!
Watch it, hunchback!
Watch your step!
I don't know him.
It's just as well.
Then you won't feel sorry.
They'll figure it out.
Eliminating
all the Princess's suitors.
Sure!
But when there are no more young
men in the village--
I hate young men!
why?
Because they're young!
Ahh.
Come here, hunchback.
Yes, master?
How old are you?
Huh?
♪
(Sniffing)
♪
(Whirring)
♪
(Doc Marcel playing piano)
♪
PUSS:
Hey, boys!
Guess who went
to the castle?
The Queen, did you see her?
The Queen...
and... the King--
(Snoring)
And... and the court jester.
He wasn't funny.
And the Chamberlain.
And?
And?
And the Princess?
Oh!
Oh!
Oh, I thought
the lady with the mask
had taken the place
of our princess.
Don't get smart!
So dear Manon
still has a chance.
Manon.
What a beautiful name.
Hey, Cat. Don't forget
your promise, huh?
(Chuckling)
Am I your friend?
Yes, you are.
Well?
So?
Shall we go?
Yeah!
Yes, let's go!
(Wolves howling)
That it Peter, row!
From now on,
you can call me Captain!
(Laughing)
You don't even know
how to swim.
Real sailors don't swim.
They navigate.
Yeah?
Well, good!
So, then, row!
My friends!
We've arrived.
PUSS:
Oh... that?
Oh, this doesn't look nice
at all.
(Wind howling)
Wah!!
(Gibbering)
Hey, hey, scaredy cat.
What are you doin'?
Where you goin'?
Wait for us!
This is better.
♪
(Moaning uneasily)
(Yowling)
(Barking)
Wait for me!
Wait, wait!
(Gibbering)
(Messy swallowing sounds)
(Man with Italian accent:)
Go on, a spoonful
for the Papa!
A spoonful for the Mamma!
And if she's not there,
A spoonful for the uncle!
A spoonful
for the whole family!
A spoonful for the dog...
Oh, I'm so tired.
The magic at night,
it's fine,
But during the day,
it's hard to control.
Easy now, my good Ogre.
Where there's a will,
there's a way!
Don't say that,
Chamberlain!
It gets on my nerves.
And you,
you get on my nerves.
And when I get angry
and upset...
(Growling)
(Roaring)
Doc Marcel!
(Alarm ringing)
Okay, boys.
Looks like I gotta go!
Head back without me.
Don't worry, you'll be fine.
(Growling)
(Roaring)
(Gibbering)
CHEF:
Doc Marcel!
Doc Marcel!
(Roaring)
Doc Marcel!
Mamma mia!
(Playing waltz)
♪
Thank you, Doctor!
But you must
change the music.
It's always the same music!
I, for one, go through
a lot of toil and trouble
turning the Princess's
suitors into toads.
You, you got your magic
when you were little.
But I, I had to work, very,
very, very, very hard
to make my magic candy.
All I've ever wanted
is to be a swan.
But nothing happens!
Isn't there a candy that can
turn me into a swan?
Yes, yes, I promise you
you'll have it very soon,
but not today!
Trust me, I'll have it.
So we have a deal.
You are my Ogre,
you eat every toad
that I send you!
I'll be sending you
a small toad
with a big head
and jingle bells,
a toad who's a complete fool.
(Giggling)
And then you will
also receive...
a marquis toad!
A real marquis?
(Laughing)
Yeah!
And one day,
the princess will be mine!
(Cackling)
He wants to kill the jester!
He wants the princess!
We have to do something!
Okay, okay!
but not just now.
But why not?
Not so loud!
(Whimpering)
PRINCESS MANON:
You're always so welcoming,
Chamberlain.
Oh, Princess!
The Chamberlain is looking for
friends to dance with him.
It's for my ball.
You know how to dance?
No, we're not very good.
But, Peter, our little brother,
he loves to dance!
Momo!
Oh, yeah? All right,
bring him with you.
He can keep our horrible
chamberlain here company!
Princess!
Hey, it's true you're not
that attractive, you know.
Momo!
Be quiet!
Hey, psst!
Your tickets for the ball.
(Growling)
Don't bring your brother!
Peter, come on!
We gotta practice
a little bit. Come on!
Now, you're in
the King's castle.
You're the Marquis
of Carabas!
You're at the ball
with the Princess.
I'm in the castle?
