Jun zi hao qiu (1984) - full transcript

FORTUNE STAR MEDIA LIMITED

PRODUCED BY: LAI YING CHAU, CHAN FAN KEI

ASSOCIATE PRODUCER, PRESENTED BY:
WONG PING YIU

STARRING: ALAN TAM WING LUN, BRIGITTE LIN

FEATURING:
STEPHEN TUNG WAI, CHANG KUO CHU

BENNETT PANG KIN SAN, CHAN CHI WING

FEATURING: KAN YEE CHING, WAI GEI SHUN

PAMELA PECK WAN KAM, LEE YAN

SONGS BY: CHAN FEI LIT

INTERLUDE BY: WILLIAM KWAN

LEAD VOCAL: ALAN TAM WING LUN
LYRIC BY: ANDREW LAM MAN CHUNG



THEME SONGS ARE PROVIDED BY POLYGRAM

LIGHTING BY: WONG CHI MING
EDITOR: CHOI HUNG

PHOTOGRAPHY BY:
RAYMOND LAM FAI TAI, CHAN KONG HUNG

YU CHUN, CHEUNG CHI KEUNG

ART DESIGN BY: DOMINIQUE LO KA YIU
STUNTS: JOE CHU KAI SANG

WARDROBE: SHIRLEY CHAN

PRODUCTION BY:
TSANG SAU WUN, CHEUNG WING WAH

ASSISTANT DIRECTOR:
CATHERINE LAU GA WAI, WONG KIN CHI

Hi.

Sorry...

SCREENPLAY BY:
WONG PING YIU, CHEUNG LAI LING

- You're quite patient.
- I should be.

Are these flowers for me?

Why are they wilted?



They've waited too long so they're asleep.

They smell really interesting.

That's him. He's Alan Ng.

Excuse me, everyone,

doctors recommend eating an apple a day.
It's good for your health.

Thank you very much, Uncle Chiu.

No problem...

Alan Ng

is a typical example
of today's young generation.

He is irresponsible to the society--

Right, he doesn't take responsibility
for his duty to society,

and he's unmotivated, lazy, hedonistic,

and sycophantic.

The word "sycophant" is derived from Greek,

sukon and phainein,

later molded into...

I've learned a few things
so I wanted to share them with you,

but carry on...

The reason why young people today
are like that

is that they lack love, so...

This is Mr. Wong,
the Director of Asia Corporate

and the endorser of this experiment.

Susan, let me kiss you.

- Susan...
- Hey...

The aim of this experiment

is to give love to Alan Ng

and see if this can motivate him

to strive for the best.

I still believe that these young people

have to pray to God that...

Sister, they are talking about love.

But they think that love is...

It's not for us to discuss.
Let's just go back and pray.

Speaking of love,

it'd be nice if we can simply buy it.

I've booked a table at Sun Tung Lok.

Let's have lunch together after the meeting.

We've selected our experiment subject.

Next, we need to find a love machine.

- Love machine?
- Love machine?

That's right. We have to select a young girl
as the love machine.

Her duty is to give love to Alan Ng.

Love machine? That's corny.

Wouldn't it be easier
if we call them Man A and Woman B?

You think you are studying

your agony aunt column?

As the proverb goes, "Without a proper name,
what is addressed is not what is defined."

"Define" is derived from Greek as well?

No, it's derived from Latin.

Everybody, carry on.

Stop interrupting us.

As for the candidates for the love machine...

The candidates must be carefully selected.

We've picked out a few candidates.

I'd be happy to hear your opinion.

They are the good ones.

Really?

They are pretty girls.

I don't think they are the good ones.

But speaking of appearance...

Anyway, they are not attractive.

If they are not suitable,
we'll have to find some new ones.

Actually, I have someone in mind.

I just can't recall where I saw her.

You'll find something when you stop looking.

That's right...

No!

Please.

This experiment is not too bad.

I get to wear beautiful clothes for free.

Don't get so excited just yet.

Alan Ng is capricious.

Do I look pretty?

Bear in mind,

if he swears, pretend you hear nothing

and just think about me.

You want me to think about you
when I hear swearing?

No. Take this seriously.

Although Uncle Chiu
will protect you in secret,

if he suddenly gets nasty

and touches you, what would you do?

I guess I'll just let him.

Just let him? No way!

You are my fiancee.

How could he take advantage of you?

Now, I'll teach you
the basics of self-defense.

- You know self-defense?
- Why wouldn't 1?

Don't you know that

I learned judo and karate
when I was in high school?

Here, watch me.

If he does this...

Anyway, if he does that, you can...

Okay?

Of course not.

If he does that, I'll kick him there.

Down there.

That's also correct.

Right. What if he attacks you from behind?

- What would you do?
- I can handle that.

How?

Show me.

What if he does that...

What are you doing? You're so disrespectful!

It's just a misunderstanding...

We were practicing
how to deal with sexual harassment.

Sexual harassment?

That's good.

You are able to think on your feet.
That puts my mind at ease.

Pretty girl.

- Hi.
- Hi.

- Here you are again.
- Yeah.

Any pretty girls here tonight?
Be sure to let me know.

No.

- Who are you? What do you want?
- Dance.

Sure.

A flash in the pan? Whatever.

The fool is here.

My brothers!

You're too late.

-What took you so long?
-Yeah.

