Krampus: The Christmas Devil (2013) - full transcript

[chiming]

[piano playing ♪]

[children singing]

[Narrator] Christmas.

A time of good will and cheer

celebrated by many all over the world.

But, as Santa delivers presents

to all of the good
girls and boys,

there is an all but forgotten
tale of the yule Lord, Krampus.

The Christmas Devil
and executioner of the wicked,

is also the secretive brother
of St. Nick,



whose job is the termination
of the lives of children

that have done unexplainable
evil deeds

without care or repercussion.

But, as the new lists
of bad children are generated,

Krampus only has
until the stroke of midnight

on Christmas Eve
to complete his tasks.

And so begins our story.

[distorted singing]

[Jeremy, muffled]
Let me go!

Help!

♪ ♪

[yelling] Ahh!

Ahh!

Ahh!



Ahh!

[rock music ♪]

♪ ♪

[ominous ambience]

Listen, I told you.
It's not like him.

We don't want him
to end up like the others.

[door squeaks]

Jeremy!

Jeremy! Where have you been?
- Was that Jeremy?

Yeah, he-he just came in.
He's upstairs.

[creepy Christmas music ♪]

♪ ♪

Jeremy, where were you?

Jeremy, are you all right?
Jeremy, answer your mother.

Jeremy, answer your mother.
[phone ringing]

[fading]
Jeremy, answer your mother.

Answer your mother.
[ringing continues]

[goth-rock music ♪]

Hey, Captain.
Another one?

All right, I'll be in
in ten minutes.

♪ ♪

[coffee pouring]

[Rebecca]
You're up early.

What's wrong?
There was another.

Where?
Not far.

[sighs]
And right before Christmas.

I can't even imagine.

I'm going to be late.

Duff, wait.
Just make sure you come home.

[sighs]

[goth-rock music ♪]

♪ ♪

[engine shuts off]

[door closes]

[door squeaks]

[sighs]

[Captain Farabee] Yeah?

Good morning, Captain.
How are you doing, kid?

Good.
All right, what do we have?

Same area. Concentrated here.
Cambridge Springs.

That's where all the kids
are coming up missing.

Mm-hmm.
Centrally located, obscure.

It makes sense.

You know, it's been ten years

since we've saw something
like this in this region.

What are you saying?
Are you saying serial killer?

Or something like that.
Take a look at this.

Toronto.
Uh-huh.

Kids coming up missing.
Body parts found.

Traced back to a year ago.

Same time all of these
abductions happened.

The same thing happened
ten years earlier.

It's been all over the world.

There's something bigger here

than we can ever imagine
going on.

All over the world?
Yeah.

Looking all over the world?

[sad music ♪]

Does this have anything to do
with your own abduction maybe?

Does it?
That's a long time ago, kid.

Does it?

I remember that night.

Your father and I were working

undercover trying to get
these bad guys from Buffalo,

and your mom called.

Like she called
a million times before.

And he went home
like a million times before.

And that's the last time
I saw him alive.

He was a good man.
Yeah, he was.

And he was a good cop.
Me, Crazy Harry.

[chuckles] The three of us
were inseparable.

Grab some men, scour the area.

I'll assemble a team tonight.

We'll hit it first thing
in the morning.

We'll check all of those regions
out there

that we've been talking about.

We're gonna get him this time.

I want this fucker.

We'll get him this time,
Captain.

I know. There's one more thing.

Yeah.
That scumbag, Brian Hatt.

Yeah?

He was released
from prison yesterday.

How could he get out?

It's been ten years.
- I know it's been ten years.

I don't know, a loophole?

These scumbag lawyers,
they don't give a shit.

He said he was going
to come for you.

I want you to watch your ass,
do you understand me?

I'll watch my back.
You're a good cop.

Your dad would be proud of you.
Thank you.

Thanks for the head's up.
You be careful.

We'll get him, Captain.

I want that fuck!

