It's Not Me, I Swear! (2008) - full transcript

IT'S NOT ME, I SWEAR!

The Bible says:
"In the beginning was the Word."

I dunno, but for me,
in the beginning there was nothing.

I was sleeping
20,000 leagues under the sea.

That was before the Word.

One day, God ruined everything.

The seawater drained out,

and life appeared
at the end of the tunnel.

The doctor said everything's fine,
that I was a normal boy.

Me, Leon Dore,

a normal boy?



Some doctors should be suicided
by a firing squad.

Leon!

Leon, hold on!

Mom!

Leon hanged himself!

Breathe!

Breathe!

Jerome, hurry!

Stay with me, baby!

Undo the rope!

Jerome!

Leon!

It's forbidden to hang yourself.
It's forbidden.

Don't move, my puppy.



Stay right here.

Just sit still.

Mom will come right back.

Jerome hates my deadly accidents,

because afterwards
Mom won't let us hide in the freezer

or play Lego
in the middle of the street.

Jerome just wants a normal brother
in a normal family.

He never questions anything.

I don't know how he does it.
Nothing seems normal to me.

The Mariniers will laugh
at us again.

Anyway, I don't want to play
in the tree.

To hang yourself, you mean.

I'm used to dying from time to time.

Like that time I slept in the pool.

Under the water, it's quiet,
like before I was born.

Mom disagreed.

She saved me,
then killed the pool with a knife.

I think if I'd died that day,
maybe Jerome would be happy.

And Mom and Dad
wouldn't have separated.

Show Dad your neck.

Keep your scarf on.

This isn't the Boy Scouts.

Eat your tomato soup, Leon.

Right, hide your scar
so your mom doesn't feel guilty.

I was baking.
I can't be everywhere.

Watching your cakes or your kids,
tough choice!

The cakes are
for your government pals.

Your goddamn contacts!

Politicians visit us a lot.

Dad's what they call a celebrity,
a national hero.

A human rights activist.

He never lies. He's perfect.

He's a lawyer.

When Dad gets angry,
he seems almost normal.

Dad, stop!

Our family looks crazy.

Our family is crazy, Jerome.

Go to bed.

You guys going camping, Leon?

Camping's dumb, Mr. Marinier.

Think so?

You fight in the car.
It takes hours.

It always rains.
It's windy, you freeze.

Mom wants to go to a motel.
Everyone catches a cold.

Gosh, that's true!

Last year it wasn't windy.

No, but the tent leaked.

Told you!

Like to come with us?

Our family doesn't fight all the time.

Don't want to leave your mom?

You know, Leon, at your age...

Great scarf.

Keep an eye on the house
while we're at the ocean, OK?

We'll see dolphins!
Want some shells?

My mom says divorce is a sin.

We're camping for three weeks!

Francois!

Hi, Leon.

What are you up to?

You threw those eggs at my garage!

Don't lie, I saw you.

This winter, in early February?

- You know when.
- Impossible.

I had the Hong Kong flu.

Throwing eggs is bad,
but lying is worse!

Want to discuss it with my mom?

You could have tea together.

Throwing an egg
is like breaking a leg.

Is anything wrong?

Someone broke her leg,
but it wasn't me.

- Not a leg, an egg.
- Not the eggs again?

Leon had scarlet fever.

He said the Hong Kong flu.

He's not the only boy around here.
Come, Leon.

Goodbye, Mrs. Brisebois.

Sure.

Sweetie, I told you.

If you lie,
keep your story straight.

I forget which disease.

Now she knows you're lying.

Is that bad?

It's better not to lie,
but it's worse to lie badly.

Leave me alone!

The town has rejected metal bins
for our clothing drive.

There's never been a child
asphyxiated in one.

You don't know Leon.

People can drop
their clothes off here.

Madeleine will deliver them.

In your car?

I'll deliver them.

I had an accident in the last car.

But at least I'm alive.

Tell him about the light.

The light!
And the tunnel too, no doubt.

When I crashed
I saw a blinding white light.

I saw my life flashing by,

like in a movie.

Simple things that I'd forgotten.

Beautiful things.

They made me realize
how my life had changed.

Jerome's going to Vancouver.

For an English program.

I saw a white light too
when I suicided by accident.

Leon hanged himself...
accidentally.

Go on, Leon.