What do we do now?

The pretty girls are all taken.

Yeah...

I just saw a breathlessly beautiful girl.

Really? Where is she?

I just let her go.

Do I look like someone
who'd hurt the innocent?

To be honest,

if you all fail tonight,

pay your own bills.

You're such a snob.

Don't worry. There's no need to rush.

Fai, a couple of girls over there
seem to be asking for punishment.

You're a bad girl.

Go for it.

You see? Those girls are lost.

I saw them long ago.
But they are not up to par.

They are just for warm-up drills anyway.

Right.

Just like before your soccer game. Let's go.

Let's go warm up. We can't waste anything.

Right.

No way.

Hi, pretty ladies.

- How are you?
- Don't call me pretty lady.

I know my own strength.

Beauty is nothing.
What's most important is your personality.

Have a seat.

- Come on, what are you waiting for?
- Sit down.

- Get your own spot.
- Scooch over. I'll sit here...

What about me? I want to sit there.

Just sit separately for a minute.
You are embarrassing.

Let me introduce you.

I'm Alan Ng. He's Oxy, and that's Cracky.

How are you doing?

And he's Concussy.

I came up with those nicknames.

I'm Linda. She's Pauline.
This one's Morline, and that's Darlyn.

I came up with those nicknames.

I'm very excited.

You're embarrassing...

- Thank you, 42 dollars please.
- He's always like that.

- Here's your opportunity.
- Take the bill.

Take it.

- Do as I say.
- Hurry up.

You're so old-fashioned.

You let the opportunity slip away.

We're used to paying our own bills.
Our moms won't blame us for that.

You were raised well.

We're done making friends, huh?

You're very considerate.

Come back if you get rejected.

Well said...

There are only three girls,
all pretty as a picture. Who goes first?

I'm very excited!

All right, let's draw straws as usual.

- Whoever gets the longest goes first.
- Longest...

See?

The longest straw always chooses me.
Let's wait and see.

Ladies.

What are you doing?

Nothing. I just want to bet you 200 dollars

that you won't dare make friends with me.

Either I get 200 dollars
and make friends with you

Either I get 200 dollars
and make friends with you

or I give you 200 dollars
and ask you to get lost?

That's right. You don't lose either way.

Isn't it a good trick?

How about you ramp up the bet?

Ramp up the bet?

How much?

500 dollars?

500 dollars? Sure.

I've still got some money left.

Let's make it 500 dollars.

I bet that you won't dare to have
an intimate friendship with me.

That's out of line.

You won and took the money.
What a corny trick.

That's ridiculous.

I failed.

- I failed.
- Does it hurt?

If you are my friends,

don't laugh in this situation.

Watch me.

That's a bolt from the blue...

I can't believe that I've got
an incurable disease at such a young age.

I only have three months left to live.

You deserve it.

I don't mind dying.

What's most important is that I don't know

whom I should give my burning heart to.

Who'd like to get into
this untangled relationship with me?

Lady, will you?

Do you see how uninterested I look?

- How about you?
- Get lost.

Miss, it's you. You are my last hope.

I was quite interested at the beginning,

but then you put me last.

What does that mean? I'm a leftover girl?

I've failed.

Nothing happened... Carry on dancing.

I failed but I still look good.

How was it?

What's so funny? I knew I'd fail.

But I didn't know it'd be that bad.

I thought I could just randomly get one.

Concussy, it's your turn.

Come over...

I can't. I told you I'd get the bill,

and you'd get the girls.

What? You think we are pimps?

I have confidence in you.
Don't worry. Go for it.

Go for it...

- Go...
- Yes.

- Come on...
- You're useless.

- Let's tease him.
- Great.

- You have something to say?
- Yes.

Have a seat.

- Not here, there.
- All right...

You're as quiet as a mouse.

Do you drink?

No.

Dance?

No.

Then what are you doing here?

I pay the bill.

You should've told us sooner.

Come, I'll teach you how to dance.

Sure...

- May I...
- Let's go, you fool.

Take that.

You have awful taste.

You've hit the jackpot, huh?

I've lost all my confidence.

We'll find another way.

I'm getting a bit impulsive lately.

Your body retains too much internal heat.

You think I'm a fireman?

- What?
- Help us.

- It's your turn.
- I pass.

How can you pass...

We're on the same boat. Let's sink together.

Yeah, go on!

- Go on!
- Go!

- Go now.
- Go now.

Do you have sisters?

- What do you want?
- I just want a girlfriend.

My sister won't make friends
with someone like you.

She's too arrogant.
If that's the case, I'll choose you.

I don't mind anyway.

I just want to make friends with a girl
for the occasion.

We'll make friends with anyone but you.

Really?

Anyone but me, come over now!

Yes, coming...

Making friends is all about
honesty and sincerity.

Stop thinking dirty thoughts.

We're determined to make amends.

No thanks.

Don't think that you can keep
a playful attitude toward life

just because you're born with a silver spoon.

There are a lot of rich smarty-pants
in Hong Kong.

But you two stand out.

All right, I'll leave you guys to it.

- What's your name?
- And yours?

- He's coming.
- Let's go.

Go? Why?

He's now spellbound.
It's easy to get him hooked.

If I get him like that,
it'd make me look like one of those girls.

- Then what should we do?
- I know what to do.

