Josh Kirby: Time Warrior! Chap. 1: Planet of the Dino-Knights (1995) - full transcript
In the 25th century mankind has found a device capable of destroying the universe. Irwin 1138 separates the Nullifier into 6 pieces which he scatters throughout time. When the evil Dr. ...
(MultiCom Jingle)
(dramatic music)
(pod exploding)
- My name is Josh Kirby.
I was just your average ninth grader.
My biggest problem (chuckles)
was getting good grades,
and my idea of excitement
was racing my bicycle.
(bell ringing)
Yes!
I never thought time
would catch up with me,
but I couldn't have imagined
(train horn blaring)
that hundreds of years from now mankind
would invent the Nullifier,
a device capable of controlling
or destroying the universe.
- - [Irwin 1138] Prepare for the storm.
- [Josh] A scientist
named Irwin 1138 tried to
disassemble and hide the Nullifier,
but even he couldn't stop...
- [Irwin 1138] Dr. Zoetrope.
(lasers blasting)
- [Dr. Zoetrope] Give me the Nullifier.
- [Irwin 1138] You're too late, Zoetrope.
- [Dr. Zoetrope] It's
never too late for me.
- Irwin and Zoetrope have been chasing
each other across the time stream,
trying to be the first to
find the Nullifier's pieces.
This time they're gonna land in 1995.
The place, my front yard.
Now I'm going along for
the ride of all time.
What's going on?
Where are we?
- [Irwin 1138] I hope you
prepared to do battle, young man.
This will be a war through time
and Dr. Zoetrope will take no prisoners.
(pod exploding)
- [Josh] We've got help from a warrior.
- My name is Azabeth Siege.
- Oh, she's amazing.
- [Josh] And a magical
creature called Prism
to show us the way.
Together we're on a quest through time,
visiting different worlds to fight for
the Nullifier's pieces.
- [Dr. Zoetrope] I'm
obviously in the right place
and the right time.
- Because of Zoetrope ever assembles
the Nullifier, he'll conquer time itself.
I've gotta try and save the universe.
(triumphant instrumental music)
I was just a 14-year-old kid
before my adventure began,
but now I'm Josh Kirby, Time Warrior.
(uplifting instrumental music)
(dramatic music)
(electronic beeping)
(humming)
- [Irwin 1138] Prepare for the storm.
(dramatic music)
(electronic beeping)
(dramatic music)
(pulsing throb)
Next.
(electronic beeping)
(pulsing throb)
Next.
(electronic beeping)
(pulsing throb)
Next.
(pulsing throb)
(dramatic music)
(electronic beeping)
(pulsing throb)
We need another 93 seconds.
Seal the door.
(electronic beeping)
(pulsing throb)
Quick, load the final component.
- [Man] Let's go.
(door crackling)
(door banging)
- [Man] He's through!
Back there!
Let's go!
- [Irwin 1138] Dr. Zoetrope.
- [Man] It's him! Run!
(lasers blasting)
- [Man] Get out of there!
- Ah, uh!
- [Man] We can't hold him off!
- [Man] Come on, we gotta get out of here!
This way!
There he is!
- [Dr. Zoetrope] Give me
the Nullifier component.
- [Irwin 1138] You're too late, Zoetrope.
- [Dr. Zoetrope] It's
never too late for me.
(lasers blasting)
- [Irwin 1138] Oh! Ah! Oh!
(electronic beeping)
- In the name of all of creation,
twisted old man, what have you done?
(dramatic music)
(clock buzzing)
- Mmm.
- [Dad] Movin' out, Josh.
Breakfast is almost ready.
(birds chirping)
(soft instrumental music)
- Morning, Dad.
- Morning.
- Morning, Genghis.
Conquered a new kingdom
while I was sleepin'?
- Brain food, son.
Drink up.
- Dad, the calcium in milk's
good for teeth and bones,
not brains.
- [Dad] Eh.
How's the new watch holding up?
- Guess.
- Another one bites the dust, huh?
- Yup.
- What is it with you and watches, Josh?
- I don't know.
The school nurse said I
had some screwy metabolism
or something.
My stopwatch still works, though.
- Talk to that guidance counselor yet?
- Dad, I'm already taking two
advanced placement classes.
My head's gonna explode.
Yeah, I talked to the counselor.
That's what I was studying for last night.
The advanced placement chemistry test.
I'm supposed to take that today.
- Don't just take it, Josh.
- I know, I know, don't just take it.
Ace it.
- Your mother would've been proud of ya.
The two of you would've
gotten along great.
She was one smart lady.
That's where you get your
brains from, you know.
- She was cute, too, right?
- Not just cute.
Beautiful.
- See ya later, Genghis.
(light playful music)
- Josh, be careful.
And ace that test.
- No problemo, Dad.
(light playful music)
Yeah, ha ha!
Rur, rur, yeah.
Yeah!
Woo-hoo!
(upbeat pop music)
Woo! Yeah!
(upbeat pop music)
Woo, woah, sorry.
Woah, oh!
Woah!
(laughing)
(bell ringing)
And woah!
Yes!
Josh Kirby sets a new world record.
Ah!
- Aztecs were the dominant
civilization of Mexico
when Hernando Cortes
invaded that country in 1519
under the auspices of the Spanish Empire.
Yes, Joshua.
- Ms. Mandelbaum, are
we almost to the part
where the Aztec priests
rip out human hearts
with their bare hands and eat 'em?
(kids talking over each other)
- Mr. Kirby, this is a
G-rated history class.
We will not be studying
anything that is not rated G.
- But Mrs. Mandelbaum,
isn't history kind of
made up of all ratings?
From G to PG to PG-13 to even R?
(laughing)
(bell ringing)
(kids conversing in background)
- Yo, Josh man, Kirby man.
That was incredible.
What an amazing concept.
R-rated history.
Imagine ancient Rome babes
dancing around in togas
with grapes, man.
With grapes!
- I think Beth Sullivan thinks I'm weird.
- Josh man, Kirby man,
to all that cutting edge
people here at Green Oaks High,
you're a guy of major import.
But Beth Sullivan, cheerleader,
Miss Teen USA semi-finalist,
and most popular girl in school.
Beth Sullivan definitely
does not know you exist.
- Thanks a lot, Irwin.
- Don't mention it.
I'm always here for ya.
- Hey, Josh.
How's it goin'?
- It would go a lot
better if I could breathe.
- Well, what's the status
of my homework, pal?
- Um.
- You didn't forget about my homework.
Did you, pal?
'Cause my homework is
very, very important to me.
- Well, actually, Duke,
I've been thinking about
your homework a lot lately.
- You hear that?
He's been thinking.
Now that's what I like to hear.
I love this guy.
Mwah.
- And after much thought,
I came to the conclusion
that it's pointless
for me to do your homework,
'cause the whole point
of doing your homework
is so you can learn.
And how can you learn if I'm
doin' all your homework for ya?
- Oh, I'll learn, Kirby.
I'll learn how to kick your butt.
You do my homework.
- Duke, what are you doing?
Why are you picking on this guy?
He's weird.
- Ah, babe.
You got me all wrong.
Ah, my pal Josh and me are
just workin' out some business.
Ain't that right, pal?
Sure, that's right.
Just go along with the guys, honey.
I'll see you in the gym.
The homework, Kirby.
- Don't worry, man.
I got your back.
(bell ringing)
(light playful music)
(dog whining)
- Genghis?
Hey, Genghis.
What's wrong, Genghis?
Huh?
(electric buzzing)
Holy moly!
(zapping)
(electronic beeping)
- X marks the spot.
(footsteps thumping)
(electronic beeping)
(knocking)
- Nobody's home.
(electronic beeping)
(knocking)
All right, all right, I'm coming.
Don't have a fit.
Ah!
Woah, Josh man.
You almost gave me a heart attack.
What the heck are you wearing?
- It's my dad's spare
industrial gear from the plant.
I'm a little worried about contamination.
- From me?
- No.
From this.
- Cool!
I give up.
There's nothing in any of this stuff
that remotely resembles that
crazy thing-a-ma-jig you found.
- You know, it must be pretty cool to have
a dad who's a physicist.
- My dad's a wuss.
But it does come in handy when
it comes to science projects.
Maybe your dog dug it up.
Maybe it's some kind of
bizarre bone that got
buried in China and
some how worked its way
through the earth's core until it wound up
in your backyard.
- Get real.
I told you a million times,
it was crackling like
lightning when I found it.
It must have some hidden
power source inside somewhere.
- [Irwin] Hey, maybe it's
some kind of new battery.
- And maybe it's some new
kind of nuclear warhead.
(phone ringing)
(gasping)
(phone ringing)
- Phone.
Lee residence.
Irwin Esquire speaking.
- [Josh's Dad] Irwin, is Josh over there?
- He's coming down now.
- Who is it?
- [Irwin] Guess.
- Dad?
- Josh, get your but home right now.
- [Josh] But Dad, I found
the most incredible thing
in Genghis Khan's doghouse.
- I've told you a thousand times,
you come straight home from school,
finish your homework,
and then we'll talk
about your social life.
- But Dad.
- 15 minutes or your bike
privileges are history.
- I'm dead.
(footsteps thumping)
(doorbell ringing)
(electronic beeping)
(laughing)
- How long did it take you
jokers to build this thing
down at the plant?
Hey Herb, is that you in there?
(laughing)
Uh, uh, uh, uh.
(dramatic music)
- Nothing.
(dog barking)
- [Josh] I told you a million times,
it was crackling like
lightning when I found it.
It must have some hidden power source
inside somewhere.
- For a 20th century primitive,
you have been most helpful.
(dog barking)
(pulsing lightning)
- Ahh!
Woah!
- [Irwin 1138] The Nullifier
component, young man.
I must have it.
- Pardon me?
- [Irwin 1138] Don't toy with me, boy.
I know it's here in this
time, in this place.
I sent it here.
- [Dr. Zoetrope] Don't
listen to him, Joshua.
This evil genius wants
to destroy the earth.
Turn the Nullifier component over to me
and I'll see that it's
put to its proper use.
- [Irwin 1138] Don't listen to him, boy.
- Wha, what?
How did you know my name?
- Your friend Genghis Khan told me.
- Oh, oh, my dog.
My dog told you my name?
Okay.
Look, I'm sure this is some
kind of dream or hallucination
brought on by too much
dye and too little sleep,
but just in case it's not,
I have got to get home before
my dad gets really PO'd.
Well, it was really
nice meeting you people
from other worlds.
Goodbye.
(lasers blasting)
Hey, take it easy, pal.
