Italiano medio (2015) - full transcript
A man tries a pill that reduces his brain activity. Using only 2% of his mind, he becomes the perfect "average Italian".
(narrator) In Italy it's just another
ordinary day of illegal developments.
The park in Cement Avenue
is going to be demolished .
Making the way
for the Upcoming Beautiful
The very last idea
of the most famous person in Italy
the businessman of beauty,
the manufacturer of taste.
Giancarlo Billboards!
What do you have to say to those who accuse you
of demolishing a park
to build
an elitarian neighbourhood?
These people
VIOLINS PLAYING
Excuse me, it's my live ringtone.
I'll switch to vibration.
IMITATION OF VIBRATION
Darling, these people
have no taste.
They are so miserable.
Do you know what it means to live in the beauty?
Beautiful shops!
Beautiful buildings! Beautiful doormen!
Beautiful parking lots! Beautiful pedestrians!
Beautiful ugly women!
More questions?
(narrator) A handul of dissenters
can't stand all this.
One of them is Giulio Worm.
Why is he holding
a pink pigeon?
Let's make a movie about him.
Everything started
from a washing mistake.
(Filomena) Oh my God!
TV REPORT OF A FOOTBALL MATCH
- Antonio, look what happened!
- Shut up, I am watching TV.
Look.
- Is it my t'shirt?
- It is.
My t-shirt!
You poor stupid rotten miserable!
It's not my fault, I washed it
with lemon soap.
Don't you know that lemons
are astringent? What the hell were you thinking!
What are we going to do
with this t-shirt?
Let's make a bay to fill it up!
Nine months after,
the t-shirt is filled up.
Giulio Worm.
You made him too small,
the t-shirt is too large. You're so stupid!
FILOMENA CRIES
Together with the baby
they also got commercial TV.
Filomena, the colour!
Come here, have a look!
- How nice!
- It's not anymore black and white!
From that moment Giulio's parents
won't turn it off anymore.
- Mum, dad! I shit in my head.
- Shut up!
This lack of attentions
makes little Giulio suffer
such that he develops
a sense of repulsion towards TV.
He rejects TV addiction
and develops an alarming
critical thinking.
Daddy, why do you throw away fruit
in the same bin as the glass?
Why do you throw away paper
in the same bin as aluminium?
- Why do you eat animals?
- GOOD LORD!
Year after year, little Giulio
take the side of the weak ones
pushed by the ambitious goal
of saving the world.
GOOD LORD!
I want to be a football player.
I want to be a bimbo.
I want to be the winner of the Big Brother
but I don't know what it is.
(teacher) What about you, Worm?
What do you want to be as a grown-up?
I want to work in the no profit,
set up an ecosustainable organization
bio-vegan-animalist,
zero impact.
GOOD LORD!
The Worm realize Giulio has a problem
and want to find a solution
but it's too late.
Watch the football match!
Daddy, TV is a univocal medium
that makes people passive.
It lowers the intellectual abilities
of our brain.
What the hell is he talking about?
CRYING
Talk the way you TALK!
- Would you like brand clothes?
- They're too expensive!
- Would you like a scooter?
- It's polluting.
Would you like a hooker?
At the end, exhausted
by the ignorance of his parents
Giulio leaves his home.
Mummy, daddy, I am leaving.
Wait till the commercials.
(Giulio) I won't!
I want to change the world!
The Worm have never changed anything
Only TV channels.
CRYING
And so Giulio
moves to the North.
He attends with passion
the course in Environmental Sciences.
A signature against nuclear power,
a signature against airwaves
a signature to save the baboons.
Baboons!
(Franca) Where do I sign?
Finally he meets the only person
who shares his own ideals.
She.
No, she!
Franca,
a student of Architecture.
Their union is inevitable.
For the periodical realization
of the national inventories
of the tropic emissions.
Five years later our Worm
gets his degree with highest honours
discussing an innovative dissertation
about sul waste recycling.
(Giulio)..in the distribution,
in the use and consumption of goods
(President) Highest honours, enough!
I still have 28 minutes.
I can't stand it.
I will make the difference
in this world.
Franca, let's go.
I will make the difference.
(Giulio) The world population
since the beginning of the century till today
has increased of 400%.
Do you know what do we produce most?
Do you know?
It's waste.
Giulio wanted to make the difference.
But he starts working in the recycling.
This is a dirty job
but it takes a great responsibility,
a great value. Do you get it?
As I alway say
one has first to dig into shit
in order to find gold.
And therefore let's do make it right.
Come on, Pippo! Come on, Aldone!
(Pippo) Giulio,
I have already my own problems.
I can't spend my day
listening to your preaching.
This job is disgusting enough,
can't you see!
Your problem rise
from your indifference.
FART
Aldone, what are you doing?
Farts are one of the main causes
of the ozone hole.
I never fart. I hold myself,
since always!
Then make a petition
and I will sign it like this.
FART
(Giulio) What can I do with you guys.
It's our job.
COMPLAINS
Gosh, yesterday they banned Kevin
from MasterVip!
Didn't you see?
(girl) how did it happen?
They were in the private room
and he ordered some white wine.
White wine in the private room? Unbelievable!
There is a woman in pain!
Didn't you see her?
She's laying down. Madam?
(Giulio) What are you doing!
Is there a doctor?
Madam, how are you?
One thinks about global emissions
famines
genocides in Africa
Tibet oppression by China,
poor people in the nuclear Pakistan
to the exploitation of baboons!
And those stupid ones,
while a woman is about to die
they talk of Kevin being banned
from MasterVip!
What?
Kevin has been banned?
I can't believe it
He was my favourite.
PSYCHOLOGIST CRIES
You can't understand!
I bet 5.000 euro
on Kevin's victory
and what does he do?
He orders white wine.
Shit, this is not a wine bar!
DISCO MUSIC IN THE CAR
CLACSON
Hey boy, move on!
Big car own the streets!
If there are no appropriate biking paths
the streets are everybody's.
ENGINE AND WHEEL NOISE
(man in the car) GOOD LORD!
How rude!
(Armando) Give me a password.
I just need a username
and a password, I need to connect.
(pedestrian) I just have a username.
- I need to look for work.
- I need to chat with my daughter!
- Armando, quit that tablet.
To pay the instalments, you went bankrupt.
Look what happened to yourself!
I need it to look for a job
on Internet.
No, you need it go on social networks
I need to connect
to chat with my daughter.
Take this money.
That's all I have
and some change.
With this you can buy
a good salad
with kale
berries, peanuts, lineseeds
ginger and kombu seaweed.
- Yes.
- Do not buy passwords.
- I won't. Thank you.
- Please, don't do it
- Thank you.
GOOD LORD.
- Good evening.
- Good evening. - Good evening.
You should just walk upstairs.
You do some exercise
and use less electricity.
And the flat complex saves money
Goodbye.
- Goodbye.
- Goodbye.
Let's go.
WOMAN GASPING
Worm, did you pay?
Miss Sharon,
I don't own a TV.
TV makes me sick.
Why should I pay
for the common satellite dish?
I already said it during the assembly
Let's put some solar panels.
If I want to get tanned,
I'll got to a beauty centre.
I don't buy SOLARIUM panels.
- You don't even know what they are.
- You're a cheapskate.
It's just 20 euro.
When people go back home in the evening
They just want to watch MasterVip.
HEART BEATS
You're a loser.
You're such a snobbish.
Get out fromMasterVip!
(Giulio) I won't pay a penis!
(Sharon) What the hell is a penis?
(Franca) Hi honey.
- Hi.
What's up?
They keep asking money
for the satellite dish.
Don't get mad
it's just 20 euro.
I don't care about the money,
it's the principle.
These people spend are all day long
watching a screen
they do not think. They are lobotomized,
they sit there and watch.
How many times have we already
discussed about this?
- 87.
- There you go!
It dipends on how you use TV.
There are interesting programs,
it's not all that negative.
And what about chemical weapons?
And what about chlorofluorocarbons?
What about pesticides? And dead animals?
And the bombs?
Does it depend the way he used them?
Franca, I am vegan and coherent.
I eat only seeds.
You eat salad with mozzarella.
Do you think cows are born
to be squeezed by human beings?
Can I at least choose
what I want to eat?
Can I at least be sorry
for all those emptied cows!
GIULIO SNAPS HIS TONGUE
Here's Kyoto. He's the only one who understands me
Look at him.
He's the only one who understands me.
Would you like some seeds?
eat, Kyoto.
Kyoto is vegan too, you know that?
He doesn't it cheese.
Do you know what it means for a mice?
It's an important coherent choice.
That he made for the good sake of this world
but you won't make it.
GIULIO GASPS
(record player) Snow Coat
says: 'Say your mantra'.
Even though I can't change things
I still love myself.
Snow Coat says:
'Speak softly'.
Even though I can't change things
I still love myself
You're stressed.
I'll relax you.
Franca, I am really getting relaxed
Let me do it.
Tomorrow I leave and we won't see each other
for 2 weeks.
It's not the right moment.
It's not the right moment!
Let me do it.
Energetic efficacy
reduction of greenhouse gas
Sustainable forest management
Afforestantion and re-afforestation
Kyoto Protocol.
I love your Kyoto.
Climate change.
(Giulio) Climate changes, oh yes!
I love your protocol.
proposals
development, research.
Research on sustainability
What the penis is this?
It's homeopathic, women stuff
You will get pregnant for sure".
It says this.