[door closes]

[chattering]
[rock music ♪]

Hey, Jack and Coke, please.

[ice rattling]

Thank you.

Hey, can you get these guys

comin' in a Bud Light
and Miller Light?

♪ ♪

Hey guys.

Grab your beer and meet me
at the table.

Have a seat.

[John]
You wanted to see us?

All right,
we've got a situation here.

The dead kid from the lake,
right?

Yeah, I've been chasing
these missing kids forever.

That-that's all I do any more.

It's what I've been working on
my entire career.

Look, I know where he is.
At least the area anyway.

The captain has given us

full authorization to use
whatever force necessary.

Now, if this guy
follows the same pattern,

he's going to stop
Christmas Eve night,

and we're going to lose him.

So, we have to get him
right away.

We're here to help, Duff.

You take this so personally,
man.

It's a job, right?
It's an important job, right?

But there's nothing
that any of us can do,

ever, to bring those
dead babies back.

Okay.
You guys need to hear this.

I was a, uh, I was a bad kid.

I did things...I wish I could
take back and I can't.

One day, I was walking to school
and I got abducted.

I don't remember much.
I must've been knocked out.

I was in and out
of consciousness.

But what I do remember
is being terrified.

When I came to,
I was under water,

in a bag, in a frozen lake.

I don't know how I got out.

But, somehow
I got out of the water

and as I was running home

not sure if he was going
to catch me again,

if I'd ever see
my parents again,

I promised myself
that I'd change my ways.

Guys, it was 30 years ago.
This is the same guy.

[Bob] You got taken, too?
- What do you mean, "too?"

It's just a dream.

A reoccurring dream
that keeps coming back, man.

[John] So, do you think
it's the same guy?

Yeah, it's-it's the same M.O.,

the same timing,
the same motive.

It's him.

All right, one more thing, guys.

Um, Brian Hatt got released
from prison yesterday.

Some lawyer got him off
on a technicality, I'm not sure.

[Bob]
What? I know.

[Bob sarcastically chuckles]

It's bullshit, but he's out.
Now, wait a minute.

He threatens you,

he threatens your family
and somehow this guy gets out?

Yeah, I know, look.

I don't know the details
right now.

He just got out,

he's going to want to revel
in his new found freedom.

He's not going
to cause us a problem.

Right now, we have
to concentrate on this.

We put him on the back burner,
all right?

All that time, all that work,
all that energy.

Wasted.

I know, I know.
Couple more beers, please?

Thanks, baby.
Mm-hmm.

All right, guys.
Here are your packets.

They have GPS coordinates.
Protocols.

Tomorrow morning we meet
at seven a.m. at the station.

Be ready to go, okay?
[John] You got it.

Okay. All right, Duff.
Hey, make this your last one.

I need you fresh in the morning.

[country music ♪]

Hey, Duff.
Yeah.

What's up, buddy?
[sighs] Did you see his face?

No.

He's...It's-it's...
I-it's not human.

Yeah, I know...
Tomorrow, man.

Tomorrow.
All right.

♪ ♪

So, what's the deal with Duffin?

As far as?
Why's he do this?

Didn't his dad leave him
some fortune?

He came into some money.

Something from his grandfather,
from what I heard.

But, his dad did the job
the same way, man.

Wasn't for the money.

And what's up with this ex con?

Brian Hatt?
Yeah.

Yeah, guy's a shit bag,
all right.

He's an armed robber.
Um, I was working him on that.

And then, he takes a kid.

Kidnaps a kid for ransom,
that's when Duff came in.

And it's--I don't know,
it was a while back.

Uh, Duff has him
on this rape case,

and then, you know,
evidence was thin, it was weak,

didn't really hold up in court.

We should probably
get out of here.

All right.

So, rich guy with a vendetta.
Always a dangerous combination.

♪ ♪

[footsteps approaching]

♪ ♪

[Santa Claus]
It's the 22nd.