- [Irwin 1138] He's
nobody's pal, young man.
(lasers blasting)
- My bike!
(lasers blasting)
(creature jabbering)
Hey, who are you?
(creature jabbering)
Hey!
Holy moly!
- [Irwin 1138] Quick! Prism!
Quick, before he gets away.
- [Josh] Oh no you don't.
- [Irwin 1138] Brace yourself, Prism.
Prepare for the storm.
- [Josh] Oh. Ah!
- Oh, no.
(dog barking)
- Woah! Ah!
- Calm down, young man.
You shouldn't be here.
- Oh, you're telling me.
Well, what's going on?
And where are we?
- Hyper time.
The limbo which flows between every moment
of past, present, and future.
There, we've got him, Prism.
(crashing)
- Who is this guy?
And why are we chasing him?
- That, young man, is the
insane Dr. Zoetrope 366.
And we are not chasing him.
I am chasing him.
- So you better step on it
'cause he's getting away.
(engines rumbling)
- Ah!
- [Josh] Woah!
- All right.
- Come on.
- Thank you, young man.
Dr. Zoetrope must not be allowed to escape
the Nullifier component.
And...
- Nullifier?
What's a Nullifier component?
- The Nullifier was a strange alien device
which washed up in the Milky Way galaxy.
Young Zoetrope was the only man on earth
clever enough to decipher
its true purpose.
To nullify all of existence,
past, present, and future.
- A Nullifier, perfect, transit.
A drainer void.
You mean that thing I found in my backyard
could destroy the world?
- No, not on its own.
But when it's reassembled
together with its five
other component parts.
The authorities confiscated the Nullifier
and ordered it destroyed,
but having this brilliant
discovery taken away from him
drove the already unstable
Dr. Zoetrope over the edge
and deep into the pit of madness.
He was imprisoned for his own good,
and for everyone else's.
- Woah.
- Unfortunately, the Nullifier
proved to be indestructible.
Luckily I had just perfected
a chrono-displacement device
capable of launching inanimate object
into the fourth dimension.
- Wait, you invented a time machine?
- Isn't that just what I said?
- I was able to split
the Nullifier into six
component parts and then
randomly launch each one
into a different time zone.
But that blasted know-it-all
criminal Zoetrope
managed to escape from prison and steal
the coordinates from my computer.
Now that immature madman
means to collect each
of the Nullifier components
from all across time,
rebuild the Nullifier, and
then press the start button,
destroying everything
that has ever existed
or ever will exist.
- But won't that destroy him, too?
- I told you, he's mad.
- But if the Nullifier
has to be reassembled
for it to work, why do
you need all six parts?
Why don't you just grab
one and that would keep
him from putting it back
together, wouldn't it?
(laughing)
- It's too risky.
Zoetrope is so darn smart
he just might reassemble
the Nullifier using only five pieces.
Or four, or three, or two, or--
- Okay, okay, I get the idea.
But how could he do all this?
I thought you invented the time machine?
- Turns out Zoetrope invented
that lousy time armor
of his before I even built my time pod.
He was just so obsessed
with the Nullifier,
he didn't bother to tell anybody.
- Well, you gotta admit,
time armor is cooler than a time pod.
- Do you think I don't know that?
Sure, time armor's cool.
It's not very practical, is it?
You can only get one
person into time armor.
Look how many people you
can get into my time pod.
- Yeah, I guess.
(whooshing)
- Time bomb!
Hit the deck!
(bomb exploding)
(electricity crackling)
Blast.
We've lost him.
Prism, concentrate.
Try and get a fix on
the Nullifier component.
- [Josh] What's he doing?
- Well, Prism is something
you 20th century types
call a bloodhound.
For some reason I have yet to determine,
seems that Prism has a vital link with
the Nullifier component.
Whenever he gets close to a
piece of the alien device,
he begins to glow with colors.
Now...
Without Prism here I'd be totally unable
to pick up Zoetrope's trail.
- All right, come on.
- [Irwin 1138] What are you doing?
- I'm just making sure this isn't a dream.
Look, mister.
I've got to get out of here.
- Young man, I didn't ask you to intrude,
so you better make the best of it.
- I didn't ask you to
bring me along, either.
I demand you take me home.
- Take me home. (laughs)
Such petty concerns.
I've got to catch Zoetrope
before it's too late.
- I don't believe this.
Look, I appreciate the need
to save the world and all,
but I think I'm in a little over my head.
Look, I'm not gonna be any help to you.
I'm only 14.
So just drive me back home
and I'll be out of your hair.
- Will you stop harping?
I can't go anywhere until
I get my time pod fixed.
And we're not going back anywhere.
After Zoetrope's mad hopping
through the time stream,
your era will cease to exist.
- What are you talking about,
my era won't exist anymore?
You're crazy.
- Perhaps you'll believe me if you see it.
- [Josh] What's going on?
This isn't my home.
- [Irwin 1138] I'm afraid
you're wrong, young man.
That is your home.
- No, no, I don't believe you.
- You won't believe anything, will you?
Hmm, read that.
- September 14, 1994.
7:32:59am.
September 14th, 7:32am.
I'm supposed to be getting
up for school right now.
Duke Dunkington's supposed
to beat me up today
when I don't give him his homework.
- I'm sorry to tell you this, young man.
But the chaos caused by
Zoetrope's mad rampage
through the time stream
has altered history
in a somewhat catastrophic manner.
- Green Oaks, my house, my dad.
Oh, Beth Sullivan.
I never got the chance to
show her I wasn't weird.
All right, Josh, come on.
Wake up.
You can do it.
Just, just wake up.
Where's that stupid alarm clock?
- Get ahold of yourself.
Our only chance now is to
track down Zoetrope 366
and put an end to his deadly
romp through the time stream
before he retrieves all
the Nullifier components
and puts an end to the universe.
- How will that help?
My universe is already destroyed.
How are we gonna get my
world back to the way it was?
The way it's supposed to be?
- I don't know.
But I assure you, it's
all very real, Joshua.
That is what Zoetrope called you.
- Yeah.
Yeah, Josh Kirby.
- Look, Joshua.
Let's not get off on the wrong foot.
I am Irwin 1138, one of
the most brilliant men
of the 21st century.
- One of the most.
- Well, second actually.
- Hmm, second.
Who's the first?
- You've already met him.
Ha, I'm afraid I have to admit
that young Zoetrope 366's
brainpower exceeds my own
by 8.6 cerebral grams.
- Ah, just my luck.
I had to hook up with the
second-most brilliant man
of the 21st century.
- No need to get personal, young man.
- I'm sorry.
I guess I was just upset about, you know.
Here, look, maybe if we drag Zoetrope back
the way he came, retracing
steps through time,
everything will go back
the way it was before
he showed up.
- It's impossible.
The time-displacement
postulate clearly states
that temporal events, once altered,
can never be returned
to their original state.
- Well who came up with that?
- [Irwin 1138] Well, I did, of course.
- Have you ever tested that
postulate outside a laboratory?
- Um, it's never been tested at all.
- Well, you've gotta admit,
there's still a chance.
Look, besides, you've gotta
find a way to put things back.
If the late 20th century
is this messed up,
the 25th century must be really screwed.
- Your primitive 20th century reasoning
is inescapable.
Perhaps there is a chance after all.
I hope you're prepared
to do battle, young man.
This will be a war through time,
and Dr. Zoetrope will take no prisoners.
- All right, it's now or never.
Let's go.
(dramatic music)
- 1205 AD.
Prepare for the storm.
(engines rumbling)
(engines blasting)
(upbeat instrumental music)
(doors whirring)
- [Josh] So you're telling
me we're in medieval England?
Yeah, right.
Woah.
- Your sacrifice will not be forgotten,
good friend blacksmith.
Someday when William of
Dearborn can be restored
to his rightful throne,
all this may be over.
(Prism jabbering)
- How do you do that, Prism?
- Oh, it's some kind
of complex transference
of matter particles from
one spacial zone to another.
- So in other words, you have no idea.
- Do you know, when I was your age,
what's that noise?
(whirring)
Ah.
Oh.
- Hey, are you okay?
- [Irwin 1138] Yes, oh.
- On your knees, slaver.
- Slaver?
We're not slavers.
- You spare me your lies, boy.
Send me back to my comrades
at the front immediately.
- Look, I would if I could, but I can't.
- Don't you realize I
could sever your puny head
from your narrow shoulders
in a millisecond?
- Now that wouldn't do
either of us any good
because I'd be dead
and you'd be stuck here
in 1205 AD.
- What year did you say it was?
(Prism jabbering)
Ah!
Slaver beast, get away from me.
- Hold it right there.
Now listen to me.
First of all, you have
no reason to be mad at us
because we didn't bring you here.
Second of all, you're only
a few years older than me,
so don't call me boy.
My name is Josh Kirby.
- And I am Azabeth Siege.
- Take care of my horse.
See that my son Jamie grows up strong.
He likes a wormy apple now and then.
My horse, I mean.
(growling)
(leaves rustling)
- Uh, Irwin?
- Busy, Josh.
- No, Irwin.
- Look, Josh, I...
(screaming)
- [Azabeth] Take your hands
off me, you imbeciles.
- Josh, do you think they mean us harm?
- I'd say that's pretty much
an affirmative, Irwin 1138.
All right, would somebody please tell us
what's going on?
- You have that right.
We were to sacrifice one of our own,
drawn by lot.
A meal to give the baron's hungry dragon.
- Dragon?
Irwin, did he say dragon?
- Don't worry, Josh, Azabeth.
It's all just some kind of primitive myth.
There never were any
such things as dragons.
This must be just some
kind of medieval jest
played on strangers.
(laughing)
(deep rumbling)
- [Man] It's coming!
Let's go!
[Woman] Hurry!
- [Man] This way!
Wait!
(growling)
- Sorry about this lads and lady.
Thanks all the same.
- [Man] Come with me.
Hurry! Quickly!
(roaring)
- No such things as dragons, you said.
Then what's that?
- That's no dragon, Josh.
I can understand how these simple peasants
might think so.
It's, it's a dinosaur.
(roaring)
It must've been accidentally
transported here
in the wake of Dr. Zoetrope's escape
through the time stream.
- You know, I think it thinks we're lunch.
(roaring)
(soft instrumental music)
- Sire, the sacrificial
party has returned,
but the blacksmith has been spared.
Captured strangers are said
to be at this very moment
being sacrificed in his stead.
- Strangers?
What strangers?
(groaning)
- God, this isn't good, Irwin 1138.