You wanted to cheat me
having babies.
Giulio, I am 36.
Don't you get it?
Franca, you know what I think
on procreation.
We are already 7 billion people
polluting this planet
like a virus.
They are still making babies.
Allow me
the only real thing I can do
is not having a baby!
Do you get it?
- And do you know what I think?
- What?
I think you spend your life
doing a hell of nothing.
You do not take action
you do nothing concrete.
What should I do?
I am surrounded by morons!
And what do you do concretely?
Me? I volunteer for Save the Black
Do you know that a cousin thrice removed
of the president of Save the Black
has been investigated
for stealing a scooter.
- His cousin?
- YES!
His cousin?
Do you realise what you're saying?
If you really want to do something, you do it.
If you really want to save the world, you save it.
You can do something in your own small way
but you do nothing.
- You're just a dissatisfied loser.
- Me?
Your words are just farts, Giulio!
When will you be ready to take a dump?
Fine.
- What are you doing?
- I am leaving.
Don't do this, tomorrow I am leaving
Who cares!
I am sorry.
I am sorry a penis!
Goodbye.
(woman) Honey, I am pregnant!
We will have five fat twins.
(man) Great news!
They will properly pollute the planet.
(man 2) Sir, this is not enough money
to corrupt me.
(man 2) I want my stupid son
as a Prime Minister.
(congressman) Not a problem,
but you send me some hookers.
(congressman) I want hookers!
# I crawl, I shuffle,
people steps on me, they hurt me.
# they leave their tracks.
# I can't stand upright.
# I can't stand vertical,
I am bidimensional.
# I follow my horizontal line.
# Everyone is against me, against me.
# Everyone steps one me, everyone against me,
everyone against, everyone steps on me!
# My life
#..a worm life.
# My life
#..defenceless.
# I dance
#..the worm dance.
# Because my life
#..is a worm life.
GAGGING
You're a dissatisfied loser
You always wanted to change the world
but you will never do it.
You complain all the time.
Come with us.
Us who?
VOICES
We are the Salmons,
an eco-sustainable organization
vegan-animalist zero impact,
bio bio bio bio.
We oppose the progress.
VOICES
We are fighting against
the demolition of a park.
VOICES
He is Ermanno Flakesofplaster,
professional conspirator.
Everyone has a microchip here!
She is Tutu, former dancer
now violent pacifist.
Rodolfo Sadly,
former soap opera actor.
My friend, sign to save
this damned park.
He was well-know
for his magnetic look.
- Who is he?
(Rita) He's also part of our group.
? Ennio,
also called The Worst.
(Giulio) The Worst?
Why do you keep him with you?
Because he helps us
to make us feel better.
Right.
And my name is Rita Takeoffyour Shoes
and I finance the group's activities.
Sign, and you will get
this awesome pin
designed by Philip Strac,
a dear friend of mine.
No, thank you. No big deal.
I appreciate it.
VOICES
- Excuse me, what should I sign for?
- for the natural park in Cement Street!
Tomorrow works will start
to be demolished.
- Cement Street?
- YES! That's ridiculous.
We're trying all what we can.
We even contacted Roberto Savehim
but he never answered.
- Roberto Savehim?
- YES.
- And he didn't answer?
- He didn't.
I will help you.
Now let's go back
to the park
where we left Giulio
and his pink pigeon.
(Billboards) This neighbourhood
will kick away all ugliness.
Therefore we choose
a special supporter
a big champion,
and a dear friend of mine.
Alessandro The Dimwit.
Hi, I am Alessandro The Dimwit.
I like too the Upcoming Beautiful.
We can't stop the future,
we can't stop the progress.
And especially, we can't stop
the new Beauty.
On the contrary, you can and you must stop it.
My name is Giulio Worm.
This pink pigeon
lives in this parc
and is a protected specie.
This bird has a right to live.
Thatsenough with the SUVs
that pollute the air we breath!
(together) Thatsenough!
- Thatsenough with the illegal developments!
(together) Thatsenough!
With the mobile phones that keep us
constantly uselessly connected!
Thatsenough!
With the monosodium glutamate,
with the lifts, with the dextrose!
Thatsenough!
and most of all Thatsenough
to talent shows like MasterVip!
Thatsss
No
No, he's still alive.
Fly, fly in the air!
He's a moron.
WOMAN GASPING
(man) My legs can't make it anymore.
What happened?
Are you still upset with me?
I know you don't like Save the Black
but for me they are important.
Is there anything I can do?
Do you want me to stay?
For the last time.
If you want, I'll stay.
KISS
I'll call you as soon as I can.
DOOR SLAMMING
BELLRING
I knew you would not...
We know the truth,
the church has always lied to you.
At the end of the world billions of people will die
and you as well.
Giulio!
How do you know my name?
Giulio Worm, first desk on the right!
- Excuse me, who are you?
- I am Alfonzo.
- Alfonzo Scribbles. Do you remember?
- I don't.
- The one who wanted to be a usher.
- The usher
I want to be a usher.
Yes, yes.
How many wasted classes.
What do you want from me?
I am not an usher, because people
don't go out anymore.
I am a precarious, working here and there
- What about you?
- None of your business!
Fine, come in.
But I don't feel talking .
Where was I wrong, Alfonzo?
I've always said the right things.
Maybe sometime I exaggerate, I know.
Do some good,
it's just what I want.
Everyone is always against me, can you believe that?
First my parents
and now my girlfriend.
I live
in the torturous awareness
of the shit that surrounds us all.
Nobody listens to me,
nobody understands me.
- Nobody listens to me!
- Excuse me, what did you say again?
What?
Alfonzo, I've been talking for one hour!
I was thinking about something else. Tell me everything.
I can't stand it anymore,
I can't stand it anymore!
Giulio, don't do this..
- Maybe I can help you.
- How?
You know we use only 20% of our brain, right?
What is this?
What is this?
Shall I try?
I'll try, it can't get worse than this
With this one you will use
only 2% of your brain
Two?
Two per cent?
I don't want it, I want to spit it out!
- Tell me something disgusting.
- Rats!
- Sewer rats!
- No, I love rats.
Tell me something else.
VOICES
It's good, isn't it?
I wanna fuck!
Wait, I must do something
I've been holding for the last 30 years.
FARTS
DOORBELL
Who's that?
- Who's that?
- Worm, what's all this noise?
INAUDIBLE VOICE
INAUDIBLE VOICE
INAUDIBLE VOUCE
What are you doing?
Did you break the drainage?
I didn't.
(mumbling) I've been really sick.
I can't understand you
I could not handle
Kevin's ban
from MasterVip.
- Are you taking the mickey of me?
You don't watch MasterVip.
He ordered some white wine in the private room!
Unbelievable
I know.
He's so stupid. Did you see him?
Sure! Did you see Tatiana?
- Her breast implant popped.
- Poor girl!
She cried so much when it popped!
Bum!
Bum!
I was talking about that with my girlfriends
at the beauty centre.
All those implants popping out!
- Did you see Michael's pack?
- Do you think is real?
Down there it's all fake,
It's all pumped up!
I had no idea.
Worm, I need that money for the satellite dish
Were your parents thiefs?
They stole two stars
and put them in your eyes
They stole two melons
and put them in your boob
You make me blush.
- Did you buy a new bed?
- I did.
Can I help you to put it together?
Done?
Can I get a puff?
BURP
Honey, we didn't use protection.
What the fuck do I care!
W're 7 billion people,
one more, one less, who cares
Where are you going?
No, that's my favourite fleece!
We are inside the truth
Giulio you live here too?
Alfonzo Scribbles!
You changed my life,
let me kiss you!
Feel like grabbing something to eat?
Let's go, take the LIFT!
After you, madam.
(Giulio) What the fuck do I care!
You know the only think of the pig you throw away?
No, which one?
The bread!
VOICES
I'll kill your head!
Speaking about pigs
Where can I find sows?
In the pigsty
I mean sluts
You go to the Just Caviar, nice place.
It's expensive though.
Remember the money I lent you
yesterday and all the days before?
Giulio, is it really you?
- I do remember, thank you for that.
- That was a mistake.
Don't, what are you doing?!
- What are you doing?
- What?
- Fine
- I will punch you!
I am sorry.
- Let's go.
- Give me a password at least!
DISCO MUSIC
- How many people?
- Two. - Go ahead.
You go in, you go home.
Can't we go in now?
No, you must be in the list
or must be famous
like a footballplayer.
Watch TV,
Watch the football match!
Excuse me.
I am
Gullit.
- I didn't understand. Who are you?
- Gullit.
No way!
- You are Ruud Gullit?
- Correct.
Sei il mio idol
let's make a selfie!
What a cult! Please, have a good time.
- Take this.
- Thanks.
He's my friend.
(bouncer) Go Milan!
- Suck it!
(girl) Who is he?
- ? Gullit, Golden Ball 1987!
(girl) great Gullit!
- Gullit!
- Ol?! I wanna fuck!
(bodyguard) Guys, get up.
This table is booked.
What the fuck are you talking about?
I paid 5.000 euro!
You must leave it for last minute VIPs.
Unbelievable!
Guys, he's Gullit!
Correct.
VOICES
Get lost!
go go
No, you stay.
Wanna fuck?
- Wanna fuck?
- Something to drink?
- White wine.
- No, that's for losers.
DON PERIGNONE for everyone!
DISCO MUSIC
I'll get fuck!
(girl) You smell like a pig.
And who are you?
