Just the Ticket (1998) - full transcript

Okay, here we go.

Stay loose.

Hello?

Anybody in there? Hello.

Hi.

Right.

- My turn? Do I go?
- Please.

- The "bless me, Father" thing?
- Yes, my son.

Right.

Bless me, Father, for I have sinned.
It's been...

20, 25 years
since my last confession.



I've used the Lord's name in vain
20, 30 times today.

Okay. Where do I start?

I've got a problem
that's causing me pain and heartache.

Her name is Linda Paliski.

She is everything.

You know what I'm saying, Doc?

Well, you wouldn't know
what I'm saying.

But she's like...
How can I say it in your terms?

She's my light, my beacon.

My amazing grace.

Look, changed man.
When can I move in?

Do you have any dog food?

Come on. How long
are those things good for?

- I'll get you what I have.
- I'll come up and get it.



No, you won't.

Is this going to be a permanent thing,
because I gave Blinker to you.

We're sort of like apart now.

She's dumped me.

This is Rhonda.
What do you want?

How courteous. It's me, Gary.

Linda wants me to come up
and get some dog food.

Hold on.

Great, Blinkie.
Me and you, baby.

The thing that really
gets to the problem...

is that I'm in sales.

It's not sales.

It's resales. I'm a scalper.

I'm a ticket scalper.

I'm a scalper, for chrissakes.
That's why she dumped me.

It's been two months, and she hasn't
directed one word towards me.

Even a look in my direction.

I'd like to do the right thing.
I'd like to get a legit gig.

But those things are like another world.
Are you getting this?

Because it doesn't stop there.

I've got this guy that works for me.
He's my holder.

Talk about carrying the cross.

You got mustard on your chin, Benny.

Tell me something.

- You seen any oscars today?
- Nope. Haven't seen a cop all morning.

- Benny, who's that?
- What?

That guy over there.
Uniform. Hat.

Badge.

That's another navy blue.
I should've seem him.

Can we pay attention here?
I'm trying to work.

I'm on it, Chief. I'm with you.

I'm gonna do such a good job for you
'cause I love you so much.

And I'm just here,
I'm just paralyzed.

I just need...
I just want a little guidance.

Just a little something.
Gimme a sign.

A little light at the end of the tunnel.
Something to hang my hat on.

Recognizing your problem
is half the battle, my son.

Find a new path to travel.

Follow your heart.
Do God's work.

The strength is within you.
Find the courage.

What, are you in a hurry?

God will show you the way.

I'm here for the "how" part. How?

You know, the light, the vision.

As I said, God will show you the way.

Trust in Him.
You'll find strength in Him.

Go in peace, my son.

But before you do, you have any tickets
for the Knicks' game Friday night?

Sold out.
I got two tickets.

Van Gogh Ear ashtrays!
$10, two for $20. What a deal.

It's sold out.
30 bucks apiece.

Knock yourself out.

I'd like a refund.
I didn't enjoy the show.

I can't give you a refund.
I didn't produce the show.

Gary, tell the lady
we don't give refunds.

Refunds? We got refunds.
The guy in the red hat.

I'm sorry. The guy in the red hat.

You can talk to him over there.
Good luck. We'll see you next year.

Take the tickets to Mrs. Manhime.
Pick up $200.

- Manhime. M-A-N-H-l-M-E.
- I got it.

Come on. Oyster Perpetual!
El Presidente. Submariners.

They're releasing tickets for tonight
at the Meadowlands.

We're making a move to Jersey.
Pick up those tickets at will-call.

And see Mrs. Manhime
and collect $200.

Let's go.

- How you feeling?
- I'm okay. Just hate this business.

Go. You got it.

I'm gonna hang around here,
mop up the museum. I don't wanna go.

Are you crazy? The joint's
almost closed. No one can sell a ticket.

- Get on the bus.
- I'll take whatever you got, half face.

You got it. Here you go.
Come back. You're crazy.

Save me some tickets, all right?
Okay. We'll see ya.

Arigato, fellow-san!

Got tickets.

Yes, American tickets.

Big American scalper.

How many more tickets
did Gary sell than you?

And how many T-shirts and watches
did you have to pedal home?

A couple.

- Where's the food?
- It's coming.

Hey, the man!

How you doing, Professor?

You consider my proposition?

I did.

And?

Hello!

It's the thing about working alone.
That's the way I gotta do this.

I mean, it's no offense to...
It's the way I have to do this.

Why don't you relax?

I'll do that. Okay.

This is not a shakedown.
This is just a business idea.

- You make me nervous.
- We're all adults here.

Give this to Sylvia when she comes in.

- What was that about?
- Barry the Book.

Bookmaker to the degenerates.

Wants to buy a piece of me,
stake me financially for a percentage.

- You know what that means.
- Gary, you don't need anybody.

The museum today? You're a god.

- Good call, brother.
- Good call, that's it.

Anybody hear anything
about the pope today?

- What pope?
- Big guy. Tall. White hair. Long dress.

My sources tell me it's between
New York, Moscow or Russia.

Acts don't go to Siberia when they can
come to the media capital of the world.

The Big Apple.

I hear the stadium's holding open dates.
Rescheduling events.

End of the month.

You heard that?

You really think he'll come here?

I pray every night that he does.

An event like this is like...

- Comes around once in a lifetime.
- And lives get changed.

- What did you say?
- And lives get changed.

How you doing, Blink?
Move over.

We better call Lin.
Wanna call Lin?

Hi, it's Linda.
I'm not here to take your call.

Leave a message after the tone.
Bye.

Hi, Linda.
It's me, the asshole.

I know you're there.
Will you pick up, please?

Come on, baby.
I need to talk to you.

Okay, I'll just talk to you then.

How are things doin'?
Everything's well?

Come on, please.
I've gotta talk to you.

I wouldn't be calling if it
wasn't important. Please pick up.

Okay, I'm going to stop by
the store tomorrow.

All right, okay.

You know what? If you don't pick up
in five seconds...

I'll take that as a yes
and I'm coming tomorrow.

One, two, three, four, five.

This set is really great
for the kitchen.

It's small, discreet. It has a clock
on it if you want to time something.

If you're looking for a larger set,
those have built-in videos...

which are extremely convenient.

He's not gonna buy.
You're wasting your time.

Beat it. Scram. Go away and don't
come back. Don't write, don't call.

Did you get my messages?
I need to talk to you. It's important.

