Joulubileet (1996) - full transcript

In jail you'll miss Christmas the most..
that's why the best present

for anyone getting out
is a Christmas Party.

Pepe Loivuori, Kakola, summer -87

We assemble here this
evening to witness -

the extraordinary artistic
talent of Jesper Rasmussen.

Prepare yourselves for
a work exposing every nuance...

of the guilt and the suffering we feel
for the commercialization

but more significantly the
ultimate destruction of Christmas.

Beneath the eroding mask of Christmas
we can hide all evidence of our cruelty.

Experience this tragedy, the very
stupidity of humanity, prepare, as -

Rasmussen presents
"Christmas is Dead!"



Damn hell!

Get down on the fucking floor!

Oi bitch! Shut the fuck up!

Just try it and I'll
chop your fucking head off!

Yes, nothing for me today,
thank you very much...

May I help you, sir?

No, nothing today.
just a Merry Christmas!

Excuse me, may I...
-No! Nothing today!

A very Merry Christmas. -Someone
grab him! He hasn't paid for the meat!

You're still here!

You just don't get it, do you?
He could be here any minute.

I'm just on my way...
-Where are you going, my dear'!

As if you fucking care. Well, you
look like you were looking forward to it

What the hell are you wearing those for?
A bull fight, perhaps?



Who cares. It's you driving me out.
And from my own home, too!

You don't need to
be like that about it.

You know this is
the day he gets out...

And I have to sacrify myself because
some fucker's getting out of prison.

But just for a little while, my dear.
just to be on the safe side.

I know! Why don't you try that lovely
steak house round the corner?

I'll go just where I want.

Just get this crap sorted
by the time I get back.

Urgh! Very sick.
Very, very... sick!

Off she goes again!
And we all know well where!

And that man of hers!
Very, very... pathetic!

So where are you going, then?
-You know very well where.

So how the hell do I know?
-Jesus. To the Pelican of course!

OK dear... but be careful.

Umm... dinner, darts, and...

Fucking hell! What a bitch!

Alright, so what's all this then?

Ah! Welt, nothing much really.
I... I thought I heard something, and...

And I wanted to make sure
there was nothing wrong. You too, eh'!

Or perhaps you're
a new here?

A farm boy.
Is that a pig under your arm?

Actually, I get on very
well with the neighbours.

Let them have their parties... whatever.
It's all just fine with me!

Ah! I think that must be my coffee!
I better go now...if that's OK with you?

...fuck.

Joukka! It's good to see you.

Not too late to roast this, I hope.

But didn't we discuss this'!

Well, if we do it in the bath,
then it can't make a mess, can it?

Just get in here, quick.

Get the fuck out of this flat, you shit!
You asshole... just fuck off!

And for anyone listening, just remember!
This worthless piece of shit is history!

And don't you try
crawling back in, either!

But Mary, please!
You've still got my leg!

It's fucking over!
I don't want your leg!

But darling, don't!
Oh no! Not my hand!

Just get the fuck out of here! Pig!

But Mary... don't! My head!

Jesus! Do you want me to kill you?

Just stay out!

I wasn't late, was I?

I tried to get here as fast as I could.

So, what am I supposed
to do now, then?

By the way. Did you know
there was a nutter by the door?

Making some funny moves...
-Oh that's the neighbour.

And what a snoop! I feel
he's got the whole house covered!

One of these days I'm going to
give him one straight in the nose!

So what did you say
we were doing with the pig'!

Just cut it's throat and
let the blood drain out... somewhere.

Aha! Plotting to get rid of me.

Well, I wouln't be so confident.

If we are going to have a real war...

...then let the battle commence!

So did you say
your brother was coming?

Yes. Of course he's coming.

Now just tell me how to do this.
-Jesus, I don't know!

I did what I was told and that's it!
And don't start bitching at me...

But I can't just kill it here!

OK! Then just put it in the oven.
It will cook OK... one way or another.

Ah, come on! You can't be serious!

Yes! just set it to 300 degrees
and in goes the pig...

...roast for a minimum of five hours.
And voila!

