Joy (2015) - full transcript

♪Subs corrected by♪ XQ2☻♥

It doesn't make sense.

I don't understand how something
like this happened.

I don't know what I'm gonna do.

This has been my whole life,
and now it's gone.

I don't know what I'm supposed to do.

Pendleton Industries is
all I've ever known.

And now it's all been taken away.

When someone sees a weakness in me,
I turn that weakness into a strength.

Danica, you're so strong.

I don't think I could do
anything like this.



You can imagine changing your life

by fighting for the deed
to the land, Clarinda.

Which is only possible if Bartholomew
is no longer living.

You will never get
the deed to the land again.

I will never allow it.

Put down that gun,
you silly girl.

Watch your step, Bartholomew.

Ridge is on his way.

And he's still in love with Clarinda.

And Jared loves me.

Clarinda

it's true.

I'm here for you.

This is the story of Joy,
as told by me, her grandmother.



Everybody starts out with some kind of dream
of what life will be.

Joy's dream started at this metal garage
her father ran.

Jackie, Jackie, bo-backie
Banana-fana, fo-fackie

Fee-fi, mo-mackie
Jackie

My granddaughter had a best friend,
Jackie.

Joy, Joy, bo-boy
Banana-fana, fo-foy

While shivering in my shoes

I strike a careless pose

A half-sister, Peggy.

A dog.

It's OK. It's OK, Mitzy.

A father.

A mother

who is my daughter.

A grandmother. That's me.

She made many beautiful things
in her room.

Magic.

Some people love to make things.

They have the patience and the focus
to figure it out with their hands.

Joy was one of those people
who rejoiced in making things.

And I open the gate
to the big green meadow.

And I went into the forest.

And there, I conquered many dangers.

A wolf

and other scary things.

And then I started to build
my very own house

where I would live

and make wonderful creations
for all the world

to see and have.

And maybe for the prince and princess

who lived across the forest,
in the castle.

See?

And they were in love.

And maybe they'd invite me over

because of the things that I made.

You need a handsome prince.
That's what you need. A prince.

No, I don't need a prince.

This is a special power.
I don't need a prince.

My daughter Terry is separated,
and alone in her room

watching soap operas.

You can imagine changing your life

by fighting for the deed
to the land, Clarinda.

I have something for you.

Oh, Danica

You're so strong.

I don't think I could ever do
something like this.

I always felt it was for me
to encourage her.

So I said

You are going to grow up and be a strong,
smart young woman

go to school, meet a fine young man,
have beautiful children of your own

and you're gonna build wonderful things
that you do in your room.

OK?

What happened to this girl's dreams?

Watch this.

Mother, I can't find my lanyard for work.

They're not gonna let me through
airport security without it.

Joy, you can't find your lanyard?
Can I help you?

No, but I

Honey, listen.

I know life hasn't gone as we discussed
many times, sweetheart.

And you don't exactly have
your whole life ahead of you

but you still have a good portion
of it, anyway.

Hope springs eternal.

-Thanks, Mimi.
-Sure.

Mother, look what I did find.

What is that?

How can you ask what this is?

The dog collar I invented
in high school.

Remember Mitzy choked a couple of times?

So I invented a dog collar
with a quick release

so that a dog would never choke

and I covered it with reflective tape,
plus it's a flea collar.

I probably wouldn't be late to this job
I'm going to

if you'd gotten me a patent or a lawyer.

Joy the doer, Joy the doer.
You were always doing things, honey.

How could I be expected
to remember everything?

Now the Hartz company
has the patent to that collar.

I don't know how to get a patent.

What is that smell?

How did you get
yogurt down here, Mother?

I was wondering what that odor was.

It's starting to mold for Pete's sake.

Yes, I am, because I feel like I cannot
have the life bled out of me this way.

Joy, look who's back.
Look who's back!

Yes, Bartholomew is back.

No, no.

I thought Bartholomew was dead?

And I'm a ghost.

He came back as a ghost with
even greater powers.

Ghost, you go away!

My powers are even greater now.

I cannot handle this.
How is this possible?

Stay away from him.

Clarinda, you don't know
what a ghost can do to you!

Even from beyond the grave.

Grandma's gonna take you
to the birthday party, OK?

Five minutes.

Hi. What are you doing here?

I'm returning him to you.
I don't want him anymore.

What?

He's damaged.

He has no place else to go.

He's been living
in my house for two years.

Dad, I'm so sorry.

But you know,
Tony's living in the basement.

Your ex-husband shouldn't be living
in your basement.

That's not the proper way to be divorced.

OK. I don't know
where I'm gonna put you.

Dad, don't go in there. Mom's in there.

You can have him back, Terry.
I don't want him anymore.

What was so much better about
being with Sharon, Rudy?

Dad, don't answer that.

We went to the Metropolitan Museum ofArt.

-What did you like at the museum?
-What did I like? I'll tell you what I like.

I like the ancient Roman statues.
I like the medieval armor.

I like the Etruscan jewelry.

-Museums are full of dust and death.
-I like going to the café

having an espresso, a nice panini,
that's what I like.

You had a panini in a coffin, Rudy.

-A dusty, boring coffin. Yuck.
-Then why'd you ask me?

What are you, a crazy person?

It's like having a conversation
with an insane asylum person.

What else, Captain Jack?
What else was so great?

Captain Jack, you're calling me. OK.

Yes, you're Captain Jack,
the flying jackass.

Yeah, and you know what you are?
You're like a gas leak.

-We don't smell you, we don't see you
-I am not a gas leak!

-but you're killing us all silently.
-You take that back

and tell me what else you did
with Sharon!

You creature from the Black Lagoon.

No! This conversation is over.

-I'm leaving. Good luck.
-Oh, my God. Here it goes.

Watch out, Joy. He's gonna snap!

Please. You want me to snap.
That's your whole routine. You

Guard the china!

-Hey, Terry, you like this?
-Dad, no!

How's this for snapping?

-No! No.
-How's this?

This is snapping!

-Dad! Stop!
-He's disturbed, Joy!

He's a disturbed man!

-I'm disturbed?
-He's a damaged man!

You're right, I am disturbed.

You're the great disturber!

I'm sorry, honey.

I don't like this.

You're not supposed to see
this kind of thing.

I'm very, very sorry.
I apologize sincerely.

It's not gonna happen, OK?
We have other

I'm gonna clean all this up.

Dad, no. Don't clean it up.

Dad, stop. Just don't, OK?

Stop. I'll do it.
I just want to get you out of this room.

Thank you.

Hi, guys.
I'm sorry about all the yelling.

Mimi's gonna take you
to the birthday party, OK?

Hi, my sweethearts.

-You broke things again.
-He did break stuff.

I did break some things,
but Grandma was wrong.

So I was a little wrong,
but she was really wrong.

But Grandpa's gonna come stay with us
for a little while.

Yay!

A sleepover with Grandpa! Yay!

Sharon never separated the wash.
The whites were always gray.

But you have that magic touch, sweetheart,
so could I give this to you, please?

Yeah, I'll take care of it, yeah.
Just get your bag.

What about my ledgers and all that stuff?
My accounting books?

I got them.
I'll get them to you later today.

-I love you, Grandpa.
-Love you.

-I did your taxes, I did your W-2s.
-OK. Very important.

♪ Es trocito de vidrio,
es la vida, es el sol

♪ Es la noche, es la muerte,
es un lazo, un arpón

♪ Es un árbol del campo,
un nudo de madera

♪ Caingá, candela, matita pereira.

You suck!

What is he doing here?

Sharon brought him back

so he's gonna stay with us until he finds
a new love or a new place to live.

You know how this goes.

Joy, I can't have your dad here. [SP]

What do you want me to do, Tony?
I have to work.

I know, honey, but he's a nightmare,
we'll kill each other. I can't

I can't take any more of this.
Period!

Dad, up.

We'll end up killing each other.
I don't like this!

This is not the proper way to be divorced,
the two of you.

You're gonna tell me how to be divorced?

I'm a provider, Tom Jones.
I have my own business.

I help Joy with the mortgage.
What do you do?

You sing all night
at Angela Starpoli's club.

You get repeatedly fired
from Campbell's Soup.

OK, well I'm gonna divide
the basement.

I'm divorced.
I can do whatever I want, Rudy.

This is not the proper way to be divorced.

And I'm about to be late for work.

So please try not to fight
in front of the children, OK?

Especially not physically.

Rudy, you see this?
This microphone here?

You touch it, and I kill you.

OK. I'm leaving.

Please try not to kill each other
while I'm gone.

You've gone mad. This is all your fault!

Clarinda. Clarinda! Don't.

Clarinda, something terrible happened!
Stay away from him!

Oh, my God.
I thought I fixed this thing.

Nice job, Joy. Nice job.

Peggy? What are you doing here?

What's the matter with you?
Sending Grandma Mimi with her arthritis

to take them to their friend's birthday?

I'm fine.

They have a much better time
with me anyway, with Aunt Peggy.

But I wasn't stupid enough to get into
a bad marriage and have a couple of kids.

Don't bother your sister, Peggy.

I'm gonna talk to Dad about business.
All right?

