La revanche des Crevettes Pailletées (2022) - full transcript
Someone needs to stop Clearway Law.
Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.
Dear friends...
Welcome to the Tokyo Gay Games.
Let's give a warm welcome
to the French water polo team...
The Shiny Shrimps!
THE SHINY SHRIMPS STRIKE BACK
Leave me here, Marco.
This is good.
Are you ashamed of our life?
No, babe,
but the others wouldn't understand.
What?
All this. You know them.
Actually, I don't.
You're not missing much.
Know what?
The best tribute to Jean
is to live to the full.
So I'll stay here with you.
The Gay Games?
You're busy,
they're just going to party.
Why should I be the only one
who gives a damn?
Because you're more
than their goalkeeper.
There's a surprise in the pocket.
Think of me every second.
You're crazy!
Go now.
Konnichiwa.
Only hand luggage?
I checked the rest in.
We have new rules.
Low carbon footprint.
- A girl goes no lower.
- Hi, guys.
And Fred.
Sorry, my Uber broke down.
Typical.
Why not fly direct?
Any activities must be
accessible to all.
A 22-hour trip...
- Bon voyage.
- You too.
Move!
Hello.
Good news, Mr Blanchard.
Your status
gets you an upgrade.
What status?
My status as ACT UP's former treasurer.
No.
Your first-class flyer status.
- Teachers got a raise?
- No.
I met someone with money
and we took a trip to Asia,
nothing much.
And Fiji.
Australia too.
- The USA...
- Ok, thanks.
Who is he?
Bram.
You introduced us in Croatia.
The loaded trader?
Keep it quiet.
I'm left-wing.
Mr Socialist is treating me.
- Enjoy.
- Thanks.
- Need a hand, Damien?
- I'm ok.
Here, Damien.
Hi, coach.
All good, guys?
Meet the great player I mentioned.
Sélime.
Hi there!
Sélime, meet the Shrimps.
The Shrimps?
The Shiny Shrimps.
It's their name. It's original.
- A shrimp's best bit is...
- The head!
The head.
Add the shine and it's party time.
Row 28?
28 E and D. Just there.
Excuse me.
Sit yourself down
and I'll be right back.
He seems nice.
Dial back the dancing, shrimps,
shine and heels 'cause he's not...
He's not what?
He is, but what I mean is
not like...
Is he leaving?
Shit. He's just shy.
Sélime!
- What's up?
- Are you serious?
- What?
- Your pals are gay!
That's the idea of the team.
And you called me?
Fuck this!
I should've told you,
but you didn't seem very...
No kidding?
After a homophobic rant,
I was sentenced to coach them.
I was like you at first.
I was surprised.
But they're great guys.
- Screw that!
- Wait up, Sélime.
You keep saying
you want to play for France.
These games... Well, this competition
will test you internationally.
And you wanna go home?
Why pick me?
Because...
Because what?
You're the most open-minded.
I'll get wasted in the hood
with that lot!
No one'll see you
far across the world.
Hold on...
The Black aside,
not one's built for water polo.
You're wrong, they're good.
- See Xavier, the flamingo?
- Yeah.
A real Neymar in the pool.
And the midget who never grew?
Damien?
Amazingly powerful.
Know what they call him?
The Seal.
And the oldie?
Enough, we're not alone.
Joël doesn't have a nickname,
just a lot of experience.
In bars.
No, at the Olympics.
- He was at the Olympics?
- Yes.
Like you?
Yes, but 25 years ago for him.
- The Sydney games?
- Absolutely.
But he hates talking about it.
Sélime... Japan, man.
Realize what a break this is?
It'll be wild.
A new culture, the food,
amazing places...
Do we fly or do we fuck?
He's not serious.
He's kidding, it's a joke.
Sorry.
Try asking the pilot.
What the fuck am I doing?
Give me your bag.
There.
Ok, honey?
Are you in the toilet?
Yes. Tell me something...
You know Sélime...
Sir, we're taking off.
Just a second.
Thank you.
Sélime is gay, right?
Why?
Victoire, answer me, please.
Is he gay?
I think so.
You think so?
Return to your seat!
I'm nearly done, dammit!
You said he couldn't come out
in the projects
and wanted me to show him
something new.
You said that.
So, for you, he's gay.
No, it was just a feeling.
Jesus...
Dad, what have you done?
Dad?
Nothing. Gotta go, honey.
Just give me a second.
Excuse me, miss...
Can we send champagne
to my friends in coach?
Sorry, that's not allowed.
Frédéric Lecomte?
Is that you?
Yes, it's you.
Christophe Pouchard,
Pasteur High, class 4D.
Oh, yes.
Shit, you've...
You've changed.
- Not enough.
- Fine by me.
- Fredo...
- Fred now.
Right, more unisex.
That was fun.
See you in 20 years.
Hold on, let's do a photo.
Chloé Le Guennec won't believe it.
Later, maybe.
Ok, later then, Fredo pal.
Holy cow... Fredo!
Guys...
I was wondering...
Is a straight on the team ok?
It's cool. You're our quota.
Yes, thanks, but...
I meant others.
No, don't overdo it.
Why do you ask?
No reason...
Just curious.
One is ok, but more is tricky.
- Things get trashy.
- Like in soccer.
Isn't that discriminatory?
That's a majority shunning a minority.
- This is self-preservation.
- Salvation.
Imagine a guy you don't know
joins the team.
D'you ask if he's gay?
- What?
- That's personal.
- And inappropriate.
- Totally!
So how d'you know if he's gay?
- By using gaydar.
- Please, not that.
What the hell's gaydar?
Dolphins have sonar.
- Soldiers have radar.
- And us, gaydar.
What a load of crap...
See him? I can tell he's gay.
- No way.
- Totally gay.
Too hot to be straight.
That's complicated.
It's a sixth sense, chemical.
Like chicks and friends' periods.
Gross!
Everything ok?
So you like rap?
What?
You like rap?
Yeah.
That's cool.
D'you like other stuff?
More mainstream?
Mainstream?
Something more melodic.
Like 50 Cent?
Yes, 50 Cent or...
Céline Dion.
Where's Jean?
Where is he?
Can't you be careful?
Coach is too cramped.
Yes, Mr Selfish!
I only have one sweater with me!
I'm covered in it.
What's going on?
Vincent,
no shagging between Shrimps.
We've been together five months.
That's nothing.
Your longest relationship.
It's precious. We must protect it.
Otherwise we could end up
like straight couch potatoes.
Just imagine...
A secret affair in an exotic land.
Kinda erotic, huh?
Let me by. I need to piss.
I hate secrets!
What a drama queen!
What?
- Didn't you quit?
- I did.
But flying freaks me out.
Don't tell anyone.
Quick, it's only 30 minutes
between flights.
At 400 euros,
beggars can't be choosers.
I'll murder him.
I've been waiting ages!
- We don't fly business.
- I was born in business, baby.
You must be Sélime.
- What's that?
- That's Fred.
Ok, Fred?
I'll explain.
I see no Tokyo flight.
It's in 32 minutes.
Not 32 minutes.
It's in 24 hours and 32 minutes.
- What?
- Let me see.
It's tomorrow.
- You're right.
- Shit!
Worse than last time.
The bags!
Where are we? Guys!
All this way
for the same crap buildings.
Thank Joël.
You handle it next time.
- No next time.
- Yeah?
- Yeah!
- Good.
Cut it out, guys.
That's wild!
Cédric's double!
What's that watch?
Nothing, just a watch.
Let me see.
A Daytona?
It's beautiful!
- Where's it from?
- Some guy selling fakes.
Some guy?
Rolex isn't your usual style.
I'm left-wing, but I can
treat myself to a 30-euro fake.
It's a great copy.
Really great.
C'mon, it's just junk!
I'll send Cédric the photo.
No, his life's shit already.
I bet he's happy
to put his relationship first.
Go!
Geography.
What is the capital of Ethiopia?
Addis Ababa.
Yes!
History.
When was Henri IV assassinated?
Henri IV... 15 something...
1610!
- The exact date.
- Too easy otherwise.
You aren't serious.
- Rules are rules.
- Exactly!
May 14, 1610!
Yes!
We're good!
Sport...
For you, baby!
Where did Laure Manaudou
break the freestyle record?
- Manaudou...
- Come on!
I did water polo, not swimming.
Athens?
Yes!
An easy win.
Dead easy.
Another?
Let's get lubricated!
Your guy's smutty.
This is hell...
Hurry, babe!
Let's play another round!
Coming!
Nice bunker.
It'll be fine.
I'm gonna need help, baby.
Stop complaining.
I'm not sharing.
They never saw a water polo team?
It's grim.
We can sample local specialities.
Bolshoidick!
They love their food.
All you sample is room service.
They're homophobic.
C'mon, it's not Chechnya.
Wait till you get attacked.
We don't move and go into stealth mode.
- Such bravery...
- What?
We honour Jean,
we don't change the world. Passports!
The old guy's right.
I'd be wary too.
Watch this for me.
I'm in the shit here
with your misguided impressions.
So what if he isn't gay?
The Gay Games are open to all.
Yes...
He knows it's the Gay Games?
No, that's the problem.
I was going to tell him in Tokyo.
What?
C'mon, Dad.
You have to tell him now!
Pain in the ass.
Sélime?
Fuck yes...
Hiya, Vincent, ok?