Aha... so the plot thickens.
But don't you worry.

It won't be long now...
before I get you!

What on earth!

Hall! One more step... and I'll shoot!
-Hey! You can't kill Santa!

Sorry, but I am in a bit of a hurry.

Yes, I can see that!
We enjoyed the birthday of Jesus...

but that was seven months ago!

Better late than never?
-Oh my God! Another one!

You're extremely sick,
the whole lot of you!

Did you know there's
a nut outside with a gun?

Yes, it's only the neighbour.
just get inside...

Well look at this! Santa's finally here!

So how come you forgot my presents?
I've been waiting for seven months!

I know I've been naughty, but really!

Knock it off, Joukka!
asked Hämäläinen to be here.

Oh I see... Hämäläinen!

And what the fuck are you doing here?

Just cut it out!
It's all part of the plan...

We want to surprise
my brother

And you know
how much he missed Christmas!

Did you hear that?

Er... what? I didn't hear anything.

Like someone was torturing a pig!
I think it's coming from in there...

My God! I was right!

No! No! You've put a pig in the oven!

Of course we have stupid!
It's Christmas!

But you are roasting it alive!

Well, we just couln't kill it!
But don't worry, it'll cook just fine.

Goddamn lunatics!
Get it out of there!

Come here and listen!

Santa's upstairs!
And they've got pigs but...

...they don't sound very seasonal.

Yeah! And if I'm not mistaken, they'll
soon be pumping the pig! Pump, pump...

and the sperm
will be flying everywhere!

Don't be silly!
They seemed such a nice young couple.

They probably invited some friends
from work for a nice little party...

Come on and listen!
just to figure out what's happening!

You know, I think it would be nice
to get know our neighbours a bit better.

Yes. We should be more sociable.
You never know, we might even...

...find it... exciting...

Frankly, I'm a little disappointed,
Joukka! At least try to... well...

just put the cap on!
Come on. It's Christmas, remember!

And we've got to get
into the spirit of things.

Fuck that.

Joukka! As I recall, we all agreed
to participate. And wholeheartedly.

In honor of my brother's return...

What the fuck are you
poking around in there for!

Nothing! -You are, too!
I've told you a hundred times

you are not allowed to touch the food
until it's time for Christmas dinner!

But I was just checking to see if
you had the right kind of onions!

You know how much I like
my Christmas onions!

Jesus! I'll give you
Christmas fucking onions!

I wonder where he could be?

Maybe he's gone to celebrate
his freedom somewhere else.

Well, what I know is...
he's my brother and this is his home.

Such a long time away,
four long years.

And now, at last, he's coming home.

Listen! I think that must be him!
-Well yes! I suppose it is!

Go on! Go and open the door, then!
-The door! What? Me?

Yes, Santa! What do you think
you're here for? Move your ass!

But I can't!
I'm supposed to be hiding!

We don't want to spoil
the surprise from him, do we?

And anyway, I'm Santa Claus!

Joukka! Any room for Santa'!
-Fuck off.

Mike... brother...

I don't believe it.
Come in!

We have a surprise for you!

We were thinking what you would have,
you know, missed the most and...

...it's Christmas.

And this one's just for you, Mike!

I thought it was
Disneyland or something

Mike! It's so nice to see you. Brother!

Yeah... four long years...

Look, it's not that easy to explain...

I don't know... well, you know...
-I really don't know...

...except I only got
one letter from you.

I only got one letter in 1461 days!

But... it's been so difficult for me.
I really tried to put things on paper...

but in the end I just... Oh fuck!
I thought so much about you I really did

But then... so much was going on and...

...and God! We've really
got to talk about it, yes!

OK. Let it out!

It's the... phone. Excuse me.
-So, what about Joukka?

Joukka's in the bathroom.
But why don't you come in?

I'll go answer the phone...

Oh fuck. This is it. It's almost
time to start shitting my pants!

Hello... oh shit!

So Joukka!
-Oh, Mike... so you're here then?

Good to see you!
It's been a long time...

So what are you doing in there
and with the door locked?

