Kiss Me You Fucking Moron (2013) - full transcript

KISS ME YOU FUCKING MORON

Why am I here?

I don't know.

Maybe because everything
inside me is liquid.

And I want to be whole again.

I don't know.

Maybe because I need your help.

To move on, I mean.

When I don't want to.

It's as if there's nothing inside me
but small, shattered fragments.

I told him so the last time.



I said maybe he shouldn't return
if he was only going to leave.

He walks down the final steps and out
the door. Then nothing but silence.

Thank you.

Okay.
Did you write the text yourself?

- Yes.
- Nice text.

- Thank you.
- How old are you?

Seventeen.

Almost eighteen.

Right.

I know this is what I want.

I'm afraid you're a bit young.

We're looking for someone
with experience.

You might not have
enough experience.

- Here's the star.
- Tale! How did it go?



- Not too well.
- No?

But what about your lovely text?
What did they say? Didn't they like it?

They said I needed more experience.
That I was too young.

- I didn't even get to the second round.
- Oh, my darling! But you...

You're still really good.
She's really good, right?

- My baby.
- I'm tired. I think I'll go to bed.

I've longed for you. Done everything
I can to make you see who I really am.

How hard is it supposed to be anyway?
I've thought about you -

- as I lay all alone in
my doghouse at night.

But now I want you to be mine.
Do you want to be my owner?

Daddy rabbit says I can't play
with you, cause you're a dog.

We can't get married.

You even peed in our carrot garden.

- I like honey, baby.
- I like carrots.

- I like bones!
- Yes, he does!

- I like to eat bananas.
- Na, na, bananarama.

- I like hay, that's what I say.
- Every single day.

And Leirfjord is the best,
and Leirfjord...

Isn't it Leirfjord?

- Fuck this. I can't wear this cap.
- Huh? Why not?

I look like a cow giving birth to me.

- Lock up when you leave, will you?
- Okay.

Hi. May I have a bottle of wine?

Yeah.

Well, what do you think?

- Will the critics slaughter me?
- No, it's nice.

- You think so?
- It really hit me in the guts.

Do any photography? Art student?

- No, I'm an actor.
- Me too.

Well, it's just amateur theatre.

Mainly revues and so on.

Right, well...

I mean, if you want a challenge,
all you have to do is go for Jon Fosse.

World-famous playwright. Written over
thirty plays. A contemporary Ibsen.

Just a bit sexier than that.

Yeah, I've heard of him.

Lars? Alcohol?

- You see who he's with?
- He looks familiar.

He's an actor.

Lars Nykvist. He's played
in everything worth seeing lately.

He could play Hamlet chewing
a dildo and still win an Oscar.

'¤We haven't seen each other for ages.
Now we meet here," -

- "in a gloomy autumn, in a churchyard. "

"And right after I've thought
about you, longed for you. "

"When I lie in bed, or on the sofa," -

- "I can feel your presence. You lie close
to me. I put my arms around you. "

"It's true. I've often wondered
whether you can tell" -

- "that you're lying close to me,
I mean. "

"Can you?"

- It's super nice.
- But isn't it a bit depressing?

Churchyard, New Norwegian.

- It can hardly get any worse.
- No, I agree. Who's written it?

Jon Fosse. Don't you know
who Jon Fosse is?

- He's a contemporary Ibsen.
- Translated into over forty languages.

He's won more than thirty major awards.
Commander of the Order of St. Olav.

National Order of Merit Knight.

We're really pretty lousy.

- Could we even stage a play by him?
- Do we really wanna start all over?

- From scratch?
- No thanks.

I'm the prompter.
My job would be a lot harder.

It'll be okay with a bit more work.

It's not that what we've
done before was bad.

But it's old news. Wouldn't it
be cool to do something new?

- We're playing for kids who hate drama.
- That's not the point.

It's about challenging ourselves.

Nora's wearing a freaking cow
on her head.

You can do better. We all have more
to give than we've given so far.

Imagine, Jon Fosse!

I'm sure it'll be absolutely magical.

We could get an experienced actor
to direct us.