Sorry, old folk.

There...

I'm utterly head over heels for a girl.

What a useless fool. Forget her.

- I need some change.
- Change? Hold on.

Shoot it...

I do the shooting or you do it?

Both of us.

Give me a nice one.

- Is this one good?
- Of course not.

Are you guys flirting?

What do you mean?

What? Don't lash out just because you lost.

Watch me.

Hurry up.

- Self-draw! Double shot!
- The police are here!

- Double shot?
- Mom, Dad, police raid.

Great, shuffle!

You cheater! Why are you scared?

- You cheater!
- It's a police raid!

Even if the governor came,
I wouldn't be scared.

What?

How dare you tease your dad. Pay now...

Yeah, you mischievous kid.

- Come on...
- Pay now!

Fai, come sooner next time, all right?

Stop the nonsense. Pay now.

Right, Fai,
say hello to your aunt and uncle.

100, 110...

- 120, 130. I need the change.
- Uncle Seven, Aunt Seven.

Mom, where's Judy?

There's soup in the kitchen.
Heat it up and help yourself.

No, no one is minding the store.

- Give me two dollars change.
- Where's Judy then?

Never mind, you guys carry on.

Don't think that we'd ever get back together.

Judy, let me explain, please.

I don't want to hear it...

You don't have to explain.

I saw you eat Mimi's rice rolls.

I withessed it.

That's because I was hungry.

If you like me, you'd rather starve to death
than eat those.

You ate her spit. I will never see you again.

We're finished, and from now on,
we'll go our separate ways.

Well said.

No, please.

You ate her spit.

I can spit it out.

What's the point?

I'm giving you back
all the presents you gave me.

Broken ruler, broken pencil...

- What about the pencil case?
- That's the breakup fee.

No way!

Fatso, stop acting like a crybaby. Get lost!

Are you leaving or not?

You got dumped,
but at least you can act cool.

- You think you can get a girl in third grade?
- Yeah.

- What grade are you in then?
- Fifth grade...

Brother.

Ask your Romeo to go home.

Pierre, it's time to go.

It's late. I better get going.

Pierre...

Remember to wait for me at the junction tomorrow.

Okay.

There's no need.
I'll drive you to school tomorrow.

Love is always burdened with obstacles.

You're just a little girl.
What do you know about this stuff?

It's not just stuff. It's a relationship.

Relationship? Do you know that
it will affect your schoolwork?

I know, so I come first in my class
every year.

Alan, you were terrible at school.

You must've never been in a relationship.

I'll teach you a lesson someday.
Where's the cake?

It's all ready. Follow me.

- Eight characters.
- Money is calling me.

Don't win off her discard again.

I won't accept it.

What?

I'm going to do so even if you don't accept.
Self-draw. Double shot again.

Great, let's shuffle the tiles!

You little devils,

every time I win,
you come in and sabotage it.

Turn on the lights...

Turn on the lights.

- What now?
- What now?

- Let's have another round.
- Smart kids, good timing this time.

You never behave yourselves.

Never mind. Let's start a new round.
It's just a game, right?

Say it now.

Mommy, Daddy,
it's your silver wedding anniversary today.

- Silver wedding?
- What?

Right, Fung,
it's our silver wedding anniversary today.

Is it more important
than me winning the game?

Pay now...

What do you mean?
I didn't even look at your tiles.

- How dare you.
- Forget it.

- It's your silver anniversary today.
- Right.

How many years is a silver anniversary?

Twenty-five.

Old witch, we've been sleeping together
for 25 years?

It can't be.

Our youngest daughter
has the same birthday as Fai.

She's over 25.

Is there a story behind it?

Yes, there is indeed.

- Don't say it.
- It's not embarrassing.

- Back then, we didn't have...
- Don't tell anyone.

condoms.

Luckily you didn't, or we wouldn't be here.

How could you tell them this?

Mommy, come on, cut the cake.

You should've bought a square cake.

It doesn't look good without the corners.

- It's quite romantic.
- Yeah.

- Blow the candles out. I'm starving.
- Come on, blow them out.

Blow them out...

You spat on the cake, you fool.

Why do they put these two foreigners on it?

Slice it...

- They represent you two.
- I'm starving.

- Hurry up!
- All right...

How should I slice it?
It's neither a square nor a circle.

I'll do it. Just slice it
straight through the middle.

Hurray...

I told you we should've bought roast pork.

Remember to get a square one next time.

We can eat a few more pieces.
[t's more cost effective.

All right... Next time, I'll get you flour
so you can do it yourself.

- Come on, let's eat.
- Yeah.

- Here you go.
- Here...

- I want one!
- Let's eat...

Good morning...

Good morning.
Keep your noses to the grindstone.

What...

I mean, work harder.
You've studied Japanese for three months.

You don't even know this idiom.

Boss, Japanese is so difficult.

And our tutor is not a beauty.

You don't need to know Japanese
to get a Japanese girl.

Just thinking about the Japanese occupation
infuriates me.

Shut up!

You idiot, how dare you go against your dad
with your friends!

We're doing business.
Japanese is a useful language.

If you fail to graduate
the Japanese language night school,

you will not get a pay raise.

Everyone, do your part and do your best.
Never slack off.

- Danny.
- Yes.

- Keep your eyes on the cashier.
- Yes, Dad.