- Let me buy you lunch.
- No.

Dinner then, please. This is important.
I have things to talk to you about.

I had things to say to you,
but I don't anymore.

Don't say that.

Things are different now. It's nice.

No more waiting up for you, no calls
in the middle of the night, no excuses.

Linda, look at me.

That's not me anymore.

I've got a plan big enough
to change everything for us.

- Please.
- Come on, please. Let me say my piece.

What if I can sell this guy a TV?
Not that 13" job, but that 60" TV there.

- Will you have dinner with me then?
- That man's too cheap to buy a toaster.

Are you kidding me?

Deal?

A piece of cake.

Ouch.

I wouldn't get too close
to this baby, Commander.

It might suck you right in.

Beautiful.

How are you? Dave Kelly,
sales representative for Sony.

Just lookin'.

Well, aren't we all.
It's okay. I'm not working today.

It's obvious to me anyway
that you're here without your wife...

and couldn't make a decision
without her.

This is an extraordinary
piece of equipment.

This equipment was designed
for only the most deserving of men.

The working man.

The man who is the backbone
of this country.

A man who deserves not 13",
but the full 60" experience.

Full visual stimulus,
a cacophony of sound...

that stimulates the ocular nerve.

Have you ever had
your ocular nerve stimulated?

Yeah, once.

An assault on the senses. It takes you
to a place where everything is good.

Where everything's swell.

But, again,
your wife is not here.

Oh, goodness. Can l...

What?

No, you'd better leave.

- Why?
- This is a private thing.

What are you talking about?

- You never entered the "Stargate"?
- No. Have I missed something?

Take a load off.

The first time I went through
the "Stargate"...

it was an extraordinary experience
I never forgot it.

And you'll never forget me.

Here we go.

Look at that baby.
Just push "play"...

and we're off.

Here we go.

He's a good actor.

Just relax. Let yourself go.
Go with the feel.

Go with the sound, with the feeling.

You're there. You own it.

You're on. See?

What a rush.

- How much is it?
- How much is this?

Not any more than what you spend
on your wife for manicures, pedicures...

facials, hair dying...

and tennis lessons
with that 20-year-old pro.

What do you get out of that?

Zero.

For $99 a month,
in about 18 years you get that.

That TV right there.

Enjoy your TV.

Okay, you win.
Listen good and hard.

Pick me up at 8:00.
Not 8:01.

Pope John Paul will make his awaited
State of the World address...

here in New York City
at Yankee Stadium...

two weeks from this Sunday.

The pope last visited the United States
over six years ago.

The visit comes as a bit of a surprise.

- Do you hear me?
- Thank you so much.

Yes!

Lordy, Lordy! My Lord, my Savior.
Hallelujah.

It's just dinner.
It's not gonna be that exciting.

I have some things to tell you,
so if you show up one nanosecond late...

Not more "ifs," no more "buts."

No more "maybes."

Thank you.
You're so beautiful.

I'll see ya.

8:00, Linda Paliski's.

With my shiny shoes on.

Make sure you get diggers, and tell them
it's gonna be an overnighter.

After that, check all
the local churches...

Salvation Army...

the Red Cross, choirs,
anybody who's connected.

What do you think?
"He's back."

- Or "Yo, Pope, over here."
- "Yo, Pope, over here."

"He is here."

Stinko. Stick to tickets.
Zeus, what are you working on?

Popesicles.

Pontiff Purple, Roman Raspberry
and Christian Cherry.

- Tony, cut him off quick.
- No more shrimp for you.

- You're going to ruin my picture.
- He is here

The pope is here

Bong
We're in the money

Hey, Gary, what's the word?

The word is pope tickets. I'm paying
five over face value. No limit.

I'll take everything you can get
your tiny hands on.

- Make it 10 over face.
- Ten over face?

You heard me.

What do they teach you in here?

Okay, ten. Deal.

Stanley, take your diggers
to Yankee Stadium tomorrow...

and get me as many pope tickets
as you can.

I'll pay ten over face, no limit.

I need these tickets badly.

Close the parking lot.
You owe me.

What are you saying, Arty?
I need pope tickets.

I got nothin' for ya.

Sold your allotment to some new guy.
Walked up where you're standing now.

Offered me double your grease.
I should say no to that?

You should say, "Wait a minute,"
and call me.

It's two years
we've had this arrangement.

If you're unhappy, all you gotta do
is say something. We'll work it out.

You couldn't beat the offer.

Besides, it was cash on the spot.

- Who was it?
- Some new guy.

Never saw him before.
Slick, though.

Cell phone. Beeper.
Had an island accent.

How you doing, Benny?

Who's this guy?

Check it out, Johnny.
The Cheshire Cat.

It's some island guy from Miami.
Showed up a couple days ago.

We talked for a minute.

We talked.

Let me call you back.

How you doing, man?

Gary, right?

Heard a lot about you.
Casino.

Go by the Broadhurst today?

Yeah, man. Picked up
some nice action over there, boy.

Casino here.
How many you need?

Broadhurst is my juice.
Has been.

- Arty's your connection?
- That's right.

- I didn't know he was greased already.
- Now you know.

This is a problem.
No, no. No problem.

Gary, let's go.

It's a quarter to. You got to get
yourself presentable for Linda tonight.

- You gotta be sharp for Linda.
- I got you.

Sorry. So you were saying?

I said, undo what you did.

Next time check things out,
otherwise we're gonna have a problem.

Otherwise?

Shit happens, bro.

This is the wild west. There are
no rules. This is a day-by-day thing.

You slick, smiling shyster.

You don't tell him what to do.
He tells you.

- Get him out of here. Pull the punch.
- I'll drop him so fast.

- Take him out of here.
- He won't know up from down.

Let's go, champ.

Oh, Jesus.

Business is heating up.

Talk to me later.

We'll work something out.

- Count on it.
- Right.

He tries that again, I'll drill fingers
in his head, use it as a bowling ball.

Know what I mean?

Hey, Gary, swag sale.
Do you want a coat?

TV? Cigars? Batteries?

- Fat fuck!
- Fuck you!

I'd rather swallow Clorox
than deal with Fat Max.

Scum of the earth.

Draws no lines. Today it's coats,
tomorrow it's something else.

- Know what I mean?
- Yeah.

Are you clean?

Yeah, Gary.

I would never let you down.

I appreciate what you've done for me.
It's been two years.