I'm a marquis?
You're crazy!
Peter,
I know what I'm doing!
That's what worries me!
On top of that,
I have an idea for the Ogre.
He can transform.
What if I propose that he
transform himself into a mouse?
(Giggling)
And gulp!
(Chuckling)
Gulp! Get it?
Kitty cat, you honestly think
the Ogre is an idiot?
Oh, no, no, no.
Yes!
No!
Yes!
Okay, I do.
Pretending I'm a marquis
is ridiculous.
It'll never work!
Oh! Now he has doubts!
Hey, who's gonna be
hamburger meat? Me!
And the slippers, those fur
slippers, who'll that be?
Me! That's who!
Calm down. Don't get so angry;
you'll have a hairball.
You're right, bro.
Every morning, The Queen
takes a ride along the river.
This is what
we're going to do.
♪
Help me!
Help me!
Help! Help!
(Gibbering)
Oh, My Queen!
Oh, what timing!
Oh, my master! He's drowning!
Oh my, my, my!
He's there in the water.
There were thieves
and they pushed him in
He's drowning!
My poor master!
Carabas?
Yes!
There were thieves
They pushed him in.
Oh, oh, he didn't drown!
Oh, look, there he is!
Oh! Oh, and nude!
Oh, Carabas!
My goodness, he is nude!
Totally nude and wet!
Oh, oh it's horrible!
Horrible, horrible, horrible!
Stop!
(Cheeping)
Look, it's Carabas!
And he doesn't have
any pants.
Hey, I found Carabas!
Well, we won't keep you.
We'll just walk.
It's a pretty long walk! but we
can-- my arthritis is just--
Wait, wait!
The King, my lovely King,
has invited you to join him!
The castle isn't too far;
just a short hop and a skip!
Oh! Our Queen
is very kind.
What a stroke
of luck, huh?
But, I don't know
what to say!
Hey, just follow my lead,
Oh! Oh, our beloved Queen
has gone above and beyond
being gracious, leaving her
carriage to speak to us!
Aww, it's nothing really;
no biggie.
Ah, it comes from the heart.
So it's settled, then.
And so it shall be.
Do you like toads?
I mean huge toads,
covered in oozing,
disgusting fat pustules?
You like that?
Well, who would?
Well, just so you know,
our castle is filled
with those toads!
Seems like Mr. Carabas
won't be able to come.
Look me straight
in the eyes, my friend.
Mr. Carabas is indeed
coming to the castle,
and you will give him
new clothes.
Toads everywhere!
Do I need to
draw you a picture?
(Simpering)
Oh!
Oh!
Am I good or am I good?
DRIVER:
Giddy up!
♪
(Puss whooping)
♪
Ha ha!
♪
Wah-ha-ha!
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
That's gonna leave
a bruise.
(Playing waltz)
Psst, Marcel!
Hey, I'm gonna set you free.
I made you a candy
that's magical.
I'll be back.
Marcel?
Marcel.
Marcel!
Mm-hm?
Listen, you have to go back to
the King's castle, quick.
It's going well but
we need you for the ball.
No problem!
I'm always at your service!
It's kinda nice here.
(Chef singing)
Where did he come from?
Intruder!
(Guards yelling)
Intruder!
♪
Yes!
♪
(Moaning)
Oh, hi.
A birdie candy.
(Chirping)
(Screaming)
(Laughing)
Oh!
(Snoring)
♪ The Marquis of Carabas ♪
♪ And the Baron
of the Gutters ♪
Sorry, long night!
Where have you been?
I was alone here!
Don't ask.
Now remember,
you're royal.
Do you see?
She's there.
Don't point!
A .
Majesties-es.
Majesties?
My first impression
of him is good.
(Drum roll)
Oh, goodness!
My dancing shoe!
QUEEN:
Congratulations
on finding the footwear,
Mr. Marquis of Carabas.
Hats off!
And it must've been hard
finding it.
Yes, yes, yes. Oh ho!
Your Majesty!
This is nothing
but a con, don't you see?
They're con artists!
A drowning victim
who didn't drown,
a marquis who appears
out of nowhere,
a shoe that's
miraculously found!
I strongly urge Her Majesty
to put a stop
to these imposters.
(Exasperated noise)
Carabas, my friend,
come to us.
Let's be frank.
Are you the one
who stole the shoe?