A light like a train
at the end of a sewer pipe.

The Lord touched my forehead
with his finger.

Then I heard music.

- What kind of music?
- Banjo.

I see.

Was God telling me to be good?

What do you think?

It was a telegram saying
Choose good or evil.

But you're the expert.

Telegrams aren't really God's thing.

I've never got one.

You do good deeds, Leon.

He visits the old people's home
on Sundays, right?

Sundays we used to picnic.

He'd read, I'd paint.

Did you paint that?

Of course not, that's a Fortin!

Mom painted that on a picnic.

That's me reading Ginsberg.

It was just before Jerome was born.

I wanted Father Charlebois to touch
my forehead to illuminate me.

I wanted a servant of God
as a friend.

Useful in case of miracles.

Or to purge my thoughts
of atomic destruction.

Run!

Your threats don't scare me anymore!

Madeleine, not the bust!

Mom threw the Beethoven!
Dad blocked it with the table!

Not the Fortin!

- You're dangerous.
- Hypocrite!

Stop it!

Happy now?

Feel better about being
a failed painter?

Why are you two so unnormal?

- Unnormal!
- The word is abnormal, Jerome!

Abnormal! Go to bed!

What now?

''Keep an eye on the house
while we're gone,

OK, Leon?''

Fudge, Dad'll kill me.

I saw you, Leon.

What are you doing?

I saw a fox.

What do you have there?

A screwdriver.
My bike chain's broken.

Nothing else?
You don't have any eggs?

If I did, they'd be broken.
They're fragile.

Not like a leg.

Bye, Mrs. Brisebois.

I won't go to court.
The judges are your pals.

I'm not a glorified waitress.

Who's on the phone?

I know, you've been warning me
for a year.

I'll start a new life.

Where were you?

At the old folks' home.

All morning?

I played in the field too.

You have a migraine?

Going to take a nap?

What's going on?

My puppies,
Mom's suffocating.

She's not well.

You want to start a new life?

I'm leaving for Greece tomorrow.

Where's Greece?

For how long?

I knew it!

All the neighbours say
you're not normal.

Fine, leave.
And don't come back!

What's in Greece, Mom?

Why Greece?

Answer me!

Play with your brother.

I told you, don't stand there.
The players can't see us.

Mr. Pouchonnaud,
you're from far away, right?

Argenton-sur-Creuse.

- That's not in Canada?
- No, France.

Is it near Greece?

A bit nearer than here.

Where is Greece exactly?

Southeast Europe, exactly.

Is that far?

Across the Atlantic.

If you walked on water,
it'd take seven months!

Seven months?
Are you crazy?

No way I'd walk.

Flying's easier.

You're going to Greece?

Yes.

I know where it is.
You have to fly across the ocean.

It's where Ulysses was born.

But you weren't born there.

That's true.

Why do you want to go?

It's beautiful.

The sky's always blue,

with a sort of
thin bride's veil over it.

I don't understand.

There's dust in the air.
It makes the light glow.

You're leaving us for dust?

I'm going to work.

When you lie,
keep your story straight.

Let go!

Go see your dad.

This place is a pigsty!

He never lies.

But we can't go on picnics
every day!

You'll come back,
but the door will be locked!

With no contacts or skills...

Or a drunk to preach at me!

Without your children!

You had one chance
and you got drunk!

- What chance?
- To save your family.

I'm not abandoning my kids.

As a mother, you set a precedent.

People will talk about this
in 40 years

in the best homes in Montreal!

Screw your pals at the Beaver Club!

I'd rather be crazy
than be like you!

You're an awful wife,
and a worse woman!

I want to live,
not rot away in the suburbs.

Go lie in the sand
with those Greek colonels!

What crap is that?

Fire!

What is it now?

I'm not finished with you!

Fire!

Get out!

Sometimes I start a fire
in a strategic spot.

An old Indian trick
for ending fights.

I'd never tried
a polyester bedspread.

Dad, Mom and Jerome
all put it out together.

They looked almost like
a normal family.

I pretended to be scared,
but I knew my plan was working.

Tomorrow we'd hold a family council,
like at the UN.

Mom'd keep looking after me
and nothing would change.

Stop it.

Leon, stop it!

Stop it!

Get a hold of yourself.

Stop it.

Nice kite.