- And it's damn sexy.
- Yeah, it's real sexy.

Do you wanna be sexy?

Yeah.

- Lars Nykvist?
- Yep.

I'm Tale Christensen, and I represent
the Urias amateur theatre group.

We're staging a play by Jon Fosse,
"Fall Dream". We were going to...

- Autumn.
- Huh?

"Autumn Dream".

If you runts wanna stage Fosse,
God himself, you should, -

- and this is just a suggestion,
try to get the title right.

We need someone to help us.
An actor.

That's out of the question.

But let me finish. We need someone
to challenge us. You're a great actor.

One of the best.

- What do I care? Find someone else.
- But there is no one else.

Hello?

Hey, there are lots
of great lines in it.

"No, this is awkward. Oh dear.
You mustn't say everything. "

"The worst thing I know is when
people are so free, so grand," -

- "and talk about everything. "

- Man: "I agree completely. "
- Okay. Hey...

- You gonna read the whole play?
- I'll go on until you change your mind.

I'm not gonna change my mind!

Why are you here? What do you want
from me? Can't you just leave me alone?

Go home!

"Then you were there, with your love
and your death. " Pause. Looks at her.

"I've missed you. It's true. "
Woman:

"I've missed you too. "
Pause. Man:

"But we don't know each other really. "

- Have you understood a single word?
- Yes, it's...

Shut up. Don't even answer.
This is just silly.

Tell me why I'd come here,
turn my life upside down, -

- to stage a play with you
and your creepy little friends? Why?

And don't give me that look.
You won't melt my heart.

Now run on home to mom and dad.
Shed a few tears cause life ain't fair.

I need a drink.
Sit here if you want.

- But what about for art?
- Oh, art.

Sexy art.

Why don't you stage
a revue like everyone else?!

Johannes?

My man. What's happening?

- Here. Have a sip.
- Thanks.

Come on, don't be shy.

- I should get back to the others.
- No, come on.

It's party time. Have another sip.
Chill out. It's my birthday.

Which means you're fucked, and all
hell is about to break loose. Right?

Drink!

Look who's here.

- Let's say hello. Come on!
- No, forget it.

- Hi.
- Hi, girls.

- Lars, say hello to Tale and...
- Nora.

What are you doing at
a teenybopper party?

- What are we doing here?
- Hold it there.

Get beside each other.
A little closer.

Awesome!

That's just perfect!

We're going for Jon Fosse, by the way.

That's radical!
Perfect. Respect.

- You have to ask Lars to help you.
- Absolutely.

No, it would hardly be interesting
for a great actor like him.

- I think it would.
- Me too.

- Jesus Christ.
- Come on. Hey!

It'll be great. Get out of Oslo.
Up from the ditch.

Fuck, is he ever plastered!

What the hell are you doing?
Let go of me! Let go!

- What are you doing?
- Stuff it in there!

Johannes! Are you okay?
No, don't do it!

What's he done to you? Stop!

- Cut it out, I said!
- Hi.

Right, the fir cone trick.

A classic. Reminds me of
the 80s in some twisted way.

You don't give a shit
about anyone, do you?

He's about to be raped with a cone.
You walk away.

I bet you shit on everyone who cares
about you. And I asked for your help!

You can't help anyone, not even
yourself. You're a fucked chicken.

We wanna do something new, good,
make art. You wanna tear it down.

Great! You'll never get anywhere!

Yes, I'm young. But I'm not scared
shitless like you are.

At least something's happening.
You're just standing there.

"Stagnation is death. "
That's Plato, dickhead!

I feel daft, but I don't get it.

You mean I can go on?

Sorry, young fellow.

- Nobody touches my actors.
- Thank you.

- It'll be hell.
- I'm ready.

Hi. Welcome.

This one's from us.

This is from the county.

Thank you for coming.

- Coffee. Can I have some coffee?
- Coffee? Of course.

I don't get it.

- Are you the actors?
- Yes.

- How old are you?
- Fifteen to eighteen.

I'm eighteen.

Brilliant.

We wanted to do something difficult.
Something challenging.