- I'm inclined to agree with you, Joshua.
- If only I had my weapons.
(roaring)
- We must rescue them, mustn't we?
(roaring)
- Hey, who are you guys?
- I might ask you the same question.
(roaring)
(chomping)
- Bring me your weapon.
(chomping)
(roaring)
(dramatic music)
- Who are you?
- I'm Jolly Jack.
Who are you?
(chomping)
(roaring)
(groaning)
- Hide them in the blacksmith's hut.
- But Azabeth!
- No, we must run now,
boy, or we are lost, too.
- My stick, thank you.
Keep going!
(roaring)
- Take her.
- [Man] Good morning, Charles.
- [Man] Morning to you.
(laughing)
- Jamie!
Ha, welcome gents.
I'm the blacksmith here in
our little piece of heaven.
And this is my son, Jamie.
Say hello, Jamie.
- Hello.
- Hi, I'm Josh.
And this is Irwin 1138.
- Hello, Jamie.
- I feel terrible about
what almost happened
to you today.
Really I do.
I offer you safe haven in my little shop
and if there's ever
anything I can do for you,
just let me know, all right?
- What's that?
- This?
This is--
- Good sirs, William of Dearborn requests
your presence in his hut.
He begs you come now if you please.
- William, that's the one who rescued us?
- Great.
We've got to organize
another rescue, pronto.
One of our group's been captured by
the evil guy on the dinosaur,
or the ah, the dragon.
- The baron will decide if
there's to be any kind of...
- Rescue?
Out of the question.
- But why?
- You've stumbled into a situation
you know nothing about, boy.
Why don't you both go
back where you came from?
Wherever that is.
- All right, it's true.
We're strangers, but our
friend needs our help.
- We all need help.
Whether we could all find it.
- Hmm.
- You're puzzled, strangers.
- Well, a little clarification
would be welcome, yes.
- I am Theodore and you've
met our friend the blacksmith.
- Mmm, my name is Irwin 1138.
This is Josh Kirby.
- Our leader, William of Dearborn,
was until recent times
the baron of this region.
- And a better lord and
leader no man ever had.
- But William's younger brother,
the evil Lord Henry,
treacherously betrayed him,
took over his lands, and
set himself up as baron.
- And a more miserable jackal
of a man you'll never find.
- Why didn't William fight back?
- He did.
- We all did at first,
but the Lord Henry bought the cruel might
of a mercenary army to protect him.
And then the dragon came.
And to feed its hunger,
the Lord Henry demanded a
sacrifice to the great beast
each new moon.
- Each new moon?
- That's once a month.
- I knew that.
- The dragon was the final straw.
It's terrible presence sapped
William's spirit to fight.
If we don't feed the beast each new moon,
Henry has threatened to let it destroy
the village and devour us all.
William dares not let that happen.
So we do nothing.
Yeah, but you saved us.
William couldn't bear the
thought of responsibility
for your deaths too.
But now he worries that
there will come renewed
reprisals against the village
from he dragon Lord Henry.
(roaring)
(laughing)
- [Woman] You children come back here now.
(children laughing)
- Look at this.
- [Man] Come together.
(people conversing in background)
- [Henry] Damn my brother's eyes,
the gall to interfere with the sacrifice.
The royal dragon has
not been fed in weeks.
His humor is most foul.
- Oh, baron.
Can thou tellest me
what is black and white,
is black and white, is black and white,
and black and white?
- A similarly garbed clergyman
rolling down the hill.
- Oh, jester.
- [Jester] Sire.
- Have you eaten yet?
- [Jester] Yes.
Thank you, sire.
(fingers snapping)
- [Henry] Good.
Then prepare to be eaten.
Feed him to my dragon.
- Wait, wait.
Wouldst thou like to hear a dirty jest?
- You will pay for taking me prisoner,
you mongrel dog.
(grunting)
- Will I?
(grunting)
(dramatic music)
- Unusual jewelry.
What if I take it?
- Then you would be a thief
as well as a coward.
(laughing)
- Have her bathed and scented.
Dressed in finery from
Lady Jennifer's wardrobe
and brought to my chambers
for supper this evening.
- Yes, Baron.
- Welcome back, my Lord.
- Ah, the lady of the house.
- Well, I hope that is
what I am to you, my Lord.
- Yes, yes, I plucked you from the muck
of the village to be my consort.
When was it, Lady?
- 'Twas a year ago, my Lord.
Surely you haven't forgotten.
- A year, you say?
I swear it feels like 10.
- Will you take supper tonight, my Lord?
- I dine alone tonight, Lady.
Eat with your maids if
you must have company.
Send for the grand wizard.
(people talking in background)
- Announcing the grand wizard.
(dramatic music)
- Greetings, royal alchemist.
(dramatic music)
- Greetings, sire.
For your collection.
- Splendid.
What else have you been up to this day?
- Still endeavoring to change
lead into gold for you, sir,
though it may take awhile.
- Succeed and you shall
see how truly grateful
I can be, grand wizard.
But I did not send for
you to speak of this,
but of another matter.
A matter of some newcomers.
- Newcomers, Lord?
- Yes, three of them.
I have one imprisoned in
the dungeon right now.
A girl.
Most beautiful.
Almost unearthly.
The other two, a boy and an old man,
with my dear brother
William down in the village.
They remind me of you somehow, wizard.
- Me, Lord?
- Yes.
Perhaps they are kinsman of yours?
- No, Lord.
I told you I was born right here.
- Yes, so you said when
first you came to us
to help us tame the
dragon with your device.
- I hope that I can
continue to be of service
to you, Lord Henry.
- So do I, grand wizard.
So do I.
- Well, well, well.
Azabeth Siege, all chained
up and no place to go.
- Zoetrope, you vile serpent.
- Tell me, when did you
arrive in this time?
- I'll tell you nothing.
(laughing)
- Have Irwin 1138 and Josh Kirby been able
to locate the Nullifier component?
Answer me.
- Come a little closer
and you'll feel my answer.
- Ah, ah.
Foolish, foolish girl.
- How did you turn Prism against us?
(laughing)
- That was a simple matter of a mind plug.
I could implant one in you.
But I think I'll wait.
- We both know if you have Prism,
you have a foolproof way to
locate the Nullifier component.
So why ask me?
- Well, unfortunately
one of the side effects
of the mind plug is little
Prism's mane of many colors
no longer functions.
But I will find the Nullifier
component, fear not.
Enjoy your stay in the
dungeon, Azabeth Siege.
I have a feeling it's going
to be a very long one.
(Prism jabbering)
- You little devil.
(glass breaking)
Stop that!
(Prism jabbering)
I know with the mind plug in you,
you can't remember your
friends, little one.
But they are here now and I must find
the Nullifier before they do.
The locator in my helmet was damaged
in the ride into this time.
Too bad.
I wonder.
It was putting the mind plug in that took
away your mane of many colors.
Perhaps if I take the mind plug out
it will bring it back.
(Prism jabbering)
Ha.
- [Prism] Ah.
Ow! Ah!
(Prism jabbering)
- Ah, wonderful.
You have given me an idea.
- Come on then.
Come on, boy.
Come on.
Get it.
(horse neighing)
- What's that, then?
- Uh, well that, that there is a,
that's a food storage
compartment is what that is.
Yeah, you put your food in there,
and then it doesn't get
spoiled or anything.
- You're an inventor?
- Yes.
Oh, yeah.
You could say that, yes.
- I'm an inventor, too.
(spitting)
See that pale with the
holes punched in it?
Gives Beatrice a nice cool
shower in the heat of the day.
I invented that.
Keeps food from spoiling.
Why don't you just eat
the food before it spoils?
How does it work?
- Well, right now it doesn't.
And we would like your help
to mend it, master blacksmith.
- Oh, it's the least I can do.
Bring it here, gents.
- Right, I'll untie it.
You bring it here.
(dramatic music)
(roaring)
(Prism jabbering)
- We will find the Nullifier if we have to
walk the entire baroning,
my little friend.
(Prism jabbering)
- Wizards.
- [Irwin 1138] Try the left.
(pod creaking)
Darn it.
Oh.
No good.
I'll have to disassemble
the coaxial interocator.
- You know, I think the
blacksmith's starting
to wonder about us.
- As long as he doesn't
start tinkering around
on his own.
- Well, he's keeping pretty
busy with that slingshot.
- Mmm.
- It's a birthday surprise for Jamie,
so don't tell him.
I only wonder if we should tell.
- What? The truth?
Not unless he asks us.
Look, he's our friend and he trusts us.
That's enough for now.
(grunting)
- In you go, girly.
Get in the little bath, top neither.
- Why have you brought me here?
- The baron wants you bathed and dressed
to supper with him tonight, that's why.
Though for the life of me,
I can't see what you've got to offer
that the Lady Jennifer ain't.
- Who is this Lady Jennifer?
- The baron's lady, that's who.
Well, she's gonna like you being here,
I can tell you that.
Still, ours is not to reason why.
Now, off with your knickers.
- My what?
- Your knickers, your
tops and bottoms, love.
- I will not be stripped of my uniform.
- Oh, yes, you will, me fine girl.
You'll either do it yourself
or I'll do it for ya.
- All right, I shall undress myself,
you slime serpent from the
poison rivers of Amdor.
- Oh, no use insulting me, deary.
Just rolls off me like water
off a duck's ass, it does.
Now you get them queer-lookin' things off
and I'll be back with somethin' pretty
for you to put on later.
- What's wrong, Josh?
- Our friend Azabeth was captured by your
dragon Lord Henry.
We've gotta find a way to rescue her.
But William and everyone
else say it's impossible.
That there's no defense
against Henry's T-Rex,
or dragon, that is.
- I know where there's another dragon.
- Azabeth doesn't know,
but I care a lot about her.
We can't just do nothing.
What did you just say?
- I know where there's another dragon.
Suppose to be, anyway.
- Another dragon?
Are you serious?
Oh, oh, I've gotta find William.
(suspenseful music)
- How's the water, little lady?
Fine, I hope.
All right then, put these on when you're
through with your bath.
- Then what?
- Then you sit here and
wait until the baron
calls for ya, that's what.
(suspenseful music)
- Put that down.
- [Azabeth] Who are you?
- Never mind who I am.
That is my dress and I said put it down.
- [Azabeth] You're the
Lady Jennifer, aren't you?
- How dare you even speak my name,
you common trash.
(grunting)
Get off me!
Get off me this instant!
- Stop!
Stop or I will have to apply a sleep lock
and I warn you,
waking from a sleep lock is not pleasant.
