Kill the Monsters (2018) - full transcript
Three men struggle to save their relationship while traveling across country in search of a doctor they believe will make one of them well.
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[effect plays]
[glass breaks]
[classical music]
- No, they're still there.
I'm telling you, it's a fuckin'
funhouse.
I'm subjected to defendin'
myself.
Well, someone needs to say
to them, you know what,
did you make a mistake of buyin'
a home you couldn't afford
and now you're broke?
And you want me to give back
the money I was promised,
my bonus for doin' my job?
I mean I care.
What?
What kind of knickers?
What color are they?
And the bra?
Oh send me a picture, I
hate using my imagination.
What's that?
Oh Sara you cow, I can't
come back to London.
Not yet anyway.
You know that.
Christ, I hate Americans.
[dramatic orchestral music]
- Christ Frankie, what
are you, a coal miner?
- Sorry.
- You hungry?
You want to know what time
your boyfriend got home today?
- No, don't tell him.
- I'm telling him.
He never left the apartment.
Can you believe it?
I want that job.
I gotta stare at computer
screens in coffee shops.
That bank busts Frankie's balls.
10 o'clock and no overtime,
is that even legal?
He's an assistant for Christ
sake.
- I was a slave to my books.
- Yeah, well there's an idea.
I bet Frankie wouldn't
mind slaving around all day
with a book and a latte.
- I don't like lattes.
- He doesn't drink lattes.
- Orange juice, whatever,
you know what I mean.
And you know what,
I'm not living with this one
much longer if he's not working.
Pretty soon he's gonna
watch game shows all day.
- That sounds kind of fun.
- I don't know, maybe, I mean...
- See, don't encourage him.
It's like gluttony on steroids.
- All right, all right all
right.
- What were you visiting
on your way home today?
- Yeah, Saint Paul's chapel.
- That's it?
You pass that every day.
Did you go inside?
I told you to look at more
places.
What happened to that?
- I was working.
- You know there's a lot to
learn and see,
it's important to take advantage
of.
- Is the chicken cold?
- No, sorry.
[laughs]
- You're not eating the chicken?
- No, it's good, I like it.
- What's the matter with you?
It's good chicken.
- It's just, it's too much.
- Oh, I bought a jello
mold for after dinner.
- You made a jello mold?
What the hell for, do they
do that where you're from?
- Not where I'm from.
- I'm not eating jello mold.
- Well I didn't buy it for you.
- Well Frankie doesn't
eat jello mold either.
How chin ups you do on the
bar in the hallway last night?
- 50.
- Without stopping?
- 29.
- See? Eat your chicken.
You can't do pull ups
without hormone-free chicken.
Fawn to counter.
- Can I just eat the meatballs,
please?
- If he eats the chicken,
will you shut up about it?
- Well I won't be there.
- Frankie, eat your chicken.
- I'm gonna throw some chicken
in a sec.
- Go ahead, I love civil
disobedience.
- Stop it.
- Patrick, just uh, quickly.
[romantic orchestral music]
- Okay, just relax.
Oh. [laughs]
There, that better?
- Does he need to see
Dr. Reingold?
[vomits]
- Not so good, kid.
- [Sutton] You need to quit your
job.
- Yeah, and do what?
- What do you want to be a slave
to a British banker for anyway?
- The doctor says that
you need to make changes
or things are gonna get worse.
- Yeah, the doctor doesn't
even know what's wrong with me.
- It's the shitty boss that's
making you sicker is the bottom
line.
You're better off working
for yourself somehow.
- You can't stay dependent on
a company that cares nothing for
you.
They make decisions that
affect your well-being,
you don't have any say.
- But we need money, right?
- Look, we have my trust.
Patrick is making a lot
from his blog right now.
We will be fine, you can
work when you're well.
Start your own company or
something.
Just do whatever it is
that you want to do.
- I can't start--
- [Patrick] We do not need this.
- Look, Patrick and I are
only happy if you're happy.
And you are not happy right now.
You know, this thing
that we're doing here?
The three of us?
I really believe that it is the
only way.
- I know.
- And it won't work
if we're dependent
on any one else.
[slow dramatic orchestral music]
- Follow me.
Call Juanita, tell she
needs to clean on Monday,
not Tuesday, out by four.
Reschedule my chiropractor for
the 13th.
Also on the 15th I have
to fly to Chicago by six.
Oh and it's my sister's
birthday on the 14th.
See if you can find a scarf
or something seemingly
expensive.
I had a dream the other night.
I had to urinate.
In searching for a pot,
I found several.
Some were old, with a
chord or a lever.
Others were new,
with buttons, a bidet.
The seats, they were
covered in cellophane.
So that if I got on
with it, I'd wet myself.
Rather than settling for
the disappointment of one,
I tested them all.
And as I was toweling
myself off afterwards,
I saw the one from
my childhood home.
Alone in the corner.
No cellophane, waiting.
The bank is cutting costs,
I'm sure you're aware.
You'll get a 10% dock in pay.
- I quit.
- [Woman] What?
- I quit.
[dramatic orchestral music]
- [Patrick] Sutton come on,
let's go!
Where should we go today?
It's your day, we'll do whatever
you want.
- [Sutton] We could
go to the zoo.
- [Patrick] Frankie, you want to
do that?
Let's go to the Bronx.
- [Frankie] I want to go west.
- [Patrick] West where?
- [Sutton] You mean the high
line?
- [Frankie] No I mean we can
go to the zoo, that's fine.
I mean I want us to move.
- [Frankie] You want what?
- [Frankie] I want us to move
west.
- [Sutton] You mean like
Ho-bul-can?
- [Frankie] No, I mean like
California,
or San Francisco, or like
Portland or something.
I think it'd be good, you know?
Like change, like quitting the
bank.
- [Patrick] Are you
out of your mind?
We're not doing that.
You're not well
enough to do that.
I'm not doin' that.
You just quit your job!
We were gonna go to the zoo,
we were gonna look
at a goddamn seal,
not move across country.
- [Frankie] The doctor said
change would be good for me,
so I think we should go.
- [Patrick] I can't
leave the city,
I'll be a fish out of water.
That's it, I'm going
back to the apartment.
- [Sutton] Okay, wait a minute.
Jesus!
- It's a stupid idea.
- Maybe.
- An irresponsible idea.
- You wanted him
to be more independent.
- [Patrick] He doesn't
have the wherewithal
to make decisions like that.
He's too young, he didn't go
to college for Christ sake.
He doesn't know
what's best for him.
- [Sutton] Oh, but you do?
- [Patrick] More than him.
- [Sutton] Well it's his life.
- [Patrick] Our lives,
it's our lives, Sutton.
The decision affects us all.
- [Sutton] Maybe, but it might
be a good idea to expand.
- [Patrick] No, I hate
expanding.
People leave the city when they
don't know what they want
or they fuck up and quit.
- [Sutton] Or because they're
looking for something more.
Look, I am hesitant on the idea
too, okay?
- [Patrick] It's not
good for us.
- [Sutton] Well it might
be good for him.
And if it's good for him,
then it's good--
- [Patrick] He doesn't
own the apartment,
we should be making
the decision ourselves,
we have all the money!
- [Sutton] Well, then
maybe we should let him
buy into the apartment or
something
so that it's a little
bit more fair.
- [Patrick] What?
[groans] How?
- [Sutton] I don't know,
but it makes sense,
from his point of view.
- [Patrick] I'm not doing
it, you talk to him.
- [Sutton] Oh, Christ.
Let's just, he'll cool off.
- [Frankie] I don't understand,
are we supposed to just stay
here the rest of our lives,
'cause that's what he wants?
I mean is that what you want?
- [Sutton] Look, I hear
what you're saying--
- [Frankie] And haven't
you wanted to go west?
- [Sutton] Yes, I do.
- [Frankie] I get that
you're smarter than me,
you're both smarter
than me, I get it.
- [Sutton] You are smart.
- [Frankie] But I need
to be listened to
if we're going to stay together.
I need to have a
say in what we do.
- And I'm not a fucking peasant.
- Right.
If he's not gonna
listen to my ideas,
if he's not gonna
listen to my ideas,
I'm not gonna support him,
or listen to his advice.
- [Woman] Two bedroom,
two bath, newly renovated,
three blocks from the Pacific.
Owners are French,
they're looking to unload.
It's a goddamn steal, what
they're asking.
- Let me talk it
over with Patrick.
- [Woman] What the fuck
is there to talk about?
- [laughs] Jesus, okay,
how much time do I have?
- Look, I've been taking
everything into account,
and I think we should
consolidate our debt.
- Oh no no no no no, I
am not consolidating.
You and Frankie have so
much more debt than I do!
- Well I mean, are we in
this together, or not?
- Yes, yeah,
but some things are just
better left kept separate.
- Oh I see, so if it's
something I want,
we should keep everything
separate.
- Oh my God.
- If it's something
you and Frankie want,
suddenly it's majority ruled.
I think we should
consolidate our debt
and then agree not
to take on any more.
That's what I think.
- I'm not in the mood okay?
So not today.
- [Patrick] What's the
matter with you?
- [Frankie] The doctor
increased my medication.
- [Sutton] What?
- [Frankie] My stomach hurts
and all I wanna do is sleep.
- I think we need to take
him to see Dr. Reingold.
Don't you think we
should do that?
- I bought us a condo
in Santa Monica.
- Wait, really?
- Yeah.
I've been doing some research,
and there's a holistic doctor
out there
that I think would be
really good for Frankie.
- You bought an apartment in
California, you didn't tell me?
- Yeah, it's better that we
get there sooner than later.
- I thought we all had
a say in what's best.
This isn't me overreacting
this time Sutton,
you're on a rampage!
He's sick and you're using it
as an excuse to go
on a goddamn rampage.
- I'm not on a rampage!
- Are you an escrow?
- Hey Sutton can you
please call the doctor,
I really don't feel well.
- [Woman] Dr. Davis,
telephone please.
Dr. Davis, telephone please.
- Hey, I'm just going
to take a listen, okay?
- Okay.
- You're fat now, a little.
[laughs]
- Please.
- Gay man fat, I see
you in your midsection.
- You're just fuckin' with me.
- So serious.
- Alex you think that
doctor in California
is really gonna have the answer?
- I dunno.
That is not the point.
You know, what you are
doing here with them,
it may be the answer to why it
never works with two people.
But to work, Frankie must
be well.
- You don't understand.
- No?
Okay, I don't understand.
I'm just a doctor who
works in prisons.
Cough please, spread your
cheeks.
Is it cark, no?
Okay, that is all.
Who asked me to leave
work and come here?
Sutton? Is he here?
No.
Frankie? No, you did.
You want to know what I think?
I think you go,
and everyone wins.
Improvements and adventures.
This is stagnation.
- [Patrick] How is Louise?
- [Alex] We are still
getting over Carmine.
- You think she'll
ever try again?
- Menage a trois?
Who knows.
- You know at first with
Frankie, it was just sexual.
Sutton and I aren't versatile,
so it was nice to
have someone for that.
But then after a while,
you know when we knew
there was potential,
it's nice to be needed.
- And what about to need?
You need him, hm?
Well.
[dramatic orchestral music]
- [Patrick] Look, it was
dumb of me
not to let you have a say,
I get that now.
- [Frankie] You can't resent
him?
- [Sutton] I don't, you
and Sutton matter more.
Look there's one thing
I need from you though.
It's hypocritical of
him not to agree,
he's only thinking of himself.
- [Frankie] What is it?
- [Sutton] You manipulated him.
- [Patrick] No, I asked,
it's a compromise.
The debt will go down faster
if we're all paying it together.
- [Sutton] That is not a
compromise,
no it's not a compromise,
we talked about...
[slow dramatic orchestral music]
- [Patrick] Frankie,
Sutton's making juice.
You want one?
- [Sutton] Does he want one?
[slow orchestral music]
- [Patrick] They gotta
have some nuts or something
at least that isn't processed.
- [Frankie] I think there's
a bathroom around the back.
- Don't touch anything.
- I won't.
- Uh, there's no treadmill,
by the way.
- Well, get used to it.
That's what we're
in for out here.
Look, I know I didn't
get very far today,
but I want you to
see all the sights.
You feel up for that, right?
- Yeah.
- 'Cause I'm torn.
We got to get you to
California for the doctor lady.
Look I know we
should have flown,
but it's good to have new
experiences.
- Yeah, right.
Oh, I'm starving.
There's gotta be a diner
around here or something.
Maybe get some eggs.
Huh Sutton, eggs?
Sutton!
Eggs!
Guess you're not
coming with us, huh?
Are you ready?
- [Frankie] I want a soda,
do you guys want anything?
- [Sutton] Yeah, nothing diet.
- Patrick?
- I'm fine.
- [Sutton] What?
- [Patrick] You brought
a lot of drugs with you.
- [Sutton] Yeah, well,
road trip, you know?
You know I was thinking that
maybe I'd let Frankie try some.
He was talking to me
about the molly the other,
and I don't know, I think
maybe he might like it.
- [Patrick] Uh huh.
- [Sutton] What is
wrong with you?
You're acting funny.
- [Patrick] I'm a little
creeped out by all the drugs,
is all.
- [Sutton] What do you mean?
- [Patrick] Well, you know
I've never approved of it.
- [Sutton] Yeah,
I know, for you.
- [Patrick] No, not just
for me, not just for me.
I never thought it was a
particularly ingenious idea,
but I was tolerating it,
I've been tolerating it.
You know I've been
looking the other way,
for the sake of the
relationship.
- [Sutton] Don't start, please.
- [Patrick] You never would
have agreed to getting together
if I had said no to the drugs.
- [Sutton] Yeah, I know.
- [Patrick] I always
thought it was
some sort of youthful
phase sort of thing,
a gross, bad, dumb, you know,
that would eventually fade out.
And it wasn't worth throwing
the whole relationship away.
But now, what
you're saying to me,
you're telling me that instead
of fading out the drugs,
you want Frankie to do them too.
