It's Kind of a Funny Story (2010) - full transcript

It starts on a bridge.

Craig !

What were you
planning to do
about your bike, hon?

l don't care about my bike.
l'm killing myself.

But we spent
a lot of money on
the bike, sport.

We only ask that
you take care of it.

Think of me, Craig.
l might want that bike
when l grow up.

l'm sorry.
l just didn't think it. . .

That's right. You just
didn't think about us

when you were
deciding to do this,
did you, honey?

Pretty selfish,
l'd say.



Have you thought
about how this might
affect your sister?

l'm. . . l'm sorry, l. . .

This is the moment
where I usuaIIy wake up
in a sweaty panic.

But for some reason,

this time was different.

l. . .

l want to kill myself.

Fill this out. So. . .

How you doing?

You got a cigarette?

Uh. . . No, sorry.

What's wrong with you?

l just don't smoke.

No, l mean,
why are you in an ER,



at 5:00 on a Sunday morning?

Well. . .

l guess,
there's just been

a lot going on
in my mind lately.

Go ahead.

Okay, well, this is sort
of difficult to explain.

But. . .
See there's this girl. . .

Yeah, got you.

And this summer
school application that
l'm really nervous about.

Summer school?

Yeah, it's like
this super prestigious,
kind of. . .

Why would you want to be
in school in the summer?

You should be
on Coney lsland,
bird-dogging chicks.

Are you a doctor?

What do you think?

You. . . You don't really
seem like a doctor.

You ever heard of
Doogie Howser?

Well, l hope
they fix whatever's
wrong with you.

Thank you.
Yeah.

So, how long have you
been feeling suicidal?

l don't know.
l've been depressed
for about a year.

Mmm-hmm.

And l've thought
about it before,
but never like this.

You know,
never so real.

Did anything happen today
specifically to trigger
these feelings?

Sometimes l wish
I had an easy answer
for why I'm depressed.

That my father beat me.
Or l was sexually abused.

But my probIems are
less dramatic than that.

Like, my dad aIways asks
the wrong questions.

So, Craig,
how's the lntro to
Wall Street class?

So maybe this is
a sIight exaggeration,

but I do have a probIem
with stress vomiting.

And my friends sometimes
look at me like
I'm from another pIanet.

And l'm obsessed
with this girI.

Who happens to be going out
with my best friend.

So, is there any one thing
that made me want
to jump off a bridge?

Um. . . No.
Nothing unusual.

Hmm.

You on any medications?

Zoloft. But l stopped.

Yeah, did your doctor
take you off the meds?

No, l just stopped
on my own.

Oh, you shouldn't do that.

Well, Craig,
it doesn't seem like
you're a danger to yourself.

So, what l'm
gonna suggest is that
we contact your parents,

let them know
what's going on,

and then we refer you
to one of our
outpatient services.

Okay?
But. . .

l need help now.

l know you're upset.

But, Craig,
the people that we admit
into this facility,

are very, very sick.

l am, too.

Well, can't you just, like,
give me something?

Not without your
parents' consent.

Look, this is
serious business.

Maybe l'm not explaining right
how serious this is.

lt feels like everything
is just building up,

and everyone else,
they just seem

to handle everything.
You know, like. . .

But not me, you know.

l'm scared, okay?

And l can't go
back out there.

l don't know what. . .

l might do something.

So, l just need some help.
Please. l just need you
to help me.

Welcome to
3 North, Craig.

Um. . . What exactly
is 3 North?

Our adult psychiatric floor.

Oh, but, l'm only 16.

Our teen floor is undergoing
some renovations,

so all teens are here
with the adults.

And while you're with us,
you'll be expected
to act like one.

So, starting tomorrow,

you'll follow the schedule
and participate in
the group activities.

ln the meantime,
we'll contact your family,
and they can bring over

a change of
clothes, toothbrush,
that kind of thing.

Well, l don't think
l'll be here that long.

l have school
tomorrow, so. . .

You'll have to discuss
that with Dr. Minerva.

Now, do you have any
sharp objects on you?
Pocket knife? Keys?

And your belt
and shoe laces.

My shoe laces?

We can't take any chances.

Hey, Dr. Minerva.

Hey, Smitty.

This is our new patient,
Craig Gilner.

Hi, Craig. How are you?

Um. . . Just, like, you know.

Well, why don't
you get settled in,
and we'll talk later, okay?

Nice to meet you, Craig.

lt'll come to you.

Good morning, Jimmy.

What was that about?

Jimmy? He's a schizophrenic.

ls there a place here
for people more like me?

We got all kinds
of patients here, man.
All kinds. . .

Hey, hey, Bobby!

My man.

How about a tour for our
new friend, Craig, here?
What do you say?

- Sure thing, babe.
- Thanks, man.

So, Bobby's gonna
show you around,

while we fix up
your room, okay?

Okay.
Yeah? All right.

See you guys in a jiff.

So, is this like
a mental ward?

Not a ward,
it's a hospital.

Well, this is
where we hang out.

There's a record
player and such.

All the records
are scratched.

Some folks like
to hang out and
play table tennis.

Did they tell you
about the points system?

Points for ping-pong?

l think the name ping-pong
trivializes the sport.

But, l mean,
like, points for privileges,
to hang out in the rec room,

visit the gift shop,
stuff like that.

You can join them if you like.

Uh, no, l'm cool.

Cool Craig. l like that.

This is the shower.
lt doesn't have a lock.

So when you go in,
put it on "in-use,"
get it?

l got it.
Okay, you got it,
but nobody else does.

So they'll walk in
on you when you're
scrubbing your balls.

And you don't want that.

There's one in
the other hall, too,

but l wouldn't use it.
lt bothers Solomon.

Who's Solomon?

Hey, Bobby!
Hey, Cap.

Right here,
this is where
you call people.

Assuming you have people.
Or they can call you.

You know, telephone.

And this is the TV room.

People hang out and
watch TV in that room.

That's why
they call it that.

Um. . . Who was that?

That's Noelle.
She's one of the teens.

Did they tell you
about the renovations?

Yeah.

How old are you?

Sixteen.

Sixteen !

You look stressed out for 16.

You need to relax.
Get a girlfriend,
or something, you know.

l'm working on it.
Mmm-hmm.

So what is it you
do here, exactly?

