Journey Into Solitude (1972) - full transcript
A 16-year-old girl grows into maturity while hiking the 88-temple pilgrimage around Shikoku.
Mum, don't be shocked.
Don't cry and stay calm.
Right, I'm off for a trip.
I'm not just running away.
I want to walk around the island
of Shikoku, just like a pilgrim.
Yes, I should have left
you a letter that morning.
I just didn't bother that time.
Maybe you would have set
off to come running after me.
I knew what was going on.
I knew that you went to
a man's place that morning.
Don't be angry.
I'm not trying to be funny.
I do love you, mum.
You know what?
It feels great sleeping on
the earth instead of a futon.
I always knew that
a candle's flame is pretty.
But now I've learnt about the
wonderful smell when putting it out.
Good night, mum.
I'll write again soon.
JOURNEY INTO SOLITUDE
I have lived my life until today
Sometimes relying
on the help of others
Sometimes clinging
on to somebody else
I have lived my life until today
And this is what
I came to think
That I will continue to
live on like this from tomorrow
I have lived my life until today
Sometimes laughing at somebody
Sometimes getting
threatened by somebody
I have lived my life until today
And this is what
I came to think
That I will continue to
live on like this from tomorrow
I have lived my life until today
Sometimes getting
betrayed by somebody
Sometimes taking
somebody's hand
I have lived my life until today
And this is what
I came to think
That I will continue to
live on like this from tomorrow
Mum, to be honest:
Even now, the only
thing I can think of is you.
I'm 16 already!
Why am I such a mama's girl?
Just as if I were
possessed by your ghost!
You always say to me:
"My life could be so much
easier if you would just die."
Now I am thinking...
...it would be better for
me if you could just die.
Poor mum!
Excuse me!
Sorry to cause so many worries.
There was bereavement
at my husband's family.
She's there on
behalf of our family.
I see.
When she's back, please
inform us at the school.
Sorry you came all the way...
Thinking of it, we are an
interesting family, aren't we?
Just like allies or foes.
Or like lovers or friends.
But mum!
What if I never returned to you?
It's possible.
For now I just keep on walking.
Remember the poem I wrote?
One day I met my own skeleton.
The skeleton kept quiet
and with its eye
holes dark like a cave
it just smiled at me.
The white bone-joints cracked
as it stroked me.
I took off for this trip to set myself
free from such haunting illusions.
Refreshing air,
uncharted lands.
I felt all would turn out fine
if I just went on my trip.
Excuse me, would you give me
some shelter while it's raining?
Even once the rain is over...
...you won't find your
way once it's getting dark.
You can stay here if you don't
mind sleeping on the floor.
Right, grandma?
Sorry, there are
only cold leftovers...
That's fine.
Thank you for letting me stay.
Hope you like it.
Please have some.
I'm sure I will.
Thank you so much!
Just leave the bowl here then.
Thanks.
Bon appetit.
Hush, little baby.
Don't cry.
Let's have some milk.
Your own shoes won't be
dry by tomorrow morning.
Oh.
Thank you!
The red strap is really beautiful.
So, are you from around her?
Mmh?
I beg your pardon?
I'm asking if you are
coming from around her.
Me?
I am...
...on my pilgrimage.
So you are a pilgrim?
And how old are you?
I'd say still
younger than 20...?
No...
I've just turned 20.
Has anyone around you died?
No...
Well then...
Any health problems then?
Yes...
At your young age!
But with your effort
to prove your piety...
...I am sure there
will be a good effect.
And are both of your
parents in good health?
She fell asleep already?
Excuse me,
may I join you?
Delicious!
Yes.
How brave you are, going on
pilgrimage all by yourself.
Well...
You said you were 20...?
Yes...
What a tough girl you are.
Where are you from?
Nihama.
From Shikoku island then.
I'm from Hiroshima.
Oh yes...
It all happened when
I was about your age.
The a-bomb...
I had already been
a dead body back then.
I was in the house
when it happened.
When they pulled me out
of the collapsed house...
...I had lost consciousness
and it was as if I was dead.
Thanks to that my skin
didn't get burnt though.
But inside I was a total wreck.
To protect me
from light and sun.
Being in a group of three is
so much better than only two.
Three?
It says "always the
two of us" here, right?
It means Master Kukai
is always with you.
- Of course you knew that.
- No.
Why not?
So you don't know
much about pilgrimage?
Do you know why Kukai created the
88 pilgrim spots here on Shikoku?
No.
You don't know anything about
Shikoku, your home island!
I hear that this god
promises most graciously to
guard the secret teaching which is
spread abroad in three lands
of India, China and Japan
Praised be the Bodhisattva Kannon
I hear that this god
promises most graciously to
guard the secret teaching which is
spread abroad in three lands...
Mum.
I feel like melting into sun,
earth and water little by little.
And I can feel how I
become strong and mature.
Hey!
Stop it!
You should treat me to lunch.
So you are a school teacher?
No...
A habitual criminal then.
How about a drink?
Coke or juice?
Some beer!
- Miss!
- Just kidding!
Thank you!
It was delicious.
Good bye.
You!
Mum!
I am of the same
age as these girls?
I just can't believe it.
I'm wondering why I
suddenly feel so grown up.
Is it because I am
traveling on my own?
Did it fill me with
such self-confidence?
Mum...
It also scares me to
see me changing so much.
Hello!
Stop!
Bastard!
Hello!
Thank you!
How many days
haven't you had a bath?
You stink.
Not that it matters...
In spite of
your pretty looks.