You gonna come bring the books
by the garage later?

Yeah, I'm gonna bring them later.
He's in the basement.

I'm joking with you.

Yeah. I know.

Kids, we're gonna do
something fun later, OK?

We're doing something fun now.

Oh, we found your luggage
but it's in Cleveland.

So now we just need to get it back
to New York City.

I'm filing a complaint.

My husband needs his medication.

What's your name? Joy?

You don't seem joyous to me today.

Perhaps I am not so joyous today.

-Joy, I think you're getting demoted.
-Hi, how you doing?

Listen, I need you to speak
to the supervisor.

We're gonna be having some changes,
and you're gonna be going to the night hours.

-Night hours? Tom, I can't work night hours.
-And we're having cutbacks.

-I've got two kids.
-Joy, I'm sorry.

Good luck.

Bye, Susan.

I'm not paying for metal
that I haven't gotten.

On top of it, he said,
you know, he wants to get paid.

He doesn't send an invoice,
and he hasn't even sent the metal.

But why doesn't he just send the invoice?
Send the invoice, I'll pay him.

Yep. That's it. Send the invoice.

Hi. Dad, I want to thank you again
for helping with the mortgage.

Yeah.

I settled the accounts, balanced the books.

Thank you.

I'm sorry business is so bad, Dad.

I don't think that
that crazy gun range is helping.

How is that still legal?

-What can I do?
-After all these years?

They keep to themselves.

It's their property.
The police leave them alone.

Why? You think it's costing us business?

I don't think it's helping.

Well, if you wanna help, why don't you
come here and manage this place?

You know, I'd like to go the next level.
Put on a nice suit.

You know, go out there
and get some accounts.

Yeah, this is 9873.
Just checking my mailbox.

What is that?

Yeah, I have a pen. What is it?

13-14. That's it?

Thank you.

What was that?

It's a 900 number.

What's a 900 number?

It's, you know, a dating service
for widows and widowers.

Dating service?

You're not a widow or a widower.

What's the difference? I'm single.

I meet nice ladies.
Maybe we fall in love.

I have to fall in love,
or I'm not interested. You know me.

I know, Dad.

Sharon was no good for him.
It's nice for him to meet somebody new.

-I got him some new clothes, you know?
-OK. OK. It's good.

Hello? Is this 7633?

I love you. See you later.

Yes?

Bye.

Hi. This is 9833.

Hi! Hi, how are you?

What a nice voice you have.

Thank you.

-Oh, an accent.
-Yes.

I am from Italy.

Oh! Continental.

What is your name?

My name is Rudy, what's yours?

Trudy.

-Are you kidding me?
-No.

Your name is Trudy?

Yes!

Rudy and Trudy. I love it.

Let's figure out when we're gonna meet.

That's a good idea. Let's have dinner.

-I could come pick you up.
-Yeah.

I have a green Mercedes.

OK, 6:30? I'll be ready.

Ciao.

Good luck with your date, Dad.

Thank you. I'm excited.

What do you think you're gonna wear?

Polo by Ralph Lauren.

Did you have to use
the whole bottle of cologne?

Tony!

You smell like my grandmother.
He smells like my grandmother.

Hey, please. Don't make me tense.

Don't stress me out.
I gotta stay nice and loose.

-Now you're tense?
-I'm tense. You're making me tense.

-Guys, stop. Please.
-I'm making you tense?

My carriage awaits.

Have a great date.

Wish me luck.

You don't need it.

Joy, water!

Where are my cufflinks?

Mommy, come read to me!

Five minutes, Cristy.

Mother, again?

Yeah, you just sit right there.
Are you comfortable?

How many times do I have to tell you
not to clean your brushes out in the sink!

Danica thinks it's unladylike
to toss things in the toilet.

And I happen to agree.

Yeah? Well, why don't you have
Danica do your plumbing then?

Danica can direct her power
anywhere Danica chooses.

That is the power of Danica.

Oh, my God.

If this problem gets any worse

we're gonna have to move you
into a different room.

That means no TV.

That could be very scary for you.

Don't let that happen, Joy.
This is my comfort nest.

We're gonna need to get
a plumber in here.

What?

There's gonna A man in my room?

Well, I don't know any female plumbers
other than me.

Well, can't you fix it, Joy?

This has surpassed my capabilities.

Thanks, Joy.

"The cicada is a large flying insect
two to three inches long.

"It makes a sound of up to 120 decibels,
louder than some telephones.

"It lives half of its life above ground
evading predators.

This is the book you wanted me
to read to you, Cristy?

How did this book even get in the house?

Aunt Peggy got it for me.

She said the reason I like cicadas
is because they fill the air with sound

which makes the house less lonelier for me.

Aunt Peggy tells you how you feel
about the house being lonely?

Aunt Peggy tells me a lot of things.

Keep reading, please.

I don't want you
listening to Aunt Peggy too much.

OK. Why?

"The cicada,
a symbol of rebirth in many countries

"digs into the ground and stays buried
for up to 17 years."

That's such a random number.
Why 17 years?

It doesn't even say why.

I understand the four seasons in a year

but why would something
stay hidden for 17 years?

That's just unsettling.
I'm not reading this.

You're sleepy anyway.
We gotta go to bed.

I wanna sleep with Nana.

No, you should sleep upstairs
in your room.

I want Nana.

All right. Well, watch out.
There's a hole here.

Just going to lay down for a second.

I feel like I'm in a prison.

No, Bartholomew's the ex-con
in the story.

And Clarinda doesn't even know about it.

But Danica's onto him.

They all blame Clarinda
but Danica's gonna get to the bottom of it.

No. No.

Yes. It was you Clarinda.

I will get to the bottom of this.

You've made terrible mistakes.

It was Clarinda!

Oh.

Look who's here.

Look who's here.

Look who's here.

We are here today
to remember what was lost

seventeen years ago.

Do you remember?

Peggy comes with me.

Joy spends half the time with us.

We'll take her paper forest.

That's Joy's special thing,
and it belongs in this house.

No, I

Joy.

Joy, wake up!

Someone's been ringing the doorbell.

Jackie!

Oh, thank God! It's you.

What happened? I'm worried about you.
I don't see you any more.

You don't come to the PTA.

You know how my mom's always clogging the sink
with her hair from the brushes?

With the pipes in her room?

Yeah. She did it again.

Again?

Yes, and I had to
bash open a hole in the floor.

There's a huge hole in the floor
of my mother's room and I'm broke.

My father works hard.
He's had some bad breaks.

I hope he gets another girlfriend,
and he'll move out of the basement.

He's in the basement with Tony?

Yes. And they hate each other.

Yes.

It's a disaster.
They won't stop fighting.

I don't know.

But how are you?
How's the family? How is everybody?

Everybody's OK.

How's work?

My job, I could take it or leave it.

What happened to us, Jackie?

All the things
that we used to dream about.

I feel like they just keep getting
farther and farther away.

Remember the night of the party
where everything started?

The band was playing.

Everything was so exciting.

Joy, you came!

I'm so glad you came!
This is my boyfriend, Andre.

-Hi, Andre.
-Nice to meet you.

Andre, this is my childhood friend, Joy.

Come inside!

-Wow.
-Check my music class, accountant girl.

This is a class?

Yes!

Don't turn on the lights
'cause I don't wanna see

Mama told me not to come

-They're so good!
-They are! The teacher's band.

Mama told me not to come

Mama told me not to come

She said,
"That ain't the way to have fun, son"

"That ain't the way to have fun"

Mama told me not to come

Mama told me not to come

-Who's the bald guy?
-That's our music teacher.

And he has all this
This is his house?

-Yeah, this is his house.
-Wow.

He's from Venezuela.

-Who is that guy?
-Yeah.

That's the music teacher's son.

Oh, my gosh.

You're dancing. Here you go.

What am I doing now?

-You're dancing.
-No.

-Let me show you my father's house.
-What?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'm gonna be a singer.

Really?

Yeah. I'm gonna be
the next Tom Jones.

That's a big ambition.
There's only one Tom Jones.

I know, but you can't let the practical
get you down.

You gotta keep going to what you love.

That's true.

That's what my father taught me.

What about you?

I invented a dog collar

that I wanna get patented,
but I don't think it ever will.

I was valedictorian in high school.

I got into a college in Boston, but

I'm staying here because
my parents are getting divorced.

And to help my mom.

And I help my dad with business stuff.
Accountant.

Maybe your dreams are on hold right now.

No?

That's a nice way of putting it.

This song is gonna be
in the town musical.

We should sing it together.

I know I stand in line
Until you think you have the time

To spend an evening with me

That's really nice.

OK, go.

-No.
-OK.

And if we go someplace to dance

I know that there's a chance
You won't be leaving with me

He gave my girl a spring in her step,
just when she needed it.

What are we doing? Tony.

He got her to do the musical,
something she never would have done.

I know I stand in line
Until you think you have the time

To spend an evening with me

And if we go someplace to dance
I know that there's a chance

You won't be leaving with me

And afterwards we drop into
a quiet little place

And have a drink or two

And then I go and spoil it all
By saying something stupid like "I love you"

I can see it in your eyes
That you despise the same old lies

You heard the night before

You're so smart, you're so beautiful,
I I just

You could have married anybody.