Are you out of
your fucking mind?
So I don't think that's,
you know,
a good idea to have two
crack addicts running around.
Not to mention the fact
that the whole reason
we're headed west is
to make Frankie well!
- [Sutton] Oh this is
completely unreasonable.
I mean you've seen me, you've
known that I smoke pot.
This wasn't a surprise.
And to the extent
that you don't approve?
I mean you've always been
perfectly happy
to look the other way in
order to get what you want.
So now you're telling me
that you have a problem,
I think you're trying to slam
me to get the upper hand.
- [Patrick] No.
- [Sutton] And you tried
drugs early on too,
so don't act so innocent.
[laughs]
- [Patrick] Hardly, I didn't
know what I was doing.
I knew you would bring that up.
- [Sutton] And Frankie
wants to try something new,
he's perfectly entitled to
make up his mind on his own.
- [Patrick] We're not
expanding the drug use here,
we're limiting it.
[scoffs]
- [Sutton] Wait, we're
not limiting my use, huh?
Is that what you're saying?
- No.
- [Sutton] Because that
would be the next thing,
to tell me what to do.
- [Patrick] No, you do
what you want.
Just so Frankie's not
inhaling a bunch of poison.
If he thinks that's a good idea,
then he's too fucking asinine
to make decisions for himself.
Pretty soon you'll want
me to join in.
- Controlling.
- [Patrick] And we'll
be one big crack family.
No, I'm trying not to
live on a crack farm.
- [Sutton] I don't do crack!
I don't inject anything!
- Cocaine, whatever,
you know what I mean.
- [Sutton] Sick
people smoke pot.
I mean cancer, Jesus.
And I mean, if Frankie
joined in every now and then,
maybe I would want to
do it a little bit less.
- [Patrick] That's ridiculous,
where's the logic in that?
- [Sutton] Well, we would
only do it together. [laughs]
- [Patrick] Yeah, all the
fucking time!
You're not doing it,
don't get any ideas.
- [Frankie] Is he mad
at me or something?
- [Sutton] It's nothing,
it's fine, it's fine.
Let's just go see Jefferson.
[slow orchestral music]
- I'm worried he didn't
see where he's going.
- No he's fine, trust me.
I've known him a
lot longer than you.
He'll never leave us.
I just think if you wanna
try something, you should.
I mean, you agree with that,
right?
- Right, yeah.
- I mean I know that I like it
maybe a little bit too much,
and there are bad
things about it,
but it's still my
right to do it.
I mean I've always
been this way,
I'm not gonna change for him.
- No, yeah.
- So, do you think maybe
you'd want to try some?
- Uh, I don't know.
- Because the more
I think about it,
the more I think
that you should.
I mean how else are you
gonna know if it's for you
unless you try it? [laughs]
- Uh, right, I guess.
- So I think you should try it.
Look, I have some
back at the motel.
A shotgun, just to see.
[coughs]
- It kinda hurt. [laughs]
- I'm sorry. [laughs]
- I don't think I got any.
- Well, you got a little.
You can try it again.
- Sorry.
[laughs]
That was a good one.
- Yeah, you got it.
That time you got it.
- Oh, no.
Jesus.
[both laugh]
Jesus, that's--
- Yeah, it's pretty good.
- [Frankie] That's good, yeah.
- And it's not bad for you,
really, so.
- [Frankie] Well that's good.
- You'll see.
[indistinct talking and
laughing]
Look, he promises that he'll
only smoke pot on the weekends.
That's good, right?
Compromise, it'll be fine.
[passionate moans and kissing]
[dramatic orchestral music]
[dramatic orchestral music]
[dramatic orchestral music]
- [Patrick] Christ.
Frankie.
Frankie?
[sobbing]
What I have to hold onto
isn't a very ordinary dream.
I was always knew
complications were inevitable.
You wouldn't know,
wrapped up in your haze,
but the past few days
afforded me the time to think,
you know?
I'm sittin' there in the
ER with Frankie,
and the doctor's looking
at me like I'm an idiot
for letting my boyfriend
carry on like this.
And the whole time,
instead of thinkin' about him,
I'm thinkin' about us.
So what's the answer?
Is it that I sacrifice
what I know to be right
in order to maintain what
worked well enough for so long?
Not good for us,
not good for Frankie.
And, maybe,
over time, if I'm lucky,
you'll see the error.
That, I'm ashamed to
admit, I can live with.
For now.
For what I still believe
is the greater good.
You see what I'm saying?
- I can't.
- What do you want to do?
- I'm gonna stay with you.
- You can't have equal say only
when it favors
what you want, Sutton,
the world doesn't
work like that.
[dramatic orchestral music]
[passionate groans]
- What's the matter?
- What are we gonna do?
The apartment in California
is in Sutton's name.
- I don't know yet, I
haven't thought it through.
You know I was thinking
maybe when get to California,
you should think about going to
college.
They got great schools out
there.
- Right.
- Have you thought about that?
Would you think about that?
- Yeah.
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
- You know you'll make
better decisions if
you think about things.
- I think about things.
- Maybe we'll agree more.
Anyway I want
you to get smarter.
I'll pay for you to get smarter.
Everyone should want to
improve, think new things.
- I was actually thinking about
getting my real estate license.
- Don't think that,
what the hell for?
- I can make a ton of
money in real estate.
- Well yeah, but...
- I know college sounds
good right now,
but I'm not gettin' younger,
and Sutton says I should
focus on making money,
making something of myself,
and then I can go back to
school if I want to later.
- Right.
- So.
- Here, eat mine.
- Are you sure?
Hey.
Hey, want more?
There you go.
There you go.
Oh, get it!
- [Patrick] Have you
heard from Sutton?
- [Frankie] No, why, what
happened?
Did you hear from him?
- [Patrick] No.
I called his mother.
- [Frankie] Why?
- [Patrick] I had
his money frozen.
- [Frankie] Jesus, what?
- [Patrick] I mean
I convinced her.
I told her what was happening
and she froze his trust
so he wouldn't
buy any more drugs.
She hates me, the mother.
She wouldn't take
my call at first.
- [Frankie] Why does
she hate you?
- [Patrick] We have different
values, let's just say.
But I thought if I explained
what was happening--
- [Frankie] Do you think that's
actually a good idea though?
Because like what happens if
he's gotta buy anything.
- I had to do something.
- [Frankie] He's got
to go anywhere,
what happens to the property?
- [Patrick] Look, if he
quits it with the drugs,
she'll unfreeze the money.
- [Frankie] Yeah, but--
- [Patrick] It's gotta work.
I can't let him prove what we
were doing is some
absurd failed thing,
but he's gotta hit rock
bottom, he's sick right now.
- [Frankie] You're right.
- [Patrick] Look,
I sent him a text,
we'll wait for him at the motel.
- Okay.
He wants to talk to you.
[moody orchestral music]
- [Frankie] No, not again,
seriously.
♪ When Sutton comes
marching home again ♪
♪ Hurrah, hurrah
♪ We'll give him a hearty
welcome then ♪
♪ Hurrah, hurrah
♪ The men will cheer and
the boys will shout ♪
♪ The ladies they
will all jump out ♪
♪ And we'll all feel gay
♪ When Sutton comes
marching home ♪
Right, Sutton?
- You're such a bad singer.
- I know.
- Like, really, it's really bad.
- Well I got the words right.
- I don't care about that.
[dramatic orchestral music]
- Jesus.
Yeah?
Sutton, open the goddamn door.
- What?
- Give it to me.
Wanna move on,
are we gonna move on?
Or are you gonna
be stuck in time?
Edith called.
- Did she make an offer?
- No.
- Well what's the offer?
- [Patrick] I don't know.
- You've already made up
your mind, haven't you?
- [Patrick] Haven't you?
Look, she wants
to see both of us.
What do I have to do to
get you to compromise?
Don't push too far, it's not
open season.
- I want you to
stop policing me.
- No hardcore drugs.
- Fine.
- Fine.
I'm sick of policing you anyway.
- [Frankie] I don't understand
why we're going back.
- [Sutton] We need
to go see Edith.
- Who's Edith?
- [Sutton] She's our cousin.
- [Frankie] Wait,
who's cousin, yours?
- No no no, she's both of
ours, Patrick and mine.
Don't worry, we're not related.
She's related to both of
us though on either side.
- [Frankie] Jesus.
- [Sutton] We found
out after we met.
- Wait so why are
we seeing Edith?
- [Sutton] Business.
[dramatic orchestral music]
- Here kid, new iPhone,
welcome present.
- [Frankie] Thanks!
- I finally get a chance to meet
the cocksucker everybody
been tellin' me about.
Isn't he cute?
Can he do anything for me?
- Not really.
- What about day labor?
- She's kidding.
- What?
How you know he doesn't
want to slaughter cattle?
Did you ask him?
Don't worry kid, I'm just
fuckin' wit you.
Have another drink,
Sutton's paying.
- Great.
- Can you believe I'm
related to these bottoms?
- We're not bottoms.
- Neither one of us
is a bottom.
- Like incest almost.
- No nothing like that actually.
- Frankie wanna take
the key and go lie down?
You look like shit.
- What's the matter with him?
- He's not well.
- He's sick.
- Like cancer or somethin'?
- No, nothing like that.
- Then what?
- Like an ailment.
- A general feel of malaise.
- The fuck's that?
Business is booming,
but I got bastards back
east bringing me down.
Accusations about
health code violations,
contaminated beef.
Undocumented workers.
Tax code, labor law.
- You're gonna look
us in the eye
and say that it's not true?
- We're making money,
baby, so much money.
That's why I need a good PR,
and you get your liberal
lips to pipe people down,
and you talk to your relatives.
I don't want none of that
anti-trust horseshit from the
government.
- What do we get?
- Money.
So what do you say?
- How long do we
have to stay here?
- We have to get Frankie to
a doctor's in California.
- Well get him on a plane.
- We can't.
- Why the hell not?
- He won't go without us.
- [scoffs] Are you fucking
kidding me?
Then you take him, huh?
What the hell is wrong
with the two of you?
This is business.
- Look Edith--
- Improve your own
goddamn lives,
else you won't be
good to anybody.
Oh, I'm sorry,
am I gonna have to fist you
in your fuckin' vaginas?
Take the goddamn money.
- We're gonna stay
here a few weeks.
- Wait, what for?
- Just a few weeks,
it'll be fine.
Need the money.
- I didn't know.
[dramatic orchestral music]
[vomits]
[coughing]
- What's another word
for restitution?
I don't want to use surrender.
Sutton?
- What's that?
- [Frankie] Edith says
stocks will
be up by the end of the quarter.
Do you think we
should diversify more?
- [Sutton] I mean it's
been a while
and we are doing really well.
I just don't think that we
should mess with things.
- [Patrick] Right.
When do we close on the
ridiculous house
in Santa Barbara that you
wanted?
- [Sutton] Wednesday.
I think that it's not
ridiculous.
- [Patrick] It's a goddamn
vogue castle,
not at all classy like
the ranch in Palm Springs.
- Oh we will be exhausted just
traveling between the two.
- [Patrick] I know.
- By the way those new credit
cards came in the other day.
- [Patrick] Oh great,
where did you leave them?
I wanna buy some things.
- Where's Frankie?
Edith was indicted.
- [Patrick] What for?
- Insider trading.
Securities and wire fraud.
Making false statements to a
grand jury.
- [Patrick] Are we
gonna lose a lot?
- I need to get out of
here for a little bit.
- What are you talking about?
You can't leave now.
- Things will get better for
us if we take some time apart,
I think.
- I'm not doing that, leaving
him!
Look.
We lost most of our money, and
property,
except for the apartment in
Santa Monica.
- You promised we'd be
in California by now.
We're still in this
fucking shit hole.
I don't understand
what you're doing.
I don't think it's good money,
I don't think you're
helping anybody.
You're not mopping
floors or faxing shit,
it's fucking reckless.
You fucked up,
and as soon as the doctors
give me the go ahead,
I'm going straight to
California,
and I'm never setting foot
in another fucking hospital.
Why are we spending
all this money on shit,
just because we can?
[dramatic orchestral music]
[door opens]
[door closes]
- Oh we have the three bottles
of pino from the wine casing.
- No, I have applications.
- He has applications,
he can't drink.
- [Sutton] Well we can
have a glass of something.
- Hello.
- [Sutton] Oh hi!
- You live...
- Oh yeah, just down there.
And you're...
- Right down the hall.
- No way.
- Oh wow.
I'm Sutton.
- Leni, this is my wife Gutrune.
- Hi Gutrune, this is my
partner Patrick,
and my other partner Frankie.
- Hi, hi.
- Nice to meet you.
- [Sutton] So you
guys headed out?
- We're headed out,
ya, we have work.
- Oh no.
- Work, on a Friday night.
- Well, party, work.
- Sure.
- Oh.
What do you guys do, are you
involved in the nightlife?
- We are in real estate
lately, I guess you would say.
Und then after we are
going for dinner somewhere,
I'm sure.
- Well would you
like to just join us?
- Yeah no, we've got
tons of food.
- Oh no, no, not tonight.
But perhaps you would like to
join us sometime in our place?
Maybe Sunday, perhaps?
- Do we have--
- No no no, that would be great.
- For food und poker!
- Poker?
- Ya.
- German poker.
- Ya, it's the best kind!
Und there's a Russian
couple living upstairs,
Nadja and Olga,
und they might join.
- Yeah, sure, well why not?
- I don't know.
- I kind of like them.
- Yeah, right.
- Frankie?
- No, I thought they
were really cool.
- A little much.
- No, they're just lesbians.
I mean, German, it'd be nice.
- Well I don't think
we should be
socializing with the neighbors.
- Why not?
- I don't know, it never ends
well.
We've got a lot going on here.
Frankie has his college
applications.
- They are killing me.
- They're killing him.
- Oh, right, right right right.
- The one, the more
assertive one,
she looks like she shoves
the other one around.
You noticed how she
never says anything?
