It's Just a Game (2017) - full transcript
- Psst!
Ryan, what is so important
that you have to be interrupting
my super cool hand signals?
- I think they have a sniper on him.
- It's not called a sniper.
It's the megadart blaster.
- What, what?
- Get down!
You just shot me in the eye.
- I thought we said no head shots.
- No, we just said try not
to hit anyone in the head.
We didn't say it doesn't count.
- When did we say that?
- We never said that.
- Yeah we did, didn't we, Taylor?
- Yeah.
- That totally counts.
- Are you kidding me?
It was clearly an eye shot.
- Hey.
- Hey!
- I'm so angry right now.
- Hold me back, someone hold me back.
- Hey!
It's Ryan's birthday, so he gets to decide
if head shots count.
- Head shots
count.
- Oh, man.
- Idiot.
- Look, it's only because
I want it to count
if we shoot them, right?
We want it to count, 'cause
then they'll be out, too.
- Everybody just go back to your forts,
we'll pretend we didn't see you.
- But you did.
- We'll just pretend that we didn't.
- But you did.
- Go.
- Come on, come on.
- Oh my God, are you okay?
- Shoot over that way,
shoot over that way.
Come on, keep going.
- Take that.
- Justice, justice, justice.
Justice, justice.
- Incoming!
- Justice.
Everybody get out of the way!
- Everybody run.
- Where are they?
- Uh oh.
- They're going to take the fort.
Come on, go, go, go.
- Justice.
Justice.
- No!
- Susie, come on, leave him,
we don't have time, let's go.
Justice.
- Whoever gets the tractor gets the fort.
Justice.
Ryan, get to the fort.
Come on, let's go, move it.
- The General's coming.
- Guys, we're good.
The General's coming.
- Higher.
Higher.
Higher.
Higher.
Higher.
That's it?
Now go turn yourself in.
- General, there are too many.
They're taking over the territory.
- Guns.
You two.
- Yes, sir.
- Come with me.
- Yes, sir.
What are you doing?
- Going to fight like you said, sir.
- Don't take the stairs, just jump.
It looks more intimidating and cool.
- Sir, yes sir.
For justice!
- Let's go, private.
- I was just gonna go down the steps.
- There's no time!
- No, it just takes like two seconds.
- Watch it, dude.
- It'll look super cool, just jump.
- No.
- Jump.
- See, that wasn't that hard.
- That wasn't hard.
- All right, come with me.
- General, he's coming.
- Bang, bang, bang, bang.
Hello, goodbye.
Blocked, shot in the stomach.
Put that down.
Over the banister.
Ha ha, done got thrown, rude.
Ricochet!
Let's see who's upstairs.
Oh, hello.
Okay, head shot.
Bippity boppity, dropkick.
Final shot.
Shh, I'm scary.
Super scary.
- So how long you think this'll last?
- What, are you scared or something?
- No, I'm just curious.
- That can't be our concern right now.
We have to locate the enemy
sniper and his spotters
so we can take back the territory.
- That sounds like a pretty scary job.
Are you sure you're up,
- Get to cover, get to cover.
Okay, they're gonna be looking for us now
so get ready for some heavy fire.
Cover my six and I'll take the front.
Stay low to the ground
so they can't hit you.
I have an extra mag in my boot
and in my vest if you need it.
Okay, ready?
On three.
I have to do everything myself.
- Don't move, don't even think about it.
- Don't even move.
Put the gun down slowly.
- Put your guns on the
ground nice and slowly.
- He's gonna shoot, light him up.
- Oh my God, that was so cool.
Justice.
- Who is that?
- Yeah, last week my Big Wheels
was having some suspension problems.
Gotta take it into the shop.
You think we should look up?
- No, I don't think we need to look up.
I think we're fine.
What are the chances
that someone would be.
- What are you doing?
- I guess you're right.
Hail Taylor.
- Hail Taylor.
- I guess you're right, it
never hurts to look, right?
- It doesn't hurt to look,
but it might hurt to look up.
- Last week I went downstairs.
- Hey!
Hey!
- Oh, she's coming right at me.
- Oh, hey Ryan, Happy Birthday.
- Taylor!
Taylor.
You get down here and fight me right now.
- What reason do I have to
come down there and fight you?
I already have your fort.
- Because.
- Because you think you
deserve a fighting chance?
Because I cheated?
Maybe you thought you could
convince me to give it up.
- No, because if you
don't, you're a chicken.
Taylor, Taylor, Taylor.
- Get him, get him!
- Ow, ow, ow.
I shot you.
- You barely even grazed me.
- Ow.
- I hit you.
- No you didn't.
- Yes I did, I saw it.
Nuh-uh.
Missed me.
Uh oh.
- How's the hiding going?
- I'm not hiding, I'm planning.
- Well, it sure looks like you're hiding.
- Hiding and planning look very similar.
- Well, what are you planning?
- I'm planning on how to save the General.
- You know that's not his real name.
- But I don't have a gun, so I can't.
- Are you scared of them?
- No, I'm not scared.
- Well if you were, I'd say don't be,
because it's just a game.
- Yeah, I didn't even wanna play that.
I wanted to play cards.
They started it 'cause
cards got too boring.
- That's so stupid, cards are so fun.
- Yeah.
Stop looking at my boot.
Hey, that's my knife.
- It's mine now.
- Knife throw.
No, he caught the knife.
That was so stupid!
I should have thrown it
overhand but I threw it under.
Now he caught it.
Now he's running at me.
