Just Can't Get Enough (2002) - full transcript

[screaming]

I don't care if it's a
mob-owned club! I don't even care

if it's a Jesus H. Christ owned
club. We can't do the gig!

Is this Chippendales?
Auditions aren't until next week.

Are you Nick Denoia?
It depends on who's asking.

Nick was many things to many

people. Artist. Visionary. A
pain in the ass. An inspiration.

A man who made Chippendales.
But I'll tell you, the last thing any of

expected him to be was the end
of an era.

When Chippendales first opened,
he was a popular

backgammon club. But his tastes
changed, so did the entertainment.



Some mud wrestling led to a
ladies night or two, then three.

The crowds of women wouldn't
let up, Chippendales became the first ex

all-male strip bar. Before you
could say "it's raining men"

Chippendales had gotten quite a
reputation. Take Spencer

for instance. He stood outside
eery night hoping to be discovered

and hired to dance inside. You
see, the secret

was getting out. Chippendales
not only had the most women in one place

time, it had the most horny
women in one place at one time.

Why? Because these ladies

bought what we were selling. A
fantasy.

The last thing

they wanted to know was that
Royce here had a wife and a kid

waiting for him at home.
Put those hands together and

spread those legs apart. I have
a gentleman I want you to meet.



Or that Clayton was only
interested in dating casting directors

to help his acting career. And
he had a sixty-eight year-old sugar mama

who paid his bills.

Or, that of all people, he,
Steve Banerjee, was the one

who thought this whole
Chippendales thing up. The fantasy was h

A fantasy that was too much for
even me

to resist.
This is stupid. Man, I don't even know w

Fresh off the bus? Let me guess.

Iowa.
Close.

Orange Country. Just moved up here with

Yep.
The money.

You're here for the money.

Steve may have asked you to
come in here, but he's a guy.

Hey. He doesn't really know
what the ladies like, so if you wanna ge

Steve that the ladies love you.
Trade secret?

Look each and every one of them
in the eyes. Like you're about to penetr

Even the fatties. Okay? Give
them the ride of their lives.

*

* It's raining men, hallelujah

* It's raining men

Hey, hey

Yes, Mr. Banerjee

Hey, call me steve. The ladies,
they desire you.

I think they will be happier
with the tips

The revue will be your new job.

And so, there I was. The
fantasy.

A Chippendale.

Will? What has gotten into you?

I have some good news.
Go on.

While you were at work, I

was at work.
Oh my god!

That's awesome. You got a job?
Yeah, Chippendales.

As in the dancing guys?
Yeah. I was right here yesterday, laying

the owner discovered me. Isn't
that great?

No. That's majorly lame.

You just got your Masters in
Business. What about owning

your own company? Are you just
going to throw it all away?

No. I'm going to learn how to
run a business first hand.

And then I'm going to move on.
Heather, the money is so good. I mean, w

need the money.
Not that bad.

What would you rather have? Me or this j
Heather,

don't do this.
Wrong answer.

Heather.

We've done spot checks three
nights this week.

Each and every time, there's
been a drastic violation of fire code.

Is it because you are afraid of
the sexuality

of the men that you give me
such a difficult time?

No, it's because you're breaking the law
I can only make

a profit by fitting more women
than your capacity allows.

Please. Is there anything I can
do?

Follow the fire safety
regulations.

And lose the extra money?
That I cannot do.

If you continue with the
violations, the city will shit you down

Now, I suggest you take care of
the over crowding, or we will

do it for you.

Hello ladies, welcome to
Chippendales. I'll be your host

My name is Chad. Where are you
all from?

Santa Monica.
You all ready to have a good time?
Yeah!

That's too bad. Because I'm
going show you

a great time!
You better, because if you don't I'm goi

sue you for false advertising.
Oh really? We have a lawyer in the house

First year of law school, UCLA.
Ah. MBA,

UC Irvine.

Maybe you could save some room
for

a little dessert later.

*

I don't know why you want to
hire a choreographer.

You make this show any better,
you're going to have even more

women crowding in here to catch
the action.

I move forward. I didn't get
the way I am today by sitting back and

bleeding down to the asphalt.
You don't have to let

the fire department bug you.
Never hurt anybody.

Oh yeah!

Well if you're hungry for more
man-loving, we've got a guy that's

going to satisfy your appetite.
He is

the unknown, the stripper!

*

Maybe I can offer them a gift.

Say, of, ten thousand dollars.

To turn the other face, huh?
I don't know, Steve.

Then how much for you to scare
the fire department?

Excuse me?
A bomb.

Maybe that will get them off my
back.

You want to burn down the fire
department?

Maybe you should be running a
comedy club, Steve, because

that's real fucking funny.

*

[screaming]

Sorry, excuse me.
Wanna finish her off?

I have to go, I'm up next.

Not tonight, love to help you
out.

Hi Chad.

Uh, girlfriend.
So do I. And

she'll be happy to join us.
Hi.

Hi.

*

*

Oh my god!

Hey, how about a toast?

To the overeducated, and the
undersexed.

You or me?
I don't even know you.

To tell you the truth,

You're really not that far off.

We should fix that.