Same thing as you.

You're a patient?

What were you doing
in the emergency
room this morning?

ER has the best coffee, son.

They just let you out?

No.

What are you in here for?

Let's go see if Smitty's got
your room ready.

Hey, Muqtada,
got a new roommate, man.

Hey.

Don't take
it personal, man.
He doesn't really talk much.

And l've actually
never seen him
leave the room.

Okay, guys,
lunch in five.

What do they have for lunch?

l'm sorry?

Please, turn out light.

Dr. Minerva.

l'm feeling
much better now.

l was feeling bad
this morning,
but l'm okay now.

So, you know,
l'd like to go home,
if that's cool.

lt says here you're suicidal
and asked to be admitted.

Yeah, l thought you guys
could do something quick.

You know,
like give me some medication
to make me feel better.

Or. . .

Look, l didn't think
that l'd be committed.

l really don't think
l belong here.

A lot of patients
feel that way at first.
Just give it a little time.

How little?

Five days.

Five days?

No more than 30.
We'll have an evaluation

to see if you're ready
to leave on Thursday.

l can't be here
until Thursday

because l'll miss school,
and my friends might
find out where l am.

lt's nothing to be
ashamed of, Craig.

Depression is
a medical illness.

lf you were diabetic,
would you be
embarrassed by that?

Well, can l at least
talk to my mom
about this before. . .

Of course, Craig.
l just spoke to her,
she's very anxious to see you.

Craig !

Don't blame
my parents for how
messed up I am.

Okay, so my dad
works too much.

And my mom's
a IittIe too fragiIe.

And my sister's some
kind of chiId genius.

But it's not like
I was never hugged as
a chiId or anything.

In fact, they've been
pretty supportive
through aII this.

l knew you were
having a hard time,
but l had no idea.

That you were. . .
That it was. . .

Well, you're so brave, honey.
l'm so proud of you.

Really? Um. . .

'Cause l was actually
having second thoughts.

Oh, no, hon. l think
the doctors said
they need you

to stay here for a couple
of days for observation.

l think that's
a real good idea.

But l don't think
you really understand, okay?

Some of the people
in here are really
messed up.

l don't think
my roommate's left
the room in weeks.

l think we better
leave it up

to the doctor's discretion,
you know.

We've tried and. . .

They're professionals,
they can help you in
ways that we can't.

And l think it's. . .

l think it looks
like a real nice place.
Right, George?

Take your hands
out of my pockets!

Yeah. When can
l join?

Me, too. Can l stay, too?

Oh, no, honey.
But we'll come and visit.

They took my cell phone,
so some people might
try to call the house.

Just please do not
tell them that l'm in here.

Here are some clothes,
and toiletries and stuff.

And will you
eat something, please?

- lan Curtis.
- Who?

Dude from Joy Division.
Hung himself.

Kurt Cobain.

Freud.

Ernest Hemingway.

Salvador Allende.

Jesus Christ, girl.
Can you pick somebody
we've heard of for once?

Chilean president.

Shot himself rather than
surrender to a fascist
military coup.

Mmm-mmm.
l don't think that counts.

Of course,
it counts.

lf he was going
to die anyway,
it doesn't count.

Hey, Craig !

Come sit with the men.

Craig, this is my pal, Johnny,
and this clown right here,
this is Humble.

You got
a girlfriend?

He's working on it.

They got some
cute ones your age.

l had a lot of women
in my day, kid.

Yeah?

You don't have to act
so surprised.

Back in the day,
l was Sir Lick-a-Lot.

Ask Bobby.

But you want to know
the secret to keeping
any woman under your spell?

l love you.

That's it?

That's it.
But it don't hurt if
you can play guitar.

Don't mess with
the kid's mind,

he's already screwed up
enough as it is.

Why are you
so screwed, kid?

Mind your own
business, Humble.

That's cool.

But you should know, Craig,
if you don't open up,
you're never going to heal.

Hey, what's the pot up to now?

Eleven.
Eleven?

Yesterday,
it was 12.

Humble ate a buck.

Humble ate a buck?

The professor
bet him a dollar,
he wouldn't eat it. He won.

What is the world
coming to?

Bunch of nut jobs in here,
l'll tell you that.

What's the money for?

Pizza party.

So we don't have
to eat this crap.

They say we can have one,
but we gotta pay
for it ourselves.

Well, l have eight dollars.

Well, you don't have to
go bragging about it, Craig.

People in here have nothing.

Show a little
humility, please.

No. l didn't mean. . .
lt's. . .

lt's okay. You're young,
you'll learn.

Craig.
You get two points
for eating, man.

l bet Smitty's
got 15 bucks on him.

And he's got
a 20 spot. l saw it.

Let's go jump him
in the parking lot.

lt's under the hat.

lt's under the hat?

Sorry.

Check.

So, Craig, how are you
adjusting to 3 North?

Uh. . . Okay, l guess.

Dr. Mahmoud wrote that
you were taking Zoloft,

but went off it
three weeks ago.
ls that right?

Yeah.

Do you see a therapist?

Dr. Yanof was the one
who prescribed me the Zoloft.

l see her every,
you know, month or so.

Why did you stop taking it?

l guess
l thought l was better.
Like l didn't need it.

Maybe that's because
it was working.

Can you describe to me
how you were feeling

before coming
here this morning?

l guess, depressed.

Anxious, stressed.

Have you been
feeling more stress
than usual lately?

Any reason in particular?

Yeah. There's this
Franklin Gates
Summer Semester thing

that my dad. . .

Well, that l really
want to get into.

But the application
is due in a week

and l haven't
even looked at it.

Why not?

Every time l think about it,

my brain starts
this cycling thing
about not getting in.

What would happen
if you didn't get in?

Then l wouldn't
be abIe to put it on my
coIIege appIications.

Which means l wouldn't
get into a good coIIege.

But not even Adam Smith
could have foreseen

the inequities of
modern capitalism.

If I didn't get
into a good coIIege,
I wouIdn't have a good job.

Diffusing the situation
in Iran through
uniIateraI dipIomacy

is my top priority
as Commander in Chief.

Which means l wouldn't
be able to afford
a good IifestyIe.

Hey, MTV. lt's your boy,
Craig Gilner.

Welcome to my crib.

So l wouldn't be able
to find a girIfriend.

