La segretaria privata di mio padre (1976) - full transcript

A friend of mine used to say,

"Better to be a poor industrialist
than a wealthy worker."

He was a jerk!
Owning a factory is a fine profession,

especially for someone like me
who was very poor as a child.

Why have a factory with 900 workers,

a little house like this,
one step away from Switzerland,

just so I can put some money away,
and even a butler,

when I have an ugly secretary like this?

Let's be logical.

Why conquer wealth and power if
the people in the street don't notice it?

Once upon a time,
the king wore a crown on his head.



War leaders held the baton of command.

People would say,
"Look, that's a powerful man."

Now the presidents of assembly
make do by waving a bell,

but what can we do?

Should I write "I am rich" on my forehead?

Or, "I have capital of 25 billion
all hidden abroad."

That would be dangerous to say.

The only thing that distinguishes
a businessman from ordinary mortals

is a private secretary.
A hottie of a secretary!

One that when you pass her people say,
"Look at that. I'll be damned!"

Now you will say,

"What are you waiting for,
why don't you get a secretary like this?"

You don't know my wife!

-Married?
-No.



What are you waiting for?

-They all run away.
-Good.

-Engaged?
-No.

-Engaged?
-Yes.

Good. Do you like men a lot?

-For goodness’ sake! No.
-Good thing.

Amelia, they're hired.

-Very good.
-Take down their details.

Sir, at five o'clock you have
an appointment with the Germans.

All right.

-Are you happy now?
-Yes.

We've got a museum of horrors.

Don't exaggerate!

Mingozzi, apart from this,
why did you call me here?

Yes, of course, sir.

These products will subvert
the cosmetics market.

Faces will be more beautiful,
even when they're old,

with the Ponziani company's products.

It has to be said
that they work well on our employees.

Behave, those ones need surgery,
not a cream!

Very funny.
Mingozzi, don't use them on our workers.

They are fine just how they are.

-Franco gave me an idea.
-What idea?

Tell me.

Photograph all our little monsters

for the biggest fashion magazines
with writing here,

"They are like this because they
did not use Ponziani's products."

Brilliant, sir! It's brilliant, sir!

Behave, take it easy with these spankings
because they'll give me pleurisy!

-Sir--
-Come on, Franchino. Come on, Cicci.

-Let's go.
-Come on, time is money!

-Please, Mingozzi...
-Yes?

Are you sure that all these girls
have proven to be moral?

I couldn't find any uglier ones than them.
They're almost all still virgins.

Sometimes that doesn't mean much,
so it's not important.

Coming! Excuse me.

I'm coming! One moment.

Who is that? I would like to know.

-I would also like to know.
-You see...

That's my fiancée.

I didn't think she would get here so soon.

Mingozzi has got himself a girlfriend!

She's beautiful as well.
Introduce her to us.

She's a little shy.

Mingozzi, are you afraid
that we're gonna eat her?

Go and get her.

My dear, you're in a hurry
because of the Germans!

The Germans can wait!

Luisa, I'd like to introduce you to them.
Just a minute.

-Right now? No.
-Please.

Let's go!
If she doesn't want to come, let's go.

You are always in the forefront.

The woman that got out of that car

would change our whole family life.

My fiancée. Miss Luisa, Mrs. Ponziani.

-My pleasure.
-How do you do?

-Excuse me.
-Excuse me.

Now the most important person.

Sir, let me introduce you
to my girlfriend, Miss Luisa.

-Mr. Ponziani.
-Pleased to meet you, I am honored.

-My pleasure.
-I am deeply--

I am Franco, the son.

Excuse me, if I may, I...

-She's very shy.
-She was raised by nuns.

You know what I mean.

There aren't many like that.

She's delightful!
She can do so many things.

She can type,
she can write in shorthand.

-She speaks every language.
-Maybe she can read too!

-Let's go, it's hot!
-Let's go, that'd be best.

-Mingozzi, I trust you.
-Thank you.

-Wake up, Franco!
-Let's go!

-Try the new products.
-Don't worry.

-Be good.
-Greetings, madam.

-Congratulations on the girlfriend.
-Thank you.

Nice little jewel.

Beautiful girl, isn't she?

-Who?
-Mingozzi's girlfriend.

-A little thin!
-She's falsely skinny.

-Skinny and false, that is, a liar.
-Lies have short legs.

Instead, that one had a pair of legs
that if Amelia had--

-She would lose her place.
-Amelia, did you hear that?

A beautiful girl,
but what hope could I have?

Apart from my wife,
who is my natural enemy,

there was my son who was
already beginning to get excited.

Now, children are unpredictable.

Especially if they keep bad company.

You're here!
You Milanese people always take it easy.

You're never on time.
See what time it is?

-Is it late?
-Yes.

-Oscar!
-Yes, Dad.

-Those deliveries?
-I'm going.

-You didn't take the list. Fuck you!
-I've heard that one before.

-If you had, you'd know what to do.
-I'll go with him.

Goodbye!

That evening I should have...

I've had some experiences,
making all these home deliveries.

I could write a psychology essay.

Once, I had my pants unbuttoned.

-Sounds like a fortune teller's job.
-Fortune teller?

Before you pick the fruit, you have to
put the ladder against the tree!

I don't understand you.
Are we going to fuck or pick apricots?

Do you understand what
my pig son was going to do?

A man has his own needs.

In order to escape from my wife,

I came up with fake business trips.

You don't like that?

You can tell
from a distance that it's fake.

It's an anti-snatch necklace,
in these times we live in...

Sure. Why don't you give it to your wife?

-She doesn't wear this stuff.
-Yeah, she wears pants.

When a wife puts pants on in the house,
the husband takes them off elsewhere.

Yes, but not for a pound of candy!

Love, why don't you bring me
a real jewel?

I'd put it in the bank
and I'd be happy all the same.

So sweet! She's content with nothing,
my big Swedish girl.

Beautiful! So beautiful, long, straight.
You look like a two-lane highway.

This is a fabulous Swede.

She's lived here three months
and she's driven everyone crazy.

She ordered white wine and champagne,
she's a fancy slut.

Give me the number. Ouch!

How do you say
"I love you so much, my love" in Swedish?

Tell me again!

What a combination!

Phone. Go answer it.

Go answer it, then come back here.

-Hello?
-Mrs. Ingrid?

-Yes. Who are you?
-I'm the vintner.

-I have to make an urgent delivery.
-Right now?

-Are you alone?
-Yes, I'm alone.

That's not a problem.

I'll come over then. I'll be right there.

-Did she say yes?
-Go!

-Who was it?
-Wrong number.