I can't.
I'm usually not so easy, this is

a limited offer.
Really, I can't.

Girlfriend.

Seven years. Since high school.

No itch to scratch?
Nope.

She's lucky.

Sorry.

*

Kill the music.

Take it off! Take it off!
You got a court order or something?

Take it off!

It's your show now, buddy.

Take it off! Take it off!

Excuse me. I'm going to have to
ask you to walk

slowly and carefully to the
exits.

Chippendales Nightclub is
closed for business.

Boo!

Hey. Remember us?

We thought maybe if we gave you
some time to think it over.

I thought about it.

Well, this will be our little
secret. Our lips are

so sealed.

Brittany was a centerfold last
May, did you see her?

Um, not everything, there was
this

staple.
So what will it be cowboy, the staple

the creases, or the living,
breathing

real me?
Shit! Heather?

Heather!

Honey
"I'm only in it for the money"

Hah!
It was them, okay? I wasn't doing anythi

I actually came by to apologize.

You know, I wanted to be a good
girlfriend and

support you.
The club was closed down.

Okay, I don't even work here
anymore.

Don't even bother coming home.
Your stuff will be on the porch.

How do you explain to a women
that you're trying to build a future

for the both of you, and it can't always
You must accept that

there are people like those
fire-fuckers, huh?

Who are not good to be having,
no matter how good your meaning.

My girlfriend, she broke up
with me.

You come into this world alone
as you leave it.

To think of oneself before
others is not a crime.

I say fuck everyone.

Tomorrow morning here, you will
help me.

But you're closed.

Those fuckers. They can close
my club, but

they can't close me.

You now work full-time for me.

[radio static]

*

Come on!

Hey, you work here?

Who wants to know?
Yeah, you don't, do you?

No, but, if the chicks think so, I do al

I bet you'd do a lot better if you worke

winning the lottery.
I know. Hey, Nick, Nick Denoia. I used t

West Side Story original cast.
Spencer. Wow, awesome, dude.

On Broadway.
Of course. I'm a choreographer now, and

I'm toying with the idea of
starting my own male dance club.

If you need a dancer, I'm
totally tight.

Sure, I'll keep you in mind.

Hey, can I help you guys?
Yeah, I'm looking for Steven Banerjee, I

Nick Denoia.
We're closed.
I got a call from Mr.

Banerjee, he told me to come in
for a meeting, he said he's looking for

Sorry man, the city shut us down.
No way! What for?

Overcrowding.
Oh see, I know a way around that. You ju

two shows a night and make them
each half as long as the one you were do

will notice. And that's how you're going

Can I just come up? Look my
name's Nick. I'm a

professional choreographer. I
had a lot of my shows staged off Broadwa

in television. I really think I
can help you guys.

Now, anybody can have hot guys
prancing around, but

if you do bigger, synchronized
dance numbers. I mean with costumes, pro

lighting, you know, actual real
dancers, I mean,

I come from the theatre. I
really think that I could make this show

I think it could be really big.

And I mean, on Broadway bog.

Women are the divine creator,
the lifeblood that keeps the world spinn

a way to express what a woman
wants. Not what a man thinks a woman wan

and express it sexually,
theatrically, there will be no stopping

Steve, come on, you've got
something really beautiful here. You don

all away. Now, I think you need
me.

Um, if you don't mind, I've
been running some numbers, and

If you pay Nick with half the
take from the second show and

then you raise the cover to
like twenty bucks a head,

you're looking at an extra
twenty seven grand a week. Not to mentio

And you file an injunction. I
mean, you've got magic in these walls.

Come on, Steve. The city can't
stop you, nobody can stop you.

No, Chad here, he had a really
good idea

You could also sell merchandise.

The t-shirts up front, they gather dust.

pictures? Well, if you put a
photo of one us on a t-shirt, they'll

buy it. I mean, you slap a
photo on anything, it'll sell. You

could make Chippendales better and more

A reincarnation.
Do you believe in reincarnation?

Of course.
So do I. And I definitely believe in

second chances.
Don't let this cash cow die Steve. Come

Put up a fight.

Why do I sit here and wait?

*

1, 2, a 1, 2, 3, and kick!
Kick, arm around, arm around

cherry picker, cherry picker,
dry hump, dry hump

slap your ass, and pose!
Heather please, it's Chad. Pick up the

phone. Honey, why won't you
talk to me, please pick up the

phone?
Ladies and ladies!

It's the new Chippendales Dance
Revue.

Welcome to paradise!

*

Which one of you ladies would
like a special delivery?

That's right, show us the money!

Who wants to unwrap his package?

*

My wife, she makes me samosa

for my stomach straight to my heart.
What's the occasion?

Today we celebrate the Diwali.
What's a Delali?

Diwali. It's a festival of
lights.

It's where we have a feast for
Lakshmi, she is the goddess of Prosperit

Cool. Well, happy Diwali.

The prosperity is also for you.
The ladies, they like you.

Thank you.

It could be better. So I have
got promotion

up my arm for you.
Promotion, really? To what?

To dance. Oh, I could never
dance. I could never strip, Steve. I'm n

like that. But you know, if you
need help with anything else, especially

you-
Think about the dance, okay? Until then,

I make you face of
Chippendales? Huh? You will be the boy

for the poster. You will be made famous.