You have two days left.

Scratch Brad Myers
off the naughty list.

He's gone good on us.

Sean Roberts, Heather Duffin,

move them to the top
of the list.

Top priority. Do you understand?

[Krampus, hoarse] Yes, Nicholas.
- Are you okay?

Yes.

Okay, remember,
Sean Roberts and Duffin.

Top of the priority list.
I'll see you on the eve.

All right, my brother.

[door opens]

[ominous ambience]

[door closes]

[corkscrew squeaks]

[corkscrew squeaks]

[ghostly sounds]

[techno music ♪]

♪ ♪

[lock clicks]

[echoes of children
playing and laughing]

[continued echoes of children
playing and laughing]

[dark music ♪]

Jeremy!

Go.

I want this motherfucker,
do you understand me?

You get him.
[fading] You get him.

♪ ♪

[chamber clicks]

It's you or me.

[gun clicks]

[sighs]

♪ ♪

[gun clicks]

[dark ambience]

♪ ♪

[ambience]

Hey, I saw you take $20. That's cheating.
- I-I did not.

Yes, you did.

I'm not playing this stupid game anymore.
- [Sean's Mom] Aw, come--

What the heck?
Why do you guys want to fight?

I'm sorry, kids.

There's somebody outside.

[creepy music ♪]

[Sean's Mom]
Let me see.

No, it's okay.
I don't see anybody.

[phone ringing]
They were just there.

Probably just a shadow.

[phone continues to ring]
Hello?

Okay.
Sean, can you take me home?

Yeah.

[Sean's Mom]
Come right back.

[tense ambience]

♪ ♪

[distant chatting]

Well, bye, Sean.
Bye.

♪ ♪

[bells jiggling]

[bells jiggling]

♪ ♪

[John breathing heavily]

[John] It's too early for this.

I need more coffee.

[Jeremy]
Guys, get your weapons prepped.

Magazine. Magazines.

[intense music ♪]

[snow crushing under footsteps]

♪ ♪

[branch breaks]

[whispering] This is the lake

where they found the body
last night of the kid.

Couple of fishermen
were out here and found it.

There's a bunch of abandoned
houses out here and caves.

I think he's holed up
in this area.

Let's go around and see
what we can find.

We'll work our way up to the
area where he was taken.

All right, let's go.

♪ ♪

[creepy howling]

Hey boss, you're going to want
to look at this.

[Jeremy]
What do you got?

Too fresh to be from last night.

[distorted screeching]

[Bob] Duff, this is getting dragged
away from the lake.

All right,
let's follow the trail.

[tense ambience]

[distorted rewind-sound]

[distorted rewind-sound]

What is that?

It's him, it's him.
[Jeremy] Open fire!

[rock music ♪]

Where the fuck did he go?
Did you guys hit him?

Get a magazine.
Get a magazine.

Come on guys.

Spread out. Let's go.

[intense ambience]

♪ ♪

[distorted whooshing]

[Jeremy groans]

Duff?

Duff?

Duff?

[chain swinging]

♪ ♪

[distorted rewind-sound]

What in God's name?

[distorted rewind-sound]

[gunfire]

♪ ♪

[thump]

[intense stomping]

[snaps]

[water dripping]

[whimpering, crying]

[girl]
No, no.

[ambience]

[crying] No.

[panting]

No.

No!

[crying] No.

[hoarse] You just made the list.

[goth-rock music ♪]

[girl crying] No!

[screams] Fuck you!

[slashing sounds]

[beating heart]

[girl continues to cry]

[slurping]

[hoarse] I know your face.

[ambience]

[papers rustling]

[intense ambience]

[goth-rock music ♪]

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

[giggles]

What the fuck, brother?
Play time was two days ago.

You're doing this now?

[clapping]
Wake up!

[girl crying]

Get your clothes on.
Run!

Have a Merry Christmas!