Wrong number? Why were you
being so relaxed with a wrong number?

-I am jealous!
-Stupid and stingy.

Stingy!
I have a golden pendant ready for you.

I'll give it to you tonight at three,
okay?

Yes.

I'm going to take a shower.

Then big cat and kitty make love.

-Are you happy?
-Yes.

She said it again!

How have I managed to stay
away from Sweden for so long?

Gothenburg, Copenhagen...

Long live reindeers, and Gustavus
who married a bourgeois wife.

They are all intelligent in that country.

Gustavus!

I'm sorry, but I have to go.
Even if it's not my turn.

-Oscar, I'll give you 10,000 lira.
-No, forget it.

-Twenty! I'll give you twenty.
-Twenty.

-Look.
-All right. I'll do it for 20.

-Where are you going?
-I have to go up.

-I gave you 20,000!
-For that, I'll tell you about her.

May I?

May I?

The wine man has arrived. It's me.

You're getting ready, aren't you?
My slut, wait for me. I'm coming.

Wait for me.

-Oh God!
-Oh God!

-I've stared death in the face.
-So have I.

-What are you doing there naked?
-I brought champagne.

You brought champagne? A modern vintner!

He brought the champagne naked!
What are you doing here?

I thought I was in the military district.

Get out of here,
tapeworm, lactic fermentation!

-Go away!
-Damn, I shouldn't have come here.

-I'll beat myself up.
-Get out of here.

-I'm leaving!
-I'll break your femur.

-What is it? I heard voices.
-You heard shouting!

You get your champagne
from a vintner who...

-He was almost naked!
-Naked...

-I mean...
-He must be in love with me.

They like me, it's not my fault.

I'll make you put an alarm on your pussy.

I bought champagne
to celebrate the new house.

Do you want to celebrate? Come.

Yes.

-Bring the champagne.
-Yes, so we can take a bath!

-Oh my God!
-Get dressed!

-Damn...
-Are you done yet?

The pimp came in and I had to run away!

I'll get dressed right away.

I am giving you a ticket
because this is a no parking area.

Parking ticket? She didn't even see me!

The days went by rather stupidly
and the private secretary

continued to be a dream.

But one evening, fortunately,
we had some misfortune.

Let's go, otherwise we'll be late.
Go faster!

-Fast in this fog?
-Yes, the arena won't wait.

-We'll miss the first song.
-I'll sing it for you.

If I were that warrior
If my dream would come true

An army of fags led by me!

Not faggots, valiants!
What do fags have to do with it?

They are the valiants of our time.

-Well said, Amelia.
-Come on, we're going to be late!

Is that a truck or a tunnel?

It's a truck!

-How did this happen?
-How did it happen?

Ask your father. He started
singing in the middle of the fog.

-What did he sing?
-The Aida. He can't even sing it!

-How did it happen?
-Blame Radames!

-How are you?
-I'm full of chalk!

I am semi-paralyzed, I can't even pee.

It could have been worse, sir.

-Did you want it to get cut off?
-No, not at all.

It's all your mom's fault,
she wanted to go to Verona in the fog

to see what was happening in Egypt
at the time of the "pharanohns".

Pharaohs, sir.

-I know, even I went to college.
-Did you?

-What branch?
-I'm not a gorilla!

I had a desk like everyone else.

Hello? Not this one.

I immediately knew it was that one!
Yes, it's me! Who is it?

From Germany, written in German?

Amelia is more dead than alive.

Call later. Go. Bye.

-Hang up.
-Yes, right away, sir.

Now we are screwed.

Amelia's stuck in the hospital and
I don't know how to translate that letter.

Look for another one.

Where do I find someone
with Amelia's experience?

There are better secretaries
and more beautiful ones.

-Mingozzi.
-Yes, sir.

What is the name of
that big piece of... girlfriend?

-Mine?
-Yes, yours.

-Luisa.
-Luisa!

As of tomorrow
she will be my personal secretary.

-I don't think so--
-There'll be no discussion.

-Otherwise I'll be upset.
-I don't think Luisa can.

She lives with her aunt
30 kilometers away.

She lives 30 kilometers away!

We have guest rooms. We have 32.

-There's the bathroom, the walk-in closet.
-Really?

She'll be right at home,
even better, it'll be like a hotel.

Ernesta!

Here's the cat and the fox.

-Always listening behind doors.
-You bloody--

You have to prepare
a room for our guests.

-Who is coming?
-What do you care?

-We have decided on this.
-Ernesta, don't ask those questions.

Miss Luisa is coming to stay,
our dear Mingozzi's girlfriend.

As of tomorrow, she will be my
personal secretary. Is that okay?

And the lady?

Fortunately, the lady is stuck
in her bedroom.

She doesn't need to know.
Do I make myself clear?

I understand.

She has a big mouth
and talks about everybody's business.

Dear Dr. Mingozzi,

I have no words to thank you
for your cooperation.

Sir, I only hope
that my Luisa satisfies you.

I hope so too.

You have been painting
this pipe for two days!

Are you doing Michelangelo's Pietà?

My employer
doesn't want to see you anymore.

I don't care about him.
For me, he can go and do...

This one's looking for me for sure.
Holy Virgin! Who is she?

-Good morning!
-Good morning.

Tell me.

I am the new secretary of Mr. Ponziani.

His new secretary?
It is not possible!

Is this Villa Ponziani?

Yes, it is Villa Ponziani.

You are the new secretary.
What happened to the others?

-Please come in.
-Thank you.

I'll lead the way.

-The suitcase!
-She has the suitcase!

-You take it.
-Go fuck yourself!

-These workers are always talking.
-Thank you.

-Just straight?
-Modestly speaking, just straight.

-Mr. Ponziani is sick.
-What happened to him?

-He's like this.
-A rally?

No, a car accident, he broke his arm.

-Poor guy, I'm sorry.
-Poor man.

-The lady?
-She's like this, with a broken leg.

The same car accident.

Come! Your room is on the second floor.
I'll take your suitcase to your room.

-Do you like it?
-Yes, very much.

This is all plaster.

Mr. and Mrs. Ponziani,
the house, there's plaster everywhere!

Come in!

-Good morning, sir.
-Miss Luisa!

Come in. Excuse me for receiving you
so modestly in this place of pain.

It was kind of you to rush here.

I tried to come as soon as possible.

-How are you?
-Good, great, perfect.

What do you mean?

So to speak!
Look at what happened to me.

What sensitivity!
You brought me flowers.

Actually, these are for your wife.
I'd like to go and say hello to her.

No, she is allergic to flowers,
to everything, even plaster now.

She has red spots, she drools.