I am Maradona.
What the fuck are you saying!
Do you think I am stupid?
Look at this!
Enough, this is occupation
of PUBIC land.
Ruud! Gullit!
Yes, I am Gullit. What's up?
May I introduce you a colleague,
Alessandro The Dimwit.
Champion of our days!
You are not Ruud Gullit.
I recognised you.
You are Giulio Worm.
You are a loser.
I am not Gullit? How do you dare?
- Change.
- Simulation. Bozo!
- Change.
- Ale!
What the fuck are you doing?
Get this go guys !
SMASHED GLASS AND SHOUTING
Come with me
Tonight I am having so much fun!
- Thanks to you, my dear friend.
- I am having fun too.
- I even met Gullit!
- I am Gullit.
How did you manage to get
the bouncer's car?
I got a great idea,
I asked him to lend it to me.
- And what did he say?
- He agreed.
You're so cool!
(Giulio) I am the king of the sidewalk!
I had never driven
an off-road car before.
- an off-road car?
- Yes.
Why are you on the road then?
- What the fuck do I care!
- Watch out!
CRASH
(Giulio) What the fuck?
Car is broken.
They gave me a broken car.
It's a wreck.
What shall we do know?
Cool!
I want a bulldozer!
I wanna fuck!
(Giulio) I'll destroy everything!
Tear down trees!
What the penis is this?
What is this?
No No!
No.
My god.
Kyoto.
Kyoto
What did they do to you?
Who did this to you?
Die, you dirty beast!
Rest in peace, rest in peace.
Wake up.
Ehi!
- What did he gave to me?
- Giulio, my friend!
Friend my penis!
What did he gave to me?
Did he drugged me with drug?
He drugged me!
Don't do this.
We had so much fun.
You are a junk.
He wanted me to become a junk!
Get out of this flat.
Reach the exit immediately.
RINGBELL
And now, who's there?
DOORBELL
Hi, I bought a new night table.
Would you help me to put me together?
Miss, I am very sorry
about what happened yesterday.
I am really embarassed, I wasn't myself.
- Somebody drugged me.
- Giulio, don't treat me like this
He drugged me.
(Alfonzo) Let's get together.
Tonight I can't,
I'll have to work in Unusual Way
Let's get together?
I will kill you, you drugged me!
Get lost!
The park!
- Can you help me?
- My sciatic nerve is inflamed.
The Gipsies did it for sure.
Stop saying the Gipsies are guilty.
The Gipsies are innocent.
It was me.
I'll turn myself in.
- Who was that?
- Probably a Gipsy.
Last night some vandals destroyed
the park in Cement Street.
On the site there was a car belonging
to the bouncer of a well-known disco.
It wasn't me, it's Gullit's fault!
This act of vandalism, however, brought to the light
a sad reality.
The park was meant to be demolished
in place of an eliterian neiighbourhood,
the Upcoming Beautiful.
(journalist) Public opinion
is rising up.
Many citizens are defending the park.
I had no idea what was going on.
Now that the TV is talking about it,
I would fight my life for the park.
Before I didn't care about the park.
But now that it has been vadalized
I do care a lot!
(journalist) The demolishment has been interrupted
and now they are looking for the criminals.
(crowd) We want the park,
we want the park!
(crow) No Upcoming Beautiful,
no Upcoming Beautiful!
(Flakesofplaster) That's amazing,
they managed to get some attention
and awake some social awareness.
(Rita) Probably they're eco-terrorists.
Professionals.
I did it.
HONKING
- Why are you driving the wrong way?
- We are the Salmons.
We always go the wrong way.
HONKING
We'll get killed!
- Where are you bringing me?
- To our super secret headquarters.
Where we'll be left in peace.
(Rita) Today
our leader
showed us the light,
he taught us a great lesson.
Giulio Worm!
Thanks. What
(together) Where?
I found
the force
within myself.
I realized that in order to save something
one has to destroy it first.
(together) Genius!
SNORING
That what I always said.
One must first to dig shit
in order to find gold.
(Salmons, together) YES!
What next?
What next?
SILENCED SHOUTING
Let's share our cove with a group
of wannabe terrorists.
What next?
Do you have any water?
II kamikaze has forged ahead the fire.
- What do you mean?
- He lit himself on fire too early
Water, quick!
Somebody
Water, well said!
Water will be our next gol.
KAMIKAZE LAST BREATH
Nevermind, we don't need it anymore.
Water is the most important good.
We must pollute water.
We must throw waste into the water.
Careful.
I hope you're joking.
Giulio, we must destroy things
in order to make their real value appreciated
You said it!
Yes, Giulio!
Now that you are finally changing the world.
- Isn't that so?
- Isn't that so?
Isn't that so?
Yes, actually, it is.
Thatsenough!
(together) Thatsenough, thatsenough!
- Can we take turns?
- Sure.
Well done! The mirror is the most important
tool for a body builder.
Snow Coat, I am at a crossroads
I don't know which way to go.
Giulio, follow your diaphragm.
I saw a dark light.
I don't know if I should follow it or not.
Remember.
Easier said than done
Evil is in the middle.
(Pippo) Did you watch the news?
Parks are important!
If I should not work, today I would protest.
(Pippo) Me too.
And water pollution?
What do you think about it?
We don't care about water.
I waste it all day long
There's is PLENTLOT of water
What did you bring to pollute water?
I broght my jewelry.
I brought my comics collection
I brought all my awards
I brought my granny!
Good evening.
I brought 12 tons of waste.
(together) Worm! Worm! Worm!
Let's change the history of pollution!
(together) YES!
You're just the opposite of my grandson.
CHEERING
Tonight I can't,
I have to work, in Unsual Way.
Excuse me.
I'll be back.
Madam, you dropped your wallet.
In Unusual Way, I'll give it back to you.
Thanks thief, I knew you would do that.
(thief) I am going to rob!
Excuse me.
I am looking for
Alfonzo, is that you?
Hi sweetie,
can't you see I am working?
What are you doing?
We are reading a book
in Unusual Way.
First of all I wanted to apologize
to kick you out of my house.
Second I wanted to ask you
if you could give me more of those pills.
Fine.
Take this sweetie.
Now you go, I have to work.
Thanks, Alfonzo. You're so beautiful!
bye, bye.
That was quick.
I wanna fuck!
- Follow your breast muscles, Giulio!
- Yes! I wanna fuck!
All inside!
Last night I met a slut o
on Facebook.
I brought her in my SUV
and I kicked it in!
A signature to have Keving be back at MasterVip!
Your signature!
VOICES
MasterVip is important!
(Alfonzo) Where did you get the money
to buy a car?
What the fuck do I care!
At the Lethal Bank.
The veinings!
SIGNAL OF GREEN LINE
Madam, we finished the door.
(voicemail) Here Worm family.
right now we can't answer.
We are probably busy
saving the planet.
Leave a message after the call
of the cerulean warbler.
CALL OF THE CERULEAN WARBLER
Hi Giulio.
"Don't feel down about what happened".
"Together we'll find a solution".
And buy a mobile phone,
even here they have it!
White wine? No!
Call me.
I miss you.
Would you like to fuck me?
Darling!
TV is important .
WEDDING MARCH
(Giulio) Rotation.
I'll split you in 2!
I'll kill your head!
Honey, we look amazing.
What the fuck do I care!
There's the final monster.
You promised to look at the pics together.
Enough with this playing videos!
You switched to the wrong channel.
(TV) "More and more discomforts due
to water pollution.
Today a tramp, while drinking
from of a public fontain
has ingested three batteries
that came out of the pipes.
The homeless man is now in a coma".
Several cases of poisoning
in water pollution
are shocking the all town.
- Alfonzo, do you have more pills?
- I'll kill you. I'll kill you.
..The issue about the park
is now being neglected.
INCOMPREHENSIBLE VOICES
I don't care about the park.
Water is important!
Despite the disagreement of the renown
writer Roberto Savehim
today the park will start
to be demolished
for the development
of the Upcoming Beautiful.
NON AUDIBLE VOICES
You have a lover, I know that.
Who's she? Why we don't talk anymore ?
Why you don't listen to me anymore? Giulio!
That'senough really!
I defeated the final monster!
(together) The first rule
of the Thatsenough is
not talk about the Thatsenough.
The second rule of the Thatsenough is:
until there is Worse there is Hope.
The third rule of the Thatsenough is
- Our leader!
- There!
There!
Good lord, what a nasty person.
Giulio, did they put a microchip in you?
You have been corrupted by the power.
You are low!
Guys, I've been through hard time.
I am back to guide you to the good.
You have grown in number
and I am happy about it.
The more we are the more we are.
We are planning the next action
of pacifist ecoterrorism.
We will pollute the air!
Even more?
Yes! We'll put poisonous phials
inside pigeons.
(Rita) Right, phials inside pigeons!
(together) Yes, Yes, Yes
UNDISTINCT VOICES
Guys, listen to me.
Our action on the water has taken away
people's attention on the park.
Now nobody cares about it.
You said we need to dig shit
in order to find gold.
Right, but shit stinks!
Stay grounded!
Also, the lives of some people are in danger
because of what we did.
We must act legally
if we want to change things.
Legally! We don't like that!
INDISTINCT VOICES
Go!
We must find a way
to let our voices be heard
to influence once and for all
the public opinion
I don't know how I can help,
I can't think of anything.
We know that, The Worst.
This is the answer
from Roberto Savehim.