It's just my stomach!
I'm having problems... it's...

really churning... So I wouldn't come
in here... for at least an hour.

In fact, the air isn't too good in here!
The same old problem, remember?

Still stealing
from the changing rooms?

Well, sure, the same old thing.
Not doing so well these days, though.

But the money's good, eh?
-Well not that good...

I'm just too well known now...

So they haven't put you away yet?

What do you mean?
I don't do any of those big jobs...

...and anyway, I'm a bit claustrophobic.

There's really no point getting caught
or it would start screwing you really up

I think you know what I mean...

Well yeah, I do think I do know...

But, I've got something to tell you.

A serious thing... about my sister.

It's a little bizarre, I suppose,
but she's with your brother now!

Do you understand'! Mike!

What? I'm your wife, remember! We're
supposed to be married, you fuck!

Take it easy... he's my brother!
I can't just say: "Hey, I'm sorry...

but I'm afraid you can't come home...
-The same old shit! Every time!

...because I've been enjoying your
girlfriend while you've been inside!

You miserable little coward!
You don't have the balls to tell him!

OK now, Joukka!
All you have to do is keep your cool.

Nobody will notice
that we are in the shit!

Fuck! I wish Roger Whittaker was here.

Alright then! So you're there, are you'!
-Yeah. So what were you saying?

Oh, nothing.

I was just wondering what life was like
for you... all those years in the joint.

I mean, it was almost half a decade.
Must have been tough...

keeping your spirits up.
-Yeah, I missed you too.

What do you mean?

So you don't know anything then?

No, I don't know anything...

Damn it! I'm sure you know!

Da da da daaah!

What the fuck! What the fuck is that?

...why, it's Santa Claus!
Sorry I had to come like this...

but it's not so easy you know. You
can't just find chimneys these days!

I might have known... Hämäläinen.
And just what is that crook doing here?

Okay, so you recognized me.

But you don't have to call me a crook.

Look. He did his time inside.
He paid dearly for his mistakes.

And in the darkness...
he found salvation... in the Lord.

So of course we asked him to be Santa.
Out of respect for his expertise...

...in what? -I'm a servant
of the Lord now, you know

With a duty to offer my humble services
to whoever may be in need.

And I was thinking he was
one of you guys, Joukka...

The doorbell!
-Yep. The doorbell's ringing.

Some more guests, perhaps?

He knew it was me right away...
-Just shut it and give him this!

So there wasn't anybody there.
-Except our favorite neighbour...

asking for a solid beating!

We just haven't worked it out yet
how to get rid of that bastard.

So... now. Go on then!
-No way... I can't do it!

Well children... er... guys! I hope
you haven't been naughty this year!

And, I don't think we've seen this
little boy around here for a long time..

So why don't we join together
for a song first?

Perhaps we better leave
the religious stuff until later.

Did you ever wonder just
why the job was such a disaster?

So did we go down
with a thud...or a bang?

So! What can this be'!... A present!
So tell me who's been a good boy then?

Santa needs to know!
Is it you who's been such a good boy?

Don't you dare come near me! I can't
stand you breathing down my neck!

It's not that easy to forget all those
years I spent locked up in there.

Mike. What do you mean?
-I mean that this guy was the bastard

who sold us a gun that went off by
itself, and what about that shit car?

So I think it's time
I showed him how grateful I am.

Oh fuck! You can't be serious!

We only invited
him so he could be Santa!

He's the only one
crazy enough to do it!

We should beat the shit out of him!

Joukka! Let's get Joukka in here!

Yes! Joukka, haul your ass in here!

Let Santa be... I just can't
believe he's here, in my home!

Hämäläinen! You're quite
sure you were born again?

Yes, I turned to the Lord in prison,
I just couldn't have coped without Him.

In the darkness, didn't you also feel
the presence of something bigger?

I see you managed to keep
a trick or two up your sleeve...

...at least judging by this!

What the hell!

Joukka! What the fuck are you doing'!
-Oh nothing much.

Just scaring the birds
away from the window ledge.

You know how they crap everywhere...

...and then my shoe sort of slipped.
And it landed down there. See'!