I'm sorry.
I could bring her some chocolates.

No, because my lady has blind bowels

that are also deaf!

-Where do I put them?
-Here. It's water!

-Here?
-Yes, so we can use the scaffolding!

That's a great idea, isn't it?

All this white plaster
and not even one little signature?

It brings good luck!

-Really?
-Yes.

-May I have the honor?
-Me?

Please. No!

-A little further down, lower down.
-Here?

-Bend down a little bit.
-Like this?

-Bend down, downward.
-Is this okay here?

-Virgin Mary!
-Did I hurt you?

No, I was saying
that Our Lady is my witness

of how proud I am to have you
at my side, Miss Luisa.

To have you at my side
with all your experience.

Right...

-Should we start right away?
-Yes.

Where is my place?

I thought...

That's the desk, that's the typewriter.

That...

Good girl, how well she sits!

From that moment on, a close fight began
between my fiercest rivals.

-Is the first half over?
-But what do you want?

-I need to pass.
-Pass!

It's 9:00,
don't you have to go to college?

-Mind your own business.
-What an ass. He'll never get his degree!

Following your request...

we inform you that the bisulfite
will be sent within...

-Giuseppe!
-I was asking if the chair was free.

-Get up, gorilla!
-I brought the tea.

I don't want it!
Bring me and the young lady some coffee.

Giuseppe! The flowers.

-Why did you bother?
-Take the flowers away!

-I thought...
-The tray!

Excuse me, sir, but I only have two hands!

-Sorry.
-Giuseppe, the flowers. Here!

-Dumbass!
-Right away.

-Quickly! Two coffees.
-How beautiful she is!

I'm telling you the truth, madam.

She's ugly, unpleasant.

-Like Amelia?
-Worse.

Amelia at least is nice,
but this one is a monster.

Two stubby legs.

As you well know, the openings--

Closings within foreign markets
in the last two months have...

What are you doing?

Nothing. I was looking
at myself in the mirror.

-A baboon face!
-Why won't they let me see her?

She came to meet you,
but you were asleep.

He's sent her to run an errand now.

Of course! He doesn't like her
so he gets her out of his way, that pig!

It has to be her and he can't change her.
You have to tell me.

Do not doubt it, madam.

-Would you like some orange juice?
-No. Go see what she's doing.

So thanks to Ernesta's faithfulness,

my wife did not suspect
the show I was enjoying

two steps away from her.
But the difficulties were not over.

As soon as the word was out,
I had to deal with the factory.

Thank you.

You are very kind to visit me.

This testifies to
the spirit of our company.

Thank you. Luisa, cigarettes, please.

Now, I beg you...

to give my regards
to the council of the factory and...

Tell them that I hope
to show up as soon as possible,

even though I still have this cast.

-Good morning, sir.
-Good morning.

-Good morning, sir.
-Good morning.

-Good morning, sir.
-Good morning.

-Good morning, sir.
-Good morning.

-You look very good.
-Good morning.

-What beautiful legs!
-Good morning.

-Looking good, sir!
-You're getting better every day.

Congratulations, sir!

Congratulations, sir!

-How beautiful you are today.
-Good morning.

It's nice to feel so loved
by my employees.

-Good morning, sir.
-How good you look!

-Really good!
-Congratulations.

-What lips, sir!
-What a beautiful complexion.

You're stunning today, sir!

How are you feeling today, sir?

I had just saved myself
from the attack of the masses

and already another battle was looming.

But what do you do to a son,
do you fire him?

Do you lay him off?

A son is a son,
he's the most difficult of enemies!

Especially because,
in almost all cases, he's your blood!

Pheasant.

Be good.

Vegetable soup for you,
like the doctor said.

Giuseppe, you can leave.

-We'll do it.
-Enjoy your meal.

-Help yourself, Luisa.
-Thank you.

-You look very good this evening.
-Really?

Yes.

The pill for your ruined liver!

I bet that outside
the stars are out tonight.

Why?

Because it's an important night for me.

How nice!

It's nice to discover
that there are still romantic people.

Laxative pills to go...

-Luisa, are you comfortable with us?
-Yes, very.

Your father is always so nice, kind.

Yes, he's kind, he's cute, he's good.

A little old-fashioned, a bit mummified.

The mummy is here, living.

-What a surprise, Dad! Hi.
-Good evening, sir.

I took the liberty of inviting Miss Luisa
because she always eats alone.

What a good boy!
Full of initiative, like his daddy.

How does that Latin stuff go?
"Talis pater, talis filius."

You're not watching cartoons?

Why do you treat me like an imbecile?

Why do you always treat me
like an asshole?

Excuse me, Luisa.

-Have a nice dinner.
-Have a good evening.

-The pills!
-Give them to Daddy!

He has no experience.
I even went on a safari once.

Miss Luisa, do you like candles?

-Yes, very much.
-Giuseppe, bring some champagne.

They're young,
they don't know how to live.

Caviar, champagne...

Hi, honey.
Yes, everything went very well.

Ponziani is kind, but very naive.

There are no problems.

Remember, Luisa,
I have to be the director of the factory.

Understood?

-I'm tired of being an employee.
-Of course, darling! Good night.

-Yes?
-Miss Luisa.

It's me, sorry for the late hour
and the impudence.

In a short while
I'm going to get a call back from America.

-Could you come here to translate?
-Sure, I'll be right over.

Thank you, Miss Luisa.

Come in!

Thank you.

Thank you, Miss Luisa,
for coming right away.

The Americans said that they
would call back in a few minutes.

Don't worry, that's why I'm here.

So nice!

-Does it hurt?
-What pain!

-Does it hurt a lot?
-It's the position.

-Don't think about it.
-Can you help me get up?

-Of course!
-If I pull myself up, it's better.

-Yes.
-Tell me...

-Give me a hand.
-Yes, all right.

-Here.
-Get it right.

-Hang on to me.
-I'm hanging on!

-One moment.
-Like Romulus and Remus!

-I feel like a little wolf.
-I've lost my balance.

I lost my balance too.

-Dad, may I?
-It's Franco.

-Dad!
-It's Franco.

I wouldn't want him to think
that the two of us...

-Quick, go to the bathroom.
-Yes, I'm going to the bathroom.

-One moment. The book.
-The notebook!

Go. Hide yourself.

Come in!

Dad.

I wanted to apologize
for tonight at dinner.

I let myself go.

It's normal for a father and son to argue.

Anyway, it's late, go to bed. Good night.

-Since when do you wear perfume?
-Perfume?

What the heck? You want me to put oil on?

I'm all plastered up,
I sweat and put on some perfume.