- The baron is mine.
He is mine.
Do you understand?
- You think I wish to
take the baron for myself?
- Ah, don't try to deny it.
I know you do.
- [Azabeth] But I swear I do not.
- Ha, liar.
- Even if I wanted to,
the codes of Kang are
quite specific about the danger,
the 17th in particular.
Whosoever takes another woman's man
does keep close watch on her own.
- Codes, Kang, I know nothing of these.
You're just trying to confuse me.
- If I let you up, will you quit?
- Yes.
- Jennifer, listen to me.
- Lady Jennifer.
- Lady Jennifer, all I want,
all I want is to escape this castle
and return to my friends.
- Well, I can tell you that's
not all the baron wants.
- I care not what that man wants.
- Ah, you say that now, but wait.
He fancies you.
Yes, he will try to woo you.
And he can be quite persuasive.
- What is this wooing?
- What is to woo?
To win thy desired one's heart.
To make the tender advance.
- I am my own woman and I cannot be wooed
as you say unless I wish to be,
and I do not wish to be.
- Ah, yes.
I was much as you in the beginning.
But Henry is, he's quite forceful.
And I saw quickly it was better
to give in than to fight.
- It's a shame you've
had to give into any man.
- Oh.
- Jennifer, wait.
(door closing)
(sighing)
- Don't you see?
It's a chance, at least.
I mean, if another dragon does exist,
it might be possible to use it to win back
your crown and rescue my friend.
- I, too, have heard reports
of this other dragon,
Josh Kirby, but no one has yet seen it.
I repeat, no one.
- So what?
I mean, maybe it's shy or something.
But if it does exist,
wouldn't you want to know about it?
All right, do you want your
castle and stuff back or not?
- Take care, boy.
You tread heavily.
- Hey, whatever it takes.
Our friend is in trouble,
and if you won't go, I'll go myself.
- All right.
Theodore, organize a search
party with Jolly Jack.
A hunting we will go,
it seems, for a dragon.
- All right, excellent.
- Which shall it be, dresser?
The black or the red?
- Black.
Black does suit you, Baron.
- It is true.
Black is my color.
Yet I feel the red will
make a certain emotion
of mine clear to the maid
we captured this morning.
- Yes, I see your point.
The red then, and good luck, sire.
- I don't need luck, dolt.
I have charm, looks,
money, land, a castle,
and a dragon.
- Yes, sire.
- Good day, your ladyship.
- Who says it is?
(knocking)
- Come.
- It is only me, my Lord.
- Oh, rapture.
Leave us.
What can I do for you now, madam.
- Oh, and why do you speak
to me so formal, my Lord.
- Formally, Lady.
- I beg pardon?
- Formally.
When will you learn to
speak the king's English?
- I've taken lessons as you wish, my Lord.
- I should think that
tutors would have greater
success with my dragon.
- When will this cease?
- When will what cease?
- These, these insults.
These barbs.
They cut so deeply.
These cruelty marks that I have not earned
and do not deserve.
- 'Tis the way I always
speak to you, Lady.
I know not what you mean.
- 'Tis that barbarian wench, isn't it?
- Which barbarian wench?
- Don't play innocent with
me, Henry of Dearborn.
You're having her dressed right now
and in my own gown, no less.
Oh, Henry.
Aren't I good enough for you?
I once was, you know.
- Don't press me on that point, Lady.
You may get an answer
you don't wish to hear.
- I will not tolerate this.
I will not.
- No?
I think you will.
I remind you, Lady Jennifer,
that you are here by my good graces
and my good graces alone.
If you don't want to
be back in the village
churning butter with the
other peasant maidens,
you will kindly cease your complaining of
treatment by me and
occupy yourself in some
productive fashion.
Do I make myself clear?
- Yes, Baron.
Quite clear.
(suspenseful music)
- Does anyone know where we are?
We could get lost this way.
- Fear not, Theodore.
We won't get lost.
- I might ask, if we come
upon the great beast,
what is our plan?
- The Nullifier component.
- Yes, Josh Kirby, what is our plan?
- Plan?
I, uh, I don't really have a plan.
(growling)
(roaring)
- Will it charge?
- I'm not sure.
Theodore, do you still have that apple?
Thanks.
(chewing)
All right, all right,
everybody look around.
Fruits, just anything we can find.
All right, go.
(footsteps thumping)
- He's following you, Josh.
- Yeah, must be hungry.
That's a break for us.
- How do we know it
won't eat one of us next?
- Because it only eats
fruits and vegetables.
That's the kind of dinosaur,
er, dragon, this is.
- How do you know so much about
these creatures, Josh Kirby?
- I study them in school.
- Really?
I must hear more about this progressive
land you come from.
- Yeah, sure, anytime,
- You were right.
There was another dragon.
I owe you an apology.
- Nah, skip it.
Now maybe now you'll
consider my other idea.
- That we should launch an assault against
the castle and my brother
with the aid of this creature?
- We could take him, I know we could.
- I'm not so sure.
(chewing)
- Right, Theodore, will
you lend me your saddle?
- You're not gonna saddle this beast?
- Saddle and ride, your highness.
(dramatic music)
(roaring)
- These are for you from
Lord Henry himself, no less.
Ah, well, aren't you a picture?
(chuckles)
Who'd a guessed?
- What am I doing?
This is what I think of
your flowers, Lord Henry.
- The wench has fire in her.
I like it.
- How are the repairs
on the time pod coming?
- Well, overall quite well considering
the primitive time period we're in.
We should be fully operational by tomorrow
morning, I hope.
- Well, I found something
other than a dinosaur.
- What?
- An impression in the
ground that looked exactly
like a Nullifier component.
- But not the Nullifier itself.
Did you see it?
- No.
- Oh, well at least we know
it's around here somewhere.
- Yeah, well I'm really
worried about Azabeth.
- Oh, I share your concern, Joshua.
- Well, now William has another dinosaur.
He's agreed to take a rescue vote at
the council meeting tonight.
- If we could infiltrate the castle.
- We could rescue Azabeth, get Prism back,
and locate the Nullifier
component all at the same time.
- That's my thought exactly.
- Put her there.
- Thank you, Joshua.
- Order, order gentlemen, please.
- I have asked you all
here tonight to determine
what you, my subjects loyal,
would have me do about
the tyranny we have all
been living under this past winter.
- [Woman] Oh, yes.
- We are joined tonight
by the two strangers
in our midst without whom I dare say
we would not be having
this council meeting.
Thanks to Josh Kirby, we
now have a dragon of our own
to defend against the
predations of my brother.
But is to defend all that we wish to do?
- No.
- For some time I have
despaired of doing anything
about the terrible conditions
under which we have
been forced to live,
but now I feel new hope
that we can overcome
adversity and have life
once again as it was before.
And so I ask you, my loyal friends,
are you with me in a
push against the castle
and Henry of Dearborn?
If so, let me hear it from you.
(villagers talking amongst themselves)
- Lord, I'm just a poor blacksmith,
but I say what is life under
the yoke of oppression.
No life at all, if you want
to know the truth of it.
I say we take back what
was yours and ours.
I say we fight!
- Let's show William of
Dearborn how we feel, men.
Who will fight tomorrow?
Call it out.
- I will!
- I will!
- Yeah!
(villagers shouting)
(triumphant instrumental music)
- Ah.
(knocking)
Enter.
- I bring the prisoner, Lord.
- Not the prisoner, dresser.
The Lady Azabeth.
- The Lady Azabeth.
- Thank you, dresser.
You can go now.
I shan't be needing you
anymore this evening.
- [Dresser] Very good.
- The gown suits you, Lady Azabeth.
- Keep your titles, Baron.
My name is Azabeth Siege,
and garments such as this are only meant
for the pleasure of the male.
As yet another form of
his sexual oppression
against the female gender.
- What is this sexual oppression?
I've not heard of it.
- For one so ignorant, you
practice it well enough.
- What?
- Nothing.
May I eat now?
- Of course.
You're hungry.
The bill of fare in my dungeon leaves
much to be desired.
So they tell me.
Try the wine.
From the finest cellar in all the region.
(laughing)
- Your brother's cellar, so they say.
- Do they?
Well, they're wrong.
My wine, my cellar, and now my vinery.
And a Baron, you know, needs its baroness.
- Then it is good you have Lady Jennifer.
- Yes.
Let's be frank with one another, shall we?
I find you very beautiful, Azabeth.
- Thank you for the meal.
Goodnight.
- [Henry] Where do you think you're going?
- Back to my room, I...
Back to the dungeon.
- A distinct possibility,
unless you begin to show some gratitude.
- I already thanked you for the meal.
What more could you possibly want?
- Don't toy with me, wench.
You know what I want.
- Why, Baron, whatever could you mean?
Is that gratitude enough for you?
- Guards!
Guards! Guards!
The courtyard, you idiots.
(dramatic music)
(screaming)
(kick smacking)
(swords clanking)
(screaming)
- Return her to the dungeon.
Wake the royal executioner.
She dies on the chopping block
in the morning.
(metal clanging)
- What's all the commotion?
- Young Josh Kirby has
found another dragon
after all, Father.
Come and see.
- [Blacksmith] Charlie, I like this.
(roaring)
(dramatic music)
- [Narrator] On the next chapter of
Josh Kirby, Time Warrior.
- I bring a message from Azabeth Siege.
- [Josh] Where is she?
- She's being held in
Lord Henry's dungeon.
Henry has ordered her execution at dawn.
- [Henry] Let the execution begin.
- Just tell her we'll be there,
and tell her not to worry.
- Let's not keep the lady waiting, gent.
- Attack!
(screaming)
(swords clanging)
(roaring)
- Josh Kirby.
- Is the baron's alchemist a tall, dark,
brooding man with a little creature
that follows him wherever he goes?
- Yes, the royal alchemist
Zoetrope is such a man.
- [Dr. Zoetrope] The Nullifier
component must be in here.
You're no match for me, Josh Kirby.
Put that weapon down.
- Ah!
- [Irwin 1138] Next stop, 70379 AD.
(screaming)
- Well, what was that thing?
I thought we were still on earth.
- We are still on earth, Josh,
but the earth of the far future.
- [All] Woah!
- Irwin, look!
- Incredible.
The child has a collection
of time-displaced humans.
- He's forcing us to
fight for his amusement.
- En garde!
(swords clanging)
- Come on, you big bully.
Catch me if you can.
- Listen to me, boy.
There are forces at work here
which you cannot understand.
- No, I'll never help you.
- Then you've sealed your
own doom, Josh Kirby.