[breathing heavily]

[ambience]
[engine turns over]

[car revs]

[gasps]

Come on, Captain, pick up.
Pick up.

Captain. We--it's fucked up.

We found him, man, we found him.
He got us, man.

He gutted...He gutted Norris,
and Walker, too.

He caught us, we found him.

He took us to his lair.
I escaped.

I'm coming to your office.

You got to send out agents
right now.

You got to send them
out to my location.

Yeah, they're dead.
They're dead.

Send them out.
I'm coming in right now.

[breathing heavy]

Oh, fuck.

Brother, I'm sorry.
We've got work to do.

Who's in the box?
I see that.

Help me.
- Help you?

Help you?
But you were bad.

You see that guy there?
Yes.

He's going to hurt you
because you were naughty.

I'm sorry.

You know what you did?

You sniveling little shit.

You hurt and you tortured
a poor, defenseless little animal.

And for that, you should die.
I should kill you myself.

However, there's one more
little brat

in this town that's more fucked
up than you are.

Well, kid, your Christmas
present this year

is going to be me allowing you
to go free and live.

But if you ever do
something like this again,

he is going to terminate
your life.

You'll never see
another Christmas.

Do you understand?
- Yes, sir.

[goth-rock music ♪]

Go!

♪ ♪

Time is short.

And the naughties
must be punished.

We have more pressing issues
this eve.

The girl.
Yes, the girl, Heather Duffin.

I know how you hate
doing the things

that you do to the girls,
but she's been very naughty.

Well, let's just say
all those kids

that have been
disappearing locally,

all of them
weren't on your list.

That blood, the cops found
down by the lake,

that wasn't from you, was it?

[hoarse] No.

That's why I let
that little shit go.

She's more important
and she must be taken care of.

It's six o'clock now.

You have six hours
'til midnight.

You need to take care of this,
my brother.

All right.

I have to attend to
my own tasks now.

No telling what those elves
are doing in my absence.

But you, brother, cheer up!
Tomorrow is Christmas!

[somber music ♪]

[tires screech]

Gil, it's all fucked up.
- Are you okay, kid?

I don't know.
- All right.

It's going to be all right.
- Walker and Norris, they're dead.

I know, I know.

Let's get you in my office,
okay?

Okay.
Come on.

It's going to be okay.

I don't know what the fuck happened.
- I know. Are you all right?

Yeah.
- Okay.

I think so.
- All right, can you breathe?

Yeah, yeah.
I think I got knocked out.

I'm sure you got knocked out.
- I don't know what happened.

That's okay, we'll figure it out.
- You got to--Is a team out there?

I'll take care of--
- You've got to get somebody out there.

I'll take care of the team,
I want to get you into my office
right now, okay?

Before anybody sees you, okay?

All right.
- We're going to go in here.

Okay.
- Take it easy.

It's all fucked up.

Hey, we found evidence
of another abduction.

We found--
- Listen to me.

We found him and we saw him.
- You're-you're bleeding.

Your head is bleeding.
- It's-It's not mine.

I don't think it's my blood.
- Who?

Who? What? Whose blood is it?
- Walker and Norris, look.

Okay, okay.
- Look, we found
another abduction.

We saw him out there
in the woods.

Okay.
- We opened up on him.

We opened up on him, man,
he didn't-it didn't hurt him.

All right.
- He came and he took us.

Okay, we're gonna go back.
- He's taken us out.

We got to go back.
We got to go back.

We will go back.
- Let's get the team.

Okay, we will go back.
You need to sit down.
- Look, I saw him.

I saw him.
- Sit down.

It's the same, it's him.
- Okay.

From when I was a kid.
I remember. It was him.
- O-okay.

It was him.
- All right.

We gotta go. We gotta go get him.
- Listen, shh.

There's a team out there,
we gotta go.

We're gonna go. We're gonna go.
- Let's go.

I promise you, we're gonna go.
- No, we gotta- we gotta go right now.