Fine, and you?
It's not mine.
We're going to the pool to train.
Coming?
Yeah...
Where's Sélime?
At the pool with the others.
Training.
Very supple!
Warming up.
- Ready to shoot?
- Gimme your best shot!
Who wants to start?
Over to you, good-looking!
C'mon, Sélime.
You'll see why I'm The Rampart.
- Cos you're old.
- And crumbling!
Guys,
respect the champ.
Jerk my chain!
You were at the Olympics.
Shut up, kid.
I'm defending you!
Just try to score, ok.
That's your trip?
That's my trip.
Go on!
Are you nuts or what?
He's the goalkeeper.
He's useless.
Lean your head back.
No one's here to get hurt.
So how do we win?
The show is what matters.
What show?
At the Gay Games opening.
The what?
The Gay Games.
The world's top homosexual event.
Broadcast to over 70 countries
this year.
You took me for a ride,
you fucking liar!
I'm no fag!
Sorry?
I'm not like you!
Sélime!
Is he serious?
He's on edge. It's nothing.
What is this shit?
He's no homophobe, ok.
We checked.
He visits gay porn sites.
Tell them.
You searched his gear?
Yes, a little.
You searched his gear?
People's sex life is private.
I agree!
I know.
Did he tell you he was gay?
No, not exactly.
My daughter told me.
How does she know?
She got the feeling...
What?
It's like your radar.
That dolphin thing...
Why didn't you just ask him?
I dunno!
Why didn't you talk to us
before screwing up?
I dunno. I thought
maybe he could help us win.
I thought of Jean.
I got busted at a student demo.
The cops smashed my specs.
I couldn't see.
But when they threw Manuel in my cell...
He wasn't yet 20, big dark eyes,
red from the tear gas,
his T-shirt torn,
a gorgeous, muscular chest,
a tight little ass in his jeans...
Why are you telling me this?
Because, even if I've always
desired men,
I had to experience that
to stop lying to myself.
It'll be the same for Sélime.
I hope you're right.
For now, he won't leave his room.
- Hello?
- Put Mom on.
How's life? Banged any Jap girls?
Just put her on.
Here you go.
Hello, son.
- Ok?
- How are you?
Can you buy me a flight home?
Why? You got in a fight again?
No, not at all.
What then?
It's not a normal team.
They don't play in a pool?
That's not the problem.
What is it then?
What's the real problem?
I'll manage, it's ok.
Love you.
Leave it.
Cedricovski!
His spitting image.
It's wild.
Fortunately,
we have very few homosexuals.
Our compatriots
don't want to see
perverted men marry,
as in the West.
It's a disease
that we need to treat.
The next thing we know,
they'll want to marry
parents, brothers,
goats or even vacuum cleaners.
I'd die for a Dyson!
Answer it.
I'll have a smoke. Be right back.
You smoke now?
Yeah.
- Hi, Dadou.
- Hi, babe.
- Ok?
- I miss you.
I wore your shirt today.
I've got your smell all over me.
It's a bad time...
Your perfume's everywhere.
I want you!
Not now, I'm in a hotel corridor.
What would you do to me?
Kiss me?
I'd kiss your neck...
My neck? I love it, it tickles!
Don't stop.
I'd grab your tits...
Grab them, kiss them. Don't stop!
I'd move down
between your thighs...
I'd part them...
My big imp, eat my pussy!
Sorry.
I'll call you back.
Vincent, wait!
Let me explain.
There's no need.
- C'mon, Vincent, please.
- What?
Shit...
Alright...
You know I grew up in a foster home.
It wasn't easy.
At 18, I had to split and...
I ended up on the skids.
I'd go to the pool to shower.
I met Jean and Cédric there.
I trained with the Shrimps and...
- You said you were gay?
- No.
They thought I was.
I'd never been with anyone,
so I might have preferred guys.
I didn't know.
I was a virgin until I met Alice.
It's too late to tell them.
You're straight, so?
You joined us last of all.
After 15 years,
they wouldn't understand.
I dunno.
I'm sick of all these lies...
What lies?
What lies d'you mean, Vincent?
That's right. What lies, Vincent?
Weird...
Right...
You too?
I found a guy nearby too.
We can't jerk off in this dump.
Right, that'd be dumb.
- Where's yours?
- Mine?
Your hook-up.
Not too far from the hotel.
Cool, mine too. Let's go.
No...
They'll see us. We'll get busted.
- Come on!
- No!
It's best to do nothing.
Do nothing?
I can't leave Sélime like that.
So where's yours?
Where is he?
He's...
Where's yours?
Mine's
that way.
Mine's over there.
We'll talk tomorrow.
- Ok, deal.
- Kisses.
Hold on...
What?
Mine's that way too.
Kinda funny, huh?
Yeah, really funny.
- Want some?
- I quit.
Got a secret?
What? No.
Met someone?
No way. But I don't need that.
I just love fucking guys.
Where are you going?
To live my life.
Good night.
Fred, it's dangerous.
They have a problem with women too?
- No, but with...
- What?
With redheads.
Pathetic.
She can't go alone.
Fred, wait.
No.
- Fred, wait.
- No.
Even the Moscow Mule is crap.
I'm into Russians.
They're so well hung.
Yeah...
Never had one?
A Russian? Not really.
You'll have a blast.
Hold on a sec.
- Your hook-up?
- What?
Yes. Shit, he's cancelling!
What a drag!
I wanted to blow a big cock.
I'll go back.
Wait, I'll ask mine if he has a buddy.
- I don't want to disturb you.
- No worries.
- It's not done.
- You'll love it!
It's rude.
This is a bad idea.
Go back then, Joël.
Sure! If we split up, they'll mug us.
Who d'you mean? There's no one around.
You're paranoid.
- Weird, it should be here.
- I knew it.
Four stars on TravelGay.
Five years ago!
I bet the government closed it.
Of course not.
- Fred!
- Come on.
It's as cold as the North Pole!
Fred, he's right. Let's go back, please.
- Please, Fred.
- "Please, Fred!"
I'd love such tiny balls!
Come on.
We'll get them cut off.
At least wait for us.
Fred!
- Fred!
- It's scary.
Drop the rebel act.
We're in danger.
I think this is it.
- Wrong address?
- No, this is it.
I mean, it happens.
Come on. Look.
- Here!
- Listen to me a second.
- What?
- Remember when we met?
Yes, at the pool.
Jean introduced us and you know...
I miss him too.
It's good to know I'm not alone.
Thanks.
Alright, life goes on.
Let's not lose heart.
I'll have some now.
It'll fire you up.
I hope so...
Me first!
It's a big party.
This place is wild for LGBTs.
No one says LGBT now.
So what do you say?
LGBTQQAAIP+.
It's more inclusive.
Hold on, isn't LGBT
Lesbian Gay Bi and Trans?
Yes, then Queer,
Questioning who hesitate
but who reject heterosexual values.
Allies like you.
Asexual.
- Intersex.
- Absolutely!
And Pansexual like me.
What'll you have?
- You speak French?
- A bit.
I speak French too.
Great.
Where did you learn?
We learn at school.
And French guys come here,
so we talk.
You have a lovely accent, anyhow.
- Thanks.
- I love it.
What'll it be, beer or vodka?
Vodka? Ok, vodka.
"Wodka", that's how you say it?
You're a fast learner.
Yes, I am.
What's pansexual?
They sleep with everyone.
Isn't that bi?
Let's get it over with.
Can't you see they're homophobes?
What?
My girlfriend.
Thanks, I speak English.
You do women now?
- What?
- Shut up.
If we survive, I'll murder you.
You like her.
Yeah. I dunno... No.
I won't go back after Tokyo.
I'm moving to Los Angeles.
Why?
To be a woman.
I don't get it.
Aren't you already a...
Not for guys who knew Fredo.
You know,
I've always seen you as a chick.
I swear it's true.
I know I can be clumsy at times but...
for me you're a woman.
And a pretty one.
Not like her.
You are.
You dance better than any girl here,
your clothes and makeup are perfect.
And you have...
a real personality.
You dance, you're strong...
You're Fred, like.
Hold on...
Sorry.
Wait. Fred!
Who is it?
I've been thinking.
We need to talk.
You're a pain.
What if the others do find out?
Can't we talk about it?
We should be open about it.
What?
Either we're together and tell them
or we end it.
Untie me!
Hi there.
Where's Matthias?
In his room?
No, I need to find him.
Why?
I need money to fly back to Paris.
Why fly back?
I'm not into your fag bash.
Answering that?
No.
Is Matthias there?
Call the cops.
Damien and I got baited.
Gay beated!
He knows French.
A little French.
We're counting on you.
Hurry!
The old guy was right!
What now?
We go there.
I remove my makeup,
you untie him...
Let's move it, guys.
Come on!
Untie me!
I'm warning you.
After the cops, lend me the money
and manage alone.
- I'm used to guys who chicken out.
- What?
Chill, that elegant barb
was aimed at me.
Sélime, tell Xavier
he's a stranger to elegance.
Sélime, tell Vincent
his pre-teen voice won't hook a guy.
Think I have a pre-teen voice too?
Who gives a shit?
No, you're so virile.
Fred, slow down, he's plastered.
Just leave me, I'm no use.
Those kids
are better activists than I ever was!
I've betrayed myself.
I'm a fake, an impostor.