- Well sometimes a
relationship can be like that.
- Domestic violence or
something.
- Oh, please!
- I don't know.
- You know, maybe we could
be a good influence here.
You know, show them how
good a threesome can be.
- Hey, yeah.
- Do we know any
single lesbians?
- Just because a
threesome works for us
doesn't mean it works so well
for some nutso German ladies.
And the Russians down
the hall are coming?
What is this, the UN.
- [laughs] No I think
Sutton actually has a point.
I mean, we always said
we're trying new stuff,
and it's really working now,
so I think we could you know
encourage other people to do the
same.
'Cause it's working and we
can tell them about the perks.
- Why?
- Because what we're
doing is the right idea.
- [Frankie] What?
- I don't know, it's a little
arrogant.
- What do you mean?
- It's working.
- You know there's a difference
between a well-wisher,
being a well-wisher of the
threesome idea,
if you know somebody asks,
and going around looking
for couples to fuck with,
trying to tell other people
their business.
- That's not what he means.
[dramatic orchestral music]
- You have a really big grill.
- In Germany, everything is big.
- In Russia too.
- Well then we're gonna
have to go to Germany.
- Ya, you should.
- Patrick is very
fond of big things.
- He's kidding, he's kidding.
- No, yeah, I'm kidding.
They know I'm kidding.
- So you're in, what is
it, open relationship?
- Oh no, we don't.
No, we're actually very happy.
When it was just Patrick
and me we weren't, really.
And then, you know, since
then, it's been really great.
I mean it's the first time for
any of us
that a long term relationship
has worked, really.
And I think it's more of a,
you know,
higher state of being, you know?
A more elevated state,
or at least,
something that we should
all be striving for.
You know?
And we make all of
our decisions equally.
- I see.
- And that--
- Frankie.
You want to help
Gutrune set the table?
- Do you want to come help too?
- I mean in a relationship,
it's usually just one
person calling the shots,
or you know, wearing the pants,
or whatever you want to
call it in your case.
But in our case,
we really make all of
the decisions together.
- Gutrune prefers I
call the shots.
- Oh, well.
At least you know that.
- Ya.
- You have it established.
- I call the shots,
but Olga and I like to
share everything equally.
- Oh, wow.
These are done, I mean,
you have never had a
hamburger recipe like this.
I am telling you, it's a secret
American recipe. [chuckles]
No sauerkraut though, or
borscht. [laughs]
Borsh, ke-bor,
how do you say it?
- Borscht.
- Borscht.
- Borscht.
- Borscht.
- Borscht, okay. [laughs]
Great, well, thank you.
Thank you for letting us come
into your kitchen
and take it over.
I just really wanted to show
you what a dinner could--
- Ya, Americans like to show.
- Watch out boys,
Nadja's gonna blow.
- Eights.
- Eights, Nadja! [laughs]
Gutrune, pull the money from
over there, I can't reach.
- I need coffee.
- Nadja, please, bitte!
We only have wine
here at this hour.
Wine.
Gutrune, get Nadja
some more wine.
Ya, a little more for
the whole table.
We need to loosen
our American friends,
they're playing so careful.
- We're losing.
- But really, a few
pennies here und there.
As you say, here und there.
Not that wine, Gutrune.
Not that one,
Gutrune, the other one!
The one that's...
[speaks angrily in German]
Well, we are doing quite
well, exceeding expectations.
- What do you mean,
expectations?
- Leni has dragged most pots.
- Und yet you keep playing.
- We are the only ones left.
- Almost.
There's still a few
units here und there.
The boys for example.
- Sorry, I'm just a little
bit, I don't understand.
- They have played most of
the owners in the
building and won.
- Won what?
- The units!
- Wait, did, for the, really?
- Yeah of course, why not?
- Are you kicking them out?
- No.
Well, some.
Most pay rent,
the ones we don't evict.
- Extreme rent increases.
- Get your elbows off the
table Gutrune, please!
So rude.
- We used to join with
them to beat the others,
but not anymore.
- Not anymore!
- So you lose a lot.
Why do you keep playing?
- Pride.
- I see you.
Und raise you.
2,000.
Are you unveiling?
Are you able?
I will of course understand
if you are unable.
- I am able.
- Then what's the problem, hm?
We are waiting,
the boys are bored.
They are shpectators.
They want to go home
and watch YouTube,
if you don't make your move.
- I will move.
- Soon?
[speaks in Russian]
- Okay, we are ready, ya?
- I would say.
- I would say here we go.
Three aces, und you?
Two twos?
Nadja, so crazy, can you
believe!
Okay, so that makes 2,000
from Nadja tonight so far,
and 200 from hamburger
und his helpers.
A little wound,
but not too sharp.
Gutrune, you know what I think?
I am beginning to think
that the boys are just that.
Boys.
Not men. [laughs]
Oh well.
- Let's go again.
- I'll see your 100,
Patrick meine friend,
und raise you 2,000.
- We don't have
cash like that on hand.
- I see.
Well what about
your parking spot?
You have one, right?
In the building, spot 22?
What do you say?
Where's the harm,
it's not your home!
You can park on
the street if you lose.
Get a permit, no big deal,
as they say.
- All right.
- All right!
Nadja?
- Fold.
- Really?
Nadja fold, so crazy.
- We fold.
- Is that true?
- Yeah, we fold.
- You take stock?
- Why not, we take
everything else.
- Hold these.
- Let him do it.
- 5,000.
- You are bluffing.
Well?
Well, three queens! [laughs]
So appropriate, so true!
Ya, how terrible for you.
Gutrune, make sure you
get a note for the stock.
Don't lose it, Gutrune.
If you do I will be in
a very bad mood.
You see I find it so amusing
that you boys arrive,
relatively new to the scene,
und you tell Gutrune and myself
and even Nadja und Olga und
who knows who else you spoke to
that your polygamous way
is not only the best way,
but the one and only way,
und at the root of this way,
is some notion of
what is fair to do.
Yet from the moment you
have walked in here,
you have done nothing but push
poor little Frankie around
like the garden maid.
It's very confusing.
Had you listened to him you
might still have a parking spot.
[chuckles]
But, what is true
is that you are
no more equal to each other
than Olga and Gutrune
are to Nadja and myself.
The only difference is we are
just a little more
obvious about it.
I call the shots, remember?
So?
Want to go again?
What about your apartment?
I'm afraid you're
still a little short.
How about ownership of your
blog, hm?
Gutrune, can you believe?
We are willing to put all
the units on the line,
but they would rather lose
most than gain everything.
- If we throw our unit in,
will you split the
earnings with us?
- Yes.
- I don't want to live here
if this bitch runs the joint.
- So, here we go.
Flush!
You see, I win again!
- Yes!
Yes!
- What are you doing,
what are you doing?
What is he doing?
You can't give apartment
back, she doesn't deserve it!
- We'll handle giving
back the units
on the first five floors.
You handle giving back the rest.
- We're not giving back.
- What do you mean?
- We're taking over as landlord.
- Wait, you're kicking them out?
- Not kicking out, but we won.
- Wait a minute, how is this
any better than the Germans?
- I'd worry about your half.
There are lots of thing.
- I should've kept the
Russians out of it.
- Well, we needed them.
- We at least made
a ton of money.
- Mm, yeah.
[dramatic orchestral music]
- [Doctor] It's looking good,
kid.
- Oh, fuck.
[light guitar music]
- Katrina wants to have
us over on the 15th
to meet her new girl friends.
- I'll make sure I put
that in my calendar.
- I had a shit day, you know.
Just dreadful, with the blog.
But thank God I have it.
It keeps me mentally active.
Critical thinking, you know.
It's important to stay critical.
Is the 15th good for you,
Frankie?
You gonna be able to fit it in,
what with your busy schedule?
- Mm-hm.
- [Patrick] You know
you've been spending
a lot of time in front
of the TV lately.
You think that's a good idea?
- Leave him alone.
- Indolence is never
an attractive quality.
- It isn't indolence.
- I've spent the last
six months gardening and
building furniture like the
desk you like so much, so.
- Yeah, let him have a
break if he wants it.
- You want to watch this shit?
- Yeah, sometimes.
- Sutton stop it, don't pretend.
- What difference does it make?
He's going to school,
he's active.
- He's wasting time wasting
his life on nothing,
this is nothing.
- What do you want from him?
- More than nothing.
- You live upstairs?
- Yes, I live upstairs.
- Right, I'm Sutton, and
this is my partner Patrick.
- Hey.
- Hello, I'm Sajida.
- Our other partner is
on the sofa being a lug,
he's a bit lazy.
- Would you like some coffee?
- Yes.
- Or some jello mold?
We have leftovers.
- Not really.
We need your help.
- How?
- I'm sure you're
aware of the battle
we're having with
the neighbors next door.
- The Iranians?
- They play loud music
to all ends of the night.
It's very difficult for my wife
to sleep.
- You have a wife,
who is your wife?
- Raja.
- I didn't even know
that you had a wife.
- Well, okay--
- I mean I've never
seen her before.
- Okay, well yes--
- Isn't she a doctor or
something?
- No.
Anyway, that is not the point.
The point is that I think that
they're trying to drive
us from the apartment.
- Oh?
- So they can knock down the
walls and make it one unit.
- That's awful.
- Tell me about it.
- I can't believe that.
- And well everyone knows
that you're doing quite well,
so I was wondering if you
could consider loaning us
some money to soundproof
the apartment.
- Can you really soundproof
an apartment entirely?
- Well additional installation.
We'd pay you back, of course.
- Right, well, um--
- I'm sure you're
aware of how much
instability there is in the
building,
and well, I don't know
if you're heard,
but Nadja is finding it hard
to manage the
units they took over.
- Oh.
- She might lose them.
Even still, she offered
to loan us the money,
but well, I wanted
to approach you first.
- Uh-huh.
- I don't think it's
a good idea that
Nadja has so much control
over the building, you know?
- No, of course not,
we don't either.
- And we need this.
We need your help.
We also have fresh vegetables
growing on our balcony.
Kale and whatnot.
My wife says they're better
than the farmer's market.
Take as much as you want.
- You know.
- I know.
- Frankie's doctor said...
- Frankie's doctor
said that his health is
dependent on him eating
organic vegetables.
- What is the matter with him?
- He's sick.
- He's not well.
- Is it cancer?
- No.
- Well than what,
I don't understand.
- It's more of a feeling,
a malaise.
- The fuck is that?
- It just means that he
needs to eat healthy food.
- Well there you go!
We have more than enough.
What a trade.
So?
- You know, Sajida,
I just want to say,
I really want to emphasize
that the best thing
that happened to Patrick
and me is Frankie.
And the best advice
that I can give to you
is to get a second wife.
Now I know it's not
what you're used to
or what you came here wanting,
but a polyamorous relationship
like ours has it's benefits.
You make a lot more money.
It's better to make decisions
that way.
Now, I will talk this over with
Patrick,
and we'll mention it to Frankie,
but I really hate what
your neighbors are doing
just like we hate
knowing that Nadja
is in control of so
much of the building.
But this idea of a
three way relationship,
I really think that you
should think about it.
Would you be willing
to think about that?
- [Patrick] What the
hell was that?
- [Sutton] I've been thinking
about it,
I've been thinking that we
never see anyone
from the top floors.
They never come to
any of the parties.
- [Patrick] That doesn't mean--
- [Sutton] We need
to be a little bit
more realistic
about our situation.
We live in a crowded
building where
half of the apartments
are hostile towards us.
I think it's a good idea
to send a message
of generosity and then we have
one more neighbor who likes us.
And I think that she
really took to my idea
of getting a third person
in her relationship.
I mean I think it would solve
a lot of their problems.
- [Patrick] Yeah, I don't
think she took to it.
- [Sutton] Well why
wouldn't she take to it?
- Well I said not everyone
thinks it's such a good idea.
- [Sutton] Well you
think it's a good idea.
- Well yeah I know, but for
us, not everyone's like us.
I don't know why it's so
important
for you to do what we do.
We've had this
conversation before.
- [Sutton] Can we just
give them the money?
Let's just give them the money.
I mean if we don't,
then things are just gonna get
worse between
Sajida and the Iranians,
and we're gonna have more of
Nadja's shit to deal with.
If we say no and Nadja
gives them the money,
then they'll resent us for it.
I mean Frankie wants to do this.
- [Patrick] Frankie's
watching reruns,
he doesn't give a
shit about this.
- [Sutton] Frankie!
- [Frankie] Yeah?
- [Sutton] Should we
give the Iraqis
some money to
soundproof their apartment?
Frankie?
- What?
- [Sutton] Should we give
the Iraqis some money?
- 'Kay.
- See?
- Fine.
[dramatic orchestral music]
[water trickling]
[cartoon music]
[dramatic orchestral music]
- I saw this one pasty girl
with like stringy red hair.
And the guy is like,
"Can we shave your head?"
And then they take
her hair and this like
big ball of butter you know and
they mash the butter
and her hair together.
And she's gotta eat it.
And so she eats it,
she gets like a certain
amount of money or something.
The whole time she's
eating it, she's like,
she's like gagging and
struggling and like
puking it right back up.
But guess how
much she did it for?
- [Sutton] How much?
- 20 bucks!
- That's it?
- I know, people are
so fuckin' stupid.
They'd had to
give me like 20,000
at least to do
something like that.
- [Sutton] Well maybe she
just wanted to be on TV.
- God, that show is so good.
That channel has
the fuckin' best shows.
- How's school?
- I don't know.
- Have you thought
about dropping out maybe
and getting your
real estate license,
or getting a job now so that
you can make some money?
Don't you think
that'd be a good idea?
- [Frankie] Actually maybe.
- I mean you gotta do
what you want to do
so that you can be happy.
- [Frankie] Right.
- If we've learned
anything from this,
it's to listen to what
you want more,
and I think the universe is
trying to tell us something
by giving you the
idea to come out here.
- [Frankie] Yeah,
I think so too.
Oh the bathroom ceiling
is actually leaking.