You know, I'd rather be
assistant manager.

If you're good to me, I will

be good to you. It's that
simple.

There?
There.
There!

Are you like celibate or what?

No. It's just that I-
Well, are you like a fag or something?pp

Ooh! I didn't think so!

A more mature, dare I say
respectable Chippendales is the talk of

Thanks to director and producer
Nick Denoia, this popular strip club

has become the number one night
spot in LA. If imitation

is the sincerest form of
flattery, Nick Denoia should be very fla

The Green Tomato Disco in
Marina Del Ray is cashing in

on the growing craze and
starting their very own male dance night

Thanks to me, Chippendales is
the number one night spot.

Not that shit bastard Denoia.

What'll it take to make you
happy?

To have no one steal what is
mine. First that

shit bastard Nick, and now the
Green Tomato Disco.

I started the dancing men.

I will sue the Green Tomato
Disco and

the dancing one all the way to
the Supreme Court.

They're not doing anything
illegal.

Men have been dancing around in
their underpants since, well before

Jesus. Hell, before Buddha.

Then you must make them stop.

You pay, I'll play.

My dad and I are way tight.
Like, tag team tight. So you and your da

At the same time?
Let me put it to you this way. My dad ow

He's not selfish. I'm not
saying everytime, I'm saying it's

been done.
Yeah, well my dad and I did a lot of thi

hiking, fishing, catch, but we never...
And Reagan says a family isn't what it u

My dad doesn't believe how much
action I'm getting down here, so

I'm going to prove it to him.

I'm starving.
What do you want to have tonight?
Not want to have. Have to have.

Well I've got the urge to
splurge on Italian.

You know what I can't just get
enough of?

Casting agents. What about you,
Chad?

Well, I'm going to have a little bit of

Hey, right on.

So, the building went up, lots
of flames?

Hey, do you have to do that
shit in front of me?

Oh, I'm too old for this.

*

Do you have agent?
Not yet.

Have you studied?
Yeah, I'm learning to be a star.

Oh, bellisima!

That's killer.

If you ever want to screw
again, give me a call.

Name?
Jenny Lee

Chad.

Heather. Wow.

What are you doing here?
Saying hi.

I didn't think I'd ever see you
again.

I called, I wrote a bunch of
messages.

I know. Wow.

Is this your car?
Yeah, you like it?

It's awesome!
It's fast.
I bet.

Looks fast.

So, I see your face everywhere.
I didn't really

think you would stay this long.
Well, I'm making great money.

And I'm investing it all in the
market. Pretty soon I'm going to be the

How about you?
I'm okay.

Well, not so okay.
Why? What's wrong?

I miss you, Chad. And well,

I was hoping that maybe we
could hang out? Like old times?

Chad?
Huh?

I miss you.

What I'm doing right now, it
just feels

right. You know?

It's hard to explain.

I don't know how long I can
wait.

Tonight, Jenny Lee was first,
and you were second and third and then

Rose was next.
Nick's gay, right?
Now that we had you, he's the
only

one left.
And he won't give us the time of day.
Because you're having sex with

every worker here. Say cheese.
Grody

If you count the valet and the
bar backs, absolutely not.

Are we ready boys?

Come on, nap time's over, get
up. First position.

Please. And, a 5,

6, a 5, 6, 7, 8!

These handymen can!

One lick of their peppermint
sticks

will give sweet tingly delight.

Stop, stop, stop. What the fuck
is that?

Who writes this shit?

It sucks.
No, it doesn't suck.

The delivery sucks.

Got a little...

Temper.

All right. Let's go again,
please.

a 5, 6, a 5, 6, 7, 8!

Royce, you're late.

You're behind Royce, come on,
Pick it up Royce, come on.

Wake the fuck up. Stop, stop,
stop.

Good morning! Anybody

home? Jesus Christ you guys,
you know it's like, you're supposed to b

God's gift to womankind. The
most spectacular men to ever walk the Ea

I'm watching a bowl. Now Royce,
you

when you do that turn, boom!
You gotta kick into it. Boom!

Do you understand that? I'm
taking this show to Broadway.

Okay? Now if you don't care
about Broadway, then you can hit the hig

What?
You see that? Up there?

That's a door. Use it.

This ballet shit is for fags
anyways.

Gentlemen, look. You give me
what I want,

and I'm a sweetheart. Now, the
only time you have trouble with me is wh

make me break your balls.
Sorry. Backs.

Now, you, Spencer. I know
you've got the moves, baby, but

I'm just not feeling the
grooves, you know what I mean? I mean, y

sensuality. Now, I want to try
an exercise with you. I want

you to pretend that I'm a woman.

Just, all right. Just talk to
me like I'm a woman.

Hey, baby.
Sexier, closer.

You're way hot.
Mm yeah, what am I, chopped liver?

What the?

You touch me again, I'll kill
you.

You know, before I created
"Welcome to Paradise" I was

living in my car.
Why?

Because I risked it all.

I put everything I owned into
an original Nick Denoia show.

And we were going to Broadway,
too.

The producer, she, she stole
the financing.