You're a good kid.

Somebody's gonna have to take over
when I retire.

You will never retire.

As most of you are aware...

Miss Bennett is the restaurant critic
for the New York Times.

Her palate is exquisite.

And her review will count for one-third
of your total grade this quarter.

You will be judged on taste,
texture and presentation.

Medallion de veau en croute?

Very ambitious, my dear.

It's a lovely presentation.

It's very well done.

It's obvious you possess
a very rare talent, my dear.

I would like to see
more of your cooking.

Nice and cool.

You're the man.

Who's there?

Gary?

You're back.

How are you, Mrs. D.?
You're looking well.

And you need glasses. Wait.

Give this back to Julia Child.

Tell her I couldn't even tell
it was goat. Tasted just like chicken.

Will do.

You ever spend time
in your own apartment, Rhonda?

What for? It's more fun here
watching you suffer.

- Linda, Dean Martin is here.
- Very funny.

Here, lick the plate.

She's testing cookbooks again...

so I'm gaining like a sponge.

She's been fussing all day.

Really?

I think I'm gonna go.
I can't bear to watch this.

Good.

I'm going downstairs
to try to get a taxi.

I'm sorry.
I tried to call you three times.

Not Mrs. Haywood?

Mrs. Haywood, but no notice
and an impossible menu.

Oh, flowers. Oh, Blink.

Asparagus.

Haywood time! Blinkie, lay down.
Stay calm. We can do this.

I've got the water. Here we go.

- This is such a big break for me.
- I see that.

I'm really nervous.

I'm really sorry. I've been begging
the school for this opportunity.

It is Lydia Haywood!

You're gonna be great.

Oh, God!

Here we go.

After all, it is the catering business,
and you never know who will be there.

Everybody's gonna be there.
You're gonna be great.

Salmon mousse!

- Salmon mousse.
- Thanks.

Mrs. Haywood.
I love your salmon mousse.

- How is it? Good?
- I don't know.

That's good.

Ooh, I love the way you squeeze
that mousse right in the center.

Ooh, squeeze that mousse, baby.
Squeeze that mousse.

What?

What?

- What?
- What do you have there?

- What is that?
- What?

You've got something. What is that?
You okay? Burn yourself?

Can I get a little bit of that?

Shit! The torte tatin!

Mitts.

Thanks.

- I got it.
- Clear a place. Quick. Clear a place.

- Got it.
- Space.

- This white one?
- My nice white tray.

Here we go.
One, two...

three.

- Good job.
- Like we never stopped doing this.

- Why are you doing that?
- 'Cause I like it.

Come on.

Help me take that off now.

- Here we go. May I do the honors?
- Yes, please.

That works.
There it goes.

You're so beautiful.

Give me the scissors.

I tell you you're beautiful
and you tell me to get the scissors?

Ouch! I gotta talk to you.

- Gotta go.
- Gotta talk to you. Gotta talk.

Listen to me.
I gotta talk to you.

I gotta talk to you.
Something big's come up.

Don't look at me that way. Something
big enough to change everything for us.

Let me guess.
Another swell business idea...

to invest all the money in
that you don't have.

This is the real thing.
It's different. It's real.

Really? Is it like
the combination salad bar...

and Laundromat?

Or the drive-through
teeth-cleaning place?

What was that called?
Gary's Plaque-O-Rama.

You even had a commercial.

Big date
Tartar problem

That could've worked.

That's very funny. This is
a solid thing, real, respectable.

It's bullshit, Gary.

- You were concerned, right?
- I was very concerned.

Pay attention to me.
I'm talking about a real thing here.

Come on, come on.

I've been presented with
this opportunity. It's a one-shot deal.

It's a sure thing.

I want to talk to you about it.
It concerns you.

I'm not doing it anymore.
No. Good night.

We'll chat on the way.

Go, go, go!

That is one messed-up couple.

The way I figure it,
this'll make us enough money...

that if everything goes right, I could
stake you with anything you want.

Anything your heart desires,
I can provide for you.

That's great.

- Wish me luck.
- You don't need luck.

One last thing.
I'm already gone.

I wanted to let you know that scalping
tickets is history after the 25th.

Not like the other times.

Linda, dear.

Who's this person?

I'm not paying extra for help.

- It's included.
- He's leaving.

That's different.

But that jacket.

- You like it?
- No.

Wait here.

They loved the whatever-they-were.
Cleaned the plate.

I'm sure the waiter's charm
had something to do with it.

What a team.

Linda, the salmon toast.

I'm disappointed in their size.
They're awfully small.

They're the standard size,
Mrs. Haywood.

No, they were definitely small.

We'll reflect that on the bill.

Stop it.

Okay, which one is hers?

It's not worth it.

You kidding me?
I wouldn't put up with her shit.

You walk out, her shindig is history.

Yeah, and I lose money and new clients
I could pick up on a job like this.

I still say stick it to her.
It's not worth it.

Yes, it is. I really need this.
I've got plans.

I'm not gonna blow it over one job.

Well, sometimes, my dear,
you just have to say "fuck it."

Miss Haywood!

Right.

I'm sick of this.

Goodness, how lovely looking.

We can only hope it tastes
as good as it looks.

Here's your check.

You'll find I've deducted for
the smallness of the hors d'oeuvres.

The young man put altogether
too much champagne in the glasses.

You'll find that reflected
on the calculations.

And Mrs. Hamlish is on a diet,
so she shouldn't count as a full person.

A hundred dollars
doesn't even cover my expenses.

Young lady, I've been dealing with
the Culinary Institute for many years.

I give their best students
a grand opportunity.

You should be paying me
for this evening.

- Boy!
- Yes.

- The soup!
- Coming!

Good.

They're applauding the chef.

Haywood's taking all the credit.
So much for your new clients.

I'm really sorry.
I thought you did a fantastic job.

You did a fantastic job.
I'm proud of you.

I agree, sometimes you do have to be
a pro in these situations.

Sometimes you do have to make a plan
and stick to it.

Sometimes you do have to suck it up
and eat shit.

Sometimes... Sometimes...

Sometimes you just gotta say
fuck it!

Haywood time!

I've got an idea.

Did anybody hear the buzzer?

Oh, how beautiful.

I had so much fun today.

I've never done anything like that
in my whole life.

Stop it.

I'd love to see their faces
when they take a bite into that rawhide.

Stop.