Tried to brush my
teeth this morning,
water kept dripping on my head.
- You think she's flooding the
bathroom?
- [Frankie] Who?
- Sajida.
- [Frankie] The Iraqis, really?
- Well, they live
right above us.
- [Frankie] Yeah, but why
would they want to do that?
We do a lot for them.
- You wanna do
something about it?
- [Frankie] Well, can we
do something about it?
- We could sue.
And then if we won damages
and they didn't pay us,
we could get the condo
repossessed.
- [Frankie] Well, will
they even pay us, anyway?
- I know, they probably
wouldn't.
So then the condo board would
own it and then rent it out.
- [Frankie] That would
take forever, right?
- To be honest,
I met a few other
Iraqi women that
are in a three way
relationship like us,
and I think they'd do
something nice with the place.
- [Frankie] No, I don't
want to buy a condo
or something stupid.
- No, no no no no.
- [Frankie] And I
don't like that we even
own these units
in the first place.
- No, I'd be fine with
them owning it eventually,
and they seem like nicer women.
- [Frankie] Okay, yeah.
- Great, I'll get the
process started.
Oh and I've been thinking
that it might not be
such a bad idea if stop putting
as much money into
our joint bank accounts
and then more into our
individual ones.
That way we can get
our own groceries too.
I mean we could go
shop at Smart Mart
instead of Fresh Foods
all the time.
♪ You can buy Twinkertots
at Smart Mart ♪
[laughs]
- [Patrick] I'm on a deadline,
but I know we need to
talk about the bathroom.
Let me just finish this first.
- Hey, I'm gonna head
to Smart Mart in a sec.
Do you want anything?
- What are you talking about?
- [Frankie] I'm gonna
buy me some Twinkertots.
- Twinkertots?
- [Frankie] Yeah, I love 'em.
- Those are nothing but sugar.
Are you out of your mind?
- [Frankie] Well Sutton
says he thinks
we should all buy our own
groceries,
we don't have to agree.
And I can eat whatever
the hell I want.
- You're not gonna
eat that shit.
- [Frankie] I think
it's a great idea.
- Well, then you're ridiculous.
You're siding with Sutton on
something that's
going to make you sick.
What the fuck did
you say to him?
- We're evicting the Iraqis
for flooding the bathroom.
- [Cathy] People are begging me.
Cathy, please, please, Cathy.
You have the most successful
reality TV show
of all time, okay?
- What is this?
- [Sutton] Preliminary letter
we need to legally
deliver to the Iraqis.
Just stick it under the door
when you have the chance.
- Fuck.
- [Woman] What the [talking
in foreign language]
think they can get
away with anything
just because they have more
money than the rest of us?
[yelling in foreign language]
I never flooded anything!
They're the ones flooding
people's heads with lies.
Fear.
They cooked this up and the
craven bastards on
the board sold the lie.
They think we need a threesome?
Try to tell me how
to run my home?
I'm coming down there.
- This is...
[doorbell ringing]
- You had me out
there for 10 minutes.
- I'm sorry, I didn't hear you.
Here, just let me
help you with that.
- Be careful with my wrap.
My son made my wrap for me.
- All right.
- Here kid.
- What is that?
- Coupons for your junk food
and sodas that you like.
- Oh sweet!
- Also that store where
you get your clothes from
is having a final sale on those
little workout shorts that
you wear all the time.
- Hey, thank you.
How did you know I
like all this stuff?
- Well, I also made
a list of TV shows
and some porn sites that
you might want to check out.
Based on your interests.
- Okay!
Hey um, I'm almost
out of snacks,
got these coupons from her.
Can I please have some money?
- You need to learn how to
budget better.
I heard they're hiring
down at Smart Mart.
- Yeah I already have
three part time jobs.
- Well, maybe you can ask
your parents for some money.
- Right, yeah.
Like they have money.
It's not like we can all
ask our parents for anyway,
we don't all have a trust fund.
- You know Sister Wives is
starting,
maybe you want to
go live tweet about it?
- [Frankie] I'm going.
- Nadja's broke.
She can't cover all
of her mortgages.
Barely holding her own.
I think her and Olga
are taking another wife,
if you can believe that.
- Jeez.
- You need to nab
these when they go.
Beyond that,
I have a list of a
bunch of buildings
that I think you
boys ought to buy.
We'll make a bundle
when the bottle blows.
- You want to buy distressed
properties?
- Buy the buildings dirt cheap.
You do some cosmetic
improvements
that hide the underlying rot,
and you trick suckers into
snatching them
in a final sales contract.
- You want to commit fraud?
- What the fuck is
wrong with you?
What the fuck is wrong with him?
I got to talk innocent to him,
is that it?
Oh, so you want me to lie to you
so you can say
you weren't there.
We gonna do this or not?
- [Sutton] We'll do it.
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
- [Edith] He gonna go
along with it?
- He won't stop it.
- I mean look, I just got
acquitted.
I need this.
- I know.
- What about Frankie?
- Frankie's watching Frasier.
- Fine.
I'll fill it with some figures
and finalize the
fine print by Friday.
[men laughing]
[video game sounds]
- Die, fucker.
Yes!
[burp]
Fuck, my tooth.
[groaning]
I feel like shit.
- [Woman] Telephone please,
Dr. Davis, Telephone please.
- Look first of all,
I want to thank Frankie
for allowing me
to take the lead on
making him well.
I think we all got sidetracked
from what's really important,
it'll be nice to implement
some changes
I believe will make a big
difference.
At the same time Sutton
I want to be real clear,
it's important for
us all to agree.
I'm willing to make some
compromises,
because frankly otherwise
the fighting will never end.
So the first thing I think we
should do
is start buying our groceries
again on the joint account.
- No.
- Okay, do you
have another idea?
- Yeah 'cause now that I'm
on my own for expenses,
I'm kind of having a hard
time paying for food.
I had to pick up another
job at Smart Mart,
and I don't even have time
to watch Dance Palms anymore.
- I mean it's not a good idea.
We need to be able to
choose where we shop.
I mean don't you want
to pick what you eat,
or do you want Patrick in charge
of what you stick in your mouth?
- No, I'd like to choose, but--
- And another thing is Patrick,
the Iraqis are leaving this
weekend,
I don't want to
discuss letting them stay
if that's what you're thinking.
Bitch slapped Frankie.
- She slapped me
across the face.
- Across the face,
I want her out.
- Which makes sense.
- You aren't gonna fuck with
the plan to buy
the building are you?
'Cause if you are,
I'm calling Edith.
We'll make more money this way,
and that's good for Frankie,
and we need to
keep making money.
And since Edith is the only one
with ideas on how to do that,
I think that she should have an
equal say in the
decisions that we make.
- Well, sorry I just don't
really get that part,
because she's not in the
relationship with us, so--
- No no, more like a councilor.
You don't need
to worry, it'll be fine.
Oh, by the way, we need the
password to your iCloud account.
- What for?
- So that we can look at your
photos and track your phone.
- Uh, why do you
want to track my phone?
- So that we know where you are.
- But--
- [Sutton] You want
to be safe, right?
- Uh, yeah.
- [Sutton] Well right now,
Edith is the only
one with access.
- Edith's been looking at my
dick picks?
- She has access, I don't
know if she's been looking.
- What does a lesbian want
to look at my dick for
and like track me and shit?
- You wanted the phone, right?
- Yeah.
Well what about the drain clog?
- [Sutton] What about it?
- Last time Edith was here,
she showered and
clogged the drain,
and it still hasn't been fixed.
- I agree, that's terrible.
- I'll call a plumber.
- No, that's not a good idea.
- Then what?
- That's another thing, Patrick.
You've been in charge
of household repairs.
And whenever you're in
charge you say you're
going to fix things and
then they never get fixed.
- It's true, they're not fixed.
- Because you won't
call the plumber!
- Frankie doesn't want us
wasting money on a plumber,
and I don't even use that
bathroom.
What else you got?
- You've got other ideas, right?
- You all right?
- No!
I'm not, actually,
I'm fuckin' pissed.
You know what,
now that I think about it,
you need to stay out of my
business.
And give me some more
independence for Christ sake.
I can make my own choices,
and you need to
buy me more shit!
I can't afford to deal
with this on my own.
I need medicine and doctors
visits
and my goddamn Twintertots.
I mean is that so hard?
I want you two to be positive,
and all you are is negative!
You never agree on anything,
and Sutton you never want
to do anything differently,
and you always make
some promise about
some new fucking ideas
about how to change things,
but I don't know,
to me it sounds a lot like
things are gonna stay the same.
And don't think I don't
know that you're suing
the Yemanese and her
biker bitch girlfriend,
and threatening the Sudanese on
the third floor with
the same fate,
even though I specifically
said I don't want us
getting involved in other
people's unit!
And why, because you're Suda
will fucking call you out?
If they flood the
bathroom again?
I mean Jesus, let them,
they're three floors below us!
It's none of our goddamn
business!
And you know
what's next I suppose is
kicking out the Iranians, yeah?
Who by the way are storing
up all kinds of shit,
jamming the fucking garbage
shoot and other hazards,
causing a fuck ton of dangers
that neither of you two
are doing anything about
because you're too busy
trying to get the same
access to my phone
that Edith apparently does
instead of fucking trusting me.
That's the fucking
point of this!
I mean, I don't know, I don't
feel well, I want to lie down.
[pots clanging]
- Don't start.
- You're a liar.
[scoffs]
You want one thing and
you advocate another.
You say you want everyone
to decide for themselves
and then you make big
blundering decisions you want
everyone to go along with.
- That you go along with.
- And I hate you for it.
- You don't hate me.
- Oh no?
- You don't hate me.
- Then what is it
exactly that I hate?
Why don't you tell me, just
so I can have a general idea.
- You're weak.
- [Frankie] Oh hey, sorry,
are you that clown from TV?
- [Cathy] Yeah, hey kid.
- [Frankie] Do you live here?
- [Cathy] Oh yeah, too long.
- [Frankie] I love your show,
it's the best show ever.
- [Cathy] Yeah, that right?
Just wait, I've got
a new show coming,
it's gonna be even better.
The best.
- Cool.
- [Cathy] Yeah,
network is gonna give us
some money to fix up the
building, too.
You know, redo the
lobby and that.
- [Frankie] Sweet.
- [Cathy] We need new ways
of doing things around here,
otherwise shit never gets done.
It's a complete
fucking disaster.
- [Frankie] Yeah, you tell me.
- [Cathy] Hey, you got
time for a soda?
- [Frankie] Can I
have ice cream in it?
You know I was
thinking that we should
have somebody to like
decide things for us.
- [Sutton] You mean like an
advisor?
That's why we have Edith.
- [Frankie] No no
not like an advisor,
like somebody who
can really run stuff.
- [Sutton] Like,
what do you mean?
- [Frankie] Think like
Cathy down the hall.
- [Sutton] The clown lady
with the reality show?
- [Frankie] Yeah, she's
got a ton of money,
I think she'd be really great
at helping us manage ours.
And she said if you
wanted to keep
more funds in your
account you don't
have to put it in the joint
account.
That's what you've always
wanted, right?
- Did you talk with her?
- I'm gonna have way more money
than you and Patrick soon,
I don't want to be spreading it
around.
- She said that?
- I just think it's lucky.
I think it's lucky that we found
someone
from one of my favorite TV shows
who wants to call
the shots and wants to
help us solve everything that
we can't seem to right now.
- You know I don't think that
she'll--
- I'm tired of trusting Patrick.
You know sometimes he
can be a real drag.
- Right.
- I have some other ideas too.
- Like what?
- I think we need to get
back to watching TV together
instead of you guys
reading books all the time
and eat food like
cookies and french fries.
These neighbors don't need to
come over for visits anymore.
You know, like you said,
they're gonna want to
spend the night I bet,
and eat all my Twinkertots and
make a mess and
not do any house work.
- Did I say that?
- You know, we're better off
without them.
Oh, by the way, I decided
to drop out of school.
You know like you said,
who needs it.
- You really want to
take the risk
of letting this crazy lady
control things?
- Whatever, I'm just
sick of this.
If it's not Cathy now,
it's gonna be someone else
eventually,
because you guys
can't figure it out.
- Right.
- [Frankie] So, you cool?
- Well.
- Those three Iraqi
women moved in yesterday,
they're already threatening
to flood the entire floor,
and what did I say?
Did I not say?
Very unstable.
I won't consent to your scheme
unless we implement
some changes for safety
or else this is
getting out of control.
- Fine.
- I want to make sure I do
what's best for Frankie.
- [laughs] Right.
- The hell is that
supposed to mean?
- Chumps and salesmen,
that's what it is.
Nice try sweet pea, but
you do what's best for you.
- You know what Edith--
- You ever look at that kid
and think maybe this is it?
Not that the opportunity
isn't there,
opportunity is irrelevant.
He might want to, but
he will never be you.
You wouldn't want that anyway.
No more good can be attempted
than the kid can bear,
and the kid can't
bear any more good.
Sutton accepts who he is.
Who's he gonna go along with?
- Look, I believe in
what we're doing.
- Or is it just that you've
been doing it for so long,
your beef ain't with them?
[dramatic orchestral music]
- Look, I already got
Edith to consent to changes
if we're gonna go along
with buying those buildings.
[toilet flushes]
So see, we're making
some real progress here.
- Okay, this one's for you.
So this one's jump,
square and circle.
- Jump is X.
- And then punch, kick,
and that's throw stuff.
- Punch, kick, throw stuff.
- And you hold these down
for special moves, there's
like fire and stuff too.
Now you just get to pick
whoever you want to be.
- I want to be the red one.
- I will be the lady one.
- Oh, right. [laughs]
This one is throw, right?
- Yeah.
- Okay, all right.
- Prepare to die!
- [Sutton] Okay, ready?
[video game beeps]
- Yes!
Boom!
- [Sutton] Oh oh oh oh oh!
Boom.
- [Frankie] Eat that, yep, yep!