You're a complete and utter imbecile!
He must be already calling the cops!

Huh..'! Who?
-The nutter from next door of course!

He's trying to get us evicted!

But I'm sure it's not against the rules
if you break your own windows!

So Bona!
Who are you shacked up here with'!

Oh come on... shacked up with...?!

You know damn well I live here alone!

But now, Mike and friends...
it's getting a bit cold here.

And I've arranged something
a bit special for us all to enjoy!

Da da da daaa...!

And what the fuck is that?
-Isn't it a barbeque or...

Don't you even think about it, fatso!

The enormity of the
pleasures that await us!

I can't believe how creative you are!
You should be at that inventor's fair..

You know the one in Central Europe.
You'd be famous world over...

...you could be richer than Maradona,
more respected than even Pele...

I think I hear your asshole speaking.

You really talk crap sometimes!
Those guys are Gods...

Right then, Mike... here we go!
Let's sort men from the boys...

This is so good!
Oh what a laugh! Four guys in the bath!

Bona, for fuck's sake turn it up.
Perhaps we can kill this fucking monk...

I suppose it's
me you're talking about?

A contest, well...
that's just fine with me.

The Elephants can shit
on the Little Pigs!

Come on Bona! Let's do it...

I was thinking about
the need for a drain.

Don't be so stupid. These old
buildings can take anything!

Oh, so there's nothing to worry about...

Wow...! I don't believe it...look!
-There you go, I told you...

You mean... that's their sperm'!

Enough to fill a few buckets!

But how come there's so much of it?
-Pack of young lions in need...

For God's sake, Hämäläinen! Stop!
-Aha... just one more should do it...

Don't you even think about it,
you fucking nut!

Perhaps we should consider eating...
before the elephant gets a beating!

Holy fuck! Look what that pig...

You're going to pay for this!
Death to the Christmas fucker pig!

Don't let him hurt the pig!

Alright! That's enough!
-Just calm down.

It's only a poor little animal.
It's not nearly as clever as you are...

Mike...! I wanted to make it so perfect
for you... your favorite recipes...

And I just planned
to tease your appetites...

OK... so this is it, then.

We just have to make the most of what
little the pig from hell has left for us.

But since this isn't quite what I
planned, I've got an extra surprise...

Da da da daaa...!

Bona! Great stuff! You've
brought some light into the darkness!

Have some respect, you cretin!
Remember, mother never let us begin

the dinner without having
a stiff drink first.

So let's pay respect
to the family tradition...

Like mother like son.
-What the fuck do you mean by that?

She sure was a fine woman...
...hard...and strict...

I'll never forget how she
used to chase us, round and round

with that cow's kneebone
everytime we'd been naughty.

You remember, don't you Mike?
We were the best friends those days...

So, the day we moved
to the neighbourhood

my mother covered my knees with
a bag and told me to go outside.

And I found you guys in the yard...
playing ice hockey.

I stood three hours in goal while
you guys slammed the puck into me.

The shots kept raining in,
but I didn't let a single one past me.

It was like I'd been blessed
with the hands of God.

From that day on,
I was always goal keeper!

Joukka and the hands of God!

I'm sure she was proud!
Oh, you were so fat! But you lived!

You what? We all remember
what a total dick you were!

And you were a damn fatso!

Let it be, Bona.
Even a fat guy can be quick...

And a fine example you are!

Anyway, let's raise
our glasses to Mike!

At this point in the festivities -

I think we ought to turn our
attention to the Gospels.

And since we don't
appear to have a Bible...

Can't you just
forget it for now, Hämäläinen...

Then let me at least share with
you my interpretation...

No! We just started the dinner!

If we can just sit down and
satisfy our appetites.

Stuff yourself
till you're sick.

So, is everything OK then, Mike?

It sure beats prison food.
Isn't that right, Hämäläinen?

So, did you have a lot of
people come to visit you?

None of my relatives bothered.

I think Joukka visited for a while,
but then even he stopped coming.

Of course there was a lady, Lea...

But then something strange happened...
-Mike! Excuse me!

I really must tell you something...

...it's important...