-Has Miss Luisa been here?
-Miss Luisa!

Are you crazy? She's been asleep
for who knows how many hours.

She's young, she sleeps a lot.

-Is that leg yours?
-The one with the cast...

-Which leg?
-Miss Luisa, come out.

I saw you.

Look who's there!

I was hiding in there.

Not hiding.
It was America, in the bathroom.

-Sorry.
-Truly original!

Yes, America... Franco!

Don't get the wrong idea.

Above all, I forbid you to doubt
Miss Luisa's honesty.

Poor thing. Miss, thank you. You can go.

-Good.
-Thank you.

If the Americans call,
I'll tell them to fuck off.

-Yes. Good night.
-Good night.

-Bye.
-Bye.

Ersilia, you gave birth
to a son of a bitch!

I'm sorry if you think worse of me.

-Appearances can be deceiving.
-I hope so, for your sake.

-And for mine too.
-What does that mean?

Yes?

Tell that asshole son of mine
to go away and leave you alone.

Yes, don't worry about it.

-Good night.
-Good night.

Good night, Franco.
Close the door, please.

Good night.

This secretary
was becoming public property.

Even Giuseppe,
driven by jealousy, took the initiative.

-Did you knock?
-Yes. Mr. Ponziani?

-He's not receiving guests.
-I have to see him!

-It's very important.
-He has a cast. He can't walk.

I don't want to walk with him,
I just want to talk to him.

That's not possible.

I've come from Germany
to negotiate a big deal.

Please, let me in.

Deal or no deal, no deal!
It's the boss' orders.

No deal, I won't let you pass.

-You are a big asshole!
-Fucking stinker!

If you open the gate,
I'll kick your ass, you understand?

What should we do with these Germans
who don't understand Italian?

He must be a son of the SS. Definitely.

-You woke up.
-Good morning, Franco.

-I've been waiting for you.
-Why?

I'm doing a translation and there is
one word that I don't understand.

I'll help you.

-I can't get past it.
-What?

-Here, on the third line.
-Let's see.

This word means "stove".

It's followed by this word
which means "paint".

I would say "fire-resistant paint".

That's right, how silly!

What subject is it on?

-Industrial chemistry.
-Nice!

You're following
in your father's footsteps.

Yes... the factory is important.

I wouldn't want it
to end up in foreign hands.

So I study its specific subject matter.

That's right, I didn't think of that.
That's right.

-It's late! Bye, Franco.
-Luisa!

Yes?

-You called me by name.
-Really?

It's time to be less formal,
we are old friends. Bye.

Excuse me, you can come
whenever you want, don't worry.

The help isn't very good,
I have imbeciles here with me!

It's really like that.

Yes, whenever you want.
Sorry again. Goodbye. Thank you.

Neapolitans are all intelligent.

Of course!
The Neapolitan belongs to history.

There have been great men
and they are great men.

-Them.
-I'm not Neapolitan?

What are you doing?

You sent a client away
who's worth 600 million a year!

-The German guy?
-Yes.

-He offended me.
-Did he offend you?

Yes. He had it written down,
he must have had it printed.

-He said, "You big asshole."
-He said that to you?

-He didn't have to say that.
-I would give you a kiss.

"Atlantic shit" he'd say to you.
You sent away a customer like that!

He didn't say "Atlantic shit".
Maybe he didn't have it written down.

-Coward!
-Sir, you're hurting me!

-My arm!
-Wait.

-I can't move!
-Good morning, sir.

Welcome, Miss Luisa. At last!

Let's try to get on the same page.
Work is work.

You were supposed to be here
at nine o'clock and it's 10:15.

-I'm sorry, it won't happen again.
-Okay.

-Go over there and bring us two coffees.
-No, thank you.

-One?
-I told you two coffees!

You're already nervous,
if you have two coffees you'll go crazy!

Are you offended? Excuse me.

I'm sorry, I can't take it anymore.
Between him and this bed...

-I can't move anymore!
-You could use a wheelchair.

-It's more practical.
-Yes, that's a good idea.

It is a nice idea
from an efficient secretary!

-I'll get one right away.
-I can take care of it.

-You will have it by the morning.
-You take care of it.

Indeed.

Sir, if I may,
I wanted to ask you if I can have

the afternoon off. At five o'clock
my fiancé's coming to pick me up.

Yes, of course, the boyfriend.

Love has its rights. All right.

One hour late this morning,
the afternoon off.

If you want tomorrow off, let me know.

-Just kidding.
-Thank you, sir.

Marletti placed an order with us.

Hello? Mingozzi, it's Franco.

I have a message from Luisa for you.

She begged me to tell you
not to come and pick her up today,

because she has a meeting,
an important business appointment.

Thank you. Goodbye!

How wonderful!

Four gears, reverse gear.
Half pirouettes, full pirouettes!

My secretary got it for me
in less than an hour.

About your secretary,

when are you going to
introduce me to this miraculous lady?

-The secretary?
-Yes.

-She is a shock!
-What do you mean?

-She's a beauty!
-A beauty?

-It's a monster.
-A beauty in her ugliness.

-Tell her about the legs.
-The legs?

-Just two legs.
-Two?

-Two, but you have to see them.
-One here and one there.

-They're crooked.
-They're twisted!

I want it here in the morning,
no matter what.

She wants to see her tomorrow morning.

-We will bring her here!
-Walk!

Open the door. Parasite, walk.

Open the door. Move.

-Move!
-You'll run me over!

Come here!

-Push!
-I'm pushing.

Did you cover up
the company's name on the van?

Yes. Why do you want to be Perry Mason?

I want to see
where Mingozzi takes Luisa.

That pig is capable
of taking her to a cheap inn.

If you were engaged to Luisa,
where would you take her?

-To the grand hotel!
-How would we do that?

-They wouldn't let us in.
-Push!

Just a moment.

The leg!

Come on, you moron.
Take my leg off the seat.

Hi! What a beautiful bike!

-Do you like it?
-Yes.

Giuseppe, look. It's my son, not Mingozzi!

-Are you coming for a ride?
-Thanks, but I can't.

I'm waiting for my boyfriend.
He's late, he's usually on time.

-Are you worried?
-A little bit.

I phoned Mingozzi
and told him not to come.

Why?

I hoped that if he didn't come
you would come with me for a ride.

Franco, couldn't you have just asked me?

-Would you have come?
-Sure.

Why not? Now, because of you,
I have the afternoon free.

-Where are you taking me?
-You'll see.

Flesh of my flesh!

-Giuseppe!
-Get your arm off me.

-Fly!
-One moment!