I'm a piece of shit!
Fred, help me out here.
Great team spirit.
Drop the act, Matthias, it's over.
What act are you talking about?
Yours!
You're an open-minded guy now?
You just piss us off!
What? I piss you off?
So much.
You tell me that?
After I bust my ass two years with you?
Trying to get you losers
to score a few goals now and then!
Poor baby. You only stay with us
cos you feel responsible
for Jean's death.
A Ryan Gosling butt tattoo
means serious psychological issues.
I didn't wait 25 years to use my butt!
I'll make up for lost time!
Great, a bit of experience
will do you good!
Oh, yeah?
We're French!
Daddy!
Matthias?
What?
Hold on, slow down.
I don't understand.
What is it?
Can you say that again?
Alex, Damien, Vincent, Xavier
and Sélime got arrested. Got that?
Why?
No idea.
The police tell us nothing.
Another screw-up.
The consulate can't help.
Bertrand knows the embassy.
Can he help?
Sure, of course.
- No!
- Yes!
I only translate for them!
Sure, Matthias, no problem.
Bertrand will call now.
Are Fred and Joël ok?
Yes, the problem is the others,
especially Sélime.
I brought him here.
Yes, but it'll be ok.
Let's hope so. Call me, ok.
He's nuts!
One towel?
Thanks a lot, Alex.
It wasn't mine, ok!
- They planted the coke on me.
- Sure.
Wanna add something?
What? No.
No one gets arrested for 3 grams.
Here you do. We're in a detox centre
miles from anywhere.
It was that or jail.
What happens now?
They'll intimidate us.
They already did.
What can happen to us?
We're French citizens.
Think they give a shit?
Toe the line and avoid hassle.
Let's chill, ok.
The embassy will be looking for us.
There must be a mistake.
It's a water polo team off to Tokyo
with no desire to harm your country.
Alright, but...
can they sometimes be excessive
or too demonstrative?
No, they're pretty discreet guys.
Almost boring, right?
Dimitri,
I won't lie. They're very immature.
Ball-busters.
But I'm absolutely sure
they didn't intend to harm your country.
All I know for now is that,
at Deputy Vilonov's request,
they haven't been jailed.
So where are they?
I have no idea.
Once I find out, I'll let you know.
Great. There you go.
Thank you.
Is that all?
- What can I do?
- A bit more.
It's Daddy!
What?
No, that's not Daddy.
It's Daddy.
Not at all. That guy's much fatter.
Yes.
Come on, kids, let's go.
Wait for us, boys.
Isn't Dimitri a friend?
Not really, but he'll check.
It's all we can do.
You don't want to do a thing.
What?
You hate my friends.
- Not true.
- Stop!
You've never been to a game,
never invited them over.
Your Shrimps always go off the rails.
You're a drag, but others can have fun.
- A drag?
- Yes.
Like your game night pals.
- Richard and Véro are a drag?
- Totally!
Steph and Patrick too.
Sorry if they're cultured.
Sorry, but who cares
if Bamako is the capital of Ethiopia.
Addis Ababa!
Unlike your pals,
not everyone's a walking cliché
stuffing gayness in people's faces!
What did you say?
I'm sick of being different
when we want to fit in.
It pisses me off, doing it in my name.
If you, Bertrand Duverney,
are here today in a fancy suit,
in a top job,
if we had kids and married,
it's down to guys like them
fighting homophobia
in heels and pride parades.
That was the only way
to get noticed
to have maybe one chance
of being heard!
Ok, fine.
What does Mr Activist plan to do?
I don't know.
We'll figure it out.
Are you Cédric?
Yes.
You must be Bertrand.
- Who's he?
- No idea.
I'm Bram. I'm...
Joël's cousin.
Pleased to meet you.
Shit, my hands have gone numb!
This can't go on. Let's say something.
Great. What'll you say?
We're not junkies or masons.
Seriously?
What was that?
Time to eat.
- What's this?
- Gross.
Inedible.
- Not eating?
- No.
I'm starving.
Why has no one come for us?
We'll die here.
They won't keep us.
- How long?
- No idea.
For now,
do as Sélime said,
low profile to get out fast.
It just needs some salt.
- It's not bad.
- You disgust me.
Sorry, I don't understand.
He asks why you waste the food.
Sorry, someone tripped me up.
He wants you to eat off the floor.
What?
I can't eat off the floor.
Come here!
He's not gonna do it?
Wait!
Low profile has its limits.
I don't understand.
Stop!
Go back to your seats.
You must be our French guests.
I'm Irina Vilonova,
this centre's director.
We're here by mistake.
We're not drug addicts.
It's a mistake.
We got attacked.
Sorry. Hello.
We just don't want to waste your time.
You already have all these addicts.
We're water polo players
on our way to Tokyo...
You're not here for drugs.
We're not?
So why are we here?
Because you were found kissing him.
He kissed me!
Never mind.
You're like all our residents.
We'll cure you of this disease
that makes you live a debauched life.
The plague of homosexuality.
Arrested for being gay?
Homosexuality isn't a crime here.
But promoting it in public is.
Homosexuals won't pervert our children.
So what's the problem?
Two of them acted obscenely,
but, luckily, defenders of family values
stepped in to uphold the law.
Where are they? Can we see them?
No, not until their trial.
When's that?
She asked when the trial will be.
Unbelievable.
We don't understand the language.
We know no one else here.
Could a lawyer help?
I want an apology first.
From her!
Apologize.
Think of the others.
So you've chosen your side.
No sides, just apologize.
Frédérique, make an effort.
I'm sorry I was such a bitch.
I can be impulsive
and forget my acts have consequences.
There.
Now find them.
A lawyer's no use here.
D'you use those dumb apps?
What apps?
To order sex like a cab.
Says Miss Omnivore.
- What?
- It's French humour. Forget it.
I hate those apps.
I don't use them.
Me neither, being straight.
Good job I'm here.
See them?
- Shit.
- Alex.
It's Alex.
27.5 km.
What d'you mean, 27.5 km?
Maybe at Vosstanovleniye.
What's that?
Probably not a spa.
What did she mean by cure us?
Nothing, forget it.
No, they're maniacs. I saw a report.
They'll brainwash us, exorcize us
and even make us sleep with women.
That's really sick.
I won't get hard.
Think they've been here long?
Hurry, it's lights out soon.
You speak French?
I learned at school.
You're a real water polo team?
Yes.
No, not really.
We're off to the Gay Games.
I'm not.
What are the Gay Games?
Like Eurovision with sexy athletes.
And no crap singers.
They say it's a detox cure,
but it's conversion therapy.
What kind of conversion?
To change sexual orientation.
Change the decor first.
China, the USA, and even Europe does it,
but here...
I didn't know.
Usually, that stuff stays in the family.
It's a local thing
launched by Deputy Vilonov.
So what happens now?
It's a physical expression class.
Like body painting?
He's so gay!
I'm so into him.
What's King Kong saying?
That our civilization has reached
a point of no return.
Today's world has feminized you.
You've been perverted.
He knows because he fell for a man.
Bingo!
His contact...
His muscles...
His sweat...
What a tease.
But it's over.
He was cured.
Now,
thanks to God,
he has a wife and 3 children.
No...
Now, he needs a volunteer.
Sure.
You have to go with him.
No.
No, thanks.
Let's go easy
because you...
Wrestling helps awake
our primal instincts.
It's purely virile.
Total physical domination.
Now we pair up. One guy with him.
In your dreams.
Let's try not to hurt each other.
Like you'd hurt me?
I've done judo...
That guard freaked you out.
Her favourite.
Ask her if she agrees.
What did she say?
10,000, no less.
We maxed out our cards,
we can't.
I know.
But we need her son
to free your friends.
What now?
Your watch.
No way.
Yes.
It's a fake. What do you care?
No, we'd be screwing the old bat.
What do you care?
I'm just honest. I'm left-wing.
I won't rip her off.
Exactly. Hand it over.
Come on.
Go on, give it to her.
We'll buy you 10 others.
- 15.
- Sure.
I mean it.
Thank you.
She thanks you.
We understood.
She can.
Today, for our French guests,
I shall read in French.
Faith can act like a medicine
to treat this disease
of the soul and the body.
We're not sick.
Xavier, isn't it?
Yeah.
Do you believe in God?
With all my soul.
I wanted to be a priest.
To love my brothers.
So you know the Bible says,
"Lying with a man
as with a woman is an abomination."
Leviticus 18:22. Thanks.
Yes, and that's how the Bible guides us.
The Torah or the Qur'an
say the same thing.
I imagine you follow every word,
like in Timothy 2:12,
"Do not let women teach men."
Or Corinthians:
"Women must be silent and submissive."
- Calm down.
- This bitch won't brainwash kids!
That's not faith, loving God
or religion!
Your anger moves me, but...
I'm the wrong target.
I'm not your enemy.
Neither is God
who can free you of your urges.
Free people by locking them up?
Unlike you, our residents are here
of their own free will.
They can leave when they wish.
They and their families trust us
to cure them
and live a normal life.
Two people of the same sex
making love is abnormal?
It's the same as between a brother
and a sister.
It goes against nature.
Why do we scare you?
You don't scare me.
But I'm scared for you.
Because what you call love
is merely desire.
Love is generous.
It is focused on others.
Desire is selfish
and overwhelms you
so you can't tell good from evil.
