Just Tell Me What You Want (1980) - full transcript

[instrumental music]

[instrumental music continues]

(male #1)
Hello--

(female narrator)
I want to tell you
about how I got married.

Actually, it's a
very romantic story.

All about a fierce
and powerful tyrant

and me, the damsel in distress.

And a brave, young knight.

This is the Herschel
Industries logo.

Max designed it himself,
and it is prominently displayed

on everything he owns.



I was his favorite subsidiary.

I belonged to Max

just like Kanusa Sporting Goods
and Malabar Mining.

Oh, I'm not complaining.

Belonging to Max Herschel
had a lot of advantages.

It was fun and first class
all the way.

When the big break-up finally
came, it wasn't Max's fault.

He didn't change. I did.

I think Stella knew what
was happening before I did.

Oh, no, not at all.

We think Newsweek
is a splendid magazine.

We subscribe to Newsweek,
we applaud Newsweek

but we do not shoot the breeze
with Newsweek. Goodbye.

[phone ringing]



Ah.

Hello. Oh, good evening,
Dr. Grodick.

Now, about Ms. Merritt's teeth.

Mr. Herschel won't spring for
a complete cap job on this one.

No. The last one cost $17,000,
and he only kept her a year.

(female narrator)
Stella knew everything.

She was even in charge of
getting the girls in his harem

through orthodonture
and into good schools.

Stella called Max's girls..

[narrator chuckles]

..."The Herschel Scholars."

That's me, back when
I was Max's best girl.

Hold it!

Max financed my TV company.

But I won the four
Emmys on my own.

And another thing.

Max never had to put
braces on my teeth.

I have a perfect bite.

[instrumental music]

(Stella)
'Cathy, I wouldn't have chosen
you if you couldn't handle it.'

If you can place overseas
calls in the office

you can do it
in a private house.

That's mostly what we do
in the mornings.

'You'll have six lines,
and you'll need them all.'

Now, remember what I told you.

'Anything you see
or hear in the house'

'is 100 percent confidential.
No exceptions.'

Here.

What is it?

Everyone who works closely
with Mr. Herschel

signs one of these.

(Stella)
'It's a legally binding agreement'

'that the signer will never
under any circumstances'

'during his term of employment
with Herschel Industries'

'and forever thereafter'

discuss Mr. Herschel or any
aspect of Herschel Industries

with any member of any
branch of the media

or personally write
of same. Okay?

(Stella)
Where is he?

(male #2)
On the tennis court, Ms. Liberti.

- Good morning.
- Who's this?

Cathy Kroneg from accounting.

Ruth's out, and I had
to loan Janet to Stanley.

So I thought I'd give
Cathy a try.

- What's the matter with Ruth?
- She's running a fever.

What kind of fever?
How high?

Who's the doctor?

Some intern she's
bangin' to save money?

Cathy, call my doctor.

Tell him I'd appreciate it
if he'd make a housecall.

I'll send a car.
And one rule.

Tell her exactly what time
Dr. Kierstein's coming

so she doesn't have that intern
hangin' with his dick out.

And warn her. She mustn't ever
use antibiotics without yogurt

except tetracycline. With
tetracycline, no dairy products.

Her horny, little intern
probably doesn't know that.

Call Hammacher Schlemmer.
Order a yogurt maker.

My driver will pick
it up at the store.

Let's get on the
overseas calls first.

- 'Enough already.'
- The banks.

(Stella)
Monsieur Jacques Mill in Geneva,
Herr Hoffman in Zurich.

'That's what we're here for.'

We're here to dump
International Pictures.

That's what we're here for.

(Max)
'You know what Monsieur
Jaccques was trying to do?'

We're gettin' there, Dick.

He was trying to rinky-dink me.
Could you believe that?

Mr. Herschel, it's Monsieur
Jacques Mill in Geneva.

Bonjour. Bonjour,
Monsieur Jacques Mill.

[speaking French]

- 'Monsieur Jack Mill?'
- 'Oui, Monsieur.'

I got a call saying you'd
advised Monsieur Rossi

against our
International Picture move.

- Why was that?
- 'I merely advised caution..'

Monsieur Jack Mill, we'll expect
the call from Monsieur Rossi

around noon New York time today.

Otherwise, Herschel Industries
will pull out of your bank.

That is to say,
"Everybody does it our way

or Herschel Industries
is closing it's legs."

- 'Quoi?'
- Closing les jambe, Monsieur.

We'll expect that call.

Said the elephant as he
danced among the chickens.

'Meet me up at the house.'

Cathy, get me Bones.

(Stella)
That's Miss Burton, Cathy.

(Stella)
229-3714.

(Max)
'That's a nice sweater you're
wearing, Cathy. Nice fit.'

(female #1)
'Twelve.'

[phone ringing]

Thirteen.

Fourteen.

- I still can't get it.
- You don't go with it, man.

You got to go with it.

Yeah, see?

Ooh! Ta, ta, ta, ta.

Ah, ah. Ta, ta.

- Ta, ta.
- Yeah.

There doesn't seem to be
any answer, Mr. Herschel.

Let it ring, sweetheart.
Let it ring.

Yeah! You're gettin' it, man.

Screw you.

[phone continues ringing]

Twenty.

Hello, sweetheart.
I got back late.

Yeah. Lousy flight.

(Max on telephone)
'I was held up
over three hours.'

I didn't wanna wake you.
Did you have a good night?

- In bed by 12.
- So was I.

In bed at 12 and up
like a lark at 2.

[chuckles]

(Max)
Bones, you alright?

Something bothering you?
Are you okay?

I'm fine. I went back
to work yesterday.

- You haven't been in office?
- I took a couple of days off.

Have you been sick? A virus?

Did you call Dr. Kierstein?

No. I called Dr. Benecek.

- Benecek?
- It's alright. I'm fine.

Nothing to it.
It's all over. I'm okay.

You should've told me that
you weren't feeling well.

Well, we'll talk
later, sweetheart.

I'm glad you're feeling better.

Dr. Benecek's office.
Good morning.

This is Max Herschel.
Put me through to Dr. Benecek.

Yes.

(Max on telephone)
'Why wasn't I informed
about her visit?'

She is perfectly fine,
Mr. Herschel.

- 'How long?'
- Less than five weeks.

- 'Did you consult?'
- No, no. No reason to consult.

(Dr. Benecek on telephone)
'Please remember, Mr. Herschel,
Miss Burton's my patient.'

Please remember, Dr. Benecek,
Max Herschel pays the bills.

Don't mess with me, kid.

Medicaid morning.

Get me Mrs. Herschel
in Peabody.

That's Wisconsin on the Rolodex.

Still pretty early.

You know how late she sleeps.

They're supposed to get up
early in the nuthouse.

Good morning, Moe.

Put the call through, Cathy,
but make sure he's there.

What's his name?
The new one she likes.

- Dr. Coleson.
- Yeah, Coleson.

I'll talk to him right after
I talk to Mrs. Herschel.

[phone buzzing]

Hello?

Connie? How are you, darling?

You sound sleepy.

(Max on telephone)
'You're sleeping better,
aren't you?'

'I told you you would.'

All that dumb, clean,
Midwestern air. So what's new?

'What's on the schedule
today, darling?'

What? Schedule?

(Mrs. Herschel on telephone)
'Oh, the clinic schedule.'

We're taking a
cooking lesson today.

- Cooking?
- That's right.

Today's Merangs.

Max, it's cooking.

Yeah, today's Merangs.

(Max)
'You're gonna bake
Merangs? Fantastic.'

Chocolate or vanilla? Save the
recipe for when you come home.

And speaking of coming home.

I know you'll wanna be here
for Baby and Stan's anniversary.

Remember? On the 12th?

'We're gonna throw
a big one.'

'Hire two bands,
drip diamonds, the works.'

No. No, Max, um.

You-you can't count on me.

You can't depend on me.
I can't function, Max!

'But we are counting
on you, sweetheart.'

You go wash your face
and tell Dr. Coleson

you're coming home on the 11th.

Put Dr. Coleson on.
I'll speak to you soon.

[crying]

Hello?

'I can depend on you
to have Mrs. Herschel here'

'for our daughter's
anniversary party on the 12th.'

'Pack up a nurse
to travel with her.'

'Only for a couple days.
I'll send a plane.'

'Mrs. Herschel's
condition's too fragile.'

Don't hand me that crap.
She's not fragile.

She's just a lady with a hobby.

To hand me a hard time
which it does.

Get her out of Peabody
on the 11th.

If she doesn't fuck up the
Merangs, freeze and send 'em.

I want everything
I'm paying for.

Breakfast is ready,
Mr. Herschel.

[phone rings]

Bones? Hello, sweetheart.

Now, listen to me.
I wanna see you.

I brought you something pretty
back from Switzerland.

So why don't you come up
for lunch today? Okay?

I have a date for lunch.

'Then we'll make it dinner
at your place.'

'Why don't you let Lester
and Mrs. Bunny off'

We'll spend an evening alone?

You're gonna love
what I found for you.

'Bones, I was walking
by Bulgari's--'

You don't owe me anything, Max.

I know I don't owe you anything.