He wants to meet us,
he cares for the park.
When? Is it not too late?
No, it isnt't.
Tomorrow he will be Milan for an interview
from 8:45 to 8:47.
He can give us
45 seconds in the lift.
(together) Roberto Savehim,
Roberto Savehim!
He's not Roberto Savehim!
Ladies and gentlemen
you're about to assist
to an extraordinary show.
What is he doing?
Just using
the HANDSLEEVES.
That's ? Roberto Savehim.
Bravo!
Okay, he's clean.
Only one of you can come in.
- Shall I go?
- No, The Worst, not you!
Here I am, my name's sono Giulio Worm.
Let's go!
- Fuck is good, right?
- yes, fuck is good!
Suck it!
Giulio, what did you do!
What did you tell him?
What did you tell him?
I didn't take the pill!
- Giulio Worm?
- That's me.
You passed yourself for Gullit
you demolished a park
and polluted the water of Milan.
Yes, I did it.
Arrest me, I deserve it.
Congratulation!
You have been chosen
as the new participant in MasterVip.
- MasterVip?
- You will replace Kevin.
Sign here.
MasterVip?
What the penis..
What the fuck do I care,
I will be in TV!
I can sign 50 more times!
54!
Taxi!
SUSPENCE MUSIC
Where are you going, miss?
- COWARD STREET 31.
- I know where it is.
A friend of mine lives there
we often go to get hookers.
- Here it is. - This is where
my friend Giulio leaves.
I was the best man at his wedding
Giulio who?
Giulio Worm.
SUSPENCE MUSIC
Do you like cassata?
- Sharon?
- Any sugar?
(Sharon) Two spoons for you.
Why is your house inside my house?
Nice, isn't it?
- Where is Giulio?
- You mean my husband?
I don't know, he's always somewhere around.
He never tells me where he goes.
What are you doing here?
I thought you ran away with a Sherichk?
You hurt Giulio him so much!
- He told you that?
- Why, isn't that true?
That's not true.
He's always joking, he's so funny.
He never joked with me.
Since you left
he has evolved.
? he's a real phenomenon.
? is this a candid camera?
Are we on "Let's Prank with Franca"?
I've been away just two weeks.
What the fuck has happened
My god.
Holy cow, she properly fainted!
TV NOISE
Sweetie, fortunately you wake up.
Just in time
for the semi-final of MasterVip.
(TV) Two of them are left,
but they don't know
that another participant
is taking Kevin's place.
Hi. I am Giulio Worm,
I am a solarium person.
What the fuck is he doing there?
I like to have fun.
I hate ipocrisy,
fur on the groin
and people who tells you one thing in your face
and another in your butt.
My values are family,
prostitution,
money and soda.
Soda!
A kiss to my wife Sharon,
I love her so much.
Ladies and Gentlemen
Giulio WORM!
APPLAUSES
"Giulio you can compete in MasterVip
and win a permanent position
in the showbusiness".
?The judges that will help the Master
will be, as usual,
Alessandro The Dimwit, renown football player
and Grace Shampoo, editorial director
of the gossip magazine Whoever.
Now be ready for the test
the nose in the air.
"Let's welcome
the most vip man on earth".
"Giancarlo Billboards!"
You are still here
because I saw something in each of you.
But until you win,
you're still potential losers.
Let's start with the first test.
Inside the private room
the participants will have to handle
5 pure grams of Colombian cocoaine.
Jessica
is waiting to share with them
the precious white powder".
The will have 20 seconds to cut it cooly
and conquer the prey.
What are you doing?
Are you cutting it with a prepaid card?
I can't sniff it like that.
Loser!
I am sorry.
Do think I will ever sniff it with a 10 Euro banknote?
What a trump.
Did he sniff it all?
What an asshole!
This is not an asshole!
- Slut!
- Yes.
- Giulio, come here.
- Yes, Master.
Tonight you were the best.
You're in the final!
APPLAUSES
Thank you, Master.
By winning the semi-final
you can ask to somebody that can help you
in tomorrow's final.
Think of somebody.
Giammaicol, come here.
The temperature at next stop ma
is 20 Centigrees
The itinerary looks smooth.
We'll go through obstructions
and red lights.
(driver) We'll leave as soon
this episode of Mastervip will end.
REPEATING ANNOUNCEMENT
IN BROKEN ENGLISH
Get out of MasterVip!
Giulio, did you decide
who will help you?
Yes, it will be Alfonzo.
- Alfonzo Scribbles.
- That's me!
I am Alfonzo! That's me!
You don't know who I will be!
Let's take a shot!
I have to go, my friend is waiting for me.
(passengers, together) Bravo!
Why didn't he choose me?
I don't understand.
? another person, unbelievable.
I asked myself too the first time he was flirting
He was acting weird. He told me
he was taking a pill.
- A pill?
- Yes, a pill.
? drugged, he's with you
because he's been drugged.
How do you dare?
- Who gave it to him?
- Alfonzo, that stupid friend of his.
The one he chose instead of me.
- And who is?
- Alfonzo!
He was the best man
at our wedding.
- The one with that stupid face.
- The taxi driver!
I can't tell if he drives a taxi.
WHINING
Excuse me, I got an SMS.
"Hi! You are invited
as special guest
to the final episode of MasterVip".
I can't believe it!
What shall I wear? I ask my girlfriends.
- You must bring me with you
- No way.
Sharon.
We must find out
who is the real Giulio Worm.
Yours or mine.
(singing) I am in the final,
I am in the final!
What the penis are you doing?
The pill is having some effect on you
even if you don't take it.
You are addicted.
You must call a medical doctor.
No way! I am fine.
I am in the final,
tomorrow I will be a VIPPO.
Don't break my balls!
This time I'll become famous too,
I feel it.
(Sharon) Are you serious?
- I am.
(Franca) Are you sure?
- I am.
Can we trust you?
You can.
Then it means that...
Good evening.
Are you Alfonzo Scribbles,
the persone that Worm wants with him?
That's me.
The lady should be the special guest.
- Yes, I am his wife
- And I am his fiancee.
(assistant) A fiancee.
That's interesting.
(TV) They were 10,
now 2 are left.
"Only one of them will become
the real MasterVip".
"They will compete
in the most difficult test".
"They will have to abandon their past".
Mirko, come.
Yes, Master.
In order to become a real MasterVip
you will need to deprive yourself
of your past as a loser.
You have to tell to fuck off
the person you care mostly,
in your case, your mum.
No problem.
Mirko.
You are so gorgeous
under the lights!
You never call me. Aunt Maria
bought a new donkey.
Mamma, leave me alone,
I am becoming a vip.
I brought this just for you,
you should eat il all.
It's the parmigiana
of fat eggplants.
I put some bacon,
smoked cheese
mozzarella, egg bites,
a few little meatballs
- I even put some omelets
- Mummy, I missed you!
(Billboards, in english) Good Heaven!
Well done, honey.
CONFUSED VOICES
Giulio, come here.
Yes, Master.
You too will have to delete your past
and tell to fuck off to your best friend,
the same one you thought
would help you.
It was a trick so you would call
a person you loved.
First you will have to leave
your wife Sharon.
On that table there are the divorce papers.
Sign them.
(Sharon) Don't do it!
Excuse me.
Darling, don't sign,
these people are stupid.
Forgive me, I am a fan of yours.
Nice to meet you, Sharon.
You are awesome ALIVE!
I love your accessories.
You can't leave your wife
for a TV show!
Sharon, I am leaving you.
I am a SEX SINGLE
and I can't live with you. Look!
Giulio Worm.
You know what I do with this?
I am throwing it away!
APPLAUSES
What the fuck do I care!
Giulio, don't leave me,
let me stay with you.
We can be vip together.
JURIST!
How could I ever leave
my dearest friend?
If I am here it's because of him.
I hate him!
You ruined my life by giving me that pill
What pill?
Everyone should know it.
This man drugged me
wit a pill that activates
only 2% of your brain.
Alfonzo, you are not my friend.
You are just
my DRUGGER!
He's just my DRUGGER.
Now leave me alone!
You gave me the chance to participate
to this amazing show
and I am winning!
Bravo, Giulio. You tell to fuck off
even to your best friend.
There is still one test.
Another dear person,
your ex-girlfriend Franca.
You must get rid of her as well
in order to become a real MasterVip.
Hi, Giulio.
- Do you recognize me?
- I do.
How are you?
I am very well and I feel even better
when I will tell you to fuck off.
If you want to repudiate me, that's OK.
Knowing that you are finally happy,
even though you are a different person
Do you like it?
to me it's a Liberation.
I love you.
Evidently I was the one who was blocking you.
Evidently, evidently
Franca, I am sick, I am drugged.
Alfonzo drugged me.
Call a doctor,
we need to know what kind of drug is.
Giulio, the drug has nothing to do with it.
Alfonzo explained me everything.
The pill does not exist.
It was your imagination.
What the penis are you talking about?
When you left, he rang the bell,
he was a Jehovah Witness
He gave me the pill. Alfonzo!
Alfonzo! Where is he?
Tell her!
Tell her that you drugged me.
Giulio, that's not true
You slammed the door,
you didn't let me in.
What...
And what about that time
in Unusual Way,
where you worked?
You gave the package,
you were a trans.
I drive the tram, I am not a trans.
OK, come in. But I don't feel talking
that much
I will try, it can't go worse than this.
I wanna fuck!
You were quick.
WHINING
What's happening to him?