I was looking forward to have
a fun drive with you until Kochi.
I stink so badly?
It's really bad.
It's a tough business
being a beggar-pilgrim.
So without any bath...
...how far will
you get by foot?
Not that I'd care...
Mum, once people go on a trip
they feel extremely lonely...
...or they become stubborn.
They say traveling is
about encounters.
But with encounters like this I
just get angry and depressed.
That's what we both
have to keep up with.
The night costs 300 Yen.
Can I take a bath?
That would be
30 Yen extra though...
And then...
Here.
I don't want trouble with the police,
so think about what you write.
Fine.
KATOR
(= incense)
MAKIKO KATORI
Mum, the Sea of Tosa!
I've always wanted to see it.
Finally I am here.
Here we are, for the
first time in this region!
The Kunitaro-Matsuda-
Theater-Troupe!
Here we are with
all of our members.
To send you our
never ending greetings.
On the stage:
Two of the stars
of our troupe,
and me, the
modest Ryunosuke Onoue,
in the famous Tosa-version
of "The Wife-Love-Mountain-Pass"!
Ladies and Gentlemen!
Well, although we are here
for the very first time...
...we are so happy that
so many of you have come.
I would like to thank you
in the name of the whole troupe.
Thank you from
the bottom of my heart!
Well...
Our play for the
first day of our visit.
Our troupe's main star
Ryunosuke Onoue plays
"Tosa Shigure
wa Tsuma Koi Dochu".
A scene from "Tosa
Shigure Tsuma koi Dochu".
- You playboy!
- Fantastic!
Followed by
the actress, who has been
on top of the Daikyo Eiga Troupe,
Masako Ichimonji
presents a new dance show.
Accompanied by
Rumiko Koyanagi's famous
"My Castle Town".
You all know it:
"My Castle Town"!
I love you, woman!
Slipping through the grille door
Looking up to the
sky with the sun going down
Someone is singing a lullaby
My Castle Town
You are putting up a
show here, Genjiro!
This girl does
cost you 20 Ryo.
You won't get away
from here without paying.
Come on!
Don't stand there watching.
Come on and help me.
Fine then, just a moment.
I am going to
finish him off.
Hey, you!
Get ready to die!
I am happy
to be your opponent.
- Let's fight!
- Shut up!
If you have to
kill, then kill me!
Well, nothing I can do.
We'll fight to the end
the next time we meet.
But this is not how
we intended it!
Genjiro, your friend
will be here soon, right?
So you better stay
here and wait.
It's so hot tonight.
So now it's time to part.
You do know that he
has another girl friend?
Her name is Oryu.
So what am I, Okinu,
supposed to do now?
Hang in there, girl!
I am here.
Oryu, it's me!
Genjiro!
Genjiro!
Traveler!
No peeping
into the dressing room!
You look like
you had a hard time, Oryu.
Oryu, rest in peace!
Thank you very much
for your generous gifts.
Oryu, rest in peace!
In peeeeeeace!
Bravo!
Mum,
...for me, meeting this troupe
is as if on my long and dreary path...
...is suddenly lined
by beautifully blooming flowers.
It's so impressive to see how much
energy they put in everything they do.
I start feeling ashamed
of being so absorbed in thoughts.
I can't cope anymore.
Jizo-Bosatsu, the
protector of children appears
"Listen to me,
crying and grieving child!"
Just stop it.
Sounds like
a barker's song.
Look at this giant hole.
Hello.
The traveling girl
from yesterday evening?
Yes.
Just by yourself...?
Where you heading?
I thought I should see
another show of yours.
A young girl like you
likes our show?
It was really interesting.
There are just 5 of you,
but it seemed like so many people.
And also...
Also?
I like theater like this.
Watch out,
it's a real sword!
I am kidding.
It's bamboo.
You are a pilgrim?
Or a hitch-hiker?
Or maybe you have other
reasons to be on the road?
You sound just like
your stage character.
When you do this for 40 years,
it just becomes your nature.
40 years already?
Yeah...
I've been on stage
since I was 12.
Time to buy some
fodder for our dinner.
Listen, I can
do that for you.
I'm hitch-hiking.
I'm good at
getting stuff for cheap.
Well then...
That would be nice.
Good.
Why have I felt
like joining these people?
You have an idea, mum?
Well, no matter how long
I keep traveling by myself.
Or how much I
act like a Vagabond.
Compared to them
I am still a child.
Just eating and sleeping.
Or making love.
That's all they think about.
It's the noble
type of Vagabond life.
I've just poked
my nose into their lives.
I feel depressed
and full of doubts.
I can't understand
people or the truth.
That's why I feel
envious of their lives.
You!
Haven't your spent
your own money on that?
No?
It's impossible to get
that much for just 400 Yen!
You spent your own money
to make sure we like you?
There's no need for that.
Better take care of your money.
You will still need it.
Help! Someone stop them!
Help!
It's terrible!
Come! Hurry!
Boss, you are a crook!
Keeping the
money for yourself!
Left in the lurch by his wife
but playing the fat cat!
You are talking
nonsense again!
Ouch! Ouuuuuch!
Leave him! Stop it!
You think I am stupid?
Enough is enough!
How dare you
treat your boss like this!
You want to be
a boss? Old fool!
Ungrateful wretches!
It's too much to take.
Why the fight?
- It's about the money.
- The money?
What we got from the customers.
Ryu's cut was too small.
As if that would matter.
Good morning.
Hi.
- Does it hurt?
- No...
But my limbs hurt.
Not sure why...
And these scrapes here...