You could have married a doctor, a lawyer,
a nice man instead of this

I don't even know what to call this guy.

Are you seriously talking about
this right now?

It's still not too late.

Dad.

Let's go.

Think about it.

Dad!

We are a loving family, a solid family.

I've been married to my wife

Now I have a speech.

He wasn't finished, Dad.

He's finished now.

I had two failed marriages.

The daughter from my first marriage, Peggy

has a lot of tension with the daughter
from my second marriage, Joy.

I was married to Joy's mother
for 18 miserable fucking years.

Dad! That's just mean! Sit down!

But I got out of all that.

And I finally met the light of my life, Sharon.

-To you, baby.
-Dad!

You're my guy.

I toast you.

Dad! Stop!

-Will you stop it?
-Rudolph, please! Enough.

-Are you happy now?
-Fairly happy, yes.

Look what I found.

The divorce glass.

Salud.

I give these kids 50-50 odds.

Salud, everybody. Have a good time.

Tony, wake up!

Please! Cristy hasn't eaten,
Tommy needs to be changed.

Oh, Cristy. What are you doing?

-Get up. I just told your boss you're going to work!
-But what did you lie for?

-Because you're gonna lose another job!
-No, honey, I'm sick!

You're not sick, you're hungover!

That's not who I am!
I'm a singer, that's what I do!

You're not making any money singing!

Get in your car right now
and go get your job!

You're trying to turn me
into someone I'm not!

I can't do this!
I can't do this, Tony!

I am losing my mind!

I don't wanna end up like my family.

Time moves forward.

Time moves backwards.

Time stands still.

Do I live up to my profile
or do I fall short?

Are you kidding?
You're a banana flambé with extra rum.

You're a trip to the moon
on gossamer wings.

Wow! You're so poetic and romantic.

It's true!

Just like my late Morris.

Morris. Now, he was American and you're Italian,
and your name originated how?

My name. My Italian name is Geltrude.

Geltrude.

And then he called me "Trude,"
and then became more American. "Trudy."

Trudy.

Why don't you come with your entire family,
on my late Morris' boat?

Bring the children,
bring the grandchildren.

Like a motorboat?

No, no, it's a sailboat. 55 feet.

-Wow. That's big. That is big.
-Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, I would love to.

We'd bring some nice food,
something to drink, that would be great.

Yeah, but not red wine,
because it might stain the teakwood deck.

It's very precious.

OK, understood. No red wine.

I got the red wine!

No, no, no, I'm sorry,
you can't have red wine on the boat.

No red wine, Tony. No red wine.

Why? It's a beautiful wine!

What's Tom Jones doing here anyway?
Who invited him?

He's here to help me with the kids.

I brought Peggy to help.

Peggy says mean things
about me to my children, so

I say nice things about you, too.

It's a beautiful wine.

You have an accent, too!

Yes.

Where are you from, paesano?

Paesano? Don't encourage him, please.

I'm from Venezuela, darling.

Do you know this song?

♪ Es palo, es piedra
(A stick, a stone)

♪ Es el fin del camino
(It's the end of the road)

♪ Es trocito de vidrio, es la vida, es el sol
(A sliver of glass, A life, the sun)

♪ Es la noche, es la muerte
Es un laço, un arpón

I can see why she still loves him!

Come on. Come on board.

-This is gonna be a disaster.
-Dad.

- Benvenuti a tutti. [ITAL]
- Cheers! - Cin, cin!

I dressed for boating but I didn't realize
how cold it was gonna be.

My late husband Morris, I met him in Milano
for a trade show for his swimwear line.

He used to say, "Sailing in the winter

"is the best comparison
to life in the world of commerce."

Oh, no!

Morris' teakwood deck!

Yeah. Grand adventure. Great.

Nice work, Tom Jones.

Trudy, I know that it's upsetting,
but wouldn't Morris say, "What a grand adventure?"

Yeah, you're right. No big deal.
He's probably laughing up in heaven.

We should have used paper cups.

No, but it's not the same thing.

You need a nice glass
for a beautiful wine, you know?

Oh, boy.

Look. It's a piece of glass
right in her hand.

Are you all right, honey?

Yeah, she's thinking of something, Tony.

One loop. One continuous thing.

She's talking to herself. It's strange.

Honey, you should go to bed.

If it was all one continuous loop. Yeah.

Hi, I'm Touissant.

Touissant? Who's this guy?

It's not for me. Is it for you?

No, it's not for me, man.

Oh, the plumber!

What's he here for?

What do you think? Terry.

Terry. Oh, Terry.

Oh, no, wait. What's going on?
What is this man doing in my room?

This is

-Touissant.
-Touissant.

Terry, Touissant.

Well, I mean, I've taped my show

and then, well,
exactly how long is this going to take?

Well, it shouldn't take more than a day.

What accent is that, Joy?

What country is that from?

-Haiti.
-Haiti.

Haiti?

It's French and Creole.

French and Creole.

Well, is there any way
Could you please put a curtain up here

so that I can come and go in my room
and watch my show while he's still working?

Of course. I have a stapler.

Thank you, sir.

You're welcome, mademoiselle.

Mademoiselle?

Good luck in here
and good luck with that.

Why don't you go to bed?

Go. Keep going up the stairs.
Go to bed.

I don't want to go to sleep.
I don't want to have that horrible dream.

Come on! You can't have the
same dream, twice. It never happens.

-It's impossible.
-That's not true.

I had the Peggy dream so many times
when I was younger

with the masks and the robe.

It doesn't make sense. No, no.

You can't have the same dream twice.
Maybe it's the

Rudy, she's thinking about something.

Maybe it's a good dream,
and she's working something out.

I don't wanna work anything out.
I just want a nice, dumb sleep.

Let's knock her out.
Give her a children's cough medicine.

-That's what does it.
-Is that safe?

No. It's not safe.

It's expired.

Go on, there. Knock it back, honey.

-No.
-OK, one more. Knock it down. Come on.

-Rudy!
-Do it, Tony.

-I don't know.
-Just do it. One more.

OK, one more.

Enough with this! That's it.
I'm gonna make her a hot toddy.

That's what she needs.

You're gonna intoxicate her.

It's all natural, it's all herbal.
Nothing strong.

I was kidnapped by another monk,
who was from Switzerland.

And it turned out that this monk
was a duke of a royal family.

I shouldn't say "was,"
because he still is.

Leave me alone.

I don't think we should let her
sleep on the stairs.

Let's just put it here in the couch, OK?

Seventeen years.

Think about it. We've been hiding

for seventeen years.

Seventeen years.

We used to make things.
Seventeen years ago.

Then, that all stopped.
What happened?

When you're hiding, you're safe

because people can't see you.

But, funny thing about hiding

you're even hidden from yourself.

Baby, what's the matter?

Tony, you need to move out
of the basement.

You need to get your own house.

What? Why?

Because I go out at night
and sing at Angela's club?

-Is that it?
-No.

Because we've been divorced
for two years.

We need to move on.

You need to move out.

Rudy, you need to move out, too.

What?

There's more room in the basement
for me now.

And another thing, Rudy.

Tomorrow, I would like to have a meeting
with you and Trudy at your office

to discuss her investing
in the manufacturing of my new idea.

No.

I'm still getting to know her
and falling in love.

I can't do that. I won't do that.

And what manufacturing idea?
What are you talking about?

I have always been there for you,
no matter what.

I didn't go away to school.

I stayed to help you and Mom
through the divorce and do your accounting.

I let you live here whenever you want

no matter what it is.

I am respectfully asking
for the favor that you owe me.

If you look into your heart,
you'll know that I'm right.

Cristy, I need to use your crayons,
your colored pencils and your paper.

Let's go to my room.

You're not gonna believe this.

So, you know that plumber
that you recommended?

Yeah, Touissant.

So I hire him, Terry freaks out,
completely disoriented.

Hasn't had a man in her room
for eight years, since Rudy.

Makes me hang a drop cloth.

The way I look at it

is that this is an opportunity
for you to invest in a new business

that'll mean more money for you.

Tell Rico, Dad. Number five's gotta go off.

Rico, number five, no, off.

Go off! Thank you!

It's a standard handle, 53 inches.

The sleeve connects to the mop head.

Now, this is where it gets complicated.

There's a clip
that connects the sleeve to the

I don't even know what to call it.
The "cup. "

Which is connected to the mop head.

So, when you pull up on the sleeve,
the mop head stretches

so you can wring it
without ever touching it with your hands.

The only thing we see
is this crayon drawings.

We can't make heads or tails.

We don't know what it is.

So, the mop doesn't hang loose, like hair?
Like a string?

It hangs, but not on loose,
open ends like hair.

It's one continuous loop.

-I don't get it.
-I don't get it.

-I don't get it. What's he doing here?
-What's he doing here?

He is the father of our children,
and my friend, and he looks out for me.

We're doing an invention.

Cheers.

Right.

Yes we are, Cristy.

It's very serious.

It's priority.

Yes it is.

And I'm helping.

Yes you are.

Ça se fait comme ça, in Haiti. [FRE]

Touissant is teaching me
how to speak French.