Have you ever loved, Xavier?
Yes.
Enough to imagine
building up a whole life
with that person?
The good news is
nothing is final.
I can make you strong enough
to fight the urges destroying you
and live the life He imagined for you.
Maybe with a wife and children
one day.
A real family.
But, to get rid of a problem,
you must be brave enough
to admit there is one.
I want to be normal.
I'm sorry.
We're here cos of me.
I keep screwing up lately.
We all screwed up.
I kept turning up at work high.
They fired me.
Why didn't you tell us?
Tell you what?
That I don't care?
That I'm an addict?
That I can't accept Jean's death?
I was afraid.
Afraid you'd judge me
and stop liking me.
But we're a team.
Are you serious?
Matching jackets don't make us a team.
We shouldn't be the Shiny Shrimps
but the Lying Fish.
The straight's laughing?
I'm fucking sick of your little lies.
Alex sniffing coke all day,
you having a girl...
What?
Don't start, you're the worst.
To think I fell
for a selfish coward!
We've been together 5 months,
but we can't say a word to anyone.
As if love meant giving up your freedom.
That's so stupid.
I'm ashamed.
Ashamed of you, ashamed of me,
ashamed of you all.
And Jean must be ashamed of us too.
You've made the right decision, Sélime.
It's not dangerous.
Does it work?
I hope so.
Sometimes so gentle
When life touches me
Like all of us
So gentle then
Sometimes so hard
That every wound
Lasts a long time
Lasts a long time
Men
I love you
Men, I love you
I don't know any who are simple
All those I know are fragile
And difficult
Yes, difficult
Sometimes so funny
Resting on a shoulder
Oh, yes, so funny
With looks that meet
Sometimes so alone
At times they want that
Yes, but so alone
Yes, but so alone
Men
I love you
Men
I love you
Men...
That's it, I have news.
About time.
Ok, here's what I suggest.
Every morning, at 6:45 sharp,
the director, Madam Irina,
goes to her office.
There, she announces
the day's schedule.
Just then,
the staff arrive at the east gate.
Among them, our new friend's son,
Dorofei Bulgakov.
As usual, he goes
to the staff locker rooms.
He'll have 10 minutes
to change and free your friends,
showing them the rear exit escape route.
- Brilliant.
- I guess.
So that's where we wait with the van?
No, the road ends before.
I'll drop you 300 m from the west exit.
You'll have to walk.
And not get spotted.
We're not James Bond!
But he's gay too.
Cut it out, James Bond isn't gay.
Of course he is.
That's bullshit.
Good looks, muscles, Speedos...
He drinks cocktails.
And can't stay with a woman.
Bullshit!
With you, everyone's gay.
Even I'm borderline gay.
Yeah.
No!
First of all,
Bulgakov will go discreetly
to the west wing.
He'll unlock the gate,
avoiding the security cameras.
You'll go and wait nearby.
I'll keep watch from across the road,
ready to pick you up.
At 7:10, Bulgakov's shift begins.
He'll have 5 minutes
to get your friends out,
instead of taking them to the chapel.
Move it, I can't manage!
- What the hell?
- Move!
I'm trying!
He's too strong!
Ok, got them.
We'll end up in jail!
Let's get going!
What about Sélime?
What can we do?
It was his choice.
It's not a choice, they brainwashed him.
We'll save him
if we escape and raise the alarm.
Let's go!
Let's go!
Come on.
Where the hell are they?
I knew we couldn't trust your girl.
She's not my girl, ok.
Once she had you hooked,
she took our dough and his Rolex.
Fake Rolex!
Joël!
What?
What're you doing?
Look what I found!
Screw that.
She said to stay hidden!
Do we obey now?
We're the Shrimps! We're rebels!
We're renegades!
What now, Guevara?
Quiet, you'll get us busted.
Come on, hurry it up!
In the army, I was a marksman.
Spare us the life story.
What's that thing for?
Joël, you'll hurt yourself.
Stop that.
In ACT UP, we'd say,
"Blessed are the mad
for they let light in."
We're good.
We can't see.
Joël!
How did you find us?
A nightmare.
We found this club,
some underground collective...
Where's Sélime?
Sélime!
- Which way?
- Straight on!
Not him!
- What's that?
- A homophobic gay.
I'm ready to shoot.
Violence isn't an answer.
Don't you use violence here?
Sélime, come with us.
Your friend has chosen a braver path.
Shut the fuck up.
Sélime...
Come with us, you can't stay,
it's crazy.
Who the hell are you?
Do you know me?
Know what I really want?
I want to be normal.
I never asked to be different.
To feel this stuff.
Sorry, but being gay
can have its good side too.
Not where I come from.
If you're out, it's hell.
Insulted, beaten up, spat at every day.
I don't want that life.
I knew that too,
but you find the guts to stop hiding.
I can't do it to my family.
My mother...
My brother...
They couldn't understand.
They wouldn't.
We'll take care of you, ok?
We'll help you.
We can put you up if you want.
Come on.
Please.
There's a police roadblock.
Meet me across the lake.
Go, if you want to help me.
Matthias!
He's made his mind up. Let's go.
Go.
Just go!
Fred!
No!
Find her!
Find her! Look!
She's over here!
Come back inside.
Come on now.
Don't move!
It's cracking.
Lie down.
Lightest in front.
Gently.
We're good!
Come on!
Grab my hand.
I can't reach it!
They condemned themselves
by fleeing redemption!
Go on, Damien.
Come on!
A bit further!
- Grab him!
- Come on!
Got him!
Now pull!
C'mon, pull!
What did I say?
Don't you understand? Get inside!
Get inside, I said! Enough!
Come on!
Matthias!
Hold tight.
Pull!
Nearly there.
Come on!
It's hard work hooking a guy.
- Where are they?
- No idea.
I knew it wouldn't work.
No one made you come.
As if I'd leave you two alone.
And not help.
I'll try to reach Joël.
Your cousin misled us.
Why?
He finds life hard enough already...
No, believe me...
We're all stuck
with embarrassing relatives.
- They're over there.
- Aren't you coming?
My struggle is here.
But be visible.
Make noise.
Because silence is death.
I'm counting on you, Joël.
Thank you so much.
Bye!
Thanks for the gear!
- Let's go.
- Where?
Just trust him.
Move it!
Still nothing?
The tower tells me
we have 5 minutes visibility left.
Joël isn't answering.
If the snow traps us,
we won't be able to help them.
I'm sure they'll be here any second.
You've said that for 20 minutes now.
Thibaut, let's go.
It's them!
- Shit.
- Don't move.
Look.
Shit...
What do we do?
If we get out, they'll arrest us too.
Think of our family.
Try to understand.
They're my family too.
Got a bag of cash on you?
We have to go.
Wait!
I have an idea.
- Is that the plane?
- Yeah.
That jet?
Joël, you're the best!
What a crap trip.
Who are you?
I'm Vladimir Duvershenko.
- Who?
- Assistant to his excellency,
Deputy Vilonov!
Deputy Vilonov?
Your name, officer?
Sergeant Polichev.
How can I help you, Mr Deputy?
Deputy Vilonov wants to thank you
for being so vigilant
and enabling the arrest
of these dangerous foreigners.
Thank you.
You idiots!
You were fooled.
Is it a coincidence these homosexuals
ended up in this dump of a town?
They escaped...
Interrupt me one more time
and I swear on the domes
of St Basil's cathedral
you'll serve in Siberia
for the rest of your life.
It's a Western trap!
They sent them
to infiltrate our prisons
and spread the virus of homosexuality.
Fortunately,
Deputy Vilonov has had
the brilliant idea
of exfiltrating them
before the Western media find out.
Sorry, we weren't informed...
You think you're the smartest?
Now get them on that plane!
Don't move!
I'm sorry,
but we can't take orders from a deputy,
however respectable.
Do you really want
to make things worse, officer?
I'm very sorry, but
I need my superiors' agreement.
Don't panic,
but he refuses to release them.
- Why?
- We can't give him orders.
I swear,
we'll get the best lawyer,
but we have to think of the kids.
At 3, we board the plane.
1...
2...
Hold this.
Don't you salute your deputy?
Better than that!
Come on, let's go.
Calm down, no running.
Welcome to Shrimp fucking Airlines!
You're totally crazy!
He's the crazy one. You animal!
Whose jet is this?
Bram's.
It's just a rental.
Sorry, but who is this?
I'm...
I met Bram at the Croatian Gay Games,
remember?
Come on...
No.
Bram!
Who makes a good living
as a trader.
You two are together?
Why didn't you say?
Because I...
I was ashamed. Sorry.
Ashamed of him?
It's not that simple.
Joël Blanchard,
ashamed of a hot millionaire?
It didn't match my political beliefs.
I mean, I'm left-wing.
I'm sorry, my love.
No way...
Champagne all round.
- His own cousin?
- Like in The Crown.
Got a problem?
Bike it to Tokyo.
No, it's ok.
Good. Let's go, baby.
I don't deserve to go.
Ok...
Who wants to keep the straight?
We love him, despite his weird tastes.
On one condition...
Never call me Django again.
Forgive me.
- Come here, guys.
- Guys?
Sorry. And Fred.
We'll eat you from the neck down!
The Shiny Shrimps are in town!
Subtitles by Ian Burley
Subtitling by CINELI DIGITAL
Someone needs to stop Clearway Law.
Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.
Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.
Dear friends...
Welcome to the Tokyo Gay Games.
Let's give a warm welcome
to the French water polo team...
The Shiny Shrimps!
THE SHINY SHRIMPS STRIKE BACK
Leave me here, Marco.
This is good.
Are you ashamed of our life?
No, babe,
but the others wouldn't understand.
What?
All this. You know them.
Actually, I don't.
You're not missing much.
Know what?
The best tribute to Jean
is to live to the full.
So I'll stay here with you.
The Gay Games?
You're busy,
they're just going to party.
Why should I be the only one
who gives a damn?
Because you're more
than their goalkeeper.
There's a surprise in the pocket.
Think of me every second.
You're crazy!
Go now.
Konnichiwa.
Only hand luggage?
I checked the rest in.
We have new rules.
Low carbon footprint.
- A girl goes no lower.
- Hi, guys.
And Fred.
Sorry, my Uber broke down.
Typical.
Why not fly direct?
Any activities must be
accessible to all.
A 22-hour trip...
- Bon voyage.
- You too.
Move!
Hello.
Good news, Mr Blanchard.
Your status
gets you an upgrade.
What status?
My status as ACT UP's former treasurer.
No.
Your first-class flyer status.
- Teachers got a raise?
- No.
I met someone with money
and we took a trip to Asia,
nothing much.
And Fiji.
Australia too.
- The USA...
- Ok, thanks.
Who is he?
Bram.
You introduced us in Croatia.
The loaded trader?
Keep it quiet.
I'm left-wing.
Mr Socialist is treating me.
- Enjoy.
- Thanks.
- Need a hand, Damien?
- I'm ok.
Here, Damien.
Hi, coach.
All good, guys?
Meet the great player I mentioned.
Sélime.
Hi there!
Sélime, meet the Shrimps.
The Shrimps?
The Shiny Shrimps.
It's their name. It's original.
- A shrimp's best bit is...
- The head!
The head.
Add the shine and it's party time.
Row 28?
28 E and D. Just there.
Excuse me.
Sit yourself down
and I'll be right back.
He seems nice.
Dial back the dancing, shrimps,
shine and heels 'cause he's not...
He's not what?
He is, but what I mean is
not like...
Is he leaving?
Shit. He's just shy.
Sélime!
- What's up?
- Are you serious?
- What?
- Your pals are gay!
That's the idea of the team.
And you called me?
Fuck this!
I should've told you,
but you didn't seem very...
No kidding?
After a homophobic rant,
I was sentenced to coach them.
I was like you at first.
I was surprised.
But they're great guys.
- Screw that!
- Wait up, Sélime.
You keep saying
you want to play for France.
These games... Well, this competition
will test you internationally.
And you wanna go home?
Why pick me?
Because...
Because what?
You're the most open-minded.
I'll get wasted in the hood
with that lot!
No one'll see you
far across the world.
Hold on...
The Black aside,
not one's built for water polo.
You're wrong, they're good.
- See Xavier, the flamingo?
- Yeah.
A real Neymar in the pool.
And the midget who never grew?
Damien?
Amazingly powerful.
Know what they call him?
The Seal.
And the oldie?
Enough, we're not alone.
Joël doesn't have a nickname,
just a lot of experience.
In bars.
No, at the Olympics.
- He was at the Olympics?
- Yes.
Like you?
Yes, but 25 years ago for him.
- The Sydney games?
- Absolutely.
But he hates talking about it.
Sélime... Japan, man.
Realize what a break this is?
It'll be wild.
A new culture, the food,
amazing places...
Do we fly or do we fuck?
He's not serious.
He's kidding, it's a joke.
Sorry.
Try asking the pilot.
What the fuck am I doing?
Give me your bag.
There.
Ok, honey?
Are you in the toilet?
Yes. Tell me something...
You know Sélime...
Sir, we're taking off.
Just a second.
Thank you.
Sélime is gay, right?
Why?
Victoire, answer me, please.
Is he gay?
I think so.
You think so?
Return to your seat!
I'm nearly done, dammit!
You said he couldn't come out
in the projects
and wanted me to show him
something new.
You said that.
So, for you, he's gay.
No, it was just a feeling.
Jesus...
Dad, what have you done?
Dad?
Nothing. Gotta go, honey.
Just give me a second.
Excuse me, miss...
Can we send champagne
to my friends in coach?
Sorry, that's not allowed.
Frédéric Lecomte?
Is that you?
Yes, it's you.
Christophe Pouchard,
Pasteur High, class 4D.
Oh, yes.
Shit, you've...
You've changed.
- Not enough.
- Fine by me.
- Fredo...
- Fred now.
Right, more unisex.
That was fun.
See you in 20 years.
Hold on, let's do a photo.
Chloé Le Guennec won't believe it.
Later, maybe.
Ok, later then, Fredo pal.
Holy cow... Fredo!
Guys...
I was wondering...
Is a straight on the team ok?
It's cool. You're our quota.
Yes, thanks, but...
I meant others.
No, don't overdo it.
Why do you ask?
No reason...
Just curious.
One is ok, but more is tricky.
- Things get trashy.
- Like in soccer.
Isn't that discriminatory?
That's a majority shunning a minority.
- This is self-preservation.
- Salvation.
Imagine a guy you don't know
joins the team.
D'you ask if he's gay?
- What?
- That's personal.
- And inappropriate.
- Totally!
So how d'you know if he's gay?
- By using gaydar.
- Please, not that.
What the hell's gaydar?
Dolphins have sonar.
- Soldiers have radar.
- And us, gaydar.
What a load of crap...
See him? I can tell he's gay.
- No way.
- Totally gay.
Too hot to be straight.
That's complicated.
It's a sixth sense, chemical.
Like chicks and friends' periods.
Gross!
Everything ok?
So you like rap?
What?
You like rap?
Yeah.
That's cool.
D'you like other stuff?
More mainstream?
Mainstream?
Something more melodic.
Like 50 Cent?
Yes, 50 Cent or...
Céline Dion.
Where's Jean?
Where is he?
Can't you be careful?
Coach is too cramped.
Yes, Mr Selfish!
I only have one sweater with me!
I'm covered in it.
What's going on?
Vincent,
no shagging between Shrimps.
We've been together five months.
That's nothing.
Your longest relationship.
It's precious. We must protect it.
Otherwise we could end up
like straight couch potatoes.
Just imagine...
A secret affair in an exotic land.
Kinda erotic, huh?
Let me by. I need to piss.
I hate secrets!
What a drama queen!
What?
- Didn't you quit?
- I did.
But flying freaks me out.
Don't tell anyone.
Quick, it's only 30 minutes
between flights.
At 400 euros,
beggars can't be choosers.
I'll murder him.
I've been waiting ages!
- We don't fly business.
- I was born in business, baby.
You must be Sélime.
- What's that?
- That's Fred.
Ok, Fred?
I'll explain.
I see no Tokyo flight.
It's in 32 minutes.
Not 32 minutes.
It's in 24 hours and 32 minutes.
- What?
- Let me see.
It's tomorrow.
- You're right.
- Shit!
Worse than last time.
The bags!
Where are we? Guys!
All this way
for the same crap buildings.
Thank Joël.
You handle it next time.
- No next time.
- Yeah?
- Yeah!
- Good.
Cut it out, guys.
That's wild!
Cédric's double!
What's that watch?
Nothing, just a watch.
Let me see.
A Daytona?
It's beautiful!
- Where's it from?
- Some guy selling fakes.
Some guy?
Rolex isn't your usual style.
I'm left-wing, but I can
treat myself to a 30-euro fake.
It's a great copy.
Really great.
C'mon, it's just junk!
I'll send Cédric the photo.
No, his life's shit already.
I bet he's happy
to put his relationship first.
Go!
Geography.
What is the capital of Ethiopia?
Addis Ababa.
Yes!
History.
When was Henri IV assassinated?
Henri IV... 15 something...
1610!
- The exact date.
- Too easy otherwise.
You aren't serious.
- Rules are rules.
- Exactly!
May 14, 1610!
Yes!
We're good!
Sport...
For you, baby!
Where did Laure Manaudou
break the freestyle record?
- Manaudou...
- Come on!
I did water polo, not swimming.
Athens?
Yes!
An easy win.
Dead easy.
Another?
Let's get lubricated!
Your guy's smutty.
This is hell...
Hurry, babe!
Let's play another round!
Coming!
Nice bunker.
It'll be fine.
I'm gonna need help, baby.
Stop complaining.
I'm not sharing.
They never saw a water polo team?
It's grim.
We can sample local specialities.
Bolshoidick!
They love their food.
All you sample is room service.
They're homophobic.
C'mon, it's not Chechnya.
Wait till you get attacked.
We don't move and go into stealth mode.
- Such bravery...
- What?
We honour Jean,
we don't change the world. Passports!
The old guy's right.
I'd be wary too.
Watch this for me.
I'm in the shit here
with your misguided impressions.
So what if he isn't gay?
The Gay Games are open to all.
Yes...
He knows it's the Gay Games?
No, that's the problem.
I was going to tell him in Tokyo.
What?
C'mon, Dad.
You have to tell him now!
Pain in the ass.
Sélime?
Fuck yes...
Hiya, Vincent, ok?
Fine, and you?
It's not mine.