So you can't
remember last night at all?
Last night?
What I did last night?
I was too drunk...but
considering the pain here...
Guess we had a fight?
It's itchy.
Have you never
seen a tattoo before?
Yes...
- It's not the first time?
- No.
But the first time I
saw one point-blank.
I got it when I was young and wild.
Back then I had good skin too.
Even five years ago my
skin was all tight and smooth.
I was so proud
of my tattoo.
But it's great.
My skin turned flabby.
And my tattoo died.
Sister!
I am ready!
Ready for a sumo-fight!
Heave ho!
Heave ho!
It's so stupid...
You have a mother?
I don't know what ideas you
have about traveling actors.
It's no fun at all.
There must be a lot of
other jobs suitable for you.
Once your hitchhiking is over...
...you should think
it all over thoroughly.
I have never begged you
to let me enter your troupe.
I have seen many girls
following us actors around.
But all of them...
But I never said
that you were like them.
Sometimes you should listen to
what an older man is telling you.
Right?
But well...
You are a big help
with your shopping skills.
You!
You don't love theater
but our leader, don't you?
But no...
That's not true.
Sorry.
I just remembered
myself when I was younger.
I was 16.
So It's quite a long time ago.
But you are still young.
When you are
in this business...
...you grow older
3 or 4 years every year.
You know, I...
I fell in love with an actor
when I was 16 and ran away.
I just had to go after him.
I was only a 16 year
old girl from the countryside.
Are you talking
about the leader?
No.
I just spent three
years with that actor.
I'm a bit weird
today, right?
Hey, how about a swim?
But.
Don't worry.
We need no bathing suits!
Come here!
Hmm?
Have you said anything?
You are like a mermaid.
What's your real age?
Your body is
younger than 20!
I can see through you.
Shut up!
How good this feels.
What are you staring at?
Is my body that battered?
So many men were
on top of this body.
They just flew past
it, just like the breeze.
Without leaving
a single memory.
You are from No, aren't you'?
What...?
Well, you clearly
speak Iyo-dialect.
Is it that clear?
I've been around so many places.
It's a hodgepodge.
Hey!
What are you brooding over?
Your home?
Not good for
a traveling actress.
- Let's dance!
- I can't dance.
At your age the heat
shouldn't matter. I'll teach you.
Come on, let's dance!
This is a waltz piece.
1...2...3...
2...2...3...
3...2...3...
4...2...3...
5...2...3...
6...2...3...
You are getting good.
Don't look at
your feet but at me.
Slow...
That's right.
Perfect.
Yes.
No!
No!
I was just lousing you.
Hey, Mitsuko!
Come here!
- What are you doing?
- I'm just lousing her.
- Leave her!
- Shut up, you...!
At first
at the palace of Enma,
the king of hell
a dead man,
fallen there from this world,
goes down on his
knees in front of King Enma
"Please, King Enma,
please let me pass"
But Enma does
not grant him his wish
Not to a man
who lived the life of a thief
A double mirror
reflects the sight of hell
The sun carriage
arrives to carry him away
And now the story
of the children in limbo
One or two
or three or four
But fewer than
ten little children
Come together
in the limbo's river bed
Gathering stones
up to ten in number
One stone,
longing for mother
Two stones,
longing for father
Longing, longing
while collecting stones
Playing together
as good friends during the day
But turning into
ashes with the sunset
An evil devil
comes for them
Trampling on the collected
stones, shattering them into pieces
Jizo-Bosatsu, the
protector of children appears
"Listen to me,
crying and grieving child!"
"Your father and your
mother are still alive in this world."
"I will be your
parent instead of them."
The children heard him
and were full of happiness
I had no idea.
I am sorry.
Why do you
worry so much?
I wanted to
say goodbye...
Good bye?
I'd feel relieved if
you just hit me.
Please, hit me.
Well...
Think it over again.
Why not work with
us here in this village?
We found a job.
At the dam's building site.
The men at
the building site.
The women in
the barracks' kitchen.
And we perform
in the evenings.
We'll make money.
And there is so much I
still want to talk to you about.
Don't cry.
You make me sad too.
You lonely traveler,
no wonder you feel lost.
Cry.
Cry it all out.
I love you.
Leave it out.
Cry.
Cry as hard as you can.
Mum, it's finally time
for me to leave this place
I am sure this girl and I will
leave a big impression on each other.
Will this make a crystal, beautiful
like a pearl grow inside of me?
What's wrong, mum?
You poor thing.
Mum...
I got exhausted
from the traveling.
Day and night.
Paths and fields.
Sea and mountains.
I am fed up from walking
around in this low speed.
Maybe I am getting sick?
I guess these
words will worry you.
You'll probably
order me to come home.
But I won't come home.
Because...
if I go home now...
I would always suffer from
my trip being a big failure.
Grannie...
I am not...
...dead yet.
Mum...
I am really ill now.
The trainers I was
wearing when I left home...
...the soles are
totally worn down now.
It feels like something
terribly heavy is pushing me down.
It's so heavy.
So heavy...
This is...
Yes...
The weight of traveling...
The weight of traveling.
But...
I don't hate this weight.
If I'd stop feeling
it, it would be the end...
But...
It's heavy...
It's tough...
Mum...
Is this the
end of my trip?
If I have to die,
I want to be with you.
I would want you to
touch my fragile dead body.
I want you to touch my
ears with your cold hands.
You woke up?
That's good.
Where am I?
In my house.
After three days in
bed your fever went down.
You have a cold.
Thank you.
I thought you were dead
when I first saw you.