No, no, no.
Who, him? Who, him? Oh, yes!
Oh, no, no, no! Oh, yes!
No, no, no, no,
no, no!
"Oh, yes" or "Oh, no?"
Not at all!
Watch it, Carabas.
I don't tolerate nonsense,
thank you very much.
Go get the looking glass
my godmother gave me, please.
A ball?
Whatever.
The celebration for me
will be when I
turn into a swan.
CHEF:
Your Honour!
Your Honour!
Your Honour!
Oh, there you are!
Your Honour, Your Majesty!
My president, My colonnello.
Or what I like to call you,
my supreme commandante.
I have to
tell you something.
I am afraid to say that there
has been a bit of an accident.
Don't talk to me about toads!
I can't stand toads!
But no, Ogre, you know
I have nothing to do with that.
It's the-- come si dice--
the Chamberlain!
This story better end well
for your sake, Cookie,
and and also
for the Chamberlain!
Actually, I really don't really
like the Chamberlain.
Me neither!
He has a mean face.
♪
Hmm?
♪
Hmm!
♪
Huh?
Mmm!
Ooh!
Oh!
Uh-oh.
Okay, Peter.
Come on, let's go.
PETER:
This is crazy!
We'll look like fools!
Come on.
Like we planned.
Hey, Princess?
I need you.
You can stand here,
and I will be
right behind you.
All right.
I'm going to start,
and you wait for my cue.
(Giggling)
You're on!
(Both giggling)
Play, Doc Marcel!
♪ The first time
I laid eyes on you ♪
♪ I knew you would be
the one I'd fall for ♪
♪ And when I finally saw
her face ♪
♪ It made my hear beat
even more ♪
♪ And when I finally
heard you speak ♪
♪ I felt a shiver
coursing through me ♪
♪ You looked at me
so tenderly ♪
♪ That my heart
simply filled with glee ♪
GASTON:
This just can't be!
MOMO:
Boy, he really
can sing, huh?
♪ My love runs so deep ♪
♪ For my turkeys
and my sheep ♪
♪ Even if they go
"gobble gobble gobble"? ♪
♪ Even if they go "baa" ♪
♪ But my love
is not so deep ♪
♪ For my turkeys
and my sheep ♪
♪ Even if they go
"gobble gobble gobble" ♪
♪ Even if they go "baa" ♪
And...
♪ When you sat
so close to me ♪
♪ The world around me
started turning ♪
♪ And when you took
my hand in yours ♪
♪ I'd swear my heart
just started burning ♪
And...
♪ My love
is not so deep ♪
♪ For my turkeys
and my sheep ♪
♪ Even if they go
"gobble gobble gobble" ♪
♪ Even if they go "baa" ♪
But...
♪ It's you I want to keep ♪
♪ Not my turkeys
and my sheep ♪
♪ Even if they go
"gobble gobble gobble" ♪
♪ Even if they go "baa" ♪
QUEEN:
Very good!
Very good!
Turkeys!
The turkeys I get, but why
are there sheep, Manon?
JESTER:
Not bad, Carabas.
What the heck
is he doing here?
And the cat!
Mr. Chamberlain, this is
the third time I've told you
that your Marquis of Carabas
is our little brother Peter.
And the cat
is the one from our mill.
We already told you this!
Yes, I know. I know.
But I love hearing it again!
It's-- It's like--
like music to my ears!
(Cackling)
When the King
hears this...
(Making grinding noise)
They tell me--
I'm afraid I can't
reveal my source--
That your castle
is immense.
Way bigger than mine.
Is that what you heard?
Mm-hm.
That you have to see it
to believe it.
Well, if that's
what they say...
It's settled then!
We leave tomorrow morning
to see the famous castle
of the Marquis of Carabas.
MANON:
Carabas!
Carabas?
Is your name really Carabas?
You can call me
whatever you like.
And your father
was a marquis?
My father
was a saint of a man.
Was he a marquis?
No, he was a miller,
and proud to be one.
An excellent miller!
I knew it.
You must tell the truth.
To the Queen.
I can't!
I promised my cat--
You promised a cat?
This cat,
he's my best friend.
Hey!
Friendship,
it is important--
Hey, Peter!
Come over here,
come over here.
I am totally for it!
Don't worry
about the Queen for now.
(Exulting)
As for the Princess,
I made you a promise.