Kitty litter can kill, you know.

I've been thinking about the things
that are happening to us now.

Did you know the pope
is coming into town?

An event like this
could stake our future.

I was thinking to myself...

"What am I gonna do
with all this money?

What are we gonna do
with all this money?"

Because it has to be right.

Then tonight it hits me
when I was watching you work.

You had them eating right out
of the palm of your hand.

Just the way you were moving.

You're... It's like poetry.

You're like a vision.

What?

Come closer.

- Hello.
- It's Benny.

- Call me back. I'm sleeping.
- Wake up! It's important.

Vinnie told me Red Dog is selling
pope tickets at the Yanni concert.

Vinnie said what?

Pope tickets tonight. P-O-P-E.

- How many are they releasing?
- I don't know. A lot.

I'll be right there.

Benny, what's happening?

Watch your step.
Talk to me.

You sure you don't want me to go?
Could be trouble. I can help.

How's Stanley?

He said his mother brought
her bridge club with her...

so we got 22 people digging tickets.

Stay on top of Stanley. Take Blinker
to the vet, see how she's doing.

And I got Linda at 8:00 tonight.

Gary, you got your ball?

- You never know.
- Thank you, Ben.

Gary, is that you? I need to talk
to you. Last night was...

A mistake?
You're damn right it was.

But don't ask me.
I'm just the nosy neighbor.

Did you see him?

No, but he left his love slave
a missive.

"Off to work.
See you tonight around 8:00."

He can't come at 8:00.
Alex is coming at 8:00.

Like he's really gonna show up.
To Gary, "around 8:00" means next week.

Damn!

I wanted to tell him about Alex...

but he kept looking at me
with those eyes.

Those puppy-dog eyes.

I just melt.
I have no courage.

Lin, it came.

Registered.
The doorman signed for it.

It's from Paris.

I got in.

Congratulations!

When do you leave?

Let freedom ring, Rocky. Come on.

Nice work, Head.

Good call.

How the fuck was I supposed to know?

How many undercover cops
wear kilts?

Oh, nice.

Very nice.

What are they gonna do to us?
I can't go to jail.

- I don't wanna be somebody's bitch.
- Will you shut up?

All they do is take your tickets
and hold you until the concert starts.

Then they let you go.
You walk kind of cute, though.

Come over here. Just sit on my lap.
I'll take care of you.

You ever see a monkey's rear end?

Give the guy a break.
Leave him alone.

He's mine.

What am I doing here?
I promised Linda I'd be back.

Oh, Rhonda.

What am I gonna do?

Write a note to the guy,
tape it to the door.

When he shows, he shows.

Why do I do this?

'Cause he's like a drug to you,
and you can't give him up.

I saw that on Ricki Lake.

This wouldn't happen
if you had a better holder.

What Vinnie's trying to say is
Benny's too old.

I love him, too, but he's too slow,
too fucking gone to hold.

You gotta have somebody who can fly.
A guy like Dice McGrath...

Skates Page, guys like that.

They can see the oscars coming.

How come they got your stuff,
they don't got mine?

You know why?

Oh, good one, Gary.

Benny taught me that. He ain't stupid.
He gives an honest count.

Told me he used to be
Joe Frazier's corner man.

He told me he was one of the original
Mercury astronauts.

I was there. I saw it.

Frazier was fighting Young
at the Garden. I was 13 years old.

I was working the players' entrance.

I had six boosted ringsides in my sock.

Three Wall Street guys come to me.

I get 'em up to $150,
out come the shields.

I get popped.
They threw me up against the wall.

They started slapping me around.
Then, out of nowhere...

comes this guy with his I.D. badge.

He says, "The kid's clean.
The kid is with us."

I'm going, "Who is this guy?"

The guys let me go.
He takes me inside...

hands me a ringside pass,
and doesn't say another word.

I've never seen him before in my life.

And this is Benny.

Benjamin Moran.

I take my ringside pass, and I'm sitting
right under Joe Frazier's corner.

Out comes Frazier.

Hungry! Smoking!
Next to him is?

Benny.

He's wearing one of those smocks
with "Smoking Joe Frazier" in sparkles.

So he's the water boy?

He's the corner man, asshole!

Every time he comes back to the corner,
he's there sponging him off, saying...

"Stay on top of him. Joe, look at me.
Don't let him breathe."

He's doing this round after round.

In the last round, Joe Frazier goes back
to the corner, his heart is pumping.

Benny's screaming at the top of
his lungs, "Joe, look at me! Hook him!

Hook him! Hook him!"

He goes out, throws a left hook.
Boom! Fight's over.

Great fight.
Benjamin Moran.

That's a great story.
Too bad it's all bullshit...

because Benny never knew
Joe Frazier.

Want me to tell the story again?
What the fuck's going on here?

So why'd you dump him then?

Because he won't grow up.

But Bug Man, I like this guy.

He's strong, steady...

and we get free pest control.

Aren't you gonna get it?

I'm coming.

Hi. Sorry I'm late.

What? I missed my train. Tell me
you didn't expect me until tomorrow.

Here, I got you this.
It's that slicer on TV.

Thanks. You gotta leave.

Right. Okay.

I'll take Blinker for a long walk.

She's out for a walk.

- Who's walking her?
- It doesn't matter.

- It matters. Who's walking her?
- It doesn't matter. She's being walked.

Gary, just leave it.

- Hey, you! That's my dog!
- What?

- Get your hands off my dog!
- This isn't your dog.

- What are you doing with my dog?
- Taking it for a walk.

That's what they all say.
It's not an "it," it's a "she."

- I was taking her for a walk.
- You're trying to steal my dog.

Wait, wait.

Let me say one thing to you.
This isn't your dog.

Get your hands off my dog.

Drop the dog.

What?

I asked him to walk Blinker.

Okay. You all right?

- Sorry.
- Yeah.

This is Alex. He's my friend.
My boyfriend.

Look.

I told you. I've moved on.

I was going to tell you everything,
but you never gave me a chance.

Hi. It's Gary.

Linda told me all about you.

She would've told me about you,
but I guess...

I didn't let her.

I screwed up.

I should go.
Take it easy.

See you.

Nice meeting you.

You ain't kidding.

Whack the boyfriend.
He's causing you pain.

I know a guy who'll do it as a joke.

Make him swallow his own bug spray.

I'm serious.
I got the guy.

Give me the word, I'll call him.