Okay, listen, I promise you.
- No, he's still there.

Okay, listen to me.
- We gotta go fucking get him.

Goddamnit, listen to me!

I want your gun and your badge
right now, that's what I want.

No.
[rapidly] No, no, no...

Listen, he's there.
We can get him, he's there.

We--I know where he is.
I know where he is.

Listen to me.

Give me the gun and give me
the badge for now.

[Jeremy panting]
I know what's best for you.

I know what's-- - shh--
Give me the gun and the badge.
- But just for now.

But just--
- Shut up.

Just--Give it back, okay?
[stuttering] Just for right now.

Okay, just for right now.
I'm just going to get my head together.

Okay.

Okay, good. But we gotta go out there,
we gotta go, all right.

Let me-let me get my head clear.
Okay, we're gonna go right now.

Let me get-Let me get a shower.
Let me get a shower.

Sure.
- Let me get washed up,
then we gotta go, we gotta get--

We gotta get out there
before he flies.

[door shuts]

[church harmony music ♪]

♪ ♪

[police chatter]

[key jingles]
[beeps]

[car turns on]

[metal music ♪]

♪ ♪

Ahh!

[breathes out]

[Sabrina]
...Two days before...

[hard rock music ♪]

How're you doing?
Not too good, Harry.

[Sabrina] ...Your local home of news,
weather, and sports.

I'm Sabrina Michaels
with breaking news.

Christmas terror in Cambridge.

It has been confirmed that
two officers were killed early

this morning outside of
the Cambridge Springs area.

Officers Walker and Norris
along with an unnamed detective

were issuing an arrest warrant

in connection with the recent
string of missing children.

Captain Gil Farabee could not
be reached for comment,

but issued the
following statement.

[Captain Farabee]
Due to the nature and sensitivity

of this case, and to the loss
of two of our finest officers,

we regret we're unable to speak

about this ongoing
investigation at this time.

Our hearts...
- What's this all about?

...and prayers are with
our fellow officers,

their families
and their friends.

The perpetrators will be
brought to justice.

There will be a full report

of this investigation
on Channel Nine News at eleven.

In lighter news,

it wouldn't be Christmas
without "A Christmas Story."

The 1983 movie that became

an instant holiday classic
thanks to its winning cast...

Look, kid, you can't keep

beating yourself up
over this, huh?

It's the job.

You knew the risk
when you took this job, right?

They knew the risk.
I knew the risk.

Your dad, he knew the risk.

Your dad-your dad was one
of the best cops I ever knew.

Yeah, he was.
Don't tell Gil that.

[chuckles]

Norris and Walker, they took the
risk and they helped you.

And they knew
what they were doing.

That's the job.
That's what we do, okay?

Do you get this?
Are you listening to me?

Do you understand
what I'm saying?

Do you know how it
could eat you up?

Do you know where your life
could go if you don't?

Huh?
- Yeah.

I'm always there for you
if you ever need me, okay?

Do you understand?
Yeah.

Do you understand?

[phone ringing]

It's Rebecca.
I got to take this.

Go ahead, talk.

Hey honey.
Where are you?

I just heard what happened.
I'm fine.

I'm having a beer at Harry's.

I have been freaking out,
why haven't you called me?

I'm fine, I just stopped here
to clear my mind.

Okay, I just wanted to know
you were okay.

I've been worried sick.
What are you guys up to?

Uh, I-I just, um, I'm baking
cookies and Heather's,

uh, wrapping presents.
Um, are you at Harry's alone?

Not anyone I want to be with.
Another cop, Dave the asshole.

I-I told you about him.

Yeah.

Just do what you need to,
but we're here for you.

Um, I...I have a surprise to
tell you when I see you.

I love you, too.

Let me know when you're
on your way, okay?

[sighs]

Come on, guys,
leave him alone, huh?

Gentlemen,
to our fallen friends.