- [Sutton] Oh! [laughs]
- [Frankie] There it is!
---
[effect plays]
[glass breaks]
[classical music]
- No, they're still there.
I'm telling you, it's a fuckin'
funhouse.
I'm subjected to defendin'
myself.
Well, someone needs to say
to them, you know what,
did you make a mistake of buyin'
a home you couldn't afford
and now you're broke?
And you want me to give back
the money I was promised,
my bonus for doin' my job?
I mean I care.
What?
What kind of knickers?
What color are they?
And the bra?
Oh send me a picture, I
hate using my imagination.
What's that?
Oh Sara you cow, I can't
come back to London.
Not yet anyway.
You know that.
Christ, I hate Americans.
[dramatic orchestral music]
- Christ Frankie, what
are you, a coal miner?
- Sorry.
- You hungry?
You want to know what time
your boyfriend got home today?
- No, don't tell him.
- I'm telling him.
He never left the apartment.
Can you believe it?
I want that job.
I gotta stare at computer
screens in coffee shops.
That bank busts Frankie's balls.
10 o'clock and no overtime,
is that even legal?
He's an assistant for Christ
sake.
- I was a slave to my books.
- Yeah, well there's an idea.
I bet Frankie wouldn't
mind slaving around all day
with a book and a latte.
- I don't like lattes.
- He doesn't drink lattes.
- Orange juice, whatever,
you know what I mean.
And you know what,
I'm not living with this one
much longer if he's not working.
Pretty soon he's gonna
watch game shows all day.
- That sounds kind of fun.
- I don't know, maybe, I mean...
- See, don't encourage him.
It's like gluttony on steroids.
- All right, all right all
right.
- What were you visiting
on your way home today?
- Yeah, Saint Paul's chapel.
- That's it?
You pass that every day.
Did you go inside?
I told you to look at more
places.
What happened to that?
- I was working.
- You know there's a lot to
learn and see,
it's important to take advantage
of.
- Is the chicken cold?
- No, sorry.
[laughs]
- You're not eating the chicken?
- No, it's good, I like it.
- What's the matter with you?
It's good chicken.
- It's just, it's too much.
- Oh, I bought a jello
mold for after dinner.
- You made a jello mold?
What the hell for, do they
do that where you're from?
- Not where I'm from.
- I'm not eating jello mold.
- Well I didn't buy it for you.
- Well Frankie doesn't
eat jello mold either.
How chin ups you do on the
bar in the hallway last night?
- 50.
- Without stopping?
- 29.
- See? Eat your chicken.
You can't do pull ups
without hormone-free chicken.
Fawn to counter.
- Can I just eat the meatballs,
please?
- If he eats the chicken,
will you shut up about it?
- Well I won't be there.
- Frankie, eat your chicken.
- I'm gonna throw some chicken
in a sec.
- Go ahead, I love civil
disobedience.
- Stop it.
- Patrick, just uh, quickly.
[romantic orchestral music]
- Okay, just relax.
Oh. [laughs]
There, that better?
- Does he need to see
Dr. Reingold?
[vomits]
- Not so good, kid.
- [Sutton] You need to quit your
job.
- Yeah, and do what?
- What do you want to be a slave
to a British banker for anyway?
- The doctor says that
you need to make changes
or things are gonna get worse.
- Yeah, the doctor doesn't
even know what's wrong with me.
- It's the shitty boss that's
making you sicker is the bottom
line.
You're better off working
for yourself somehow.
- You can't stay dependent on
a company that cares nothing for
you.
They make decisions that
affect your well-being,
you don't have any say.
- But we need money, right?
- Look, we have my trust.
Patrick is making a lot
from his blog right now.
We will be fine, you can
work when you're well.
Start your own company or
something.
Just do whatever it is
that you want to do.
- I can't start--
- [Patrick] We do not need this.
- Look, Patrick and I are
only happy if you're happy.
And you are not happy right now.
You know, this thing
that we're doing here?
The three of us?
I really believe that it is the
only way.
- I know.
- And it won't work
if we're dependent
on any one else.
[slow dramatic orchestral music]
- Follow me.
Call Juanita, tell she
needs to clean on Monday,
not Tuesday, out by four.
Reschedule my chiropractor for
the 13th.
Also on the 15th I have
to fly to Chicago by six.
Oh and it's my sister's
birthday on the 14th.
See if you can find a scarf
or something seemingly
expensive.
I had a dream the other night.
I had to urinate.
In searching for a pot,
I found several.
Some were old, with a
chord or a lever.
Others were new,
with buttons, a bidet.
The seats, they were
covered in cellophane.
So that if I got on
with it, I'd wet myself.
Rather than settling for
the disappointment of one,
I tested them all.
And as I was toweling
myself off afterwards,
I saw the one from
my childhood home.
Alone in the corner.
No cellophane, waiting.
The bank is cutting costs,
I'm sure you're aware.
You'll get a 10% dock in pay.
- I quit.
- [Woman] What?
- I quit.
[dramatic orchestral music]
- [Patrick] Sutton come on,
let's go!
Where should we go today?
It's your day, we'll do whatever
you want.
- [Sutton] We could
go to the zoo.
- [Patrick] Frankie, you want to
do that?
Let's go to the Bronx.
- [Frankie] I want to go west.
- [Patrick] West where?
- [Sutton] You mean the high
line?
- [Frankie] No I mean we can
go to the zoo, that's fine.
I mean I want us to move.
- [Frankie] You want what?
- [Frankie] I want us to move
west.
- [Sutton] You mean like
Ho-bul-can?
- [Frankie] No, I mean like
California,
or San Francisco, or like
Portland or something.
I think it'd be good, you know?
Like change, like quitting the
bank.
- [Patrick] Are you
out of your mind?
We're not doing that.
You're not well
enough to do that.
I'm not doin' that.
You just quit your job!
We were gonna go to the zoo,
we were gonna look
at a goddamn seal,
not move across country.
- [Frankie] The doctor said
change would be good for me,
so I think we should go.
- [Patrick] I can't
leave the city,
I'll be a fish out of water.
That's it, I'm going
back to the apartment.
- [Sutton] Okay, wait a minute.
Jesus!
- It's a stupid idea.
- Maybe.
- An irresponsible idea.
- You wanted him
to be more independent.
- [Patrick] He doesn't
have the wherewithal
to make decisions like that.
He's too young, he didn't go
to college for Christ sake.
He doesn't know
what's best for him.
- [Sutton] Oh, but you do?
- [Patrick] More than him.
- [Sutton] Well it's his life.
- [Patrick] Our lives,
it's our lives, Sutton.
The decision affects us all.
- [Sutton] Maybe, but it might
be a good idea to expand.
- [Patrick] No, I hate
expanding.
People leave the city when they
don't know what they want
or they fuck up and quit.
- [Sutton] Or because they're
looking for something more.
Look, I am hesitant on the idea
too, okay?
- [Patrick] It's not
good for us.
- [Sutton] Well it might
be good for him.
And if it's good for him,
then it's good--
- [Patrick] He doesn't
own the apartment,
we should be making
the decision ourselves,
we have all the money!
- [Sutton] Well, then
maybe we should let him
buy into the apartment or
something
so that it's a little
bit more fair.
- [Patrick] What?
[groans] How?
- [Sutton] I don't know,
but it makes sense,
from his point of view.
- [Patrick] I'm not doing
it, you talk to him.
- [Sutton] Oh, Christ.
Let's just, he'll cool off.
- [Frankie] I don't understand,
are we supposed to just stay
here the rest of our lives,
'cause that's what he wants?
I mean is that what you want?
- [Sutton] Look, I hear
what you're saying--
- [Frankie] And haven't
you wanted to go west?
- [Sutton] Yes, I do.
- [Frankie] I get that
you're smarter than me,
you're both smarter
than me, I get it.
- [Sutton] You are smart.
- [Frankie] But I need
to be listened to
if we're going to stay together.
I need to have a
say in what we do.
- And I'm not a fucking peasant.
- Right.
If he's not gonna
listen to my ideas,
if he's not gonna
listen to my ideas,
I'm not gonna support him,
or listen to his advice.
- [Woman] Two bedroom,
two bath, newly renovated,
three blocks from the Pacific.
Owners are French,
they're looking to unload.
It's a goddamn steal, what
they're asking.
- Let me talk it
over with Patrick.
- [Woman] What the fuck
is there to talk about?
- [laughs] Jesus, okay,
how much time do I have?
- Look, I've been taking
everything into account,
and I think we should
consolidate our debt.
- Oh no no no no no, I
am not consolidating.
You and Frankie have so
much more debt than I do!
- Well I mean, are we in
this together, or not?
- Yes, yeah,
but some things are just
better left kept separate.
- Oh I see, so if it's
something I want,
we should keep everything
separate.
- Oh my God.
- If it's something
you and Frankie want,
suddenly it's majority ruled.
I think we should
consolidate our debt
and then agree not
to take on any more.
That's what I think.
- I'm not in the mood okay?
So not today.
- [Patrick] What's the
matter with you?
- [Frankie] The doctor
increased my medication.
- [Sutton] What?
- [Frankie] My stomach hurts
and all I wanna do is sleep.
- I think we need to take
him to see Dr. Reingold.
Don't you think we
should do that?
- I bought us a condo
in Santa Monica.
- Wait, really?
- Yeah.
I've been doing some research,
and there's a holistic doctor
out there
that I think would be
really good for Frankie.
- You bought an apartment in
California, you didn't tell me?
- Yeah, it's better that we
get there sooner than later.
- I thought we all had
a say in what's best.
This isn't me overreacting
this time Sutton,
you're on a rampage!
He's sick and you're using it
as an excuse to go
on a goddamn rampage.
- I'm not on a rampage!
- Are you an escrow?
- Hey Sutton can you
please call the doctor,
I really don't feel well.
- [Woman] Dr. Davis,
telephone please.
Dr. Davis, telephone please.
- Hey, I'm just going
to take a listen, okay?
- Okay.
- You're fat now, a little.
[laughs]
- Please.
- Gay man fat, I see
you in your midsection.
- You're just fuckin' with me.
- So serious.
- Alex you think that
doctor in California
is really gonna have the answer?
- I dunno.
That is not the point.
You know, what you are
doing here with them,
it may be the answer to why it
never works with two people.
But to work, Frankie must
be well.
- You don't understand.
- No?
Okay, I don't understand.
I'm just a doctor who
works in prisons.
Cough please, spread your
cheeks.
Is it cark, no?
Okay, that is all.
Who asked me to leave
work and come here?
Sutton? Is he here?
No.
Frankie? No, you did.
You want to know what I think?
I think you go,
and everyone wins.
Improvements and adventures.
This is stagnation.
- [Patrick] How is Louise?
- [Alex] We are still
getting over Carmine.
- You think she'll
ever try again?
- Menage a trois?
Who knows.
- You know at first with
Frankie, it was just sexual.
Sutton and I aren't versatile,
so it was nice to
have someone for that.
But then after a while,
you know when we knew
there was potential,
it's nice to be needed.
- And what about to need?
You need him, hm?
Well.
[dramatic orchestral music]
- [Patrick] Look, it was
dumb of me
not to let you have a say,
I get that now.
- [Frankie] You can't resent
him?
- [Sutton] I don't, you
and Sutton matter more.
Look there's one thing
I need from you though.
It's hypocritical of
him not to agree,
he's only thinking of himself.
- [Frankie] What is it?
- [Sutton] You manipulated him.
- [Patrick] No, I asked,
it's a compromise.
The debt will go down faster
if we're all paying it together.
- [Sutton] That is not a
compromise,
no it's not a compromise,
we talked about...
[slow dramatic orchestral music]
- [Patrick] Frankie,
Sutton's making juice.
You want one?
- [Sutton] Does he want one?
[slow orchestral music]
- [Patrick] They gotta
have some nuts or something
at least that isn't processed.
- [Frankie] I think there's
a bathroom around the back.
- Don't touch anything.
- I won't.
- Uh, there's no treadmill,
by the way.
- Well, get used to it.
That's what we're
in for out here.
Look, I know I didn't
get very far today,
but I want you to
see all the sights.
You feel up for that, right?
- Yeah.
- 'Cause I'm torn.
We got to get you to
California for the doctor lady.
Look I know we
should have flown,
but it's good to have new
experiences.
- Yeah, right.
Oh, I'm starving.
There's gotta be a diner
around here or something.
Maybe get some eggs.
Huh Sutton, eggs?
Sutton!
Eggs!
Guess you're not
coming with us, huh?
Are you ready?
- [Frankie] I want a soda,
do you guys want anything?
- [Sutton] Yeah, nothing diet.
- Patrick?
- I'm fine.
- [Sutton] What?
- [Patrick] You brought
a lot of drugs with you.
- [Sutton] Yeah, well,
road trip, you know?
You know I was thinking that
maybe I'd let Frankie try some.
He was talking to me
about the molly the other,
and I don't know, I think
maybe he might like it.
- [Patrick] Uh huh.
- [Sutton] What is
wrong with you?
You're acting funny.
- [Patrick] I'm a little
creeped out by all the drugs,
is all.
- [Sutton] What do you mean?
- [Patrick] Well, you know
I've never approved of it.
- [Sutton] Yeah,
I know, for you.
- [Patrick] No, not just
for me, not just for me.
I never thought it was a
particularly ingenious idea,
but I was tolerating it,
I've been tolerating it.
You know I've been
looking the other way,
for the sake of the
relationship.
- [Sutton] Don't start, please.
- [Patrick] You never would
have agreed to getting together
if I had said no to the drugs.
- [Sutton] Yeah, I know.
- [Patrick] I always
thought it was
some sort of youthful
phase sort of thing,
a gross, bad, dumb, you know,
that would eventually fade out.
And it wasn't worth throwing
the whole relationship away.
But now, what
you're saying to me,
you're telling me that instead
of fading out the drugs,
you want Frankie to do them too.
Are you out of
your fucking mind?