Sympathy is the key.

You gotta make her
feel sorry for you.

Get an operation.
Have something taken out of you.

Donate one of your livers.

You could pretend Linda's
still your girlfriend, only she's...

away on a cruise or in a coma,
or something like that.

Wear a sock in your pants.

I'm serious. It works.
I've got a whole collection.

Different sizes, lengths, thicknesses.
I'll lend you a couple. Try it.

Get that for me, will you?

You don't separate?

Buy her a pair of shoes.

Women love shoes.

That and oral hygiene.

Buy her a bike.
Women love bikes.

That or a big diamond.

She must know you have a passion.

Tell her.

Tell her what you feel.

Remember how she wanted me
to get a social security number?

I should've.

Yeah, you should've. But can he think up
a scam to fly for free?

She doesn't care about that.
See that?

See how the IRS has auctions
for boats and houses and stuff?

The other day I was thinking...

I was watching her...

She was catering this extraordinary meal
for all these Guccis, and it hit me.

I said, "Now I know.
I have the answer."

The beauty of it all is that
we could do this together.

It could be me and her
doing this together.

That'd be great...

being together all the time
with someone you really loved.

You want to know
what she really wants?

How would you know?

I'm a girl, too,
in case you didn't notice.

Stop talking.

All you ever do is yak,
but what have you ever done?

I mean something concrete.
You love her, then show her.

- What do you think I'm doing?
- You're bullshitting.

Do the little things.

She wants a social security number,
then go get one. Sign some forms.

It may not seem like much,
but it's symbolic.

Noble deeds.

You go do that now,
and follow through...

and maybe you've got
one last chance.

Do it now?

Social security number?

Let me see what you've done
with this form, sir.

No. You have to fill
this out completely.

May I see your birth certificate?

No. I couldn't find that thing.

We need some record
that you exist...

so I'm going to need an insurance card,
union card.

I don't have that.

- Voter's registration card.
- What for?

- Bank statement.
- No.

- Driver's license?
- No.

I've got a locker key from the Y.

That's not gonna help me.

What I need is record you exist.

It's from the Y.
Everybody knows me there.

Step out of the line. When you have
record you exist, then come back.

- I'm existing right now.
- I see you, but I need record.

- I'll find something.
- Thank you. Step out of the line.

Nobody told me you need a
birth certificate to get those numbers.

I could've saved myself an afternoon.

- Just call the hospital.
- What hospital?

- Where you were born?
- I don't know if I was born in one.

They told me I didn't even exist.

- Try the Bureau of Vital Statistics.
- I've got something else cooking.

How we doing with Stanley?
How many tickets did we get?

Actually, we got none.

None? What are you talking about?

Stanley said he's got nothing for us,
nobody did.

Don't go crazy, don't get nuts.

You gotta be calm, you gotta be cool.

And you gotta be still inside.

Come here, you piece of shit!

- Where are my pope tickets!
- I didn't take any money!

I want my tickets.
Where are my tickets?

I sold them.

You sold them?

You piece of shit.
Where are my tickets?

Calm down.

I'll ask you one more time.
Where are my tickets?

The dude was offering cash on the spot.

I told my crew not to take it.
I know I owe you...

but everybody's flocking this guy
because he's peeling off 20s.

- What guy?
- Some island guy.

Excuse me.

Where's that island guy?

I saw him by the backstage area.
What's up?

Finally sold the tickets.

- Where's backstage?
- Over there.

Seen that island fuck?

- What are you doing?
- I'm gonna drop the fucker.

Stay here. Leave it alone.

What do you mean?
That fuck stole my life!

Those tickets are my life!

- Where is he?
- I don't know. Do it for me.

Leave it alone for me.
How about that?

What do you mean, "for you"?
What is that supposed to mean?

- I think he's getting to you.
- Why? Talk to me straight.

What do you mean, "for you"?

A lot of people are working for him,
and I'm working for him too...

'cause I make more money.

I'm supposed to keep you off his back
because we know each other.

Come here! Come here!

No! This is the men's room!

Look at yourself in the mirror!
Take your glasses off and look.

You like that image?

You happy with yourself?
Is this what you want for your kid?

What are you doing?
What is that?

Just stop yelling.

I know I fucked up, Gary.

I'm gonna get clean, but right now,
it's just something I've gotta do.

I'm looking at myself,
and I fucked up.

I fucked up.

I'm sorry.

He's gonna ask me
if you're gonna be a problem.

I gotta tell him something.

Tell him that I am gonna be a problem.

He's not alone.
He don't play by our rules.

He'll do whatever it takes,
and he's not alone.

He has so many people.

You got a baby inside you,
and I don't know what you're doing.

If I see you like this one more time,
I'm not gonna be your friend anymore.

I know where you can get
200 plus seats for the pope.

I was gonna tell Casino.
I won't tell him.

You back off.
Fat Max has got them.

230 of them.

Then you got the tickets,
and for me you back off.

You're blocking my UV rays.

Max, word is you're selling something
I might be interested in.

Max? Did I hear you say Max?

Not Fat Max...

or Fat Fuck or Fuck Face anymore?

Funny. Suddenly everybody wants
to be my friend.

- How much?
- Five large.

I'll give a grand now
and the rest after the show.

You want me to wail till after the show.
Fine, I can wait.

But I'm not the one that counts.

Talk to the guy inside
in the nice suit, ltalian loafers.

You can't miss him.
You ask him if he can wait.

He told me I settle up by Saturday
or I don't walk so good Sunday.

I need those tickets.

This ain't a deli where you pick
a number and stand in line.

This is the fucking street.
First come, first served.

Bring me five grand by Saturday, you
can have a fucking religious experience.

- Where'd you get them?
- From some orphans.

What the fuck do you care?
I got them, okay?

I got 'em.

By Saturday.

Make a list of the events going on.
I don't care what they are.

Pony shows, midget tossings, whatever.
If there's a ticket, I'll work it.

You got it.

I've got tickets close enough
to kiss the Torah as it goes by.

Don't atone. See if I care.

I've got orchestra seats.

Thirty bucks apiece. It's sold out.

Cats! It's good,
and they got more cats now.

Backstage pass, front row seats.
Bon Jovi!

Knock yourself out.

- We got you. You're under arrest.
- Come on. Goddamn it!

I said two bills.
I didn't say what kind of bill.

Benny!

He's over the other side.
He's okay. He's okay.