I reached for the stars and I
fell. Hard.

And I'll do it all again.

Nobody can stop me.

None of you

can stop me.

Steve said you can't fire him.

So why doesn't he just tell me
that himself?

Bastard! He might've been the
first to have men strip, but I'm going

to make it last. I've got big
plans and they don't include him.

Or those idiotic apes he calls
dancers.

These amateurs may have been
fun for your little backwards burlesque

but they have no right in a
professional show!

You make me keep them and I
will quit!

I won't stop you.
No? Okay, fine. I'll just go to my good

Bob Marcucci? You might know
him as the famous Idol maker. He's very

in investing in my male dance
revue. I'll just take my show to him.

You? You own nothing!
No, I talked to my lawyer.

She told me that you own the
club. Your name, your ideas.

And I own the show. My name, my
ideas.

You know.

Steve. If you don't pay me my
take from the door,

I mean, What am I supposed to
do?

Gee you know, I really

I'd really have to hate to
tattle to the IRS. You know, just about

and the payoffs.

Oh, and the watering down the
booze.

I'm not going anywhere
empty-handed.

You know, much of my life has
been spent

on the road doing touring
theatre. Hello Dolly,

Cabaret. We would travel from
town to town and we'd

bring a little bit of culture
to those without any.

I can do the same thing with
Chippendales. With my own

cast. A touring show. That
would be mine.

Yeah, take me off the payroll.

Do it, you'll save some money.
Just let me go.

You will still own all the
merchandise, and I'll help you promote i

Steve, come on! It's free
publicity.

Steve.

This is our ship.

Now, look.

When I first came to you, you

trusted me. And you're a hell
of a lot better off because of it.

Now, I could open my own club
across town.

be your competition. Or, I

can go on the road.

For you. You choose.

If I sign. No more

of you in my face.
This bird has wings. He'll

fly if you set him free.

Here.

We're really going places with
this one, Steven.

You guys hear the good news?
Your IBM stocks live again.

Not all of us have extra money
to invest, Chad. Some of us have familie

support.
No, good news for you guys. Nick's histo

He's out of here. He's starting his own

Yeah, shit.
I think we should celebrate. Donny invit

you guys should come along.
Booze, blow, jet skis, surfing.

I'm in.
I'm in. Pussy?
BYOP.

I'm in.
Yeah!

*

The Green Tomato still has the
men. Why?

It's all in the message. You
got the message across that you mean bus

They still have the men dancing.

You scared them.
I will not have competition.

Call in a threat of a bomb
every night until they cancel

the show for good.

It's the least I could do.

I've had soul food, Vietnamese
food, Thai, Korean, Filipino. I've had t

Pacific rim. Swedish,
Icelandic, Egyptian, Morrocan. I've

even fucked a bodacious babe from Niga.
Is there any nationality you haven't had

The most killer lay. To the
max. Hardest game to bag. Is

Indian. Full on dot-headed
Indian chicks.

It's called an Indie. It means
the women are married or spiritually enl

No doubt. They don't care
what's in a white man's pants. That dot?

It's like a mondo-target. Taunting me.pp

wife.
Hey, she's not even an Indian.

Who made you Steve's bitch?
Don't come down on him. Steve's a decent

To you.
Dude makes more enemies than money.
Made sure that you didn't get
fired, hmm?

What about medical deformities?
I've had a midget.

She dressed like a school girl.
Youngest?
Fifth grader.

Sick.
I was in fourth! She wanted it.

Here you go. I thought you and
I were going up to

the main house, Peyton.
Sure thing, honey.

Duty calls.

That leaves all of us. You up
for it, sugar?

Whatever.
Hey, wait a minute.
What?

Who's first?
Rock, Scissors, Paper?

All right. Go for it.

*

You speak the language of no?

Thrust! Ass, ass.

Hand, hand.

I'm the coach of the world's
locker room.

So look out world, you ain't
seen nothing yet.

The suspect is driving a red
Camaro and heading west on Fountain, use

The guy's armed and dangerous.

Intruder virus!

Was the laugh too much?

Women are entering the
workforce in record numbers. Divorce

rates are higher than ever. For
the first time in history, women have th

freedom and money to express
themselves. Is this what the women's mov

has brought us? Just what is
going

on behind closed doors? We went
to the Chippendales nightclub to find ou

first hand.
Oh my god, I went to this Bachelorette p

bride and her mother did every
single dancer in the club. I mean,

there was a line out the bathroom door!
It's true.

This isn't the Donkey show
anymore. What I've created is the most i

in the world for women. Women
have never had anything like this. We me

permitted them to have it. And dammit, i
Cocksucker.

He will not beat me.
They perform

in convention centers. Hoten
ballrooms, arenas.

Places that hold one or two
women a night, which really kind of suck

You think I do not know?
Sorry.

You wanted to see me, now see
me.

Yeah.

You know how you keep

promising me

Steve, I think it's time you
follow through, you know, I'm really rea

run this club.
You think you can run my club?

Yeah, I have me MBA.
Well I have a nothing, I do quite well.

I know. It's just that

I'm, I'm not just one of the
guys okay, I'm not like them.