Boss...

You dumb kid!

If you do this again,

I'm going to beat you to a pulp.

- Thank you so much.
- Thanks.

There's a pretty girl.

It's my time to shine.

Mine.

Yours?

Everything in this shop

is apparently mine.

Then go for it.
I'll take care of the cash register for you.

A thief is more trustworthy than you.

Then why did you say that?

Everybody, stay calm.

Look.

Apparently, she's a difficult person.

Not everyone can get her hooked.

But I don't mind being a guinea pig.
I'll show you.

Just looking around is enough. Don't buy it.

What do you mean?

It will shrink and fade.
The zipper is broken as well.

For this type of jeans,

you can buy at least three pairs
in Kowloon City for the same price.

You're quite good
at ruining your boss's business.

Making friends is more important
than doing business.

I don't say this to everyone.

My motto is "Making friends is all about
honesty and sincerity."

I'm telling the truth.

So I don't have to bother looking?

Not really, we've kept away
some private collections.

Come on, turn around.

34, 22, 34.

It's close.

I have a good eye.

Oxy, get me the 22-inch waist jeans
from the private collection.

What private collection?

Just give him a random one.
He's just making that up.

He's really good at getting girls.

Size for the body, color for the eyes.

Let me see through your eyes.

I can see them.

They look like frosted glass,

brown with a hint of cloisonne.

They are like art.

Miss, these jeans will fit you perfectly.

Do you want to try them on?

There's no need.

If the size and color suit me,
I'll take your word for it.

I'll get the phone. It must be for me.

Hello? Who's speaking?

I'm your boss.

Lolita? What?

A movie date? Always On My Mind?
No, I won't go with you.

Just save your breath.

You want to know who I'm going with?

Is this Fai?

You really want to know?

Miss, what's your name?

Jo Jo.

Jo Jo.

Goodbye. If you are going to jump off
a building, find a taller one.

Women are so annoying.

I'm sorry that I used you.

That's how you treat your girlfriend?

No, I just thought
it'd be better to cut losses.

But I actually want to treat you to a movie.

No.

How about I treat you?

Sure. It doesn't matter whose treat it is,
right?

How much are these?

125 dollars.

Wrap them up, please.

Wrap them up.

Wrap them up.

How much does a premium seat ticket cost?

It has limited availability.
With you next to me,

I don't mind sitting in the front row.

That's not good.
Here you go, 150 dollars.

Keep the change.

Go get the ticket yourself.

Buy yourself popcorn
if you still have money left.

Incredible... Terrible...

He's here... Go get ready.

You really take your time
with your ice cream.

Listen, this is going to be
Prince Charming saving Snow White.

You've got to take it seriously
and make him a hero.

That's not going to work.

If I punch him, he will die for sure.

So, whatever you do, don't hurt him.

Yes, this matters the most.

Help!

Help!

Sexual harassment?

Stop!

Mugging?

Rape.

That's none of my business.

I didn't see anything.

Ready...

Run... Beat him...

I'd better run.

Kill him...

Tiger and crane boxing,
a great hawk spreading wings...

- Mantis stopping a car!
- The invisible mountain!

I'm outnumbered. I'd better run!

Hero, don't go!

Help...

- Why are you here?
- Why are you here?

Sir, you've got to help me.

No... I can't.

You refuse to help me?

I don't mean that. It depends.

If you go out now,
you'll run into them again.

Really? No thanks.

Ground floor?

A lot of them are still on the ground floor.

Then what should we do?

How about fifth floor? No one's up there.

Right.

Let's go.

Let's go.

Stop...

Gentlemen, take it easy.

Let's talk.

Let's reason together.

That's not necessary.

You think you're a hero saving the beauty!

Not saving the beauty
but having a run of bad luck.

So you still think you're a hero?

- Beat me!
- No, I wouldn't dare.

You're so strong.

Strong?

You're impossibly strong.

Your friend is very strong.

Don't beat me...

I don't know that girl.

Do whatever you want.

It doesn't matter to me anyway.
We go out just for fun.

Don't come near me! I'm armed.

I have many weapons.

Go over there!

Don't you come near me...

It's very powerful...

Powerfull!

Go get him!

You're doomed...

No...

No...

No...

Well done. Very well done.

Go lie down over there.

He's going to look like a hero.

Come on.

- Don't come near me!
- You're...

a hero.

They don't call me Master Ng for nothing.

You! Get up and we'll have another round.

Get up...

Get up!

Oh, no...

Now, listen, I didn't do it on purpose.

How dare you step on my most private part!

Even my mom won't let you off!

You dummy!

- Please...
- I'm going to beat you to death!

Liddo...

Stop! Let go of him. You're killing him!

Go away!

He's killing him! Go tell him to stop!

- Liddo, stop it...
- Don't stop me.

Uncle Chiu.

I'm going to kill him! Don't stop me!

Do you hear me?

Liddo, stop it!

Beat your dad if you want.

Beat your dad to death.

Your mom doesn't know this either.

It's complicated.
Let's discuss when we get home. Let's go.

Finally!

You coward!

Retreat without fighting.
You're not a real warrior.

Let's fight if you dare.

You think I was bluffing? You're so wrong!

Are you hurt?

Of course not. Do I look hurt?

Yes, but anyway, thank you for saving me.