And the word for "industrious" is

- Travailleur.
- Yes.

At first I thought maybe
something scary would happen

like what happened with Danica
while she was kidnapped by a man

who turned out to be in hiding
from the royal family in Switzerland

and then she moved to Switzerland.

Of course, she befriended that man
and more.

Don't ever try and limit me, Joy.

And let me know if you want some
of this Chakalaka.

- Chaka. C'est "chaka."
- Chaka.

It's very good.

- A tout a l'heure
- Au revoir.

Hey, Rocky. Hey, Tom!

Take her inside the office.

-Hey, Tino.
-Hey, Joy.

I wanted to show you something.

So, will you help me figure this out?

I know that it has to be welded.
This part is supposed to twist.

1 2 3

4, 5, 6

What are you doing?

38, 39, 40.

All right. All right, Dad,
come over here and grab this.

Grab it right in the middle.

OK. There.

And go up, Jackie go down.

- You see it?
- Not yet.

All right. Here.

-How about now?
-No.

Well you're going to.

I don't see it yet, I mean

-You ready?
-Yeah.

300 feet of continuous cotton loops.

That's what I drew.

This is why I would like to ask you
for your investment, Trudy.

Morris worked 50 years
to earn his fortune, Joy.

Before he passed on to the next world,
he made me promise on his deathbed

that I would never be neglectful
with one dollar of the money

that he so carefully earned.

Therefore you have to answer Morris's
four questions of financial worthiness.

Are you ready?

I think so. Yes.

Question number one:

Where did you go to high school?

Plainfield Public High.

Question number two:
Who were you in high school?

I was valedictorian.

The smartest student in the school.

That's good, right?

Perhaps.

Joy might be a brilliant,
unrealized creator of commerce.

But on the other hand

it's equally possible that she is
a fatally flawed underachiever

doomed to a lifetime of failure,
disappointment, unfulfilled expectations.

You must admit, Joy

that your life, to date,
makes a stronger case for

disappointment.

I don't care about any of this.

It's not only risky,
but it's fiscally irresponsible

and doesn't make any sense, whatsoever.

Joy's never run a business in her life.

I've been running my father's garage
for the last 10 years.

Our father.

I have ventures that I'm planning
to launch here

at this existing business.

You never mentioned any of this

until I came to Trudy
to ask for an investment.

What's Morris's third question?

Are you prepared

within six months of commencing
this venture

to show adequate returns?

I accept your terms.

Don't do it, Joy.

What's the fourth question?

You are in a room,
and there is a gun on the table.

And the only other person in the room
is an adversary in commerce.

Only one of you can prevail.

Yet, you have protected your business
and Morris's money.

Do you pick up the gun, Joy?

That's a very strange question.

There is nothing strange
about this question at all.

This is money.

Do you pick up the gun?

I pick up the gun.

Good.

I'm going to remember that you said that

when I speak to my lawyer.

What did Trudy's lawyer say?

He did a worldwide patent search.

What's a patent?

A patent is like a law
that you get to protect your idea.

A lot of people patent their ideas

but only a few of them
actually get their ideas made.

So Trudy just wanted to be careful

Joy

I just wanted to let you know that
Touissant has almost finished his work.

And, um

You know, we really need to find
some more work for him.

-You want more work in the house?
-Yeah.

I have another big job I have to go to.

-What?
-Yes.

-Well, but we have real issues here.
-Sorry.

-We don't have money for that work, Mom.
-Well

OK.

Joy

What is happening to you, Mother?

I don't know what's going on.

Are you in love with Touissant?

I was feeling alone.

And I didn't even realize it,
you know?

And then

What did the patent search find?

Trudy just wanted to be careful.

And this guy found a man that's in Texas

who worked for another guy
in another country

where they have an idea
that might be similar to my mop.

What country?

Hong Kong.

The Hong Kong man
has a representative in Dallas, Texas.

The Dallas man was very reasonable
with my lawyer.

Hey.

So, this guy in Texas

We're supposed to pay him a royalty
on the patent as a protection, right?

Right.

To be safe from any claims.

Is that correct?

Please stop using the word "we."

None of this is your money
or your business.

But the same guy
also owns a manufacturing plant

that you guys say that it's cheaper
than any other place?

-Yes. In California.
-Yes.

A metal and plastic injection mold factory.

OK, so it's the same guy.

-He owns the patent
-This happens all the time in business.

You find the best partner. It's smart.

He doesn't understand business.
He doesn't know business.

-No, no, I'm the first to say that.
-I understand business.

Dad and I, we buy parts for the trucks
all the time at the garage.

Morris did it all the time.

One-stop shopping. It's the cheapest.

-But is that normal?
-That's how he made his money.

-Yeah, that's normal.
-Yes!

But is it normal, the same guy
who has the patent

is the same guy who has the manufacturing?

-Yeah. Make it best.
-Yeah.

-Yeah?
-Better if it's that way.

OK, and the lawyer?
Right? Morris's lawyer?

-He's good. Let's not make trouble.
-He's very good.

But he specialized in garment business, no?
Not manufacturing business.

Tony. Let's quit while we're ahead.

I know that you want Tony
to be your counselor, if you will

and I will respect that

as Tony and you should respect
what we're proposing

as the lawyer
for this whole business endeavor.

All right. The parts have arrived
from California

and we can start manufacturing here.

I have the first assembled mop.

I told you it was gonna be more refined.

And it is.

Father Martinez is here.

You need to set those women up
right now and get going.

They're gonna be so grateful
for the jobs, Joy.

OK. All right.
I'll go talk to those ladies.

Now I finally have jobs for them.

- Hola, gracias por venir, Padre.
- Hola, Joy.

Hola.

Hay mucha gente en nuestra
iglesia que necesita trabajo.

- y mis primas.
- Como estan?

Tengo trabajo por su gente,
(I have work for you people)

y consiste en coser
(sewing)

estas cabezas de algodón.
(these cotton heads.)

Asi... Mira.
(Like so Look.)

Muy facil.
(Very easy.)

And I'll show you guys how to assemble

I'm a little proud of you.
I gotta admit it.

But, it costs much more than $15,000
to make the first run.

I know, Trudy.

But with all due respect,
that actually wasn't my fault.

Look at this. More bills.

-What?
-Another bill from Gerhardt.

This guy keeps billing me
for his mistakes.

-That's business.
-No.

That's not the way I do business.

I'm calling this guy.

Gerhardt, I'm not gonna
keep paying for these parts

that it's taking you four times to get right.

That was your design.
You have to pay for those parts.

That's mold-making.
That's the process.

My clients pay when we figure it out.

It was not my design, Gerhardt.

It was your mistake. I'm not paying it.

That was your design.
You have to pay.

Did you just hang up on him?

This guy was supposed to be easy
and inexpensive.

He keeps overbilling us.
I'm not paying for it.

Nobody pay it.

I'm gonna fight it out with this guy.

Just assemble them and try to sell them.

Just put it in your window.
Let your customers decide.

My family's been going to you
my whole life.

Look, the big companies,
they pay me for my shelf space.

Maybe you can sell one of your mops
to those big companies.

And maybe they'll put it on my shelf.

It's expensive, at $19.95,
but it's the only mop you'll ever have to buy.

But I don't want people
to buy one mop for $20

and never have to buy another mop again.

I'd rather they keep buying our mops at $5,
50 times, 100 times.

Look, you were broke and bored.
You had an idea.

So what? Lots of people have ideas.

Go home.
Please, take care of your family.

Hi. Would you like to try a new mop?

It's the only mop
you'll ever have to buy.

-Hi. Would you like to try a new mop?
-No.

It's self-wringing.

You can remove the mop head,
throw it in the washing machine.

-No germs.
-No.

No.

-No?
-Look at that.

You want to just try it?
You could just try.

It can self-wring. See?
No other mop does this.

Come and try the brand-new mop!

-It's the mop of the future.
-No, thanks.

Want to try this mop, ladies?

-What's this?
-Hey, miss.

It's a brand-new mop.

You could wring it
without getting your hands dirty.

I don't think so.

Come on. Try it.
It's the mop of the future.

Self-wringing, huh?

Yeah.

All right. I do like the idea of that.

I hate having to touch the mop head
after I get done cleaning the bathroom floor.

I always think that's disgusting,
you know?

It's so gross.

Wow. It really does get all the corners
that my sponge mop won't get.

All those crannies
where my kids spill their juice.

I really like it. Can we buy it?

Take it easy, Cristy.

Wow. I mean, that's just amazing.
You really don't have to touch it.

Look at that.

You know what would make this perfect

if you could remove the mop head,
put it in the washing machine

-Really get it clean.
-That'd be great.

-You can.
-What?

Are you serious?

-Well how much is this mop?
-It's $19.95.

No, that's too much.

But I guess, I mean, if it is the only mop
that you ever have to buy

I mean we keep buying those
$5 mops.

-Hi, Daddy.
-Hi, sweetie.

You, you remember Angela?
And her two brothers, right?

I do. Hello.

-Mommy, the policeman.
-Ma'am?

Did we break the law?

-I'm taking this merchandise.
-No, no. We're leaving. We're leaving.