Just don't worry and
become healthy soon.
You can eat?
You should eat anyway.
Your rough lips are a
sign of poor nutrition.
Here.
Thank you.
I am selling fish.
I am going around the villages
so it will be late when I come home.
You can eat by yourself?
Thank you.
Thanking me
once is enough.
Take a rest and eat.
You will be better soon.
Mum, there are all kinds
of people in this world.
Living here a poor
and quiet life like this.
That's the kind of house I want
to live in with you one day.
But please stop insisting on having
sashimi for dinner every day then.
One sardine for you and
one for me, that's good enough.
Fried with ginger and
soy sauce they'll be fantastic.
So we can avoid wasting money
and you can paint your pictures.
Morning!
Morning!
This one?
- That one?
- This?
That's a big one.
And octopus?
Two?
- This one.
- Sure.
One more.
Hello.
I was expecting this.
Stay here until
you have recovered.
Look at yourself in
a mirror: like a dead body!
What's wrong?
How can you say such
things like God or Buddha?
Something must be wrong
with your head from the fever.
Hello.
Please!
Tell me if there
is any work I can do.
Thanks to you
I feel much better.
I want to pay you
back before I leave.
Don't worry about that.
- Just go.
- No way!
Maybe you are happy
when you can help somebody.
But I can't just
thank you and leave.
But you have
a goal, don't you?
Just go there.
I can help with your
business or anything else.
Just give me orders.
My business isn't
something for a young girl.
And it only pays when
I have many fish like today.
You aren't here because
you ran away form home, mmh?
If you have parents,
you should go back to them.
I have nobody.
But you wrote letters.
For whom?
I eat outside.
And there isn't
much to clean here.
I have nothing
to do for you.
Well...
Just go back to the
person you wrote letters to.
Who wants vegetables?
Who wants vegetables?
Who wants vegetables?
Who wants vegetables?
You fanned the whole time?
How much was it?
It's okay.
I'll cook dinner tonight.
I'll rub you dry.
Sit down.
Here.
How is it?
Feels good.
What's up?
You can't sleep?
Well...
Can I come over?
I never knew my dad.
You don't have to
tell me about such things.
Asleep already?
It felt like the man
sleeping in front of me...
...was the uncle I had
really liked the whole time.
It felt like he was on my
side even before I was born.
Thinking like this, I felt peaceful
for the first time during this trip.
Hello.
Ah, hello.
Waiting for Mr. Kimura?
Yes.
Guess he's on the boat.
The boat?
He doesn't talk
much, does he?
A boat? Did he
go far away?
He sometimes joins the
fishermen when they need help.
I see.
But he should stay at home
while his niece is here.
You like reading novels?
I wanted this book, so I bought
it second hand from my salary.
Really?
I just like
reading, that's all.
- You like novels too?
- Yes.
The stuff written in the novel
feels so much realer than this.
But...
The more I read, the
more I get scared of myself.
Kayo, what are you doing?
Coming!
- Let's chat about novels next time.
- Yes.
Mum, he hasn't come
home for three days already.
I don't know if he is out
there helping the fishermen.
Or maybe he is
even somewhere injured.
But, my biggest worry...
...is that he doesn't come home
because he does not like me.
So Kimura is with the police?
He might get released
after two or three days.
They won't keep him that
long for a bit of gambling.
Kimura, I can't believe it.
He is not really a gangster.
What an idiot, getting
arrested for gambling.
Welcome home.
Here.
Look here, uncle!
See?
Well?
Can you do that?
I'll teach you then.
It's a piece of cake.
Come.
Push yourself up
with your toes like this.
Okay? Try it.
No!
Take a swing like this.
Okay?
And then up...up...
Forget it.
I am no good at this.
Wait!
Mum, it is always,
always the same with me.
Why can't I have someone to
open up our hearts to each other?
No, it's not only me.
It's the same with
you and me. Always.
Nobody understands us.
Nobody wants to
welcome us with open arms.
No matter how hard we try.
The harder we try, the more
do people get away from us.
Why did she commit suicide?
I somehow feel that
I can understand it.
If I hadn't left home
to go on this trip...
...the same might
have happened to me.
Mum, I'm including 1,000 yen.
You can get
yourself a nice meal.
Or buy yourself a tube
of paint if you need one.
Use it freely please.
Mum, I am working now.
What kind of
job do you think it is?
A sales girl.
No idea how long I will
stay like a wife with him.
I never said that
I wanted to marry him.
Or that we should
have been good friends.
Nevertheless, we somehow
turned into a nice married couple.
Mum, don't get angry.
I want you to leave
me alone for a while.
So I won't
tell you my address.
Until now I always kept
up with your selfishness.
Now it's your
turn to keep up.
Just a little, mum.
Then we'll finally be even.
I have lived my life until today
Sometimes relying
on the help of others
Sometimes clinging
on to somebody else
I have lived my life until today
And this is what
I came to think
That I will continue to
live on like this from tomorrow
I have lived my life until today
Sometimes laughing at somebody...
Based on the novel by
Kukiko Moto
Written by
Shiro Ishimori
Produced by
Tsutomu Kamimura
Camera:
Noritaka Sakamoto
Music:
Takuro Yoshita
"I Have Lived My Life Until Today"
Lyrics/Music by Takuro Yoshida
Cast
The girl:
Yoko Takahashi
Mama:
Kyoko Kishida
Hideo Sunazuka
Eri Yokoyama
Kana Nakayama
Yukihiko Yamamoto
Kimura:
Etsushi Takahashi
Kunitaro:
Rentaro Mikuni
Directed by
Koichi Saito
THE END
Don't cry and stay calm.