Which means l'd
probabIy get depressed.

And I'd end up Iike Muqtada
in a pIace Iike this
for the rest of my Iife.

So, what would happen
if l didn't get in?

l don't know.
lt's hard to explain.

Do you have anyone
you can explain it to?
Friends? Family?

l have friends and family,
but it's not always easy.

lt's important to
have a support system.

People you can
really talk to.

Have you been having
any other symptoms?

l have trouble eating.
l can't keep it down.

All right.

You'll start group
activities tomorrow,

we'll check in
again on Tuesday.

You have any questions?

Yes. Um. . .

lf l'm feeling better,

do you think l can get out
of here by tomorrow?

Because l have school
and this application and. . .

Five days, Craig. Minimum.

l know this seems
like a strange place
at first,

but try to make
the most of it.

lt's Monday.

I shouIdn't be waking up
next to some depressive
middIe-aged Egyptian dude.

I shouIdn't be showering
on a co-ed floor in
a stall without a lock.

l shouldn't be
Iining up for meds

behind schizophrenics
and sociopaths.

It's Monday,
l should be in school.

But I guess
that's what got me here
in the first pIace.

When my parents
Went to school,

they just went
to the one closest
to their house.

Makes sense, right?

A Iot of pIaces
are still like this.

Cleveland, probably Denver.

But not New York.

You've got schooIs
for science geeks Iike...

Bronx High School of Science.

Schools for thespians.

The LaGuardia School
for the Performing Arts.

Schools for do-gooders.

EI Puente Academy
for Peace and Justice.

But the most
competitive of aII

NeW York City public schools
is this one.

Executive Pre-Professional.

My schooI.

This billionaire
phiIanthropist named
Gerard Lutz

set it up in conjunction
with the pubIic schooI system.

So it's not some
private schooI for eIite
Upper-East-Siders.

You can be on welfare
and food stamps,

or your parents
can own an island
in the South Pacific.

lt doesn't matter.

You'll be accepted
as long as you're
one of the 800

smartest and most
accomplished students
in the five boroughs.

Like these kids here.

There must have been
a serious clerical error,
because somehow...

l got in.

Me, too.
Me, too.

You, too?
You, too?

That's my best friend, Aaron,
getting fIirt-punched by
Nia for the first time.

There were many
more of those.

FoIIowed by hand-hoIding,
kissing and eventuaIIy, sex.

l don't like to
picture that one.

What I wouId give
to be fIirt-punched
by Nia just once.

And so it began...

Look at
those mahatmas.

l always wanted a Harley
with hot, tight mahatmas.

You can have the mahatmas,
l just want the beaver.

Hey, Bobby, check out
this bike.

Yeah, l don't get
wrapped in a bunch of stuff
l can't have.

Relax, it's just
for fun, bro.

That's not fun.

That's propaganda, man.

All those
Madison Avenue types.

Telling you how
to live your life.

Fast cars, hot chicks,

Reese's Pieces, Gucci.

Werther's Original.

l don't buy
into that bullshit.

Are you gonna
eat your burrito, Craig?

No, l'm not hungry.
You can have it.

Hello, Mr. Breakfast Burrito.

Humble, put that back.

He said l could have it.

Yeah, it's really fine.

Craig's gotta eat, too.
Put it back.

Take a hike, Bob.

He's not hungry.

Thanks, Bobby,
but l'm really not hungry.

Fine, what do
l care if you eat?

l understand
there was an incident
this morning.

Would anyone care
to talk about it?

Something involving
a breakfast burrito.

Johnny?

lt was between
Bobby and Humble.
Ask them.

l was interested
in hearing it from
an impartial observer.

Well, if you want
my opinion, l think Bobby
has been on edge

because of his interview,
and he's lashing out
because he's nervous.

lnteresting observation,
Johnny.

My hemorrhoids are
flaring up too, Johnny.

Want to tell the group
about that?

Hemorrhoids!
lt'll come to ya!

Bobby, it's okay
if you want to keep
your feelings private,

but you should know that
there's nothing wrong
with being nervous

about your
interview tomorrow.

l'm not nervous
about my interview.

Then what is it, Bob?

Maybe he's hungry.

He doesn't
look hungry.

He looks tired.

Did you
sleep last night?

He didn't eat today.

Yes, he did.

Did you see him eat?

l'm pretty
sure he ate.

l didn't see him eat.

l get anxious
when l'm tired.

Okay, listen.

l'm not hungry
and l'm not tired.
lt's just the sweater.

lt's all l have for
my interview tomorrow.

l told you it
was the interview.

lt's a nice sweater, Bob.

No, it's not.
lt smells like
a hobo's Band-Aid.

But it looks
good on you.

About as good as
your hair looks on you.

Bobby, no insults, please.

l can loan you a shirt.

What was
that, Craig?

l'll just call my mom
and have her bring one
of my dad's shirts over.

lt's not a problem.
l live like two blocks away.

No, thanks.

Bobby! Take the shirt.

Yeah, he's trying
to help, Bob.

lt's a very
nice offer, Craig.

Bobby, why are you
reluctant to accept it?

'Cause l don't
want any handouts.

lt wouldn't exactly
be a handout.

He'd just be
loaning it to you.

Okay, l'll take it.
As long as you'll
get off my back.

Do you want
the shirt, Bobby?

l would. . .

l would like the shirt.

Craig?

ls it okay if it has
yellow armpit stains?

Sorry,
it was a dumb joke.

When are you
going to let me get
to see her again?

When are you
going to let me get
to see her again?

Because l'm her father.
You don't think that l have. . .

What's that?
l do have. . .
l will have a place.

l have a. . .
l'm gonna have a place
on Thursday. lt's true.

Listen, l never asked
you for anything.

Could you just, for once,
maybe do what l say.
Hello? Hello!

You have two new messages.

Hey, Craig. lt's me.

Okay. So,
she's probabIy not in
the bathtub right now,

but this is how
l sometimes like
to picture Nia.

It's sick, I knoW.

You were acting
a little weird earlier,

so l just
wanted to make sure
everything's okay.

All right, that's it.

l'm with Aaron.
He's being such
a tool. Bye!

Hello, Mr. Gilner,
this is your science teacher,
Mr. Reynolds.

We really need to talk
about your missing
lab assignments.

Five of them.