But, for now,
it's in your hands.
(Steward singing wordlessly)
♪
Hey, I'm leaving.
Have a good time,
buddy boy.
Huh?
(Singing wordlessly)
♪
♪
(Applause)
(Cheering)
STEWARD:
Oh, yeah!
It's never too late
to tell the truth, you know.
What about my dance shoe?
It was the cat.
Good night.
So?
Oh, it's going well.
Ah!
Only one small problem.
Oh, what's that?
The Princess
knows everything.
The masked woman
at the inn was her!
Oh, don't worry 'bout it.
The situation is under control.
So you say!
You know what we get for lying?
Oh, yeah!
Back to our miserable shack
in the woods.
There's just no talking
to you.
You always have to have
the last word.
Yeah, you know it.
Oh, just a few more.
We have to hit the hay.
Tomorrow, we have to
get up early.
We leave for your castle.
Oh no, you're kidding.
You--
Ahh--
You said so yourself:
it is magnificent!
Are you nuts?
An Ogre lives there!
Dahh. Good night!
♪
Whoa! The Queen has one
just like this!
But hers is for
grinding up farmers.
What's that
supposed to mean?
It means that if The Queen
asks a question,
and you don't answer
correctly,
you'll be all chopped up.
Hamburger meat!
Oh, yeah?
Mm-hm.
So, Carabas.
Is this all yours?
No, your Majesty.
Not at all!
We look forward to visiting
your castle.
Whoa, there,
stop the carriage!
DRIVER:
Whoa! Whoa!
Hey, farmer!
Tell me, all this land here:
who's it belong to?
Th-the owner is...
It's the Marquis of Carabas.
And...
He's, he's always owned it.
All right.
Let's continue on the journey!
Carabas, my friend.
You are pleasant.
That's good.
But... watch it.
Tell a lie, The Queen
does not like that, heh!
I don't mind a little hanky
panky now and then.
Fine!
Majesty,
Carabas must hide nothing;
You are The Queen.
Ha! The Queen
of nothing much!
The Queen of bupkus!
(Laughing)
But, oh.
She likes her Carabas.
What do you think,
my princess?
I think the Marquis has
something he wants to tell you.
To confess.
To confess?
Oh? Oh!
What sentimental
words of love?
(Giggling)
You really want to go back
to your castle,
up there
in the mountains?
Oh. What's wrong?
Aren't you dying
to see his castle?
(Banging)
Oi! Who dares disturb me?
(Chuckling)
The Baron of the Gutters,
ambassador for the famous
Marquis of Carabas.
I never heard of him!
PUSS:
I would like to have
the honour
of meeting your master,
a fellow magician.
My master does not need
a wee pussy cat!
So hit the road!
(Hissing)
You're testing me if
you're gonna do that, you cat.
That's enough!
Let me enter!
(Hissing)
(Creaking)
You better behave
or I'll toss you right out!
Enter.
Enter, Mr. Gutters.
Oh, it is a genuine pleasure.
You can't believe
this old cat.
They come to that door and
they tell you all kind of--
Ah!
Come in, please.
♪
Must cost a bundle
to heat this place.
♪
Ohh!
Ooh!
Ahh...
Do you actually live here?
Yes, I do.
Oh! Ugh!
That's horrible!
You don't like it?
A fish!
Ugh! They don't taste
very good.
And besides,
they're slimy and wet. Gross.
I'm not good with water.
Why's that?
Not my thing.
Mm.
(Groaning)
(Chuckling)
(Chuckling)
Hey, stop
the carriage again!
(Honking)
DRIVER:
Whoa!
Tell me, my good
and really large man,
this beautiful forest here:
Who owns this property?
Everything you see here is owned
by the Marquis of Carabas.
Yes, Your Majesty The Queen,
that's right.
Carabas, my good friend,
you're really starting
to grow on me.
Yep!
My dear, woodsman.
Thank you.
Thank you
from the Marquis of Carabas.
It's all right.
Luckily the cat came by
before The Queen arrived.
I guess.
Heh. There you go.
This forest does not
belong to Carabas.
Well, no.
You don't even know
this Carabas!
Well, no.
(Chuckling)
They'll all be toads soon!
(Snoring)
OGRE:
Do you know anything
about swans?
PUSS:
Oh, they're my specialty!
Really?
And you're a magician?