Right, I'm off for a trip.
I'm not just running away.
I want to walk around the island
of Shikoku, just like a pilgrim.
Yes, I should have left
you a letter that morning.
I just didn't bother that time.
Maybe you would have set
off to come running after me.
I knew what was going on.
I knew that you went to
a man's place that morning.
Don't be angry.
I'm not trying to be funny.
I do love you, mum.
You know what?
It feels great sleeping on
the earth instead of a futon.
I always knew that
a candle's flame is pretty.
But now I've learnt about the
wonderful smell when putting it out.
Good night, mum.
I'll write again soon.
JOURNEY INTO SOLITUDE
I have lived my life until today
Sometimes relying
on the help of others
Sometimes clinging
on to somebody else
I have lived my life until today
And this is what
I came to think
That I will continue to
live on like this from tomorrow
I have lived my life until today
Sometimes laughing at somebody
Sometimes getting
threatened by somebody
I have lived my life until today
And this is what
I came to think
That I will continue to
live on like this from tomorrow
I have lived my life until today
Sometimes getting
betrayed by somebody
Sometimes taking
somebody's hand
I have lived my life until today
And this is what
I came to think
That I will continue to
live on like this from tomorrow
Mum, to be honest:
Even now, the only
thing I can think of is you.
I'm 16 already!
Why am I such a mama's girl?
Just as if I were
possessed by your ghost!
You always say to me:
"My life could be so much
easier if you would just die."
Now I am thinking...
...it would be better for
me if you could just die.
Poor mum!
Excuse me!
Sorry to cause so many worries.
There was bereavement
at my husband's family.
She's there on
behalf of our family.
I see.
When she's back, please
inform us at the school.
Sorry you came all the way...
Thinking of it, we are an
interesting family, aren't we?
Just like allies or foes.
Or like lovers or friends.
But mum!
What if I never returned to you?
It's possible.
For now I just keep on walking.
Remember the poem I wrote?
One day I met my own skeleton.
The skeleton kept quiet
and with its eye
holes dark like a cave
it just smiled at me.
The white bone-joints cracked
as it stroked me.
I took off for this trip to set myself
free from such haunting illusions.
Refreshing air,
uncharted lands.
I felt all would turn out fine
if I just went on my trip.
Excuse me, would you give me
some shelter while it's raining?
Even once the rain is over...
...you won't find your
way once it's getting dark.
You can stay here if you don't
mind sleeping on the floor.
Right, grandma?
Sorry, there are
only cold leftovers...
That's fine.
Thank you for letting me stay.
Hope you like it.
Please have some.
I'm sure I will.
Thank you so much!
Just leave the bowl here then.
Thanks.
Bon appetit.
Hush, little baby.
Don't cry.
Let's have some milk.
Your own shoes won't be
dry by tomorrow morning.
Oh.
Thank you!
The red strap is really beautiful.
So, are you from around her?
Mmh?
I beg your pardon?
I'm asking if you are
coming from around her.
Me?
I am...
...on my pilgrimage.
So you are a pilgrim?
And how old are you?
I'd say still
younger than 20...?
No...
I've just turned 20.
Has anyone around you died?
No...
Well then...
Any health problems then?
Yes...
At your young age!
But with your effort
to prove your piety...
...I am sure there
will be a good effect.
And are both of your
parents in good health?
She fell asleep already?
Excuse me,
may I join you?
Delicious!
Yes.
How brave you are, going on
pilgrimage all by yourself.
Well...
You said you were 20...?
Yes...
What a tough girl you are.
Where are you from?
Nihama.
From Shikoku island then.
I'm from Hiroshima.
Oh yes...
It all happened when
I was about your age.
The a-bomb...
I had already been
a dead body back then.
I was in the house
when it happened.
When they pulled me out
of the collapsed house...
...I had lost consciousness
and it was as if I was dead.
Thanks to that my skin
didn't get burnt though.
But inside I was a total wreck.
To protect me
from light and sun.
Being in a group of three is
so much better than only two.
Three?
It says "always the
two of us" here, right?
It means Master Kukai
is always with you.
- Of course you knew that.
- No.
Why not?
So you don't know
much about pilgrimage?
Do you know why Kukai created the
88 pilgrim spots here on Shikoku?
No.
You don't know anything about
Shikoku, your home island!
I hear that this god
promises most graciously to
guard the secret teaching which is
spread abroad in three lands
of India, China and Japan
Praised be the Bodhisattva Kannon
I hear that this god
promises most graciously to
guard the secret teaching which is
spread abroad in three lands...
Mum.
I feel like melting into sun,
earth and water little by little.
And I can feel how I
become strong and mature.
Hey!
Stop it!
You should treat me to lunch.
So you are a school teacher?
No...
A habitual criminal then.
How about a drink?
Coke or juice?
Some beer!
- Miss!
- Just kidding!
Thank you!
It was delicious.
Good bye.
You!
Mum!
I am of the same
age as these girls?
I just can't believe it.
I'm wondering why I
suddenly feel so grown up.
Is it because I am
traveling on my own?
Did it fill me with
such self-confidence?
Mum...
It also scares me to
see me changing so much.
Hello!
Stop!
Bastard!
Hello!
Thank you!
How many days
haven't you had a bath?
You stink.
Not that it matters...
In spite of
your pretty looks.
I was looking forward to have
a fun drive with you until Kochi.
I stink so badly?
It's really bad.