Hello?

Hey, Nia. What's up?

Hey! Just finishing
my Gates Summer app.
l'll freak if l don't get in.

What's up with you?

Um. Just feeling
kind of, you know. . .

Yeah, l noticed.
ls that why you weren't
in school today?

Yeah, l was
feeling pretty shitty,
so l just stayed home.

Yeah. I get Iike that
sometimes, too.

Depressed or whatever.

Do you take
anything for it?

Um. . .

Look, l never
told anybody this.

Not even Aaron, but,
if it makes you
feeI any better,

I see a therapist.

Really?

For, like,
over a year now.

l had no idea.

Yeah, it's pretty
embarrassing.

l take Zoloft.
Shut up!

l do.

Oh, my God !
We're like so
screwed up.

Yeah, we're like partners
in mental illness.

The illest.

l'm Solomon.
l would ask you to
please keep it down.

l'm trying to rest.

Craig, Who is that?

Um. . .
Excuse me.

Is everything okay?
Will you be much longer?

One second, please.

Are you Iike in
a crack den or something?

Yeah, no, it's fine.
Everything's. . .

lt'll come to you.
lt will always
come to you.

Where are you?

l gotta go, Nia. Bye.

Craig...

lt's all yours.

Thanks, Mom.

You know,
your dad really wanted
to be here today,

he just had a client crisis.

Client crisis?

Yeah, but he said,
he's for sure
coming tomorrow.

Have you made
any friends yet?

Yeah, l guess.

Are you friends
with the tranny?

Oh, the tranny.

Not really.

Did you talk to my school?

Because l really
can't have them finding
l'm in a place like this.

lt could really
damage my future.

No, no. l just said
you were in the hospital.

l didn't say
anything specific.

Good. The last thing
l need is for them

to find out l've
been institutionalized.

Transvestite!

Schizo!

What's going on, babe?

Uh. . .

Sorry. l was just
dropping the shirt off.

She's cute, isn't she?

Yeah. ls she yours?

Veronica. Like the
Elvis Costello song.

How old is she?

Eight and three-quarters.

That's what she says.
Three quarters.

Well, good luck
with your interview.

What's it for,
if you don't
mind me asking?

A group home.

Basically,
l need a place to live

when they kick me out
of here on Thursday.

Let me know if you
need somebody to practice
with or something.

What do you mean?

Like a practice interview.
So you're better prepared.

Yeah?

Yeah.

You want to try?

You want to try now?

lf you're not
doing anything.

Okay, great.
Uh. . . Hold on.

Let me do this with
the official shirt on.

Okay. You're ready?

Hold on one second.
l don't know if
l'll do it like. . .

Which is better, like. . .

This?

Yeah. That looks natural.

Okay.

You can relax.

l'm nervous.

Okay, why is it that you
think you qualify to live
in this group home?

Because if you
don't accept me,
l'll be homeless.

Okay, good.

Yeah, l think you're ready.

Really? l didn't
sound too desperate?

No. But, uh. . .

You might want to focus
on the positive things

that you get from
this experience

as opposed to, you know. . .

The negative.

Exactly. Like what
is it that you could
bring to the home?

Something special that
only you could offer.

lt could be anything.
Maybe you have
a great attitude?

No.

You always clean up
after yourself?

Not really.

You know, l think
in these situations

it's okay to bend the truth
just a little bit.

Yeah. l just
don't want to get
people's expectations up

and then
disappoint them later.

That's it. You're pragmatic.
That's what you tell them.

Okay, yeah. Right?

Yeah, l know
you're gonna do great.

Thanks.

You want to play
some table tennis?

l'm pretty terrible
at table tennis.

lt's all right.
lt's just for fun.
Come on.

We play
a lot around here.
The problem is,

most people are
too zonked out on
their meds to compete.

One, zip.

She's a liar.

She's a liar.

Please, baby. Baby.
Please listen. Listen.

l love you.

Don't worry about it.

Of course,
l forgive you, baby.

Johnny doesn't phone kiss.

You came.

Yeah. l mean,
l had other plans,
but l canceled them.

Good. l thought
l might have scared
you off yesterday.

Oh, yeah,
celebrity suicide.

lt's kind of weird.

Okay, so check it out.
We're gonna play
a different game today.

Okay.

l ask you a question
and you ask me a question.

Do we answer them?

lt's up to you,
but no matter what,

you have to finish
with a question.

Here we go. You ready?
Yeah.

l said
finish with a question.

Are you stupid?

Uh, no. . . Are you?

There you go.
Do you think
l'm gross looking?

No. You look awesome.

What's your question?

Why'd you invite me here?

l thought it was nice
that you loaned
Bobby your shirt.

Don't you think
this is a good way
to get to know someone?

Sure.

Have you played this before?

Not in here.

Are you a virgin?

So. . .

How long have
you been here?

Nice transition, Craig.

Twenty-one days.
Who dragged you here?

l checked myself in,
l guess.

Kind of, by accident.

The suicide hotline
said to come.

Why are you here so long?

They think l might
cut myself again.

Why'd you call
the suicide hotline?

l guess. . .

Maybe l didn't really
want to kill myself.

But l kind of did.

Does that make sense?

So, where do you go?

Executive Pre-Professional.
You?

Delfin.

You're not some sort of
school uniform perv,
are you?

You guys wear uniforms?

l knew it.

Okay, sorry, l'm gonna
invade your personal
space for one second.

Why?

What are you doing?
l'm just. . .

Ow, you shocked me.
Make a wish.

What do we do now?

Are you still playing?

No. Are you?

l'll race you
to arts and crafts.

Hey, guys.
No running, please.

Well, well, well !

Still working on it,
Cool Craig?

lt's not
what you think.

l think the two of you
were playing the
question game outside.

That's what l think.

Well, l guess it is
what you think then.

l thought so.

This is free period
arts recreational therapy
for you latecomers.

l'm Joanie,
recreation director.

l'm Craig.

Well, materials
are on the table, Craig.
So just go for it.

That's okay.
l don't really draw.

Sure you do.
lt doesn't have to
be representative,

it can be abstract,
whatever you want.

Well, l'll just hang out,
if that's okay.

Everybody?
Our new guest, Craig,

is having what we call
an artistic block.

He doesn't know
what to draw.

How about beavers?