We're going to the pool to train.
Coming?
Yeah...
Where's Sélime?
At the pool with the others.
Training.
Very supple!
Warming up.
- Ready to shoot?
- Gimme your best shot!
Who wants to start?
Over to you, good-looking!
C'mon, Sélime.
You'll see why I'm The Rampart.
- Cos you're old.
- And crumbling!
Guys,
respect the champ.
Jerk my chain!
You were at the Olympics.
Shut up, kid.
I'm defending you!
Just try to score, ok.
That's your trip?
That's my trip.
Go on!
Are you nuts or what?
He's the goalkeeper.
He's useless.
Lean your head back.
No one's here to get hurt.
So how do we win?
The show is what matters.
What show?
At the Gay Games opening.
The what?
The Gay Games.
The world's top homosexual event.
Broadcast to over 70 countries
this year.
You took me for a ride,
you fucking liar!
I'm no fag!
Sorry?
I'm not like you!
Sélime!
Is he serious?
He's on edge. It's nothing.
What is this shit?
He's no homophobe, ok.
We checked.
He visits gay porn sites.
Tell them.
You searched his gear?
Yes, a little.
You searched his gear?
People's sex life is private.
I agree!
I know.
Did he tell you he was gay?
No, not exactly.
My daughter told me.
How does she know?
She got the feeling...
What?
It's like your radar.
That dolphin thing...
Why didn't you just ask him?
I dunno!
Why didn't you talk to us
before screwing up?
I dunno. I thought
maybe he could help us win.
I thought of Jean.
I got busted at a student demo.
The cops smashed my specs.
I couldn't see.
But when they threw Manuel in my cell...
He wasn't yet 20, big dark eyes,
red from the tear gas,
his T-shirt torn,
a gorgeous, muscular chest,
a tight little ass in his jeans...
Why are you telling me this?
Because, even if I've always
desired men,
I had to experience that
to stop lying to myself.
It'll be the same for Sélime.
I hope you're right.
For now, he won't leave his room.
- Hello?
- Put Mom on.
How's life? Banged any Jap girls?
Just put her on.
Here you go.
Hello, son.
- Ok?
- How are you?
Can you buy me a flight home?
Why? You got in a fight again?
No, not at all.
What then?
It's not a normal team.
They don't play in a pool?
That's not the problem.
What is it then?
What's the real problem?
I'll manage, it's ok.
Love you.
Leave it.
Cedricovski!
His spitting image.
It's wild.
Fortunately,
we have very few homosexuals.
Our compatriots
don't want to see
perverted men marry,
as in the West.
It's a disease
that we need to treat.
The next thing we know,
they'll want to marry
parents, brothers,
goats or even vacuum cleaners.
I'd die for a Dyson!
Answer it.
I'll have a smoke. Be right back.
You smoke now?
Yeah.
- Hi, Dadou.
- Hi, babe.
- Ok?
- I miss you.
I wore your shirt today.
I've got your smell all over me.
It's a bad time...
Your perfume's everywhere.
I want you!
Not now, I'm in a hotel corridor.
What would you do to me?
Kiss me?
I'd kiss your neck...
My neck? I love it, it tickles!
Don't stop.
I'd grab your tits...
Grab them, kiss them. Don't stop!
I'd move down
between your thighs...
I'd part them...
My big imp, eat my pussy!
Sorry.
I'll call you back.
Vincent, wait!
Let me explain.
There's no need.
- C'mon, Vincent, please.
- What?
Shit...
Alright...
You know I grew up in a foster home.
It wasn't easy.
At 18, I had to split and...
I ended up on the skids.
I'd go to the pool to shower.
I met Jean and Cédric there.
I trained with the Shrimps and...
- You said you were gay?
- No.
They thought I was.
I'd never been with anyone,
so I might have preferred guys.
I didn't know.
I was a virgin until I met Alice.
It's too late to tell them.
You're straight, so?
You joined us last of all.
After 15 years,
they wouldn't understand.
I dunno.
I'm sick of all these lies...
What lies?
What lies d'you mean, Vincent?
That's right. What lies, Vincent?
Weird...
Right...
You too?
I found a guy nearby too.
We can't jerk off in this dump.
Right, that'd be dumb.
- Where's yours?
- Mine?
Your hook-up.
Not too far from the hotel.
Cool, mine too. Let's go.
No...
They'll see us. We'll get busted.
- Come on!
- No!
It's best to do nothing.
Do nothing?
I can't leave Sélime like that.
So where's yours?
Where is he?
He's...
Where's yours?
Mine's
that way.
Mine's over there.
We'll talk tomorrow.
- Ok, deal.
- Kisses.
Hold on...
What?
Mine's that way too.
Kinda funny, huh?
Yeah, really funny.
- Want some?
- I quit.
Got a secret?
What? No.
Met someone?
No way. But I don't need that.
I just love fucking guys.
Where are you going?
To live my life.
Good night.
Fred, it's dangerous.
They have a problem with women too?
- No, but with...
- What?
With redheads.
Pathetic.
She can't go alone.
Fred, wait.
No.
- Fred, wait.
- No.
Even the Moscow Mule is crap.
I'm into Russians.
They're so well hung.
Yeah...
Never had one?
A Russian? Not really.
You'll have a blast.
Hold on a sec.
- Your hook-up?
- What?
Yes. Shit, he's cancelling!
What a drag!
I wanted to blow a big cock.
I'll go back.
Wait, I'll ask mine if he has a buddy.
- I don't want to disturb you.
- No worries.
- It's not done.
- You'll love it!
It's rude.
This is a bad idea.
Go back then, Joël.
Sure! If we split up, they'll mug us.
Who d'you mean? There's no one around.
You're paranoid.
- Weird, it should be here.
- I knew it.
Four stars on TravelGay.
Five years ago!
I bet the government closed it.
Of course not.
- Fred!
- Come on.
It's as cold as the North Pole!
Fred, he's right. Let's go back, please.
- Please, Fred.
- "Please, Fred!"
I'd love such tiny balls!
Come on.
We'll get them cut off.
At least wait for us.
Fred!
- Fred!
- It's scary.
Drop the rebel act.
We're in danger.
I think this is it.
- Wrong address?
- No, this is it.
I mean, it happens.
Come on. Look.
- Here!
- Listen to me a second.
- What?
- Remember when we met?
Yes, at the pool.
Jean introduced us and you know...
I miss him too.
It's good to know I'm not alone.
Thanks.
Alright, life goes on.
Let's not lose heart.
I'll have some now.
It'll fire you up.
I hope so...
Me first!
It's a big party.
This place is wild for LGBTs.
No one says LGBT now.
So what do you say?
LGBTQQAAIP+.
It's more inclusive.
Hold on, isn't LGBT
Lesbian Gay Bi and Trans?
Yes, then Queer,
Questioning who hesitate
but who reject heterosexual values.
Allies like you.
Asexual.
- Intersex.
- Absolutely!
And Pansexual like me.
What'll you have?
- You speak French?
- A bit.
I speak French too.
Great.
Where did you learn?
We learn at school.
And French guys come here,
so we talk.
You have a lovely accent, anyhow.
- Thanks.
- I love it.
What'll it be, beer or vodka?
Vodka? Ok, vodka.
"Wodka", that's how you say it?
You're a fast learner.
Yes, I am.
What's pansexual?
They sleep with everyone.
Isn't that bi?
Let's get it over with.
Can't you see they're homophobes?
What?
My girlfriend.
Thanks, I speak English.
You do women now?
- What?
- Shut up.
If we survive, I'll murder you.
You like her.
Yeah. I dunno... No.
I won't go back after Tokyo.
I'm moving to Los Angeles.
Why?
To be a woman.
I don't get it.
Aren't you already a...
Not for guys who knew Fredo.
You know,
I've always seen you as a chick.
I swear it's true.
I know I can be clumsy at times but...
for me you're a woman.
And a pretty one.
Not like her.
You are.
You dance better than any girl here,
your clothes and makeup are perfect.
And you have...
a real personality.
You dance, you're strong...
You're Fred, like.
Hold on...
Sorry.
Wait. Fred!
Who is it?
I've been thinking.
We need to talk.
You're a pain.
What if the others do find out?
Can't we talk about it?
We should be open about it.
What?
Either we're together and tell them
or we end it.
Untie me!
Hi there.
Where's Matthias?
In his room?
No, I need to find him.
Why?
I need money to fly back to Paris.
Why fly back?
I'm not into your fag bash.
Answering that?
No.
Is Matthias there?
Call the cops.
Damien and I got baited.
Gay beated!
He knows French.
A little French.
We're counting on you.
Hurry!
The old guy was right!
What now?
We go there.
I remove my makeup,
you untie him...
Let's move it, guys.
Come on!
Untie me!
I'm warning you.
After the cops, lend me the money
and manage alone.
- I'm used to guys who chicken out.
- What?
Chill, that elegant barb
was aimed at me.
Sélime, tell Xavier
he's a stranger to elegance.
Sélime, tell Vincent
his pre-teen voice won't hook a guy.
Think I have a pre-teen voice too?
Who gives a shit?
No, you're so virile.
Fred, slow down, he's plastered.
Just leave me, I'm no use.
Those kids
are better activists than I ever was!
I've betrayed myself.
I'm a fake, an impostor.
I'm a piece of shit!
Fred, help me out here.