Gimme my money back.

He's okay.

First time's free, no charge.
Welcome to Casino's corner.

I did that for you.

Casino and Company is expanding.

Got kind of a union thing
happening here.

Dues are not high...

considering the benefits
and protection you receive.

Membership week ends tonight.

After that, it's gonna get
very lonely out here.

I'm looking forward to it.

Stay out of my face or I'll crack
that coconut head of yours.

Whatever you say, Gary.

Funny guy.

I'm dying here.

Stadium spokesman made it official.
The Papal Mass is sold out.

1.6 million people vied
for the 65,000 seats.

Ticket windows closed at 1:45.
You got shut out?

Shame on you. You didn't say
enough Hail Marys or Our Fathers.

Linda Paliski?
What are you doing here?

I'm sorry for how you found out
about Alex.

No hard feelings. Don't worry about it.
Me and Blinker have moved on.

Then why are you sitting
in front of my apartment?

I'm not sitting. I'm waiting.
Waiting for Benny.

He's old.
I want to save him the walk.

Yeah, that's Mommy!
You smell Mommy?

Yes, I know.
I feel the same way. I know.

You're gonna have to talk to her
about that. I can't help you.

She'll be back.

Well?

- Would you like to sit?
- Yeah, why not?

- Is that for me? Thank you.
- Yes.

I think I'll save it.

Me and Blinkie will have a shindig later
because we're all by ourselves.

We don't have much stuff
at the apartment.

Say hi to Mom.

She almost forgot who you were.

Good girl.

She misses you. Can't live without you.
Thinks about you all the time.

Listen, I want you to know
how special you are.

Go no further.

I like it there.
This is good.

There is fine, okay?

I'm leaving. I got into Cordon Bleu.
I go to Paris in three weeks.

You don't have to leave the country just
'cause you don't wanna be my girlfriend.

It's a little drastic.

I really wanted you to be there
when I got the letter...

'cause you always seemed to want it
as much as me.

But then...

you always had
more faith in me than I did.

You're special.
You don't need to go to Paris.

What are you gonna do?

I really worry about you.

You're not like other people.
You don't have things.

You're adrift, a nonentity.

- I'm not a nonentity.
- You don't exist.

-I do exist.
-You can't keep doing what you're doing.

One day you're gonna wake up
and you're gonna be somebody's Benny.

I don't wanna be there to see it.

I see Blinker doesn't wear
her cone anymore.

I wonder what all that scratching
was about.

- Allergies.
- What was she allergic to?

Pesticides.

- Book in?
- In his office.

Five more days till Pope John Paul's
Papal Mass at Yankee Stadium.

If you don't have a ticket, too bad.
The seats are bought.

An event like this
comes once in a lifetime.

You're not listening to me.

Do you know the word "no"?
It's a complete sentence.

You believe that greaseball Franco?

Cost me 20 large last night.

Tonight...

he's gonna be my hero.

- What can I do for you?
- I need capital to make a move.

What does this look like here?
I'm a bookmaker, not a shylock.

What about that proposition you offered?
You fund my moves for a percentage.

I have this sure thing with the pope.

The pope?

Is there nothing you don't work?

I need $1,800. Twenty percent
of my first dollar you can have.

Sit down. Let me tell you
something I have learned.

Let me share something with you.

Life, my friend, is timing.

Some people know that, some don't.
Me, I live by it.

I feel something's right, I do it.

I like you, Gary.
I've never seen nobody better than you.

I swear to God, I'll never forget them
tickets you got me for Jimmy Roselli.

Right down front, first row.
Beautiful night.

But lately I'm hearing disturbing
things like you're not the man anymore.

That's bullshit. Listen to me.
I'm on top of this thing.

This is what I'm hearing.

That some new kid is running
the walk out there.

He moved right in.

Myself, I'm sorry to hear it. But
I'm a businessman so I can't help you.

Take whatever cut you want.
You want something else, something more?

You're not hearing me!

I never bet on nobody
past their prime.

Hi, Benny.
Yeah, it's me.

In all the years we've been together,
this is the first time I've been here.

I know.

It's a nice place.

It's a shithole.

But there's a terrific shower.

Best shower I ever had.

I appreciate this. I'm gonna get
that back to you right away.

I'll get it back to you.

Yeah.

Well, you know.

I'm worried about you.
You don't plan for your future.

The future's coming.

I ain't always gonna be around
to take care of you.

When something goes wrong,
what are you gonna do?

Are you gonna lend me this money
or not?

I'm gonna turn this thing right over.
It's a piece of cake.

I'll call you in the morning.

- Gary?
- What?

This on the up-and-up?

We always worked legit.

It's not a problem.
I told you, it is totally legit.

We're gonna be okay, old man.

Five grand.
Knock yourself out.

A funny thing happens to me
this morning. I can hardly believe it.

I get a phone call that someone else
is interested in buying these items.

I'm thinking, maybe I am underpriced.

So I tell this other guy six large.
He says, "Fine."

He's on his way as we speak.
Sorry.

Okay. Sorry? Sorry?

You'll bet your knees this guy is gonna
show up while I have cash on hand?

Sorry? Okay, sorry. Have a nice meal.
Hope you choke to death.

Wait.
Come here.

You want this or not?
I got five grand here!

I don't care if you take it or not
because I'm tired...

of looking at you slobbering
all over yourself!

So, are you going to take
this money or not?

Right now! One, two...

Yes!

Just four more days to the Papal Mass.
The city looks like Rome on the Hudson.

You can't go anywhere without running
into someone selling pope memorabilia.

Make a move here, Benny.

Remind me to go by the Beacon.
You go by the "Y" and take out Blinker.

Forget about Arty at the Broadhurst.
He's dead.

We'll go to
Madison Square Garden someday.

Benny, we ain't got all day.
Let's go, make a move.

You writing this down?
Write this down. What's the matter?

You didn't get them tickets
from no stadium guy.

- What are you talking about?
- You got them from Fat Max.

So what? Let's go.
Let's make a move!

So what? He's scum!

Who knows what he did?
Who knows where he got them?

- Who cares?
- You used to care.

Don't start with me.
Come on, get off my back!

Do you want your money back?
I'll give it back.

- You want it back?
- You know that's not it.

Then what do you want from me?
Want me to give up on Linda?

To give up the best thing
that's ever happened in my life?

Don't you think I look at you every day
and pray to God I don't turn into you?