- Not just stage another revue.
- I see.

We've just made revues
with a local twist.

But isn't Jon Fosse way too ambitious
for a bunch of amateur midgets?

- What the hell do you want?
- Coffee?

Right.

Jon Fosse is the man.

His texts are open to interpretation.

They describe feelings
without becoming trite.

- And his writing style is sexy.
- Real sexy.

So what is this play about?

You.

- It's about a man and a woman.
- A mumble, mumble?

You have to speak louder, or
the audience will die of boredom.

June's our prompter.

It won't help matters if we can't
hear our own prompter.

The play is about a man and a woman
who've met before, -

- but never expressed their emotions.

It's a portrayal of people
who involuntarily hurt each other.

I think the play's about
our opportunity as humans -

- to change our lives,
even as we hurtle toward death.

Right.

So you understand any of this?

Right, will love last?

- Or will it die?
- Love conquers all.

"Love conquers all"?

Now shut up.

Will love last, or will it die
in the face of everyday life -

- and our crippled minds?
- It will die.

It doesn't have to.

Not as such. But in creative terms.

- In the play?
- Can love survive?

Between modern humans forever torn
between glut and vacuum?

Caught in the tension between
the urge for freedom -

- and the need for attachment?

Is it just a suitable arrangement
to ensure intercourse?

That's what I have to find out.

Right. We'll find out.

"How strange we should meet like this,
in a churchyard. We haven't... "

- "But that's how it is. "
- "It's so strange. "

"Here I sit, as you see,
all alone in the dark autumn. "

- "You're thinking. "
- "Well... "

- "Maybe I'm grieving?"
- "Gauging your feelings. "

You really think
he should play the man?

Johannes is the best actor we've got.

Maybe.
Could you imagine kissing him?

It's a simple question.
Have you kissed him?

- No, but...
- Right. Why not?

Because the thought never
crossed your mind. Huh?

Just look at the boy!
Sorry, that's just how it is.

This is important.
We have to believe it.

It's not that I don't want to,
but I've never kissed him.

Johannes is a friend.
The kissing comes later in the play.

- Are you a friend?
- Yes.

- Would you mind kissing your friend?
- No.

Then please show me.

- Now?
- No, next Tuesday.

Yes, now.

Hm. That's nice.

Now let me see two people who just
want to tear each other's clothes off, -

- get down on the ground and do it.
Let me see it.

Okay, let's try. Be lions.
Be lions on the floor.

Find your primary beast within.
Come on, let's see it.

Okay, stop. That's good.

- You.
- Me?

You go away. Go away.

Passion.

- You want me to kiss him too?
- Yes.

Go ahead.

- Like that?
- Uh...

Let's try a French kiss.

Touch each other.
There you go. Good.

I'm really just a musician.

- What? You're not an actor?
- I play the music.

Well, then fuck you.

Okay, we need a new boy.
A revue is one thing.

Jon Fosse requires a bit more friction.

- Lars is a pro, right?
- Yeah.

He knows what he's doing?

Why don't you ask him,
not me, if you disagree?

This isn't an ideal situation
for anyone.

- What are you doing?
- Putting up posters.

- We're having an audition.
- Know what that is?

I know what an audition is.
Who says you can put up posters?

Is that a problem for you?

Will you lose sleep
thinking about the poster?

Don't bring that theatre crap here.
If I see any of you here again, -

- I'll take the gun and staple
your pussy lips to the wall.

- You even know how to find a pussy?
- I know how to find a pussy all right.

Much better than you.
Even though you're a lesbo.

- I haven't seen...
- Come on, let's go.

Come here.

- Stick it to her lips!
- Goddamn dickhead. Stop!

- Let go of me!
- You want one or two?

- Stitch her up!
- How tight do you wanna be?

Tale?

- Are you okay?
- Forget it.

He had the staple gun.
He could have stapled...

Forget about that prick.

Hi.

Which of you wanted
to see my girls' pussy lips?

What's wrong with you?

- Sorry, I didn't catch that?
- What's wrong with...

- Was it him?
- No, no.

- Him?
- No, no.