Better punch him, ow.
- Justice!
That's just like you, you big cheater.
- I don't know what you're talking about.
- Of course you don't.
This is exactly why you got
kicked off the kickball team.
- So, how about we just lose this game
and then go play cards?
- You want us to lose?
- I don't want to lose, but I
never win these games anyway,
so it's easier to just
lose and then move on.
- That's a bummer.
- Well, it's not like we
could win anyway, right?
- We could have been the best, man.
We could have ruled the playground,
but you wouldn't play fair.
We could have played fair.
We were good enough to play fair.
Stop talking.
- That's why you got kicked off.
- No, you kicked me off.
You told everyone about the cheating!
No one had to know.
You ruined it for everyone.
You know what I do now?
I play tag, tag, and do you know why?
Because they don't care who
cheats and who plays fair.
- Give me your gun.
- Why?
- I'm gonna save the General,
and I'm gonna end this whole thing.
- But even if you get the General,
there's no way we can win this.
- No, but I know someone who can.
- Who's left on your team?
- Nobody, but this guy doesn't do teams.
It would have to be a personal favor.
- Well if you trust him, I trust him.
- Bye.
- Bye.
What are you doing?
All the other kids are gonna
think I gave you cooties.
- For you, I'll take cooties any day.
- You thought I was the chicken.
Now look at you.
Who's the chicken now?
- You cheated.
- Did anyone else see me cheat?
- No.
- So I guess it's just
your word against ours.
- You will pay for this.
- Oh lighten up, it's just a game.
- Well, you take all the fun out of it.
- Well you need to say goodbye.
Hey Ryan, happy birthday.
- Thanks.
- You having fun?
- Well, I wanted to play cards.
- You know, after this I'm sure
we'd all love to play cards.
But we have some business
to take care of first.
- Yeah well, so do we.
- You're telling me that the two of you
are gonna take down all of us
when we all have blasters pointed at you,
and you have one pointed at me?
- My plan was just to
roll right out of here.
- And how are you gonna do that?
- We're gonna do it on three.
- Hey kids, how's the game going?
Good.
- Three.
Mom, can you go back to the
kitchen, please and thank you.
- Get them!
- Do not hit me, I'm not in this game.
If you hit me, you don't get any cake.
- Excuse me.
Well, you know.
Oh wow, did you guys see these flowers?
Wow, look at these flowers.
I'm just gonna take
this into the laundry room,
and then we'll play pin
the tail on the donkey
and have cake and presents.
- Surround the kitchen.
- Bye boys, have fun.
- Wow, we did not get far.
- I mean, we're only like a door down.
I'm surprised they
haven't found us by now.
- Just look around, they
couldn't be to the left,
I already checked the left.
- All right, you go.
- What?
- Go in.
I'm not going in, you go.
- It's dark in there.
- You said this was our
only chance of winning.
- Yeah, but I mean.
- So?
- It's my birthday.
- Fine.
But on my birthday, you're going first.
He said we're not allowed in there.
Maybe you can talk to him.
- Yeah, so much for you going first.
- Hey.
Hey!
Look, you know I wouldn't
be here if it wasn't,
- Give up.
- What?
- They're coming for you, right?
You just gotta give up.
- But if I give up now,
everything we did will be for nothing.
- Look Ryan.
That's the,
what happened to your glasses?
- I lost them.
- Mom's not gonna be happy.
Look, I'm gonna tell you the same thing
I told the other guy.
You're gonna go out there,
you're gonna either give up
or get shot and you're gonna play again.
And you might win, but you might lose.
It doesn't really matter,
'cause it's just a game.
No one cares, okay?
It's not real, and I am way too busy
to help you with your stupid game.
- You take the fun out of
everything, do you know that?
- Yeah, that's the point, Ryan.
It's not fun anymore.
- When's the last time
we did anything together
or we teamed up or you stuck
your neck out for me, huh?
- Probably when you were five.
You wanted to be Captain Underpants
and so we tied a red
towel around your neck
and you ran around the
house in your underwear.
- That's stupid.
- But Captain Underpants
only shoots underwear,
so I got all the tighty
whities out of my drawer
and I strapped 'em on you any way I could,
and you looked ridiculous.
That doesn't count, I was five.
- It made you happy.
It made you very, very happy.
So that's probably the last time.
- Justice!
- Grenade!
- Wait, wait, wait.
Is it nine feet or 10 feet?
- It's 10 feet.
- Either way, I'm good.
- I gotta count it.
Five, six, seven, eight, nine, 10.
Yeah, you're in 10 feet.
- Ah, dang it.
- Do you know it's my birthday today?
- Yeah, yeah I did.
I got you something.
Happy birthday.
- This isn't a birthday present.
- Yeah, but it'll help
you with your thing.
Just go out there and
do what you gotta do.
- There's one dart in this.
- Make it count.
- You piece of
- Hit.
- Sir, she's getting too many of us.
- Cody, find that sniper now.
- What did you just say to me?
- You heard me.
- You can't say that!
I'm gonna tell mom.
- You know, all I wanted to do was be you.
I wanted to be as big as
you and strong as you,
and as smart and fast, and I
wanted to say the same jokes
and have the same ideas as you.
I wanted the same friends.
But now I don't wanna
be anything like you.
- Yeah well, when you grow
up you won't have to be me.
What are you doing?
- I'm gonna shoot you.
- Don't do that.
- Why not?
- Don't do that, I don't
have to have a reason.
Don't shoot me, I don't
have to have a reason.