-Now, I'm gonna let you off with a warning.
-We were just leaving.

No. Sir

If the customers can just see
what the mop can do

But if I catch you out here again,
you will be prosecuted!

Well, where do I go?
Sir, please!

-You cannot sell on Kmart property!
-I made those mops myself.

-I paid for them. Please.
-It took a lot of work.

I won't come back,
but you don't have to take my stuff!

Please!

-Are you even allowed to do this?
-How embarrassing for you

to be seen here like this
with your daughter.

-What kind of parent are you, huh?
-Yeah, Tony.

-Enough.
-Hey.

Hey, hey, guys. Guys

-All right.
-Come on.

-Let's go.
-Tony, let's go.

Yeah, I'm coming. I'm coming.

Cristy, honey, it's OK.
Your mommy's OK.

This stupid thing.
This place is falling apart!

No No.

Honey, the telephone isn't working.

I know. I just got the notice.

I had to go next door to use the phone.
Tommy's got a fever.

Tommy has a fever?

Simple cold with a cough.
It's going around. All the kids have it.

Thank God the heat's still working.

Mommy, why isn't the phone working?

Because I'm late on paying the bill.

-Are we gonna lose our house?
-Not you too.

No, we're not gonna lose our house.

Come on. Get upstairs. Get in the bath.

Listen to your mom and get
right in that tub.

-I don't want a hot bath.
-I don't care.

Cristy, you get in that hot bath.
Listen to your mother.

I don't want you getting sick too.

Lauren Wells said you're a cleaning lady
and sell used mops.

Lauren Wells said that?

Yeah. And it really hurt my feelings.

First of all, even if I was
a cleaning lady, so what?

There's no shame in hard work.

And second of all, you know, I'm

I'm trying to sell a new mop,
not used mops.

And third of all,
don't take any guff from anybody.

You know, don't let it in.

I know it's hard.
And I'm sorry that happened.

Now get in the bath.

Come on. Go to sleep, honey.

Joy?

Not now, Mimi.

Joy, wait, wait.
Just tell me what happened today.

I want to know how it went.
Please, I want to know.

It was a disaster.

But you must never give up.

Ever since you were little,
you were born to bear

Born to bear what, Mimi?

Failure? Disgrace?

Humiliation in front of my daughter?

You were born to be
the unanxious presence in the room.

And I know that I'm gonna live
to see you grow

to be the successful matriarch
that you were born to be.

Matriarch

To be a mother with courage.

Who can't even support her children.

Sweetheart.

What are you doing here?

I have this idea.

-A guy I know.
-What guy?

He used to work with me.
And now he works at this big retailer.

A new way of doing business.

I mean, it's worth a try.

You would do that for me?

Of course.

They were the best divorced couple
in America.

Much better friends than they were
husband and wife.

I can get you a meeting with him.

Where is it?

But I don't understand
what we're doing in Amish country.

They don't even have electricity out here.
How could they sell anything on TV?

It has nothing to do with Amish people.

It just happens to be located here.
I looked it up.

In Amish country.

Amish.

What?

-Amish.
-Amish.

Sign in, please.

We're here to see Marv Brickman.

OK.

Marv Brickman, does he know who you are
if I call his office?

Of course he knows.

We're friends. We used to work together.

QVC, please hold.

But Tom was wrong about that.
He was wrong about the numbers

Tony.

Marv. How are you?

I can't see you today.

Why?

Maybe tomorrow if you can stay in town.

No, we left the kids at home.
We can't.

We can't stay until tomorrow.

Listen, you can't just expect
to come in here and see someone.

Hey, did you take care
of that advertising thing?

-Yes, I did.
-Good. All right.

What's going on here?

-This is my good friend, Tony.
-Tony Miranda.

We worked together at Campbell's.

Neil Walker.

-And this is his ex-wife.
-Good to meet you.

-Joy.
-Hi. Neil.

She's an inventor.

She wanted two minutes of your time today,
but, Neil, don't worry about this.

-Maybe tomorrow.
-You know what?

Why don't you come in for five minutes
while the sales group's still here.

-OK. Hold my bag.
-Neil, are you sure?

-Yeah.
-Yeah, absolutely.

Thank you.

-Got everything?
-Yeah.

Great. Thank you, man.

Thank you.

So tell us your name, please.

I'm Joy.

And what would you like
to show us today?

I have a self-wringing mop.

Just

Do you need some help?

No. No, no.

All right.

That's my shoe.

Oh, my goodness. I am so sorry, sir.

Sock's wet.

Do you mind?

Sorry.

Is that plastic?

Yes.

Arnold, why don't you give it a try?
Is that OK?

Yes, of course.

Just dunk it.

-I dip it?
-Yes.

And then I twist it?

But you pull
You have to pull it first.

-Pull it and twist it.
-You got to pull it first before you twist it.

-I'm pulling it and
-Pull and twist.

and I am twisting it.

Pull and twist,
just like when you're on the road.

We don't mean to be disrespectful, Joy.
It's the end of a long day for us.

I feel like I want to tell you
a little bit about who I am.

Because I have a feeling you don't know
exactly where you are right now.

Am I right?

Ten months ago

a man named Barry Diller
called me from Los Angeles.

He started a television network.
Fox television channel.

And prior to that, he ran 20th Century Fox,
among other studios.

And he acquired a little cable channel

right here in Lancaster, Pennsylvania.

And he hired me to run it

as a bigger idea.

Now, I'm from Detroit, Michigan.

I ran America's largest, most affordable

successful, value-driven retailer.

Chain called Kmart.

Prior to that, I was a buyer for Kmart.

And prior to that,
I managed seven separate Kmart stores.

I decide what products
we let into our stores here

into people's homes, 24 hours a day,
for our valued customers.

I choose very carefully
and very conservatively.

I spend most of my day deflecting
incoming shots from people like yourself.

You see that chart?

This green line either rises
or stays the same each month.

There's no problem
with my product choice.

Do you know what QVC stands for, Joy?

No, I don't.

Quality, Value, Convenience.

I sell product affordably,
but I don't sell cheap product.

And your mop is plastic
and it looks strange.

I don't know anything about charts.

Or

business, frankly.

But I do clean my own home.

And I made this mop

because it is better
than anything else out there.

Please give me a chance.

I like that it's plastic

because it's so light in my hands,
it's like nothing.

It's also ten times more absorbent
than any other mop on the market.

Why?

Because of 300 feet of continuous
cotton loop that I looped myself.

That is an enormous amount of absorbent cotton

on a very small mop head.

Now I'm done with the bathroom,
and I haven't wrung the mop once.

Let me ask you a question.

Would you take this mop

where you were
just cleaning the bathroom

and around the toilet,
and all of those germs

and take it into the kitchen

where your family eats,
where you feed your children?

I take this mop head,
I put it in the washing machine

it comes out clean like new.

You can't do that with any other mop.

-So
-Stop.

Can you make 50,000
of these mops by next week?

Yeah, I think so.

David Selznick, the son of immigrants

married Jennifer Jones from Oklahoma,
America's sweetheart.

That just goes to show you
that in America

the ordinary meets the extraordinary
every single day.

Thomas. Where are you going with that?

The skinny pants you wanted.

I never said "skinny pants."
I said, "stovepipe." Classic look.

I heard "skinny pants"

You know how much I love the stovepipe.

-Stovepipe. Classic. Got it.
-Got it.

-Fine, we'll go for stovepipe.
-Thank you.

See those guys? I told them so many times
and they still don't understand.

A very smart guy once said

"You tell somebody something once, they don't listen.
You tell somebody four times, they don't listen.

"By the ninth time you say it,
they begin to hear you."

That's why we're on 24 hours a day.

That's why, with the people who I have
to tell about the stovepipe.

Music in the makeup rooms?

Yeah, I thought it'd
give a sense of place, Todd.

But if you don't want it,
you can always turn it down.

You're our biggest seller, Todd.

Whatever you need to make you comfortable.
You're who we care about.

You're our number-one seller.

-What?
-Oh, no.

He's your number-one seller?

No, no, no. Cindy, please.
You know that we love you.

Oh, for heaven sake.

She's never had a professional attitude.
Clearly, she's jealous.

But could you do me a favor?
Make her your friend.

Could you just do me that favor, Todd?
Please?

For me?

-Yes, sir.
-Thank you.

This is Joy. She has a very exciting new mop
that we're gonna introduce next week.

I would like you to launch it.
You're my first choice.

A mop?

You want me to bring this newborn
into the world?

That newborn that you're holding is
every cent, every dollar, even debt

that I've ever made.

Every cent you've ever made?

That's right.

That kind of pressure is not helpful.

-What?
-No

It's not part of my process, either.

Oh.

-Todd
-I didn't mean to pressure you, Todd.

-Performers can be finicky creatures.
-He's very sensitive.

He is our number-one seller.
He is selling everything through the roof

in numbers we've never seen before.

I take it very seriously.

I see it as a privilege that we have
to go into people's homes.

And I despise anybody
who's cynical about that.

Jack Warner wasn't cynical about that.
Darryl Zanuck wasn't cynical about that.