Start talking. I've got all day.

- Haven't I seen him before?
- Hasn't he?

So?

- He wanted to see their pussy lips?
- Did you?

- Yeah, she was talking back.
- Talking back.

- Hey, girl?
- Me?

Come on.

Let's say you stop by
the theatre tomorrow at ten.

I want you to audition.

Fuck that!

Okay.

Then I'll report you and the others
for attempted rape.

We were just kidding.

What are you doing?
Do you know who that idiot is?

- He's no actor! I refuse to play...
- That's enough.

- Why am I here?
- To help us. Not to ruin everything!

And which of us is a pro?

- You are.
- Thank you.

Great. Then we agree.
We'll talk tomorrow.

This is gonna be awesome!

Dammit.

Right, there we have Vegard.

You've done it now. There's enough
here to charge you with vandalism, -

- breaking and entering, public
urination and God knows what else.

I've also heard rumours about
pussy lips and a staple gun.

You're supposed to be
a role model for the team.

You know I can't have you here
if you're charged.

We were kidding, seriously.

If they report it,
it'll fuck up the contract.

That's what I'm saying. I'm the one
offering you the contract.

That's why you should
be glad that Lars -

- has a suggestion.
You know who Jon Fosse is?

- No.
- I didn't think so.

Lars says he won't report it if you're
willing to join in their play.

- It's called "Autumn Dream".
- Great play.

It's an excellent play. I've no idea
why they want you in it, but they do.

You'll do exactly as Lars
tells you from now on.

He'll be like a second coach for you.

If you don't, you can forget
about coming back. Okay?

Super. ¤ctually, I really look forward
to seeing you at the premiere.

Monkey. Come on!

Rabbit.

In love for the first time.

- Bullfinch.
- Fuck that. I came, okay?

If you think I'm gonna do any
theatrical shit, you're wrong.

I don't give a fuck about
what you think or say.

You're a bullfinch if I say so.

If I tell you to be a dwarf
with angst, you'll be a dwarf -

- with fucking angst.

You know why?

- Why?
- Cause you're my second coach.

Now give me a bullfinch.

Okay, next!

What I do when I work, is to find
room within to call on feelings -

- that can bring the characters
I play to life.

And the vital thing about
the character you're playing, is doubt.

He has doubts about the choices
he's made in life regarding love.

He's sitting on a bench in
the churchyard, thinking about it.

- A woman enters. An old flame.
- That's me.

- Nice.
- A relationship that never happened.

He's emotionally torn between her
and what he has at home.

It's a wife, children, parents.
It's family. Get it?

- Doubt, remember?
- Sure.

And longing.

"Oh, is it... " I have to read it
in New Norwegian?

- It's Jon Fosse.
- The master of New Norwegian.

Okay.

- "Oh, is it you?"
- "It would seem so. "

"But you being here. That I meet you
here and now, it's unbelievable. "

- "How nice. It's been a while. "
- "Yes. "

- "I didn't know you were in town. "
- "I'm just visiting. "

- "Well, it's nice. "
- Huh?

"Well, it's nice. "
I'm the prompter.

So if you fumble your lines, or forget
them, I read them from the script.

- I see.
- It's at the bottom of page eight.

- "Well, it's nice. "
- "I'm just visiting. "

- "Well, this was unexpected. "
- "Yes. "

"How strange that we should meet
like this, in a churchyard. "

No. Seriously.
Can I go? This is fucked.

- Nothing's fucked here.
- I'm no goddamn actor!

In fucking New Norwegian?

Vegard, come here!
We have a deal. Get back inside.

Okay, let's continue.

Okay. Mirroring exercise.

It's an exercise where we follow each
other's moves without trying to lead.

It's focus training.

So just see and feel the other.
Try to find your own rhythm. Right?

- Well?
- Remember what we talked about.

Focus.

Don't try to control the other.

Just be in the moment.

Don't think too much.

Just look into each other's eyes.
Go on.

Now follow each other.

That'll be all.

- What the hell is he doing?
- He's got zero feeling.

He doesn't understand Fosse at all.

Yeah, I hope he takes a hike.