- Because you wanna play, and
if I shoot you, you'll be out.
- Wow, oh no, yeah.
That's it, that's what it is.
You got it, I want to play the game.
Okay, yeah, no.
You're gonna shoot me in the eye.
- Nope, I'm aiming right at
your chest and you know it.
- Oh my God, Ryan, I swear.
Ryan, I swear if you shoot me.
- You know, you sit here
on your stupid computer
doing who knows what,
and you have nothing to be grouchy about.
- Ryan, I swear if you,
- Are you kidding?
Are you serious?
You just caught it and
it was freaking amazing,
and you don't want to play the game?
Are you kidding me?
- I can't, Ryan.
- Are you smoking a Nerf dart?
- I've hurt too many people.
I've lost too many darts.
- Did you just make that
sound with your mouth?
- I can't start your game, Ryan,
'cause I never finished mine.
I started a game seven years
ago and I never left it.
All we had to do was tag
everyone out on the other team.
I had never done that well
in those sorts of games,
but on that day, with those people,
we were doing great.
- All right, they have
those cookies up there,
and we're the blue team.
The yellow team may have numbers.
They may have the skills,
but you know what we have?
We have teamwork, and I
believe in all of you.
All right, you go to the right, stay low.
You, take the left and cover us.
Let's go!
- We were this close to winning.
I'd never been so
excited in my whole life.
- Go, go, go.
Then towards
the end of the game.
- Break formation, go, go, go.
- They started catching up to us.
I couldn't even fathom the
idea of losing at that point.
By the end of the game it was two on two.
Me and Noah, and Chris and Dalton.
We were in the big room,
just like you guys.
Same place, same everything.
- Come on, let's go.
The game was almost over.
Then Chris shot Noah
and that just left me.
I don't know what happened,
and I don't know why,
but I didn't get out.
He shot me right when the bell
rang, and I didn't get out.
That's when mom called dinner.
- Come on dude, call your shot.
- You didn't hit, the bell
rang, you didn't hit me.
Dinner always ends the game.
They shot me right here in
the hip, and everyone saw it,
Chris, Dalton, Noah.
They never talked to me again.
I never played another game.
It doesn't count, it was the
bell, dinner ends the game.
My game's not over.
Dinner ends the game.
Because I didn't call my hit.
Guys, come on, dinner ends the game.
Also, Carly broke up with me.
- I don't wanna talk about girls.
- See, you don't even know how to respond
to something like that.
- I like a girl.
- Great, good luck.
- She's probably been captured by now.
- You wanna go save her, don't you?
- No.
- Well, why didn't you start with that?
- I don't, it's not about,
I don't want to save her.
- Ryan, if there's one
thing a brother's good for,
it's embarrassing his younger brother
in front of his girlfriend.
- Oh, she's not, she's not my girlfriend.
- Yet.
- How are we gonna take
'em out with one gun
that has no bullets?
- You leave that to me.
- You know, if anyone asks,
I'm just trying to help
you finish your game thing.
It's not about a girl or anything.
- Nice shirt.
- Thanks, it's yours.
- What?
- I got it out of your drawer.
- Let's go.
- Well.
Well, well, well.
Looks like your walk
right out of there plan
didn't work so great, did it?
- He's coming!
- Get him guys, go.
- Freeze.
- Sorry, oh.
Stop blocking me.
Sorry Nathan, oh God.
Oops.
Sorry.
Sorry.
- Keep it up, you're getting it, man.
You got it.
- Why didn't you go with the General?
- Because my hands are still tied.
- You know you're not
actually tied up, right?
- Ryan, everyone knows
that you can't leave
unless somebody comes over
to you and goes like that,
so you have to come over
to me and go like that,
otherwise my hands are still tied.
- Fine.
You're free, let's go.
Sorry.
- Whatchya guys looking at?
- Drop the weapon, drop
the weapon right now.
Get on the ground.
Drop the axe.
- Gotchya.
- I'm gonna get Taylor,
you get the sniper.
- Sorry.
Susie.
- I got you, too.
Where's my axe?
Where is it?
Oh, I got it, you're dead.
- I have been hit.
Taylor, if you're out there, just know,
why did I come here to
this birthday party?
I don't even like cake.
- Get him already.
Watch my elbow when
you're using that thing.
- Somebody, anybody, you
should know my story.
Tell it, because this is
the story of a soldier,
a brave nine year old who
fought valiantly for everyone.
He was a good man, but 'twas
beauty that killed the beast.
- Oh, don't be such a baby.
It's not even a real sword, Cody.
My arm has been broken.
Yes, hello?
Yes, freeze the assets.
Liquidate the stocks.
Yes, just do it.
I heard my mommy say it once.
Oh, call out her life insurance.
Probability, I think that's what she said.
- Unbelievable, he had a machine gun
and got hit by a sword.
What the heck?
He had a machine gun and he missed.
- Hey, stop.
- Slow down.
- You can say that all day.
- Slow down.
Stop it, Taylor.
- I said it once and I said it
twice, come and get me then.
Stop, Taylor.
- You take the fun out of everything.
- For nine years I survived.
I was enlisted at the age of seven.
To die is a shame, you
hear that out there?
A shame, but to die by a big kid
is where the glory comes in.
I will live on forever
in the hearts of my fans.
- Huh.
Ryan.
Oh, I need the axe.
Are you serious?
It's stuck in his body.
- Susie, get up.
Get up.
Ryan.
Ryan, get out here.