I was walking by and saw
this in the window

and it had your name on it.
How about dinner?

Want me to cook chick?

Sweet and sour soup?
You love sweet and sour soup.

'Okay, sweetheart?'

Okay.

Call Bulgari's quick. Tell 'em
I need something for Bones.

Julie knows the kind of junk
she likes. That coral stuff.

Goddamn it!
I can't live like this.

Why do I have to live like this?

Nothing in this house works.
What's the use?

I might as well be broke
and a bum in Nicaragua.

[sneezes]

Goddamn dust! Dust!

God! Why doesn't anyone in this
damn house ever think about me?

You know I'm allergic to dust.

My John is broken.

No matter how many times I
jiggle, it won't stop running.

Why doesn't anybody
take care of these things?

I can't live in this squalor.

I'll have the John fixed.

But there's no dust,
and you're not allergic.

You've just got a bad
conscience about Bones.

Stella, she wouldn't
even come up for lunch.

(Bones)
Please tell me,
why after winning 4 Emmy's

I'm still having to chase
after panelists for a talk show?

Well, screw Gore Vidal.

How about that guy
that wrote Cat's Watch?

Steven Routledge.
Oh, you're going to love this.

Mr. Routledge doesn't
do talk shows.

A guy with an off-off
Broadway show

with an Arab terrorist hero?

Get me his number.

'We're dicing on my career,
you understand?'

Course I understand,
Mr. Routledge.

Lot of people have that
feeling about talk shows.

The exposure is, uh, flagrant.

Remember what the Duchess of
Windsor once said to that woman

who remarked how vulgar it was
to wear diamonds at daytime?

'No.'

Duchess said, "Yes, that's
what I always thought

until I had them."
Ha ha ha.

Have you talked
to Monsieur Rossi, yet?

(Max)
'No.'

Well, do it, Max.
I've set up the meeting

with Mr. Berger for tomorrow
at 10 here. Okay?

[water gushing]

Coming here?
To the office?

Seymour Berger is coming
to my office?

I love it. Berger,
hat in hand. What a day!

Stella, when I started business,
Seymour Berger was royalty.

He wouldn't give me a job
bribing fire inspectors.

Now, I almost feel sorry
for the old bastard.

81 years old and out hustling
to save a fruitcake grandson.

It's heartbreakin'.

I'm sure you'll do
all you can to help.

Sure, I will.

Get me Rossi in Paris.

Tell Ben to go down to Chinatown

and pick out the best duck
they got plucked.

I'm cooking dinner for my baby.

* Nobody does it better *

* Makes me feel sad
for the rest *

Have you ever seen me
with my heels run down?

Get me a shopping bag
or something

I'll take these to my guy.

What would you do without me?
How about that shopping bag?

'My guy comes to the house.'

[music stops]

Come on, come on, come on.

Max, are you going
to California this week?

'Uh-huh.'

I got an appointment in the
morning with Seymour Berger.

He's comin' after me
to save the fruit.

- If you're off to California--
- For a couple of days.

- Let's clean the kitchen.
- They'll get it in the morning.

Who'd work if they have
to come into a filthy kitchen?

'It's not filthy.'

Dirty dishes
overnight is filthy.

* Nobody does it better *

* Makes me feel sad
for the rest *

* Nobody does it half.. *

What're you gonna tell
Old Seymour Berger?

That he sunk
International Pictures?

He hasn't brought a hit while
he's been head of production?

What that studio needs--

I'd cut up that pie
and peddle off the parts.

- I'm gonna bulldoze it.
- What?

I'm gonna bulldoze it and build
me a sports stadium instead.

Bulldoze what?

The studio,
International Pictures.

Watch out for
the garbage please.

What would I want
with a movie studio.

It came with a vending takeover
like a Cracker Jack prize.

Max, you must know
how much I want it.

Want what? I don't know
what you're talkin' about.

Sweetheart, I'm not gonna
hold onto that studio.

[glass breaks]

[water running]

You broke the glass.
Can you watch what you're doing.

Max, listen to me.
I worked over the figures.

I know how to restructure and
re-finance the production end.

I know inside of 2 years,
I can cut the capital debt--

The capital debt
of International Pictures, kid

is 172 million.

And the per annum interest
on 172 million comes to--

I'm talking about the
production end of the debt

and I do not need
an arithmetic lesson.

Well, you need some kind
of lesson, sweetheart.

How many times have
I told you that

the whole is usually worth
a lot less than the parts.

I divest. I can peddle
off two music companies

a record company,
a film service company

an equipment rental company,
a paper bag outfit.

Almost forgot,
Junior Jungleland.

Not talkin' about the baboon
end of the business--

The movie business
is all baboon business

except for the negatives.

The film library is the
only thing you hang on to.

I could sell it today
for a minimum 100 million.

Those negatives double
in value every twenty minutes.

'Plus you need nothing
in overhead.'

'Raking in the rentals.'

Remember the first law
of life, sweetheart.

Low overhead, high return.

Max, the action is all out
there, and I want the action.

I'm sick of TV. I've done it.
I wanna make movies.

Anybody wants to make movies
has no respect for money.

Max, I can turn
the studio around.

Stop laughing. I mean it.

Max, I've never asked
you for anything.

I'm asking you for this.

Give me a chance,
darling. Please.

You're not listening
to me, sweetheart.

The company's worth
more dead than alive.

Plus, it's an idiot
business for dingalings

and dreamers and idealists,
you know what I mean?

Bullshit! The movie business
is a business. An exciting one.

You just don't want me in it.

Sweetheart, it's a
locker room out there.

They'll cut you off
at the knees.

You know what happens
to broads out there?

- Over 20, you can't get laid.
- I expect I could get laid.

No female over 20 gets laid.

It's in the city charter.

Middle age for girls
starts at 24.

[sniggers]

You won't let me have the job
because you're afraid

if I pulled it off,
I wouldn't need you anymore.

That's it.
That's all it is.

Okay, sure.
Why not?

That's part of it.

I'm just an old guy
trying to hang in there.

Hoping to God he's not
over the hill.

I also don't want you hurt.

That's the reason
I'm getting rid of it

and that's the God's truth.

I love your earrings.

You like them?
You like the coral?

They're just like you.

- Pink and--
- Stop treating me like pussy.

You don't have to buy
off my abortions.

I'm not buying off anything.
I bought you the pieces

before I ever heard
what happened.

I was just going by Bulgari's,
and I saw the coral

and I said, "Hey, that's got
Bones' name on it."

Every time you feel guilty

some little trinket's
got my name on it.

Stop being guilty,
I don't need that weapon!

If you don't need it, why
announce you've been to Benecek

I mean after the fact!

A well-taken point.
My error.

They're very pretty.
Exactly what I deserve.

Thank you.

So what were you saying
about a sports stadium?

Well, Olympics or not,
LA's gonna need a stadium.

You see, honey, I got the land.

I finance with city bonds
and own the results.

'No taxes for 10 years.
It's beautiful. I love it.'

[sobbing]

It's Cathy, Miss Liberti.
Mr. Berger's here.

(Max)
Seymour.

Welcome. Welcome,
my old friend.

Come in. Come in.
How well you look.

It's a Gulbenkian.

You have here now,
at the office.

The Gulbenkian.

I admire it, Max.

I move it around a lot.

All over the house.
I bring it here.

Wherever I'm spending
the most time.

This week, I'm clocking
a lot of office hours.

I want it with me wherever.

I understand the Metropolitan
was discussing a deal.

No way.

Well, if you ever should
decide to sell...or trade.

Never. But if
I did, Seymour

not to a museum, only to you.

Only to you.
Come, sit down.

Sit on the couch.
What can I get you?

Coffee? tea? Anything you want.
Piece of coffee cake?

Piece of fruit? How about
a nice fresh piece of fruit?

Fruit is fibrous, Max.

After 60, you help
yourself to fruit

you help yourself
to a slow death

by the colon.

Believe me.

For this consultation,
no charge.

It's not the latest
thinking, Seymour.

The latest thinking is
to stimulate the colon.

Fibers is the name of the game.
Fibers, bran, lots of bran.

Keep the colon punching.
That's the latest thinking.

I see we have
conflicting philosophies

in regard
to the colon. Ha ha.

A glass of tea, huh?

Don't be shy, Seymour.

I know you didn't come here
to talk porcelain and colons.

We're very old friends.

Just tell me what you want.

Max, you and I,
we always have the best.

We are men of position
in the community.

We have the power to do
something for the community.

We have taken a lot
out of the city.

'It's time we put
something back.'

[wind howling]

(Seymour)
'Mount Gilead Hospital.'

What?

Mount Gilead Maximillian
Herschel Memorial Wing

for special diseases.

Special diseases?

Hospital wing
for special diseases.

Maximillian Herschel
Memorial Wing, Max.

It is a big memorial
to a big man.

All this kind of
puzzles me, Seymour.

How so?

I'm surprised you're
worrying about memorials

to Max Herschel
when you should be worrying

how to save your grandson
at International.

My Mikey?
He's a young man.

He must look after
himself out there.

This is not my business,
Max, not with you.

My business with you is
a wing for special diseases.

I don't believe you're not even
gonna try to save the boy.