- Did Jerome make it?
- Stop looking at my kite!

Beat it!
Go play Barbie!

That's for babies.

Go see your mom!

She's working.

Go see your dad!

I mean, your uncle!

He's drunk.

If you want to stay,
gimme your undies.

If you want your undies,
find a four-leaf clover.

Where you going?

It's that weird girl's fault.

You always break everything.

You're in love with Lea.

Don't worry, I won't tell anyone.

You're lucky.

I never tell anyone anything.

Make me a kite shaped like a fox.

No such thing.

I'm sure there is.

- Where's Lea's dad?
- I dunno.

Maybe he got divorced.

You don't say divorced.
It's a bad word.

Like vagina.
You don't say those words!

I never say vagina.

When can we call Mom?

Phones in Greece are archaic.

What's her number?

Your mom decided
to live under a dictatorship.

So?

The Greeks invented democracy,
but men there aren't free.

What about the women?

Don't get smart with me.

Your naive act won't work.

What are you doing here, Lea?
This is my hideout.

I saw you outside the Mariniers'.

Me?

What would I do there?

- You loomed up.
- I what?

Suddenly appeared.
My brother taught me that.

He should teach you not to be nosy.

Take it easy, my god!

I have a secret hideout too.

I don't believe you.
Where?

That's where crazies hide out.

If you say so.

Lea, I've had enough of you.

I've got other stuff to do.

Like what?

Like buy a ticket to Greece.

How?

Breaking the Mariniers' piggy bank?

Lea, you're such a pain.

Is that where your mom went?
To Greece?

And your dad?

Where's he?

Away on business.

For two years?

My brother's a travel agent.

I can help you find the money.

I know where to find money.

There's a safe at the Mariniers'.

That's it, go camping!

I'll keep an eye on your safe.

Money, jewels, pools, rules,
and I go to Greece.

I'm going mad.

What have I done?

Who left the lights on?

I don't have the second key.

- How can you have just one?
- Just give me the...

Mom, come see the kitchen!

- My harpsichord!
My god!

Mom, come see!

Stay calm, everybody.
And stop shouting!

Holy Christ!

My train set, shit!

Whoever did it was sick.
Who hates us that much?

Professionals.

Professionals who play Lego?

My fur coats!

How'd they come in?

My locomotive!

My mink coat! Thank god!

Nothing's gone?

It stinks of pee.

Everybody upstairs.

Come on, kids.

Fifi, go pee!

C'mon, Fifi!

What now?
Do we unpack the car?

Forget the phone.

You can call your four sisters
tomorrow.

We have to clean the whole house.

I want the Lego gone tomorrow
or I'll throw'em out.

Our insurance is useless,
nothing's stolen.

And the mess?
And my harpsichord?

Clean the place up and we'll see.

- My harpsichord's an antique!
- I know!

I'll read the policy tomorrow.

It's me, Lea!

Over here!

They're looking for you in the woods.

The cops came.

Your dad called my mom.

I said you were looking for my cat.

What time is it?

It's 1 a.m.

What's wrong, Leon?

Get me a knife, OK?

What for?

The sharpest you can find.

- What are you going to do?
- Nothing.

Go home. Thanks.

If you say so.

You are sick, Leon Dore!

This way Dad won't kill me.

Jesus Mary Joseph!

Leave Jesus out of it!

I don't know how to say this...

But that's it.

Now go home.

They sometimes play
in the cornfield out back...

or go bowling next door
at Mr Pouchonnaud's.

But he always comes home for supper.
I don't understand.

You see, since his mom left,

I've been working at home.

If I have to leave,

I make something for them to eat,

or they have supper with Mrs. Samson.

Do you know what time it is?

What happened?

- He's bleeding.
- I fell from a tree.

A maple.

A red maple.
In the woods behind the Clements'.

I'd climbed it to look for Lea's cat.

I slipped,
and when I hit the ground,

I fainted into a coma.

We'll go to the hospital.

A very clean cut for a branch.

After you fell,
you were in a coma until 1 a.m.?

I couldn't find my way home.

I was seeing blurry.

That's serious!

No, it's not.
It was blurry before I fell.

For how long?

Two years and three months.

Two years?

Mom wanted to take me
to the optometrist.

She never told me.

That's why at school

I can't read sentences
on the board like,

"Lea has a tutu."