Humble, we do not
draw the sort of beavers
you're talking about.

Oh, really?

That's actually nice.

l thought it was
gonna be a vagina.
That's nice.

Rolling pin !

What was that, Roger?
Did you say something?

This is weird.

Look, she's not gonna
get off your back until
you draw something.

Can be anything.

l bet you got some
crazy stuff in that messed up
little mind of yours.

America has created
the Iongest

peace time economic
expansion in our history.

Shit!

With nearIy
18 miIIion new jobs,

wages rising at more than
twice the rate of inflation.

The highest home
ownership in history.

Craig, honey,
what's the matter?

l can't do it.
Five years old and
l'm already a failure.

What can't you do?

l can't even trace Manhattan
on tracing paper.

Tracing paper!
Are you kidding me?

Craig, you can't
trace freehand and
expect it to be perfect.

Why not?

Because, honey,
you're five years old.

That's no excuse.

Mozart composed
three major symphonies
by the time he was five.

Actually, Craig,
it was four.

l have an idea.

lnstead of trying to
trace maps of Manhattan,

why don't you just
make up your own maps?

Of imaginary places.

Oh, looks like
somebody got unblocked.

That is extraordinary.

- What is it?
- lt's so pretty.

Looks like a brain
or something, right?

Yeah, it's a brain map.

lt's a great brain map.

lt's beautiful.

A smart talent.

l didn't
get the brain part.
Looks like a city.

Hey, Craig,
you got a phone call, man.

Hello?

ls this the loony bin?

Okay, l've been
putting this off,

but I guess you
should know more

about my best friend, Aaron.

He's the kind of guy
that Iife just comes
easy to.

He's got a 4.6 GPA.
l don't even see
how that's possibIe.

And he'll
probabIy get into
the Gates Summer Program,

and cIaim something Iike...

l didn't even
apply to that thing.
They totally recruited me.

Whatever, it'll look good
on my college apps.

Not that he'd need it.
His extra-curriculars
are out of control.

I mean,
Aaron does everything.

He plays sports.

He started a fiIm society.

He invented that
adapter thing that converts
vinyI aIbums into MP3s.

I just couIdn't compete.

How'd you get this number?

My girI gave it to me.

How'd you end up
in adult psych?

Do they serve beer in there?

Dude, can you
get me any Vicodin?

Come on, guys.
Leave him alone.

Seriously, Craig,
what happened?

l don't know.
l had a bad night.

What do you mean,
a bad night?

l'm just feeling. . .

Dude, you just need
to chill more, okay?

Your problem is,
you never chill.

I'm gonna be chiIIing tonight,
where you gonna be?

Here. l'm gonna be here.

Oh, my God, Craig !
There is so nothing wrong
with you.

Yes, there is.
l'm depressed.

l take pills for it.
Ask Nia.

Ask Nia what?

Craig!

Forget it. Maybe if
you weren't such a dick,

people would talk to you
more and you would know
this kind of stuff.

Dude, is this some kind of
pity play for my girlfriend?

Aaron. . .
What?

Fuck you.

l know, keep it down.
l'm sorry.

l don't have any friends.

This is very
tough thing to learn.

Huh. Seems here someone
neglected to turn in their
Gates Summer application.

Who is it that doesn't want
to study at Franklin Gates
this summer?

Or eventually get
into a good college?

Get a good job.
Have a good lifestyle.
Get laid.

l don't understand
why anyone would want
to end up depressed,

alone and homeless

in a psych ward.

Sleeping next to
some asocial reject
named Muqtada.

How many times are you gonna
wind up in here again, huh?

What is the matter with you?

How can you let your child
see you like this, huh?

What kind of
father are you?

l honestly think
it'd be better off

for her, for all of us,
if you were just dead.

But you can't
even get that right.

Excuse me, miss,
you're going to have to leave.

Come on.

You okay, Bobby?

My accountant.

Check the wrong box
and the woman goes nuts.

And so, who was
there buying soy milk?

Alec Baldwin,
which l thought
was kind of cool.

And l talked to
the admissions guy
at Gates.

He agreed to give you
an extension.

But, you just focus
on getting well, honey.
Don't stress about that. Okay?

Uh, yeah, you shouldn't
stress about it.

That doesn't mean
it's not important
to try for it.

George. . .

Don't you have
a client in crisis
somewhere, Dad?

lt'll come to you !

Hey, Bobby.

How was your interview?

l blew it.

What happened?

Calm down ! Calm down !

Okay, man.
Easy, easy. Easy does it.

Here we go.
Okay. lt's all right.

And was that
difficult for you?
Seeing Bobby like that?

l was scared.

Not that he was gonna
hurt me or anything.

Just, you know,
seeing someone
lose it like that.

You know,
it reminded me of
how l feel sometimes.

How's that?

Like l'm on the verge
of just blowing up.

All the stress and pressure
and anxiety just bubbling up.

But l'm never able
to let it out like that.

You know,
l just keep it inside.

Have you always
felt that way?

Well, not when
l was a kid.

Tell me about it.

What do you mean?

About a time you remember
being happy. Carefree.

Uh. . .

There was this one day
back in eighth grade.

It wasn't that Iong ago,
but time felt different
back then.

Like there was more of it.

We spent the morning
at Coney lsland.

Afterwards,
we rode our bikes
through Bay Ridge,

Sunset Park,

Park Slope,

Downtown BrookIyn,

BrookIyn Heights,

aII the way to
the BrookIyn Bridge.

Then everything changed.

Girls, grades,
parents, two wars,

impending
environmental catastrophe,
a messed up economy. . .

All these things seemed
to come out of nowhere,
like on the same day.

Craig, there is a saying
that goes something like,

"Lord, grant me the strength
to change the things l can,

"the courage to accept
the things l can't,

"and the wisdom to
know the difference."

So. . .

So, let's talk
about your parents.

You think l can
change my parents?

No, but l'm a psychiatrist.

So l have to ask you
about them at some point.

Um. . .

They're good people.

But, okay, take my dad.
l just saw him today.

And he knows l'm in here
'cause l'm stressed out,

but he still brings up
the Gates application.

lt's, like,
"Get a clue, Dad.

"There's something
bigger going on here."

And what's that?

l don't know.

But it feels big.

Thanks.

No problem.

ls everything okay?