-There you go.
-Go!

-What are you doing? You're honking?
-I have to warn them or they'll go.

-Delinquent!
-Don't get angry!

-Let's start the trip right!
-Go.

He's going slow,
he's taking a romantic ride.

This thing looks like a tank!

You're talking about him,
I thought you meant me! I got it.

-Look how beautiful the lake is
-Shut up, you ignoramus.

It inspires so much feeling

A little respect for my state of mind.

It's not a disgrace.

-They are young, let them be.
-I'm not paying you!

-I don't see them.
-They'll be further ahead.

If you don't find them,
I'll throw you in the lake!

-What are you doing?
-They make roads that end up like this!

-I had to stop earlier.
-Your father had to stop first.

What does this have to do with
my father? He didn't drive!

-Do I go around the house?
-Back up. Forward.

Do I go forward or do I back up?
Do I go forward or backward?

-Back up. Forward.
-I'm going backwards!

Back up! Forward.

Holy Virgin!

-I have to go backwards.
-Go back.

-Go!
-This is private property.

I don't care about private property.
Buy everything!

-If they sell it.
-Watch out on the right.

It's so beautiful here! It's gorgeous.

-What is this pond called?
-This pond?

It's called...

-I don't know.
-I guess it has a name.

Of course it has a name,
but I can't remember it.

-Faster! Change gear.
-We will die!

-Do you think we'll find them?
-Sure. I know my son well.

Luisa, I would like to talk to you.

-Go on.
-Yes, you don't have to be afraid.

I'll sit further back, look.

Holy cow!

Laugh! Who brings these beasts
to this meadow?

Sorry, Franco, it can happen.

Your hand as well.

Is this a funeral?

-Easy.
-Go, like this.

I don't know this road.
What do you want from me?

Stop!

Why did you get out? We're not there yet.

Here. If you turn around, I'll change.

Oh God!

-Dad, where are you going?
-To take a bath, asshole.

Oh God!

-My God!
-Sir!

-A bath is not good for you.
-Giuseppe!

Go, I'll take care of it.
Giuseppe is here.

-How is the water?
-Shitty, like your brain!

Shall I get a bathrobe
or some toilet paper?

Wretched soul!

-Find someone to get me out.
-I'll take care of it.

The cast is melting. Quick, do something.

I'll get a bathrobe,
some baby powder and make a nice rub.

Delinquent, do something.

Don't move.
If you find a half-pound fish--

-I'll put it in your ass.
-All right. Stay there, don't move.

Hurry up, the plaster will melt. Be quick.

Here, Mingozzi lives here.
I hope I find him.

Thank you for the nice walk.

-Aside...
-What?

Except for the ending.
I'm sorry about your father.

-I didn't think he was so jealous of you.
-Why are you sorry?

Don't get me wrong,
it's for professional reasons,

but it'd be better if we
don't act too friendly in front of him.

Don't worry,
your father isn't here now. Bye.

Bye.

What are you doing?

-What is it?
-Did she rip your pants?

Oscar, I beg you, don't break my balls.

Are you sure she left you them? Check!

-What can we do?
-Stop, knock it off.

Stop it, one day or another
I'll blow my balls off,

turn this house into a club,
and move to Brazil.

Take it easy, Armandino.

Knock it off with that "Armandino" too.
I am Armandone, a big asshole.

My wife takes advantage of it
and orders me around.

-Relax.
-Hi, Dad, how are you?

-What happened?
-What faces! What happened?

-Ask your mother.
-She has her reasons.

What happened?

She wants to see
the new secretary tomorrow.

So?

Are you telling me...

Can you imagine
what'll happen if she sees Luisa?

She forced me to fill
the factory up with monsters

and now it looks like a horror house!

What are you chewing on?

Chew on your testicles,
because she will ruin everything.

Let's find a solution.

There's no time. She wants to see her
tomorrow morning at 9:00.

-She will see her.
-How?

Where are all the ugly women?
There aren't any anymore.

-We found the last ones--
-Don't overexaggerate.

-She's the only one left.
-Don't overexaggerate.

-I'll find one for you by tonight.
-Franco.

Your daddy says,
if you solve this situation for me,

I'll forgive you for everything.

-Everything, Franco.
-Everything?

-Everything.
-Don't worry about it.

-You know, sometimes--
-It's just that you have to pay her.

-One hundred thousand lira.
-What?

So, in front of a greater enemy,
my rival became an ally.

It cost me a hundred,
but that's quite natural for a son.

What does she look like?

I've been trying to understand for three
days, but no one will explain it to me.

Yes, I know.

But it's such a thing... We'll see it.

-You haven't seen her?
-Yes, but briefly.

-Without stopping--
-Tall or short? Brunette or blonde?

I saw her once and she was short,
then I saw her again and she was tall.

How? She's either tall or short.

-They grow when they've got heels on.
-Does she wear heels?

-I think so.
-"I think"?

She's got two feet,
I don't know what she wears.

-She's got two... What are they?
-Breasts.

-Breasts. Back--
-Never mind.

She has got a "never mind"!
I don't know what else she's got.

-No one can tell me what she looks like!
-Why do I have to tell you?

-You must have seen her.
-Can I tell the truth?

-That's what I want.
-She's a piece of crap.

-I said it.
-Here's Armando.

It's 9:15
and there's no news on the secretary.

-Where is she?
-We're waiting for Franco.

-What about Franco?
-What about him...

-It had broken down...
-The ambulance.

-Yes.
-The ambulance?

The secretary's car!
He went to pick her up.

-Are both of you here?
-There he is.

-Miss Luisa, come.
-Let her in.

Come, Miss Luisa.

Good morning.

-Giuseppe, do you feel ill?
-No.

Good morning, cutie. So to speak.

Come in, don't be afraid.

-Not too much though.
-Come on.

That's too much.
Would you bring Frankenstein for 500,000?

They all say
that you are a monster... of skill.

Haven't we already seen each other?

-Isn't she your secretary?
-Exactly.

She's my secretary, I was joking.
I just threw it out there.

-It was better to throw it out here.
-He's always joking.

-Do you know all the languages?
-All of them.

-She is a devil.
-French.

-You said that earlier on the phone.
-English.

German.

She has to go now,
she has work to do in the office.

-Can I say one thing?
-Again? Yes, quickly.

Madam, you are beautiful.

Can I give you a kiss?

All right, but quickly.

On the cheek. Quick.

-Go, dear.
-Not me!

Come on, to the office.
Then I'll come over. Happy?

Yes, maybe too much.

Giuseppe...
you know, I've just seen death.

-Are you not okay with that?
-Yes, good.