I can do your books, I can do your long-
I have a

long-term plan. To build a Chippendales

what I was thinking.
If you want to help,

do you know what the best thing
you can do?

What?
Dance.

The ladies, they love you, okay?

If I put your name on the
marquee, we could make so much money.

I'm not a good dancer.
Who has to dance? Look pretty and drop y

Hey. If you're so smart, it
will be so easy.

Steve, please, I
Ah, business is business.

You know that I'm being sued by
the gays who are not allowed to see the

And the city is after me with
zoning laws this and zoning laws that.

These lawsuits are costing me
time and my money.

If the gays win the
discrimination, they will take away

my liquor license. I am
fighting to the death! I need the money

for the lawyers.
It's not that I don't want to help you,

Would you rather quit?
Quit? No.
Good.

Then you can help me make money.

Ah, ah, ah, no sad face.

You consider dancing. I will
consider

making you my manager. Okay?

Nobody's forcing us to work
there, either, believe me, we want to.

There's no place in the world I
can make this much money or have this

much fun. You know, I couldn't
imagine working anywhere else.

Clayton, you are so good for me.

Mm, you make me feel so young
again.

That's my job.

Dottie?

Death by cunnilingus. I'm
afraid I'm going to

have to take you in to ask you
some questions.

I mean, the guys down at the
station could really use the advice.

Look, sorry,

kid. It's a bad joke. Why don't
you take a seat.

Is there anything we can do?

thirty one days in February?

twenty eight in August?

That I now know. It will cost me

half a million dollars to have
them printed correctly.

You didn't hire someone to proofread?
I had a deadline with the printer! Do yo

how much extra it is to rush the job?
You lose more

money trying to save it.
I'll get a loan, and then I'll open up

Chippendales across the
country, and I will make so much money i

How do you expect to get a loan
with the books you keep?

If you check your financials,
you haven't turned a profit since you op

What has worked for me in the
past doesn't help me now.

Why the fuck did you give Nick
Denoia the touring rights?

Whoever heard of traveling
dancing strip show, huh?

I just wanted him gone!
Yeah, he's gone all right. Gone to make

I'll get the rights back.

They're the most profitable

assets of the company. How are
you going to do that?

Everybody has a price.

Oh, one more thing.

Can you sign this?

Hey.

Wanna stay over tonight? I can
make you some breakfast in the morning.

You were fantastic.
Well, can I call you?

That was awesome! Can I take
your picture?

Oh! Smile, honey.

Hey!

Dottie passed away.
No way! Bummer, man.

Come in. Loss of income's gotta
suck.

What?
Yeah, she kept you in major style, man.
It wasn't like that!

Woah! What the hell's going on
here?

Dottie died.

I didn't need her for that.

You loved her?

Yeah. Strange.

*

Dottie was kind of like my mom.

Took better care of me than I took care

She was thirteen when she had
me. My dad said she was a way wild. Coup

she split. Haven't seen her since.
My mom was like 47

when she had me. Everybody thinks she's
Have you ever seen her naked?

Please.
Come on, we've all screwed our moms.
Not me.

Yeah, you.
Every guy has. When you're born.

There's contact.
No doubt Chad, you loved it.
What's up with you, Royce,

how do you think this shit up?
Lately? My mind, I just, I can't help it

I'm telling you guys not me, all right?

Fuck you.

Spencer?
Trying to catch a squirrel?

What?
Your nuts are hanging out.
Those aren't my nuts.

That's just my leg.
Mr. Grad school. Take a look.

You're smart. Those Spencer's nuts or hi

I didn't get in, sorry.
You wanna see my nuts?
No.

These are my nuts.

You're all bald. Like a couple of cockta

Yeah, so?
How the fuck do you shave your nutsack?

With a razor.
Oh!
You've gotta get them cold
first, so they

shrink up nice and compact. Then you lat

You've gotta work quick with a
steady hand. And never use

a straight.
I give, it was your leg.

Well I think you'd wanna
stretch the skin out, all straight and s

when they compact it's like a
beehive. I mean, how the hell can you sh

No two nuts are made the same.
Well, what about your asshole?

That's easy. The trick is
balancing the mirror in the sink so you

stand over it just right.
Enough!
Thanks, now we're going to have
nightmares.

Hey.
What?

Nothing.

Yeah. I hear you.

*

Why haven't I seen you in a
while?

I've just put out so much for
you. What have I gotten in return? Nothi

not a lead on an agent. God
forbid you actually cast me.

Now that you mention it. I am
working on something that I think you'd

in. Have you heard of Miami
Vice?

I'd love to bring you in to

read for a recurring role.
Really?

You'd give me the shot?
Yours wouldn't be the first career I've

You're not saying that just to
get in my pants?

You are so talented. Now, why
would I do that?

Your place or mine?

Excuse me. I understand you have

sex with the customers.
Who wants to know?
Do you charge?

For you, baby? Nothing.

Woah, okay, woah!

All right. Okay, big guy. I was
just asking.

All right big guy, that's
enough.

Asshole. I'm with the

Vice Bureau.
Role playing's extra.

Get off of me!

Now is your turn to help me.
How?
We're short a dancer.

So, tonight's your lucky night.