You don't have to thank me.

Any man of integrity
would've done the same thing.

I just did it better.

Were you raped?

- Yes?
- No.

Then you're fine.

I'll go get my bike. Are you coming with me?

- 1...
- You're so indecisive.

If you run into them again,

just yell for me.

Wait up.

Yeah, that's right.

Shouldn't you be worried about
getting a ticket?

Have you ever seen the police
driving at 100 meters per hour?

Don't worry. Hold me tight.
[t's not even the first base.

Sit tight.

Where are you going?

Home.

You know where I live?

It's my home. I don't care where you live.

You know how to return the favor, right?

Though you don't have to do it right away.

If it weren't for you,
I wouldn't know what to do.

You would've been raped for sure.

Do you live alone?

Don't worry.

Life is so meaningless anyway,
I won't have any regrets if I die,

especially if you are there with me.

Let's make it clear.
I don't want to die just yet.

Did you just get dumped?

Where do you live, miss?

I don't want to go home.

I'm going to be honest.
Either you get off here,

or let me drive you home.

Well then, take me to my cousin's place.

What a bummer!

- You live here?
- No, there.

Thank you.

No worries. Have a good rest.

Bye.

How can I get in touch with you?

You know the answer.

Where did you make me
look like a fool last time?

The jeans shop.

I'm sorry.

Goodnight.

Hey...

What?

Take things easier.

There are a lot of good guys in the world.

Don't do anything stupid.

Why don't you ask me for my number?

Ask for your number? I don't usually do this.

Then, what's your number?

913602...

Don't call me unless
it's something important.

I hate being bothered.

He's been staring at the phone
the whole morning.

He's head over heels in love for sure.

Cracky? He's cracked.

Hey, man, don't do this to me.

Fortunately, no girls would call me here.

Oxy? He died from lack of oxygen.

You got it. I'm impressed.

Don't ask me to get the phone.

Should we tell the caller
that you killed yourself for love?

You dare!

He's not here.

It's for the boss.

Don't pretend that
you're not desperate to get the call.

Right, you don't have
to be ashamed for falling in love.

That's right.

Listen, I'm upset. I'm getting off early.

Hi.

Mysterious and complicated.

If you want to return the favor,

pretend that you can't hear
what I'm about to say.

Go for it.

A movie date?

I wanted to treat you to a movie last time,
though you turned me down.

You're now asking me out?
I'll have to think twice.

Try harder, I might say yes.

This teaches you not to tease
a handsome man like me.

You've got to seize your chance.

That's none of my business. You deserve it.

Can you stop staring at me?

Today I won't look at anyone but you.

Why should I believe you?

You don't?

I'm looking at you right now...
I'm going to keep you in my heart...

There's only you in my heart.

Hey, watch out!

It's fine...

Careful...

What's wrong with you?

I'm sorry... Sorry...

- Are you blind?
- Yes, I am.

I just saw you buying beer
and you tell me you're blind?

I'm sorry...

It's a miracle! I'm recovered.

I can see the world again!

See the world?

Here.

Do it again.

I'll do it.

That was so much fun.

The worse I hurt, the better it is,
as long as I don't die.

I'll leave you alone then.

Are you alright?

Love is amazing! I'm fine again.

I'm perfectly fine.

Here, come on, let's go.

On 24th of June,

they drove a truck to Sham Tseng
to eat roast goose with glass noodles.

A truck?

A truck?

It was a stolen truck.

I didn't know in the first place.

Young people these days don't think...

Are you saying that they don't think
about the consequences?

These young people are so impulsive,
ignoring the law...

Don't interrupt him. He's reporting to us.

- May I go on?
- Yes...

On 25th of July,

Alan Ng took Jo Jo
to a hotel in Kowloon Tong...

Hotel... a park next to a hotel.

They walked in the park and talked...

- and talked...
- Till dawn?

No, I fell asleep.

So I don't know what happened then.

On 26th of June...

That's enough.

I guess we can come to a conclusion, right?

Yes.

Alan Ng,

just as we expected, he's fallen in love.

Now we're going to move on
to the second stage...

boost his self-esteem.

That must be fun!

You're inviting me to a college reunion?

It's just an ordinary reunion.

But you seem a bit too old

to study in college, right?

I'm a college tutor.

That's better.

We both are wage earners.
At least we're on the same level.

Then remember to come tonight.

Sure, there'll be no fun without me!

But these parties all require formal attire.

I am used to casual wear. Would that be okay?

You can wear whatever you want.

I'll take your word for it.

As long as Alan Ng still feels inadequate,
we will succeed.

Fail

Hi.

Hello.

How are you?

What's going on with you?

I don't look too bad, right?

I've tied my white horse to that tree.

If you don't invite me in,
I'll break in through the window.

That way!

Sure.

- It's amazing, huh?
- You look bad.

- Hello, classmates.
- Why is he wearing a suit?

Hi.

You're late.

Of course.

I need more time to get ready
for your party.

They are all looking at you.

Your suit.

They dress too casually for the occasion.

But they are right.
Young people should be free-spirited.

-Come, I'll introduce them to you.
-Sure.

This is Professor Cheung.

Welcome...

Hello.

Mr. Chan, an engineer. Mr. Lee, an architect.

Doctor Wong. Ms. Leung, an accountant.