It's a tough business
being a beggar-pilgrim.
So without any bath...
...how far will
you get by foot?
Not that I'd care...
Mum, once people go on a trip
they feel extremely lonely...
...or they become stubborn.
They say traveling is
about encounters.
But with encounters like this I
just get angry and depressed.
That's what we both
have to keep up with.
The night costs 300 Yen.
Can I take a bath?
That would be
30 Yen extra though...
And then...
Here.
I don't want trouble with the police,
so think about what you write.
Fine.
KATOR
(= incense)
MAKIKO KATORI
Mum, the Sea of Tosa!
I've always wanted to see it.
Finally I am here.
Here we are, for the
first time in this region!
The Kunitaro-Matsuda-
Theater-Troupe!
Here we are with
all of our members.
To send you our
never ending greetings.
On the stage:
Two of the stars
of our troupe,
and me, the
modest Ryunosuke Onoue,
in the famous Tosa-version
of "The Wife-Love-Mountain-Pass"!
Ladies and Gentlemen!
Well, although we are here
for the very first time...
...we are so happy that
so many of you have come.
I would like to thank you
in the name of the whole troupe.
Thank you from
the bottom of my heart!
Well...
Our play for the
first day of our visit.
Our troupe's main star
Ryunosuke Onoue plays
"Tosa Shigure
wa Tsuma Koi Dochu".
A scene from "Tosa
Shigure Tsuma koi Dochu".
- You playboy!
- Fantastic!
Followed by
the actress, who has been
on top of the Daikyo Eiga Troupe,
Masako Ichimonji
presents a new dance show.
Accompanied by
Rumiko Koyanagi's famous
"My Castle Town".
You all know it:
"My Castle Town"!
I love you, woman!
Slipping through the grille door
Looking up to the
sky with the sun going down
Someone is singing a lullaby
My Castle Town
You are putting up a
show here, Genjiro!
This girl does
cost you 20 Ryo.
You won't get away
from here without paying.
Come on!
Don't stand there watching.
Come on and help me.
Fine then, just a moment.
I am going to
finish him off.
Hey, you!
Get ready to die!
I am happy
to be your opponent.
- Let's fight!
- Shut up!
If you have to
kill, then kill me!
Well, nothing I can do.
We'll fight to the end
the next time we meet.
But this is not how
we intended it!
Genjiro, your friend
will be here soon, right?
So you better stay
here and wait.
It's so hot tonight.
So now it's time to part.
You do know that he
has another girl friend?
Her name is Oryu.
So what am I, Okinu,
supposed to do now?
Hang in there, girl!
I am here.
Oryu, it's me!
Genjiro!
Genjiro!
Traveler!
No peeping
into the dressing room!
You look like
you had a hard time, Oryu.
Oryu, rest in peace!
Thank you very much
for your generous gifts.
Oryu, rest in peace!
In peeeeeeace!
Bravo!
Mum,
...for me, meeting this troupe
is as if on my long and dreary path...
...is suddenly lined
by beautifully blooming flowers.
It's so impressive to see how much
energy they put in everything they do.
I start feeling ashamed
of being so absorbed in thoughts.
I can't cope anymore.
Jizo-Bosatsu, the
protector of children appears
"Listen to me,
crying and grieving child!"
Just stop it.
Sounds like
a barker's song.
Look at this giant hole.
Hello.
The traveling girl
from yesterday evening?
Yes.
Just by yourself...?
Where you heading?
I thought I should see
another show of yours.
A young girl like you
likes our show?
It was really interesting.
There are just 5 of you,
but it seemed like so many people.
And also...
Also?
I like theater like this.
Watch out,
it's a real sword!
I am kidding.
It's bamboo.
You are a pilgrim?
Or a hitch-hiker?
Or maybe you have other
reasons to be on the road?
You sound just like
your stage character.
When you do this for 40 years,
it just becomes your nature.
40 years already?
Yeah...
I've been on stage
since I was 12.
Time to buy some
fodder for our dinner.
Listen, I can
do that for you.
I'm hitch-hiking.
I'm good at
getting stuff for cheap.
Well then...
That would be nice.
Good.
Why have I felt
like joining these people?
You have an idea, mum?
Well, no matter how long
I keep traveling by myself.
Or how much I
act like a Vagabond.
Compared to them
I am still a child.
Just eating and sleeping.
Or making love.
That's all they think about.
It's the noble
type of Vagabond life.
I've just poked
my nose into their lives.
I feel depressed
and full of doubts.
I can't understand
people or the truth.
That's why I feel
envious of their lives.
You!
Haven't your spent
your own money on that?
No?
It's impossible to get
that much for just 400 Yen!
You spent your own money
to make sure we like you?
There's no need for that.
Better take care of your money.
You will still need it.
Help! Someone stop them!
Help!
It's terrible!
Come! Hurry!
Boss, you are a crook!
Keeping the
money for yourself!
Left in the lurch by his wife
but playing the fat cat!
You are talking
nonsense again!
Ouch! Ouuuuuch!
Leave him! Stop it!
You think I am stupid?
Enough is enough!
How dare you
treat your boss like this!
You want to be
a boss? Old fool!
Ungrateful wretches!
It's too much to take.
Why the fight?
- It's about the money.
- The money?
What we got from the customers.
Ryu's cut was too small.
As if that would matter.
Good morning.
Hi.
- Does it hurt?
- No...
But my limbs hurt.
Not sure why...
And these scrapes here...
So you can't
remember last night at all?
Last night?
What I did last night?
I was too drunk...but
considering the pain here...