That explains your terrible marks.

L...

W...

T...

R...

That's all I can see.

E, C, B

D, L, N

P, T, E, R

C, L, N, B, P...

Sorry!

It's nice, huh?

It's adjustable.

You can raise the seat.

As you grow, the bike grows too.

Ecological.
Remember that word!

- Where are you going?
- To break my fib bone.

Don't be jealous.

And the word is fibia!

Want to try it?

More to the right!

To the right of the line!

That's it, go work.

Go save the country!

Hi.

OK, that's it!

I need to do something exciting.

Like what?

Aren't you bored
waiting for your mom?

I'm not waiting for her.

Aren't you going to Greece?

I don't have her phone number.

Forget the phone.
What you need is a plan.

I have a plan.

You have a plan?

It's dangerous.

Desperate times, desperate measures.

Desperate times, desperate measures.

Did you make that yourself?

I know,
it's not very good.

Lea, it's amazing!

I don't know how to say it,

but it's...

What?

Well, for a girl you're...

Tell me!

Better than a tractor.

What exactly does that mean?

Are you teasing me?
If you don't like my map...

It's the greatest pirate map
I ever saw.

It's a psychological way
of saying...

Spit it out, Leon!

That I love you.

And...

Well, that's it.

I love myself too.

Stop interrupting and listen.

We need money.
The Moreaus are gone on vacation.

He's an accountant, he's loaded.

How'll we get in?

You're the expert, I trust you.

We take Moreau's money
and go to the travel agency.

My brother's in on it.

We meet at the old folks' home.
That's our alibi.

What's that red house?

Nothing, it's just decoration.
Forget it.

This is the river where...

At St Charles?

It's too far.

Not if we take
the Portage Street ferry.

Are you crazy? Portage Street?

Weirdos live there!

And the ferryman's a cyclops.

Are you scared?

But he's a cyclops.

You pee in your pants, you sissy!

Do you still need
your mommy with you?

My uncle hits me too.

Your slap is just a gust of wind.

I'm sorry.
It happened by itself.

You don't always
have to act like an adult.

What's an alibi?

Proof we're somewhere we're not.

I'm a specialist in alibis.

Tomorrow we're going to sing
at the old folks' home.

Starting Monday
you'll eat lunch at Mrs. Samson's.

Would you prefer Mrs. Brisebois?
She makes good omelettes.

- The Mariniers were broken up.
- You mean broken in.

Francois told me they found
the thief's left footprint.

- A one-legged thief?
- A small foot.

A handicapped dwarf.

These came.

Did she give her phone number?

No, nor her address.

Good!

Your turn to wash up.

''Dear Leon,
the light here is magical.

''Beautiful, like in a dream.

"Sometimes I sit by the sea
and wait for Ulysses' ship."

What did she say in yours?

Lies.

Like your glasses.

Can I see it?

She's been gone 26 days.

You won't have room.
She's never coming back.

Come on, the house is right there!

What are you doing?

Hands off!

It's adjusted for patio doors.

Sorry!

It looks like a compass.

It's way more complicated.

The glass is 1 1/2''.

So the pressure has to be cubed.

What's wrong?

Must be laminated
polysodium bicarbonate.

You're crazy!

Often happens with polysodium.

Cut the crap!

JESUIT RELATIONS

I found some money!

Lea, where are you?

What are you doing?

It's no time to play Barbie.

I don't know how to play Barbie.

That's OK, neither do I.

- Come on.
- Don't touch me!

Stop it. OK!

That's not how you play.

Lea, say something.

What other games do you play?

Lots of stuff.

What?

Kites.

You see, we're not normal kids.

Thank god!

We have to get out of here.

Stop!

We're not alone.

Did you hear?

Probably a squirrel.

I want to go.

If we run, he'll attack us.

I'm scared.

Me too.

But we can't show it.

Get off.

Are you crazy?

Sit down and play tic-tac-toe.

C'mon, play!

18 to 2 for me.

You suck at tic-tac-toe.

It's true, I suck at tic-tac-toe,

but I saved your life.

Love gives you courage.

On Portage Street I was scared.

But I showed Lea that,
together, anything was possible.

I'd fight the cyclops

and cross all the rivers
in the world.

We'd fulfil our mission
and buy a ticket for Greece.