And Neil Walker is not cynical about that.

Let me show you the stage.

I believe eventually, one day

television will even be
by and about actual regular people.

Maybe even on computers,
24 hours a day.

Who knows?
Nobody thought this network would be real.

And here we are.

-By the way, stock's going through the roof.
-What?

Must be mindful of Joan's dog.

Who's Who's Joan?

Thank you, darling.

You're never gonna make it
in a man's world dressed like that.

Mr. Peepers, you were almost
a Peepers pancake.

It's a round stage that has four
or five different sets that rotate...

depending on what we're selling
at a given moment.

The clasp is part of the necklace. See?

Look at the quality in this clasp.
That's what we do.

Absolutely exquisite.

Here comes Joan and Cindy.
Watch this.

These guys are major.

Joan's the original seller.

If you're just starting your jewelry wardrobe,
can you do anything better than this?

You're gonna mix in your blacks,
your golds, your pearls.

-Everything.
-Everything.

Look at it against the peach. OK?

-Look at that.
-Morning.

-Look at that.
-Green. Afternoon.

-Look. Black, night.
-Black, evening.

-Of course at night.
-I mean, can you be more elegant?

So it's functional. Elegant.

You can wear it alone.
You can wear it What I love.

See. Stars and people,
they always make the mistake.

They think it's about the face,
but it's not.

It's about the hands.

Because that's what people use.

They hold things they care about.

And her hands are gonna become
their hands.

And that becomes them.

And then their voice,
and then their eyes.

Stars always make the mistake.

It's really about the hands and the voice.
That's the heart of it.

Number J-6276.

A $100 value.

Are they not phenomenal?

-Now watch this.
-These can be yours.

-Cindy's gonna lay this down right
-But you need to call in right now.

$39.99.

now!

You need this. You can get this.

You need to call right now, though.

-I'm being told we have limited quantity left.
-Watch the calls come in.

Watch them. Here they come.

For $39.99,
you might as well get several.

Calls coming in now.

Calls. Calls.

Calls. Calls. Calls. Calls.

Look at the count.
I guarantee we're gonna go over twenty.

Those are FTC standards.
Those are legal.

Those are coming in. Keep your eyes
Those are actual sales, Joy.

Lines are busy?

-Is the queue full?
-Queue's full.

OK. We need a phone call right now.

When they can't call through,
we gotta keep them watching.

Did we get a call? Did we get a call?

OK. Got it.

Keep this going. Phone call right now.

Wait, wait, wait!
We have a caller! We have a caller!

Sharon from Colorado. Hi, Sharon.

Hi, Sharon.

Cindy and Joan!
I can't believe I'm talking to you!

Are you happy with your necklace?

These necklaces are so gorgeous
and timeless.

-My great-grandmother had things like this.
-Yes, yes. Keep it going.

I am so excited to have these.

Keep it going. Yes. Yes. Yes.

Get one for your mother.
Get one for your sister.

Watch the counter, Joy. Joy.

-You will not regret owning this.
-No, you will not.

See those numbers?

We're gonna wind up at 25,000.

Cindy knows how to close it.

Wow.

OK, I want you to go home,
I want you to call your lawyer.

Look at your contract.

Make sure your product factory
is in line.

-OK?
-OK.

OK, Godspeed, good luck.
Here we go. I'll walk you out.

You can't expect Trudy to write a check
for $200,000 for 50,000 mops

when you already owe her $18,000
to make mops you haven't even sold yet.

Do you understand that there is a business
that wants to sell my mop on television?

It's going to sell.

Fine. You feel so strongly about it,
you put up half the money.

Yes. It's only fair that you share
the financial risk, too.

How's she gonna do that?
She's got nothing. She's got no money.

What, do you want me to take out
a second mortgage on my house?

They want me to take out
a second mortgage on my house.

A second mortgage?

But the house, the kids, Joy.

What's gonna happen, Joy?
How would you do that?

I don't know.

-Hey. How you doing?
-Hey.

You know I've been watching you
through that fence since you were a little girl?

-Yeah.
-I've been watching you grow up.

-Hey, listen.
-What?

You think it would be OK if I

-You wanna fire a few rounds?
-I do.

Yeah. Might make you feel better.

Thank you. I think it will.

-You know how to hold it?
-Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

OK. Sure.

Good.

Good.

Good.

Good.

This is it! Oh, my gosh.

Get ready. This is definitely
gonna change the holidays

for anyone who has a floor
or a bathroom

because we have the most exciting
new home product in years.

Yeah!

This is the new self-wringing mop.

OK, OK, OK!

It's the new standard in homes,
right here.

Let's take a look at this.
This is brought to you only by QVC.

Now, this is clearly extremely
soft and absorbent cotton.

There we go.

You just take this, and you

start

I'm not sure.
This is a little trickier than it looks.

Put it

Well, it's getting my arm wet, here.

Let's see. We got no sales here.

What happened?

Is there a call?

So there... So there are no calls.

All right.

And we do not have any sales still
so here's what we're gonna do.

We're gonna move on.
Now, we're gonna move on.

Cindy is gonna talk to Sarina Kimball,
former star from Falcon Crest and Dynasty

and she is gonna tell us
all about her new line of gowns.

These are my special occasion gowns

"Special." How a propos.

that were inspired by all of the times
that I was in Dynasty and Falcon Crest.

That is absolutely amazing.

I want you to pan in. Look at these.

-Look at the detail.
-Look at the detail.

Look at the value in that.

About how many sequins
would you say that is?

That's it?

-That's all?
-No, it's over.

That's how fast it happens.

No, they're gonna give her
a second chance.

No, they're not gonna give her
a second chance.

That's not what's gonna happen.

They're going to give her
a second chance.

-Why do you have to be so negative?
-They will.

$200,000!

50,000 mops.

Now, this is easily one of my favorites.

She's wearing the black and gold

Joy.

Hello?

5,107 sequins for

Get this. How much?

$299.

I'm sorry the product didn't sell.

That man didn't know
what he was doing, Neil.

Well, it wasn't the man, Joy.
It was the product.

I made 50,000 units
because you told me to.

I mortgaged my house,
I'm in $200,000 of debt. More.

Well, it's your business.
It's your debt.

And we indemnify up to a third,
if you read your contract.

To be honest,
that's even gonna be hard to get.

Neil, you gotta give us another chance.

I'm so sorry, Joy.

I just can't bring it to my boss.
I can't.

I can't accept your answer.

I can't, and I won't.

Joy, you have to let Trudy
report this loss in bankruptcy

because otherwise she's gonna
hemorrhage even more money.

You have to file, too

because you mortgaged your children's future
and you lost

and you have to
prepare yourself for that.

You have to file for bankruptcy.

I warned you so many times, Joy!

Dad, I warned you
to not spend her money!

Come on! You've been plotting against her
from the very beginning, Peggy!

Now we're bankrupt, Tony!

I'm in a meeting with our lawyers.

What do you think you're doing?

"Go home, Joy, and watch the numbers
roll in on television.

"Make 50,000 mops

"borrowing and owing every dollar,
including your home."

It could have been handled better.

I'll let Todd have another shot.

I don't want Todd
or anyone else to try it.

It should be me.

We don't have regular people.

We have celebrities or spokesmodels
do the selling.

I told you this.

Who showed you the mop?

Who sold it to you?
Who taught you how to use it?

And who convinced you that it was great
after you thought it was worthless?

Excuse me, can you give us a second?

Come with me.

You ever been in front of a TV camera?
You comfortable in front of a TV camera?

Because when you get there, there's lights
and there's camera, and people freeze up.

You said to me that David Selznick,
the son of immigrants

married Jennifer Jones,
an all-American girl from Oklahoma

because in America,
all races and all classes

can meet and make
whatever opportunities they can.

And that is what you feel when you reach
into people's homes with what you sell.

You said that.

What do you think? Looks great, right?

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Beautiful.

Very vogue, very classic.

All right, if you come back next time
Lori? Lori?

I just want you to just put the hair a little bit forward,
just like that, if she comes back again.

OK? Not with the comb,
not with the comb.

-Try the black.
-OK.

OK?

It's gonna be perfect.

Wow.

Beautiful. What do you think?
How do you feel?

I'd like to change just one thing.
Would you mind?

-OK, surprise me.
-Small thing.

I'll surprise you.

OK, surprise me.

What would the small thing be
that she changes?

What?

You undid the whole thing.

This is me.

This is you?

You've got the exact same outfit
you had when you came in here.

I wear a blouse and I wear pants.

That's who I am.

I want to go on as me.

Gonna go on as you.

I hope you make it back.

Joan, Cindy. Say good luck to Joy.

-Wow.
-Wow.

You look great. Good luck today.

-Thank you.
-Good luck.

That's her, that's how she is.

Blouse and She should be in a skirt.
She's got nice long legs.

Show her legs.

Good luck.

Joan Rivers wants me in a skirt,
but I'm gonna do pants.

Do what you want to do.

Come on, let's go upstairs.

Are you nervous?

Yes.

Just be yourself.

Just remember, it's all about the hands.

Here we go.

Ready Stage is moving!

Household product 375 in three, two

What are you doing? Come on.