That's impressive...
All of you are young professionals.

It's a great honor to meet you.

This is...

Mr. Ng, a salesman.

We were just discussing a problem.

Great... Let's discuss.

We were discussing
how we should use Euclid's theorem

to calculate the deviance of Halley's Comet
traveling through space.

What are your thoughts on this?

It's too complicated, isn't it?

You should mind who you are speaking to.

What would you say
if he asked you about marketing?

Right, Mr. Ng, what do you sell?

I sell jeans. Do you mind?

I don't...
All professions deserve equal respect.

Of course, professions are like
the color of jeans.

Whether they be stone-washed indigo
or dark turquoise,

their texture is still the same.

Take you for example.

You're a doctor.
I'll come to you when I'm sick.

- You'll come to me when you don't have pants.
- Fai.

Let's go. See you.

Are you upset?

Am I?

I have something to say to them.

How about you go mingle with my friends?

Sure, but don't take too long.

I hate to leave you.

We can tell by his arrogance

that he's really self-conscious.

But I think that

we shouldn't hurt his self-esteem like that.

We're not hurting his self-esteem,

we're boosting it.

It's your turn. Hold out your hand first.

I can tell by your hand
that you've never had a job.

Avoiding obstacles will keep you
from being successful.

What do you study?

Medicine.

Forget it, even if you manage to graduate,
you can only be a vet.

How about invest in gold instead?

Listen,

one's fate is like a pair of jeans.

No matter what brand they are,

once they shrink,
you can't do anything about them.

- You... what is your major?
- Architecture.

- Architecture, right?
- Yes.

Architecture and jeans are closely related.

The buildings in the old days
had really tall stair steps.

It's impossible to climb them
if you were wearing jeans.

Until 20th Century,
the invention of the escalator...

It's 19th Century.

- I can't believe he said 20th Century.
- Yeah.

Anyway, after the invention of the escalator,

jeans became popular and prevalent.

Then, what does biology
have to do with jeans?

Biology? Rubbish!

Fai.

Hold on.

I'm having a constructive discussion

with them.

- What is your major?
- Psychology.

That's perfect.

I'm sorry.

She's such a character.
Falling in love with a girl like her

is quite a hassle.

Remember, women are like jeans.

It feels a bit tight
when you first wear them.

But then, it'll get better with time.

That's it for today.

I'm sorry. Give us a minute, please.

Your reaction tells me that

I embarrassed you in front of your friends,
is that right?

I don't mean that.

If you work harder
and spare some time to study,

you can be like them.

Why do you feel inadequate?

Inadequate? I dropped out of school at 15,

and dated a college student at 18.

I've never felt inadequate.

I know, you studied at college.

But you don't have to feel bad about it.

If you are happy in a relationship with me,

I think it'd be better for you
to forget about your background.

I don't really get the vibe here.

Are you going with me?

On the count of three,

one...

two...

You're gone.

I don't even have to say three.

How much does it cost?

How much does it cost?

How much?

Darling, go check on your son.

What's wrong?

I don't know what's happened to him.
He's been studying.

Studying is a good thing.

It's indeed a good thing.

He's suddenly become a different person.
I'm worried about him.

Right. We've raised him for years,
if he died now, it wouldn't be worth it.

Stop saying ominous stuff!

- This...
- Fai.

You are minding the store and studying.

Why makes you so hardworking?

Have all your stupid friends got diarrhea,

so they can't hang out with you?

Hello...

They are fired?

What did you say?

I see.

Yes...

How is he? Darling, what did he say?

Alan has become a secret agent.
He's learning to speak in code.

- Really?
- Yeah.

Are you out of your mind?

Don't joke about this.

I'm just kidding.

Welcome.

Alan, here you go, chicken essence.

You look like you're trying to come first
in the Imperial examination.

No.

I want to be the best salesman.

Love is amazing.
It can turn a rogue into a gentleman.

There's no point in studying at home.

You've got to let her know that.

It's on the second floor.

Thanks. Wish you success in your studies
and good health.

Weirdo.

It wasn't for you. Don't think too much.

- It's him again.
- Yeah.

Bad luck comes in threes.

From a psychological perspective,

psychologists aim to study

patients' mental health issues
and their pathological behaviors

as a result of those issues.

Do you mind if I sit in on your class?

Sure.

As a psychologist...

I've seen everything. I'm annoyed.

To know the cause of psychological imbalance

- and treat it appropriately.
- You hear that?

- You can tell that I'm furious.
- What we call psychological imbalance

refers to the emotional level...

Whatever it is, we'll talk later.
Just compose yourself.

I'll try to. But I've lost all my confidence.

We are easily mistaken
by patients' language and behaviors.

Ms. Kong, we'll do an experiment.

Sure.

You play the psychologist.

- And I need a student to play the patient.
- I'll do it.

Great...

I've been suppressing my emotions lately.

- Paul, come help us.
- Sure.

Move the tables? Sure...

When you first approach your patient,

it's best to make basic conversation
to express your care.

Ms. Kong, you may start.

Alright.

Why are you sad?

The saddest thing is that

I haven't had the chance
to tell you one thing.

You can think of me as her.

Tell me everything you want.

Are you trying to tell her that you love her?

No... it should be "Il love you,"

not "her."

Love is a feeling.

It's not only about words.