Joukka! Remember who
screwed up the bank job!

What? - The bank job!
It was Hämäläinen!

The car was a piece of shit!
And so was the gun!

The fucking thing went off in my hand!
I didn't realise, I was in such shit.

What are you talking about?

We wouldn't have been able to escape
even a posse of 90 year old cripples!

That's not true! Even in those
days I was a man of honor

Why don't we just kick
this crooks teeth in...

In honor of Mike's freedom!
-Fuck, is that really what happened?

You can't begin to imagine
the fucking shit I've had to go through!

Jesus Christ!
I don't fucking believe him!

Even the moustache is fake!

The phone.
-one of your girlfriends calling.

No! It's a colleague,
Mr. Kantelinen...

He needs some help with his
summer cottage, the roof is leaking.

I really must...
-Just sit down, Joukka.

Excuse me! Despite everything I feel
compelled to sing you one small song...

Written in jail by the now
deceased killer, Mr. Pepe Loivuori.

It was composed in the most
difficult of circumstances -

a man, his guitar...and suffering.

Mike. I'd like you to accompany me,
since I know you play so beautifully.

Ah well... a modest offering...

Well, I wonder how we
could ever do better?

But now, I think we have come to a
point in this evening's festivities...

when we briefly interrupt our meal
to open our Christmas presents!

Mike, if you would be so kind...
I'll slide your present into the machine

Oh no! That disgusting filth again...
There's no way I can remain for this!

Oh dear! Santa's not interested!

So why don't we herd this elephant...
off to some safe place for a while?

I'm no elephant.
-You're a fat fucking elephant...

Anyway...the more I think about it,
we've got every justification for...

Wait a minute guys!

Those videos are extremely sick!

Oh! Poor old Santa in a rage...
-...lock the fucker in the cage

Don't lock the door!

I can't take being locked up!
Please! I'll lose my mind in here!

Hello! Don't you fucking
leave me here alone!

This is just a game, isn't it'!

Fucking Pavarotti!

If you empty out the water,
you'll get a direct connection.

In the joint we chat all night
through the shit house.

I just need to get someone
on the other end of the line.

Get rid of the air lock
and have a direct connection!

Anybody listening?

It's Hämäläinen here!

Anybody on the line'!

Answer me, please! Emergency!

What the hell now?

Answer me if you hear my voice!

Answer me, please!

Who's there?

Where is this coming from, really?

Who is it?
-It's Hämäläinen!

Is he talking to me'!

I'm locked up in here...

How did you end up in there?

Because I have found the Lord!

But... how did you fit in there?

Now, how am I going to
get him out of there?

Telephone...

More roofing work, I bet.

It might sure be something...

I just have to take it easy now
and try to make myself clear...

Didn't I tell you
not to call me anymore

How am I supposed to have
any chance to tell him anything

because you keep on ringing
this fucking phone all the time!

I'm all ears in here!

Helloo! Now tell me your
exact whereabouts...

I'm here in the bathroom!
The brothers next door...

I'm not in the pipe...
my voice just travels through it!

Go to your bathroom! And empty
the water from the toilet bowl!

Joukka! Are you jacking off here?

None of your fucking business!
Even if I am!

Then watch the goddamn shawl!
-I won't let it out of my sight!

Alright. Testing.
One two, one two...

Do you hear me'!
-Just fine, as you can hear...

Explain this. - I am the Santa
Claus you saw in the stairway

There's some guys playing
plumber down there...

And now I got this
claustrophobia...

Jesus, have I made contact
with the other side now'!

Yoohoo! Can you hear me!
-What was that? Who's there?

I'm a prisoner in this bathroom.
Do you know what a bathroom is?

Don't I get a chance
to take part in this?

Who's talking now?
-I'm a lonely old lady -

who'd like to
chat with you, sewer rats...

I'm a prisoner in here and I
need a contact person to help me.

What the fuck are you doing,
bullshitting in the toilet bowl!

I think one of you must be
Mr. Dahlgren from downstairs!

And some whore is yelling
in the other end of the pipe!