Without the help of adults

or the help of Jesus.

I'll just check the map, OK?

Where are you going?

Can I please see my dad?

Mom, there's somebody here!

I want to see my dad.
Jacques Veilleux.

You're his daughter?

I want to see him.

He moved away.

I don't believe you.

It's true.
You have to go home.

Where is he?
Let me see him!

Lea, we should go.

I want to see my dad.
He lives here, I know it!

Not since last summer.
Your dad left.

It's not true!

I'm alone with my boy.

I don't know where he is.

- Tell me!
- I can't help you, dear.

It's not true.

What?

Does your brother really work
at a travel agency?

Course not, he's only 15.

What?

Maybe we can start a new life.

We're only 10, Leon.

Exactly, it's not too late.

Your lying won't get you anywhere.

Leon, come back here!

Leon, come back here!

I spent the most incredible day
of my life with Lea.

But it ended as gently

as a meteorite hitting
a nursery school.

Up there, I thought of Jesus.

I dunno why.

Maybe I hoped he'd send a telegram
to lighten the mood.

It was Dad's wrath

or the void.

I chose the quieter place.

You can start school on time.
Good news, huh?

You said Lea would come.

Lea has problems at home.

She's staying with her grandma.
She can't come.

Explain to me
what happened on the stairs.

Why did you jump?

Did you get a telegram
from on high?

I have something to ask you.

I'm listening.

Take Jesus down from the wall.

Why, Leon?

Please.

I want to sleep now.

You'll have to face your demons
one day.

Hello, Greece?

Leon calling the Peloponesus.

Ios? Corfu? Over.

Hello, Mom?

It took me four days.

Did you tell on me?

You left your bandana
at the Mariniers', idiot!

I don't want the kite.

I'm tired, Leon.

Then go to bed.

Tired that we can't have
a normal vacation.

Or play with the neighbours.

That I have to chuck our toys
to protect you.

You have to change.

I know you've been unhappy
since Mom left, but she's gone.

She's not coming back.

Dad stayed with us.

He loves us.

He shouldn't be crying at night.

I don't want
to hear him cry anymore.

Understand?

I want you to be happy.

You have to be happy.

I just want you to be happy.

Please, Leon.

Why are we at the Moreaus'?

Spare the rod, spoil the child.

Come on.

I'll come straight to the point.

You know that Leon vandalized
your house and stole money.

Here's what he stole, plus damages.

He'll pay it back, every penny.

Did you rough him up like that?

No, Leon roughed himself up,
as you put it.

If ever you see him loitering,
just call the police.

Hello, Mrs. Dufort.
This is my son.

Unfortunately he's also a thief,
a vandal and a liar.

For now he can't be trusted.

Don't give or sell him anything.

No hotdogs or drinks.
Just call the police.

Don't let him in.

It's none of my business.

We won't sell him anything.

But Leon will always
be welcome here, understand?

No, Dad! Please!

Crazy family!

Get over here!

You listen to me!
We're not in the Middle Ages!

Now go play!

I spent the summer in Greece.

I met your mom.

She told me all about her boys.

Here.

To make a nice kite.

Why didn't she bring it?

Your mom lives in Greece now, see?

No, he doesn't see.

A business trip is just that.
It's just a trip.

A business trip?

Do you have her address?

She moves around.

- Your mom has a house on...
- Anything for Leon?

Here.

It's the first she did there.

She sent this too.

What's he doing?

We saw dolphins, but it was rainy.

We stayed at a motel.
Mom got a cold so we came back.

And when we got back...

We had...

There was...

Just a sec.
Leon, wait your turn.

When you got back?

Nothing special.

Raccoons had eaten all the veggies
in our garden.

It's Leon's turn now.

Can I move?

Why?

It smells bad here.

It's my fault, Mrs. Chavagnac.
My tummy hurts.

It's because of going back to school.

I think I should go to the john,
because it's not over yet.

Hi.

I can't talk to you.

Why not?

Gran says you're a bad influence.

Why'd you move away?

Don't tell anyone
I cried over the Barbies, OK?

Why would I?

This place is a pigsty.

My hand still hurts.

It's not healed yet.
Go finish your homework.

Come play.

What are we playing?

Schubert.

It's been ages.

Like this?

Ready?

One, two...

Do you need the john, Leon?