- Well said...
- Everyone, quiet...

I want to tell you

although I haven't been in touch
with you lately,

it doesn't mean that I don't want to see you.

That's because
I've been studying every night.

Now I can see an improvement in my studies.

I scored 82 points
in my Japanese language exam.

- 82 points!
- Impressive...

I just don't know how to say "Mango seed."

Great!

I don't know how you feel about it.

But I've been working so hard
just to match up with you.

To me, it's not difficult

to be an intellectual.

Your happiness is my only concern.

Love can change everything!

What's love got to do with you?

What do you know about love?

I haven't even asked you why you kissed her?

Fail

You shut up!
Technically, you are a sinner as well.

If you were in my village,
you would've been drowned.

- You...
- You get out!

Shut up if you are my chick!

Chick? It's a misunderstanding.

Jo Jo... It's just a misunderstanding.

Jo Jo!

How could I say that?

She's mad at me anyway.
I don't have to be nice to you.

You'd better watch your back, you pervert!

Don't act all cocky. I'm going to beat you
every time I see you.

Guys, sorry to bother you.

Jo Jo...

Let's make it clear.
Is it me who should be mad, or you?

Was it your fault or mine?

Alright... It's mine. Truce?

Watch where you are going!

I nearly got run over.

You have to be careful
when you cross the road.

Forget it, it's my fault.

It's all my fault, alright?

They are laughing at us!

Take it seriously! Love is not a game.

If you keep ignoring me,
I'll turn around and leave.

I'm really going to leave...

See? I know you still love me.

Jo Jo.

Go away, I don't want to see you again.

What do you want? You're pregnant.
We can get married.

I'm willing to be the father.
I can marry you.

What more do you want?

That's impressive, young man.
You're responsible. He'll be a good husband.

Yeah, arguments are common in a relationship.
You'll get used to it.

You hear that? Stop being mad at me.

How could you be so unreasonable?

I can't help you this time!

How could you do this?

What's with you, you witch?

You devil!

What's wrong with a wife slapping a husband?
Get lost...

Go for it. Slap me if you want.

If it makes you feel better, go for it!

I don't mind embarrassing myself
in front of you.

I don't mind making myself a fool.

Stop acting like a clown!

Can you stop letting me down?

Jo Jo!

I promise you I'll be better,
whatever you want me to be.

Two weeks ago, I only knew how
to say "I love you" in Cantonese.

But now at least I can say it in Japanese.

The meaning is just the same.

From now on, I will not be a clown,
but a gentleman.

- Was he that impulsive?
- Yes.

Yeah, you don't get it.

When young people fall in love--

They will do everything for love, right?

Yes.

That's true. When I was in a relationship,

my husband would beat anyone

who laid eyes on me.

That's true.

Someone would do that
even for a woman like you,

let alone a fine girl like Jo Jo.

Are you out of your mind?
I should've said Man A and Woman B.

As the proverb goes,
"A fine girl matches up with a gentleman."

Fine is a homonym--

Stop showing off your knowledge.
We are talking about love.

But I still think that love--

Sister Bai, when it comes to love,

we can keep our mouths shut.

Jo Jo is back.

Jo Jo.

I now announce that our experiment
is moving on to the third stage.

As of tomorrow--

Enough! I don't want to do it anymore.

From now on, I quit this experiment.

What's wrong?

Did he swear at you or touch you?

What's wrong?

Don't you think that
this experiment is very cruel?

Cruel? You mean it's cruel to him?

Not him, it's me.

I just don't get it.

You don't get a lot of things.

There's no such person? It's Jo Jo.

- Don't go. Calm down...
- Sorry, I have something to do.

Do you think I'm going to beat you?

I was in a bad mood last time.

I'm sorry if I offended you.

Let's forget all about it, alright?

Okay... But I really have something to do.
I have to rush back home.

Listen, please.

Have you seen Jo Jo?

I haven't seen her for two weeks.

Jo Jo? She's left.

- She got kicked out?
- Yeah.

Jo Jo experienced the same thing
when I was in high school.

We are really meant for each other.

- Bye.
- Bye.

You tell him, or I do it?

Go away!

Do I know you? I don't know you at all!

What do you mean
the experiment is terminated?

You are a moron...

You think I couldn't live without you?

There are plenty of women in the streets.

All I need to do is to snap a finger,

and they will flock to me.

Why are you blocking the road?

Move your car...

Fai.

Go away.

Don't think that I couldn't live without you,

that I would be sad and kill myself.

I never get upset for any woman.

Please go.

Give me some change.

I've prepared it long ago.

I know... It's just a break-up.

Love is that difficult.

It depends on how you handle it.

If you handle it well, you can be the player.

If not, you are getting played.

That's none of your business. Go away.

It wouldn't be my business
if you weren't my brother.

Sadly, you are my brother!

I just don't want you to embarrass yourself.

Am I embarrassing?

Go look in a mirror.

You think you are so smart.

But when faced with a bit of challenge,
you vent your angry on the game machine.

That's useless.
You have to pursue happiness yourself.

You're ashamed, huh?

Let me tell you a Shakespeare quote.

Shakespeare quotes?

Listen...

"You can choose to not love me,
but you can't stop me from loving you."

Well said.

I learned this in kindergarten.

Now that the world has moved on,
I can't be bothered telling you this.