Hi. Have you got a sec?

Hi.

Pretty nice here, huh?

You know, you can't always
take the easy way, Tale.

You've chosen Jon Fosse,
which is great.

Now you have to see it through.

The great thing about
taking the hard way, -

- is you end up in places
you've never been before.

That's when you grow.

And the world grows too.

When I saw you doing
the mirroring exercise, -

- I thought I saw magic.

You think so?

Damn right I do.

Hey, you should start
hanging out together.

Show him your passion.
I don't know.

But the others want Vegard to leave.

What do you want?

Did you tell him?

- What did he say?
- Come on.

He said it was Vegard or nothing.

Dammit!

- Is Vegard home?
- He's taking a shower.

Can I wait inside?

It's from the Norway Cup.

Vegard was top scorer.

You like football?

- No.
- Me neither.

But Vegard's good. They say he'll
go pro if he plays his cards right.

Yeah.

- You live together?
- No.

I just hang around here when
my parents are in the North Sea.

Emma? Where are my keys?

- You've got a visitor.
- Hi.

- Why are you here?
- Lars said so.

We should hang out together
to get better on stage.

Jesus.
I've got better things to do.

Show me something
you're passionate about.

I'll show you what
I'm passionate about.

Hey, I'm kidding. Don't tell Lars.

My car. I love fooling with my car.

Please don't rat me out.
We can go for a ride in my car.

Give me the car keys. Come on.

I thought you were into this shit.

Cool.

- Hi.
- I'll have the usual.

- Megagrill with cheese and fries?
- Yeah.

That's right. You want anything?

- She's a vegetarian.
- You don't eat meat?

- No.
- What about chicken? Chicken wings?

Chickens are raised purely
for slaughter.

- Jeez. An extra bun, then.
- I hear you're going to act in that...

Shut up. Go fry something. Fuck.

So who's your favourite
football player?

It must be Zidane.
He was an artist on the field.

- An artist?
- Yeah, that's right.

He did it like - I dunno - like
he was some kind of painter.

I bet they did loads of great shit.

- Yo, what's happening?
- Theatre piss.

Wanna barbecue salmon
at Raymond's place?

No, I can't. Homework.

What the fuck?

- Hey, if you wanna join them, go ahead.
- You mean it?

Royal. Okay, nice.

"Is Gry coming? How nice.
I'm glad you came. "

- "What's the matter?"
- "We can talk about it later. "

"Tell me. Please tell me what it is. "

- "He was hospitalised this evening. "
- I have to go. Football match.

- One more time?
- It just needs a little more energy.

"But why didn't you tell me?
Earlier, I mean?"

- "You can't just say it. "
- "But do you want to?"

"I've... "

"I've often missed you. "

"Yes. Hey?"

"I had a feeling I was going
to meet you when I went out. "

"It's the truth. I had a clear feeling
I was going to meet you. "

"Isn't that strange?"

"Yes. "

Huh?

It's better, right?

- Can I go?
- Yes.

- Werner, come on now.
- Get in there with them!

STERK ARE THE BEST!

Toddi, face him!

Hi, Vegard!

Come in.

Let's say good morning
to our new friend.

- Vegard?
- Good morning.

If you could just lie down
at the other end?

That's right.
Get close to the body next to you.

Now roll over the others.

Come on, start rolling.

Sorry.

Great.

Excellent!

Train. Seven seconds.

All aboard!

- Mixmaster?
- Mixmaster. Seven seconds.

What do you put in a Mixmaster?

- Strawberries.
- Strawberry coming through!

There's one really fantastic picture.

- It hits me in the guts, like.
- Okay?

I can't explain it.
It does something to me.

Can you feel how it
does something to you?

I didn't know you liked porn.

It's erotic photographic art.

It's porn.

Depends on who's watching.
Like Jon Fosse.

It's open to interpretation,
but it's not too obvious. Get it?

Actually I don't.

- Tale? Hi!
- Hi!

- Your boyfriend?
- Jeez, no!

No, this is Vegard.

- He's in the play.
- Forced to be.