Yeah, just screwing
the pooch with my interview.
lt's okay.

Oh, l'm sorry.

l'm over it.

Really?

Not really,
l'm just zonked on Ativan.

Where'd you get
the ice cream?

Mister Softee,
across the street.

Bobby, man !

l want ice cream.

Can l have a lick, Bob?

Got to do
two points off, Bob.

lt's worth it.

What's with these points?

Yeah, what is
with these points?

l mean, seriously,
no one could possibly be
keeping track of all of them.

That's
three points off for
doubting the system.

Ah, screw the system.
You can have some
of my points.

Johnny needs a lick.

lt looks good.

What's this?

Dollar.

For the pizza party.

Where'd you get this?
Don't worry about it.

Yeah, it's a true story.

He was one of
the Black Panthers.

And you never
heard from him again?

Mmm-mmm.

Don't touch me.
Don't touch me.
Don't touch me.

Don't touch me.
See that lady right there?

She was a radical
academic up at Columbia,

and then they
passed the Patriot Act.

You know what
the Patriot Act is?

Yeah.
Okay.

When they passed
the Patriot Act,
then she went bonkers.

She thought that Bush
put bugs in all the phones.

Pretty crazy, right?

And that guy,
Solomon, over there?

He's nuts, too.

He's part of this
Hasidic acid-head scene
in Williamsburg.

He did 100 tabs of acid.

Don't look, don't look.
ln one night.

And hasn't been
the same since.

Yeah.
Wow!

Yeah. Crazy, right?

Kinda cool.

Some cool people in here.

Yeah, uh. . .

What about you?

What about me?

l just. . .

You know, um,
your daughter, Veronica.

When are you
gonna see her again?

You know, l think
my daughter is just
better off without me.

Come on.
No, really.

l mean, l'm not really
a role model in this place,

and l think she's just. . .

She's better off.

Look, l know that
it's none of my business,

and you can
tell me to get lost
whenever you want,

but l think that she's just
gonna want her dad around,

and l don't think
she's gonna care about. . .

You should get lost.

Okay.

l think the Ativan's
wearing off, l'm sorry.

lt's fine.

Sorry.

Do you have any
other puke stories

that you'd like
to share with me,

while we're getting
to know each other?

l have a few actually.

Want to try?

No, it's okay.

Welcome back to
musical exploration.

Um, who doesn't
have an instrument?

No worries, bro.
Let's get you right
up here on vocals.

Uh, no, l can't sing.

Like he can't draw.

Seriously, l. . .
No, l'm just. . .

Cool Craig,
what are you afraid of?
Come on.

Craig,
get up there. Craig.

Craig, Craig, Craig.

You know this one?

l think l've heard it before.

All right.

Bobby and the ladies
will help you out.

The ladies?

Okay, people,
just like we practiced
last week.

You guys ready?

Here we go.

Pressure pushing
down on me

Pressing down on you
no man ask for

Under pressure

That burns a buiIding down

Splits a family in tWo

Puts peopIe on streets

That's okay

It's the terror of knowing
what this world is about

Watching some good
friends screaming

Let me out!

Pray tomorrow
gets me higher

Pressure on peopIe,
peopIe on the streets

Turned away from it aII

Like a blind man

Sat on a fence
but it don't work

Keep coming up with Iove
but it's so slashed and torn

Why? Why?

Why?

Love, love, love, love

Insanity Iaughs
under pressure
we're cracking

Can't We give ourselves
one more chance

Why can't we give Iove
that one more chance

Why can't we give Iove

Give love, give love
Give love, give love

Give love, give love
Give love, give love

'Cause love's such
an old fashioned word

And Iove dares you
to change our way of

Caring about ourselves

This is our last dance

This is ourselves

Under pressure

Under pressure

Pressure

Oh, my God,
you're Iike a totaI
rock star.

Like the whole
school's obsessed with you.

You're all anyone
talks about anymore.

You might want to think
about getting a new look.

What do you mean?

Don't worry,
we'll find you
something cool, Craig.

Cool Craig.

What?

Oh, somebody
in here calls me that.
"Cool Craig."

ls that somebody a girl?

Uh, no.

Well, are there any
cute girls in there?

Not really.

Like, a mental hospital
probably isn't
the best spot to hook up.

l'm dying to see this place.

Can l come visit?
Sure.

Yeah, you can visit.

That is if you don't mind
the groupies hanging
all over me.

Hey, get up.

Yeah, sorry,
l told you l was famous.

They were just
bothering me.

You've really gotta get out
of the room more, Muqtada.

There's a whole
world out there.

lt's just me.
Put these on.
Let's go for a walk.

Oh, my goodness.

Sometimes it's just good
to get out of there.

Charlie, my friend.

You got 30 minutes.

Hey, what's the deal
with you and Noelle?

What do you mean?
What do you mean,
what do l mean?

Don't play dumb with me.

The two of you are like. . .

Your energy is like. . .

Those were fireworks.

You should ask her out.

Ask her out?
Yeah.

Ask her out. Like, out.

Well, l mean,

l like her,

but l think l'd be too
nervous to ask her out.

What are you nervous about?

Rejection.

Babe, you can't
live your life in fear.

You're gonna end up
like Muqtada.

Or worse, me.

That's the part where you go,
"Hey, Bobby, your life's not
that bad," you know.

Oh, sorry, l'm just. . .

Relax. lt's okay, babe.

But you shouldn't
worry about rejection.

You shouldn't.
You can practice with me.

Practice what?

Asking Noelle out.

No, that's okay.
Yeah, l'll be Noelle.

l'll be Noelle. l'm Noelle.

Uh. . .

Hey, Craig.
How's it going?

Hey, Noelle.
l'm well. How are you?

Oh, good.

l get out of here soon,

which is pretty cool.

Do you like music?

Yeah, sure.

l like live music.

Uh, you just gonna
sit there the whole time
you're asking her out?

Stand up. l'm a lady.

No, look man.
You gotta loosen
up a little bit.

Come on, loosen up.

Yeah, okay.
Good, good, good.

But l don't
like to go see live music
by myself.

Oh, okay.

Well, maybe we
could go together?

"Well, okay, uh, maybe
we could go together?"

No. Say that again.
You gotta use
more energy, man.

You gotta go like, "Oh !"
You gotta be excited.