Guess we had a fight?
It's itchy.
Have you never
seen a tattoo before?
Yes...
- It's not the first time?
- No.
But the first time I
saw one point-blank.
I got it when I was young and wild.
Back then I had good skin too.
Even five years ago my
skin was all tight and smooth.
I was so proud
of my tattoo.
But it's great.
My skin turned flabby.
And my tattoo died.
Sister!
I am ready!
Ready for a sumo-fight!
Heave ho!
Heave ho!
It's so stupid...
You have a mother?
I don't know what ideas you
have about traveling actors.
It's no fun at all.
There must be a lot of
other jobs suitable for you.
Once your hitchhiking is over...
...you should think
it all over thoroughly.
I have never begged you
to let me enter your troupe.
I have seen many girls
following us actors around.
But all of them...
But I never said
that you were like them.
Sometimes you should listen to
what an older man is telling you.
Right?
But well...
You are a big help
with your shopping skills.
You!
You don't love theater
but our leader, don't you?
But no...
That's not true.
Sorry.
I just remembered
myself when I was younger.
I was 16.
So It's quite a long time ago.
But you are still young.
When you are
in this business...
...you grow older
3 or 4 years every year.
You know, I...
I fell in love with an actor
when I was 16 and ran away.
I just had to go after him.
I was only a 16 year
old girl from the countryside.
Are you talking
about the leader?
No.
I just spent three
years with that actor.
I'm a bit weird
today, right?
Hey, how about a swim?
But.
Don't worry.
We need no bathing suits!
Come here!
Hmm?
Have you said anything?
You are like a mermaid.
What's your real age?
Your body is
younger than 20!
I can see through you.
Shut up!
How good this feels.
What are you staring at?
Is my body that battered?
So many men were
on top of this body.
They just flew past
it, just like the breeze.
Without leaving
a single memory.
You are from No, aren't you'?
What...?
Well, you clearly
speak Iyo-dialect.
Is it that clear?
I've been around so many places.
It's a hodgepodge.
Hey!
What are you brooding over?
Your home?
Not good for
a traveling actress.
- Let's dance!
- I can't dance.
At your age the heat
shouldn't matter. I'll teach you.
Come on, let's dance!
This is a waltz piece.
1...2...3...
2...2...3...
3...2...3...
4...2...3...
5...2...3...
6...2...3...
You are getting good.
Don't look at
your feet but at me.
Slow...
That's right.
Perfect.
Yes.
No!
No!
I was just lousing you.
Hey, Mitsuko!
Come here!
- What are you doing?
- I'm just lousing her.
- Leave her!
- Shut up, you...!
At first
at the palace of Enma,
the king of hell
a dead man,
fallen there from this world,
goes down on his
knees in front of King Enma
"Please, King Enma,
please let me pass"
But Enma does
not grant him his wish
Not to a man
who lived the life of a thief
A double mirror
reflects the sight of hell
The sun carriage
arrives to carry him away
And now the story
of the children in limbo
One or two
or three or four
But fewer than
ten little children
Come together
in the limbo's river bed
Gathering stones
up to ten in number
One stone,
longing for mother
Two stones,
longing for father
Longing, longing
while collecting stones
Playing together
as good friends during the day
But turning into
ashes with the sunset
An evil devil
comes for them
Trampling on the collected
stones, shattering them into pieces
Jizo-Bosatsu, the
protector of children appears
"Listen to me,
crying and grieving child!"
"Your father and your
mother are still alive in this world."
"I will be your
parent instead of them."
The children heard him
and were full of happiness
I had no idea.
I am sorry.
Why do you
worry so much?
I wanted to
say goodbye...
Good bye?
I'd feel relieved if
you just hit me.
Please, hit me.
Well...
Think it over again.
Why not work with
us here in this village?
We found a job.
At the dam's building site.
The men at
the building site.
The women in
the barracks' kitchen.
And we perform
in the evenings.
We'll make money.
And there is so much I
still want to talk to you about.
Don't cry.
You make me sad too.
You lonely traveler,
no wonder you feel lost.
Cry.
Cry it all out.
I love you.
Leave it out.
Cry.
Cry as hard as you can.
Mum, it's finally time
for me to leave this place
I am sure this girl and I will
leave a big impression on each other.
Will this make a crystal, beautiful
like a pearl grow inside of me?
What's wrong, mum?
You poor thing.
Mum...
I got exhausted
from the traveling.
Day and night.
Paths and fields.
Sea and mountains.
I am fed up from walking
around in this low speed.
Maybe I am getting sick?
I guess these
words will worry you.
You'll probably
order me to come home.
But I won't come home.
Because...
if I go home now...
I would always suffer from
my trip being a big failure.
Grannie...
I am not...
...dead yet.
Mum...
I am really ill now.
The trainers I was
wearing when I left home...
...the soles are
totally worn down now.
It feels like something
terribly heavy is pushing me down.
It's so heavy.
So heavy...
This is...
Yes...
The weight of traveling...
The weight of traveling.
But...
I don't hate this weight.
If I'd stop feeling
it, it would be the end...
But...
It's heavy...
It's tough...
Mum...
Is this the
end of my trip?
If I have to die,
I want to be with you.
I would want you to
touch my fragile dead body.
I want you to touch my
ears with your cold hands.
You woke up?
That's good.
Where am I?
In my house.
After three days in
bed your fever went down.
You have a cold.
Thank you.
I thought you were dead
when I first saw you.
Just don't worry and
become healthy soon.
You can eat?
You should eat anyway.