People who participate
to this talent show
believe they can become important,
but that's not true.
Because
with all these media bombing
nobody knows what the truth is anymore
Ecology is important
as far as TV talks about it
We watch TV
and we want to be part of it.
Everyone wants to be in the showbusiness.
But what's left after the showbusiness?
Do you ever think about it?
Just garbage!
Just garbage
Garbage.
This act of sincerity
was amazing.
Giulio Worm, you are a MasterVip!
Bravo, bravo.
- Mum
- Our son is famous.
- I am touched!
- Son!
Dad, mum!
I am the TV!
ALARM CLOCK
ALARM CLOCK
ALARM CLOCK
Stop it!
Mine always works in the morning.
BUZZ
The head physician is here.
- Head physician, how is it going?
- A little bit of cough, just a little bit.
Not you, Giulio!
Ah, you mean him?
I have two news.
A good one and a bad one.
Tell us the bad one first.
The bad one is that unfortunately
we don't know when he will recover.
It can happen in a second, tac!
One second, two seconds, tac!
It can happen on a month,
a year, a century
We don't know, we don't know.
And the good one?
The good one?
I won 5.000 euro
to the Scratch and Win.
- Congratulations, head physician.
- Congratulations.
(head physicians) I must go now.
I let the psychologist speak.
He will give you all the details.
VOICES
Right now in his head
there's a tough fight.
(Tough, tough, tough)
DISCO MUSIC
LATIN AMERICAN MUSIC
What happened to him?
As a child Giulio created
his own social awareness
as an answer
to the ignorance of his parents
who preferred watching TV
rather than playing with him.
Good Lord!
As the time went by
he developed a dormant bipolarity.
Until he met Alfonzo
I want to be an usher.
..Something snapped inside of him.
He invented that pill
to justify that attitude of the average italian
that he wanted so much to take on.
Done?
Who better than a stupid old friend
that could give him that pill?
On one side an extreme altruist,
on the other somebody who doesn't give a damn,
a bold man against a hippie
DISCO MUSIC
LATIN AMERICAN MUSIC
Good Lord!
Giulio! How are you?
Honey, do you still want a divorce?
Giulio, did you sleep well?
I must pee.
- Can you go with me?
- I will.
VOICES
ALARM CLOCK
(journalist) Watch out,
the trump is awaking too!
- We must go to the park.
- We can take my taxi.
- Do you have a taxi?
- I do.
- Let's go.
- No, first you have to call me.
- How?
- You have to.
- Give me your mobile phone.
- 3 6 1 4
No, your mobile phone, give it to me.
Taxi, tell me.
Good morning. I need a taxi
in front of Saint Loop Hospital
One moment please.
- Idiot 81 in four second.
- Okay, thanks.
- Did you call me?
- Yes, I did.
- Are you the winner of MasterVip?
- Alfonzo, it's me, Giulio!
How cool!
Go.
- Where to?
- The park, Cement Street 81.
Fine!
To the park!
Non disappoint yourself, Giulio.
I am your friend.
All what is shaved off
will grow stronger again.
Who said that?
My beautician.
? very good.
Thanks, Alfonzo! Thanks.
Thanks!
I am your friend too.
We must talk with Billboards
We could get in pretending we work
for the furnace maintenance
You, Rodolfo, you could use
your acting skills.
My friend, I have no time to lose, get it?
We called us for to repair that damned furnace.
We don't believe you at all.
They won't believe you
but you'll use your magnetic look.
The Worst, you can mind your fucking business
and stay here.
- Where is The Worst?
- Who knows!
(together) Yes!
Tutu, you could use your dancing skills.
You will enchant the surveillance
with a fantastic modern fairytale.
CLASSICAL MUSIC
Gosh!
- Holy cow!
- What a fantastic modern fairytale.
That's pure poetry.
Rita, thanks to your current assets
you will distract the cleaning woman.
You can't go through here,
I have just cleaned.
(Giulio) When we will reach
Billboard's robot
then you, Flakesofplaster,
you will use your conspirator skills.
(robot) I will destroy with my laser ray.
Wait, robot. Don't you realize
you have been programmed as well,
controlled, maneuvered
as a puppet?
You got a microchip too.
Listen to me, robot.
This is not life.
You opened my eyes.
(robot) Actually I didn't like it,
I felt exploited
Alfonzo, you can use
your usher skills
to make go out the seven politicians
who Billboard is corrupting.
Yes, it can be done
But we are already here...
We have an appointment.
Hi.
My name is Giulio Worm,
I have an appointment with Billboards.
Please, come in.
Giulio, we are all with you!
RINGTONE 1
I do not like it at all.
RINGTONE 2
This one! This one is really cool.
Nice one!
(Giulio) At the end you destroyed the park.
Shortly we'll set the base for the Upcoming Beautiful.
The beauty attract a hell of a lot.
Hyper-luxe penthouses, parking lots,
swimming-pools, shopping malls.
- A money machine.
- You got it, finally.
Yes, but I know more than that.
Do you know what
the beautician of a friend of mine says?
- What the fuck do I care!
- Listen to me.
All what is shaved off
will grow stronger than before.
- Stronger than your bricks!
- What do you say? Speak my language.
(imitating Billboads) The brick is out.
You can still make some profit with the bricks
but real money is earned with dreams
Do you know what colour is
today's dream?
- It's green.
- What do you mean?
Biological, nature,
those kind of bullshit,
the veganism, the animalism, the ginger,
all this is business
This area has a great value.
- You know which one?
- No. Be clear, Worm.
It's not green.
We have the opportunity
to make this area alive again
together, you and I.
We can do it in the spotlights.
- Spotlights?
- Yes!
I propose you to realize
the first talent-show ever
creating real labour.
A Talent show!
Cool, what a genious!
I left the home keys in the car.
(man) Opl, opl!
- Goodbye.
I wanted to be a singer,
then I wanted to be a vip.
Now I know where my skills were hiding.
In this hoe!
(TV) The hoer,
the very first talent show
to repopulate green areas
and creates labour.
In the next episode
the wannabe hoers
will have to create multicolour flowerbeds,
plant a tree
and dig a lake for the ducks".
?At the end, only one of them
will become a fucking nobody.
The judges will be,
the Itstimetohoe!
Itstimetohoe!
Finally you took a dump, Giulio.
Franca, you were right
I realized there are no compromises.
Nothing is absolutely negative.
For example, I realized you can be a vegan
and eat a roasted pig.
You can donate money charities
at at the same time
waste it on hookers.
You can live healthily
and take lots of drugs.
You can be socially and politically committed
and at the same time not caring a fucking damn,
as far as you live in Italy.
Above all, I realized you are the only one I love.
And Sharon as well
Copulate time.
What are you doing still here?
ordinary day of illegal developments.
The park in Cement Avenue
is going to be demolished .
Making the way
for the Upcoming Beautiful
The very last idea
of the most famous person in Italy
the businessman of beauty,
the manufacturer of taste.
Giancarlo Billboards!
What do you have to say to those who accuse you
of demolishing a park
to build
an elitarian neighbourhood?
These people
VIOLINS PLAYING
Excuse me, it's my live ringtone.
I'll switch to vibration.
IMITATION OF VIBRATION
Darling, these people
have no taste.
They are so miserable.
Do you know what it means to live in the beauty?
Beautiful shops!
Beautiful buildings! Beautiful doormen!
Beautiful parking lots! Beautiful pedestrians!
Beautiful ugly women!
More questions?
(narrator) A handul of dissenters
can't stand all this.
One of them is Giulio Worm.
Why is he holding
a pink pigeon?
Let's make a movie about him.
Everything started
from a washing mistake.
(Filomena) Oh my God!
TV REPORT OF A FOOTBALL MATCH
- Antonio, look what happened!
- Shut up, I am watching TV.
Look.
- Is it my t'shirt?
- It is.
My t-shirt!
You poor stupid rotten miserable!
It's not my fault, I washed it
with lemon soap.
Don't you know that lemons
are astringent? What the hell were you thinking!
What are we going to do
with this t-shirt?
Let's make a bay to fill it up!
Nine months after,
the t-shirt is filled up.
Giulio Worm.
You made him too small,
the t-shirt is too large. You're so stupid!
FILOMENA CRIES
Together with the baby
they also got commercial TV.
Filomena, the colour!
Come here, have a look!
- How nice!
- It's not anymore black and white!
From that moment Giulio's parents
won't turn it off anymore.
- Mum, dad! I shit in my head.
- Shut up!
This lack of attentions
makes little Giulio suffer
such that he develops
a sense of repulsion towards TV.
He rejects TV addiction
and develops an alarming
critical thinking.
Daddy, why do you throw away fruit
in the same bin as the glass?
Why do you throw away paper
in the same bin as aluminium?
- Why do you eat animals?
- GOOD LORD!
Year after year, little Giulio
take the side of the weak ones
pushed by the ambitious goal
of saving the world.
GOOD LORD!
I want to be a football player.
I want to be a bimbo.
I want to be the winner of the Big Brother
but I don't know what it is.
(teacher) What about you, Worm?
What do you want to be as a grown-up?
I want to work in the no profit,
set up an ecosustainable organization
bio-vegan-animalist,
zero impact.
GOOD LORD!
The Worm realize Giulio has a problem
and want to find a solution
but it's too late.
Watch the football match!
Daddy, TV is a univocal medium
that makes people passive.
It lowers the intellectual abilities
of our brain.