A broken-down nobody with a bunch
of stories, half of which are bullshit.

But at least you have stories!

I got nothing, but now I got my shot.
These tickets are my way out of here.

I'm gonna take my shot. I've been paying
for your fuck-ups for 11 years.

You're no one to tell me
how to run my life.

Have you ever beaten anybody
in the ring?

Yes, I have.
And I was an honest fighter.

You were a human punching bag,
now you're a gofer for me.

Perfect. We're doing great.
What am I saying?

Come on, Benny, I didn't mean that.

- That's all right. Just keep the money.
- That's not what I meant.

Maybe it'll help pay for what I cost you
for the last 11 years.

Good-bye.
Leave me alone.

Benny, wait a second.
Stop, please.

I'm sorry I got mad at you.

I didn't mean what I said.

You're the best fighter.
You're the best corner man.

I just need a little room on this thing.
Just this once.

You said things...

I know. I didn't mean it.
I'm sorry. Listen to me.

- Look at me.
- You said things.

Keep your chin up here.
I gotta talk to you.

Stick with me. You're what separates me
from the scum of this earth.

You give me class.
Please stick with me on this one thing.

Okay? You're my corner man.
When I hurt, you stop the bleeding.

I'm bleeding right now,
and I need you.

This one time, I need you.
Please.

- You really need me?
- Absolutely.

I need you.
Please.

One shot.

If you need me, okay.

You're all I got, kid.

I got nobody else.

Gary!

All right!

- How you doing, man? Cool shirt!
- Where's Mrs. Paliski?

Over here. Come on.
Time out. Let's go.

I heard Linda dumped you.
Total bummer.

Ma!

I'm so happy to see you!
I was afraid you wouldn't come.

Free food, great broads.

Cut the crap. I know you.
You got something up your sleeve.

- Want a beer?
- Yes.

Look, everybody!

She gave you the stare.
You know what that means.

A long one.

Twice with the stare.

Everybody, home movies!

Why do we subject ourselves to this
every year? Why?

Why? You don't like living the most
boring moments of the past every year?

There's been a major technological
breakthrough. What's it called?

Oh, yeah. Video.

So you can fast forward
through all my stuff? Never.

Okay, here she comes.
Cut the lights.

This ain't Busch Gardens.

I was sure I put on the right reel.

It's Gary and Linda.

You got it out of focus.

Leave it. We want to see this.

When did Blinky develop
that skin rash?

You guys make a lovely couple.

Oh, what a couple!

Good work.

I knew you'd be here.

- You embarrassed me.
- I know. I'm sorry.

I just wanted to give you
this little not-going-away present.

I found it in one of my bags.

It's a trophy.

This is what's important.
It's a first-place couples competition.

Remember?
We won it at Macy's picnic.

We won the three-legged race...

the tag-team sack race
and the egg pushing contest.

- Want to know why?
- 'Cause we weren't drinking.

No. Because we were
the best couple together.

Best first-place couple.

Best together.
Me and you.

I'm working on something that will
resolve your problems. Listen to me.

Don't you ever get tired
of dreaming?

Ever since we met, you've dreamed
of wonderful things for us.

Things that have made my heart soar.
But what do we have to show for it?

- What?
- Let me show you.

I loved you like I have loved no other,
and believed in you with all my heart.

But I need to know what is gonna happen
with the rest of my life.

Give me two weeks...

and I'll show you.

I'm gonna miss you.

Okay, a week. One week!

Hi, sweetie. How are you?

- Great!
- Mind if I join you?

Please. I'd love the company.
Want a bite?

No. I don't like
to mix my meats.

That looks too rich.
Been having a little indigestion lately.

I wonder why.

It's not the dogs.
It's the chemicals.

It's really nice to see you.

What brings you to the neighborhood?
Do you have business?

No. I just wanna talk to you
about Gary.

There's nothing left to say.

Do you see what it's been like for him
these years with nobody?

I know he doesn't have a family.
I brought him into mine.

I wanted to start a family with him.

Look. Do you think leaving him
is easy? It's not.

You're everything to him.
You're his angel.

He's onto something,
and I don't know what.

But he's onto something,
and it's important.

There's a different look in his eyes.
I never saw it before.

There's a burning in there.

It's intense.

It's a determination, like a focus.

You'll see what I'm talking about,
because it's there.

I want...

I'm gonna ask you
to do something for me.

It'll make this old man feel like...

he's finally done something meaningful
later on in his life.

Will you promise me something?

No, no. This is not
what my partner and I had in mind.

-You'll have to swing two years on that.
-We're looking for five.

You'll have to swing two,
and you got till Monday.

There's another buyer interested.

No, there's not.
I'll see you Monday.

Benny!

Benny, let's go.
Let's make a move.

Three more days to show time!

Come on, let's go. Benny.

This is it?

Yes. It's a lovely spot!
Isn't it?

How much for something
with a little privacy?

This way.

Level, dickhead. Pick it up!

I got the heavy end.

Sister Betrayal, English, please.

- Some lives begin with birth.
- Some?

Some?

Others take flight.

Be quiet.

Faster, Father.

Guys, give him a break.
He's trying to do his job.

Lose the priest. Padre,
go get yourself a whiskey sour.

Gary, you say something about him.
You knew him best.

Yeah, right, Gary.

Nice try. Tough crowd.

A lot of things
I could say about Benny.

He liked you guys a lot.

Nobody played a cripple
better than Benny.

That's true.

For sure.

Excuse me.

Excuse us.

- You Gary?
- Yes, sir.

Thanks for calling.

Thanks for coming, Champ.

Hook 'em, Benny!

Thank you.

Hey, Joe,
I was Benny's best friend.

Sorry, Benny.
I thought it was all bullshit.

Let's go get an autograph.

Benny was lucky to have you
in his life.

You meant the world to him.

Look at this.

You want a ride to the city?

I wanna stay here for a while.

What is it?

It's there!

What does that mean?

Benny came to see me the other day and
said you were going to ask me something.

And that no matter what it was,
I was to say "yes."

To do that for him.

Okay. Will you meet me
some place Monday at 9:00 a.m.?

It'll be the last thing I ask of you.
Monday, 9:00 a.m., 157 Duane Street.

Please, for Benny.

Not just for Benny.

For you.

Tomorrow's the big day.
Papal Mass at Yankee Stadium.

Can I come in?