Great team spirit.
Drop the act, Matthias, it's over.
What act are you talking about?
Yours!
You're an open-minded guy now?
You just piss us off!
What? I piss you off?
So much.
You tell me that?
After I bust my ass two years with you?
Trying to get you losers
to score a few goals now and then!
Poor baby. You only stay with us
cos you feel responsible
for Jean's death.
A Ryan Gosling butt tattoo
means serious psychological issues.
I didn't wait 25 years to use my butt!
I'll make up for lost time!
Great, a bit of experience
will do you good!
Oh, yeah?
We're French!
Daddy!
Matthias?
What?
Hold on, slow down.
I don't understand.
What is it?
Can you say that again?
Alex, Damien, Vincent, Xavier
and Sélime got arrested. Got that?
Why?
No idea.
The police tell us nothing.
Another screw-up.
The consulate can't help.
Bertrand knows the embassy.
Can he help?
Sure, of course.
- No!
- Yes!
I only translate for them!
Sure, Matthias, no problem.
Bertrand will call now.
Are Fred and Joël ok?
Yes, the problem is the others,
especially Sélime.
I brought him here.
Yes, but it'll be ok.
Let's hope so. Call me, ok.
He's nuts!
One towel?
Thanks a lot, Alex.
It wasn't mine, ok!
- They planted the coke on me.
- Sure.
Wanna add something?
What? No.
No one gets arrested for 3 grams.
Here you do. We're in a detox centre
miles from anywhere.
It was that or jail.
What happens now?
They'll intimidate us.
They already did.
What can happen to us?
We're French citizens.
Think they give a shit?
Toe the line and avoid hassle.
Let's chill, ok.
The embassy will be looking for us.
There must be a mistake.
It's a water polo team off to Tokyo
with no desire to harm your country.
Alright, but...
can they sometimes be excessive
or too demonstrative?
No, they're pretty discreet guys.
Almost boring, right?
Dimitri,
I won't lie. They're very immature.
Ball-busters.
But I'm absolutely sure
they didn't intend to harm your country.
All I know for now is that,
at Deputy Vilonov's request,
they haven't been jailed.
So where are they?
I have no idea.
Once I find out, I'll let you know.
Great. There you go.
Thank you.
Is that all?
- What can I do?
- A bit more.
It's Daddy!
What?
No, that's not Daddy.
It's Daddy.
Not at all. That guy's much fatter.
Yes.
Come on, kids, let's go.
Wait for us, boys.
Isn't Dimitri a friend?
Not really, but he'll check.
It's all we can do.
You don't want to do a thing.
What?
You hate my friends.
- Not true.
- Stop!
You've never been to a game,
never invited them over.
Your Shrimps always go off the rails.
You're a drag, but others can have fun.
- A drag?
- Yes.
Like your game night pals.
- Richard and Véro are a drag?
- Totally!
Steph and Patrick too.
Sorry if they're cultured.
Sorry, but who cares
if Bamako is the capital of Ethiopia.
Addis Ababa!
Unlike your pals,
not everyone's a walking cliché
stuffing gayness in people's faces!
What did you say?
I'm sick of being different
when we want to fit in.
It pisses me off, doing it in my name.
If you, Bertrand Duverney,
are here today in a fancy suit,
in a top job,
if we had kids and married,
it's down to guys like them
fighting homophobia
in heels and pride parades.
That was the only way
to get noticed
to have maybe one chance
of being heard!
Ok, fine.
What does Mr Activist plan to do?
I don't know.
We'll figure it out.
Are you Cédric?
Yes.
You must be Bertrand.
- Who's he?
- No idea.
I'm Bram. I'm...
Joël's cousin.
Pleased to meet you.
Shit, my hands have gone numb!
This can't go on. Let's say something.
Great. What'll you say?
We're not junkies or masons.
Seriously?
What was that?
Time to eat.
- What's this?
- Gross.
Inedible.
- Not eating?
- No.
I'm starving.
Why has no one come for us?
We'll die here.
They won't keep us.
- How long?
- No idea.
For now,
do as Sélime said,
low profile to get out fast.
It just needs some salt.
- It's not bad.
- You disgust me.
Sorry, I don't understand.
He asks why you waste the food.
Sorry, someone tripped me up.
He wants you to eat off the floor.
What?
I can't eat off the floor.
Come here!
He's not gonna do it?
Wait!
Low profile has its limits.
I don't understand.
Stop!
Go back to your seats.
You must be our French guests.
I'm Irina Vilonova,
this centre's director.
We're here by mistake.
We're not drug addicts.
It's a mistake.
We got attacked.
Sorry. Hello.
We just don't want to waste your time.
You already have all these addicts.
We're water polo players
on our way to Tokyo...
You're not here for drugs.
We're not?
So why are we here?
Because you were found kissing him.
He kissed me!
Never mind.
You're like all our residents.
We'll cure you of this disease
that makes you live a debauched life.
The plague of homosexuality.
Arrested for being gay?
Homosexuality isn't a crime here.
But promoting it in public is.
Homosexuals won't pervert our children.
So what's the problem?
Two of them acted obscenely,
but, luckily, defenders of family values
stepped in to uphold the law.
Where are they? Can we see them?
No, not until their trial.
When's that?
She asked when the trial will be.
Unbelievable.
We don't understand the language.
We know no one else here.
Could a lawyer help?
I want an apology first.
From her!
Apologize.
Think of the others.
So you've chosen your side.
No sides, just apologize.
Frédérique, make an effort.
I'm sorry I was such a bitch.
I can be impulsive
and forget my acts have consequences.
There.
Now find them.
A lawyer's no use here.
D'you use those dumb apps?
What apps?
To order sex like a cab.
Says Miss Omnivore.
- What?
- It's French humour. Forget it.
I hate those apps.
I don't use them.
Me neither, being straight.
Good job I'm here.
See them?
- Shit.
- Alex.
It's Alex.
27.5 km.
What d'you mean, 27.5 km?
Maybe at Vosstanovleniye.
What's that?
Probably not a spa.
What did she mean by cure us?
Nothing, forget it.
No, they're maniacs. I saw a report.
They'll brainwash us, exorcize us
and even make us sleep with women.
That's really sick.
I won't get hard.
Think they've been here long?
Hurry, it's lights out soon.
You speak French?
I learned at school.
You're a real water polo team?
Yes.
No, not really.
We're off to the Gay Games.
I'm not.
What are the Gay Games?
Like Eurovision with sexy athletes.
And no crap singers.
They say it's a detox cure,
but it's conversion therapy.
What kind of conversion?
To change sexual orientation.
Change the decor first.
China, the USA, and even Europe does it,
but here...
I didn't know.
Usually, that stuff stays in the family.
It's a local thing
launched by Deputy Vilonov.
So what happens now?
It's a physical expression class.
Like body painting?
He's so gay!
I'm so into him.
What's King Kong saying?
That our civilization has reached
a point of no return.
Today's world has feminized you.
You've been perverted.
He knows because he fell for a man.
Bingo!
His contact...
His muscles...
His sweat...
What a tease.
But it's over.
He was cured.
Now,
thanks to God,
he has a wife and 3 children.
No...
Now, he needs a volunteer.
Sure.
You have to go with him.
No.
No, thanks.
Let's go easy
because you...
Wrestling helps awake
our primal instincts.
It's purely virile.
Total physical domination.
Now we pair up. One guy with him.
In your dreams.
Let's try not to hurt each other.
Like you'd hurt me?
I've done judo...
That guard freaked you out.
Her favourite.
Ask her if she agrees.
What did she say?
10,000, no less.
We maxed out our cards,
we can't.
I know.
But we need her son
to free your friends.
What now?
Your watch.
No way.
Yes.
It's a fake. What do you care?
No, we'd be screwing the old bat.
What do you care?
I'm just honest. I'm left-wing.
I won't rip her off.
Exactly. Hand it over.
Come on.
Go on, give it to her.
We'll buy you 10 others.
- 15.
- Sure.
I mean it.
Thank you.
She thanks you.
We understood.
She can.
Today, for our French guests,
I shall read in French.
Faith can act like a medicine
to treat this disease
of the soul and the body.
We're not sick.
Xavier, isn't it?
Yeah.
Do you believe in God?
With all my soul.
I wanted to be a priest.
To love my brothers.
So you know the Bible says,
"Lying with a man
as with a woman is an abomination."
Leviticus 18:22. Thanks.
Yes, and that's how the Bible guides us.
The Torah or the Qur'an
say the same thing.
I imagine you follow every word,
like in Timothy 2:12,
"Do not let women teach men."
Or Corinthians:
"Women must be silent and submissive."
- Calm down.
- This bitch won't brainwash kids!
That's not faith, loving God
or religion!
Your anger moves me, but...
I'm the wrong target.
I'm not your enemy.
Neither is God
who can free you of your urges.
Free people by locking them up?
Unlike you, our residents are here
of their own free will.
They can leave when they wish.
They and their families trust us
to cure them
and live a normal life.
Two people of the same sex
making love is abnormal?
It's the same as between a brother
and a sister.
It goes against nature.
Why do we scare you?
You don't scare me.
But I'm scared for you.
Because what you call love
is merely desire.
Love is generous.
It is focused on others.
Desire is selfish
and overwhelms you
so you can't tell good from evil.
Have you ever loved, Xavier?