For fun.
I dabble.
And you?
Me?
I get tired.
It's too difficult.
Oh, not possible.
A big, strapping guy
like you? Come on.
Come on, for me?
Just do a little
transformation, please?
(Groaning)
(Groaning)
There, you see that?
That right there
is my problem.
The magic
just doesn't come.
Oh! Hey!
Have you ever tried
turning into a tiny mouse?
Do not take me
for a fool!
A fool-- oh, no, no.
Why don't you turn me
into a swan??
Oh, no, no, no.
Just once.
Oh no, too easy! A swan.
(Scoffing)
But I really want to
be one.
Oh!
I have an idea!
Not a little mouse.
Er... oh!
A little rat!
A little rat?
Oh, you make me furious!
This cat is taking me
for a fool!
Doc Marcel!
(Roaring)
You don't like water,
cat?
Well, I do!
(Playing waltz)
No! No, no, no!
Can't take that song
anymore!
♪
♪
(Exclaiming)
(Creaking)
(Exclaiming)
Oh-ho, Majesty!
QUEEN:
What a castle!
Must cost a bundle
to heat it!
Majesty, there's something
I must to tell you.
(Yelling unintelligibly)
What did he say?
QUEEN:
Apparently,
he doesn't like cats.
You understood?
Who wouldn't?
♪
GUARD:
Master!
People in the castle!
I don't know
what is going on!
Oof!
(Laughing)
Wah!
Ugh...
My good Queen.
Beloved Queen.
Your Majesty,
beloved Majesty!
Uh-oh.
All right,
I'm listening.
I am outraged.
You have been lied to!
(Sobbing)
I present to you
the village millers.
These millers are the brothers
of that young, lying miller
over there!
They are.
And they're great millers.
Huh?
So there!
I'm right, as usual!
I'm right!
Your two brothers are millers
and yet you are a marquis?
No! He's an imposter!
(Laughing)
PUSS, WHISPERING:
Hey. Everything's fine.
Don't worry about it;
I've got the situation
under control.
All right.
Explain yourself, Carabas.
Tell The Queen the truth.
How does a miller's son
like you
come to acquire
a royal castle?
Your Majesty,
when my father died,
my two brothers got the mill
and I, uh...
Ughh!
What a liar! Such a liar!
Horrible liar.
Hamburger meat!
♪
(Manon singing to
"Greensleeves":)
♪ At last, my heart
just split in two ♪
♪ My love has gone ♪
♪ What shall I do? ♪
♪ I stood by him
for eternity ♪
I don't know that one.
It's beautiful.
♪ That man was green
and he filled my heart ♪
I am not crazy.
No, I am not crazy!
♪ Yes, I gave him
my truest love ♪
♪ And inside was the soul
of the kindest dove ♪
Oh, now, now.
Everything's gonna be fine.
It won't!
Everything won't be fine.
(Sobbing)
I wanna be a swan!
That's my dream!
(Sobbing)
Come now.
Let me be of help.
I am Puss 'n Boots,
after all.
You help me, cat?
With your stupid pet tricks?
They're not, pet tricks,
all right?
Hey!
Hey!
Hey...
I wonder who
this swan candy is for?
Is it for you?
Huh?
CHAMBERLAIN:
There's that cat!
There's the cat!
(Ogre giggling)
And there is my ogre!
Ha ha!
I got them!
(Cackling)
PUSS:
Per vitam horribilis ogrum.
Your Gracious Majesty.
I'd like to present the true
master of this castle!
(Cymbal crash)
(Exclaiming)
(Quacking)
Majesty!
Princess!
Welcome to the castle!
All right,
so where's this ogre?
An ogre?
Who saw an ogre?
Mr. Ogre?
There's no ogre.
Not here!
Ah! There's no ogre.
There's nothing.
Who lives here?
The Marquis of...
Carabas!
The Marquis of...
Carabas.
There you go!
Simple as that!
(Quacking)
Okay, so you're a duck!
(Frustrated noise)
Just what I need,
another quack!
But Majesty, stop.
Stop, Majesty!
It's impossible, it's
impossible. There is an ogre.
I know there's an ogre
because he's my ogre!
I gave the magic candy
to the ogre.
I changed all the young men
into toads, me!
That ogre was all mine!
It's my ogre! He is my ogre!
He's here! He's here!
I know he's here!