- Save your own name.
- My name is good.

The picture business is
like any other business.

You must understand the numbers.

Unfortunately, the boy
has no head for numbers.

I must tell you, this boy
is a great disappointment to me.

No great-grandchildren.

The end of the line.

My Marsha does not know
another lady..

...that has a pansy grandson.

So now, we talk
about memorial, huh?

"My Marsha does not know another
lady that has a pansy grandson."

I swear to God,
that's what he said

the cold-blooded old son
of a bitch. You gotta love him.

New tip tanks.

- Ha ha ha.
- What're you thinking?

Those poor bastards
with special diseases

dying like flies in my wing.

Are you going to give it?
The wing?

Sure, it's good
for leverage later on.

I'll be back from
California Thursday night.

Give Bones a call.
Check her out.

She's a little down.

I'm not worried
about her or anything.

She's just a little down.

Miss Burton, I really do
appreciate this ambience.

Especially your company,
the superior grub

but the answer is still no.

I cannot sit in front of your
TV camera and twinkle on cue.

It's only a matter of time
before you twinkle.

- But Miss Burton..
- How are you? Call me, right?

We both know I'm gonna be
a very big deal and--

You look beautiful.

And in two or three years,
you are gonna eat me alive.

So what I'd like to do
right now, for the time being

if you don't mind, I'd just
like to do my work. Period.

If you like, we could have
coffee and brandy at my place.

[soft music]

- Sheeler?
- Yes.

And that was a Demuth
in the hall, wasn't it?

- Yes.
- You collect precisionists?

- Do you admire them?
- Not really.

You do, really.

Ah, too many gears
and gas tanks for me.

For most.

- 'Coffee?'
- Hmm, you know what I'd like?

I'd like a tour...
of the working girl's pad.

Why, Miss Jones,
you're beautiful.

Well, now, this is
the living room.

China cupboard given by the
Prince of Morocco to Charles II.

Brighton Pavilion,
Holland for the Prince Regent.

Dining room.

(Bones)
Library, books, you know.

Now, this is my bedroom.

- Dressing room, bath.
- Super bed.

- Really super.
- 'You like it?'

I made it in camp.

I've been redecorating,
that French collection seemed

a little stale,
so it stays in the warehouse.

I've never been out with a girl
who had a collection.

Would it be too crass
to enquire what it's worth?

The stuff in the warehouse is
probably worth about a million

maybe a little less,
the market's low on French.

Still.

If fine furniture
and objet interest you.

- They don't.
- I thought not.

'Look, Miss Burton, if I've
said anything to offend you.'

Yeah, you said
everything to offend me.

[sighs]

Well, I'm at a loss.
How do I entertain you?

[gasps]

Have you got daytime diamonds?

Pretty but not major.

Do you really wear
all this stuff?

I used to.

Why nothing major?
Because it annoys Herschel?

Like, like the precisionists

Max Herschel collects the most
austere oriental porcelain.

His collection
of French paintings include

impressionists,
post-impressionists

no one minor to Seurat,
and here you are with Demuth.

(Steven)
Man with those tastes would
despise Demuth and that gang.

What do you..
What do you do?

Make him give them
to you to tease.

You're very knowing

and Mr. Herschel does not
give interviews ever

about his collections
or anything else

(Bones)
and his dealers don't talk,
nor his associates

nor his friends,
nor anyone who works for him.

Especially anyone
who works for him.

So how come you know so much
about Mr. Herschel's tastes?

I used to teach at BU with his
son-in-law, Stan Mundchen.

Baby's husband.

- Do you know Baby?
- Yes, nice girl.

Thank you for the evening.

It's late, and I know
you keep office hours.

Come on, I'll show to the door.
The car must be waiting.

[instrumental music]

I, uh..

I have a farm in Vermont.

I'm driving up on Friday.

I was thinking of getting
out of town this week

but I wanted to leave
on Thursday.

Thursday it is.

'I'll call you.'

[helicopter blades whirring]

(male #1)
'Yeah.'

[whistling]

'One hour for lunch!
One hour.'

Excuse me, could you tell me
where Mike Berger's office is?

Mmm, who's Mike Bergers?

Come in, Max, come in.
What a wonderful surprise.

You must have something with us.

Miss Hoffman, for Mr. Herschel,
a piece of fruit.

What a surprise, Seymour.

Out here on a visit?

I actually need to fix him up
one of these starlets.

- Haven't you heard?
- What should I hear I haven't.

Well, I think what Mikey
means is about California.

Marsha and I, we're Californians
now, and we are near to Mikey.

You mean you and Marsha
moved out here to California?

Why would you do that?

Oh, California has lots of,
uh, restless real estate

Very interesting turnover.

Of course, Mikey and I
put our heads together

from time to time,
don't we, Mikey?

We sure do, big dad.

What can I do for you,
Mr. Herschel?

Oh, I just happened to be
in the neighborhood.

I thought I'd look
the property over.

The box office on The Loneliest
Night doesn't look too good.

Leave it to the great unwashed,
little disappointing.

Considering all
the talent we put in it.

Not to mention all the millions.

Oh, I think Mikey made a mistake
with The Loneliest Night.

It's so special.

So, uh...so what else is new?

You might be interested to hear
about a deal I just consummated.

- Who with?
- Cosmos.

You made a deal with Cosmos?
With Sandy Sackman?

(Mike)
'Mr. Sackman made International
Pictures a very nice offer'

which I decided not to refuse.

Mr. Sackman and I signed
the papers yesterday.

(Max)
'You sold Sandy
Sackman something?'

I sold him 200
of our old negatives.

Negatives? International
Picture negatives?

(Max)
'My negatives?'

You sold Sackman my negatives
for Cosmos release.

That's right.
I liked the deal.

Without consulting me?

Sandy Sackman will chew
the ass-end off a ragdoll

much less a grandson.

What has he given
away to Sackman?

- 'Please, Mr. Herschel.'
- 'What you did, sonny boy..'

...you handed Sandy Sackman,
my vigorish.

Gonif!

Swindler!

I'm gonna break
your back for this.

You knew I was dumping
the studio, don't deny it.

Goddamn felon.
You go to Danbury.

Misappropriations.
You'll get five to seven.

You and this
little snake in together

side by side, both of you,
working the laundry.

(Mike)
Please, Mr. Herschel--

You don't say a word,
you accessory. You're fired.

Get out of my studio.
Empty your desk, asshole.

You finally did it, you..

Well, this time,
I'm gonna ruin you.

You and this fucking fruit loop.

Did you get that, Miss Hoffman?

(Miss Hoffman)
'"You're fired.
Get out of the studio.'

'Empty your desk, asshole."'
Is that what you wanted, sir?

Yes, that'll do, Miss Hoffman.

You're fired too, Miss Hoffman.

'Thank you.'

I think any court
would regard your action

as a termination of my contract
which, as I'm sure you know

'still has 20 months to go.'

'I intend to hold you to the
full amount of its terms.'

- Right, big dad.
- That's right, Mike.

Roughly 482,500.

[chuckles]

He's got a desk waiting
at Cosmos, right?

This is a set-up.

You gave my negatives to Cosmos.

Please, Max.
For a fair market price.

You got me to fire him

so he could collect
on his contract here

and then move straight
over to Cosmos. Right?

Plus, I'd bet 50 cents,
that's if I had 50 cents left

that Mikey's gonna pick up
a yearly bonus of 50 percent

as a finder's fee.
Right, big dad?

Everybody wants my Mikey.

What do you think?

You're whacked out of your nut?

Why the hell would I wanna
go back to school?

'I've got a career.'

I meet everybody, actors.

I've met Warren Beatty,
Telly Savalas.

You are wrong about
not going back to school.

- You're crazy.
- No, no, I mean it.

Bright kid like you.

In New York,
it was only freezing.

Just stay bundled up like that

because it's colder
than hell in here.

I'll get a fire going.

You get the active
solar units installed

you'll never have to come
into this kind of cold.

It's beautiful.

We'll go upstairs
by the scenic route.

I hope Mrs. Schmersky
got up there with a broom.

- Broom?
- 'Yeah.'

All the electricity is
provided by the windmill

and stored in old
airplane batteries.

A vacuum cleaner uses roughly
600 watts of electricity.

Run it for half an hour,
that's enough power

to make three pots of coffee

or light a 60-watt bulb
for five hours

(Steven)
or heat a couple of
five-gallon...tanks of water.

But...you can waste all
the hot water you want

once I get the solar
units installed.

How much water can
I waste tonight?

'In the tub,
a couple of inches.'

Save you bath till
bedtime, however.

You'll wanna go to bed warm.
Else, you'll freeze all night.

So, no vacuum cleaner

No dish washer and..

...no garbage disposal.

Instead of a garbage disposal,
we have hardy appetites.

You mean, we eat the garbage?

'I save the choice bits
for my compost pit.'

God, how I wanted
to be a Mouseketeer.

- Yeah?
- Mm-hmm.

When I was 11, I lit
out for California.

Got all the way to Tucson
before they caught me

and shipped me home
in a Trailways bus.

I didn't get away
again till I was 15.

What happened when you were 15?