So I don't think that's,
you know,
a good idea to have two
crack addicts running around.
Not to mention the fact
that the whole reason
we're headed west is
to make Frankie well!
- [Sutton] Oh this is
completely unreasonable.
I mean you've seen me, you've
known that I smoke pot.
This wasn't a surprise.
And to the extent
that you don't approve?
I mean you've always been
perfectly happy
to look the other way in
order to get what you want.
So now you're telling me
that you have a problem,
I think you're trying to slam
me to get the upper hand.
- [Patrick] No.
- [Sutton] And you tried
drugs early on too,
so don't act so innocent.
[laughs]
- [Patrick] Hardly, I didn't
know what I was doing.
I knew you would bring that up.
- [Sutton] And Frankie
wants to try something new,
he's perfectly entitled to
make up his mind on his own.
- [Patrick] We're not
expanding the drug use here,
we're limiting it.
[scoffs]
- [Sutton] Wait, we're
not limiting my use, huh?
Is that what you're saying?
- No.
- [Sutton] Because that
would be the next thing,
to tell me what to do.
- [Patrick] No, you do
what you want.
Just so Frankie's not
inhaling a bunch of poison.
If he thinks that's a good idea,
then he's too fucking asinine
to make decisions for himself.
Pretty soon you'll want
me to join in.
- Controlling.
- [Patrick] And we'll
be one big crack family.
No, I'm trying not to
live on a crack farm.
- [Sutton] I don't do crack!
I don't inject anything!
- Cocaine, whatever,
you know what I mean.
- [Sutton] Sick
people smoke pot.
I mean cancer, Jesus.
And I mean, if Frankie
joined in every now and then,
maybe I would want to
do it a little bit less.
- [Patrick] That's ridiculous,
where's the logic in that?
- [Sutton] Well, we would
only do it together. [laughs]
- [Patrick] Yeah, all the
fucking time!
You're not doing it,
don't get any ideas.
- [Frankie] Is he mad
at me or something?
- [Sutton] It's nothing,
it's fine, it's fine.
Let's just go see Jefferson.
[slow orchestral music]
- I'm worried he didn't
see where he's going.
- No he's fine, trust me.
I've known him a
lot longer than you.
He'll never leave us.
I just think if you wanna
try something, you should.
I mean, you agree with that,
right?
- Right, yeah.
- I mean I know that I like it
maybe a little bit too much,
and there are bad
things about it,
but it's still my
right to do it.
I mean I've always
been this way,
I'm not gonna change for him.
- No, yeah.
- So, do you think maybe
you'd want to try some?
- Uh, I don't know.
- Because the more
I think about it,
the more I think
that you should.
I mean how else are you
gonna know if it's for you
unless you try it? [laughs]
- Uh, right, I guess.
- So I think you should try it.
Look, I have some
back at the motel.
A shotgun, just to see.
[coughs]
- It kinda hurt. [laughs]
- I'm sorry. [laughs]
- I don't think I got any.
- Well, you got a little.
You can try it again.
- Sorry.
[laughs]
That was a good one.
- Yeah, you got it.
That time you got it.
- Oh, no.
Jesus.
[both laugh]
Jesus, that's--
- Yeah, it's pretty good.
- [Frankie] That's good, yeah.
- And it's not bad for you,
really, so.
- [Frankie] Well that's good.
- You'll see.
[indistinct talking and
laughing]
Look, he promises that he'll
only smoke pot on the weekends.
That's good, right?
Compromise, it'll be fine.
[passionate moans and kissing]
[dramatic orchestral music]
[dramatic orchestral music]
[dramatic orchestral music]
- [Patrick] Christ.
Frankie.
Frankie?
[sobbing]
What I have to hold onto
isn't a very ordinary dream.
I was always knew
complications were inevitable.
You wouldn't know,
wrapped up in your haze,
but the past few days
afforded me the time to think,
you know?
I'm sittin' there in the
ER with Frankie,
and the doctor's looking
at me like I'm an idiot
for letting my boyfriend
carry on like this.
And the whole time,
instead of thinkin' about him,
I'm thinkin' about us.
So what's the answer?
Is it that I sacrifice
what I know to be right
in order to maintain what
worked well enough for so long?
Not good for us,
not good for Frankie.
And, maybe,
over time, if I'm lucky,
you'll see the error.
That, I'm ashamed to
admit, I can live with.
For now.
For what I still believe
is the greater good.
You see what I'm saying?
- I can't.
- What do you want to do?
- I'm gonna stay with you.
- You can't have equal say only
when it favors
what you want, Sutton,
the world doesn't
work like that.
[dramatic orchestral music]
[passionate groans]
- What's the matter?
- What are we gonna do?
The apartment in California
is in Sutton's name.
- I don't know yet, I
haven't thought it through.
You know I was thinking
maybe when get to California,
you should think about going to
college.
They got great schools out
there.
- Right.
- Have you thought about that?
Would you think about that?
- Yeah.
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
- You know you'll make
better decisions if
you think about things.
- I think about things.
- Maybe we'll agree more.
Anyway I want
you to get smarter.
I'll pay for you to get smarter.
Everyone should want to
improve, think new things.
- I was actually thinking about
getting my real estate license.
- Don't think that,
what the hell for?
- I can make a ton of
money in real estate.
- Well yeah, but...
- I know college sounds
good right now,
but I'm not gettin' younger,
and Sutton says I should
focus on making money,
making something of myself,
and then I can go back to
school if I want to later.
- Right.
- So.
- Here, eat mine.
- Are you sure?
Hey.
Hey, want more?
There you go.
There you go.
Oh, get it!
- [Patrick] Have you
heard from Sutton?
- [Frankie] No, why, what
happened?
Did you hear from him?
- [Patrick] No.
I called his mother.
- [Frankie] Why?
- [Patrick] I had
his money frozen.
- [Frankie] Jesus, what?
- [Patrick] I mean
I convinced her.
I told her what was happening
and she froze his trust
so he wouldn't
buy any more drugs.
She hates me, the mother.
She wouldn't take
my call at first.
- [Frankie] Why does
she hate you?
- [Patrick] We have different
values, let's just say.
But I thought if I explained
what was happening--
- [Frankie] Do you think that's
actually a good idea though?
Because like what happens if
he's gotta buy anything.
- I had to do something.
- [Frankie] He's got
to go anywhere,
what happens to the property?
- [Patrick] Look, if he
quits it with the drugs,
she'll unfreeze the money.
- [Frankie] Yeah, but--
- [Patrick] It's gotta work.
I can't let him prove what we
were doing is some
absurd failed thing,
but he's gotta hit rock
bottom, he's sick right now.
- [Frankie] You're right.
- [Patrick] Look,
I sent him a text,
we'll wait for him at the motel.
- Okay.
He wants to talk to you.
[moody orchestral music]
- [Frankie] No, not again,
seriously.
♪ When Sutton comes
marching home again ♪
♪ Hurrah, hurrah
♪ We'll give him a hearty
welcome then ♪
♪ Hurrah, hurrah
♪ The men will cheer and
the boys will shout ♪
♪ The ladies they
will all jump out ♪
♪ And we'll all feel gay
♪ When Sutton comes
marching home ♪
Right, Sutton?
- You're such a bad singer.
- I know.
- Like, really, it's really bad.
- Well I got the words right.
- I don't care about that.
[dramatic orchestral music]
- Jesus.
Yeah?
Sutton, open the goddamn door.
- What?
- Give it to me.
Wanna move on,
are we gonna move on?
Or are you gonna
be stuck in time?
Edith called.
- Did she make an offer?
- No.
- Well what's the offer?
- [Patrick] I don't know.
- You've already made up
your mind, haven't you?
- [Patrick] Haven't you?
Look, she wants
to see both of us.
What do I have to do to
get you to compromise?
Don't push too far, it's not
open season.
- I want you to
stop policing me.
- No hardcore drugs.
- Fine.
- Fine.
I'm sick of policing you anyway.
- [Frankie] I don't understand
why we're going back.
- [Sutton] We need
to go see Edith.
- Who's Edith?
- [Sutton] She's our cousin.
- [Frankie] Wait,
who's cousin, yours?
- No no no, she's both of
ours, Patrick and mine.
Don't worry, we're not related.
She's related to both of
us though on either side.
- [Frankie] Jesus.
- [Sutton] We found
out after we met.
- Wait so why are
we seeing Edith?
- [Sutton] Business.
[dramatic orchestral music]
- Here kid, new iPhone,
welcome present.
- [Frankie] Thanks!
- I finally get a chance to meet
the cocksucker everybody
been tellin' me about.
Isn't he cute?
Can he do anything for me?
- Not really.
- What about day labor?
- She's kidding.
- What?
How you know he doesn't
want to slaughter cattle?
Did you ask him?
Don't worry kid, I'm just
fuckin' wit you.
Have another drink,
Sutton's paying.
- Great.
- Can you believe I'm
related to these bottoms?
- We're not bottoms.
- Neither one of us
is a bottom.
- Like incest almost.
- No nothing like that actually.
- Frankie wanna take
the key and go lie down?
You look like shit.
- What's the matter with him?
- He's not well.
- He's sick.
- Like cancer or somethin'?
- No, nothing like that.
- Then what?
- Like an ailment.
- A general feel of malaise.
- The fuck's that?
Business is booming,
but I got bastards back
east bringing me down.
Accusations about
health code violations,
contaminated beef.
Undocumented workers.
Tax code, labor law.
- You're gonna look
us in the eye
and say that it's not true?
- We're making money,
baby, so much money.
That's why I need a good PR,
and you get your liberal
lips to pipe people down,
and you talk to your relatives.
I don't want none of that
anti-trust horseshit from the
government.
- What do we get?
- Money.
So what do you say?
- How long do we
have to stay here?
- We have to get Frankie to
a doctor's in California.
- Well get him on a plane.
- We can't.
- Why the hell not?
- He won't go without us.
- [scoffs] Are you fucking
kidding me?
Then you take him, huh?
What the hell is wrong
with the two of you?
This is business.
- Look Edith--
- Improve your own
goddamn lives,
else you won't be
good to anybody.
Oh, I'm sorry,
am I gonna have to fist you
in your fuckin' vaginas?
Take the goddamn money.
- We're gonna stay
here a few weeks.
- Wait, what for?
- Just a few weeks,
it'll be fine.
Need the money.
- I didn't know.
[dramatic orchestral music]
[vomits]
[coughing]
- What's another word
for restitution?
I don't want to use surrender.
Sutton?
- What's that?
- [Frankie] Edith says
stocks will
be up by the end of the quarter.
Do you think we
should diversify more?
- [Sutton] I mean it's
been a while
and we are doing really well.
I just don't think that we
should mess with things.
- [Patrick] Right.
When do we close on the
ridiculous house
in Santa Barbara that you
wanted?
- [Sutton] Wednesday.
I think that it's not
ridiculous.
- [Patrick] It's a goddamn
vogue castle,
not at all classy like
the ranch in Palm Springs.
- Oh we will be exhausted just
traveling between the two.
- [Patrick] I know.
- By the way those new credit
cards came in the other day.
- [Patrick] Oh great,
where did you leave them?
I wanna buy some things.
- Where's Frankie?
Edith was indicted.
- [Patrick] What for?
- Insider trading.
Securities and wire fraud.
Making false statements to a
grand jury.
- [Patrick] Are we
gonna lose a lot?
- I need to get out of
here for a little bit.
- What are you talking about?
You can't leave now.
- Things will get better for
us if we take some time apart,
I think.
- I'm not doing that, leaving
him!
Look.
We lost most of our money, and
property,
except for the apartment in
Santa Monica.
- You promised we'd be
in California by now.
We're still in this
fucking shit hole.
I don't understand
what you're doing.
I don't think it's good money,
I don't think you're
helping anybody.
You're not mopping
floors or faxing shit,
it's fucking reckless.
You fucked up,
and as soon as the doctors
give me the go ahead,
I'm going straight to
California,
and I'm never setting foot
in another fucking hospital.
Why are we spending
all this money on shit,
just because we can?
[dramatic orchestral music]
[door opens]
[door closes]
- Oh we have the three bottles
of pino from the wine casing.
- No, I have applications.
- He has applications,
he can't drink.
- [Sutton] Well we can
have a glass of something.
- Hello.
- [Sutton] Oh hi!
- You live...
- Oh yeah, just down there.
And you're...
- Right down the hall.
- No way.
- Oh wow.
I'm Sutton.
- Leni, this is my wife Gutrune.
- Hi Gutrune, this is my
partner Patrick,
and my other partner Frankie.
- Hi, hi.
- Nice to meet you.
- [Sutton] So you
guys headed out?
- We're headed out,
ya, we have work.
- Oh no.
- Work, on a Friday night.
- Well, party, work.
- Sure.
- Oh.
What do you guys do, are you
involved in the nightlife?
- We are in real estate
lately, I guess you would say.
Und then after we are
going for dinner somewhere,
I'm sure.
- Well would you
like to just join us?
- Yeah no, we've got
tons of food.
- Oh no, no, not tonight.
But perhaps you would like to
join us sometime in our place?
Maybe Sunday, perhaps?
- Do we have--
- No no no, that would be great.
- For food und poker!
- Poker?
- Ya.
- German poker.
- Ya, it's the best kind!
Und there's a Russian
couple living upstairs,
Nadja and Olga,
und they might join.
- Yeah, sure, well why not?
- I don't know.
- I kind of like them.
- Yeah, right.
- Frankie?
- No, I thought they
were really cool.
- A little much.
- No, they're just lesbians.
I mean, German, it'd be nice.
- Well I don't think
we should be
socializing with the neighbors.
- Why not?
- I don't know, it never ends
well.
We've got a lot going on here.
Frankie has his college
applications.
- They are killing me.
- They're killing him.
- Oh, right, right right right.
- The one, the more
assertive one,
she looks like she shoves
the other one around.
You noticed how she
never says anything?
- Well sometimes a
relationship can be like that.
- Domestic violence or
something.