Lars told us to hang out
to improve our interaction.

Sounds like a good idea.

I wanted to show him
the picture I like so much.

You must be my biggest fan.

You should pop by my studio one day,
see how I work.

- Yeah, I'd love that.
- Right.

- Well, good to meet you, Werner.
- My name's Vegard.

Pop by.

It is porn.

"Oh, is it you?"

- "It would seem so. "
- "How nice. "

- "It's been a while. "
- "Yes. "

- "I didn't know you were in town. "
- "I'm just visiting. "

"I went for a walk. Ended up here. "

- When the wave comes, paddle.
- Paddle?

Yeah, come on.

There. You've caught the wave.
Now stand up.

Steer with the right foot, here.
The left foot goes there.

Now feel how the wave grabs you.

Just walk with the wave.

Yeah, come on. Don't give up.
Come on. Good!

You've got your feet right. That'll do.

- What's that song?
- It's nothing.

- It was nice.
- You think so?

- What is it?
- One of our songs.

- You probably wouldn't like it.
- Your songs? You're in a band?

- Well, let me hear it.
- Here? Now?

Okay.

"It's probably just feelings.
Our imagination. "

"If we, you and I, got together,
it would all disappear in toil and... "

God damn it! All these words! I don't
even know what they're talking about!

I think love can be like that.
Conflicting emotions.

You can love deeply,
but still have profound doubts.

We have to draw on experience.
In this case it's doubt.

- You've doubted your own decisions.
- Maybe.

Go through it a couple more times.
I'll check on you later.

Just imagine you're saying it
to me, as yourself.

"We will go separate ways,
no matter what. "

"Just like everyone else.
That's how it is. "

"That's how it is and how it isn't.
Of course. "

"Maybe. "

"May I touch you?"

"Good. "

"I can feel it ripple through me. "

"Me too. But we can't. "

"We'll want to sleep together. "
Jeez. I can't say that.

Why not?

It's too direct.

- But people have sex all the time.
- Yeah.

- How many have you slept with?
- Well...

- About twenty.
- You see?

- We have to make out?
- They just think about it.

But it says they embrace and...

Yes, but it's all just part of
the characters.

It's not you and me.
We're acting.

Just put away the script.

Now look at me.

"It's probably just feelings.
Our imagination. "

"If we, you and I, got together,
it would all disappear" -

- "in toil and strife. After a few years,
we'd go separate ways. "

"We will go separate ways,
just like everyone else. "

"That's how it is. "

What? Was it good?

You're much better.

- What are you doing?
- No, I just...

- You tried to kiss me.
- I thought, as part of the character...

No, as part of the play.

- You like me?
- God forbid, no.

Why should I?

Lars suggested a weekend cabin trip.

I'm late for practice.

- Is that cool or what?
- Yeah.

- We must get hold of some Jägermeister.
- Yeah.

- Been drinking tea with the thespians?
- Shut up.

Okay, boys. Tactics meeting.

- Are you coming?
- In a moment.

- What are you doing here?
- Thought I'd say hi.

- Okay. Hi.
- You're starting to improve, Vegard.

I suck at that acting stuff.
I can't even learn the text.

Forget about the text.
Any idiot can memorise a text.

I don't know.
There's something about you I like.

Don't wear yourself out.

We'll talk tomorrow.

Are you excited? This'll be fun.

Tale! Wake up.
This place is awesome. Come on!

- You bring anything?
- Red wine.

Nice.

This is gonna be a great trip.

In a Christian way.

- Hot dogs?
- Yes please.

Burgers?

Hey!

What's this supposed to mean?

Huh? What do you think you're doing?

Come on, show me.

Hey! Show it to me!

You think I'm an idiot?
Show me everything!

You have to learn -

- to share.

Hi, beautiful.

Hey, I think Vegard's sort of sexy,
in a funny kind of way.

- But you're not into him?
- Me? No, are you nuts?

But hey?
He's got a girlfriend. Emma.

- What's going on?
- He broke up.

I don't know why. After two years,
he just broke up. I'm "too domineering".

I'm not!

Anybody got a cigarette?