(electric static)
(train horn blowing)
- In other words, we're up
a creek without a paddle.
(upbeat instrumental music)
(MultiCom Jingle)
(dramatic music)
(pod exploding)
- My name is Josh Kirby.
I was just your average ninth grader.
My biggest problem (chuckles)
was getting good grades,
and my idea of excitement
was racing my bicycle.
(bell ringing)
Yes!
I never thought time
would catch up with me,
but I couldn't have imagined
(train horn blaring)
that hundreds of years from now mankind
would invent the Nullifier,
a device capable of controlling
or destroying the universe.
- - [Irwin 1138] Prepare for the storm.
- [Josh] A scientist
named Irwin 1138 tried to
disassemble and hide the Nullifier,
but even he couldn't stop...
- [Irwin 1138] Dr. Zoetrope.
(lasers blasting)
- [Dr. Zoetrope] Give me the Nullifier.
- [Irwin 1138] You're too late, Zoetrope.
- [Dr. Zoetrope] It's
never too late for me.
- Irwin and Zoetrope have been chasing
each other across the time stream,
trying to be the first to
find the Nullifier's pieces.
This time they're gonna land in 1995.
The place, my front yard.
Now I'm going along for
the ride of all time.
What's going on?
Where are we?
- [Irwin 1138] I hope you
prepared to do battle, young man.
This will be a war through time
and Dr. Zoetrope will take no prisoners.
(pod exploding)
- [Josh] We've got help from a warrior.
- My name is Azabeth Siege.
- Oh, she's amazing.
- [Josh] And a magical
creature called Prism
to show us the way.
Together we're on a quest through time,
visiting different worlds to fight for
the Nullifier's pieces.
- [Dr. Zoetrope] I'm
obviously in the right place
and the right time.
- Because of Zoetrope ever assembles
the Nullifier, he'll conquer time itself.
I've gotta try and save the universe.
(triumphant instrumental music)
I was just a 14-year-old kid
before my adventure began,
but now I'm Josh Kirby, Time Warrior.
(uplifting instrumental music)
(dramatic music)
(electronic beeping)
(humming)
- [Irwin 1138] Prepare for the storm.
(dramatic music)
(electronic beeping)
(dramatic music)
(pulsing throb)
Next.
(electronic beeping)
(pulsing throb)
Next.
(electronic beeping)
(pulsing throb)
Next.
(pulsing throb)
(dramatic music)
(electronic beeping)
(pulsing throb)
We need another 93 seconds.
Seal the door.
(electronic beeping)
(pulsing throb)
Quick, load the final component.
- [Man] Let's go.
(door crackling)
(door banging)
- [Man] He's through!
Back there!
Let's go!
- [Irwin 1138] Dr. Zoetrope.
- [Man] It's him! Run!
(lasers blasting)
- [Man] Get out of there!
- Ah, uh!
- [Man] We can't hold him off!
- [Man] Come on, we gotta get out of here!
This way!
There he is!
- [Dr. Zoetrope] Give me
the Nullifier component.
- [Irwin 1138] You're too late, Zoetrope.
- [Dr. Zoetrope] It's
never too late for me.
(lasers blasting)
- [Irwin 1138] Oh! Ah! Oh!
(electronic beeping)
- In the name of all of creation,
twisted old man, what have you done?
(dramatic music)
(clock buzzing)
- Mmm.
- [Dad] Movin' out, Josh.
Breakfast is almost ready.
(birds chirping)
(soft instrumental music)
- Morning, Dad.
- Morning.
- Morning, Genghis.
Conquered a new kingdom
while I was sleepin'?
- Brain food, son.
Drink up.
- Dad, the calcium in milk's
good for teeth and bones,
not brains.
- [Dad] Eh.
How's the new watch holding up?
- Guess.
- Another one bites the dust, huh?
- Yup.
- What is it with you and watches, Josh?
- I don't know.
The school nurse said I
had some screwy metabolism
or something.
My stopwatch still works, though.
- Talk to that guidance counselor yet?
- Dad, I'm already taking two
advanced placement classes.
My head's gonna explode.
Yeah, I talked to the counselor.
That's what I was studying for last night.
The advanced placement chemistry test.
I'm supposed to take that today.
- Don't just take it, Josh.
- I know, I know, don't just take it.
Ace it.
- Your mother would've been proud of ya.
The two of you would've
gotten along great.
She was one smart lady.
That's where you get your
brains from, you know.
- She was cute, too, right?
- Not just cute.
Beautiful.
- See ya later, Genghis.
(light playful music)
- Josh, be careful.
And ace that test.
- No problemo, Dad.
(light playful music)
Yeah, ha ha!
Rur, rur, yeah.
Yeah!
Woo-hoo!
(upbeat pop music)
Woo! Yeah!
(upbeat pop music)
Woo, woah, sorry.
Woah, oh!
Woah!
(laughing)
(bell ringing)
And woah!
Yes!
Josh Kirby sets a new world record.
Ah!
- Aztecs were the dominant
civilization of Mexico
when Hernando Cortes
invaded that country in 1519
under the auspices of the Spanish Empire.
Yes, Joshua.
- Ms. Mandelbaum, are
we almost to the part
where the Aztec priests
rip out human hearts
with their bare hands and eat 'em?
(kids talking over each other)
- Mr. Kirby, this is a
G-rated history class.
We will not be studying
anything that is not rated G.
- But Mrs. Mandelbaum,
isn't history kind of
made up of all ratings?
From G to PG to PG-13 to even R?
(laughing)
(bell ringing)
(kids conversing in background)
- Yo, Josh man, Kirby man.
That was incredible.
What an amazing concept.
R-rated history.
Imagine ancient Rome babes
dancing around in togas
with grapes, man.
With grapes!
- I think Beth Sullivan thinks I'm weird.
- Josh man, Kirby man,
to all that cutting edge
people here at Green Oaks High,
you're a guy of major import.
But Beth Sullivan, cheerleader,
Miss Teen USA semi-finalist,
and most popular girl in school.
Beth Sullivan definitely
does not know you exist.
- Thanks a lot, Irwin.
- Don't mention it.
I'm always here for ya.
- Hey, Josh.
How's it goin'?
- It would go a lot
better if I could breathe.
- Well, what's the status
of my homework, pal?
- Um.
- You didn't forget about my homework.
Did you, pal?
'Cause my homework is
very, very important to me.
- Well, actually, Duke,
I've been thinking about
your homework a lot lately.
- You hear that?
He's been thinking.
Now that's what I like to hear.
I love this guy.
Mwah.
- And after much thought,
I came to the conclusion
that it's pointless
for me to do your homework,
'cause the whole point
of doing your homework
is so you can learn.
And how can you learn if I'm
doin' all your homework for ya?
- Oh, I'll learn, Kirby.
I'll learn how to kick your butt.
You do my homework.
- Duke, what are you doing?
Why are you picking on this guy?
He's weird.
- Ah, babe.
You got me all wrong.
Ah, my pal Josh and me are
just workin' out some business.
Ain't that right, pal?
Sure, that's right.
Just go along with the guys, honey.
I'll see you in the gym.
The homework, Kirby.
- Don't worry, man.
I got your back.
(bell ringing)
(light playful music)
(dog whining)
- Genghis?
Hey, Genghis.
What's wrong, Genghis?
Huh?
(electric buzzing)
Holy moly!
(zapping)
(electronic beeping)
- X marks the spot.
(footsteps thumping)
(electronic beeping)
(knocking)
- Nobody's home.
(electronic beeping)
(knocking)
All right, all right, I'm coming.
Don't have a fit.
Ah!
Woah, Josh man.
You almost gave me a heart attack.
What the heck are you wearing?
- It's my dad's spare
industrial gear from the plant.
I'm a little worried about contamination.
- From me?
- No.
From this.
- Cool!
I give up.
There's nothing in any of this stuff
that remotely resembles that
crazy thing-a-ma-jig you found.
- You know, it must be pretty cool to have
a dad who's a physicist.
- My dad's a wuss.
But it does come in handy when
it comes to science projects.
Maybe your dog dug it up.
Maybe it's some kind of
bizarre bone that got
buried in China and
some how worked its way
through the earth's core until it wound up
in your backyard.
- Get real.
I told you a million times,
it was crackling like
lightning when I found it.
It must have some hidden
power source inside somewhere.
- [Irwin] Hey, maybe it's
some kind of new battery.
- And maybe it's some new
kind of nuclear warhead.
(phone ringing)
(gasping)
(phone ringing)
- Phone.
Lee residence.
Irwin Esquire speaking.
- [Josh's Dad] Irwin, is Josh over there?
- He's coming down now.
- Who is it?
- [Irwin] Guess.
- Dad?
- Josh, get your but home right now.
- [Josh] But Dad, I found
the most incredible thing
in Genghis Khan's doghouse.
- I've told you a thousand times,
you come straight home from school,
finish your homework,
and then we'll talk
about your social life.
- But Dad.
- 15 minutes or your bike
privileges are history.
- I'm dead.
(footsteps thumping)
(doorbell ringing)
(electronic beeping)
(laughing)
- How long did it take you
jokers to build this thing
down at the plant?
Hey Herb, is that you in there?
(laughing)
Uh, uh, uh, uh.
(dramatic music)
- Nothing.
(dog barking)
- [Josh] I told you a million times,
it was crackling like
lightning when I found it.
It must have some hidden power source
inside somewhere.
- For a 20th century primitive,
you have been most helpful.
(dog barking)
(pulsing lightning)
- Ahh!
Woah!
- [Irwin 1138] The Nullifier
component, young man.
I must have it.
- Pardon me?
- [Irwin 1138] Don't toy with me, boy.
I know it's here in this
time, in this place.
I sent it here.
- [Dr. Zoetrope] Don't
listen to him, Joshua.
This evil genius wants
to destroy the earth.
Turn the Nullifier component over to me
and I'll see that it's
put to its proper use.
- [Irwin 1138] Don't listen to him, boy.
- Wha, what?
How did you know my name?
- Your friend Genghis Khan told me.
- Oh, oh, my dog.
My dog told you my name?
Okay.
Look, I'm sure this is some
kind of dream or hallucination
brought on by too much
dye and too little sleep,
but just in case it's not,
I have got to get home before
my dad gets really PO'd.
Well, it was really
nice meeting you people
from other worlds.
Goodbye.
(lasers blasting)
Hey, take it easy, pal.
- [Irwin 1138] He's
nobody's pal, young man.
(lasers blasting)
- My bike!