- Hey Ryan, happy birthday.
- We did this already, give me Susie.
- You expect me to cower at the mercy
of that pathetic little sword?
That little piece of plastic
couldn't even reach me.
- You know, since it's your birthday,
I'm gonna take you out first.
I don't want you to have
to watch your girl lose.
Nothing against you, it's
just how the game goes.
- You must be the one
everyone's afraid of.
And you, you must be the one
no one seems to be able to kill.
- I could say the same for you.
- Oh man, this is good.
Such a proper ending to such a good day.
- You ruined it, kid.
- The name's Taylor.
- Well Taylor, how many
times did people get out?
And how many times did you get shot?
And how many times did you,
- Look man,
it's gonna be over in about two seconds
because when my sniper shoots that rocket,
you two are gonna go boom,
bam, and I'm gonna shoot her
and it's gonna be over,
and then we're gonna play
again and again and again.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Looks like we've got a brave little girl.
Looks like someone's trying
to impress a certain somebody.
- We've got you completely surrounded.
How do you expect to get out of this?
- Oh, I'm sorry, did you not just hear me?
I'm pretty sure I just
said I have a sniper
sitting right over there.
- Drop him, Susie.
- He's got a sniper on you.
- Drop him right now.
- Drop him Susie, put a
dart in his head, Susie.
Oh my gosh.
You guys are so uptight.
Do you guys hear yourselves?
I'm just trying to play the game.
You all are the ones making
such a big deal out of all this.
- Let me ask you something.
Do you even know what
it's like not to cheat?
Do you even know what it's
like to play a game fair?
Have you ever even done that?
Have you even won a game fair and square?
- Oh, shut up.
You shut up right now
with that fair game bull.
There's not a single shot
you've counted on your body.
- I took your men out
the same way you did.
- Uh uh, no, no, no.
My men did most of the
work you see here today.
They overpowered the mighty General's team
on their own, fair and square.
- Yeah, but you didn't.
- Neither did you, and
why are all of my men
laying on the ground
when I know for a fact
that a decent amount put a dart in you.
- Yeah, well they're out now.
- Ryan, shut up.
- But most of them would be
in if it weren't for him.
Some might argue that the game's
not so close to being over.
We might have a full-on redo in our midst.
- Everyone get back, get back right now.
- All right, time to end this thing.
Just pull back nice and slow,
that way no jams at all.
I can take you out easy.
Just take your time, relax.
I'm the only here right now.
Can't even see me.
No one is getting in the way of this.
You got shot!
- Is that the Spider Man gun?
- Yeah, I just picked it up over there.
I don't know, I didn't
have one, so I figured.
- Dude, that is awesome.
- Really?
I wasn't sure if it looked dumb at first.
- No dude, that looks so cool.
- All right, cool.
- I'm hit, okay?
Is that what you want?
We want you to bring us back.
- Yeah bring us back, you
weren't even in the game.
- Looks like I don't
need a sniper after all.
- Look, I don't want this
to become a big deal.
Let's just give up and do something else.
It's okay.
- You think I'm not in the game?
I've been in the game for seven years.
I started this game the
same way I'm gonna leave it,
a cheater and a coward.
- Leave what?
- You don't wanna be like me, do you?
Look at this kid.
Look at him right now.
He's laying on the ground
like the rest of you were,
because that's what he
had to do to win the game.
That's what you have to
do to play the game fair,
and you guys knew that.
This isn't a water ballon fight.
You don't get to just
get as wet as you want
and keep playing.
You guys all fell and followed the rules,
because that's what you had to do.
- It's over.
You cheated, just like me,
except you cheated on the wrong side.
- Look, seriously, just let them win.
- They don't care about winning.
They care about justice.
These aren't bad men, they
just have a bad leader.
- That's a little dramatic.
How do we give them justice?
- End this, Ryan.
- What?
- It counts!
- What?
- Every shot I've ever
taken, it all counts.
- Who shot that?
- I didn't shoot it, did you shoot it?
- Was it you?
- No.
- That's one depressing
way to end the game.
Dinner's ready boys, dig in.
You're next.
- Forget this, I'm not gonna shoot him.
- Yeah man, this is too serious.
- Hey genius, you have to
shoot the blaster, not drop it.
What are you waiting for?
Shoot him.
- This isn't what we wanted.
It's not fun anymore.
- What?
Yes it is, that's the
whole point of the game,
to shoot the other team.
Now shoot him.
- Nuh uh, the point of
the game is to have fun.
I don't wanna play if not
everyone's having fun.
- Yeah, he's not looking
like he has too much fun,
and it's kinda his birthday.
- So what, you just wanna call it a tie?
I'll die before I let that happen.
- I'm sorry, I really
didn't know he was cheating.
- Stand back up.
Fight him, you idiots.
Shoot him right now.
How could you be so stupid?
- Looks like you changed their minds.
Relax man, it's just a game.
- That was pretty cool.
- That was amazing.
You had an ax and it was like shim, sham.
- Hey, you guys are dead.
- Hey, you guys brought the chopper.
I'll see you later.
- So this is it?
- No, this isn't it.
This is just the end of the game.
But I'll be back.
- Was it worth it?
Coming back into the game?
- Ryan, I didn't never want to not
come back into the game.
I just never had a reason to.
You guys gave me that reason.
- When will you play again?
- When you need me again.
- Let's do it, let's go.
Hey, Taylor.
- Happy birthday, dude.
Susie, Susie, Susie.
- So, do you wanna play cards?