I don't think so, Steve. I am
not filling in for Royce.

What's good for the company
makes me happy and when I am happy, I

consider you as manager.
I can't.

You will if you like your job.
So you're going

to fire me if I don't dance.

Since you are like one of my
own, I will give you until this weekend

a dance so you will not feel
such nerves.

Ladies!

Are you feeling good? Are you
feeling groovy?

We're going to kick tonight's
show off with a bang!

Independent state's style.
Let's hear it for

Spencer!

*

Fuck Steve. I don't need to
work.

Live off my stocks. My
investments have been great.

That's funny.

What?
You didn't hear?
Hear what?

What do you mean I lost everything?
The market crashed.

They called in your margin. You
don't have the money to cover it.

Wait, so you're saying I'm
broke?

It's all gone, all of it?
Unfortunately. But we'll figure

something out. Listen, can we
talk about this in the morning?

Hi, you've reached Heather.
Leave me a message and I'll

call you back. Bye.

*

You own nothing!

You little bitch!

I made you. Now how's the
weather in

Philly? Oh, I heard you had a
packed house in DC. What'd you do, fly m

Yeah well, I counter back with
you should pay me to license the Chippen

because I made it big. Bigger
than you

could've ever even imagined.

I have a contract drawn up.

Oh, yeah. I see. Well, I got a
contract, too. Oops!

A napkin.

You have a napkin.
Yeah, but oh, look, it's got our signatu

on it. It'll hold up in court.

Name your price.

I'll buy all the rights back.
Yeah, well, you can't

sell a dream. Look, I've got a
Chippendale show going up on Broadway

next month. And to quote the
immortal Karen Carpenter,

"I've only just begun."

You're fucking with the wrong
genius, dollface.

Why don't you scare the shit out of him?

This fucker is over. I asked
for business

and respect settle for good.

How much?
Oh, fuck Steve.

What's your price?

I couldn't get it done for less
than a hundred thou.

What goes around does come
around.

We're talking about

a fucking human life.
Here's half.

How much?
two hundred dollars.

Let's be fucking professional
here. I want to know I'm

hiring a professional. Make me
want to hire you for this

job. For starters, ask me for
more.

four hundred dollars?

Christ, Hernando! How much do
you think a human life is worth?

A thousand dollars.
There we go, now we're talking.

I pay you a thousand dollars.
Half when we touch ground in New York,

half immediately after.
Comprende?

You're going to dance?
Yeah.

Good cop, bad cop routine.

They'll eat it up. Hey, I
finally got a date with an Indie girl.

Good for you.
I mean, she's not that hot, but she's In

And that counts for something.

I take it you didn't get the
role?

I went there. But it wasn't
there. The address she gave me

was a factory. They chrome
bumpers and shower rods and shit, but it

the right address. So I make
some calls. I find out the bitch isn't e

a casting agent. She sells
carpet.

I feel like I've been spinning
in circles. I'm going nowhere!

I'm making some changes. From
now on, I'm going to make it on my own,

any fucking help from anything
or anybody!

Royce loses it and now you?
Stay away, it might be

contagious.
How's he doing?

His wife left him. He could get up to a
I think he should plea pussy fever.

What?
I mean, his judgement was all clouded, y

He couldn't tell right from wrong. I'll

Cause I know how sex can drive
a man mad.

Before this bride to be walks
down the aisle,

we're going to take her for a
walk on the wild side!

How many Bachelorettes do we
get tonight?

Four, including this one.
I think it's about time we

tell her where her friends have
brought her for the last and most ultima

party of her single life!

Oh yeah, baby. You know it.
You're at Chippendales!

Where your every fantasy will
come true!

Heather.

Chad.

Wow. I've been thinking about you.
I've been thinking about you, too

You have?
Well duh, of course. I always do.

I tried calling you, and,
This isn't exactly how I

wanted you to find out.

I've been thinking about you.
You said that already.

Yeah.
He owns a chain of sunglass stores.

You'd like him. He's nice. Wow.

You look awesome. I'm really
proud of you.

Really?
Well, we've come a long way, huh?

King and Queen of Winter Court.

You always had it so figured
out. Wow, how is it being manager

of this place?
What?
Well, you're in charge of this
place, right?

Running the business.
Yeah.

At least you're not one of the
cheesy dancers.

Yeah. You did it.

I did it. Well, I'd better run.
My party.

Someone's not going to live
this one down.

Did someone call 911?

If there's an emergency in your
pants have I got the cop for you!

You've seen him on calendars
and on television and tonight you're goi

live, and alive for the first
time in the living flesh,

Hey Chad, you're up man.
Where's your costume?

Let's give it up for the
officer, the gentlemen,

the face of Chippendales!

Chad!

Chad!

Chad

Chad, the man on the calendar,

Chad.

Have you seen Chad?

Hey, Chad, where are you? The stage is e
I'm done.

Hey! Where are you?

*

Fuck!

I just wanted to see the show!
How else

was a guy supposed to get in?
I don't know whether to kick your ass

or let you finish.

Forget you ever knew.

You know what?

Oh man.

Oh yeah.

I don't care if it's a
mob-owned club. I don't even care if it'

owned club. We can't do the gig!