- Oh, please!
- I don't know.
- You know, maybe we could
be a good influence here.
You know, show them how
good a threesome can be.
- Hey, yeah.
- Do we know any
single lesbians?
- Just because a
threesome works for us
doesn't mean it works so well
for some nutso German ladies.
And the Russians down
the hall are coming?
What is this, the UN.
- [laughs] No I think
Sutton actually has a point.
I mean, we always said
we're trying new stuff,
and it's really working now,
so I think we could you know
encourage other people to do the
same.
'Cause it's working and we
can tell them about the perks.
- Why?
- Because what we're
doing is the right idea.
- [Frankie] What?
- I don't know, it's a little
arrogant.
- What do you mean?
- It's working.
- You know there's a difference
between a well-wisher,
being a well-wisher of the
threesome idea,
if you know somebody asks,
and going around looking
for couples to fuck with,
trying to tell other people
their business.
- That's not what he means.
[dramatic orchestral music]
- You have a really big grill.
- In Germany, everything is big.
- In Russia too.
- Well then we're gonna
have to go to Germany.
- Ya, you should.
- Patrick is very
fond of big things.
- He's kidding, he's kidding.
- No, yeah, I'm kidding.
They know I'm kidding.
- So you're in, what is
it, open relationship?
- Oh no, we don't.
No, we're actually very happy.
When it was just Patrick
and me we weren't, really.
And then, you know, since
then, it's been really great.
I mean it's the first time for
any of us
that a long term relationship
has worked, really.
And I think it's more of a,
you know,
higher state of being, you know?
A more elevated state,
or at least,
something that we should
all be striving for.
You know?
And we make all of
our decisions equally.
- I see.
- And that--
- Frankie.
You want to help
Gutrune set the table?
- Do you want to come help too?
- I mean in a relationship,
it's usually just one
person calling the shots,
or you know, wearing the pants,
or whatever you want to
call it in your case.
But in our case,
we really make all of
the decisions together.
- Gutrune prefers I
call the shots.
- Oh, well.
At least you know that.
- Ya.
- You have it established.
- I call the shots,
but Olga and I like to
share everything equally.
- Oh, wow.
These are done, I mean,
you have never had a
hamburger recipe like this.
I am telling you, it's a secret
American recipe. [chuckles]
No sauerkraut though, or
borscht. [laughs]
Borsh, ke-bor,
how do you say it?
- Borscht.
- Borscht.
- Borscht.
- Borscht.
- Borscht, okay. [laughs]
Great, well, thank you.
Thank you for letting us come
into your kitchen
and take it over.
I just really wanted to show
you what a dinner could--
- Ya, Americans like to show.
- Watch out boys,
Nadja's gonna blow.
- Eights.
- Eights, Nadja! [laughs]
Gutrune, pull the money from
over there, I can't reach.
- I need coffee.
- Nadja, please, bitte!
We only have wine
here at this hour.
Wine.
Gutrune, get Nadja
some more wine.
Ya, a little more for
the whole table.
We need to loosen
our American friends,
they're playing so careful.
- We're losing.
- But really, a few
pennies here und there.
As you say, here und there.
Not that wine, Gutrune.
Not that one,
Gutrune, the other one!
The one that's...
[speaks angrily in German]
Well, we are doing quite
well, exceeding expectations.
- What do you mean,
expectations?
- Leni has dragged most pots.
- Und yet you keep playing.
- We are the only ones left.
- Almost.
There's still a few
units here und there.
The boys for example.
- Sorry, I'm just a little
bit, I don't understand.
- They have played most of
the owners in the
building and won.
- Won what?
- The units!
- Wait, did, for the, really?
- Yeah of course, why not?
- Are you kicking them out?
- No.
Well, some.
Most pay rent,
the ones we don't evict.
- Extreme rent increases.
- Get your elbows off the
table Gutrune, please!
So rude.
- We used to join with
them to beat the others,
but not anymore.
- Not anymore!
- So you lose a lot.
Why do you keep playing?
- Pride.
- I see you.
Und raise you.
2,000.
Are you unveiling?
Are you able?
I will of course understand
if you are unable.
- I am able.
- Then what's the problem, hm?
We are waiting,
the boys are bored.
They are shpectators.
They want to go home
and watch YouTube,
if you don't make your move.
- I will move.
- Soon?
[speaks in Russian]
- Okay, we are ready, ya?
- I would say.
- I would say here we go.
Three aces, und you?
Two twos?
Nadja, so crazy, can you
believe!
Okay, so that makes 2,000
from Nadja tonight so far,
and 200 from hamburger
und his helpers.
A little wound,
but not too sharp.
Gutrune, you know what I think?
I am beginning to think
that the boys are just that.
Boys.
Not men. [laughs]
Oh well.
- Let's go again.
- I'll see your 100,
Patrick meine friend,
und raise you 2,000.
- We don't have
cash like that on hand.
- I see.
Well what about
your parking spot?
You have one, right?
In the building, spot 22?
What do you say?
Where's the harm,
it's not your home!
You can park on
the street if you lose.
Get a permit, no big deal,
as they say.
- All right.
- All right!
Nadja?
- Fold.
- Really?
Nadja fold, so crazy.
- We fold.
- Is that true?
- Yeah, we fold.
- You take stock?
- Why not, we take
everything else.
- Hold these.
- Let him do it.
- 5,000.
- You are bluffing.
Well?
Well, three queens! [laughs]
So appropriate, so true!
Ya, how terrible for you.
Gutrune, make sure you
get a note for the stock.
Don't lose it, Gutrune.
If you do I will be in
a very bad mood.
You see I find it so amusing
that you boys arrive,
relatively new to the scene,
und you tell Gutrune and myself
and even Nadja und Olga und
who knows who else you spoke to
that your polygamous way
is not only the best way,
but the one and only way,
und at the root of this way,
is some notion of
what is fair to do.
Yet from the moment you
have walked in here,
you have done nothing but push
poor little Frankie around
like the garden maid.
It's very confusing.
Had you listened to him you
might still have a parking spot.
[chuckles]
But, what is true
is that you are
no more equal to each other
than Olga and Gutrune
are to Nadja and myself.
The only difference is we are
just a little more
obvious about it.
I call the shots, remember?
So?
Want to go again?
What about your apartment?
I'm afraid you're
still a little short.
How about ownership of your
blog, hm?
Gutrune, can you believe?
We are willing to put all
the units on the line,
but they would rather lose
most than gain everything.
- If we throw our unit in,
will you split the
earnings with us?
- Yes.
- I don't want to live here
if this bitch runs the joint.
- So, here we go.
Flush!
You see, I win again!
- Yes!
Yes!
- What are you doing,
what are you doing?
What is he doing?
You can't give apartment
back, she doesn't deserve it!
- We'll handle giving
back the units
on the first five floors.
You handle giving back the rest.
- We're not giving back.
- What do you mean?
- We're taking over as landlord.
- Wait, you're kicking them out?
- Not kicking out, but we won.
- Wait a minute, how is this
any better than the Germans?
- I'd worry about your half.
There are lots of thing.
- I should've kept the
Russians out of it.
- Well, we needed them.
- We at least made
a ton of money.
- Mm, yeah.
[dramatic orchestral music]
- [Doctor] It's looking good,
kid.
- Oh, fuck.
[light guitar music]
- Katrina wants to have
us over on the 15th
to meet her new girl friends.
- I'll make sure I put
that in my calendar.
- I had a shit day, you know.
Just dreadful, with the blog.
But thank God I have it.
It keeps me mentally active.
Critical thinking, you know.
It's important to stay critical.
Is the 15th good for you,
Frankie?
You gonna be able to fit it in,
what with your busy schedule?
- Mm-hm.
- [Patrick] You know
you've been spending
a lot of time in front
of the TV lately.
You think that's a good idea?
- Leave him alone.
- Indolence is never
an attractive quality.
- It isn't indolence.
- I've spent the last
six months gardening and
building furniture like the
desk you like so much, so.
- Yeah, let him have a
break if he wants it.
- You want to watch this shit?
- Yeah, sometimes.
- Sutton stop it, don't pretend.
- What difference does it make?
He's going to school,
he's active.
- He's wasting time wasting
his life on nothing,
this is nothing.
- What do you want from him?
- More than nothing.
- You live upstairs?
- Yes, I live upstairs.
- Right, I'm Sutton, and
this is my partner Patrick.
- Hey.
- Hello, I'm Sajida.
- Our other partner is
on the sofa being a lug,
he's a bit lazy.
- Would you like some coffee?
- Yes.
- Or some jello mold?
We have leftovers.
- Not really.
We need your help.
- How?
- I'm sure you're
aware of the battle
we're having with
the neighbors next door.
- The Iranians?
- They play loud music
to all ends of the night.
It's very difficult for my wife
to sleep.
- You have a wife,
who is your wife?
- Raja.
- I didn't even know
that you had a wife.
- Well, okay--
- I mean I've never
seen her before.
- Okay, well yes--
- Isn't she a doctor or
something?
- No.
Anyway, that is not the point.
The point is that I think that
they're trying to drive
us from the apartment.
- Oh?
- So they can knock down the
walls and make it one unit.
- That's awful.
- Tell me about it.
- I can't believe that.
- And well everyone knows
that you're doing quite well,
so I was wondering if you
could consider loaning us
some money to soundproof
the apartment.
- Can you really soundproof
an apartment entirely?
- Well additional installation.
We'd pay you back, of course.
- Right, well, um--
- I'm sure you're
aware of how much
instability there is in the
building,
and well, I don't know
if you're heard,
but Nadja is finding it hard
to manage the
units they took over.
- Oh.
- She might lose them.
Even still, she offered
to loan us the money,
but well, I wanted
to approach you first.
- Uh-huh.
- I don't think it's
a good idea that
Nadja has so much control
over the building, you know?
- No, of course not,
we don't either.
- And we need this.
We need your help.
We also have fresh vegetables
growing on our balcony.
Kale and whatnot.
My wife says they're better
than the farmer's market.
Take as much as you want.
- You know.
- I know.
- Frankie's doctor said...
- Frankie's doctor
said that his health is
dependent on him eating
organic vegetables.
- What is the matter with him?
- He's sick.
- He's not well.
- Is it cancer?
- No.
- Well than what,
I don't understand.
- It's more of a feeling,
a malaise.
- The fuck is that?
- It just means that he
needs to eat healthy food.
- Well there you go!
We have more than enough.
What a trade.
So?
- You know, Sajida,
I just want to say,
I really want to emphasize
that the best thing
that happened to Patrick
and me is Frankie.
And the best advice
that I can give to you
is to get a second wife.
Now I know it's not
what you're used to
or what you came here wanting,
but a polyamorous relationship
like ours has it's benefits.
You make a lot more money.
It's better to make decisions
that way.
Now, I will talk this over with
Patrick,
and we'll mention it to Frankie,
but I really hate what
your neighbors are doing
just like we hate
knowing that Nadja
is in control of so
much of the building.
But this idea of a
three way relationship,
I really think that you
should think about it.
Would you be willing
to think about that?
- [Patrick] What the
hell was that?
- [Sutton] I've been thinking
about it,
I've been thinking that we
never see anyone
from the top floors.
They never come to
any of the parties.
- [Patrick] That doesn't mean--
- [Sutton] We need
to be a little bit
more realistic
about our situation.
We live in a crowded
building where
half of the apartments
are hostile towards us.
I think it's a good idea
to send a message
of generosity and then we have
one more neighbor who likes us.
And I think that she
really took to my idea
of getting a third person
in her relationship.
I mean I think it would solve
a lot of their problems.
- [Patrick] Yeah, I don't
think she took to it.
- [Sutton] Well why
wouldn't she take to it?
- Well I said not everyone
thinks it's such a good idea.
- [Sutton] Well you
think it's a good idea.
- Well yeah I know, but for
us, not everyone's like us.
I don't know why it's so
important
for you to do what we do.
We've had this
conversation before.
- [Sutton] Can we just
give them the money?
Let's just give them the money.
I mean if we don't,
then things are just gonna get
worse between
Sajida and the Iranians,
and we're gonna have more of
Nadja's shit to deal with.
If we say no and Nadja
gives them the money,
then they'll resent us for it.
I mean Frankie wants to do this.
- [Patrick] Frankie's
watching reruns,
he doesn't give a
shit about this.
- [Sutton] Frankie!
- [Frankie] Yeah?
- [Sutton] Should we
give the Iraqis
some money to
soundproof their apartment?
Frankie?
- What?
- [Sutton] Should we give
the Iraqis some money?
- 'Kay.
- See?
- Fine.
[dramatic orchestral music]
[water trickling]
[cartoon music]
[dramatic orchestral music]
- I saw this one pasty girl
with like stringy red hair.
And the guy is like,
"Can we shave your head?"
And then they take
her hair and this like
big ball of butter you know and
they mash the butter
and her hair together.
And she's gotta eat it.
And so she eats it,
she gets like a certain
amount of money or something.
The whole time she's
eating it, she's like,
she's like gagging and
struggling and like
puking it right back up.
But guess how
much she did it for?
- [Sutton] How much?
- 20 bucks!
- That's it?
- I know, people are
so fuckin' stupid.
They'd had to
give me like 20,000
at least to do
something like that.
- [Sutton] Well maybe she
just wanted to be on TV.
- God, that show is so good.
That channel has
the fuckin' best shows.
- How's school?
- I don't know.
- Have you thought
about dropping out maybe
and getting your
real estate license,
or getting a job now so that
you can make some money?
Don't you think
that'd be a good idea?
- [Frankie] Actually maybe.
- I mean you gotta do
what you want to do
so that you can be happy.
- [Frankie] Right.
- If we've learned
anything from this,
it's to listen to what
you want more,
and I think the universe is
trying to tell us something
by giving you the
idea to come out here.
- [Frankie] Yeah,
I think so too.
Oh the bathroom ceiling
is actually leaking.
Tried to brush my
teeth this morning,
water kept dripping on my head.