- Nah, let's play again.
Ryan, what is so important
that you have to be interrupting
my super cool hand signals?
- I think they have a sniper on him.
- It's not called a sniper.
It's the megadart blaster.
- What, what?
- Get down!
You just shot me in the eye.
- I thought we said no head shots.
- No, we just said try not
to hit anyone in the head.
We didn't say it doesn't count.
- When did we say that?
- We never said that.
- Yeah we did, didn't we, Taylor?
- Yeah.
- That totally counts.
- Are you kidding me?
It was clearly an eye shot.
- Hey.
- Hey!
- I'm so angry right now.
- Hold me back, someone hold me back.
- Hey!
It's Ryan's birthday, so he gets to decide
if head shots count.
- Head shots
count.
- Oh, man.
- Idiot.
- Look, it's only because
I want it to count
if we shoot them, right?
We want it to count, 'cause
then they'll be out, too.
- Everybody just go back to your forts,
we'll pretend we didn't see you.
- But you did.
- We'll just pretend that we didn't.
- But you did.
- Go.
- Come on, come on.
- Oh my God, are you okay?
- Shoot over that way,
shoot over that way.
Come on, keep going.
- Take that.
- Justice, justice, justice.
Justice, justice.
- Incoming!
- Justice.
Everybody get out of the way!
- Everybody run.
- Where are they?
- Uh oh.
- They're going to take the fort.
Come on, go, go, go.
- Justice.
Justice.
- No!
- Susie, come on, leave him,
we don't have time, let's go.
Justice.
- Whoever gets the tractor gets the fort.
Justice.
Ryan, get to the fort.
Come on, let's go, move it.
- The General's coming.
- Guys, we're good.
The General's coming.
- Higher.
Higher.
Higher.
Higher.
Higher.
That's it?
Now go turn yourself in.
- General, there are too many.
They're taking over the territory.
- Guns.
You two.
- Yes, sir.
- Come with me.
- Yes, sir.
What are you doing?
- Going to fight like you said, sir.
- Don't take the stairs, just jump.
It looks more intimidating and cool.
- Sir, yes sir.
For justice!
- Let's go, private.
- I was just gonna go down the steps.
- There's no time!
- No, it just takes like two seconds.
- Watch it, dude.
- It'll look super cool, just jump.
- No.
- Jump.
- See, that wasn't that hard.
- That wasn't hard.
- All right, come with me.
- General, he's coming.
- Bang, bang, bang, bang.
Hello, goodbye.
Blocked, shot in the stomach.
Put that down.
Over the banister.
Ha ha, done got thrown, rude.
Ricochet!
Let's see who's upstairs.
Oh, hello.
Okay, head shot.
Bippity boppity, dropkick.
Final shot.
Shh, I'm scary.
Super scary.
- So how long you think this'll last?
- What, are you scared or something?
- No, I'm just curious.
- That can't be our concern right now.
We have to locate the enemy
sniper and his spotters
so we can take back the territory.
- That sounds like a pretty scary job.
Are you sure you're up,
- Get to cover, get to cover.
Okay, they're gonna be looking for us now
so get ready for some heavy fire.
Cover my six and I'll take the front.
Stay low to the ground
so they can't hit you.
I have an extra mag in my boot
and in my vest if you need it.
Okay, ready?
On three.
I have to do everything myself.
- Don't move, don't even think about it.
- Don't even move.
Put the gun down slowly.
- Put your guns on the
ground nice and slowly.
- He's gonna shoot, light him up.
- Oh my God, that was so cool.
Justice.
- Who is that?
- Yeah, last week my Big Wheels
was having some suspension problems.
Gotta take it into the shop.
You think we should look up?
- No, I don't think we need to look up.
I think we're fine.
What are the chances
that someone would be.
- What are you doing?
- I guess you're right.
Hail Taylor.
- Hail Taylor.
- I guess you're right, it
never hurts to look, right?
- It doesn't hurt to look,
but it might hurt to look up.
- Last week I went downstairs.
- Hey!
Hey!
- Oh, she's coming right at me.
- Oh, hey Ryan, Happy Birthday.
- Taylor!
Taylor.
You get down here and fight me right now.
- What reason do I have to
come down there and fight you?
I already have your fort.
- Because.
- Because you think you
deserve a fighting chance?
Because I cheated?
Maybe you thought you could
convince me to give it up.
- No, because if you
don't, you're a chicken.
Taylor, Taylor, Taylor.
- Get him, get him!
- Ow, ow, ow.
I shot you.
- You barely even grazed me.
- Ow.
- I hit you.
- No you didn't.
- Yes I did, I saw it.
Nuh-uh.
Missed me.
Uh oh.
- How's the hiding going?
- I'm not hiding, I'm planning.
- Well, it sure looks like you're hiding.
- Hiding and planning look very similar.
- Well, what are you planning?
- I'm planning on how to save the General.
- You know that's not his real name.
- But I don't have a gun, so I can't.
- Are you scared of them?
- No, I'm not scared.
- Well if you were, I'd say don't be,
because it's just a game.
- Yeah, I didn't even wanna play that.
I wanted to play cards.
They started it 'cause
cards got too boring.
- That's so stupid, cards are so fun.
- Yeah.
Stop looking at my boot.
Hey, that's my knife.
- It's mine now.
- Knife throw.
No, he caught the knife.
That was so stupid!
I should have thrown it
overhand but I threw it under.
Now he caught it.
Now he's running at me.
Better punch him, ow.