-I don't understand the kiss.
-That was part of the act.

-I really like her.
-She's my mother.

What did I say? She's beautiful.

-I have to tell you something.
-What?

-I'll tell you in private.
-Let's go to my room.

-What do you want to do to me?
-Idiot, stop it.

-Hi.
-Good morning. Let me introduce...

-a relative of ours.
-My pleasure.

Luisa. We have the same name.
Shall we celebrate?

Nice. Best wishes.

You've kissed everyone except the maid!

Well, well...

So what is it that you wanted to tell me?

Wait.

Are your father and mother in love?

Does your father
go out to work often enough?

What do you care?

Do you remember that day with the Swede?

Yes, so?

Your father was the pimp.

-My father? Are you crazy?
-Either the pimp or the lover.

-And you're telling me this now?
-I've seen him now.

Shut up, let me listen,
it's the same line.

-Hello, who is this?
-It's Ingrid.

Good morning, Doctor.

-You used to call me pussycat.
-I can't now.

I get it, the witch is nearby.

No, I'm working.

I can imagine how much work you do.

You don't move in bed either.
You let me do everything.

By the way,
what happened to my monthly payment?

Doctor, I'm immobilized here in plaster.

I can't move.
I had to learn yoga just to blow my nose.

My love, that's your problem.

I am out of money.
Please, send someone right away.

How do I do that? I don't know.

-When are you sending them?
-Doctor, is tonight okay?

-Perfect.
-I'll send you Giuseppe.

-All right.
-Goodbye.

The insurance company?

-This story will come in handy.
-If you say so.

Let's continue. Dearest engineer,

as you fully understand,

our company is not in a condition...

Miss, what's going on?

Excuse me, sir.

I have some explaining to do.

For the field trip with Franco.

Don't worry, maybe it's right.

Am I right? Among young people...

-It's not that.
-You are trying to tell me...

-You'll think worse of me.
-You and my son Franco...

-No, worse.
-Oh Lord! With Giuseppe?

-Worse.
-With the gardener?

Sir, you would never guess.

-I didn't go to catholic school.
-That's an advantage.

-Mingozzi made it up.
-Mingozzi?

Yes, my boyfriend.

He wanted me to be your mistress.

How? Him-- His girlfriend.

A flower like you with me?

Yes, he wants to be
the director of the factory

and he thought that once the two of us...

Dirty, ancient Roman
and a manager by vocation!

-Are you serious?
-Of course. You see...

If you get him to come over today,
you'll see.

He shows me off.

Poor Luisa, you're in the wrong hands!

Do you think that a boyfriend
should behave like that?

Call him, have him come over here,
you'll see, I'll make him mend his ways.

Thank you, sir.

Honey. Hi.

A fabulous opportunity.
Ponziani is going to bring you in today.

I think it's time for the sunscreen game.

Mingozzi,
I have a 30-year reputation to defend.

If I write bronze, it has to be bronze.

It will be bronze,
I'll show you right now.

Luisa. Hold on.

Come, just a moment.

I'll show you right away.

-Come on, your leg.
-Do you want to see?

Sure.

You only need a little.

-I'll do it myself.
-Hands off.

Please.

Can you see it okay?

Look. Higher, on the whitest parts too.

-Yes.
-Right, sir?

If not, the stains last.

How good Luisa is.

-How nice she is. Is this okay?
-Even down there.

Hello, Dad.

We are working.

-I see.
-I think that might be enough.

You don't want
to just have one tanned leg.

-Yeah, maybe.
-Well...

Now's not the time.

-If it's for my sake, it doesn't matter.
-Bravo, bye.

-Goodbye.
-Goodbye.

-Go. Time is money.
-Listen. I have a wonderful idea.

A woman in a bikini
under a beach umbrella.

-A beautiful body.
-Coffee.

-In my wheelchair?
-I wanted to try the electric chair.

You should be finished,
right there, with flowers on your chest.

At least I wouldn't
have to see you anymore.

Take the coffee away.

-All right, don't get mad.
-Get out the wheelchair and go.

All right, I'll park it.

-May I? I have a wonderful idea.
-Another one?

One moment. Luisa.

Would you like to be on a poster?

-I would have to think about it.
-She needs to think about it.

Why? Luck like this
doesn't happen every day.

You tell her.

-You're going to be famous.
-What do you say?

Sure, a sensational idea.

He knows about it, he has ears. Ears...

There...

-Like this.
-It's a wonderful tanning cream.

-It's a wonderful product.
-Is this okay?

-Divine.
-It makes the skin soft.

-Look, it's wonderful.
-It's fine.

That's going too far,
I'm not going any further.

It's not me pushing, it's Giuseppe.

Giuseppe? Are you there? Go away!

-I brought coffee.
-I don't want it.

Now let's do some without a bra.

-The bra...
-We take it off.

-That seems excessive.
-No, for the international market.

In Saint-Tropez women sunbathe naked.

-Naked?
-Yes.

Take it off. It's for export, Luisa.

Here's the cream.

-Is this okay?
-Yes.

Miss Luisa, I am touched.

What you are doing for the company
is truly wonderful.

Yes, just like that, beautiful!

Imagine the men when they see you.

-Pass the ball.
-We're on our own.

One moment, dear,
now the necklace, here.

Now we'll do one with an inviting look.

-All right, sir?
-Yes.

-Thank you.
-Giuseppe, what about the cream?

I would put chocolate on too.

Change, let's take
some nice pictures on the green.

-This one?
-Yes.

-Don't look.
-Whatever.

Do not be ashamed, Luisa, he is gay.

-Franco, open the window. It's too hot.
-Yes.

-Here you go.
-Thank you.

-What is it?
-There.

-A naked woman!
-There is no naked woman.

No? I thought so, I'm going crazy.

-I'm going crazy.
-You're not the only one.

-No?
-No.

-Good morning.
-Good morning, Ernesta.

There it is again.
-What?

Do you see anything in the mirror?

-No.
-Ernesta, a handkerchief.

Yes, madam.

Again!

-What?
-It was a dream.

Ernesta.

We agree.

What if we made one a little spicier?

-Spicy?
-Yes, natural.

-Without--
-Without the panties.

For overseas, let's do it.

-For abroad.
-You've hit rock bottom, you suck.

-It's advertising.
-Go away.

-For the company.
-Go away.

-Have patience.
-Go away!

-You're fired!
-You misunderstand.

Go away!

Bravo. May I?

-Take the car and go.
-I have the film in it.

You can develop it in the darkroom.
Don't you dare.

-Bravo.
-Thank you.

Get dressed, Luisa. Did you see that?