Here, here.
To Norris and Walker.

What's the matter, Duff?

Too good to toast
for our friends?

[Jeremy] I was there.
- Oh, yeah, right.

We know you were there.

[whispers]
And where were you ten years ago

for the rest of them?

Enough!
Seriously, guys.

I've got customers in here,
okay?

You think I give a shit
about customers, Harry?

You know what I care about
right now?

Four dead cops, Harry.
Four good cops.

And for what?
Mr. Hunch over here.

[laughs] Woo!

And what are you telling him,
Harry?

Mr. Washed Up Fucking Beat Cop?
Huh?

But you know what I do know?

Is you've got a pretty wife.

Maybe you and I should just--
I don't know, Harry.

But I've got to take a piss.
[patron] Harry, kitchen.

Get the fire and...
What's going on back here?

I think dad will really like it.

Oh, I think he'll love it.
You did great, honey.

[ominous ambience]

Uh, hi, can I help you?

Hi, um, sorry to bother you
on Christmas Eve.

We're friends of your husband's
from the department.

We've got a present for you.
[Heather] Mom, who is it?

Uh, friends of your father, hon.

You said you had something
for him?

Yeah.

[whimpers]
I'm sorry it's not wrapped.

Get that bitch. Hey.

[whistles]

[goth-rock music ♪]

[Rebecca]
What do you want?

You know who I am?

Take whatever you want, okay?
Just take it.

Okay, I'll take whatever I want.

Oh wait, I don't see what I want

because what I want is ten years
of my life back.

I want the ten years
that your whore dog,

scum-sucking, mother-humping
husband took from me.

Ten years.

Your man's a piece of shit,
you know that?

A real piece of shit.
You know what he said?

You know what he said?

He said I raped a little girl.

I mean, he's right,
I did, but still.

You son of a bitch.

[crying]

Be careful, Ms. Duffin.

Be careful, or Santa ain't
gonna bring you nothing.

Tie her up.

[Rebecca crying]

[soft rock music ♪]

[door slams]

♪ ♪

What do you want for Christmas?

[knife plunging]
[goth-rock music ♪]

[rock music ♪]

[beer bottle breaks]

[grunts]
[Dave] Yeah!

[laughing] Come on, Duffin!

Get up!

Yeah, I've been waiting
all night for this one.

Come on!

Yeah.

After I get done fucking you up,

I'm going to go home
and fuck your pretty wife.

Hey Harry!

[gags]

Oh, hey Harry. Hi, boss.

Just having some fun.
Jeremy, get up.

[Captain Farabee]
Jeremy, come on, go home.

Go home.
All good, guys.

Jeremy, you didn't see
anything tonight.

You were home all night.
We got this.

[chuckles]

Hey genius, now you're going to
see what a real beat cop does.

[swoosh]

[muffled crying]

I'm going to take your gag down,
but if you scream,

I'm going to make sure that you
scream for other reasons.

Okay?

All right.
Okay, okay.

Hi.

Now, I'm going
to ask you something.

You tell me the truth,
all right?

Do you have any milk?
Milk?

No?

Okay.

All right.

[belches]

Sorry, I think I back-washed.

You are very good, by the way.
Way to a man's heart.

[Rebecca crying]

[gurgles]

Where's your husband?
Your husband.

Where's your husband?
Where's your husband?

Where's your husband?
I don't know.

No. You don't know?

All right, okay.

[screaming]
Where is your husband?

I don't know.
Damn woman.

That usually works.

Oh, for God's sake.

Don't judge me, lady.

[scoffs]

What do you think of me?
[speaking Spanish]

Yeah, all right.

You believe in God?

You think people are born
the way they are?

Manifest destiny?

Let me ask you something,
all right?

Let me ask you something.

Do you know what it's like to be

afraid of the very people
who are supposed to protect you?

You know what it's like
to tremble

when you hear their footsteps?

People that are supposed
to be taking care of you?