Well, my mother fell for this
bum who was always after me.

So she scraped together
the money, kissed me off

said the time had come for me
to make as a Mouseketeer.

Two years later, I met Max.

And it's been love
in a cottage ever since.

Works for me.

And I'm sure for him.

Quid pro quo makes
the world go around.

Listen, when I'm with Max,
I don't just close my eyes

and think of England.
I like it with Max.

Somebody should tell
younger men about older men.

Look, he's rich,
he's powerful, he adores me.

He's wonderful to me, he's fun.

He's exciting in every way.

Then, you've got it made.

Listen..

I'll go...make you
a hot water bottle

'and...why don't you go
take a bath'

'and then get in bed real fast
before you cool off'

'I'll bring that hot water
bottle up to you.'

No, no, no. I said get in bed
while you're still warm.

What's the problem?

[sighs]

Well, the problem is..

...I don't know
why you asked me here

and I don't know why I came.

Well...I'll tell you.

'What?'

You are very attractive.

[instrumental music]

Also..

...I figured this was
as close as a guy like me

would ever get to screwing
a guy like Max Herschel.

So what is this number
about hot water bottles

in separate bedrooms
and put downs?

I figure it would be
even sweeter

if I could make
Herschel ask for it.

When is she coming back?

She's not gonna be there
all weekend, is she?

- She didn't say.
- She didn't leave a number?

No number.

Leave a mop without a number.

That's ridiculous
on the face of it.

What a couple of days, Stella.
Beyond belief.

Could you believe
the guts of those two?

That broken-down old conman
and his descendant.

Stealing from me.
Tying up my negatives.

They even dribbled off
the in-flight and cable rights.

That, they sold to themselves.

Can you prove
they sold it to themselves?

I can't prove it, but I know it.

They made a deal with some
distributor in New Jersey.

Now, who the hell
lives in New Jersey?

I'll tell you who lives
in New Jersey.

Cousins live in New Jersey.

'Did you see
the trade this morning?'

Mike Berger's made new chief
of production at Cosmos.

I'll tell what you do.
Send Mike a nice plant.

Something substantial and a good
pot, three-four hundred dollars

say, "congratulations
and best wishes in your new job"

some shit like that.

When you get
the Berger's attended to

get busy and track down Bones.

- Oh, Max.
- 'Can find her if you try.'

Call every number in Vermont.

How many numbers
can there be in Vermont?

Did you look at this?
115 over 80.

- I'll outlive all of you.
- Congratulations.

Come on.

Come on.

[chuckling]

Don't, don't give up.

Why don't you stop kidding
yourself? You hate him.

[both laughing]

- Eat.
- You eat. Eat for daddy.

Well, look Stan,
I'm eating for you.

Hi, daddy. Want a
little second hand egg?

Ah, nyum, nyum, nyum.

What's up?

A call from your mother,
she won't be in until tomorrow

just in time for the party.

If I guarantee she'll be
a wreck, right?

Oh, Stan.

- Where you're off to?
- Meeting Bones at Hallston.

They're doing a before
and after on me again.

How's tricks.

Oh, daddy, daddy. New baby
is teaching herself to read.

Tell granddad the word
you spelled out this morning.

Come on, tell grandpa
the new word you learned.

Excellent.

[laughing]

What was she reading,
The Decline of the West?

Listen, I gotta go, kids.

Just call Mrs. Clarke
when you want to dump. Hm?

You ready for the torture?
You ready for the..

[kissing repeatedly]

- My ear.
- My ear?

[both laughing]

You call that a weekend?

Five days in Vermont
without a phone?

I couldn't tell you
what Berger pulled on me.

Small potatoes.

Small potatoes.
But my potatoes.

Why don't you eat?

Max, there's a talented young
writer named Steven Routledge.

I'd like to bring him
to Baby's party.

I've been trying to get him
for my show.

Sure. It's okay with me.
How young?

- Very.
- Great.

That's the whole idea,
sweetheart. A kitty party.

Mrs. Herschel is here.

Sweetheart,
you look sensational.

Max. I don't believe
you've met..

I'm Dr. Coleson. Mrs. Herschel
felt that I should--

I told Mrs. Swanson
to put me on the third floor.

Dr. Coleson as well.

(Max)
Sure, sweetheart.
In case you need him.

Ask Ted if there is
anything you want.

- He'll get anything you need.
- Thank you.

Dinner is at eight, doctor.
Just the family and a few kids.

The dancing girls come in
around 10:30.

By the way, did anybody remember
to bring the meringues?

Yes, I did, Mr. Herschel.

Two dozen.
I'll give them to the boy.

We'll never know
with all the work he's doing.

Beware of all enterprises
that require new clothes.

Thoreau.

Hello.

Fancy meeting you, dear.

- Hello, I'm Max Herschel.
- How do you do? Steven.

I don't know if Bones told you.
I'm a great admirer of yours.

Couple of questions
I'd like to ask you.

Maybe later, you'd save me
a Waltz. Let's have a drink.

Child molester.

[indistinct chattering]

I only hope I look that good

after I've been drunk
for 20 years.

[chattering continues]

Oh-oh. She's off
the leash tonight.

- Is she alright?
- Sound asleep.

I'm awfully sorry,
Mr. Herschel.

I, uh, couldn't stop her
drinking without a scene.

Believe me, doctor,
I-I know the drill.

(Max)
Why don't we get
a breath of air?

Connie only tanks up publicly

when she is trying
to tell me something.

What do you think
she was trying to?

(Max)
That she'd rather be
in Peabody with the loonies

than here at home with me.

- Oh, we don't refer to--
- An old message, doctor.

You know, what I figure,
it's you she'd rather be with.

Understandable..

...but not acceptable.

Regardless of what
Connie may have told you

in your professional
capacity, of course

I do not wish to get rid of her.

So Ben here will drive you
to the airport

and Bud will fly you
to Peabody alone.

Your bag's are in the trunk,
and that's your coat.

There's anything you care
to eat or drink

Bud will have it on the plane.
Don't worry.

Yes, but Connie--

You can send the stuff back
with Bud.

I appreciate everything
you've tried to do for Connie.

Everything.

You did a great job
with the meringues.

[car starts]

[thumps on car]

- Dr. Coleson.
- 'Yes.'

There's a writing pad
and a pen in front of you.

'Mr. Herschel thought
you might want to'

'write a farewell note.
You know, to Mrs. Herschel.'

- 'Get Moe. He wants to walk.'
- I just gave him a walk.

But not on a leash,
Once a day on the leash.

[jazz music]

Steven.
You are not dancing.

Why don't we get
a breath of air?

I gotta walk the dog.

You know your play
was fantastic.

I loved it.

That scene in the second act,
near the end

where the girl refuses to cry.
Well, it made me cry.

You're one hell of a playwright.

Oops! Excuse me.
Pardon me.

[music continues]

Must have got a lot
of bids then. Oops!

Will you come over here
and behave yourself?

Num, num, num.

He flunked out of obedience
school three times.

Irish idiot, cost daddy
a bundle, didn't you?

Very expensive baby. Mwah!

Excuse me. Excuse me.
May I try, Mr. Herschel?

- Max.
- Okay, Moe.

Come on, now.

Let's try to heel.

Heel, Moe.

Will you look at that?

Steven, I think you
were born to command.

You must have a lot of movie
bits for your play.

Nobody seems to want
to make a movie

from the terrorist's
point of view.

Really? That was the angle
that interested me.

Why did you pick it?

I write about people. I'm not
really interested in politics.

That's good.
That's good.

It was a hell of a play,
it'd make a good movie.

Controversial, very exciting.
I'm really dumbfounded.

that you haven't had
any movie bids?

I got one nibble from
an independent producer

a man named Raskin, Jules
Raskin. Ever hear of him?

No.

He took me to lunch
a couple of times

to tell me how he was going
to handle the property.

So what happened?

So I guess he ran out
of lunch money.

Have you talked
movie with Bones?

She doesn't think
terrorists are commercial.

Also, she thinks the story
is too subjective.

Bones is a good TV producer.

But movies, she doesn't
know tit from twat.

Don't quote me.
I'm no expert either.

I've done alright in a lot
of different fields

by going with my instinct.

What I'd like to do, Steven,
with your permission, naturally.

I'd like to send your play to a
couple of guys. Professionals.

Men whose opinions
you can respect.

Not crapshooters
or fans like me.

What do you say?

And what can I do for you?

I'll think of something.

Actually, he's pretty
goddamn disarming.

You talk about snake oil
salesmen and farmer's daughter.

He had my skirt up over my head

before we got past
to ask for distress.

He's not subtle

but he's swift.

But you know..

...I think he
really liked the play.

- He hasn't even seen your play.
- Yeah. Sure he has.

- He discussed it in detail.
- Then, he sent Stella.

Max doesn't sit through plays.

Why would he lie?

He was trying to soften you up.
He took the foolproof route.

Max Herschel who doesn't know
tit from twat about books

or plays and movie says,
"You're a great writer.

How would you like
to be in the movies"

and you just rolled over.

He set out to make you
look like a turkey to me.

And succeeded.

Well...thanks for the evening.

Thank Max.