(Fading into distance:)
Ogre, where are you??
Here, Ogre, Ogre, Ogre!
Bring me the Chamberlain.
Yes!
So.
So.
A good day after all.
Yeah, and a tough one.
But it ended well.
Tell me,
are you a miller
or are you a marquis?
Miller, obviously,
but with a very special cat.
I'm glad that you told me
the truth.
My looking glass
was right, then.
The problem is,
you talk to your looking glass
and that's kind of scary.
Oh, you're always
talking to your cat.
Hey, I'm just lucky;
I got a cat that talks.
You think that's normal?
(Kissing)
Oh!
Oh, Puss 'n Boots,
we are in great danger.
You mean to say,
you are.
Well, yes, I do.
But, it's very serious!
I see!
I want to get out of here!
Help me, my good, brave,
booted Baron!
Hey!
You don't need to
worry like that.
Although I do think
The Queen is looking for you.
I have nothing more
to say to The Queen.
I don't even
know her anymore!
She doesn't believe anything
I say or do!
My dear Puss 'n Boots,
help me!
All right.
I might be able to help you out
this one time, pal.
You're the greatest,
Puss 'n Boots!
Hey, you like toads,
don't you?
I adore toads!
That works out well, then.
Here.
♪ I feel pretty,
oh, so pretty ♪
♪ I feel pretty and witty
and bright ♪
♪ And I pity any girl ♪
♪ Who isn't
me tonight ♪
Oh, she's feeling
very pretty.
♪ I feel charming,
oh, so charming ♪
♪ It's alarming
how charming I feel ♪
♪ And so pretty ♪
♪ that I hardly can believe
I'm real ♪
♪ See the pretty girl
in that mirror there ♪
♪ Who can that
attractive girl be? ♪
(Dinging)
♪ Such a pretty face,
such pretty smile ♪
♪ Such a pretty dress,
such a pretty me! ♪
♪ I feel stunning
and entrancing ♪
♪ Feel like running
and dancing for joy ♪
♪ For I'm loved ♪
♪ By a pretty
wonderful boy ♪
Honestly, what do you see
in that boy?
Oh, he's so nice!
You can't be serious!
You don't marry someone
just 'cause they're nice.
You don't know what it's like
to be in love.
You're not sensible!
Not sensible?
I'm getting married! Me!
(Church bells ringing,
crowd cheering)
Oh, my. Oh, no.
Oh. Thank you-- oh!
Oh, but you are too kind.
No, no, I-- I--
This is amazing.
You are my people.
Oh, oh.
Thank you.
♪ Ave ♪
♪ Maria ♪
♪ Gratia plena ♪
♪ Dominus tecum ♪
♪ Benedicta tu ♪
♪
Hey, my doodle bug.
We're gonna have to
face the facts.
Looks like it's just
you and me now.
(Sighing)
I've got an idea!
Huh?
What if we kept the cat?
Oh, you would make a
great chamberlain!
Oh, no, no, no.
I don't think I'd be good
at that all!
You would!
No way!
But why not?
♪ I'm just a funny Joe ♪
♪ And everywhere I go ♪
♪ People say I'm a drifter ♪
♪ Every day I dance ♪
♪ Looking for romance ♪
♪ Ah, just a prankster ♪
♪ And there will come
a day ♪
♪ When everyone will say ♪
♪ Boy, oh boy,
that I was just a liar ♪
♪ I'm not one
for laying low ♪
♪ I'm a prankster,
now, you know ♪
♪ I got a friend
who's leaving ♪
For you!
(Chuckling)
CHARLES PERRAULT:
And that's the end
of my story.
Puss 'n Boots sure knew
how to tell a tall tale.
No question.
The Princess was beautiful.
And the Prince, well,
he wasn't really a Prince
but just as charming
So...
♪ I'm just a funny Joe ♪
♪ And everywhere I go ♪
♪ People say I'm a drifter ♪
♪ Every day I dance ♪
♪ Looking for romance ♪
♪ Ah, just a prankster ♪
♪ And there will come
a day ♪
♪ When everyone will say ♪
♪ Boy, oh boy,
that I was just a liar ♪
♪ I'm not one
for laying low ♪
♪ I'm a prankster,
now, you know ♪
♪ I got a friend
who's leaving ♪
(Croaking)
(Quacking)
(Chattering)
♪