Analyze this.

I can't. I have to go.

You're falling way behind
the others.

Go to the board.

Lea runs with Rene.

Where are they going?

Identify the subject,
verb and complement.

It bugs me not to know where.

To the field, OK?

Who's Rene?

Analyze it!

What now?

Julie runs with Rene.

Lea can't be with Rene.

She has stuff to do.

Now can I go? Otherwise I'll faint
and not on purpose.

Leon loves Lea!

Analyze it! Analyze it!

I have diarrhea.

Not a pretty sight.

Mustard yellow.
Want to analyze it?

Do what you have to do.

I'll keep you posted.

Write a composition about your
outing last Tuesday to Montreal.

Describe the picnic.
You've got half an hour.

Can you buy me some Barbies?

Barbies?

A dozen or so.

And mini hair brushes too.

Aren't you supposed to be in school?

In fact, it's for a school project.

I was asked to bring presents
for children in Vietnam.

Where's your teacher?

OK, it's not for school.

It's for my friend, Lea.

Her uncle beats her.

Your stories make no sense.

Mom said that if I had to lie,
to keep my stories straight.

For once I'm not lying.

Lea's sad, her uncle beats her.

She dreams of Barbies.

It's the truth.

It's not my fault
if it doesn't make sense.

I have a treasure for you.

We could learn to play
like normal kids.

For the last time, leave me alone!

Think I'm interested in Barbies?

And bubblegum and cheap junk?

The police came to our house.
I had to see a psychologist.

I'm moving to another town.

It's over, Leon.
Understand?

So, Rene Levesque has founded
a separatist party.

You're very quiet.

Nothing to tell me?

How was school this week?

Boring.

Something happened to me.

I'm listening.

I escaped out
the second-storey window.

Lea wouldn't take my Barbies
'cause of her psychologist.

Let's talk like grown-ups.

Have you been calling overseas?

11 calls to Greece in 2 weeks.

Did you speak to your mother?

I've had it with the lies!

Maybe you were luckier,

but when I called
they only spoke Greek.

She doesn't live there.

Who gave you the number?

It's--

I stole it from that lady's purse.

You did what?

I did, and lots of other stuff.

- That's not it.
- You shut up!

Does Mom know I was in the hospital?

That I tried to kill myself?

I wrote her about your accident.

You have her address?

Why didn't she come see me?

You fell.
You just lost your balance.

Who cares?
You have her address!

Why didn't she come?

Greece is far away.

- So?
- It was better she didn't.

Better for who?

Is she dead
and you don't want to tell us?

Don't overdramatize.
She's not dead.

She left.
That was her choice.

If she doesn't see you now...

that's my choice.

I don't understand.

Your mom made her choice.

She knew she wouldn't see you again.

I didn't make that decision lightly.

Madeleine was a bad influence.

You lied!

You had her address!

Lying is bad.
But lying badly is worse!

What?

She didn't abandon us.

You forced her to stay away.

Goddamn liar!

It's complicated.
I know it's hard to understand.

I tried to do my best.

- To protect you.
- She's not coming back?

Where are you going?

Today I learned two things.

The first is that
Dad's capable of lying.

He and I have that in common.

The second is that
Lea and me was an accident.

The right place, the wrong time.

She emptied my reserves of love
for a thousand years.

All that love, an atomic
mushroom cloud over Bikini Island,

led me here,

to the back of a bowling alley.

So I'll take the advice
of a Greek philosopher, who said,

"Desperate times,
desperate measures".

I'm going to start a new life too.

It'll make it easier for Jerome,
who wants only a normal life,

and Dad, who needs more time
to save the planet.

Starting over is like
starting a new Lego house.

You have to undo the first one,
reduce it to rubble.

After that,
everything's possible.

Mom?

Yes.

What's the sky like there?

As beautiful as your eyes.

Are you happy there?

Yes.

Mom?

What?

I love you.

The ball hit the pin
and the pin nicked my head.

Life's not made for me
but I seem to be made for life.

I thought a lot while I was
in my coma in hospital.

I know Mom's not coming back.

Not right away, anyway.

But I decided
I'd wait for her a bit.

A bit all my life.

For now,
I'll take care of Mrs. Brisebois.

IT'S NOT ME, I SWEAR!

English subtitles: Robert Gray, Kinograph