Yeah, I'll write
him a nice note.

I'll thank him for everything.

Steven!

I do not belong to Max Hershel.

Oh, yes, you do, lady.
You're a gangster's moll

and you're scared to death
of that bastard.

[chuckles]
Afraid of Max, me?

Hell yes, afraid!
And hung up

and dependent and manipulated.

What to do you want me to do?
Hang on to your goddamn knees?

No. I want you
to get off yours.

[clattering]

'Good morning, sweetheart.'

I see you got
Dr. Coleson's note.

[laughs]

I can't stay in this house.

I want a doctor.

Get me a doctor..

[sobbing continues]

(Max)
Come on, Connie.
Come on.

Here we go, sweetheart.

(Max)
Beats me how you look like a kid
at 10 o'clock in the morning.

- What's up?
- Want to talk about Steven.

Yeah. Steven.

Baby warned me I'm
in a rumble seat.

So you're in love.
It happens.

What the hell! Shack up,
if that's want you want.

'Sweetheart, just tell
me what you want?'

It's yours.
Just tell me.

I got married this morning.

Don't worry about it.

We'll get it annulled.

(Max)
Nothing to it.

It's done. Just accept it.

Sweetheart, you're making
a pretty bad mistake.

I've always let you
play Mrs. In-charge

without you having
to carry the real weight.

The boy won't give you that,
sweetheart. He'll expect things.

(Bones)
He'll expect me to love him.

He's not like you, Max.
He's very different from you.

From us.

He's different.

How different?

He's better.

You better run along, darling.
I've got some calls to make.

We're going away for a few days.
I'll call you when we get back.

You'll feel better
about everything.

I feel fine. What's okay
with you is okay with me.

All that matters
is you're happy.

'Hello, Charlie.
Max here.'

See ya!

What's happening with
that block of buildings?

In Albany.

[crying loudly]

[crying continues]

My God, Max. What..

Oh, with that Jew.

She got married.
She married that fuck.

He's different.
He's better.

No, Max, no!

Okay, okay, okay.

Take some notes.

One, her stuff in storage

call a moving truck immediately.

Pack up the works and ship it
to my Queens' warehouse.

Tell Burton to put
the stuff in his name.

Two, Burton Productions. I got
a $70,000 loan outstanding

which I never called in.

That loan's convertible
into 900 shares

in current market value.

Roughly, a million-two..

Forget the goodwill
'cause I'm not selling.

Call Burty and tell him
he just attended

a board of directors' meeting.

He voted with me.

What are you gonna
give her for her share?

This!

Max, you couldn't.

Never tell me couldn't.

'She'll sue.'

What with?

Call Burty and tell him
to lay writ of attachment

and a restraining order
against sale of the apartment

or any of its contents.

Because we are taking
out a stock hold

with derivative
action against her

malfeasance at office.

- You know better than that.
- So what?

We'll tie up her assets,
if she can find any.

If she could scrape
up the lawyer's fees

she'll win the case eventually.

But in the meantime..

...just for fun,
we'll clear the building.

Get in touch with
Elder And Green

that's the outfit
that manages Bones' building.

I know who Elder And Green
are. Now, just rein in a minute.

You're gonna regret this.
I won't help you do it.

- I thought you liked your job.
- Not to this extent.

- The option's yours, kid.
- Max, you've won the fight.

Now, you're just punishing
the referee. I know--

You just shut up
and listen to me, Stella!

I'll tell you what you know!

You tell Elder And Green
I'll buy any two apartments

in that building at any price.

The only requisite being,
I want immediate title.

The present owners can stay
in at their convenience.

[shouting]
But I want title!

After we play out the strings
with the lawyers.

And if I still want to

I can blackball anybody she
tries to sell the apartment to.

The maintenance
on that pad is 4,000 a month.

I'll tell you something else,
those lousy paintings of us

when she tries
to sell 'em, Gornisht!

She collected 'em to bug me.
Just something else to bug me.

Junk, like the coral,
the lapis and the cabochons

and the rest
of the crap she wears.

Wears to bug me. So, she
wound up screwing herself.

Just another ass-smart broad.
I wasted 14 years of my life.

Oh, my God.

Close down all the store
and restaurant accounts.

Cut off all the garages.

Almost forgot, she's got those
bearer bonds, where are they?

- I said where're they?
- In Zurich, in your box.

Where they'd be safe you said.

Uh-huh, I was right again.

What's the name of that kid
downstairs? Her TV assistant?

- 'Mark, Mark Gosse.'
- That's him, Mark.

Call him on the phone.

Tell him he's the new president.

Find out his favorite colors.

And send in the decorators.

Sweetheart, when
I come in tomorrow

I'm gonna get off
on the 29th floor.

Gonna step out of the elevator
and I'm gonna look around.

Wherever I look, what I don't
want to see is that cunts name.

Everything is going to work out
just fine, darling.

Said the elephant
as he danced among the chickens.

[doorbell ringing]

Max, Max.

[doorknob rattling]

Shit! I know he's in this house.
Where's he? Answer me, Stella.

Bones, he's not
going to see you.

You might as well get
used to it. Now, settle down.

- He had my name scraped off.
- I know, he was just so hurt.

He robbed the warehouse. Did you
know he robbed the warehouse?

Give him a chance to cool down--

Don't you understand what
he's done? He's stripped me.

He's stolen my bonds,
he's taken everything.

Oh, honey.

You had to know
what he was doing.

I tried everywhere to find you.

I came damn near quitting, until
I realized that if I stayed

I might be able to..

My God! Bones, you couldn't.

Don't you ever
tell me, couldn't.

[crashing]

You give Max a message for me
the next time you talk to him.

Tell him when I find him
I'm going to kill him.

[sighs]

Here.

(male #1)
'Your floor, Ms. Burton.'

- Who are you?
- Dugan, security.

Security for whom?

I was to see that nothing
goes up. No contents.

I see, does that
include my douche bag.

Personal effects, that's okay.

There's just furniture
and pictures I gotta protect.

'Stuff like that.'

(Steve)
'Never mind.'

Hi. Where you been?
I've been trying to call you.

I got the bags all..

Oh.

[crying]

(Steve)
It's after two.

[clears throat]
Oh, I'm sorry, baby.

I thought you heard me.

What's the matter?
Can't you sleep?

No.

Here, something
to calcify your bones.

Wha-what were you brooding
about when I came in?

- Remember Nixon's enemy list?
- Uh-huh.

What I never could figure out
is why it was so short?

- You thinking about Max again.
- No, you're thinking about Max.

Can you just forget about him?

I will, if you will.

I don't think about Max.

I've 1,000 other things
to think about.

Like...resuming my life
and getting work

maybe having to start all over
again from damn near scratch.

- Steven.
- 'Hm?'

This novella. I think it'll
make a wonderful movie.

Yeah?

Go back to bed.

I'm gonna make fudge.

'It is two in the morning.'

I know, I'm gonna make it.

I'm gonna save it for breakfast.

All I want is a little lick.

I'm gonna take care
of you, sweetheart.

Send you to school.
Fix your teeth.

Oh, yes? I graduated second
in my high school class.

I want to do something
with my life.

Be something.

I loved working at Herschel.

I mean, working
for you, Mr. Herschel.

Please, darling. Max.

Thank you. It's fascinating.

I mean, I've really learned
a lot in the office.

But I want to
really do something.

What you interested
in, sweetheart?

Oh, everything.

Art, French, his-history.
I'm very good at math.

- Economics.
- Economics?

Yeah. Sure, so I can
understand you.

I don't care where
you send me to school

just so it's right here
in New York, where you are, Max.

[laughs]

- 'Standby to roll tape.'
- 'Roll D-5, please.'

'Roll tape.'

[beeping]

'Standby.'

- 'Stopwatch, take one.'
- 'Five seconds.'

- 'Ready.'
- 'Announce.'

- 'And cue announce.'
- Sorry, I'm late.

- 'This is Stopwatch.'
- Kill the audio, Charlie.

- Why so nervous, Jim?
- Nervous?

I'm not nervous, I'm just
sorry that we can't, uh..

I wish I had something
for you, Bones, I really do.

Hell, I know what happened
with Herschel, it stinks.

I'm blackballed, right?

Oh, my God, no.

I swear...not at this network.

And not any place I know about.

Honest to God.

Look, you come up with an idea
that's right for us

and we'll jump
like hungry trout.

How would you like a story
on Herschel Industries?

'On Mr. Herschel Industries?'

Very much.

The media has never been
able to lay a glove on him.

Those bloody
employee agreements.

Yeah, the agreements.

So, who could talk?

Who would talk?

Listen, I'll be in New York
by tomorrow afternoon.

Now, hold on to yourself,
we're going to California.

(Bones)
'California?'

Yeah, wait till you
hear what happened.

Remember I told you
about Julie Raskin?

- 'Who?'
- 'Raskin.'

'The man who wanted to make
a movie out of Cat's Watch.'

I don't believe you.

I know you don't believe it.

- Which studio?
- 'Cosmos.'

What? What's funny?

God.

God is funny...and good.

When do you go
and how long do you stay?

I-I go tomorrow morning.
I stay until I deliver.