Go! Go!

She's freezing.

Sorry, these lights are so bright.

Nobody tells you how bright these lights
Well, Neil did tell me.

Neil is my boss. Here.

I should thank him
for letting me be up here.

-Sorry.
-You're Joy.

I am Joy.

Just say something!
Talk about the mop!

Oh, my God.

We have to do something.

We have to do something.

Do we have a call?

-Could we go to a call?
-We have a call.

-It's a friendly call?
-It's a friendly call.

OK. Take it. Take it.

Joy, we have a call.

A call? How did that happen?

Well, we have a call.

Hi. Joanne from New York.

Joanne from New York.

We have a call coming in
from Joanne from New York.

Yeah, I'm calling in because I would love a mop
that I don't have to touch when I wring it.

You know, my hands get raw
and when I mop broken glass

and I wring the mop, I cut my hands.

Do you ever cut your hands
when you're wringing?

Joanne, that is so funny
that you said that.

That is actually exactly how
I was inspired to invent this mop.

There was glass shattered everywhere.
I was with my two kids, with my father, and I

Every time I would wring the mop,
I would get glass shards in my hands.

And the old mop
just wasn't very absorbent.

So I went to my daughter's room,
and I borrowed her crayons

and I designed this mop.

Make sure you get down there.
Yeah, that's it.

It's made of plastic, so it's lightweight,
but very durable.

Go in. Go in to the hands.

It's extremely absorbent

with 300 continuous cotton loops

that I looped myself
when I designed it.

-How much is it?
-It is $19.95.

I like that price.
I want a whole bunch of them.

Thank you.

H375. That's the order number.

Household item 375.

I guarantee you

That's it. Stay right there.

you are not going to find
another mop like this that exists.

If there was, I would have bought it
and I wouldn't have cut my hands up.

You can get across the whole kitchen
with one wring. Just imagine that.

Watch this.

Chocolate syrup.

Go the syrup. Go the syrup.

Baby food.
A very big spill at my house.

Very common spill for me.

No. Hands, hands.

Now, the biggest difference,
I don't have to touch this disgusting mop head.

There's not another mop on the market

that has as much absorbent cotton
as this mop right here.

And I guarantee you,
there will be no regrets, no returns.

I have been mopping for most of my life,
every single day.

Phones are ringing!

I cannot tell you how much
this mop has changed my life.

-Phones are ringing! Phones are ringing!
-The phones are ringing. The phones are ringing.

Go.

This is gonna be the greatest mop
to have around Christmas time

when you have family over

I am a mother of two.
There is just spill after spill.

Family comes to town.

You can mop your entire kitchen
with one wring!

Oh, my God! 29,000!

This is very special!

I haven't even told you about
my personal favorite feature

which is the removable mop head

that I can put into the washing machine
and it will come out clean as new.

Yes! Yes!

Oh, my God, these numbers keep climbing!

Thank you. I

Yes, that's right. Keep it going.

Thank you.

This is the most absorbent
mop on the market. It's lightweight.

It's the only mop that you're ever gonna buy,
the best mop you're ever gonna use.

It is lightweight and durable, and that is
just me speaking from my experience.

As someone who mops their house
every single day, from my heart.

This woman's gonna be
a whole new business.

No way.

Oh, my God.

Can you believe it?
Can you believe it?

I thought for sure you were gonna tell me
that your counting machine was broken.

I listened to you. You were right.

I just can't believe
that actually happened.

I know.

I guess you could say
we're friends in commerce.

Friends in commerce.

Yeah.

Let's promise each other that if, one day,
and that day may come

that we become adversaries in commerce,
that we remain friends.

Because that's a true friendship indeed.

Friends in commerce.

I agree. Let's shake on it.

We've got 10 looms

and then when they're completed,
this is where the mop heads are sewn.

Who makes your parts?

A factory out in California.

It was cheaper and faster
than any place around here.

Smart. Are they gonna be able
to stay on schedule?

Yeah.

One time.

-Right there.
-Thank you.

-You're welcome.
-Right here?

Hello?

Mimi.

Mimi.

I so hated to leave her that day.

I had so much I wanted to say to her.

And to my great granddaughter.

I felt I wanted to stay near her
and watch over her.

Cristy.

There's a problem in California.

There can't be a problem in California.
I told Neil that everything was fine.

Gerhardt keeps raising his price.
He just did it again.

More money per unit.

He can't do that.
We're gonna lose money.

I sent a representative to handle him.

Representative?
We don't have a representative.

What representative?

Peggy went.

Peggy?

I don't want to talk about this
right now.

She wanted to be part of it.

How could you send Peggy?

She wanted to be part of it.

You both are blood relatives.
You're half-sisters.

It's very, very important
that you love and respect each other.

I paid them the 20
that you owed them. I had to.

I got them to fill the order
of the 100,000

with a price increase
of only two dollars per unit.

We can't increase at all, Peggy.
Don't you understand?

We sold at a certain price.

Any hikes,
especially the ones he's asking for

mean that I will lose so much money

that I'll be in even more debt
than I was before.

You're gonna make it back.

I'm gonna make it back?

How?

I've got ideas, you know.

There are things that I'd like to do.

I spoke to him about a project
that Dad and I have been designing.

Right, Dad?

Yes, we did.

Do you have any idea
how much your idea will cost?

How or where you'll sell it?

If you can even manufacture it
after it's taken everything we've got

to sell this one product that now,
thanks to you

is going to cost more money?

Maybe my product
is better than your product.

I can do what you did on TV.
It's not that hard.

Isn't that the whole purpose of that channel?
It's that everybody could do it?

What your sister does is not easy

but what we were planning to do

is not that difficult.

Listen to me.

Never speak on my behalf

about my business again.

Now I have to go to California.

Can I help you?

I'm Joy. I'm here to see Gerhardt.

He's not available.

I'll wait.

She says she's here to see Gerhardt.

Gerhardt!

Hey. I'm Gerhardt.

I'm Joy.

Come on in.

Derek Markham is my boss.

He lives in Texas.

Fabri-Pac is one of several companies
he owns or collects royalties for.

I report to him.
He makes pricing decisions.

Well, I've never met or talked
to this Derek Markham

but I've talked to you many times
on the phone.

And I do find it very curious

that the second I'm on television,
with a lot of success

the price for our products goes up.

Seems very unfair to me,
to say the least.

Seems like you're shaking us down.

You met Gregory, our plant foreman.

It's very hard for us to lower the cost
at this point.

We're already losing a lot of money.

How could that possibly be,
with the $500,000 that we've given you

on top of the
$50,000 of advance royalties

that have gone to a Derek Markham
in Dallas.

And that's not even counting
what my sister paid you

without my authority, by the way

for your overcharges and your mistakes.

Your sister paid the increase
that you refused to pay.

Well, she had no authority to do that.
She's not an officer of my corporation.

You and I could both spend a lot of time
and money in court to prove that I'm right

but that would just make
our lawyers wealthy

while my product dies
instead of being on television

like it could be right now.

You can pay more.

I can't pay more. I won't.

Costs are higher.
Wear and tear on the molds.

We have to remake them every other week.

Is that so? Can I see the molds?

They're in the machines.

It'll take some time
to prepare them for you.

Is there a bathroom I could use?

Yeah, it's down the hall.
Gregory will show you.

Thanks.

What?

What are you doing in here?

What is this?

These are my designs,
these are my molds!

Those are ours!

And we knew you'd be trouble.
The cops are on their way.

-We called 'em as soon as you showed up!
-These are my molds!

Those are ours!

I'm taking these with me.

I'm taking all of these with me.

I want all of these boxed up,
and I'm taking them.

You're trespassing!

It's not your patent!

These are my designs!

I'm not going anywhere without my molds.

What? No. No.

This is not stealing,
this is my property!

This is my property.

I have all of these designs.
These are all mine. They belong to me!

She's from out of state, John!
You've known me 15 years!

All right, come on, ma'am.
You're trespassing.

-What?
-Yeah. Come on.

-I'm not trespassing.
-Yeah, you're trespassing.

I was in his office.

-You don't know. Come on.
-He let me into his

Gerhardt, you're not gonna
get away with this.

-You're not gonna get away with this!
-Be careful what you're saying.

-You're a thief! You're a thief, Gerhardt!
-Be careful, come on, come on.

Be careful. Come on, stop it.

-This is stealing!
-Hey, hey, stop it. Come on.

All right.

Watch your step. All right.

What about Trudy's money, Joy?

You have to pay back Trudy's money.

This is only getting worse.

I predicted tragedy, Joy.

You're racking up quite a steep bill.

We had to fly out here, bail you out.

Plus it cost us an extra $10,000
for Ray Cagney

this California patent attorney,
to get us to this point.

We got the state to decline prosecution.

They see it's a contract dispute.

When you paid royalties
to Derek Markham in Texas

it put all your parts and molds
under the umbrella of their patent.

I see you brought your drawings
and hung them to prove your design.

But it's impossible to fight it now.

You were not properly advised.

Cristy, please!

Tony, take her to bed.

I don't wanna go to bed.
I wanna stay here.

I paid those royalties

because you told me to.

Because your lawyer told me to.