(lasers blasting)
(creature jabbering)
Hey, who are you?
(creature jabbering)
Hey!
Holy moly!
- [Irwin 1138] Quick! Prism!
Quick, before he gets away.
- [Josh] Oh no you don't.
- [Irwin 1138] Brace yourself, Prism.
Prepare for the storm.
- [Josh] Oh. Ah!
- Oh, no.
(dog barking)
- Woah! Ah!
- Calm down, young man.
You shouldn't be here.
- Oh, you're telling me.
Well, what's going on?
And where are we?
- Hyper time.
The limbo which flows between every moment
of past, present, and future.
There, we've got him, Prism.
(crashing)
- Who is this guy?
And why are we chasing him?
- That, young man, is the
insane Dr. Zoetrope 366.
And we are not chasing him.
I am chasing him.
- So you better step on it
'cause he's getting away.
(engines rumbling)
- Ah!
- [Josh] Woah!
- All right.
- Come on.
- Thank you, young man.
Dr. Zoetrope must not be allowed to escape
the Nullifier component.
And...
- Nullifier?
What's a Nullifier component?
- The Nullifier was a strange alien device
which washed up in the Milky Way galaxy.
Young Zoetrope was the only man on earth
clever enough to decipher
its true purpose.
To nullify all of existence,
past, present, and future.
- A Nullifier, perfect, transit.
A drainer void.
You mean that thing I found in my backyard
could destroy the world?
- No, not on its own.
But when it's reassembled
together with its five
other component parts.
The authorities confiscated the Nullifier
and ordered it destroyed,
but having this brilliant
discovery taken away from him
drove the already unstable
Dr. Zoetrope over the edge
and deep into the pit of madness.
He was imprisoned for his own good,
and for everyone else's.
- Woah.
- Unfortunately, the Nullifier
proved to be indestructible.
Luckily I had just perfected
a chrono-displacement device
capable of launching inanimate object
into the fourth dimension.
- Wait, you invented a time machine?
- Isn't that just what I said?
- I was able to split
the Nullifier into six
component parts and then
randomly launch each one
into a different time zone.
But that blasted know-it-all
criminal Zoetrope
managed to escape from prison and steal
the coordinates from my computer.
Now that immature madman
means to collect each
of the Nullifier components
from all across time,
rebuild the Nullifier, and
then press the start button,
destroying everything
that has ever existed
or ever will exist.
- But won't that destroy him, too?
- I told you, he's mad.
- But if the Nullifier
has to be reassembled
for it to work, why do
you need all six parts?
Why don't you just grab
one and that would keep
him from putting it back
together, wouldn't it?
(laughing)
- It's too risky.
Zoetrope is so darn smart
he just might reassemble
the Nullifier using only five pieces.
Or four, or three, or two, or--
- Okay, okay, I get the idea.
But how could he do all this?
I thought you invented the time machine?
- Turns out Zoetrope invented
that lousy time armor
of his before I even built my time pod.
He was just so obsessed
with the Nullifier,
he didn't bother to tell anybody.
- Well, you gotta admit,
time armor is cooler than a time pod.
- Do you think I don't know that?
Sure, time armor's cool.
It's not very practical, is it?
You can only get one
person into time armor.
Look how many people you
can get into my time pod.
- Yeah, I guess.
(whooshing)
- Time bomb!
Hit the deck!
(bomb exploding)
(electricity crackling)
Blast.
We've lost him.
Prism, concentrate.
Try and get a fix on
the Nullifier component.
- [Josh] What's he doing?
- Well, Prism is something
you 20th century types
call a bloodhound.
For some reason I have yet to determine,
seems that Prism has a vital link with
the Nullifier component.
Whenever he gets close to a
piece of the alien device,
he begins to glow with colors.
Now...
Without Prism here I'd be totally unable
to pick up Zoetrope's trail.
- All right, come on.
- [Irwin 1138] What are you doing?
- I'm just making sure this isn't a dream.
Look, mister.
I've got to get out of here.
- Young man, I didn't ask you to intrude,
so you better make the best of it.
- I didn't ask you to
bring me along, either.
I demand you take me home.
- Take me home. (laughs)
Such petty concerns.
I've got to catch Zoetrope
before it's too late.
- I don't believe this.
Look, I appreciate the need
to save the world and all,
but I think I'm in a little over my head.
Look, I'm not gonna be any help to you.
I'm only 14.
So just drive me back home
and I'll be out of your hair.
- Will you stop harping?
I can't go anywhere until
I get my time pod fixed.
And we're not going back anywhere.
After Zoetrope's mad hopping
through the time stream,
your era will cease to exist.
- What are you talking about,
my era won't exist anymore?
You're crazy.
- Perhaps you'll believe me if you see it.
- [Josh] What's going on?
This isn't my home.
- [Irwin 1138] I'm afraid
you're wrong, young man.
That is your home.
- No, no, I don't believe you.
- You won't believe anything, will you?
Hmm, read that.
- September 14, 1994.
7:32:59am.
September 14th, 7:32am.
I'm supposed to be getting
up for school right now.
Duke Dunkington's supposed
to beat me up today
when I don't give him his homework.
- I'm sorry to tell you this, young man.
But the chaos caused by
Zoetrope's mad rampage
through the time stream
has altered history
in a somewhat catastrophic manner.
- Green Oaks, my house, my dad.
Oh, Beth Sullivan.
I never got the chance to
show her I wasn't weird.
All right, Josh, come on.
Wake up.
You can do it.
Just, just wake up.
Where's that stupid alarm clock?
- Get ahold of yourself.
Our only chance now is to
track down Zoetrope 366
and put an end to his deadly
romp through the time stream
before he retrieves all
the Nullifier components
and puts an end to the universe.
- How will that help?
My universe is already destroyed.
How are we gonna get my
world back to the way it was?
The way it's supposed to be?
- I don't know.
But I assure you, it's
all very real, Joshua.
That is what Zoetrope called you.
- Yeah.
Yeah, Josh Kirby.
- Look, Joshua.
Let's not get off on the wrong foot.
I am Irwin 1138, one of
the most brilliant men
of the 21st century.
- One of the most.
- Well, second actually.
- Hmm, second.
Who's the first?
- You've already met him.
Ha, I'm afraid I have to admit
that young Zoetrope 366's
brainpower exceeds my own
by 8.6 cerebral grams.
- Ah, just my luck.
I had to hook up with the
second-most brilliant man
of the 21st century.
- No need to get personal, young man.
- I'm sorry.
I guess I was just upset about, you know.
Here, look, maybe if we drag Zoetrope back
the way he came, retracing
steps through time,
everything will go back
the way it was before
he showed up.
- It's impossible.
The time-displacement
postulate clearly states
that temporal events, once altered,
can never be returned
to their original state.
- Well who came up with that?
- [Irwin 1138] Well, I did, of course.
- Have you ever tested that
postulate outside a laboratory?
- Um, it's never been tested at all.
- Well, you've gotta admit,
there's still a chance.
Look, besides, you've gotta
find a way to put things back.
If the late 20th century
is this messed up,
the 25th century must be really screwed.
- Your primitive 20th century reasoning
is inescapable.
Perhaps there is a chance after all.
I hope you're prepared
to do battle, young man.
This will be a war through time,
and Dr. Zoetrope will take no prisoners.
- All right, it's now or never.
Let's go.
(dramatic music)
- 1205 AD.
Prepare for the storm.
(engines rumbling)
(engines blasting)
(upbeat instrumental music)
(doors whirring)
- [Josh] So you're telling
me we're in medieval England?
Yeah, right.
Woah.
- Your sacrifice will not be forgotten,
good friend blacksmith.
Someday when William of
Dearborn can be restored
to his rightful throne,
all this may be over.
(Prism jabbering)
- How do you do that, Prism?
- Oh, it's some kind
of complex transference
of matter particles from
one spacial zone to another.
- So in other words, you have no idea.
- Do you know, when I was your age,
what's that noise?
(whirring)
Ah.
Oh.
- Hey, are you okay?
- [Irwin 1138] Yes, oh.
- On your knees, slaver.
- Slaver?
We're not slavers.
- You spare me your lies, boy.
Send me back to my comrades
at the front immediately.
- Look, I would if I could, but I can't.
- Don't you realize I
could sever your puny head
from your narrow shoulders
in a millisecond?
- Now that wouldn't do
either of us any good
because I'd be dead
and you'd be stuck here
in 1205 AD.
- What year did you say it was?
(Prism jabbering)
Ah!
Slaver beast, get away from me.
- Hold it right there.
Now listen to me.
First of all, you have
no reason to be mad at us
because we didn't bring you here.
Second of all, you're only
a few years older than me,
so don't call me boy.
My name is Josh Kirby.
- And I am Azabeth Siege.
- Take care of my horse.
See that my son Jamie grows up strong.
He likes a wormy apple now and then.
My horse, I mean.
(growling)
(leaves rustling)
- Uh, Irwin?
- Busy, Josh.
- No, Irwin.
- Look, Josh, I...
(screaming)
- [Azabeth] Take your hands
off me, you imbeciles.
- Josh, do you think they mean us harm?
- I'd say that's pretty much
an affirmative, Irwin 1138.
All right, would somebody please tell us
what's going on?
- You have that right.
We were to sacrifice one of our own,
drawn by lot.
A meal to give the baron's hungry dragon.
- Dragon?
Irwin, did he say dragon?
- Don't worry, Josh, Azabeth.
It's all just some kind of primitive myth.
There never were any
such things as dragons.
This must be just some
kind of medieval jest
played on strangers.
(laughing)
(deep rumbling)
- [Man] It's coming!
Let's go!
[Woman] Hurry!
- [Man] This way!
Wait!
(growling)
- Sorry about this lads and lady.
Thanks all the same.
- [Man] Come with me.
Hurry! Quickly!
(roaring)
- No such things as dragons, you said.
Then what's that?
- That's no dragon, Josh.
I can understand how these simple peasants
might think so.
It's, it's a dinosaur.
(roaring)
It must've been accidentally
transported here
in the wake of Dr. Zoetrope's escape
through the time stream.
- You know, I think it thinks we're lunch.
(roaring)
(soft instrumental music)
- Sire, the sacrificial
party has returned,
but the blacksmith has been spared.
Captured strangers are said
to be at this very moment
being sacrificed in his stead.
- Strangers?
What strangers?
(groaning)
- God, this isn't good, Irwin 1138.
- I'm inclined to agree with you, Joshua.
- If only I had my weapons.
(roaring)
- We must rescue them, mustn't we?
(roaring)
- Hey, who are you guys?