Your rough lips are a
sign of poor nutrition.
Here.
Thank you.
I am selling fish.
I am going around the villages
so it will be late when I come home.
You can eat by yourself?
Thank you.
Thanking me
once is enough.
Take a rest and eat.
You will be better soon.
Mum, there are all kinds
of people in this world.
Living here a poor
and quiet life like this.
That's the kind of house I want
to live in with you one day.
But please stop insisting on having
sashimi for dinner every day then.
One sardine for you and
one for me, that's good enough.
Fried with ginger and
soy sauce they'll be fantastic.
So we can avoid wasting money
and you can paint your pictures.
Morning!
Morning!
This one?
- That one?
- This?
That's a big one.
And octopus?
Two?
- This one.
- Sure.
One more.
Hello.
I was expecting this.
Stay here until
you have recovered.
Look at yourself in
a mirror: like a dead body!
What's wrong?
How can you say such
things like God or Buddha?
Something must be wrong
with your head from the fever.
Hello.
Please!
Tell me if there
is any work I can do.
Thanks to you
I feel much better.
I want to pay you
back before I leave.
Don't worry about that.
- Just go.
- No way!
Maybe you are happy
when you can help somebody.
But I can't just
thank you and leave.
But you have
a goal, don't you?
Just go there.
I can help with your
business or anything else.
Just give me orders.
My business isn't
something for a young girl.
And it only pays when
I have many fish like today.
You aren't here because
you ran away form home, mmh?
If you have parents,
you should go back to them.
I have nobody.
But you wrote letters.
For whom?
I eat outside.
And there isn't
much to clean here.
I have nothing
to do for you.
Well...
Just go back to the
person you wrote letters to.
Who wants vegetables?
Who wants vegetables?
Who wants vegetables?
Who wants vegetables?
You fanned the whole time?
How much was it?
It's okay.
I'll cook dinner tonight.
I'll rub you dry.
Sit down.
Here.
How is it?
Feels good.
What's up?
You can't sleep?
Well...
Can I come over?
I never knew my dad.
You don't have to
tell me about such things.
Asleep already?
It felt like the man
sleeping in front of me...
...was the uncle I had
really liked the whole time.
It felt like he was on my
side even before I was born.
Thinking like this, I felt peaceful
for the first time during this trip.
Hello.
Ah, hello.
Waiting for Mr. Kimura?
Yes.
Guess he's on the boat.
The boat?
He doesn't talk
much, does he?
A boat? Did he
go far away?
He sometimes joins the
fishermen when they need help.
I see.
But he should stay at home
while his niece is here.
You like reading novels?
I wanted this book, so I bought
it second hand from my salary.
Really?
I just like
reading, that's all.
- You like novels too?
- Yes.
The stuff written in the novel
feels so much realer than this.
But...
The more I read, the
more I get scared of myself.
Kayo, what are you doing?
Coming!
- Let's chat about novels next time.
- Yes.
Mum, he hasn't come
home for three days already.
I don't know if he is out
there helping the fishermen.
Or maybe he is
even somewhere injured.
But, my biggest worry...
...is that he doesn't come home
because he does not like me.
So Kimura is with the police?
He might get released
after two or three days.
They won't keep him that
long for a bit of gambling.
Kimura, I can't believe it.
He is not really a gangster.
What an idiot, getting
arrested for gambling.
Welcome home.
Here.
Look here, uncle!
See?
Well?
Can you do that?
I'll teach you then.
It's a piece of cake.
Come.
Push yourself up
with your toes like this.
Okay? Try it.
No!
Take a swing like this.
Okay?
And then up...up...
Forget it.
I am no good at this.
Wait!
Mum, it is always,
always the same with me.
Why can't I have someone to
open up our hearts to each other?
No, it's not only me.
It's the same with
you and me. Always.
Nobody understands us.
Nobody wants to
welcome us with open arms.
No matter how hard we try.
The harder we try, the more
do people get away from us.
Why did she commit suicide?
I somehow feel that
I can understand it.
If I hadn't left home
to go on this trip...
...the same might
have happened to me.
Mum, I'm including 1,000 yen.
You can get
yourself a nice meal.
Or buy yourself a tube
of paint if you need one.
Use it freely please.
Mum, I am working now.
What kind of
job do you think it is?
A sales girl.
No idea how long I will
stay like a wife with him.
I never said that
I wanted to marry him.
Or that we should
have been good friends.
Nevertheless, we somehow
turned into a nice married couple.
Mum, don't get angry.
I want you to leave
me alone for a while.
So I won't
tell you my address.
Until now I always kept
up with your selfishness.
Now it's your
turn to keep up.
Just a little, mum.
Then we'll finally be even.
I have lived my life until today
Sometimes relying
on the help of others
Sometimes clinging
on to somebody else
I have lived my life until today
And this is what
I came to think
That I will continue to
live on like this from tomorrow
I have lived my life until today
Sometimes laughing at somebody...
Based on the novel by
Kukiko Moto
Written by
Shiro Ishimori
Produced by
Tsutomu Kamimura
Camera:
Noritaka Sakamoto
Music:
Takuro Yoshita
"I Have Lived My Life Until Today"
Lyrics/Music by Takuro Yoshida
Cast
The girl:
Yoko Takahashi
Mama:
Kyoko Kishida
Hideo Sunazuka
Eri Yokoyama
Kana Nakayama
Yukihiko Yamamoto
Kimura:
Etsushi Takahashi
Kunitaro:
Rentaro Mikuni
Directed by
Koichi Saito
THE END