Do you know what it's like to be

naked and chained to a wall when
you're seven goddamn years old?

Bleeding from places you don't
even want to think about?

Well, neither do I because
I made all that shit up.

But it's good shit,
I got to remember that.

You're sick.
You're sick.

Oh, hell, Rebecca,

some people are just born
fucked up and you can't fix 'em.

I think it's time I showed you
my tattoo.

He's been up there a long time,
man.

Go check on him, make sure
he's not deflowering the girl.

I swear to God if you touch
her-- I swear to God.

You swear to God, yeah, yeah.

Hey, keep her quiet.
Shut her up!

What is it?
I think he's outside.

[gun cocks]

Shh.

[ominous ambience]

[footsteps]

♪ ♪

Your daddy knows how much
I love little girls.

[Heather panting]

[gasps]

[gunfire]

[empty gun clicks]

[screams]

[choking]

[hoarse]
You have been naughty.

Heather, what's wrong?

Are you okay?

He's over there.

Are you all right?
You stay here.

[exhales]

Brian Hatt.

What the fuck?

[muffled scream]

[gunshots]

Heather, where's your mother?
- Inside.

How many people are in there?
- One more guy.

One more, are you sure?
Come on.

Stay right here.

When I let you know,
you run up to your room

and lock the door, okay? Stay here.
[breathes audibly]

[quiet shot]

Okay, baby.

Go upstairs, lock your door,
honey.

[goth-rock music ♪]

Oh, I'm sorry.

[crying]

Did they hurt you?
- I'm fine.

I'm so sorry.

[crying]

It's okay, baby.

It'll all go away.

Everything will be okay.

Everything will be okay.

[soft music ♪]

He's here!
- What?

He's here.
- Who? What?

Who's here?
Duff?

Duff, who's--
- It's him, it's him.

He takes bad kids.

We have 'til midnight.

He's still got--

He's still got 12 minutes.

He's after me, he's...

[rock music ♪]

Heather.
- Heather.

[cries out]

[screams]

[ominous ambience]

[hoarse]
Merry Christmas, Jeremy.

[distorted sounds]

[distorted sounds continue]

♪ ♪

[screaming]
Heather!

Heather!

[fading]
Heather!

Heather!

Heather!
Heather!

[whispering]
Heather.

Heather.

Heather.

[police sirens approaching]

[police officer] One-Alpha-Forty-two.
One-Alpha-Forty-two.

[dispatcher]
One-Alpha-Forty-two, go ahead.

[police officer] Officers on the scene,
hold the air.

Repeat, hold the air.

[heartbeat]

[radio static] Officer almost there.
ETA, two minutes.

[ominous ambience]

[thud]

♪ ♪

[filmmaker] Action.

Can I help you?

I was gettin' ready
to knock.

[laughter]

Hi.
How can I help you?

I'm sorry, is there no knock?

[laughter]

♪ ♪

[filmmaker]
Is that too far away?

When he was over there
he's like...

[laughter]
Somewhere over here.

♪ ♪

I met Heather...
[laughter]

...who's now Rebecca.

I knew a Rebecca once...

[laughter]

♪ Do, do, do, do ♪

[indistinct singing]

♪ ♪

[laughter]

[filmmaker]
Cut.

I fuckin' hate Tuesdays.

♪ ♪

[inaudible]

Ain't this some shit?

[chuckles]

Go lock the door.

So that he gets paid...
a dollar.

This is it for the whole movie.

This is just for today.

Ain't it good?

Not unpaid actor.

It's mine...

...no matter what happens.

So nobody gets it.

♪ ♪

[chuckles]

Fuckin' A.

Well... garbage comes
and picks up at... 6:30?

Yeah.

Ain't the first time.
- Ain't the last time.

We'll call
the insurance company...

...call the union.

They disappeared.

I gotta hire three more cops.
Shit.

[both laugh]

Pour it again.
[laughs]