Three weeks for the treatment.
Three months for the screenplay.

Why do you have
to write out there?

Well, Julie wants me to.
I'll need guidance.

The movie business
may be harder than it looks

from the orchestra
of Cinema 1 and Cinema 2.

It's not going to be easy to
make a movie out of that play

it might be even
a little lunatic to try.

Now, honey, I know that you
don't agree with Cosmos

on my little epic,
but...it's Cosmos's money, okay?

- Okay.
- Okay.

I'm gonna miss you.

Are you deranged?
You're going with me.

No, I don't think so.
Not for a while, anyway.

I've had this idea for a project

it's nothing big, but I think
I'll do it if I can.

I don't wanna talk about it now.

Listen, Flora, I know
you're a great agent.

- But don't be too great.
- 'I'll have to get 10,000.'

I'm offering you 7,500,
that's what I've got.

'I couldn't face myself
in the morning--'

Who else has even made
an offer on the story?

It was published in 1970,
it's a dead issue except to me.

Don't kill
the only deal you've got

by asking for 2,500
more than I've got.

$7,500, okay?

- 'I'm gonna regret this.'
- Love you, Flora.

Send me the papers
and I'll send you the check.

Don't wiggle.

California, here I come.

[honking]

[beeping]

- Hello--
- 'Oh, my God.'

[clattering]

Get out!

[woman screaming]

[customers screaming]

- Get her off!
- Oh, my God!

Ah!

- Ah!
- 'Oh, my God.'

[clatters]

[alarm blaring]

Get up, Max.

[Bones grunts]

How do you get out
of this place?

[glass shattering]

[Max screaming]

[crowd screaming]

[Bones grunting]

(Bones)
Let go of me.

[screaming continues]

- Let go of me. Let go of me.
- Open the goddamn door!

Open the goddamn door!

- The goddamn door!
- Okay, okay.

Open that door,
you son of a bitch.

[engine revving]

Open it. Open it.

[tires screeching]

[crowd screaming]

[honking]

[crowd cheering]

[panting]
Steve, darling...tomorrow.

What time? When, what flight?
I'll be there with mariachis.

United, flight three.

'You're gonna be just
in time for the party.'

- What kind of a party?
- 'A party for me, here.'

A party at Mike Bergers?

Alright, I'll
pack something shiny.

'Steve, I bought that novella,
what to you think?'

'Shall I bring it to Cosmos?'

I say, why not, Berger's a savvy
guy, I think you'll like him.

Steve, I love you.

[laughing]

Don't get me wrong,
I love your project.

It's just my meat and I
could write the hell out of it.

I just don't see why
I should cut my price?

What the hell do you care anyway

it's a Cosmos development,
isn't it?

Ah, I haven't set anything, yet.

Really? I thought
this...party was for you.

No, it's for..

[Bones laughs]

...my husband,
if it's for anybody.

Coffee break.

* Things go better with coke *

But it makes you feel
so goddamn guilty.

Don't I know? We all
feel guilty at first.

(Mike)
Hi.

- Did you get a brandy?
- No.

You sure you won't
be chilly out here?

No.

I was just telling Steve.

The hardest thing
about California

you getting over being
ashamed of loving it.

How you doing with Lothar?

I thought you should sit next
to him. Does he like your story?

So he claims, but I don't
think I can afford him.

He's a skilled craftsman, that's
what you need for your property.

- I read it.
- Did you?

It should make a charming show.

Small of course, difficult
to cast. Nothing for stars.

Of course, that's where you
independents have it on studios.

'It's your money and you take
whatever risks you deem fit.'

I on the other hand have to
answer to a board of directors.

Not to mention stockholders.

Heigh-ho!

In other words, this isn't
anything that Cosmos

would be interested
in developing?

You got a property that should
be developed independently.

It's your vision, your baby,
it should be done your way.

- Bye.
- Goodnight.

Then...when you got it
set up the way you want it

the right way.

Then you go in
and make one of us

pay through the nose
to distribute.

Alright?

Your talented husband is going
to turn in a beautiful script.

When he does, he's gonna
have to make a decision.

What's that?

He'll have to decide
whether to go back to New York

and dump on the picture
with the classic cry

"It's being handled by animals."

Or...or you can do
what the big ones do.

Accept the fact that movies are

and always will be
a collaborative form.

What am I supposed to do
that I'm not doing?

It's not what you're
not doing now.

It's what you won't be doing
if you leave your script..

...in Julie's hands.

And whose hand should
I leave it?

Steve, you've got very clear
production ideas.

'Original casting notions.'

Julie..

Well, let's just say that...
Julie is a man in his late 50's

with absolutely no track record.

(male #5)
'We're waiting in the
projection booth, Mr. Berger.'

(Mike)
'Don't think the director,
whomever we wind up with'

'won't need your input.'

'The best movies are the
result of ongoing dialogue'

'between writer and director.'

(Steve)
'I thought directors couldn't
wait to get rid of writers.'

(Mike)
Not the good ones.
But aside from that.

I'd like to see you stay
with the picture, co-produce

with Julie or possibly
without him.

(Steve)
I don't know a goddamn thing
about producing.

(Mike)
Sure you do. Producing
is just dealing with people.

We better get downstairs

or we'll miss the beginning
of the picture.

Dealing with people
and understanding

that most people
you have to deal with

are defective by definition.

Now, this picture
is a $13 million disaster.

Cost almost as much
as it's costing me

to redecorate this house.

Terrible script.

Now, what you've got
going for you, Steve

you're that rare bird we don't
often get in this business.

An artist who is also an adult.

Bones.

[guests chattering]

You'll make wonderful movies
if you have the courage

to put yourself on the line.
Underwrite your own product--

Mike, you didn't tell me
Stevie's wife was so gorgeous.

Nice kid.

Welcome to the Hoot Gibson room.
Isn't this sweet?

Michael, this is Steven. And..

[men laughing]

(Mike)
'Coke.'

[rattling]

(male #5)
'Comstock's Raiders,
reel one.'

[drum beats]

How does it feel being 21?

Oh, Max.

I never should've accepted
such an expensive present.

Let me tell you
something, sweetheart

you never get poor from taking.

[explosion on TV]

[crickets chirping]

[gunshots on TV]

(man on TV)
'We've got our search party
in there now.'

[explosion on TV]

[gunshots on TV]

[gunshots continue]

For me...this is the only
beautiful thing

in the whole house.

Mr. Berger?

'You are quite right.'

Of course, you're
Max Herschel's little friend.

'Ah, Burton, am I correct?'

Yes, you are. But I'm
Mrs. Routledge now.

Routledge?
Yes, I know that name.

- Writer?
- 'Playwright.'

I apologize for coming
in here like this, Mr. Berger.

You saw the vase.

Life is full of surprises.

I never thought
Max would part with it.

Never.

How long have you had it?

Well...six, eight weeks.
We made a deal.

I don't sleep so good anymore.

It's nice to have company.

'I was so sick
you wouldn't believe.'

My wife...did you hear?

My Marsha?

Died.

A month ago.

I'm sorry, Mr. Berger.

You're not half
as sorry as me, my dear.

My Marsha.

She's in the vase.

What?

My Marsha is in the Gulbenkian.

'I got there just in time.'

'My wife died very suddenly.'

Was very sudden.
It was a terrible shock.

Out here in California. So..

They carted me out to Cedars.

Kidney failure, they said.

Broken heart is the truth.

"You can't travel," they said.

"Here you are
and here you stay."

"Then I want my Marsha
with me," I said.

'And I had them do it.'

I know this is against religion.

But I had them do it.

God couldn't understand that
I wanted my Marsha near me?

Of course, he could.

So I did it.

There she is.

My Marsha...in Max's Gulbenkian.

In my Gulbenkian.

'So, you are married.'

Nobody told me that
you married this playwright.

[laughs]

He writes very highbrow.

I read his play.

Not too highbrow
to make a movie.

Michael's bought it
for a movie you know.

Yeah, the boy...is artistic.

'You don't think Cat's Watch
will make a good movie?'

Who saves those cats?
Mrs. Cats.

[laughing]

What do I know about cats, huh?

Real estate, that I know.

I don't know what you know

but I do know what
you do, Mr. Berger.

Oh, what's that?

Control your grandson's
career, call the shots.

Who says? Max?

Is that what Max says, to you?

Max Herschel talks out of school
to a smart young lady.

Seymour Berger talks out
of school. You understand?

Now, your young fellow's
play is kids stuff.

It's a very fine play.

But you definitely
have to call it special.

But...you know
Max, huh?

Max is a very generous man.

You know he does not mind
spending a little money.

- He is very generous.
- Yes, very generous.

If it's something Max wants,
price is no object.

We both know that.
Nothing stops Max.

I just thought, you know,
that he wanted to help the boy.

Nobody told me
that you were married.

Are you saying that Max put up
the money to make this movie?

- All the money?
- All the money.

However, he even
makes for certain money

an arty picture with a PLO hero.

Does Cosmos tease his black eye?

Even Max puts up some money,
I must've checked

through this project.
You understand?

- Spell is out slowly.
- 'I am only human, my dear.'

You show me the man who
does not have his price.