They're jacking off in there! Let's see
what that crazy Dahlgren is doing!

I was put away so that I couldn't
see what's going on in this apartment!

Some Bible thumber Hämäläinen
in the neighbours bathroom...

They took palm branches
and went to welcome him calling:

Hosanna, blessed be Him,
who comes in the name of the Lord...

The King of Israel...
And when he acquired a young donkey,

Jesus mounted the beast,
as it was written in the Scriptures.

Fear not Sister Zion,
your King is coming...

Riding on a young donkey.

What the hell...

His disciples did not understand this
at that time, but after Jesus was arisen

they remembered that it was
written in the Scriptures.

And so the people who had seen
him raise Lazarus from the dead...

...were his witnesses.

There's no way any holly rollers
or whores from next door...

start having parties in my building!

And for that reason people
went to welcome him -

because they had heard
that he had made this miracle...

I'll make myself ready...

Damn it! I'm going to tear
the wallpaper off the walls!

What now?
-What was that?

Could it be the doorbell?

Joukka... I just wonder...
if you could go and check it...

No way, do it yourself...
-Who might it be?

I wonder... if there was any way, Joukka
-It's our favorite neighbour again!

Now we'll sure go and check
what it is out there!

Mike... what if it's not the neighbour?

Well, who else could it be, then?

No one, I guess...
Let's beat the hell out of him!

Jesus Christ!

Bona! What is this woman doing in here?
-What...? I haven't got a clue...

Is this some kind of a joke?
-No, no, I guess...

Let's have a check, I can...

Why don't you just fuck off, Joukka...
-OK. I'm staying out of this...

Ah! It is Lea!
Bona here! Do you remember me?

Mike's brother! What a nice accident
that you have come to our door -

because to our great surprise Mike, -

your old boyfriend
has just been freed -

from that robbery, you remember...
-Bona... you hit me...

Let me handle this, Bona...

No! I'd better take care
of this all by myself.

Why don't you guys
just leave us alone.

This young lady and I have got
some unfinished business together...

No! This is definitely my cup of tea!
She's really in bad shape...

Some other problems
occurred to me, too.

Bona, go to the living room, or else
I'm going to pound your face in...

All right! OK! I'll leave...! Gladly!

I'll be leaving soon!

There's no chance I could spend
another second here with you two!

Oh fuck, Joukka...

What now?

Shit! Now they went in there!

What now..'!
-Don't say a word...

just give me a chance to talk
here, in private, OK?

I've got something to tell you,
about an unspoken situation...

Here, in private...

We have to check this out.
We can't leave those two alone...

Listen, Joukka,
I need your help now...

Let us just go in there!
Shut up!

We'll stop them.

What do you mean? Stop them?

Let them clear things up in peace!
Fucking chill out!

Here's a juicy part, so just relax.

-Fuck the pig then! Asshole!

Hämäläinen... Come out...
You're coming out to help me...

OK. I'll give you a hand...

...these tapes come from
the end of times... Denmark, America...

Shut up! You're going to
give me a hand or I'll kill you!

Sorry, I'm not getting
involved in anything more...

See, I'm allergic to nickel now...

It was all kind of sudden...

I don't even carry
any rings from Bona -

even though we're married.

I just have kept this one right here...

It suits you well...
-You can have it back...

No, not ever.

Even if you were going
to kill me, I wouldn't...

Throw it into a lake
if you have no use for it...

I mean, I'd really like you
to keep it as a sign -

of our eternal friendship.

Let's go, or the nut
will blow up in there...

Here they come...
They sure did take their time!

Just take a look at the rosy cheeks
on the couple marching in!

Good day, Bonjour!
So you decided to come after all!

And everything's taken care of now'!
-Yeah.

There they come, best of friends'!

Rosy lips are puckered
and the bees are buzzing around!

Relax! Not a thing happened!
-What? Not a thing happened?

Fuck! It sure seemed like
something else to me...

and what about this
studly here still standing brave...

You think what you want to think.
It's a proven psychological fact...

A psychological fact! Fuck you!
And you are the Freud of this family?

Sure, sure, a brain surgeon, really...