Okay.

Yeah, uh. . .
Yeah, okay. Well, maybe
we could go together.

Oh ! Hmm.

Well, well, well.

Who should we see?

Um. . .

U2?

No.

No.

Vampire Weekend?

No, no, no.
Don't be one of
those douchebags

that takes her to some band
that she doesn't care about.

This is what you do,
and this is very important.

Okay.

Ask her what she likes.

Right. Yeah.

Women like to be
asked questions.
Okay.

Like ask me a question.
l'll be Noelle again.

Um. . .

Do a little flirtation
in the beginning.

What do you mean by that?

Comment on my shoes.

Oh, hey, Noelle,
those shoes are awesome.
They really look nice.

Oh, you're sweet
to say that.

lt's nothing.
Good.

You got it.
You're getting it.
You're getting it.

Okay.
Not bad.

How'd you end up in here?

Man, you don't give up,
do you?

l'm on vacation.

Seriously.

l am serious.

Some people go
to the Hamptons.
l come here.

Get a little R & R.

People feed you.

l get high sometimes, man.

That's not what
l heard about you.

What'd you hear?

l heard you tried to rape
a penguin at the zoo.

Who told you that?

Relax, babe.

Funny guy, huh?

Actually, l. . .

l heard your accountant say
that you tried
to kill yourself.

Well, this may come
as a surprise to you,
Cool Craig, but,

she ain't my accountant.

Gee, really?

And l've tried to
kill myself six times.

l thought about doing that,

but l couldn't
make it to the bridge.

l just came straight here.

What stopped you?

My family, l think.
You know, my parents
and my sister.

Just knowing how bad
it would mess them up.

See, that's the part
l don't get, Craig.

l mean,
you're cool, you're smart,
you're talented.

You have a family
that loves you.

You know, what l would
do just to be you,
for just a day?

l would. . .
l would do so much.

l would. . .

l don't know.
l would just. . .

l'd just live.

Like it meant something.

Let's go.

Smitty, l found
these laying
around somewhere.

What's going on?

Hey, Muqtada.
Are you coming out
for a walk?

What is there to do?

Well, do you like to draw?

Ping-pong.

Ping what?

You like music?

Yes.

Okay. Great. Well, um. . .

Only Egypt music.

Oh, well, let's see.

Excuse me, if you please.
l am trying to rest.

Sol, have you
met Muqtada?

lf you could
please keep it down.

He has sensitive hearing.

This l think is enough
for one day.

Hey, Craig.

Hey.

Um, this is a surprise.

Me and Aaron broke up.

l'm sorry.

Are you okay?

Uh, yeah. Sorry. Um. . .

You must be
really loaded, huh?

Yeah. l'm pretty zonked.

So, you know
l've been thinking
about you non-stop

since we talked on
the phone the other day.

l've been thinking
about you a lot, too.

l woke up and my bed
was on fire!

What's wrong with that guy?

He's schizophrenic.

Weird.

Anyway,

it's like you told me
all this stuff about you
and you're really mature.

Not like everyone else
with their stupid
little problems.

l mean, you're really,
really screwed up.

l'm a mess.

But in a good way.
You know, in the way
that gives you

So you and Aaron broke up?

Okay, so l knoW l should
be thinking about NoeIIe,

and how I'm supposed to be
meeting her in 20 minutes.

But when you have
a reaIIy gorgeous
girI in front of you,

and you've been
obsessing over her
for two years,

and she's biting her Iip
and taIking Iow,
and you've got a boner,

what are you gonna do?

Do you want to see my room?

You haven't
finished that yet?

What?

Oh.

Yes, we have a lot of
activities here, so. . .

Takes up. . .

Me and Aaron never did
anything like this.

This was totally
on my checklist.

ls someone else in here?

l'm gonna be sick.

Sex!

Sex in my bed !

God, that's disgusting.

Children make
sex in my bed !

Craig, who is this?

Um, this is my
roommate, Muqtada.

Don't talk to her!

She try and
make sex in my bed !

Calm down. No one
was having sex, okay?

Woman is temptress! l know.

- What's wrong with you?
- Get out.

Uh, he's going
through a hard time.

No, you !
What's wrong with you?

l'm also going
through a hard time.

Um, you know what?
You should get some rest,

and l'll call you
tomorrow or something.

Nia. Nia, wait.

Wait. Nia.

l love you.

Just get better, Craig.

No, l mean. . .

Noelle.

Noelle, please.

l'm sorry l messed up.

l love your portrait.
lt's amazing.

l wish you'd open the door.

Are you okay?

Oh. Uh. . .

This is pretty cool, too.

So, our meeting tonight.

ls it safe to assume
that's not happening?

You've had it figured
out all along, Muqtada.

Never get out of the bed.

l got in.

ln what?

ln your mama.

Oh.

l got in the home.

That's great.

We missed you at breakfast.

ls this about this
whole Nia/Noelle fiasco?

How do you
know about that?

Solomon. That dude's
got sensitive hearing.

Look, it's not
just women, okay?

l can't do anything right.
My life's a mess.

No, my life is a mess.

Muqtada's life is a mess.
No offense, babe.

All good, papa.

Look, l happen
to like you, Craig.

You remind me of me
when l was your age.

l was much better looking,
and l didn't have as much
trouble with women. . .

Get back on track, man.

The point is, in 20 years,

if you're celebrating
your daughter's
eighth birthday

in a place like this,

l swear to God,

Muqtada and l are going
to kick your ass.

He not busy being born,

is busy dying.

You need to believe that.

This Bobby,

l think, very wise man.

By the way, l was just
coming in to tell you that

l'm not gonna be
homeless tomorrow.

l'm just saying.

And guess what?

lt's right next door
to the YMCA.

Yeah. So we can go swimming
in the swimming pool,

and maybe play
table tennis.

Ping-pong, yes.

lt's the same thing.

So listen, your mom will
bring you by on Saturday,

and we could have a feast.

There are so many people,
you know, not just
in this hospital,

but in the whole world,
who are struggling
so hard just to live.

And, it's like,
self-indulgent for me to
not appreciate what l have.

Like what?

Well, there's my family,
my home, and my friends.

And you know,
there's this.

l used to think art was just
bourgeois decadence, but. . .

lt's really wonderful, Craig.

Thanks. Um. . .