Yes.
Enough to imagine
building up a whole life
with that person?
The good news is
nothing is final.
I can make you strong enough
to fight the urges destroying you
and live the life He imagined for you.
Maybe with a wife and children
one day.
A real family.
But, to get rid of a problem,
you must be brave enough
to admit there is one.
I want to be normal.
I'm sorry.
We're here cos of me.
I keep screwing up lately.
We all screwed up.
I kept turning up at work high.
They fired me.
Why didn't you tell us?
Tell you what?
That I don't care?
That I'm an addict?
That I can't accept Jean's death?
I was afraid.
Afraid you'd judge me
and stop liking me.
But we're a team.
Are you serious?
Matching jackets don't make us a team.
We shouldn't be the Shiny Shrimps
but the Lying Fish.
The straight's laughing?
I'm fucking sick of your little lies.
Alex sniffing coke all day,
you having a girl...
What?
Don't start, you're the worst.
To think I fell
for a selfish coward!
We've been together 5 months,
but we can't say a word to anyone.
As if love meant giving up your freedom.
That's so stupid.
I'm ashamed.
Ashamed of you, ashamed of me,
ashamed of you all.
And Jean must be ashamed of us too.
You've made the right decision, Sélime.
It's not dangerous.
Does it work?
I hope so.
Sometimes so gentle
When life touches me
Like all of us
So gentle then
Sometimes so hard
That every wound
Lasts a long time
Lasts a long time
Men
I love you
Men, I love you
I don't know any who are simple
All those I know are fragile
And difficult
Yes, difficult
Sometimes so funny
Resting on a shoulder
Oh, yes, so funny
With looks that meet
Sometimes so alone
At times they want that
Yes, but so alone
Yes, but so alone
Men
I love you
Men
I love you
Men...
That's it, I have news.
About time.
Ok, here's what I suggest.
Every morning, at 6:45 sharp,
the director, Madam Irina,
goes to her office.
There, she announces
the day's schedule.
Just then,
the staff arrive at the east gate.
Among them, our new friend's son,
Dorofei Bulgakov.
As usual, he goes
to the staff locker rooms.
He'll have 10 minutes
to change and free your friends,
showing them the rear exit escape route.
- Brilliant.
- I guess.
So that's where we wait with the van?
No, the road ends before.
I'll drop you 300 m from the west exit.
You'll have to walk.
And not get spotted.
We're not James Bond!
But he's gay too.
Cut it out, James Bond isn't gay.
Of course he is.
That's bullshit.
Good looks, muscles, Speedos...
He drinks cocktails.
And can't stay with a woman.
Bullshit!
With you, everyone's gay.
Even I'm borderline gay.
Yeah.
No!
First of all,
Bulgakov will go discreetly
to the west wing.
He'll unlock the gate,
avoiding the security cameras.
You'll go and wait nearby.
I'll keep watch from across the road,
ready to pick you up.
At 7:10, Bulgakov's shift begins.
He'll have 5 minutes
to get your friends out,
instead of taking them to the chapel.
Move it, I can't manage!
- What the hell?
- Move!
I'm trying!
He's too strong!
Ok, got them.
We'll end up in jail!
Let's get going!
What about Sélime?
What can we do?
It was his choice.
It's not a choice, they brainwashed him.
We'll save him
if we escape and raise the alarm.
Let's go!
Let's go!
Come on.
Where the hell are they?
I knew we couldn't trust your girl.
She's not my girl, ok.
Once she had you hooked,
she took our dough and his Rolex.
Fake Rolex!
Joël!
What?
What're you doing?
Look what I found!
Screw that.
She said to stay hidden!
Do we obey now?
We're the Shrimps! We're rebels!
We're renegades!
What now, Guevara?
Quiet, you'll get us busted.
Come on, hurry it up!
In the army, I was a marksman.
Spare us the life story.
What's that thing for?
Joël, you'll hurt yourself.
Stop that.
In ACT UP, we'd say,
"Blessed are the mad
for they let light in."
We're good.
We can't see.
Joël!
How did you find us?
A nightmare.
We found this club,
some underground collective...
Where's Sélime?
Sélime!
- Which way?
- Straight on!
Not him!
- What's that?
- A homophobic gay.
I'm ready to shoot.
Violence isn't an answer.
Don't you use violence here?
Sélime, come with us.
Your friend has chosen a braver path.
Shut the fuck up.
Sélime...
Come with us, you can't stay,
it's crazy.
Who the hell are you?
Do you know me?
Know what I really want?
I want to be normal.
I never asked to be different.
To feel this stuff.
Sorry, but being gay
can have its good side too.
Not where I come from.
If you're out, it's hell.
Insulted, beaten up, spat at every day.
I don't want that life.
I knew that too,
but you find the guts to stop hiding.
I can't do it to my family.
My mother...
My brother...
They couldn't understand.
They wouldn't.
We'll take care of you, ok?
We'll help you.
We can put you up if you want.
Come on.
Please.
There's a police roadblock.
Meet me across the lake.
Go, if you want to help me.
Matthias!
He's made his mind up. Let's go.
Go.
Just go!
Fred!
No!
Find her!
Find her! Look!
She's over here!
Come back inside.
Come on now.
Don't move!
It's cracking.
Lie down.
Lightest in front.
Gently.
We're good!
Come on!
Grab my hand.
I can't reach it!
They condemned themselves
by fleeing redemption!
Go on, Damien.
Come on!
A bit further!
- Grab him!
- Come on!
Got him!
Now pull!
C'mon, pull!
What did I say?
Don't you understand? Get inside!
Get inside, I said! Enough!
Come on!
Matthias!
Hold tight.
Pull!
Nearly there.
Come on!
It's hard work hooking a guy.
- Where are they?
- No idea.
I knew it wouldn't work.
No one made you come.
As if I'd leave you two alone.
And not help.
I'll try to reach Joël.
Your cousin misled us.
Why?
He finds life hard enough already...
No, believe me...
We're all stuck
with embarrassing relatives.
- They're over there.
- Aren't you coming?
My struggle is here.
But be visible.
Make noise.
Because silence is death.
I'm counting on you, Joël.
Thank you so much.
Bye!
Thanks for the gear!
- Let's go.
- Where?
Just trust him.
Move it!
Still nothing?
The tower tells me
we have 5 minutes visibility left.
Joël isn't answering.
If the snow traps us,
we won't be able to help them.
I'm sure they'll be here any second.
You've said that for 20 minutes now.
Thibaut, let's go.
It's them!
- Shit.
- Don't move.
Look.
Shit...
What do we do?
If we get out, they'll arrest us too.
Think of our family.
Try to understand.
They're my family too.
Got a bag of cash on you?
We have to go.
Wait!
I have an idea.
- Is that the plane?
- Yeah.
That jet?
Joël, you're the best!
What a crap trip.
Who are you?
I'm Vladimir Duvershenko.
- Who?
- Assistant to his excellency,
Deputy Vilonov!
Deputy Vilonov?
Your name, officer?
Sergeant Polichev.
How can I help you, Mr Deputy?
Deputy Vilonov wants to thank you
for being so vigilant
and enabling the arrest
of these dangerous foreigners.
Thank you.
You idiots!
You were fooled.
Is it a coincidence these homosexuals
ended up in this dump of a town?
They escaped...
Interrupt me one more time
and I swear on the domes
of St Basil's cathedral
you'll serve in Siberia
for the rest of your life.
It's a Western trap!
They sent them
to infiltrate our prisons
and spread the virus of homosexuality.
Fortunately,
Deputy Vilonov has had
the brilliant idea
of exfiltrating them
before the Western media find out.
Sorry, we weren't informed...
You think you're the smartest?
Now get them on that plane!
Don't move!
I'm sorry,
but we can't take orders from a deputy,
however respectable.
Do you really want
to make things worse, officer?
I'm very sorry, but
I need my superiors' agreement.
Don't panic,
but he refuses to release them.
- Why?
- We can't give him orders.
I swear,
we'll get the best lawyer,
but we have to think of the kids.
At 3, we board the plane.
1...
2...
Hold this.
Don't you salute your deputy?
Better than that!
Come on, let's go.
Calm down, no running.
Welcome to Shrimp fucking Airlines!
You're totally crazy!
He's the crazy one. You animal!
Whose jet is this?
Bram's.
It's just a rental.
Sorry, but who is this?
I'm...
I met Bram at the Croatian Gay Games,
remember?
Come on...
No.
Bram!
Who makes a good living
as a trader.
You two are together?
Why didn't you say?
Because I...
I was ashamed. Sorry.
Ashamed of him?
It's not that simple.
Joël Blanchard,
ashamed of a hot millionaire?
It didn't match my political beliefs.
I mean, I'm left-wing.
I'm sorry, my love.
No way...
Champagne all round.
- His own cousin?
- Like in The Crown.
Got a problem?
Bike it to Tokyo.
No, it's ok.
Good. Let's go, baby.
I don't deserve to go.
Ok...
Who wants to keep the straight?
We love him, despite his weird tastes.
On one condition...
Never call me Django again.
Forgive me.
- Come here, guys.
- Guys?
Sorry. And Fred.
We'll eat you from the neck down!
The Shiny Shrimps are in town!
Subtitles by Ian Burley
Subtitling by CINELI DIGITAL
Someone needs to stop Clearway Law.
Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.