There's a generation gap between us.

- Sir, I'm curious.
- What?

- How many flowers are there?
- 108.

- What for?
- To propose.

But why 1087?

Have you read about 108 Stars of Destiny?

108 symbolizes determination.
I do not fear obstacles nor sacrifice.

I will keep going no matter what.

Whether it be monsters, devils or ghosts,

nothing can stop me.

- What a brave man! I wish you good luck.
- What a brave man! I wish you good luck.

May your wishes come true.

My favorite girl is over there.

That's her!

Go...

Jo Jo, open the door!

Jo Jo!

Open the door! Jo Jo.

Open the door! Jo Jo...

I announce that

the last kindest man in Hong Kong...

is now proposing to you.

Whether or not you take these flowers,

I will take it as a yes.

It's a no...

Miss, I can't go in the ladies' room.

Can you please take these flowers to her
and tell her that I love her?

I don't mind taking the flowers to her.

But can I skip that latter?

- It's awkward.
- Yeah...

Miss, you've got to help me this time.

Please.

Do it for him...

Thank you.

- You should do it yourself.
- Yeah...

You are going to fail for sure.

He asked me to take these flowers to you.

And he said he loves you.

I don't want these flowers!

I told you. You've failed.

Hello.

Jo Jo!

Jo Jo, it's a lovely day.

Are you alright?

I know you still care about me.

Jo Jo!

- What are you doing?
- None of your business. Shut up!

Nothing can come between us.

I don't have much money. Wear this for now.

I'll meet you
at Ninety-Seven Restaurant tonight.

It's almost dawn.

Get me the bill.

Sir, are you waiting for someone?

I don't think she will show up at this time.

Please pay the bill first.

What makes you think she will not show up?

I'm sorry. It's my bad.

It's my fault. I'm sorry...

What a lunatic.

I told you.

There are two kinds of lunatics,

women who are in love
and men who are out of love.

They will bite you for touching a hair.

I thought it's his girlfriend.

I can't believe he's been waiting all night
for a fatso.

That's pathetic.

Fai.

I'm Priest Tam.

How are you? You've been waiting a long time?

Have you ever fallen out of love?

I never take it seriously.
I never fall in love nor out of it.

I'm going to be honest with you.

I fell out of love four times, in one day.

So I know how you feel.

I'll feel better if you leave right now.

Maybe I can't help you,
but you can seek help from--

Don't tell me it's Jesus.

Yes, it's Jesus.

He's really nice actually.

I don't know why so many people
misunderstand Him.

- Jo Jo asked you to come?
- Yes.

Then, please tell her
that I won't give up easily.

Fai, you might be upset for a day or two.

You've got to face the reality.
She's getting married.

Jo Jo asked me to return this ring to you.

In the Name of the Father, Son,
and Holy Spirit.

Amen...

Dear friends, we should love each other,

because love comes from God.

Everyone who loves

has become God's child and knows God.

Whoever does not love does not know God,

because God is love...

Go stop him.

Calm down...

I'm not here to sabotage the wedding.

It's a big day for me as well.

Young man, if you want to watch the ceremony,
you may take a seat.

I'm not here to watch the ceremony.

Don't worry.
I'm not here to sabotage your wedding.

I just want to say a few things

to make myself feel a bit better.

We went too far.

One day,

a girl came to my jeans shop.

She took a long time picking out jeans.

When she finally got one,
she walked over to me and said...

she wanted to change the front pockets
into side slant pockets,

the zipper fly into a button fly,

and add two pleats on the front.

I wouldn't get used to this kind of jeans.

But customers are my top priority.

She can make whatever changes she wants.

After I finished altering her jeans,

I realized they had become
the style of suit trousers.

I wrapped it up...

and gave them to her.

But to my surprise, she...

She said she never intended to buy them.

She just wanted to tell me...

what jeans should look like.

It doesn't matter to me,

though the jeans were heartbroken.

They asked me why she didn't want them

and what they had done wrong.

I told them...

what she wanted was a pair of suit trousers.

No matter how you change the style,

the texture is still denim.

She wouldn't want you.

She would never want you.

I think you wouldn't want
to wear these jeans.

But you can use it as a mop cloth
for the kitchen or bathroom.

Step on it whenever you want.

It can at least clean the mud
from your shoes.

If you think it's getting too dirty,

scrunch it up and shove it in the toilet!

Congratulations.

Your experiment is very successful.

You've got a highly satisfactory result.

But how about the consequences?

You don't give a darn to the consequences.

I can't live without you.

It's going to explode!

Jo Jo!

Don't go near it! What are you doing?

- Jo Jo!
- Don't go near it.

- Help him out...
- Jo Jo!

Come on...

How is she? How is Jo Jo?

How is Jo Jo?

This ring belongs to you forever.

It wasn't a bad idea, was it?

If it weren't for the fact that
there was a car accident,

you wouldn't have come up with the idea.

We've finally fixed it. It's like...

Stop talking nonsense.

- Let's go check on Jo Jo.
- Right...

It's alright.

Where's Jo Jo?

Is she a ghost?

I want a ride.

I was faking my death.

You... You had me completely fooled.

I have to give you a hug...

- Where are we going?
- Home.

You know where I live?

I don't care where you live.

We're heading to my home.

Alright.

I've hit the jackpot!