I have removed that shady figure.
From now on you won't have to worry.

Thank you for the magnificent
esprit de corps.

I had gotten rid of Mingozzi, it's true,

but not of the excitement that those
photos had triggered in me.

It was time for my afternoon nap.

And I wanted to see her at all costs.

I want to see her. Luisa lying in bed.

I want to see her. Luisa without a bra.

Look at this thug!

Look at that!

That body could talk.

Maybe I'll see the Virgin Mary now.

Our Lady.

No, there's no one there.

It's my imagination.

-There's nobody there.
-No.

I am the unknown soldier.

I retire to the monument
of the unknown soldier.

Franco, what are you doing here?

No need to cover up
after the show you put on in the garden.

Look, you're making a mistake.

There was a very specific reason for that.

I don't doubt it. There's always a reason.

What did you get
from my father for the striptease?

Nothing, I assure you.

Sometimes I don't understand you.
Why do you do that?

I don't like to see you
being used by everyone.

I don't like it. By my father,
by Mingozzi. By Giuseppe too.

-Like you're a piece of meat.
-So? Why don't you defend me?

I'm a piece of meat to you too,
that's why you took me to the lake!

Then you didn't have the guts.
You're a little boy.

No!

You don't understand a thing.

I understand all too well.

I love you.

I'm going to prove it to you.

-Giuseppe.
-Are you going to the eye doctor too?

I haven't been able
to see right for two days. I need a visit.

-I'm doing better.
-Yes, you're doing better.

-The envelope.
-For goodness’ sake, don't be a rat.

Don't tell your mother.
She'll kill your father and he'll kill me.

-After he's dead?
-He'd come back to life and kill me.

I won't say anything to my mother.
The envelope.

-The envelope?
-The one you have there.

Make sure you don't tell on me.

-Will you give me a receipt?
-Go home.

-There's a lot to do.
-Don't be a spy or I'll get into trouble.

He took the envelope.

My father's head over heels for that girl.

I just learned about you.

I'm warning you
so you can do something about it.

You're very kind.

Why would you do that?

Because...

-I like you.
-I understand.

In fact, thank you.

It's late.

You can't wait to see her again.

-Who are you talking about?
-That girl.

Your father's new secretary.
You're in love, I can tell.

Don't worry, I'll help you.

You've been kind to me,
so I will be nice to you. Bye.

Bye.

-Who is it?
-It's Giuseppe.

-Did something happen?
-No, I brought you some chamomile tea.

-To help you fall asleep.
-I was sleeping.

-I'm sorry, I woke you up.
-It's okay.

-That's good, I can talk to you now.
-Sit down, tell me.

Thank you.

You think of me as a waiter,
ignorant and stupid,

but I've been to school.

Yes?

I was in the service of a lady
and I took her child to school.

Elementary, middle school, high school.

Did you wake me up
to tell me these things?

No, I wanted to tell you something.

Tell me.

I am in love.

I get it, you wanted to confide in me.
You're in love with Ernesta.

No, she's an old woman.
For goodness’ sake.

-With the lady?
-I wouldn't allow myself to.

-Franco?
-No, I'm not homosexual.

No. I am in love with you.

Me?

Yes. If you say yes to me,

I have a friend in Switzerland who's
promised me a much better position.

We can get married and leave right away.

It is a great idea, but I think
it'd be better to talk about it tomorrow.

-Is that okay?
-Who is it?

It must be our boss.
Don't make me look bad.

-Hide.
-At this hour, in my fiancée's room?

Where do I hide? Under the covers.

-What are you doing? Get in the closet.
-In the closet?

Yes.

-It won't open?
-Yes.

-Summer or winter section?
-Either.

Summer is better, it's cooler.

Don't forget I'm here.

Luisa.

Franco. What is it?

-I've come to talk to you.
-Tell me.

I wanted to tell you something important.

Sorry about this morning.
I said things I didn't mean.

-Then...
-Then?

Then there was one more thing
I wanted to say to you.

-Will you marry me?
-What?

How...

-Who is it?
-Your father, hide.

Hide.

-In the closet?
-No, under the bed.

Miss Luisa.

-You're here too?
-You must think I'm crazy.

Miss, it's not like that.

-I...
-Ernesta, what are you doing?

Miss, you don't believe that I...

It's the opposite, if anything!

-So?
-Luisa, I've been here for 40 years.

You're a secretary here.

Franco is the son of my master.

You don't think I'm blind, do you?

Franco loves you, miss.
Do you love him?

I think I do.

-This piece...
-So--

It must be our boss. Go hide.

-No, not there.
-Here.

No. Back there.

Luisa.

Luisa.

-Were you sleeping?
-I don't think so.

Excuse me, but it suddenly occurred to me

that I wanted to tell you something.

You too, sir?

What?

No, I was just saying,
would you mind making this quick?

I'm tired, sir.

Would you mind getting rid of that "sir"?

As you wish, Armando.

You called me Armando!

You called me Armando!

Oh God. It's like The Exorcist.

-Franco, what are you doing here?
-Stop hitting on everyone.

Wretched son, come out and I'll bite you.

-For goodness’ sake!
-Coward!

Even the fascist hag!

-For the love of God!
-Who will help me get up?

-Giuseppe!
-Here I am.

-Sir.
-Are you here yet?

-Are you Mandrake?
-I was just passing by.

Yes, and I fell from a streetcar!
Help me, take me away.

Sorry, Luisa.

When they see a woman,
they lose their heads around here.

Finally.
Shall we carry on our conversation?

-Giuseppe!
-What a pain in the ass! One moment.

What a crowd there was
in that penalty area!

It was enough to discourage anyone,
but I couldn't give up.

Time was running out
and my enemy was about to recover.

The race for the secretary
was becoming more desperate.

I have climbed mountains,
this staircase won't stop me.

Left, right.

Help.

I won't give up!

"How hard the passage to descend
and climb by others' stairs."

What happened? Honey!

-Be quiet.
-Renato!

Götterdämmerung, the fall of the gods.

-I was on my way to the room.
-It's that one there.

I know which one it is. Pull me up.

-Right.
-Yes.

Help me up. Put yourself in front.

-Here.
-Lean in.

My goodness!

Take me. I'm ready, I'll go up with you.

Tomorrow I will
get them to build an elevator.

Take me up to the room.

First she will be mine and then we'll see.

Listen.

I got you to come here because there
are no secrets between father and son.

Youth has its rights.

I'm impulsive
and when I saw you there, I got angry.

Let's not talk about it anymore.

-No. Do you need anything else?
-No.

Yes.

Mom wants to see the secretary
to give her an urgent job.