Is this Chippendales?
The auditions aren't until next week.

Are you Nick Denoia?
It depends on who's asking.

It is a sad day for the
Chippendales family as touring

show producer Nick Denoia was
shot and killed in his midtown Manhattan

morning.
Our thoughts are with is family right no

There will be no replacement for Nick De
The dancers are in seclusion

but their spokesperson says
that tonight's show will go on, because

way Nick would've wanted it.

I've arranged for my tour to
begin next

week.
I called Nick's lawyer. It seems

you just don't get the touring rights ba
Fuck, what?

When Nick died, everything he
owned passed on

to his next of kin. You have to pay for
This is law?

When you die in this country,
everything you own transfers on to your

next of kin.
Why the fuck did not anyone tell me this

You hired me for security,
Steve. You need legal advice,

hire a lawyer.
What is

this deal?
A million and a half, and they won't bud

This Nick. He fucks me

even from his grave.

I heard Nick cancelled his show
last minute at a mob-owned club. Somethi

a mob hit.
I heard the cops in New York are high on

but I vote Steve.
Would Steve do that?

Look, whether or not Steve did
it, it's just best that we get the hell

What do you mean, out of there?
Hey, I've been thinking about

something for a real long time
and have been wanting to to tell you abo

I've decided I want to start my
own male dance revue.

You know, complete with
calendar, postcards, videos. The whole

nine yards. I want you both to
come work with me.

What about Steve?

A little competition never hurt anybody,
You're totally serious.

Yeah, I've sunk every dime I've
got into this thing. I even have a show

Now when we get rolling, I
promise you guys I am going to pay you b

Steve ever did, okay? I even
got a profit sharing plan set up for you

That's cool. I mean, we're the
reason broads

come to the show anyway. Why
should we let somebody else profit from

Exactly?
And what about Royce?
He'll dance with us when he
gets out.

And when's that?
He pled guilty to assault.
And got six months.

Yeah, but he'll get three for
good behavior.

Do you really think we can do this?
Does it hurt to try?

What are we waiting for?

*

You should've married the
money. You spend more time with it than

You want the money to live like a prince
I would rather have you.

Well, you can't have them both.

What?

Don't just stand there, say
something.

I think I speak for everyone
when I say this really bites, Chad.

I know. I know, you guys.

Let's split. Hey, guys, I'm
going to pay you all for showing up toni

Clayton?

Hey dad!

The show was cancelled. They
had a bomb threat.

I'm sorry you drove all the way down her

I want you to meet.
Yeah?
Yeah. When I seen her at the
World of Nudes, I said to myself

my son's gotta see this piece
of ass. Hold on a second.

Hey honey! Come over here. You
won't remember her.

I totally remember her.

How could I forget.
You do? You were kinda young. Virginia,

Spence, meet your mother.
Baby!

Why are you doing this to me?

You quit with no explanation.

You don't return my phone calls.

And now you want to steal from me? Huh?
Can't you just leave us alone?

You are the face that launch

a thousand and more calendars.
I made you a face to remember.

You don't need us.
I need your bodies.

Not your competition. You must
stop.

Why? Huh? Why do we have to
stop? We're not breaking any laws.

When I come to America, there
was no one to help me.

I helped myself. I made my own
rules.

Hey, don't look at me all
crooked eye. I was not the first!

Your Joseph Kennedy, huh? He
made it

He built a fortune off of
little booze.

Tonight's news. President
Ronald Reagan. Breaks the laws

of this country to fund his
secret war. To bend the law is the

American way.
What are you saying?

The dancing men are mine, and
mine only. Please.

This is not personal. This is
business, Chad.

Was killing Nick business?

Or personal?

I made you, you stupid dump
fucking

You don't walk out on me! I
will walk out

on you!

All three of them.

That's not just a hit. That's a
massacre.

Are you sure it's worth it?
Make it look like an accident.

Maybe a drug overdose.

I'll have to hire a real
expert.

It's going to cost me half a
fucking mil to pull this one off.

This is not your ordinary hit,
Steve.

Sweet mary, shit.

Here's half.

Shit.

Cyanide and syringes. Inject
them into their butts.

Why?
Can't be traced. I stole it from a neigh

in Jersey. I had a gopher
problem.

I know needles. They break.
Their asses are

very strong.
It's just an idea. Cap them, what

the shit do I care?
There is twice the risk. I have to

ask you for twice the money.
I want you clean on these

hits. I want no problems, got it?
No, no, after New

York, no more monkeys on my
back. After seeing that

hombre's all, boom! It sobers
you up.

I'm clean. I am how you say, a
responsible

Oh yeah, send your
responsibility

If you promise to save some of
this, I'll give you two thousand now

and two thousand after you pop
them.

Oh, you are the bestest boss

I ever had. I am going to buy
my daughter an EasyBake oven

and I save the rest, and I am,
how you say,

Senor responsibility.
You're shitting me.

I have my little angel's birthday tomorr
By granddaughter's birthday's tomorrow

also, I got a fucking EasyBake
oven in the back of the car!

Kismet. This was meant to be.

Here.