What the hell is he talking about?
CRYING
Talk the way you TALK!
- Would you like brand clothes?
- They're too expensive!
- Would you like a scooter?
- It's polluting.
Would you like a hooker?
At the end, exhausted
by the ignorance of his parents
Giulio leaves his home.
Mummy, daddy, I am leaving.
Wait till the commercials.
(Giulio) I won't!
I want to change the world!
The Worm have never changed anything
Only TV channels.
CRYING
And so Giulio
moves to the North.
He attends with passion
the course in Environmental Sciences.
A signature against nuclear power,
a signature against airwaves
a signature to save the baboons.
Baboons!
(Franca) Where do I sign?
Finally he meets the only person
who shares his own ideals.
She.
No, she!
Franca,
a student of Architecture.
Their union is inevitable.
For the periodical realization
of the national inventories
of the tropic emissions.
Five years later our Worm
gets his degree with highest honours
discussing an innovative dissertation
about sul waste recycling.
(Giulio)..in the distribution,
in the use and consumption of goods
(President) Highest honours, enough!
I still have 28 minutes.
I can't stand it.
I will make the difference
in this world.
Franca, let's go.
I will make the difference.
(Giulio) The world population
since the beginning of the century till today
has increased of 400%.
Do you know what do we produce most?
Do you know?
It's waste.
Giulio wanted to make the difference.
But he starts working in the recycling.
This is a dirty job
but it takes a great responsibility,
a great value. Do you get it?
As I alway say
one has first to dig into shit
in order to find gold.
And therefore let's do make it right.
Come on, Pippo! Come on, Aldone!
(Pippo) Giulio,
I have already my own problems.
I can't spend my day
listening to your preaching.
This job is disgusting enough,
can't you see!
Your problem rise
from your indifference.
FART
Aldone, what are you doing?
Farts are one of the main causes
of the ozone hole.
I never fart. I hold myself,
since always!
Then make a petition
and I will sign it like this.
FART
(Giulio) What can I do with you guys.
It's our job.
COMPLAINS
Gosh, yesterday they banned Kevin
from MasterVip!
Didn't you see?
(girl) how did it happen?
They were in the private room
and he ordered some white wine.
White wine in the private room? Unbelievable!
There is a woman in pain!
Didn't you see her?
She's laying down. Madam?
(Giulio) What are you doing!
Is there a doctor?
Madam, how are you?
One thinks about global emissions
famines
genocides in Africa
Tibet oppression by China,
poor people in the nuclear Pakistan
to the exploitation of baboons!
And those stupid ones,
while a woman is about to die
they talk of Kevin being banned
from MasterVip!
What?
Kevin has been banned?
I can't believe it
He was my favourite.
PSYCHOLOGIST CRIES
You can't understand!
I bet 5.000 euro
on Kevin's victory
and what does he do?
He orders white wine.
Shit, this is not a wine bar!
DISCO MUSIC IN THE CAR
CLACSON
Hey boy, move on!
Big car own the streets!
If there are no appropriate biking paths
the streets are everybody's.
ENGINE AND WHEEL NOISE
(man in the car) GOOD LORD!
How rude!
(Armando) Give me a password.
I just need a username
and a password, I need to connect.
(pedestrian) I just have a username.
- I need to look for work.
- I need to chat with my daughter!
- Armando, quit that tablet.
To pay the instalments, you went bankrupt.
Look what happened to yourself!
I need it to look for a job
on Internet.
No, you need it go on social networks
I need to connect
to chat with my daughter.
Take this money.
That's all I have
and some change.
With this you can buy
a good salad
with kale
berries, peanuts, lineseeds
ginger and kombu seaweed.
- Yes.
- Do not buy passwords.
- I won't. Thank you.
- Please, don't do it
- Thank you.
GOOD LORD.
- Good evening.
- Good evening. - Good evening.
You should just walk upstairs.
You do some exercise
and use less electricity.
And the flat complex saves money
Goodbye.
- Goodbye.
- Goodbye.
Let's go.
WOMAN GASPING
Worm, did you pay?
Miss Sharon,
I don't own a TV.
TV makes me sick.
Why should I pay
for the common satellite dish?
I already said it during the assembly
Let's put some solar panels.
If I want to get tanned,
I'll got to a beauty centre.
I don't buy SOLARIUM panels.
- You don't even know what they are.
- You're a cheapskate.
It's just 20 euro.
When people go back home in the evening
They just want to watch MasterVip.
HEART BEATS
You're a loser.
You're such a snobbish.
Get out fromMasterVip!
(Giulio) I won't pay a penis!
(Sharon) What the hell is a penis?
(Franca) Hi honey.
- Hi.
What's up?
They keep asking money
for the satellite dish.
Don't get mad
it's just 20 euro.
I don't care about the money,
it's the principle.
These people spend are all day long
watching a screen
they do not think. They are lobotomized,
they sit there and watch.
How many times have we already
discussed about this?
- 87.
- There you go!
It dipends on how you use TV.
There are interesting programs,
it's not all that negative.
And what about chemical weapons?
And what about chlorofluorocarbons?
What about pesticides? And dead animals?
And the bombs?
Does it depend the way he used them?
Franca, I am vegan and coherent.
I eat only seeds.
You eat salad with mozzarella.
Do you think cows are born
to be squeezed by human beings?
Can I at least choose
what I want to eat?
Can I at least be sorry
for all those emptied cows!
GIULIO SNAPS HIS TONGUE
Here's Kyoto. He's the only one who understands me
Look at him.
He's the only one who understands me.
Would you like some seeds?
eat, Kyoto.
Kyoto is vegan too, you know that?
He doesn't it cheese.
Do you know what it means for a mice?
It's an important coherent choice.
That he made for the good sake of this world
but you won't make it.
GIULIO GASPS
(record player) Snow Coat
says: 'Say your mantra'.
Even though I can't change things
I still love myself.
Snow Coat says:
'Speak softly'.
Even though I can't change things
I still love myself
You're stressed.
I'll relax you.
Franca, I am really getting relaxed
Let me do it.
Tomorrow I leave and we won't see each other
for 2 weeks.
It's not the right moment.
It's not the right moment!
Let me do it.
Energetic efficacy
reduction of greenhouse gas
Sustainable forest management
Afforestantion and re-afforestation
Kyoto Protocol.
I love your Kyoto.
Climate change.
(Giulio) Climate changes, oh yes!
I love your protocol.
proposals
development, research.
Research on sustainability
What the penis is this?
It's homeopathic, women stuff
You will get pregnant for sure".
It says this.
You wanted to cheat me
having babies.
Giulio, I am 36.
Don't you get it?
Franca, you know what I think
on procreation.
We are already 7 billion people
polluting this planet
like a virus.
They are still making babies.
Allow me
the only real thing I can do
is not having a baby!
Do you get it?
- And do you know what I think?
- What?
I think you spend your life
doing a hell of nothing.
You do not take action
you do nothing concrete.
What should I do?
I am surrounded by morons!
And what do you do concretely?
Me? I volunteer for Save the Black
Do you know that a cousin thrice removed
of the president of Save the Black
has been investigated
for stealing a scooter.
- His cousin?
- YES!
His cousin?
Do you realise what you're saying?
If you really want to do something, you do it.
If you really want to save the world, you save it.
You can do something in your own small way
but you do nothing.
- You're just a dissatisfied loser.
- Me?
Your words are just farts, Giulio!
When will you be ready to take a dump?
Fine.
- What are you doing?
- I am leaving.
Don't do this, tomorrow I am leaving
Who cares!
I am sorry.
I am sorry a penis!
Goodbye.
(woman) Honey, I am pregnant!
We will have five fat twins.
(man) Great news!
They will properly pollute the planet.
(man 2) Sir, this is not enough money
to corrupt me.
(man 2) I want my stupid son
as a Prime Minister.
(congressman) Not a problem,
but you send me some hookers.
(congressman) I want hookers!
# I crawl, I shuffle,
people steps on me, they hurt me.
# they leave their tracks.
# I can't stand upright.
# I can't stand vertical,
I am bidimensional.
# I follow my horizontal line.
# Everyone is against me, against me.
# Everyone steps one me, everyone against me,
everyone against, everyone steps on me!
# My life
#..a worm life.
# My life
#..defenceless.
# I dance
#..the worm dance.
# Because my life
#..is a worm life.
GAGGING
You're a dissatisfied loser
You always wanted to change the world
but you will never do it.
You complain all the time.
Come with us.
Us who?
VOICES
We are the Salmons,
an eco-sustainable organization
vegan-animalist zero impact,
bio bio bio bio.
We oppose the progress.
VOICES
We are fighting against
the demolition of a park.
VOICES
He is Ermanno Flakesofplaster,
professional conspirator.
Everyone has a microchip here!
She is Tutu, former dancer
now violent pacifist.
Rodolfo Sadly,
former soap opera actor.
My friend, sign to save
this damned park.
He was well-know
for his magnetic look.
- Who is he?
(Rita) He's also part of our group.
? Ennio,
also called The Worst.
(Giulio) The Worst?
Why do you keep him with you?
Because he helps us
to make us feel better.
Right.
And my name is Rita Takeoffyour Shoes
and I finance the group's activities.
Sign, and you will get
this awesome pin
designed by Philip Strac,
a dear friend of mine.
No, thank you. No big deal.
I appreciate it.
VOICES
- Excuse me, what should I sign for?
- for the natural park in Cement Street!