She wants to see her right away.

What does that have to do with me?

Don't be a jerk.
You know very well which secretary I mean.

That sort of monster
you brought here last time.

-You've got to get her back.
-Yeah.

-You have to pay for it.
-I know.

I don't know if the money
from last time will be enough.

Modern youth! Blackmailers.
Is two hundred enough?

I'm going to try, I don't know.
I hope it's enough.

-Bye.
-Bye.

All from his mom.
I have a criminal in the house.

Luisa, do you know that you're amazing?

It's the first time I've understood math.

It's just a matter of habit.

-I always do them at the store.
-I didn't know you had a store.

It's not mine, it's my dad's.
When I need money--

It wasn't meant as a compliment,
but you are experienced.

Yes, I am. Is that all you need?

Go ahead, my husband will be impatient.

Thank you.

-Luisa.
-Yes.

-I would like to give you a gift.
-Don't worry, it's all paid for.

-Yes?
-You could give me a little gift.

Yes? What?

A kiss on the mouth.

-Luisa.
-Yes.

-Is it that you like women? Help.
-Yes, call me Oscar!

Is that a woman? She's a digger!

What a beautiful day!

That dream again.

I know you're not here.

This is just a dream,
there's no one there.

-Mrs. Ponziani.
-You're not there.

Madam, this isn't a dream.
I am Luisa, Mingozzi's girlfriend.

I remember, what are you doing here?

-I've been living here for a week.
-That pig!

-Filthy rascal!
-Calm down.

If you have patience,

the story's a little complicated,
but I'll tell you all about it.

So you don't have to worry
about your husband.

In the days that I have been here
as his secretary...

He loves you very much.

I assure you that he has
no other woman than you.

Who would have guessed!

I thought that whoremonger
husband had at least one mistress.

-Can I call you by your first name?
-Sure.

Before I married my husband
I was his mistress, his secretary.

You see, I'm not interested in him.

-No?
-It's Franco.

We love each other
and we want to get married.

-He would have told you--
-One moment.

It's too early for Franco,
he's still a baby to me.

Let's talk about this another time,
postpone it. Now's not the time.

What a nice girl that was who just left!

-A little bit agitated...
-That girl?

I wonder if your husband
noticed that she is a man.

Miss Oscar.

Miss Oscar.

I'll take care of Oscar, you marry Franco.
I'll fix everything with my husband.

-No problem, thank you.
-You're welcome.

No, I was cheated.

No, I'm the one being cheated.

She was here and I didn't even know it.

You weren't told because your health
was in a dangerous condition.

-I brought her in for....
-For what?

Communicating with foreign countries.

She didn't translate anything?

She could have done better,

but she's always
running around with Franco.

At the pond, on that bike,
here in the rooms, in the dungeons.

Honey, be reasonable.

Luisa is good, I trust her.

Do you know that she spoke well of you?

Yes? What did she say?

She said you are a good husband.

And you don't have women around
or she would have told me. How nice!

Yes, she's cute.

Anyway, there's no chance of a marriage!

Calm down, don't raise your voice,
we are not in a factory.

Be reasonable, listen to them.

Franco! Luisa!

Here they are. Jules and Romeatte.

I wanted to introduce you to a cousin of
mine who is visiting the city. Come.

-Morning.
-Oh God!

Madam,
I am Luisa's Swedish cousin.

I have heard so much about you,
I am pleased to meet you.

-Pleasure.
-Ingrid, come.

Let me introduce you to Mr. Ponziani.

-Nice to meet you, I'm Ingrid.
-I'm Armando.

Have we met before?

Armando, do you know this lady or not?

No, we've never met.

No? I must be mistaken.

-Maybe she was wrong.
-Maybe I was.

Do you know that your father
doesn't want you to marry Luisa?

Maybe he still wants
to keep her as his secretary.

What are you saying?
Your mother has gone crazy.

Luisa... for me...

I've gotten used to having her around.

Now, with the wedding,
she'll always be in the house.

All right, are you happy?

Happy? More than happy!

-I'm happy too!
-You never agreed before.

Before was before, now is after.
Now I kiss the bride.

-So I'll always have you close.
-What is he saying in your ear?

Nothing, think how good Dad is.

He asked me if I'd like a trip around
the world for our honeymoon. Right?

Now you're exaggerating, Armando.

We went to Lugano for six days
just to go abroad.

We did 30, let's do 40!

All right, let's make it 31.

-Let's make a toast.
-Champagne!

For once, I had a beautiful secretary,

my son stole her from me
and took her on a honeymoon.

No wonder, he's my own flesh and blood.

But her, that fake angel!

Look what a mess she's managed to make.

Unless she did it
so she can stay in the house near to me,

with my wife's consent.
How stupid is that!

Of course that's why she did it!

I'll try again when she comes back,
to get the doubt out of my mind.

I'm sorry about Franco, but war is war.

He may not even be the blood of my blood.

-There are no suitcases in here.
-Open the front!

-In the hood, pull the lever.
-All right.

There are no suitcases in here,
they've been stolen.

There's a beauty case.

-No, it's empty.
-There's a beauty case.

A box? What do I know what it's called!

-Easy, there's delicate stuff in there.
-Yes. Is it a bomb?

Let me look at you!
You are the picture of happiness.

-Franco, darling!
-Long live the newlyweds!

What a joy, welcome back!

-Oscar, what are you doing?
-He's my personal driver.

I've decided to go
to the opera house more often.

I don't trust your father
when he sings and drives at the same time.

Honey, how are you doing?

Oscar, don't get distracted. Luisa.

-How did you do that?
-Honey, come kiss me!

Hi, Mom.

Oh my! What a pain!

Leave the doors open!

Do I have to break my leg again?
I just got better.

Who do I see here? My children!

The joy of my eyes. Come here.

Your cousin must be
just as good as you, Luisa.

Armando's made her his secretary.

Ingrid is really good.
She might be better than you are.

She does things...

See you tomorrow, miss.

See you tomorrow. Bye, little cousin.

Bye.

Honey.

I'm very happy, sir.

I'm Armando now, your daddy. One kiss...

at midnight in the guest room.

Sure, Dad.

See that I was right?

Let's be clear,

I'll go to her just
to clear up the misunderstanding.

The Diabolik of Brianza
and his Eva Kant waiting for him in bed,

in the warmth.

What a thing! Luisa on her back...

Here. I'm coming, hold on.
Hold on, I've taken aim.

Hold, here. Now...

Pass the ball, I'm alone!

Then it's true that you
urgently needed to talk to me!

-High treason! Oh God!
-Tell me.