- I might ask you the same question.
(roaring)
(chomping)
- Bring me your weapon.
(chomping)
(roaring)
(dramatic music)
- Who are you?
- I'm Jolly Jack.
Who are you?
(chomping)
(roaring)
(groaning)
- Hide them in the blacksmith's hut.
- But Azabeth!
- No, we must run now,
boy, or we are lost, too.
- My stick, thank you.
Keep going!
(roaring)
- Take her.
- [Man] Good morning, Charles.
- [Man] Morning to you.
(laughing)
- Jamie!
Ha, welcome gents.
I'm the blacksmith here in
our little piece of heaven.
And this is my son, Jamie.
Say hello, Jamie.
- Hello.
- Hi, I'm Josh.
And this is Irwin 1138.
- Hello, Jamie.
- I feel terrible about
what almost happened
to you today.
Really I do.
I offer you safe haven in my little shop
and if there's ever
anything I can do for you,
just let me know, all right?
- What's that?
- This?
This is--
- Good sirs, William of Dearborn requests
your presence in his hut.
He begs you come now if you please.
- William, that's the one who rescued us?
- Great.
We've got to organize
another rescue, pronto.
One of our group's been captured by
the evil guy on the dinosaur,
or the ah, the dragon.
- The baron will decide if
there's to be any kind of...
- Rescue?
Out of the question.
- But why?
- You've stumbled into a situation
you know nothing about, boy.
Why don't you both go
back where you came from?
Wherever that is.
- All right, it's true.
We're strangers, but our
friend needs our help.
- We all need help.
Whether we could all find it.
- Hmm.
- You're puzzled, strangers.
- Well, a little clarification
would be welcome, yes.
- I am Theodore and you've
met our friend the blacksmith.
- Mmm, my name is Irwin 1138.
This is Josh Kirby.
- Our leader, William of Dearborn,
was until recent times
the baron of this region.
- And a better lord and
leader no man ever had.
- But William's younger brother,
the evil Lord Henry,
treacherously betrayed him,
took over his lands, and
set himself up as baron.
- And a more miserable jackal
of a man you'll never find.
- Why didn't William fight back?
- He did.
- We all did at first,
but the Lord Henry bought the cruel might
of a mercenary army to protect him.
And then the dragon came.
And to feed its hunger,
the Lord Henry demanded a
sacrifice to the great beast
each new moon.
- Each new moon?
- That's once a month.
- I knew that.
- The dragon was the final straw.
It's terrible presence sapped
William's spirit to fight.
If we don't feed the beast each new moon,
Henry has threatened to let it destroy
the village and devour us all.
William dares not let that happen.
So we do nothing.
Yeah, but you saved us.
William couldn't bear the
thought of responsibility
for your deaths too.
But now he worries that
there will come renewed
reprisals against the village
from he dragon Lord Henry.
(roaring)
(laughing)
- [Woman] You children come back here now.
(children laughing)
- Look at this.
- [Man] Come together.
(people conversing in background)
- [Henry] Damn my brother's eyes,
the gall to interfere with the sacrifice.
The royal dragon has
not been fed in weeks.
His humor is most foul.
- Oh, baron.
Can thou tellest me
what is black and white,
is black and white, is black and white,
and black and white?
- A similarly garbed clergyman
rolling down the hill.
- Oh, jester.
- [Jester] Sire.
- Have you eaten yet?
- [Jester] Yes.
Thank you, sire.
(fingers snapping)
- [Henry] Good.
Then prepare to be eaten.
Feed him to my dragon.
- Wait, wait.
Wouldst thou like to hear a dirty jest?
- You will pay for taking me prisoner,
you mongrel dog.
(grunting)
- Will I?
(grunting)
(dramatic music)
- Unusual jewelry.
What if I take it?
- Then you would be a thief
as well as a coward.
(laughing)
- Have her bathed and scented.
Dressed in finery from
Lady Jennifer's wardrobe
and brought to my chambers
for supper this evening.
- Yes, Baron.
- Welcome back, my Lord.
- Ah, the lady of the house.
- Well, I hope that is
what I am to you, my Lord.
- Yes, yes, I plucked you from the muck
of the village to be my consort.
When was it, Lady?
- 'Twas a year ago, my Lord.
Surely you haven't forgotten.
- A year, you say?
I swear it feels like 10.
- Will you take supper tonight, my Lord?
- I dine alone tonight, Lady.
Eat with your maids if
you must have company.
Send for the grand wizard.
(people talking in background)
- Announcing the grand wizard.
(dramatic music)
- Greetings, royal alchemist.
(dramatic music)
- Greetings, sire.
For your collection.
- Splendid.
What else have you been up to this day?
- Still endeavoring to change
lead into gold for you, sir,
though it may take awhile.
- Succeed and you shall
see how truly grateful
I can be, grand wizard.
But I did not send for
you to speak of this,
but of another matter.
A matter of some newcomers.
- Newcomers, Lord?
- Yes, three of them.
I have one imprisoned in
the dungeon right now.
A girl.
Most beautiful.
Almost unearthly.
The other two, a boy and an old man,
with my dear brother
William down in the village.
They remind me of you somehow, wizard.
- Me, Lord?
- Yes.
Perhaps they are kinsman of yours?
- No, Lord.
I told you I was born right here.
- Yes, so you said when
first you came to us
to help us tame the
dragon with your device.
- I hope that I can
continue to be of service
to you, Lord Henry.
- So do I, grand wizard.
So do I.
- Well, well, well.
Azabeth Siege, all chained
up and no place to go.
- Zoetrope, you vile serpent.
- Tell me, when did you
arrive in this time?
- I'll tell you nothing.
(laughing)
- Have Irwin 1138 and Josh Kirby been able
to locate the Nullifier component?
Answer me.
- Come a little closer
and you'll feel my answer.
- Ah, ah.
Foolish, foolish girl.
- How did you turn Prism against us?
(laughing)
- That was a simple matter of a mind plug.
I could implant one in you.
But I think I'll wait.
- We both know if you have Prism,
you have a foolproof way to
locate the Nullifier component.
So why ask me?
- Well, unfortunately
one of the side effects
of the mind plug is little
Prism's mane of many colors
no longer functions.
But I will find the Nullifier
component, fear not.
Enjoy your stay in the
dungeon, Azabeth Siege.
I have a feeling it's going
to be a very long one.
(Prism jabbering)
- You little devil.
(glass breaking)
Stop that!
(Prism jabbering)
I know with the mind plug in you,
you can't remember your
friends, little one.
But they are here now and I must find
the Nullifier before they do.
The locator in my helmet was damaged
in the ride into this time.
Too bad.
I wonder.
It was putting the mind plug in that took
away your mane of many colors.
Perhaps if I take the mind plug out
it will bring it back.
(Prism jabbering)
Ha.
- [Prism] Ah.
Ow! Ah!
(Prism jabbering)
- Ah, wonderful.
You have given me an idea.
- Come on then.
Come on, boy.
Come on.
Get it.
(horse neighing)
- What's that, then?
- Uh, well that, that there is a,
that's a food storage
compartment is what that is.
Yeah, you put your food in there,
and then it doesn't get
spoiled or anything.
- You're an inventor?
- Yes.
Oh, yeah.
You could say that, yes.
- I'm an inventor, too.
(spitting)
See that pale with the
holes punched in it?
Gives Beatrice a nice cool
shower in the heat of the day.
I invented that.
Keeps food from spoiling.
Why don't you just eat
the food before it spoils?
How does it work?
- Well, right now it doesn't.
And we would like your help
to mend it, master blacksmith.
- Oh, it's the least I can do.
Bring it here, gents.
- Right, I'll untie it.
You bring it here.
(dramatic music)
(roaring)
(Prism jabbering)
- We will find the Nullifier if we have to
walk the entire baroning,
my little friend.
(Prism jabbering)
- Wizards.
- [Irwin 1138] Try the left.
(pod creaking)
Darn it.
Oh.
No good.
I'll have to disassemble
the coaxial interocator.
- You know, I think the
blacksmith's starting
to wonder about us.
- As long as he doesn't
start tinkering around
on his own.
- Well, he's keeping pretty
busy with that slingshot.
- Mmm.
- It's a birthday surprise for Jamie,
so don't tell him.
I only wonder if we should tell.
- What? The truth?
Not unless he asks us.
Look, he's our friend and he trusts us.
That's enough for now.
(grunting)
- In you go, girly.
Get in the little bath, top neither.
- Why have you brought me here?
- The baron wants you bathed and dressed
to supper with him tonight, that's why.
Though for the life of me,
I can't see what you've got to offer
that the Lady Jennifer ain't.
- Who is this Lady Jennifer?
- The baron's lady, that's who.
Well, she's gonna like you being here,
I can tell you that.
Still, ours is not to reason why.
Now, off with your knickers.
- My what?
- Your knickers, your
tops and bottoms, love.
- I will not be stripped of my uniform.
- Oh, yes, you will, me fine girl.
You'll either do it yourself
or I'll do it for ya.
- All right, I shall undress myself,
you slime serpent from the
poison rivers of Amdor.
- Oh, no use insulting me, deary.
Just rolls off me like water
off a duck's ass, it does.
Now you get them queer-lookin' things off
and I'll be back with somethin' pretty
for you to put on later.
- What's wrong, Josh?
- Our friend Azabeth was captured by your
dragon Lord Henry.
We've gotta find a way to rescue her.
But William and everyone
else say it's impossible.
That there's no defense
against Henry's T-Rex,
or dragon, that is.
- I know where there's another dragon.
- Azabeth doesn't know,
but I care a lot about her.
We can't just do nothing.
What did you just say?
- I know where there's another dragon.
Suppose to be, anyway.
- Another dragon?
Are you serious?
Oh, oh, I've gotta find William.
(suspenseful music)
- How's the water, little lady?
Fine, I hope.
All right then, put these on when you're
through with your bath.
- Then what?
- Then you sit here and
wait until the baron
calls for ya, that's what.
(suspenseful music)
- Put that down.
- [Azabeth] Who are you?
- Never mind who I am.
That is my dress and I said put it down.
- [Azabeth] You're the
Lady Jennifer, aren't you?
- How dare you even speak my name,
you common trash.
(grunting)
Get off me!
Get off me this instant!
- Stop!
Stop or I will have to apply a sleep lock
and I warn you,
waking from a sleep lock is not pleasant.
- The baron is mine.
He is mine.
Do you understand?
- You think I wish to
take the baron for myself?
- Ah, don't try to deny it.
I know you do.