And I'm the shithead...
Lea, always the same old thing!

No one else has to
put up with this kind of shit...

Why don't you just go somewhere
else to make a racket?

What about your dear brother?
What has he got on his conscience?

This idiot hangs around here
day in day out and jacks off...

While my whole life is
being flushed down the toilet!

Jacking off?! Fuck you!

I don't give a damn about
that kind of stuff!

Besides, I've got a lady for every night
in every fucking local bar!

Goddamn it, you... faggot!

By the way, Joukka!
My best ex-friend!

You should have a present up your
sleeve, something we could all enjoy.

I already told you. All my gifts
have been handed out already...

What the fuck...
-I don't have anything left...

Doorbell.

Silence. At last.

Who the fuck is this, then?
Joukka! Who is this?

How would I know...
-Do you know, Lea?

Never seen him in my life...
-What the fuck is he doing here then?

What if he's a cop?
-What do you mean a cop?

Cop or no cop, I assure you
he isn't sure going nowhere now...

Is this rush hour or what?
-Mike, why don't you...?

Sure I can...

Well! I knew it all along!
A fag party!

What's this!
-It's the snoop!

Here you are poking each other
up the ass so the shit is flying...

Please, don't! He's not aware of
what he's doing! Please, no violence!

Stop it!

Mike! Don't kill him!

Sorry"!

Goddamn psychopath,
you almost killed Lee's brother...!

Listen, we're good buddies!
Joukka, could you get up?

Hämäläinen, are you ready'!

We're going to fix up little brother!

Shut up! You don't
know what you're talking about...

What are you talking about"?

Can't you guess how he's
turned himself into a human wreck?

What do you mean?

I mean... that I left it with him...

It...?

What the fuck...
-What's going on in there?

Are they defying the word of God...?
-Not on your life...

They are devout boys of the Lord...

Is the toilet bowl preacher there too'!
-Yes indeed he is!

And now they are all at their devotions.

But how the fuck are you involved
in this... you bastard Dahlgren!

Not a clue!

Now, where's the money!

I already told you... it's all gone.

Have you fucking spent it all!

And been partying all around!

Joukka, I have to tell you -

that you're no
longer one of us guys.

So, don't you bother coming
knocking on our door anymore!

It's one thing to be a thief,
but a fucking traitor! Shit!

I held on to it longer
than I could afford...

But this is just what I am,
retired at the age of 35.

And what made me the kind I am,
it also took hold of the money...

and I've only been able
to watch like an outsider.

Well, I am a drunk...
an alcoholic, as you are well aware

Such guys don't worry about where
the money comes from for the next drink.

Did you hear that, Mike?
-Just knock it off, Bona.

I'm not going to whine
about the money if it's gone...

You just get stress and have to
run after these kinds of characters...

just leave, and I'll sit pretty here
waiting around with the cop...

Is he really a cop!

How could I have guessed they
listen to toilet bowls these days!

I'm going home now.
The party must be over...

Everybody's gone!
I went there... and everybody's gone!

What? -He's gone...
the cop or whoever he is!

Good day, evening.

I just came here to bring this boot,
I saw it fall down from here...

Jesus! You're still alive!
-What do you mean?

Things just got kind of crazy...
when you stumbled into the hallway...

because there was this hole!
But no need to worry anymore...

We covered it with a board!
-What..'!

We covered it with a board,
and now it is just like before...

just like there never was a hole...
just like nothing ever happened at all!

So, what's this now'!

This must be on account
of the toilet bowl...

I just had to spread the word...

I'd better take responsibility for my
call and take those lambs into my care...

Take care, you guys...
-Excuse me...

Are you the toilet bowl preacher?

How the devil did you
figure that out, then?

The whole town is
already talking about you...

I didn't really figure anything out.

I subconsciously just started talking
about important matters to me...

And, in the end, what difference -

does it make where or how
the message is passed on...

You guys could start keeping
your ears and eyes open...

So you don't get no surprises...

Well... see you later...

Merry Christmas and Thank you!

In jail you'll miss Christmas the most..
that's why the best present