Our lawyer was mistaken.
This happens sometimes in business.

It didn't work out for you.

It happens sometimes.

Trudy's lawyer is not a patent attorney.

Which I said!

And you said I had no business
being Joy's advisor.

-And now it turns out that I was right!
-This is not helpful, Tony!

-That's enough, Tony. Please.
-It's enough, now?

I'm very sorry.
I wish there was more I could do.

But when your sister Peggy paid
the unjustified bills

that you refused to pay

it closed the door on that.

What about Neil Walker and QVC?

Wouldn't they pay the expenses
on defending the patent?

Be careful, Joy.

You could be sued for misrepresentation
and failure to deliver your product.

That's breach.

QVC requires that you deliver
a fully patented product.

I've been doing this for a long time.

You're in for a long court process
that will stall your product.

And you will probably lose.

I wish I could do more.

Take care, now.

You're gonna have to accept
the facts, Joy.

I mean, that's

You're most of half a million dollars
in debt.

I don't know how you're gonna pay it.

We have to declare bankruptcy.

You're gonna have to declare bankruptcy.

I have to declare bankruptcy.

She has to.

-To try to contain my losses.
-Yeah.

I have to write it off.

It just seems so wrong.

We've worked so hard.

We've come so far
for us to just give up now.

It just seems so unfair!

Business is unfair. That's it.

It's not working out.
Well, that's what happens.

That's why people don't go around
making invention every other day.

Wake up!

It's my fault.

I gave her the confidence to think she was
more than just an unemployed housewife

selling plastic kitchen stuff
to other unemployed housewives

on a junk cable channel.

It's my fault.
It's not your fault, honey.

It was my mistake to make her think
that she was more than she was.

She pressured herself into doing
something she shouldn't have done.

It was wrong of you
to put that pressure on yourself.

It was wrong of us
to put that pressure on you.

I need more vodka.

It was wrong of us to think that you'd be
an instant business person overnight.

Of course, this is not who you are.

It takes a kind of toughness,
a certain acumen

that you simply don't have.

Sign the paper.

You have to sign
these bankruptcy papers, honey.

The notary's right outside.
Let me get her.

You're gonna have to move
out of your house immediately.

You're gonna have to move
into an apartment.

Maybe you can move into a room
in Trudy's house.

With the children?

Yeah. You have room.

She's my daughter. Why not?

Let's talk about it.

Trudy, we have to offer her something.

Again?

Why me?

Please sign, honey.

Thank you.

Mimi said you were the one born
to help carry the family to success.

No, Cristy. Mimi was wrong.

The world does not give you opportunities.

The world destroys your opportunity
and it breaks your heart.

I should have listened to my mother
when I was 10 years old.

I should have spent the rest of my life

watching TV and hiding from the world
like my mother.

So I don't wanna hear
any more about Mimi.

She was wrong.

She had her head in the clouds
and it was full of stupid ideas.

And it gave me stupid ideas.

Like this.

This stupid, stupid idea!

Mommy, don't tear them! No!

Cristy, I'm so sorry.

I'm sorry, Cristy.

I'm so sorry.

Please go to bed.
Everybody just go to bed.

Good night, Mommy.

Good night, sweetheart. Just go to bed.

I'm so sorry I failed you, Joy.
I'm so sorry.

Just, just don't.

Joy? Joy?

Joy, where are you?

Joy, where are you?

It's open.

You can leave the door open.

No one knows I'm here.

You don't even know who I am.

I could be Derek Markham or I might be someone
Derek Markham sent to handle you.

You have no case.

Maybe people think you came to Dallas
in despair to take your own life

because you were in such deep financial trouble
suddenly from your little venture.

I made a phone call this morning
to Hong Kong.

It was 1:00 a.m. in California but it was
5:00 p.m. the following afternoon in Hong Kong.

I always think it's amazing
how time works like that.

And I was fortunate enough to get
on the phone with Mr. Christopher

who I found to be very friendly,
which was surprising

because I really haven't found
the gentlemen in California to be very nice

considering we're all
in business together.

Welcome to the world of business,
I guess.

I told Mr. Christopher
that the reason that I was calling

was to discuss the differences
in the designs of our products.

But I quickly learned
that Mr. Christopher has no idea

if his Hong Kong patent for a self-wringing mop
is worth anything or if it even works.

Because they have not made
or sold a single mop.

Unlike us, who have sold over 200,000.

And I've paid you over $50,000
in advanced royalties

on behalf of Mr. Christopher.

Blood money from my family
and my second mortgage.

Turns out Mr. Christopher doesn't know
anything about those royalties.

So it seems

we have a case of fraud and embezzlement.

And, as if that weren't bad enough

I also discovered in the paperwork that our mops
actually don't bear any similarities.

So I never did owe you
any royalties for your patent.

That's another case of fraud.

My lawyers really could go after you,
but I told them, "Give me a day."

To see if maybe
you might've made a mistake

that you would correct,
given the chance.

We'll pay you back all the royalties
you paid us.

I could pay you give you $20,000
on top of paying you back the 50.

OK.

I'll give you $50,000
on top of paying you back the 50.

Plus interest.

I want all of my molds back.

I want you to sign
this piece of paper

saying that you have
no rights, financially.

I'm just gonna add
I said the 50

plus the 50

plus the interest.

So I just want you to initial
next to those two numbers as well.

So just sign there.

She put up with just about anything.

Until when she had to
bring the hammer down

she brought the hammer down.

She couldn't know what was to come.

That she'd go on to make
another 100 record-setting patents.

Skinny 'velvet-hangers'
make neater closets.

That's a big deal to a lot of people.

I mean, who thinks of things like that?

Joy did.

But she didn't know any of this would happen
as she walked down the street that day.

Yes, sir, tonight's the night for
Ol' Saint Nick to make his yearly visit

to all the folks all over the world.

There's fun and expectation
in every house across the land.

And speaking of houses, what do you say
we take a little look-in on a typical one?

Now I'll admit that what you see right now
is just a small piece of the front of a house.

But all you grownups and kids alike,
this is the time for Santa's magic

so I think we can make it
become a real house.

Even a house with love in it.

Mr. Santa Claus, can we have
a little snow, please?

Thank you. That's fine.

Now, Santa, let me see what it
really looks like inside this house.

She couldn't know that one day
she would move into a big beautiful home.

Her mother was happy.

She remained close to her,
and with the rest of her family

which was, as always, complicated.

She would pay for products made by
Rudy, Trudy, and Peggy.

Even when they failed.

Even when they wrongly sued
for ownership of her company.

As Rudy got older, Joy continued
to take care of him and love him.

As Neil Walker predicted,
Joy did become a whole new business.

And even outgrew QVC.

-She's talking to her children.
-Is Tony in there?

Yes, Tony's in there.
The family's in there.

Her ex-husband and her best friend
would remain her steadfast advisors.

Please be patient.

I love you.
You guys go and pack your rooms.

-Good night, Mom.
-I love you.

- ... - ... - ...

-Hi.
-Hi.

-Welcome.
-Thank you.

What do you have?

A traveling clothes cleaner.

Let's see it.

So you're from Memphis?

Yes, I am.

You work as a waitress?

Yes, ma'am.

All right. Let's see it.

You made this yourself?

Yes, I did, ma'am.

I made my first invention myself, too.

I like this, it's a very good design.

Thank you.

Can you stay an extra day,
meet with our designers?

No, because of your boss?

What hotel are you staying in right now?

-The Holiday Inn, ma'am.
-Holiday Inn.

Let's move them over to the Radisson,
get them a suite.

You'll be more comfortable
with your baby.

I'll call your boss and get it
taken care of, give you an extra day

so that tomorrow you can come in,
meet with the designers.

-We can take it step by step, all right?
-Thank you so much.

We'll work on your idea,
see if we can do something.

This means so much to me.

I know what it feels like.

I know what it feels like
to be in that chair.

-We'll see you tomorrow, OK?
-Thank you, ma'am.

And good luck.

-Thank you for coming.
-Thank you.

-Go get the next person, Tony.
-OK.

Neil.

Sorry, we have legal stuff
with Barry, now.

Yes, we do.

Here we are.

Here we are.

Adversaries in commerce.

Adversaries in commerce.

-And friends.
-Yes.

And friends.

I'm gonna tell you something
but you didn't hear it from me.

I don't know who you are
or what you're talking about.

That's what I wanted to hear.

Barry's gonna come after you, hard.

But that's just business.
That's the way Barry is. He's a negotiator.

UItimately, he needs you.

He's buying HSN.

It's all about HSN now,
and he wants you to come with him.

He needs you.

You're going to be very big over there.

That's what's going to happen.

But, you didn't hear it from me, right?

No, I sure didn't.
But thank you.

It's nice to see you.

It's good to see you.

I'll see you around, pal.

Yeah.

It's been a long journey.

Yes, it has.

I'm proud of you.

Thank you, Neil.

This right here,
this is a special power.

This is a special power.

And then I started to build
my very own house

where I would live
and make wonderful creations

for all the world to see and love.

She didn't know any of this would happen

as she walked that day.

♪Subs corrected by♪ XQ2☻♥