I will show you the man
who never receives the offer.

Max gave you the vase...
to make this movie?

I don't believe you.

Give it? Max did not give
it to me. We made a deal.

The vase was part of the deal.

Now, I understand what it was.
It was for you.

'Why do you look surprised?
You shouldn't be.'

Max is a very sentimental man.

'He wants you to be happy.'

He wants your young man
to make a good living.

He wants my husband
to break his ass.

For such a bum thing
he would give me Gulbenkian?

I wouldn't believe that.

'He wanted only good
things for you, my dear.'

Well, that's it.
Isn't it?

I mean that's really it. That's
what you're trying to say.

[thud]

Open the goddamn door!

I mean that's really it.
That's what you wanna say.

That the only way Cats
can get produced

is through some kind of tax
swindle for Herschel Industries.

It's not a swindle.

It's just a setup to make
you look like a fool.

Goddamn it! Can't you
see Max has set you up?

Lady...you are embarked
on an ego trip to outer space!

Me? My God!

If you're gonna wash yourself
in that oily little poof

you're gonna fairy dust your way

and you'll lit up
like the aurora borealis.

[water splashing]

[knocking]

Okay, now you say
Julie Raskin works for Max.

Explain that to me step by step.

Julie Raskin's
a two bit operator

who probably covers every
off Broadway show that opens

looking for anything
he can hustle up cheap

hang up without pay and then
sell it to someone else.

He was hustling you
from the beginning.

Keeping you on hold while
he looked for a buyer.

Which he didn't find.

Then you told Max about him.
Max never forgets a name.

When you needed a handle,
he dug up Julie

and gave him a retainer.

Julie's job was to suck you into
Cosmos and then stick around

while you acquired
a taste for blood.

There is flat no way
that I can buy that.

- Not can't, won't.
- Listen, di..

Bones. Bones, listen to me.

Do you have any idea
how absurd that is?

And why Cosmos?
Why with old enemies?

Because they're his enemies.
He can trust them.

You just, you just can't
let him go, can you?

Steven, I have not
just let him go

I've dropped him down the well.

[water splashing]

Sure.

Yeah, but then all you
have to do is see that vase

or...well, whatever it is
or anything connected with Max

and then you're off
on another paranoid

fantasy filled--

It's not fantasy, believe me.
Max is in this.

What difference does it make
whether I believe it or not.

You believe it.
You believe in Oz.

And, uh..

...wizards and spells.

I'll tell you what I don't
believe in anymore.

I don't believe in knights
on white chargers.

[water dripping]

Scratch a lock..

What's that?

The man with his foot
on your back.

[door opens]

[Steve chuckles]

Oh, I see.

I'm a junior Max, huh?
Is that it?

Because I'm willing to unload
Julie Raskin off my movie?

That's my movie, Bones!

Julie's got the-the taste
and the finesse of a warthog.

No taste, Julie?

I thought he was Cat's
biggest fan.

Okay, so what?

You know, so I'm gonna
dump Julie.

Somebody and Max or whoever
I don't even care anymore

is giving me a chance
to make my movie here

and that's not a chance
I'm gonna pass up, sweetheart.

Don't call me sweetheart!

Oh, wait.

Wait.

See, where do we go?

What we got here are just
problems of perception.

Like I never claimed
to be Lochinvar.

- Yes, you did.
- No, no.

Bones, don't cry.

Nothing's really happened
here you see

you...you just saw that dumb
Chinese pot and freaked out.

That's all. There's nothing
here we can't fix.

That blonde at the party
you slept with her, didn't you?

Are you kidding? Of course,
I haven't slept with her.

- Swear?
- I swear.

[soft music]

[Bones sobbing]

(female announcer)
'Passengers for New York
on United Flight..'

But listen, dammit,
you just got here.

We've been all through this.
I wanna get rolling.

If I'm gonna buy the screenplay,
I've to sell the jewelry.

Well, sell it next week
for heaven's sake.

What?

I was just about to say
what a wonderful time I'd had.

[jazz music]

I'll call you Wednesday.
There were a couple of things.

- Kind of important.
- What?

(female announcer)
'Passengers for New York
on United Flight..'

I'll call you.

'...now boarding in gate 15.'

[music continues]

(Steve)
'Bones.'

Hey, Bones.

Give me a break here.
I'm only 29.

Hello, Bill, everything intact?

Yes, Mrs. Routledge.
Glad to see you back.

[keys clanging]

[jazz music]

Mike, would you go
in there and talk to her?

'Cause I don't think
she's gonna make it.

[Bones groaning]

She's scared out of her skull.
She's throwing up in the sink.

Bones, darling, you okay?
Come, come on. Come on.

Sit over here.
Hey, listen.

You have a responsibility here.
Not financial, moral.

Look, I felt you were bothered
by the questions having to do

with personal motives.

We don't have to go into that.
It's not important.

It isn't a show about you.

Just stick
to Herschel Industries, okay?

Bones, listen.

You're not just an interviewee.
You're producing this spot.

It'll be the way you want it
or it won't be anything, right?

(male #6)
'Stand by.'

(male #7)
'Stopwatch, take 7.'

Five seconds.

Mr. Herschel is famous
for not being famous.

No one in a position
to speak ever does.

By contract you say.

But now, you speak.

(Bones on TV)
The issue's that employees
of powerful corporate entities

can be made to perceive
of themselves

as indentured servants.

Disenfranchised
of the first amendment.

[phone ringing]

- Hello?
- 'Bones, thank God, I got you.'

- Baby?
- 'I've been calling and--'

- What's the matter?
- It's mummy.

Daddy called
and I-I can't find Stan.

The plane is on its way
to pick me up.

So will you, will you
please meet me at LaGuardia?

I don't want to be alone.

'I don't understand.
What happened?'

But I told you, it's mummy.

Oh...she's dead!

(Baby)
Daddy was taking her
to a new place

where the patients
go cross-country skiing.

Is this your car?

(Bones)
No, I just rented it
to pick you up.

- Oh.
- She just choked to death.

(Baby)
With daddy sitting right
there at the table with her

to be sure she ate
a good dinner.

He ordered Beef Wellington.

Connie choked to death
on Beef Wellington!

[whispers]
Poor daddy.

No foundation creams.
No eye makeup.

No lipstick.

A little gloss okay,
but no high color.

- 'No color?'
- None. You heard me.

I've seen your
cosmetic work, you ghoul.

You leave my wife's face alone.

It's a beautiful face.

A beautiful face.
Just the way it is.

- I'll be in to check.
- 'Thank you, Mr. Herschel.'

[dog barks]

- I'm sorry, Mrs. Munchen.
- Thank you.

Goodbye, Bones. Goodbye.
Thank you. I'll call you.

[boot closes]

(male #8)
'Where to now, miss?'

CBS.

I just thought if I didn't
get out of that house

I'd go crazy.

[instrumental music]

He was bad enough
at the funeral.

But he's been crying ever since.
He can't stop.

[music continues]

Never even thought he liked her.

Bones. Come back to the house
with me. Make it up with him.

He needs you.
Hell, I need you.

You think I want
new baby to wind up

with a teenage grandmother?

It's no good, baby.

Catch Stopwatch Sunday night,
but don't let Max see it.

I tried to stop it
when I heard about Connie

but it's scheduled
and it's going on.

What? What's going on?

Years ago, when Howard Hughes
bought himself a movie studio

He gave one order.
"Paint it."

When Mr. Herschel
took over International

he too gave only one order,
"flatten it"!

- I'll kill her..
- Daddy! Daddy!

- Switch channels!
- Ah!

I'll get an ambulance.

You've had what we call,
multiplepremature contractions.

The result of emotional tension,
fatigue, grief, but not serious.

Your heart's perfectly sound

I agree completely
with Dr. Kierstein's diagnosis.

[whispers]
Fuck Kierstein's diagnosis,
and yours.

I know what I had
and it wasn't contractions.

I had an episode of heart block.

Goddamn if I see
another rhythm like that.

I felt it and it could
happen again.

If I depend on you two pinstripe
pricks, it will happen again.

I need a pacemaker implantation.

And I need it immediately.

- Max..
- Nonsense.

With no atherosclerotic damage,
no angina pain, without--

You don't have
a period of asystole

for the cardiac output
to be compromised.

- Don't you read the literature?
- Max, I thought you understood.

Dr. Jowdy is head
of cardiovascular research

at the Heart Institute.

Then why doesn't he read
the fuckin' literature?

I want a pacemaker
and I want it tomorrow.

I want a General Electric
Sentry 75 Generator.

A GE, don't try to palm off
a Medtronic on me.

The company that makes
Medtronic is in Minnesota.

And my wife's goddamn father
came from Minnesota.

Well, that's the story.

'They don't think
it's really serious'

but I thought you ought to know.

[crying]
'It's all my fault.'

Oh, hell, Bones, I wouldn't take
too much credit if I were you.

He really was very cut up
over Connie.

'And lately, he's been behaving
more like a maniac than ever.'

'And then when he caught
your little show'

he threw one tantrum too many
and scared himself.

[Bones sobbing]

Oh, honey, don't cry.