Yeah, l've done
about 20 of them

and it's something
that l really enjoy.

What do you enjoy about it?

lt's fun.

And it takes my mind
off the things
that stress me out.

You gonna continue it
when you leave?

Yeah.

Or, l think.
But my dad might freak.

Have you told him
how you feel?

Not yet.

But you will?

l think so.

Thank you.

lt's my last
night tonight, Smitty.

lt is your
last night, Craig.

l hate to break it to you,
Craig, but l think
l'm really gonna miss you.

Well, it's Bobby's
last night, too,

so l was wondering if we
could have a pizza party.

Yes, we can.
Yeah. Do you have the money?
lf you can get the money.

Yeah, no, l'll have
the money. Yeah, l. . .

You have records
you could bring?

Hey, um, thanks for coming.

l just wanted to say,
l'm really sorry about
what happened yesterday.

That girl l was with,
she's my best
friend's girlfriend.

l've been obsessed
with her forever and. . .

And you're
in love with her?

No.

Well, of course not.
But you think she's hot,

so you told her what you
thought she'd want to hear.

And now you're going to
do the same thing to me.

No, l'm not.

You're not?

Look, um,
l do think you're hot.

And l do want to say
the right thing,

but that's only
because l really like you.

l like how you don't
hide your problems
like everyone else.

And l feel like l don't
have to hide mine
when l'm around you.

You know, l've been thinking
about it a lot recently,

and l've realized that

if you're not busy being born,
you're busy dying.

And l, for one,
think that we could
both benefit from

being born, again.

Not being born again,
but you know what l mean?

Gee, thanks for
the wisdom, Bob.

What? He told you that, too?

Who?
Bobby.

Yeah, me and about
a billion other people.

Bob Dylan.

lt's the song
you just quoted.

What? No.
Yes.

Oh.

Anyway, my point is

l want to play
doctor with you.

This is awesome.

So, how come you
never asked me why?

Why what?

l guess l just
assumed you'd tell me
when you wanted me to know.

Thanks.

Do you like music?

Do you like breathing?

That's right.
lt was a dumb question.

l like. . . l like
Radiohead a lot,
the Pixies, T. Rex.

Oh, what else?

Have you seen them live?

l saw Radiohead
and the Pixies once.

Cool.

So, uh. . .

You know, Vampire Weekend's
doing a show at the end
of the month.

Would you want to go?

Yes, l would.

With you, right?

No, with Solomon.

Yeah, with me.

Sorry guys. Um...

This is about to
get pretty sappy,

so I'm just gonna
give you the highIights.

This is me sharing
the realization that

I don't actuaIIy want to be
a CEO, laWyer, or President.

This is Noelle,

Iaughing at the idea
that l once wanted
to be President.

Here, NoeIIe suggests
l "screw"

the Gates Summer application
if it makes me so unhappy.

This is me
Iiking that idea.

This is me thinking about
how to teII my dad.

This is after l tell Noelle
how beautiful l think she is.

Okay, just have them
send the delivery guy
to the third floor.

3 North.

No problem, sport.
You got it.

Thanks, Dad.
Sure.

Yeah, l'll see you
and Mom tomorrow.

I'II see you then.

Okay, bye.
Bye.

Hey, Muqtada.

Hello?
Hey, man.

l could really use a favor.

Hey, found it.

l so appreciate this.

Yeah, no problem.

Look, man, l'm sorry
l was a bitch to you.

l'm sorry
l tried to make out
with your girlfriend.

How are things with Nia?

Um, we're gonna try
and work through it.

Good.

You know, l might
hide it pretty well, but,

l mean, l get that depression
stuff, too, sometimes.

Yeah?

Don't kill yourself, okay?

l won't.

Seriously.

Thanks.

l'll call you tomorrow,
all right?

Yeah, you will.

Hey, um. . .

Did you really try
to make out with Nia?

Dick.

Pizza's getting cold.
What's up?

l'm tired, man.

Think l'll skip out
on the pizza shin-dig.

Pack up.

Ah, vacation's over.

Yes, back to work.

You got a job?
No.

Well, congratulations
on your home.

Thanks.

You know, l used that
Dylan line on Noelle.

How'd it go?

Good. We're gonna
hang out soon.

Yeah?
Maybe see some music.

Good.

Here.

lt's you.

Yikes. lt's a mess
in there, man.

Oh, it's not such a mess.

lt's just
undergoing renovations.

Look, l wrote
my number on the back.

We should get
together sometime,
play some table tennis.

Sure.

Cool. Well, l'll see you
tomorrow at breakfast.

Good luck, Craig.

Not that you
need it, but. . .

Thanks. You, too, babe.

Hey, come on.

Trust me.

l gotta dance.

Excuse me?

l like this.

l like this. Yeah !

Look.

So long, buddy.

You should
probably stay longer.

You might lose it
on the outside.

Um, l'll take my chances.

lt'll come to you !

Okay, l knoW you're
thinking, "What is this?

"Kid spends a few days
in the hospitaI

"and aII his probIems
are cured?"

But l'm not.
l know l'm not.

l can tell this is
just the beginning.

l still need to face
my homework, my schooI,
my friends.

My dad.

Hello, Smitty.
Hey, hey.

Thanks for everything.
Yeah.

Sure. You're very
welcome, sir.

Have you seen Bobby around?

Yeah, Bobby left
pretty early this morning.

But the difference between
today and last Saturday

is that for
the first time in a While,

l can look forward
to the things
I want to do in my Iife.

How you feeling?

l feel like. . .

Like l can handle it.

Bike, eat, drink, talk.

Ride the subway,
read, read maps.

Make maps, make art.

Finish the Gates application.

TeII my dad not
to stress about it.

Hug my mom.
Kiss my IittIe sister.

Kiss my dad.

Make out with Noelle.

Make out with her more.

Take her on a picnic.
See a movie with her.

See a movie with Aaron.
Heck, see a movie With Nia.

Have a party.
TeII peopIe my story.
Volunteer at 3 North.

HeIp peopIe Iike Bobby.

Like Muqtada.

Like me.

Draw more. Draw a person.
Draw a naked person.

Draw Noelle naked.

Run, traveI, swim, skip.

Yeah, I knoW it's lame,
but, Whatever.

Skip anyWay.

Breathe.

Live.