It'll be okay.

I've dreamt, or rather
fantasized about this for ages.

I don't know.
But it feels wrong.

Like there's someone else.

Sorry.

So I'm leaving.

Have you got a girlfriend?

- That's a very personal question.
- Well, have you?

Let's say you do.

How will you know
she's the right one?

I don't know.
You just know it, right?

Would you feel the same
if she was a shit?

- You sure are inquisitive.
- Would you still love her?

I've fallen in love with the wrong guy.

- It's been known to happen.
- The opposite of what I imagined.

Wrong in every possible way.

But I go soft inside
every time I see him.

It's like he has power over me.

One day I'll wake up,
and everything will be over.

All the feelings will be gone.

There are people who do things.

And there are people who think about
what they should've done.

Then there are people
who try to do things, but fail.

And people who think about
doing something, and do it.

Then realise what they thought
was wrong. Get it?

- Not quite.
- No.

It's not easy.

What you want me to say?

You want a pat on the head? "What
doesn't kill you makes you stronger"?

- What sort of freaking comfort is that?
- Exactly. It's bullshit. Fucked up.

Come on!

Why are they wearing all those clothes?
There should be a tit warrantee.

Oh, tits!

- "It's all a game. "
- "It's all serious. "

- "It's all a serious game. "
- "That's clever. "

- "It's all a serious game. "
- "What about behind it?"

"Behind it, there's nothing.
And the light. "

"Light. Exactly. "

"But isn't the light in others too?"

- "In the serious game, I mean. But... "
- "But what?"

"Can't you take me?
I want to be taken. "

- "Then tell me I'm not worth it. "
- "Maybe later. "

"Not now, not here. "

"Don't you love me? Anymore?"

"I hate you. "

- "Maybe I hate you. "
- "Why?"

"Because. "

- "You both love and hate me?"
- "Yes. "

- "You're a dog. And my husband. "
- "Not only. "

- "You're a dog!"
- Sorry.

Thank you.

What? They're no longer together?

Yeah, they broke up. It's sad.

That was great, Tale.

Tale?

Are you all right?

- You're not mad at me?
- No. Why do you ask?

- You seem a bit distant.
- It's just the premier.

Don't worry. I'd never have thought so,
but the two of you work well together.

- What? You like him?
- Vegard? Are you nuts? No.

You got together at the cabin.

- Together? We just fooled around.
- I thought you hated him.

It was just for laughs.

Are you in love with him or something?

Tale... I asked you
if you were that evening.

- You said no. If you'd said...
- Forget about it.

Tale!

Hi.

We need to talk.

Could you come over?

Hi.
Could I see your new pictures?

Yeah, sure. Come in.

You're fantastic.

I've been an idiot.

- Sorry.
- I love you.

Can I get you anything?
Coffee? Tea?

Have you got any red wine?

- Yeah. You want some red wine?
- Yes please.

Cheers.

But this is old stuff. What do you
think about my latest printout?

It's nice.

It's not done yet.
Needs more lighting work.

Too dark.

I often find the process in itself
more attractive -

- than the finished product.

The idea, like.
Falling in love with a new idea.

But when you start working...

I don't know.
It somehow corrupts it slowly.

It's exhausting to be an artist
sometimes. You wanna give up.

Get a regular job, and...

What are you doing here?

- I live here.
- Right.

Don't give me that look.

- What look?
- That look. Condescending.

- You're not my dad.
- I sure hope not.

I haven't done anything wrong.
Everybody does it.

- It's not as if I'm a virgin.
- Okay.

Stop saying "okay"!

- Okay.
- Don't say "okay"! It's not okay.

- Everything's completely fucked!
- Well, that's too bad.

- You all right, Jacob?
- Go back to your room and stay there!

If I fuck without love,
I don't have to feel anything!

You're too old to understand,
you moron!

Jon Fosse can burn in hell!
I've had it!

You can forget about that goddamn play!

Are you in love with Vegard?

Wanna talk about it?

- When will I know if he likes me?
- I don't know. When he feels like it.

I don't get it.
I thought you were like forty.