- [Azabeth] But I swear I do not.
- Ha, liar.
- Even if I wanted to,
the codes of Kang are
quite specific about the danger,
the 17th in particular.
Whosoever takes another woman's man
does keep close watch on her own.
- Codes, Kang, I know nothing of these.
You're just trying to confuse me.
- If I let you up, will you quit?
- Yes.
- Jennifer, listen to me.
- Lady Jennifer.
- Lady Jennifer, all I want,
all I want is to escape this castle
and return to my friends.
- Well, I can tell you that's
not all the baron wants.
- I care not what that man wants.
- Ah, you say that now, but wait.
He fancies you.
Yes, he will try to woo you.
And he can be quite persuasive.
- What is this wooing?
- What is to woo?
To win thy desired one's heart.
To make the tender advance.
- I am my own woman and I cannot be wooed
as you say unless I wish to be,
and I do not wish to be.
- Ah, yes.
I was much as you in the beginning.
But Henry is, he's quite forceful.
And I saw quickly it was better
to give in than to fight.
- It's a shame you've
had to give into any man.
- Oh.
- Jennifer, wait.
(door closing)
(sighing)
- Don't you see?
It's a chance, at least.
I mean, if another dragon does exist,
it might be possible to use it to win back
your crown and rescue my friend.
- I, too, have heard reports
of this other dragon,
Josh Kirby, but no one has yet seen it.
I repeat, no one.
- So what?
I mean, maybe it's shy or something.
But if it does exist,
wouldn't you want to know about it?
All right, do you want your
castle and stuff back or not?
- Take care, boy.
You tread heavily.
- Hey, whatever it takes.
Our friend is in trouble,
and if you won't go, I'll go myself.
- All right.
Theodore, organize a search
party with Jolly Jack.
A hunting we will go,
it seems, for a dragon.
- All right, excellent.
- Which shall it be, dresser?
The black or the red?
- Black.
Black does suit you, Baron.
- It is true.
Black is my color.
Yet I feel the red will
make a certain emotion
of mine clear to the maid
we captured this morning.
- Yes, I see your point.
The red then, and good luck, sire.
- I don't need luck, dolt.
I have charm, looks,
money, land, a castle,
and a dragon.
- Yes, sire.
- Good day, your ladyship.
- Who says it is?
(knocking)
- Come.
- It is only me, my Lord.
- Oh, rapture.
Leave us.
What can I do for you now, madam.
- Oh, and why do you speak
to me so formal, my Lord.
- Formally, Lady.
- I beg pardon?
- Formally.
When will you learn to
speak the king's English?
- I've taken lessons as you wish, my Lord.
- I should think that
tutors would have greater
success with my dragon.
- When will this cease?
- When will what cease?
- These, these insults.
These barbs.
They cut so deeply.
These cruelty marks that I have not earned
and do not deserve.
- 'Tis the way I always
speak to you, Lady.
I know not what you mean.
- 'Tis that barbarian wench, isn't it?
- Which barbarian wench?
- Don't play innocent with
me, Henry of Dearborn.
You're having her dressed right now
and in my own gown, no less.
Oh, Henry.
Aren't I good enough for you?
I once was, you know.
- Don't press me on that point, Lady.
You may get an answer
you don't wish to hear.
- I will not tolerate this.
I will not.
- No?
I think you will.
I remind you, Lady Jennifer,
that you are here by my good graces
and my good graces alone.
If you don't want to
be back in the village
churning butter with the
other peasant maidens,
you will kindly cease your complaining of
treatment by me and
occupy yourself in some
productive fashion.
Do I make myself clear?
- Yes, Baron.
Quite clear.
(suspenseful music)
- Does anyone know where we are?
We could get lost this way.
- Fear not, Theodore.
We won't get lost.
- I might ask, if we come
upon the great beast,
what is our plan?
- The Nullifier component.
- Yes, Josh Kirby, what is our plan?
- Plan?
I, uh, I don't really have a plan.
(growling)
(roaring)
- Will it charge?
- I'm not sure.
Theodore, do you still have that apple?
Thanks.
(chewing)
All right, all right,
everybody look around.
Fruits, just anything we can find.
All right, go.
(footsteps thumping)
- He's following you, Josh.
- Yeah, must be hungry.
That's a break for us.
- How do we know it
won't eat one of us next?
- Because it only eats
fruits and vegetables.
That's the kind of dinosaur,
er, dragon, this is.
- How do you know so much about
these creatures, Josh Kirby?
- I study them in school.
- Really?
I must hear more about this progressive
land you come from.
- Yeah, sure, anytime,
- You were right.
There was another dragon.
I owe you an apology.
- Nah, skip it.
Now maybe now you'll
consider my other idea.
- That we should launch an assault against
the castle and my brother
with the aid of this creature?
- We could take him, I know we could.
- I'm not so sure.
(chewing)
- Right, Theodore, will
you lend me your saddle?
- You're not gonna saddle this beast?
- Saddle and ride, your highness.
(dramatic music)
(roaring)
- These are for you from
Lord Henry himself, no less.
Ah, well, aren't you a picture?
(chuckles)
Who'd a guessed?
- What am I doing?
This is what I think of
your flowers, Lord Henry.
- The wench has fire in her.
I like it.
- How are the repairs
on the time pod coming?
- Well, overall quite well considering
the primitive time period we're in.
We should be fully operational by tomorrow
morning, I hope.
- Well, I found something
other than a dinosaur.
- What?
- An impression in the
ground that looked exactly
like a Nullifier component.
- But not the Nullifier itself.
Did you see it?
- No.
- Oh, well at least we know
it's around here somewhere.
- Yeah, well I'm really
worried about Azabeth.
- Oh, I share your concern, Joshua.
- Well, now William has another dinosaur.
He's agreed to take a rescue vote at
the council meeting tonight.
- If we could infiltrate the castle.
- We could rescue Azabeth, get Prism back,
and locate the Nullifier
component all at the same time.
- That's my thought exactly.
- Put her there.
- Thank you, Joshua.
- Order, order gentlemen, please.
- I have asked you all
here tonight to determine
what you, my subjects loyal,
would have me do about
the tyranny we have all
been living under this past winter.
- [Woman] Oh, yes.
- We are joined tonight
by the two strangers
in our midst without whom I dare say
we would not be having
this council meeting.
Thanks to Josh Kirby, we
now have a dragon of our own
to defend against the
predations of my brother.
But is to defend all that we wish to do?
- No.
- For some time I have
despaired of doing anything
about the terrible conditions
under which we have
been forced to live,
but now I feel new hope
that we can overcome
adversity and have life
once again as it was before.
And so I ask you, my loyal friends,
are you with me in a
push against the castle
and Henry of Dearborn?
If so, let me hear it from you.
(villagers talking amongst themselves)
- Lord, I'm just a poor blacksmith,
but I say what is life under
the yoke of oppression.
No life at all, if you want
to know the truth of it.
I say we take back what
was yours and ours.
I say we fight!
- Let's show William of
Dearborn how we feel, men.
Who will fight tomorrow?
Call it out.
- I will!
- I will!
- Yeah!
(villagers shouting)
(triumphant instrumental music)
- Ah.
(knocking)
Enter.
- I bring the prisoner, Lord.
- Not the prisoner, dresser.
The Lady Azabeth.
- The Lady Azabeth.
- Thank you, dresser.
You can go now.
I shan't be needing you
anymore this evening.
- [Dresser] Very good.
- The gown suits you, Lady Azabeth.
- Keep your titles, Baron.
My name is Azabeth Siege,
and garments such as this are only meant
for the pleasure of the male.
As yet another form of
his sexual oppression
against the female gender.
- What is this sexual oppression?
I've not heard of it.
- For one so ignorant, you
practice it well enough.
- What?
- Nothing.
May I eat now?
- Of course.
You're hungry.
The bill of fare in my dungeon leaves
much to be desired.
So they tell me.
Try the wine.
From the finest cellar in all the region.
(laughing)
- Your brother's cellar, so they say.
- Do they?
Well, they're wrong.
My wine, my cellar, and now my vinery.
And a Baron, you know, needs its baroness.
- Then it is good you have Lady Jennifer.
- Yes.
Let's be frank with one another, shall we?
I find you very beautiful, Azabeth.
- Thank you for the meal.
Goodnight.
- [Henry] Where do you think you're going?
- Back to my room, I...
Back to the dungeon.
- A distinct possibility,
unless you begin to show some gratitude.
- I already thanked you for the meal.
What more could you possibly want?
- Don't toy with me, wench.
You know what I want.
- Why, Baron, whatever could you mean?
Is that gratitude enough for you?
- Guards!
Guards! Guards!
The courtyard, you idiots.
(dramatic music)
(screaming)
(kick smacking)
(swords clanking)
(screaming)
- Return her to the dungeon.
Wake the royal executioner.
She dies on the chopping block
in the morning.
(metal clanging)
- What's all the commotion?
- Young Josh Kirby has
found another dragon
after all, Father.
Come and see.
- [Blacksmith] Charlie, I like this.
(roaring)
(dramatic music)
- [Narrator] On the next chapter of
Josh Kirby, Time Warrior.
- I bring a message from Azabeth Siege.
- [Josh] Where is she?
- She's being held in
Lord Henry's dungeon.
Henry has ordered her execution at dawn.
- [Henry] Let the execution begin.
- Just tell her we'll be there,
and tell her not to worry.
- Let's not keep the lady waiting, gent.
- Attack!
(screaming)
(swords clanging)
(roaring)
- Josh Kirby.
- Is the baron's alchemist a tall, dark,
brooding man with a little creature
that follows him wherever he goes?
- Yes, the royal alchemist
Zoetrope is such a man.
- [Dr. Zoetrope] The Nullifier
component must be in here.
You're no match for me, Josh Kirby.
Put that weapon down.
- Ah!
- [Irwin 1138] Next stop, 70379 AD.
(screaming)
- Well, what was that thing?
I thought we were still on earth.
- We are still on earth, Josh,
but the earth of the far future.
- [All] Woah!
- Irwin, look!
- Incredible.
The child has a collection
of time-displaced humans.
- He's forcing us to
fight for his amusement.
- En garde!
(swords clanging)
- Come on, you big bully.
Catch me if you can.
- Listen to me, boy.
There are forces at work here
which you cannot understand.
- No, I'll never help you.
- Then you've sealed your
own doom, Josh Kirby.
(electric static)
(train horn blowing)
- In other words, we're up
a creek without a paddle.
(upbeat instrumental music)
(MultiCom Jingle)