- You think she's flooding the
bathroom?
- [Frankie] Who?
- Sajida.
- [Frankie] The Iraqis, really?
- Well, they live
right above us.
- [Frankie] Yeah, but why
would they want to do that?
We do a lot for them.
- You wanna do
something about it?
- [Frankie] Well, can we
do something about it?
- We could sue.
And then if we won damages
and they didn't pay us,
we could get the condo
repossessed.
- [Frankie] Well, will
they even pay us, anyway?
- I know, they probably
wouldn't.
So then the condo board would
own it and then rent it out.
- [Frankie] That would
take forever, right?
- To be honest,
I met a few other
Iraqi women that
are in a three way
relationship like us,
and I think they'd do
something nice with the place.
- [Frankie] No, I don't
want to buy a condo
or something stupid.
- No, no no no no.
- [Frankie] And I
don't like that we even
own these units
in the first place.
- No, I'd be fine with
them owning it eventually,
and they seem like nicer women.
- [Frankie] Okay, yeah.
- Great, I'll get the
process started.
Oh and I've been thinking
that it might not be
such a bad idea if stop putting
as much money into
our joint bank accounts
and then more into our
individual ones.
That way we can get
our own groceries too.
I mean we could go
shop at Smart Mart
instead of Fresh Foods
all the time.
♪ You can buy Twinkertots
at Smart Mart ♪
[laughs]
- [Patrick] I'm on a deadline,
but I know we need to
talk about the bathroom.
Let me just finish this first.
- Hey, I'm gonna head
to Smart Mart in a sec.
Do you want anything?
- What are you talking about?
- [Frankie] I'm gonna
buy me some Twinkertots.
- Twinkertots?
- [Frankie] Yeah, I love 'em.
- Those are nothing but sugar.
Are you out of your mind?
- [Frankie] Well Sutton
says he thinks
we should all buy our own
groceries,
we don't have to agree.
And I can eat whatever
the hell I want.
- You're not gonna
eat that shit.
- [Frankie] I think
it's a great idea.
- Well, then you're ridiculous.
You're siding with Sutton on
something that's
going to make you sick.
What the fuck did
you say to him?
- We're evicting the Iraqis
for flooding the bathroom.
- [Cathy] People are begging me.
Cathy, please, please, Cathy.
You have the most successful
reality TV show
of all time, okay?
- What is this?
- [Sutton] Preliminary letter
we need to legally
deliver to the Iraqis.
Just stick it under the door
when you have the chance.
- Fuck.
- [Woman] What the [talking
in foreign language]
think they can get
away with anything
just because they have more
money than the rest of us?
[yelling in foreign language]
I never flooded anything!
They're the ones flooding
people's heads with lies.
Fear.
They cooked this up and the
craven bastards on
the board sold the lie.
They think we need a threesome?
Try to tell me how
to run my home?
I'm coming down there.
- This is...
[doorbell ringing]
- You had me out
there for 10 minutes.
- I'm sorry, I didn't hear you.
Here, just let me
help you with that.
- Be careful with my wrap.
My son made my wrap for me.
- All right.
- Here kid.
- What is that?
- Coupons for your junk food
and sodas that you like.
- Oh sweet!
- Also that store where
you get your clothes from
is having a final sale on those
little workout shorts that
you wear all the time.
- Hey, thank you.
How did you know I
like all this stuff?
- Well, I also made
a list of TV shows
and some porn sites that
you might want to check out.
Based on your interests.
- Okay!
Hey um, I'm almost
out of snacks,
got these coupons from her.
Can I please have some money?
- You need to learn how to
budget better.
I heard they're hiring
down at Smart Mart.
- Yeah I already have
three part time jobs.
- Well, maybe you can ask
your parents for some money.
- Right, yeah.
Like they have money.
It's not like we can all
ask our parents for anyway,
we don't all have a trust fund.
- You know Sister Wives is
starting,
maybe you want to
go live tweet about it?
- [Frankie] I'm going.
- Nadja's broke.
She can't cover all
of her mortgages.
Barely holding her own.
I think her and Olga
are taking another wife,
if you can believe that.
- Jeez.
- You need to nab
these when they go.
Beyond that,
I have a list of a
bunch of buildings
that I think you
boys ought to buy.
We'll make a bundle
when the bottle blows.
- You want to buy distressed
properties?
- Buy the buildings dirt cheap.
You do some cosmetic
improvements
that hide the underlying rot,
and you trick suckers into
snatching them
in a final sales contract.
- You want to commit fraud?
- What the fuck is
wrong with you?
What the fuck is wrong with him?
I got to talk innocent to him,
is that it?
Oh, so you want me to lie to you
so you can say
you weren't there.
We gonna do this or not?
- [Sutton] We'll do it.
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
- [Edith] He gonna go
along with it?
- He won't stop it.
- I mean look, I just got
acquitted.
I need this.
- I know.
- What about Frankie?
- Frankie's watching Frasier.
- Fine.
I'll fill it with some figures
and finalize the
fine print by Friday.
[men laughing]
[video game sounds]
- Die, fucker.
Yes!
[burp]
Fuck, my tooth.
[groaning]
I feel like shit.
- [Woman] Telephone please,
Dr. Davis, Telephone please.
- Look first of all,
I want to thank Frankie
for allowing me
to take the lead on
making him well.
I think we all got sidetracked
from what's really important,
it'll be nice to implement
some changes
I believe will make a big
difference.
At the same time Sutton
I want to be real clear,
it's important for
us all to agree.
I'm willing to make some
compromises,
because frankly otherwise
the fighting will never end.
So the first thing I think we
should do
is start buying our groceries
again on the joint account.
- No.
- Okay, do you
have another idea?
- Yeah 'cause now that I'm
on my own for expenses,
I'm kind of having a hard
time paying for food.
I had to pick up another
job at Smart Mart,
and I don't even have time
to watch Dance Palms anymore.
- I mean it's not a good idea.
We need to be able to
choose where we shop.
I mean don't you want
to pick what you eat,
or do you want Patrick in charge
of what you stick in your mouth?
- No, I'd like to choose, but--
- And another thing is Patrick,
the Iraqis are leaving this
weekend,
I don't want to
discuss letting them stay
if that's what you're thinking.
Bitch slapped Frankie.
- She slapped me
across the face.
- Across the face,
I want her out.
- Which makes sense.
- You aren't gonna fuck with
the plan to buy
the building are you?
'Cause if you are,
I'm calling Edith.
We'll make more money this way,
and that's good for Frankie,
and we need to
keep making money.
And since Edith is the only one
with ideas on how to do that,
I think that she should have an
equal say in the
decisions that we make.
- Well, sorry I just don't
really get that part,
because she's not in the
relationship with us, so--
- No no, more like a councilor.
You don't need
to worry, it'll be fine.
Oh, by the way, we need the
password to your iCloud account.
- What for?
- So that we can look at your
photos and track your phone.
- Uh, why do you
want to track my phone?
- So that we know where you are.
- But--
- [Sutton] You want
to be safe, right?
- Uh, yeah.
- [Sutton] Well right now,
Edith is the only
one with access.
- Edith's been looking at my
dick picks?
- She has access, I don't
know if she's been looking.
- What does a lesbian want
to look at my dick for
and like track me and shit?
- You wanted the phone, right?
- Yeah.
Well what about the drain clog?
- [Sutton] What about it?
- Last time Edith was here,
she showered and
clogged the drain,
and it still hasn't been fixed.
- I agree, that's terrible.
- I'll call a plumber.
- No, that's not a good idea.
- Then what?
- That's another thing, Patrick.
You've been in charge
of household repairs.
And whenever you're in
charge you say you're
going to fix things and
then they never get fixed.
- It's true, they're not fixed.
- Because you won't
call the plumber!
- Frankie doesn't want us
wasting money on a plumber,
and I don't even use that
bathroom.
What else you got?
- You've got other ideas, right?
- You all right?
- No!
I'm not, actually,
I'm fuckin' pissed.
You know what,
now that I think about it,
you need to stay out of my
business.
And give me some more
independence for Christ sake.
I can make my own choices,
and you need to
buy me more shit!
I can't afford to deal
with this on my own.
I need medicine and doctors
visits
and my goddamn Twintertots.
I mean is that so hard?
I want you two to be positive,
and all you are is negative!
You never agree on anything,
and Sutton you never want
to do anything differently,
and you always make
some promise about
some new fucking ideas
about how to change things,
but I don't know,
to me it sounds a lot like
things are gonna stay the same.
And don't think I don't
know that you're suing
the Yemanese and her
biker bitch girlfriend,
and threatening the Sudanese on
the third floor with
the same fate,
even though I specifically
said I don't want us
getting involved in other
people's unit!
And why, because you're Suda
will fucking call you out?
If they flood the
bathroom again?
I mean Jesus, let them,
they're three floors below us!
It's none of our goddamn
business!
And you know
what's next I suppose is
kicking out the Iranians, yeah?
Who by the way are storing
up all kinds of shit,
jamming the fucking garbage
shoot and other hazards,
causing a fuck ton of dangers
that neither of you two
are doing anything about
because you're too busy
trying to get the same
access to my phone
that Edith apparently does
instead of fucking trusting me.
That's the fucking
point of this!
I mean, I don't know, I don't
feel well, I want to lie down.
[pots clanging]
- Don't start.
- You're a liar.
[scoffs]
You want one thing and
you advocate another.
You say you want everyone
to decide for themselves
and then you make big
blundering decisions you want
everyone to go along with.
- That you go along with.
- And I hate you for it.
- You don't hate me.
- Oh no?
- You don't hate me.
- Then what is it
exactly that I hate?
Why don't you tell me, just
so I can have a general idea.
- You're weak.
- [Frankie] Oh hey, sorry,
are you that clown from TV?
- [Cathy] Yeah, hey kid.
- [Frankie] Do you live here?
- [Cathy] Oh yeah, too long.
- [Frankie] I love your show,
it's the best show ever.
- [Cathy] Yeah, that right?
Just wait, I've got
a new show coming,
it's gonna be even better.
The best.
- Cool.
- [Cathy] Yeah,
network is gonna give us
some money to fix up the
building, too.
You know, redo the
lobby and that.
- [Frankie] Sweet.
- [Cathy] We need new ways
of doing things around here,
otherwise shit never gets done.
It's a complete
fucking disaster.
- [Frankie] Yeah, you tell me.
- [Cathy] Hey, you got
time for a soda?
- [Frankie] Can I
have ice cream in it?
You know I was
thinking that we should
have somebody to like
decide things for us.
- [Sutton] You mean like an
advisor?
That's why we have Edith.
- [Frankie] No no
not like an advisor,
like somebody who
can really run stuff.
- [Sutton] Like,
what do you mean?
- [Frankie] Think like
Cathy down the hall.
- [Sutton] The clown lady
with the reality show?
- [Frankie] Yeah, she's
got a ton of money,
I think she'd be really great
at helping us manage ours.
And she said if you
wanted to keep
more funds in your
account you don't
have to put it in the joint
account.
That's what you've always
wanted, right?
- Did you talk with her?
- I'm gonna have way more money
than you and Patrick soon,
I don't want to be spreading it
around.
- She said that?
- I just think it's lucky.
I think it's lucky that we found
someone
from one of my favorite TV shows
who wants to call
the shots and wants to
help us solve everything that
we can't seem to right now.
- You know I don't think that
she'll--
- I'm tired of trusting Patrick.
You know sometimes he
can be a real drag.
- Right.
- I have some other ideas too.
- Like what?
- I think we need to get
back to watching TV together
instead of you guys
reading books all the time
and eat food like
cookies and french fries.
These neighbors don't need to
come over for visits anymore.
You know, like you said,
they're gonna want to
spend the night I bet,
and eat all my Twinkertots and
make a mess and
not do any house work.
- Did I say that?
- You know, we're better off
without them.
Oh, by the way, I decided
to drop out of school.
You know like you said,
who needs it.
- You really want to
take the risk
of letting this crazy lady
control things?
- Whatever, I'm just
sick of this.
If it's not Cathy now,
it's gonna be someone else
eventually,
because you guys
can't figure it out.
- Right.
- [Frankie] So, you cool?
- Well.
- Those three Iraqi
women moved in yesterday,
they're already threatening
to flood the entire floor,
and what did I say?
Did I not say?
Very unstable.
I won't consent to your scheme
unless we implement
some changes for safety
or else this is
getting out of control.
- Fine.
- I want to make sure I do
what's best for Frankie.
- [laughs] Right.
- The hell is that
supposed to mean?
- Chumps and salesmen,
that's what it is.
Nice try sweet pea, but
you do what's best for you.
- You know what Edith--
- You ever look at that kid
and think maybe this is it?
Not that the opportunity
isn't there,
opportunity is irrelevant.
He might want to, but
he will never be you.
You wouldn't want that anyway.
No more good can be attempted
than the kid can bear,
and the kid can't
bear any more good.
Sutton accepts who he is.
Who's he gonna go along with?
- Look, I believe in
what we're doing.
- Or is it just that you've
been doing it for so long,
your beef ain't with them?
[dramatic orchestral music]
- Look, I already got
Edith to consent to changes
if we're gonna go along
with buying those buildings.
[toilet flushes]
So see, we're making
some real progress here.
- Okay, this one's for you.
So this one's jump,
square and circle.
- Jump is X.
- And then punch, kick,
and that's throw stuff.
- Punch, kick, throw stuff.
- And you hold these down
for special moves, there's
like fire and stuff too.
Now you just get to pick
whoever you want to be.
- I want to be the red one.
- I will be the lady one.
- Oh, right. [laughs]
This one is throw, right?
- Yeah.
- Okay, all right.
- Prepare to die!
- [Sutton] Okay, ready?
[video game beeps]
- Yes!
Boom!
- [Sutton] Oh oh oh oh oh!
Boom.
- [Frankie] Eat that, yep, yep!
- [Sutton] Oh! [laughs]
- [Frankie] There it is!