- Justice!
That's just like you, you big cheater.
- I don't know what you're talking about.
- Of course you don't.
This is exactly why you got
kicked off the kickball team.
- So, how about we just lose this game
and then go play cards?
- You want us to lose?
- I don't want to lose, but I
never win these games anyway,
so it's easier to just
lose and then move on.
- That's a bummer.
- Well, it's not like we
could win anyway, right?
- We could have been the best, man.
We could have ruled the playground,
but you wouldn't play fair.
We could have played fair.
We were good enough to play fair.
Stop talking.
- That's why you got kicked off.
- No, you kicked me off.
You told everyone about the cheating!
No one had to know.
You ruined it for everyone.
You know what I do now?
I play tag, tag, and do you know why?
Because they don't care who
cheats and who plays fair.
- Give me your gun.
- Why?
- I'm gonna save the General,
and I'm gonna end this whole thing.
- But even if you get the General,
there's no way we can win this.
- No, but I know someone who can.
- Who's left on your team?
- Nobody, but this guy doesn't do teams.
It would have to be a personal favor.
- Well if you trust him, I trust him.
- Bye.
- Bye.
What are you doing?
All the other kids are gonna
think I gave you cooties.
- For you, I'll take cooties any day.
- You thought I was the chicken.
Now look at you.
Who's the chicken now?
- You cheated.
- Did anyone else see me cheat?
- No.
- So I guess it's just
your word against ours.
- You will pay for this.
- Oh lighten up, it's just a game.
- Well, you take all the fun out of it.
- Well you need to say goodbye.
Hey Ryan, happy birthday.
- Thanks.
- You having fun?
- Well, I wanted to play cards.
- You know, after this I'm sure
we'd all love to play cards.
But we have some business
to take care of first.
- Yeah well, so do we.
- You're telling me that the two of you
are gonna take down all of us
when we all have blasters pointed at you,
and you have one pointed at me?
- My plan was just to
roll right out of here.
- And how are you gonna do that?
- We're gonna do it on three.
- Hey kids, how's the game going?
Good.
- Three.
Mom, can you go back to the
kitchen, please and thank you.
- Get them!
- Do not hit me, I'm not in this game.
If you hit me, you don't get any cake.
- Excuse me.
Well, you know.
Oh wow, did you guys see these flowers?
Wow, look at these flowers.
I'm just gonna take
this into the laundry room,
and then we'll play pin
the tail on the donkey
and have cake and presents.
- Surround the kitchen.
- Bye boys, have fun.
- Wow, we did not get far.
- I mean, we're only like a door down.
I'm surprised they
haven't found us by now.
- Just look around, they
couldn't be to the left,
I already checked the left.
- All right, you go.
- What?
- Go in.
I'm not going in, you go.
- It's dark in there.
- You said this was our
only chance of winning.
- Yeah, but I mean.
- So?
- It's my birthday.
- Fine.
But on my birthday, you're going first.
He said we're not allowed in there.
Maybe you can talk to him.
- Yeah, so much for you going first.
- Hey.
Hey!
Look, you know I wouldn't
be here if it wasn't,
- Give up.
- What?
- They're coming for you, right?
You just gotta give up.
- But if I give up now,
everything we did will be for nothing.
- Look Ryan.
That's the,
what happened to your glasses?
- I lost them.
- Mom's not gonna be happy.
Look, I'm gonna tell you the same thing
I told the other guy.
You're gonna go out there,
you're gonna either give up
or get shot and you're gonna play again.
And you might win, but you might lose.
It doesn't really matter,
'cause it's just a game.
No one cares, okay?
It's not real, and I am way too busy
to help you with your stupid game.
- You take the fun out of
everything, do you know that?
- Yeah, that's the point, Ryan.
It's not fun anymore.
- When's the last time
we did anything together
or we teamed up or you stuck
your neck out for me, huh?
- Probably when you were five.
You wanted to be Captain Underpants
and so we tied a red
towel around your neck
and you ran around the
house in your underwear.
- That's stupid.
- But Captain Underpants
only shoots underwear,
so I got all the tighty
whities out of my drawer
and I strapped 'em on you any way I could,
and you looked ridiculous.
That doesn't count, I was five.
- It made you happy.
It made you very, very happy.
So that's probably the last time.
- Justice!
- Grenade!
- Wait, wait, wait.
Is it nine feet or 10 feet?
- It's 10 feet.
- Either way, I'm good.
- I gotta count it.
Five, six, seven, eight, nine, 10.
Yeah, you're in 10 feet.
- Ah, dang it.
- Do you know it's my birthday today?
- Yeah, yeah I did.
I got you something.
Happy birthday.
- This isn't a birthday present.
- Yeah, but it'll help
you with your thing.
Just go out there and
do what you gotta do.
- There's one dart in this.
- Make it count.
- You piece of
- Hit.
- Sir, she's getting too many of us.
- Cody, find that sniper now.
- What did you just say to me?
- You heard me.
- You can't say that!
I'm gonna tell mom.
- You know, all I wanted to do was be you.
I wanted to be as big as
you and strong as you,
and as smart and fast, and I
wanted to say the same jokes
and have the same ideas as you.
I wanted the same friends.
But now I don't wanna
be anything like you.
- Yeah well, when you grow
up you won't have to be me.
What are you doing?
- I'm gonna shoot you.
- Don't do that.
- Why not?
- Don't do that, I don't
have to have a reason.
Don't shoot me, I don't
have to have a reason.