They couldn't kill him
with a meat axe.

[soft music]

I want at least
two more phones in my room.

And grease
the switchboard real good.

Also the kitchen.
Not for the floor staff.

And the Puerto Ricans, twenties.
Fifties for the shvartzes.

The rest of the staff
will be happy with tens.

Unless they're Jews,
then back up to fifties.

Spread the word.
No one above...$100.

Stella, I gotta do it.

Call Bernie, tell him I want to
start proceedings against Bones.

What in hell do you think you're
gonna squeeze out of her now?

- There's nothing left!
- There's always the future.

[female on intercom]
'Dr. Ellen Bogen,
pick up on 59.

Hi, Stell..

(Max)
'Try the little Mondrian,
right over there.'

When they wheel me back in here,
I wanna wake up to Mondrian.

Wake up! Oh,
for God's sake, daddy.

You're not going to sleep
you're only gonna get a local.

- Just put it up.
- 'You'll be alright!'

You will. I won't let
anything happen to you!

I love you, Max.

I love you so,
I wouldn't live without you.

No, sweetheart, no.
You shouldn't be here.

- How did you find out?
- Ruth at the office called me.

She said an operation
on your heart.

Oh, God, Max, on your heart.

[sobbing]

Oh, God!

I love you, Max.

I love you.

I love you.

'I love you.'

Adorable kid.

I feel great.
It was a breeze.

Nothing.

A little operation like this
could jack up your heart muscle.

- Know what I mean, sweetheart?
- No, you're too subtle.

[laughs]

Hey.

(female on intercom)
'The gift shop is now open.'

'The gift shop is now open.'

But for God's sakes, daddy.
You're alright.

There's no reason
for her to keep sitting there

like some bloody Hindu waiting

for a chance to fling
herself on the pyre.

Order her to go home and if she
won't, have her thrown out.

That's not nice, sweetheart.

Cathy's a great little kid.
Very loyal. Smart too.

Smart as Bones at that age.

Maybe smarter.

- Speaking of Bones--
- Which I wasn't.

Speaking of Bones,
in spite of everything

and I mean everything.

I think you outta
make it up with her.

Make it up?
With that homicidal bitch?

There have been
small mistakes on both sides.

- She tried to kill me.
- Oh, daddy!

I mean, literally, in Bergdorf
Goodman, you didn't know that.

Well, she couldn't have given it
her best shot, you still here.

She cost me my Gulbenkian.

Don't count chops.

'What does that mean?'

Don't keep books
on people you love.

You know something, Baby?

You know there isn't much I own
I wouldn't give to have..

...Connie back.

Call Bones.

I wouldn't call that bitch
a taxi to take her to hell.

[phone rings]

Dr. Benecek's office.
Good morning.

'Hello?'

'Dr. Benecek's office.'

Good morning.

Hello?

[instrumental music]

[phone rings]

Yes?

'Oh, Bones, thank God,
you're home.'

Oh, hello, Baby.
How's Max?

'You'd better get down
to the hospital, right away.'

- What?
- 'Oh, Bones..'

I don't understand.

Stella said that he came out
of the operation fine.

Oh, Bones, please, he needs you.

Tell Mr. Digby,
Mr. J. Struthers Digby

That Herschel FAU
is an insurance company.

'Which means
a PhD in fraud.'

'Then remind him
we're also in a hotel business.'

'We know about rake-offs
and no hustlers in the lobby.'

We know as much about
no hustlers in the lobby

as Mr. Digby knows
about no Jews in his club.

Who let you in?

If you've come
to beg, forget it.

Bernie's got the office
working overtime.

They can hit you with a breach
of contract, personal damage

slander, assault
with a deadly weapon.

Stella, get that goddamn
purse out of her hand.

- Hello, Bones.
- Hello, Stella.

Max..

...uh, I've already told Bernie
and you might as well know too

that Bones', uh..

...employees agreement
has disappeared.

(Max)
'What the hell
are you talking about?'

Uh, that h-h-her file's just
gone. Nobody can figure it out.

Then fire the security chief.

I don't want to fire
the security chief.

But, uh, I'll give him
a good stern talking to.

I'll handle you later. And stay
close, this won't take too long.

I never knew you
girls were so tight.

Live and learn.

What's the matter? Didn't you
ever see a man in bed before?

[chuckles]

- Where's your husband?
- Where you sent him.

What do you mean
where I sent him.

I've been in California too.
I ran into Seymour Berger.

I'm sorry about Connie, Max.

I couldn't do a goddamn
thing. I was helpless.

So your husband's in California?
What are you doing back here?

Working.

Oh, I caught your epic
on TV, Sunday.

Yeah. Wasn't too bad.
I came off okay.

Frankly, kid. If you shot
your wad in that department

it's okay with me.
What next?

I'm going to make
a movie. A feature.

Is that a fact?
Where's the bread coming from?

I'm paying
for the original property

and screenplay myself.
And then we'll see.

What are you paying with?

With last Sunday night
and the jewelry you gave me.

What's the matter? Did you think
I couldn't bear to part with it?

[Max chuckles]

So you're really getting
into the picture business.

You're doing it the hard way.

I hear you say, you ran into
Seymour Berger out there.

I saw your vase too.

What vase?

You know what vase.
He's got Marsha in it.

Mrs. Berger.

Mrs. Berger died and Mr. Berger
put her ashes in the Gulbenkian.

He had Marsha cremated?
A good Jew like Seymour.

- I don't believe it.
- Well, it's true.

I know you love that vase

I'm sorry you
don't have it anymore.

What the hell
are you sorry about?

I've some business with Seymour.

The vase is on loan. I get it
when he dies. How does he look?

[laughing]

- He looks bad.
- Really?

You wanna drink?

Well?

So?

Listen, Max, I know
you're a very busy man

and I don't wanna keep you.

And you got another visitor
waiting to see you in the lobby.

- What visitor?
- That girl from the office.

- Cathy. Isn't that her name?
- Oh, you saw Cathy, did you?

Let me tell you something,
sweetheart. That little girl.

She loves me.
I mean, she's in love with me.

She's a very special little
girl. Bright and nice and good.

And I adore her. I could
wind up married to Cathy.

She's a wonderful girl.

- I'm telling you the truth.
- I believe you.

I tell you, she loves me.

I'm gonna tell you
something, Max.

I'm only going to say it once.
You better listen carefully.

- What?
- I love you too.

[laughs]

No, I really do love you.

Enough that if Cathy
is everything you say she is

she'll make you
a wonderful wife.

[laughs]

Thanks a lot.
Thanks for everything, kid.

If it comes to getting married,
I'll think about marrying you.

Since you love me so much.

Thinking about marrying me,
Max and marrying me

are two different things.
I'm not on the market.

Sure. There's always
a market for marriage.

It's the quintessential deal.

But first, you gotta define the
terms. Agree on the principle.

Get the quid pro quo
is all nice and tidy.

Know what I mean, sweetheart?

You can't run off blind
like you did.

What's your price?

Tell me what the bottom line is?

I think we both generally
understand what you expect

from a wife. I'm fuzzy
on a couple of points.

One. What are you
going to do about Cathy?

Keep her. I'm gonna keep her.
I'm not gonna marry her.

I wouldn't marry her if she was
the last fuck in the free world.

I'm gonna keep her.
What else?

How do you feel about
starting another family?

Negative.

That's too bad
because I'm pregnant.

So what else is new?

What's new is I'm gonna keep it.

[chuckles]

You got some nerve, sweetheart.

- What would you name it?
- Herschel.

Okay.

Let's hammer it all out
right now.

Okay. Leave Steven alone.
No more tricks.

- He's out of it.
- I never wanted him in.

Sweetheart, I know
you're ready to deal.

Let's see what you really want.

If I'm gonna get over my head,
I'd rather pull out right now.

I'm making you a big offer.

Big enough so I don't feel
you do too may concessions.

Like, one. You open a meeting
with the obstetrical item.

It makes me nervous.
Nevertheless, I'll listen.

Let's be honest, sweetheart.

You try to shit me
on network television.

So we got a few little problems
going in, like, trust.

You shook my trust in you.
You've lost a lot of assets.

When you left me you were flying
high. You had money.

You had a business going
for you. You were younger.

So were you, Max. And you
had a wife for protection.

Now, you're gonna have
all those teenyboppers

special and otherwise
snapping at your ass.

And you've got a dicey heart

which is really something
to consider. Who knows?

You could wind up an invalid.
Having me to take care of you.

I wouldn't like that, Max.

But I'd do it.
And I'd do it well.

Okay. Call your best shots.

Just tell me what you want?

I want the TV company
closed out.

Easy.

- I want Mark's head.
- Don't be mean, sweetheart.

- I'm telling you what I want.
- We'll discuss it.

Yes, we will.

I want a good
independent film set up

with top studio release.

Uh-huh.

What else?

What's your real bottom line?

I want you to say you love me.

[instrumental music]

Sweetheart.

I adore you.

I always have.
You know that.

I want you to say, you love me.

Stella...don't put any calls
through till I ring back.

I'm negotiating.

Well, that's it.
That's how I got married.

Didn't I tell you it was
a very romantic story.

[music continues]