These three chumps right here.
Mr. June, Mr. August, and for Christmas,

Mr. December. After you're
done, you

burn this.

You ever wonder how

a lightbulb can bake a goddamn
cake?

No.
I do.

*

Who is it?
Delivery.

Sign here.

Thanks

Thank you.

I lost my passion

for living. I was too high to
notice.

I had lost the woman I

loved. I was too high to

mourn. I lost track of my

greatest strength. Me.

Because I was too weak to care.

The past is just a memory.

The future's just a dream. I
only have now.

And now I choose to celebrate
me.

A clean and sober me.

Freeze!

Hey. Hi. I'm Lenny Fincklestein.

I loved your honesty up there,
I'm sober eight months myself.

Let me cut to the chase. I work
for United Clients Agency. We represent

picture business. Has anybody
ever told you

you've got that star quality
babe. You got it, seriously. Call me.

I'm looking for Chino Glomski.

Yeah. For you.

Glomski.

I'm in the clink. Oh Jesus. Sit
tight.

Watch what you say. I'll get
you out.

Was that him?

The hit's off.

I must be crazy.
Yeah, you said it.
I'll pay the assassin's bill
and some extra

cash to keep his lips closed.

He does not know who I am, huh?
I've never mentioned you.

Are you afraid that he will tell the pol

turn stakes, set me up. I'm too
smart for that.

I'm watching my back.

What, what'd I say?

Of course I'm not wired. I
haven't been

arrested! I'm here, ain't I?

The only way to tie him

to you is through me. Yeah, so?
I

ain't going to rat you out.
Steve.

We go way back.
I'll have airplane tickets delivered to

We leave the country tomorrow.

Steve wants us dead?

Never had a hit taken out on my before.
It's kind of cool.

In character?
All right, listen. You have nothing

to worry about. We have the
warrant. All we need is a warm body, all

I don't want any listening in.

The cops have no jurisdiction
in Paris. You made it here, right?

We're free. We're out of the
woods.

Come on, let's celebrate. Have
a drink.

Maybe then

you are wearing recording
device?

Take off your clothes.
You're serious.
Or I'll leave

right now.
All right, relax.
It's just me, your old friend

Glomski.

Christ. You really are

serious.

You ever strip for anyone. This
ain't easy.

Do you mind?

I would never bring shame to my
body.

By taking off clothes for
profit.

You'd do anything for money,
don't bullshit yourself.

Everything?
Everything.

Ah, give me a little music.

Hum a tune or something.

[humming]

You happy now?

If they never get you, they
will never get me.

You live here like a king for
your silence.

You're overreacting. We're
fine. Steve, listen.

Did the cops ever even question
you about

Nick's murder?
No.

You didn't even kill anybody
this time! And now

all of the sudden you think
they're going to come after you? This is

a joke. These cops, they
couldn't even wipe their

own asses if their shit was
made of toilet paper.

I hired you to kill Nick.

My regrets are none.

I should've stopped there.

I threw all my money there and
here

trying to clean up all this
mess.

I'm left with nothing.
We got it.

Let's go.

I wish I could just go to bed.

When I wake up, all this is
gone.

[knocking]

Can I help you?

Steve Banerjee. You're under
arrest for racketeering, murder

use of interstate commerce
facilities in the commission of a murder

for hire. You will be escorted
back to the Los Angeles men's detention

center by US Marshalls. Let's
not make this any more difficult than it

has to be. Open the door or
force will be used.

I am so tired.

It's good to have you back.

They ate that routine up!
That's because you dance from experience

Chad tell you I got an acting
job? I'm going to be playing Jackson T.

Planet. The crime fighting rat
from another dimension.

It's a cartoon, but it's a start.
By the time I figure out they're not

dudes, not related, or age
free, I'm so over it.

These calendars are awesome.
Yeah, they're sold in every big bookstor

We even sold out in a few
places.

Hey. you fucking made it
No, no, no, we made it guys, we made it.

I'm starving man. I could really go for

Let's go for it.
All right, there's

a pizza place that's open 24 hours.
I'll buy.

Let's go.

Excuse me.
Oh, thanks for coming down.

This was supposed to be a
deposition.

What is so funny?
I know you, don't I?

I was afraid you'd remember.

Yeah, last time I saw you, you were just
Oh yeah, and you were half

naked.
Yeah. I guess we both graduated.

You look good. In clothes.

So, we don't need your
deposition after all. Mr. Banerjee saved

So Steve admitted everything?
He didn't have to. THe evidence was

overwhelming. He'll serve 26
years and he has to forfeit Chippendales

The sentencing is tomorrow.
So Uncle Sam

is going to run a strip club, huh?
He'll sell and keep the profits.

Counselor,

you wanna get together.
Actually, I'm not so

easy anymore.
I didn't mean it like that. I meant

for dinner?
Dinner.

Dinner?
Like an old-fashioned date?

I would love to,

As long as you promise to tell
me everything you know about Chippendale

Deal.

Nothing I can do can fix my
Karma.

There will be other chances for me.
The United States Government

is going to own Chippendales.

I will not let them have all my
hard work.

I will take care of you as I
promised.

How?
They will not get the best of me.

You will see.

*

*