No. And I ain't got
any money for you.

Fat Max got arrested yesterday.

Those tickets you got,
they were for...

some church thing, some charity thing
and they're looking for you.

The heat's really heavy on this.

Don't cry, please.

Don't cry. Okay?

Listen to me.

I know a Dr. Perlman.
He's a good friend. I sell him tickets.

I'm gonna take you there tomorrow,
and we're gonna get you all better.

And clean you up.
And this baby's gonna be fine.

You ever hear that
it's good for kids to listen to music?

Wanna see?

- Wait. Wait.
- You don't want to?

No, I'm just scared.

Wait.

That's beautiful.

Earl "The Pearl" Monroe.
He's goin'! He's movin'!

He's got it. Turning the ball over.
Going for the jump shot.

Let's put this on. Where's the head?
That's the head there?

Good morning, New York!
The big day has arrived.

The Papal Mass at Yankee Stadium
in four hours.

Forgive me, Father,
for I am about to sin.

Come on, folks. Tickets, 900 a pop.

It's once in a lifetime.

This is genuine Popesicles...

made with Vatican sugar
and holy water.

T-shirts.
New from the Vatican collection.

Pope T-shirts.
He's back, he's here!

This is the big score. He wasn't
at the apartment. He's gotta be here.

The guy is here.

- Thank you very much.
- Did you see Gary?

He's not gonna be here.
With all these people around? No way.

A lot of oscars here.
I hope he stays low. Pope T-shirts.

Excuse me, Sister.
This guy is looking for a pair.

You got $600? Box seats.
Right behind first base.

One, two, three, four, five, six.
Let's go.

Bless you, my son.

- How are we doing?
- Very nice.

Say some Hail Marys.
We might pull this off.

- Been there, done that.
- See ya.

Tickets? Close enough
to count the beads.

$500.

You got tickets?
What do you need? Two?

The oscars.

Right there.
Knock yourself out.

A lady and a lucky man.
I'll say a prayer for you.

He's dressed up. The guy's here.
I'm telling you. He's everywhere.

There's no way he couldn't be here.
Hey, give me a break.

Tickets? Tickets?

Very clever.
That's very, very clever.

You almost pulled this off.
Almost.

The dance is over, my friend.

Police! Police!
It's him! That's him!

Over here.

He say anything?

I'm here to ask you one more time.

Where are those tickets?

I don't know anything
about any tickets.

He's lying.
We'll get him.

Knock 'em dead, Pope.

Knock 'em dead.

You've been blessed. Now get out.

Hey, brother.

What happened today, all that commotion
you had to go through...

was 'cause of me.

Remember when I told you
this was the wild west?

Well...

I'm the one with all the horses
and I got all the land.

You want to work on my land,
you have to pay the baron's price.

Works like this.

I supply tickets and protection
for 70% of your take.

Okay. Why don't you
go fuck yourself?

Piece of shit!

Hold him up. Hold him up.

Hold him up.

Like that? Like that shit?

That's for calling me coconut,
you fuck! Let's go.

Let's go.

Shit!

Gary?

- Are you all right?
- Let me help you up.

- You all right?
- He's all bloody.

Shit. Come on.

Oh. Oh, man.

- I got it.
- You all right?

- I got it, I got it.
- All right.

- Slow down. Hold on.
- Easy. You aren't going anywhere.

I'm okay. I got it.

Where are you going?
Come on, hang on.

Hey, I don't work here no more.

Yes, Mr. Starke? I'm Ray Charles
from Farmer's Insurance.

Mr. Starke, sir?

- What?
- I know. I get that all the time.

I'm obviously not that Ray Charles.
But I'm not here to sell you insurance.

May I come in just a moment?

Just take a moment of your time.

I just have a couple questions
for you on this whole thing.

Obviously...

you are the...

Gary Starke who resides
at 215 West 23rd Street.

Yeah.

Good. Now as...

Mr. Moran's sole beneficiary
on the life insurance policy...

what I need to do is get a couple
of paperwork things finished up.

What did you say there?

Benjamin Moran.

He has you listed as the beneficiary
on his life insurance policy.

We've been looking for you
for almost a week.

I don't usually find it so hard
to give away $56,000.

Tax free.

If I can see some identification.

I don't have any identification.

That is correct.

It says the recipient should have
no means of identification.

In which case, Mr. Starke...

I can give you this, sir.

If I can just
leave this with you.

And I almost forgot.
Bear with me.

The City Probate Office asked me
to forward this to you.

I said I would.

That's for you as well.

I do wish you a very good day.

Good luck to you, sir.

Have a really fine day, sir.
Good-bye.

All there.

Benny! Yes!

Linda?

Linda, I'm coming.

Open up.
I know you don't leave till tomorrow.

Sorry. Where's Linda?

Linda's gone.

I'm the new tenant. I'm Vickie.
Who are you?

Rhonda. Rhonda.
It's me Gary. Open up.

- What?
- Where is she?

I don't have to tell you anything.

Please open the door.
Please open the door. One time.

- I beg of you. Tell me where'd she go.
- Why should I tell you anything?

I want to do this one thing for her.
Just one thing. Please.

She at her mom's. But you're too late.
They're on their way to the airport.

Good luck.

Mrs. Paliski?
Yeah, this is Gary.

Listen. No, everything's fine.
I need you to do me a favor.

Which way are you going?

Honey, let the man do his job.

But I said Kennedy.

You missed the tunnel.
Can you turn back?

Relax.

That's it. I'm writing down
your badge number.

The old broad gave me a fifty to take
you to this corner and drop you off.

For fifty more, I will take you
wherever you want to go.

- I'm not giving you a dime.
- Then get out!

I don't know what is going on.

I don't know.
I just like the guy.

And if I'm wrong,
you'll just have to forgive me.

Taxi! Yo!

Come with me.

Three. Table seven.

Service charge is included.
Go in peace, Gary.

Thank you, Father.
In peace I go.

Honey, have you noticed
we are $200 to $300 over every night?

Really?

Do you have any idea why?

Not a clue.

Really? Could you take the pot
and follow me?

Gary, let it go. Leave it.

Save the paper.

Five dollars, five dollars.

Five dollars, ma'am.
Five dollars, huh?

Nice haircut.
What size bowl they use?

You can't hear it,
but your dog can.

Five dollars, brother.
How 'bout...

Four dollars.

Four fifty.
Then forget it.