- Because you wanna play, and
if I shoot you, you'll be out.
- Wow, oh no, yeah.
That's it, that's what it is.
You got it, I want to play the game.
Okay, yeah, no.
You're gonna shoot me in the eye.
- Nope, I'm aiming right at
your chest and you know it.
- Oh my God, Ryan, I swear.
Ryan, I swear if you shoot me.
- You know, you sit here
on your stupid computer
doing who knows what,
and you have nothing to be grouchy about.
- Ryan, I swear if you,
- Are you kidding?
Are you serious?
You just caught it and
it was freaking amazing,
and you don't want to play the game?
Are you kidding me?
- I can't, Ryan.
- Are you smoking a Nerf dart?
- I've hurt too many people.
I've lost too many darts.
- Did you just make that
sound with your mouth?
- I can't start your game, Ryan,
'cause I never finished mine.
I started a game seven years
ago and I never left it.
All we had to do was tag
everyone out on the other team.
I had never done that well
in those sorts of games,
but on that day, with those people,
we were doing great.
- All right, they have
those cookies up there,
and we're the blue team.
The yellow team may have numbers.
They may have the skills,
but you know what we have?
We have teamwork, and I
believe in all of you.
All right, you go to the right, stay low.
You, take the left and cover us.
Let's go!
- We were this close to winning.
I'd never been so
excited in my whole life.
- Go, go, go.
Then towards
the end of the game.
- Break formation, go, go, go.
- They started catching up to us.
I couldn't even fathom the
idea of losing at that point.
By the end of the game it was two on two.
Me and Noah, and Chris and Dalton.
We were in the big room,
just like you guys.
Same place, same everything.
- Come on, let's go.
The game was almost over.
Then Chris shot Noah
and that just left me.
I don't know what happened,
and I don't know why,
but I didn't get out.
He shot me right when the bell
rang, and I didn't get out.
That's when mom called dinner.
- Come on dude, call your shot.
- You didn't hit, the bell
rang, you didn't hit me.
Dinner always ends the game.
They shot me right here in
the hip, and everyone saw it,
Chris, Dalton, Noah.
They never talked to me again.
I never played another game.
It doesn't count, it was the
bell, dinner ends the game.
My game's not over.
Dinner ends the game.
Because I didn't call my hit.
Guys, come on, dinner ends the game.
Also, Carly broke up with me.
- I don't wanna talk about girls.
- See, you don't even know how to respond
to something like that.
- I like a girl.
- Great, good luck.
- She's probably been captured by now.
- You wanna go save her, don't you?
- No.
- Well, why didn't you start with that?
- I don't, it's not about,
I don't want to save her.
- Ryan, if there's one
thing a brother's good for,
it's embarrassing his younger brother
in front of his girlfriend.
- Oh, she's not, she's not my girlfriend.
- Yet.
- How are we gonna take
'em out with one gun
that has no bullets?
- You leave that to me.
- You know, if anyone asks,
I'm just trying to help
you finish your game thing.
It's not about a girl or anything.
- Nice shirt.
- Thanks, it's yours.
- What?
- I got it out of your drawer.
- Let's go.
- Well.
Well, well, well.
Looks like your walk
right out of there plan
didn't work so great, did it?
- He's coming!
- Get him guys, go.
- Freeze.
- Sorry, oh.
Stop blocking me.
Sorry Nathan, oh God.
Oops.
Sorry.
Sorry.
- Keep it up, you're getting it, man.
You got it.
- Why didn't you go with the General?
- Because my hands are still tied.
- You know you're not
actually tied up, right?
- Ryan, everyone knows
that you can't leave
unless somebody comes over
to you and goes like that,
so you have to come over
to me and go like that,
otherwise my hands are still tied.
- Fine.
You're free, let's go.
Sorry.
- Whatchya guys looking at?
- Drop the weapon, drop
the weapon right now.
Get on the ground.
Drop the axe.
- Gotchya.
- I'm gonna get Taylor,
you get the sniper.
- Sorry.
Susie.
- I got you, too.
Where's my axe?
Where is it?
Oh, I got it, you're dead.
- I have been hit.
Taylor, if you're out there, just know,
why did I come here to
this birthday party?
I don't even like cake.
- Get him already.
Watch my elbow when
you're using that thing.
- Somebody, anybody, you
should know my story.
Tell it, because this is
the story of a soldier,
a brave nine year old who
fought valiantly for everyone.
He was a good man, but 'twas
beauty that killed the beast.
- Oh, don't be such a baby.
It's not even a real sword, Cody.
My arm has been broken.
Yes, hello?
Yes, freeze the assets.
Liquidate the stocks.
Yes, just do it.
I heard my mommy say it once.
Oh, call out her life insurance.
Probability, I think that's what she said.
- Unbelievable, he had a machine gun
and got hit by a sword.
What the heck?
He had a machine gun and he missed.
- Hey, stop.
- Slow down.
- You can say that all day.
- Slow down.
Stop it, Taylor.
- I said it once and I said it
twice, come and get me then.
Stop, Taylor.
- You take the fun out of everything.
- For nine years I survived.
I was enlisted at the age of seven.
To die is a shame, you
hear that out there?
A shame, but to die by a big kid
is where the glory comes in.
I will live on forever
in the hearts of my fans.
- Huh.
Ryan.
Oh, I need the axe.
Are you serious?
It's stuck in his body.
- Susie, get up.
Get up.
Ryan.
Ryan, get out here.
- Hey Ryan, happy birthday.