Tomorrow works will start
to be demolished.
- Cement Street?
- YES! That's ridiculous.
We're trying all what we can.
We even contacted Roberto Savehim
but he never answered.
- Roberto Savehim?
- YES.
- And he didn't answer?
- He didn't.
I will help you.
Now let's go back
to the park
where we left Giulio
and his pink pigeon.
(Billboards) This neighbourhood
will kick away all ugliness.
Therefore we choose
a special supporter
a big champion,
and a dear friend of mine.
Alessandro The Dimwit.
Hi, I am Alessandro The Dimwit.
I like too the Upcoming Beautiful.
We can't stop the future,
we can't stop the progress.
And especially, we can't stop
the new Beauty.
On the contrary, you can and you must stop it.
My name is Giulio Worm.
This pink pigeon
lives in this parc
and is a protected specie.
This bird has a right to live.
Thatsenough with the SUVs
that pollute the air we breath!
(together) Thatsenough!
- Thatsenough with the illegal developments!
(together) Thatsenough!
With the mobile phones that keep us
constantly uselessly connected!
Thatsenough!
With the monosodium glutamate,
with the lifts, with the dextrose!
Thatsenough!
and most of all Thatsenough
to talent shows like MasterVip!
Thatsss
No
No, he's still alive.
Fly, fly in the air!
He's a moron.
WOMAN GASPING
(man) My legs can't make it anymore.
What happened?
Are you still upset with me?
I know you don't like Save the Black
but for me they are important.
Is there anything I can do?
Do you want me to stay?
For the last time.
If you want, I'll stay.
KISS
I'll call you as soon as I can.
DOOR SLAMMING
BELLRING
I knew you would not...
We know the truth,
the church has always lied to you.
At the end of the world billions of people will die
and you as well.
Giulio!
How do you know my name?
Giulio Worm, first desk on the right!
- Excuse me, who are you?
- I am Alfonzo.
- Alfonzo Scribbles. Do you remember?
- I don't.
- The one who wanted to be a usher.
- The usher
I want to be a usher.
Yes, yes.
How many wasted classes.
What do you want from me?
I am not an usher, because people
don't go out anymore.
I am a precarious, working here and there
- What about you?
- None of your business!
Fine, come in.
But I don't feel talking .
Where was I wrong, Alfonzo?
I've always said the right things.
Maybe sometime I exaggerate, I know.
Do some good,
it's just what I want.
Everyone is always against me, can you believe that?
First my parents
and now my girlfriend.
I live
in the torturous awareness
of the shit that surrounds us all.
Nobody listens to me,
nobody understands me.
- Nobody listens to me!
- Excuse me, what did you say again?
What?
Alfonzo, I've been talking for one hour!
I was thinking about something else. Tell me everything.
I can't stand it anymore,
I can't stand it anymore!
Giulio, don't do this..
- Maybe I can help you.
- How?
You know we use only 20% of our brain, right?
What is this?
What is this?
Shall I try?
I'll try, it can't get worse than this
With this one you will use
only 2% of your brain
Two?
Two per cent?
I don't want it, I want to spit it out!
- Tell me something disgusting.
- Rats!
- Sewer rats!
- No, I love rats.
Tell me something else.
VOICES
It's good, isn't it?
I wanna fuck!
Wait, I must do something
I've been holding for the last 30 years.
FARTS
DOORBELL
Who's that?
- Who's that?
- Worm, what's all this noise?
INAUDIBLE VOICE
INAUDIBLE VOICE
INAUDIBLE VOUCE
What are you doing?
Did you break the drainage?
I didn't.
(mumbling) I've been really sick.
I can't understand you
I could not handle
Kevin's ban
from MasterVip.
- Are you taking the mickey of me?
You don't watch MasterVip.
He ordered some white wine in the private room!
Unbelievable
I know.
He's so stupid. Did you see him?
Sure! Did you see Tatiana?
- Her breast implant popped.
- Poor girl!
She cried so much when it popped!
Bum!
Bum!
I was talking about that with my girlfriends
at the beauty centre.
All those implants popping out!
- Did you see Michael's pack?
- Do you think is real?
Down there it's all fake,
It's all pumped up!
I had no idea.
Worm, I need that money for the satellite dish
Were your parents thiefs?
They stole two stars
and put them in your eyes
They stole two melons
and put them in your boob
You make me blush.
- Did you buy a new bed?
- I did.
Can I help you to put it together?
Done?
Can I get a puff?
BURP
Honey, we didn't use protection.
What the fuck do I care!
W're 7 billion people,
one more, one less, who cares
Where are you going?
No, that's my favourite fleece!
We are inside the truth
Giulio you live here too?
Alfonzo Scribbles!
You changed my life,
let me kiss you!
Feel like grabbing something to eat?
Let's go, take the LIFT!
After you, madam.
(Giulio) What the fuck do I care!
You know the only think of the pig you throw away?
No, which one?
The bread!
VOICES
I'll kill your head!
Speaking about pigs
Where can I find sows?
In the pigsty
I mean sluts
You go to the Just Caviar, nice place.
It's expensive though.
Remember the money I lent you
yesterday and all the days before?
Giulio, is it really you?
- I do remember, thank you for that.
- That was a mistake.
Don't, what are you doing?!
- What are you doing?
- What?
- Fine
- I will punch you!
I am sorry.
- Let's go.
- Give me a password at least!
DISCO MUSIC
- How many people?
- Two. - Go ahead.
You go in, you go home.
Can't we go in now?
No, you must be in the list
or must be famous
like a footballplayer.
Watch TV,
Watch the football match!
Excuse me.
I am
Gullit.
- I didn't understand. Who are you?
- Gullit.
No way!
- You are Ruud Gullit?
- Correct.
Sei il mio idol
let's make a selfie!
What a cult! Please, have a good time.
- Take this.
- Thanks.
He's my friend.
(bouncer) Go Milan!
- Suck it!
(girl) Who is he?
- ? Gullit, Golden Ball 1987!
(girl) great Gullit!
- Gullit!
- Ol?! I wanna fuck!
(bodyguard) Guys, get up.
This table is booked.
What the fuck are you talking about?
I paid 5.000 euro!
You must leave it for last minute VIPs.
Unbelievable!
Guys, he's Gullit!
Correct.
VOICES
Get lost!
go go
No, you stay.
Wanna fuck?
- Wanna fuck?
- Something to drink?
- White wine.
- No, that's for losers.
DON PERIGNONE for everyone!
DISCO MUSIC
I'll get fuck!
(girl) You smell like a pig.
And who are you?
I am Maradona.
What the fuck are you saying!
Do you think I am stupid?
Look at this!
Enough, this is occupation
of PUBIC land.
Ruud! Gullit!
Yes, I am Gullit. What's up?
May I introduce you a colleague,
Alessandro The Dimwit.
Champion of our days!
You are not Ruud Gullit.
I recognised you.
You are Giulio Worm.
You are a loser.
I am not Gullit? How do you dare?
- Change.
- Simulation. Bozo!
- Change.
- Ale!
What the fuck are you doing?
Get this go guys !
SMASHED GLASS AND SHOUTING
Come with me
Tonight I am having so much fun!
- Thanks to you, my dear friend.
- I am having fun too.
- I even met Gullit!
- I am Gullit.
How did you manage to get
the bouncer's car?
I got a great idea,
I asked him to lend it to me.
- And what did he say?
- He agreed.
You're so cool!
(Giulio) I am the king of the sidewalk!
I had never driven
an off-road car before.
- an off-road car?
- Yes.
Why are you on the road then?
- What the fuck do I care!
- Watch out!
CRASH
(Giulio) What the fuck?
Car is broken.
They gave me a broken car.
It's a wreck.
What shall we do know?
Cool!
I want a bulldozer!
I wanna fuck!
(Giulio) I'll destroy everything!
Tear down trees!
What the penis is this?
What is this?
No No!
No.
My god.
Kyoto.
Kyoto
What did they do to you?
Who did this to you?
Die, you dirty beast!
Rest in peace, rest in peace.
Wake up.
Ehi!
- What did he gave to me?
- Giulio, my friend!
Friend my penis!
What did he gave to me?
Did he drugged me with drug?
He drugged me!
Don't do this.
We had so much fun.
You are a junk.
He wanted me to become a junk!
Get out of this flat.
Reach the exit immediately.
RINGBELL
And now, who's there?
DOORBELL
Hi, I bought a new night table.
Would you help me to put me together?
Miss, I am very sorry
about what happened yesterday.
I am really embarassed, I wasn't myself.
- Somebody drugged me.
- Giulio, don't treat me like this
He drugged me.
(Alfonzo) Let's get together.
Tonight I can't,
I'll have to work in Unusual Way
Let's get together?
I will kill you, you drugged me!
Get lost!
The park!
- Can you help me?
- My sciatic nerve is inflamed.
The Gipsies did it for sure.
Stop saying the Gipsies are guilty.
The Gipsies are innocent.
It was me.
I'll turn myself in.
- Who was that?
- Probably a Gipsy.
Last night some vandals destroyed
the park in Cement Street.
On the site there was a car belonging
to the bouncer of a well-known disco.
It wasn't me, it's Gullit's fault!
This act of vandalism, however, brought to the light
a sad reality.
The park was meant to be demolished
in place of an eliterian neiighbourhood,
the Upcoming Beautiful.
(journalist) Public opinion
is rising up.
Many citizens are defending the park.