And you still got no answers?

I do the opposite of what I want
all the way.

Of what I really want.

I just escape into myself.

I'm a coward.

Come.

You know, when I was your age...

- How old are you really?
- Seventeen.

Okay, maybe I was a bit older.

I met a girl.

Her name was Mona.

We were together for three years.

Then Mona got pregnant.

She was going to have a baby.
We were going to have a baby.

And she really wanted
to have that child.

I was more like... I was young.

I was scared shitless by the thought
of being a dad and all that.

I didn't even say goodbye.

I just ran. Ran away from everything.

It took two years before
I heard what happened next.

Mona couldn't handle
me leaving at all.

She lost her child.
Our child.

Even then I didn't contact her.

Now I have a family of my own.

I have a wonderful
eight-year-old daughter.

And a beautiful wife.

I see Mona's face every day.

I met her two months ago.

Jesus, what a shock.

There she was. And she was...

She was just as beautiful.

And she said she loved me,
and that she...

She'd forgiven me
for everything I'd done.

That she wanted me back.

So I... I ran away again.

I ended up in this fucking hole.

I don't know what to do.

I don't know if I should return
to my family, or go -

- to the woman
I know I truly, truly love.

You must go to the one you love.

You can't live a lie.

You must go to her.

And what must you do?

- Oh, is it you?
- It would seem so.

But you being here. That I meet you
here and now, it's unbelievable.

- It's been a while.
- Yes.

- I didn't know you were in town.
- I'm just visiting.

- Well, it's nice.
- Just for a short while.

How strange that we should
meet like this, in a...

"In a churchyard... "

It's going to hell.
He's forgotten his lines.

How strange that we should meet
like this, in a churchyard.

- But that's how it is.
- May I tell you something?

I was looking at the tombstone
over there just before you came.

I thought about you.
It was so strange.

I missed you. We haven't seen
each other for ages.

Now we meet here,
in a gloomy autumn, in a churchyard.

And right after I've thought
about you, longed for you.

Often in the evening,
when I lie in bed, or on the sofa, -

- I can feel your presence
It's insane.

It's still that way.
I feel you lying close to me.

I put my arms around you.

I've often wondered if you've had the
same feeling of lying close to me.

- Yes.
- It's probably just feelings.

Our imagination.
If we, you and I, -

- got together, it would
all disappear in toil and strife.

After a few years,
we'd go separate ways.

That's how it is and how it isn't.
Of course.

May I touch you?

Good.
I can feel it ripple through me.

We have to be together.

We've both known it for ages.
Time can't simply pass by.

We've missed each other.
But neither of us have dared say so.

Maybe it's been too dangerous.

We've felt exactly the same.

I've also felt your body
close to mine, -

- and mine close to yours.

Even though you weren't there,
you were there.

I've felt you.

I've known you were there.

That's the truth.

- Are they improvising?
- I don't know.

No, she's in love with him.

It's so beautiful.

Not you too!

I know that guy.

- That was pretty decent.
- It was really great.

That was awesome.

- But... I was really surprised!
- You were great! Really.

Let's congratulate Vegard.

- Hey, congratulations! It was good.
- You were great.

Tale?

Hey, is the guitar player single?

Erlend? Yeah.

Hey, that was righteous!

I didn't understand shit,
but I was touched.

You're so cute, in an Icelandic way.

Are you leaving?

You were fantastic today, you know?

Promise me you'll go to Mona.

- To who?
- The one you love above all others.

- The one who carried your lost child.
- Oh.

It's not entirely true.

- I got a bit carried away, you know.
- You lied to me?

No, it could've happened.

You goddamn bastard.

Is it that important,
what's true or not?

We tell stories.
That's what we do, Tale.

If it makes people stop
and think about it, that's great.

What you did on stage today...

It deserves respect.

I love you.

So what happens now?

I'll go home and try to
save a marriage.

You'll be doing the same
in a couple of years.

Vegard! You're a lucky man.

And remember:

Kiss her, you fucking moron. Every day.

Adios!

- Do as he says.
- Do what?

Kiss me, you fucking moron!