- We did this already, give me Susie.
- You expect me to cower at the mercy
of that pathetic little sword?
That little piece of plastic
couldn't even reach me.
- You know, since it's your birthday,
I'm gonna take you out first.
I don't want you to have
to watch your girl lose.
Nothing against you, it's
just how the game goes.
- You must be the one
everyone's afraid of.
And you, you must be the one
no one seems to be able to kill.
- I could say the same for you.
- Oh man, this is good.
Such a proper ending to such a good day.
- You ruined it, kid.
- The name's Taylor.
- Well Taylor, how many
times did people get out?
And how many times did you get shot?
And how many times did you,
- Look man,
it's gonna be over in about two seconds
because when my sniper shoots that rocket,
you two are gonna go boom,
bam, and I'm gonna shoot her
and it's gonna be over,
and then we're gonna play
again and again and again.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Looks like we've got a brave little girl.
Looks like someone's trying
to impress a certain somebody.
- We've got you completely surrounded.
How do you expect to get out of this?
- Oh, I'm sorry, did you not just hear me?
I'm pretty sure I just
said I have a sniper
sitting right over there.
- Drop him, Susie.
- He's got a sniper on you.
- Drop him right now.
- Drop him Susie, put a
dart in his head, Susie.
Oh my gosh.
You guys are so uptight.
Do you guys hear yourselves?
I'm just trying to play the game.
You all are the ones making
such a big deal out of all this.
- Let me ask you something.
Do you even know what
it's like not to cheat?
Do you even know what it's
like to play a game fair?
Have you ever even done that?
Have you even won a game fair and square?
- Oh, shut up.
You shut up right now
with that fair game bull.
There's not a single shot
you've counted on your body.
- I took your men out
the same way you did.
- Uh uh, no, no, no.
My men did most of the
work you see here today.
They overpowered the mighty General's team
on their own, fair and square.
- Yeah, but you didn't.
- Neither did you, and
why are all of my men
laying on the ground
when I know for a fact
that a decent amount put a dart in you.
- Yeah, well they're out now.
- Ryan, shut up.
- But most of them would be
in if it weren't for him.
Some might argue that the game's
not so close to being over.
We might have a full-on redo in our midst.
- Everyone get back, get back right now.
- All right, time to end this thing.
Just pull back nice and slow,
that way no jams at all.
I can take you out easy.
Just take your time, relax.
I'm the only here right now.
Can't even see me.
No one is getting in the way of this.
You got shot!
- Is that the Spider Man gun?
- Yeah, I just picked it up over there.
I don't know, I didn't
have one, so I figured.
- Dude, that is awesome.
- Really?
I wasn't sure if it looked dumb at first.
- No dude, that looks so cool.
- All right, cool.
- I'm hit, okay?
Is that what you want?
We want you to bring us back.
- Yeah bring us back, you
weren't even in the game.
- Looks like I don't
need a sniper after all.
- Look, I don't want this
to become a big deal.
Let's just give up and do something else.
It's okay.
- You think I'm not in the game?
I've been in the game for seven years.
I started this game the
same way I'm gonna leave it,
a cheater and a coward.
- Leave what?
- You don't wanna be like me, do you?
Look at this kid.
Look at him right now.
He's laying on the ground
like the rest of you were,
because that's what he
had to do to win the game.
That's what you have to
do to play the game fair,
and you guys knew that.
This isn't a water ballon fight.
You don't get to just
get as wet as you want
and keep playing.
You guys all fell and followed the rules,
because that's what you had to do.
- It's over.
You cheated, just like me,
except you cheated on the wrong side.
- Look, seriously, just let them win.
- They don't care about winning.
They care about justice.
These aren't bad men, they
just have a bad leader.
- That's a little dramatic.
How do we give them justice?
- End this, Ryan.
- What?
- It counts!
- What?
- Every shot I've ever
taken, it all counts.
- Who shot that?
- I didn't shoot it, did you shoot it?
- Was it you?
- No.
- That's one depressing
way to end the game.
Dinner's ready boys, dig in.
You're next.
- Forget this, I'm not gonna shoot him.
- Yeah man, this is too serious.
- Hey genius, you have to
shoot the blaster, not drop it.
What are you waiting for?
Shoot him.
- This isn't what we wanted.
It's not fun anymore.
- What?
Yes it is, that's the
whole point of the game,
to shoot the other team.
Now shoot him.
- Nuh uh, the point of
the game is to have fun.
I don't wanna play if not
everyone's having fun.
- Yeah, he's not looking
like he has too much fun,
and it's kinda his birthday.
- So what, you just wanna call it a tie?
I'll die before I let that happen.
- I'm sorry, I really
didn't know he was cheating.
- Stand back up.
Fight him, you idiots.
Shoot him right now.
How could you be so stupid?
- Looks like you changed their minds.
Relax man, it's just a game.
- That was pretty cool.
- That was amazing.
You had an ax and it was like shim, sham.
- Hey, you guys are dead.
- Hey, you guys brought the chopper.
I'll see you later.
- So this is it?
- No, this isn't it.
This is just the end of the game.
But I'll be back.
- Was it worth it?
Coming back into the game?
- Ryan, I didn't never want to not
come back into the game.
I just never had a reason to.
You guys gave me that reason.
- When will you play again?
- When you need me again.
- Let's do it, let's go.
Hey, Taylor.
- Happy birthday, dude.
Susie, Susie, Susie.
- So, do you wanna play cards?
- Nah, let's play again.