I had no idea what was going on.
Now that the TV is talking about it,
I would fight my life for the park.
Before I didn't care about the park.
But now that it has been vadalized
I do care a lot!
(journalist) The demolishment has been interrupted
and now they are looking for the criminals.
(crowd) We want the park,
we want the park!
(crow) No Upcoming Beautiful,
no Upcoming Beautiful!
(Flakesofplaster) That's amazing,
they managed to get some attention
and awake some social awareness.
(Rita) Probably they're eco-terrorists.
Professionals.
I did it.
HONKING
- Why are you driving the wrong way?
- We are the Salmons.
We always go the wrong way.
HONKING
We'll get killed!
- Where are you bringing me?
- To our super secret headquarters.
Where we'll be left in peace.
(Rita) Today
our leader
showed us the light,
he taught us a great lesson.
Giulio Worm!
Thanks. What
(together) Where?
I found
the force
within myself.
I realized that in order to save something
one has to destroy it first.
(together) Genius!
SNORING
That what I always said.
One must first to dig shit
in order to find gold.
(Salmons, together) YES!
What next?
What next?
SILENCED SHOUTING
Let's share our cove with a group
of wannabe terrorists.
What next?
Do you have any water?
II kamikaze has forged ahead the fire.
- What do you mean?
- He lit himself on fire too early
Water, quick!
Somebody
Water, well said!
Water will be our next gol.
KAMIKAZE LAST BREATH
Nevermind, we don't need it anymore.
Water is the most important good.
We must pollute water.
We must throw waste into the water.
Careful.
I hope you're joking.
Giulio, we must destroy things
in order to make their real value appreciated
You said it!
Yes, Giulio!
Now that you are finally changing the world.
- Isn't that so?
- Isn't that so?
Isn't that so?
Yes, actually, it is.
Thatsenough!
(together) Thatsenough, thatsenough!
- Can we take turns?
- Sure.
Well done! The mirror is the most important
tool for a body builder.
Snow Coat, I am at a crossroads
I don't know which way to go.
Giulio, follow your diaphragm.
I saw a dark light.
I don't know if I should follow it or not.
Remember.
Easier said than done
Evil is in the middle.
(Pippo) Did you watch the news?
Parks are important!
If I should not work, today I would protest.
(Pippo) Me too.
And water pollution?
What do you think about it?
We don't care about water.
I waste it all day long
There's is PLENTLOT of water
What did you bring to pollute water?
I broght my jewelry.
I brought my comics collection
I brought all my awards
I brought my granny!
Good evening.
I brought 12 tons of waste.
(together) Worm! Worm! Worm!
Let's change the history of pollution!
(together) YES!
You're just the opposite of my grandson.
CHEERING
Tonight I can't,
I have to work, in Unsual Way.
Excuse me.
I'll be back.
Madam, you dropped your wallet.
In Unusual Way, I'll give it back to you.
Thanks thief, I knew you would do that.
(thief) I am going to rob!
Excuse me.
I am looking for
Alfonzo, is that you?
Hi sweetie,
can't you see I am working?
What are you doing?
We are reading a book
in Unusual Way.
First of all I wanted to apologize
to kick you out of my house.
Second I wanted to ask you
if you could give me more of those pills.
Fine.
Take this sweetie.
Now you go, I have to work.
Thanks, Alfonzo. You're so beautiful!
bye, bye.
That was quick.
I wanna fuck!
- Follow your breast muscles, Giulio!
- Yes! I wanna fuck!
All inside!
Last night I met a slut o
on Facebook.
I brought her in my SUV
and I kicked it in!
A signature to have Keving be back at MasterVip!
Your signature!
VOICES
MasterVip is important!
(Alfonzo) Where did you get the money
to buy a car?
What the fuck do I care!
At the Lethal Bank.
The veinings!
SIGNAL OF GREEN LINE
Madam, we finished the door.
(voicemail) Here Worm family.
right now we can't answer.
We are probably busy
saving the planet.
Leave a message after the call
of the cerulean warbler.
CALL OF THE CERULEAN WARBLER
Hi Giulio.
"Don't feel down about what happened".
"Together we'll find a solution".
And buy a mobile phone,
even here they have it!
White wine? No!
Call me.
I miss you.
Would you like to fuck me?
Darling!
TV is important .
WEDDING MARCH
(Giulio) Rotation.
I'll split you in 2!
I'll kill your head!
Honey, we look amazing.
What the fuck do I care!
There's the final monster.
You promised to look at the pics together.
Enough with this playing videos!
You switched to the wrong channel.
(TV) "More and more discomforts due
to water pollution.
Today a tramp, while drinking
from of a public fontain
has ingested three batteries
that came out of the pipes.
The homeless man is now in a coma".
Several cases of poisoning
in water pollution
are shocking the all town.
- Alfonzo, do you have more pills?
- I'll kill you. I'll kill you.
..The issue about the park
is now being neglected.
INCOMPREHENSIBLE VOICES
I don't care about the park.
Water is important!
Despite the disagreement of the renown
writer Roberto Savehim
today the park will start
to be demolished
for the development
of the Upcoming Beautiful.
NON AUDIBLE VOICES
You have a lover, I know that.
Who's she? Why we don't talk anymore ?
Why you don't listen to me anymore? Giulio!
That'senough really!
I defeated the final monster!
(together) The first rule
of the Thatsenough is
not talk about the Thatsenough.
The second rule of the Thatsenough is:
until there is Worse there is Hope.
The third rule of the Thatsenough is
- Our leader!
- There!
There!
Good lord, what a nasty person.
Giulio, did they put a microchip in you?
You have been corrupted by the power.
You are low!
Guys, I've been through hard time.
I am back to guide you to the good.
You have grown in number
and I am happy about it.
The more we are the more we are.
We are planning the next action
of pacifist ecoterrorism.
We will pollute the air!
Even more?
Yes! We'll put poisonous phials
inside pigeons.
(Rita) Right, phials inside pigeons!
(together) Yes, Yes, Yes
UNDISTINCT VOICES
Guys, listen to me.
Our action on the water has taken away
people's attention on the park.
Now nobody cares about it.
You said we need to dig shit
in order to find gold.
Right, but shit stinks!
Stay grounded!
Also, the lives of some people are in danger
because of what we did.
We must act legally
if we want to change things.
Legally! We don't like that!
INDISTINCT VOICES
Go!
We must find a way
to let our voices be heard
to influence once and for all
the public opinion
I don't know how I can help,
I can't think of anything.
We know that, The Worst.
This is the answer
from Roberto Savehim.
He wants to meet us,
he cares for the park.
When? Is it not too late?
No, it isnt't.
Tomorrow he will be Milan for an interview
from 8:45 to 8:47.
He can give us
45 seconds in the lift.
(together) Roberto Savehim,
Roberto Savehim!
He's not Roberto Savehim!
Ladies and gentlemen
you're about to assist
to an extraordinary show.
What is he doing?
Just using
the HANDSLEEVES.
That's ? Roberto Savehim.
Bravo!
Okay, he's clean.
Only one of you can come in.
- Shall I go?
- No, The Worst, not you!
Here I am, my name's sono Giulio Worm.
Let's go!
- Fuck is good, right?
- yes, fuck is good!
Suck it!
Giulio, what did you do!
What did you tell him?
What did you tell him?
I didn't take the pill!
- Giulio Worm?
- That's me.
You passed yourself for Gullit
you demolished a park
and polluted the water of Milan.
Yes, I did it.
Arrest me, I deserve it.
Congratulation!
You have been chosen
as the new participant in MasterVip.
- MasterVip?
- You will replace Kevin.
Sign here.
MasterVip?
What the penis..
What the fuck do I care,
I will be in TV!
I can sign 50 more times!
54!
Taxi!
SUSPENCE MUSIC
Where are you going, miss?
- COWARD STREET 31.
- I know where it is.
A friend of mine lives there
we often go to get hookers.
- Here it is. - This is where
my friend Giulio leaves.
I was the best man at his wedding
Giulio who?
Giulio Worm.
SUSPENCE MUSIC
Do you like cassata?
- Sharon?
- Any sugar?
(Sharon) Two spoons for you.
Why is your house inside my house?
Nice, isn't it?
- Where is Giulio?
- You mean my husband?
I don't know, he's always somewhere around.
He never tells me where he goes.
What are you doing here?
I thought you ran away with a Sherichk?
You hurt Giulio him so much!
- He told you that?
- Why, isn't that true?
That's not true.
He's always joking, he's so funny.
He never joked with me.
Since you left
he has evolved.
? he's a real phenomenon.
? is this a candid camera?
Are we on "Let's Prank with Franca"?
I've been away just two weeks.
What the fuck has happened
My god.
Holy cow, she properly fainted!
TV NOISE
Sweetie, fortunately you wake up.
Just in time
for the semi-final of MasterVip.
(TV) Two of them are left,
but they don't know
that another participant
is taking Kevin's place.
Hi. I am Giulio Worm,
I am a solarium person.
What the fuck is he doing there?
I like to have fun.
I hate ipocrisy,
fur on the groin
and people who tells you one thing in your face
and another in your butt.
My values are family,
prostitution,
money and soda.
Soda!
A kiss to my wife Sharon,
I love her so much.
Ladies and Gentlemen
Giulio WORM!
APPLAUSES
"Giulio you can compete in MasterVip
and win a permanent position
in the showbusiness".
?The judges that will help the Master
will be, as usual,
Alessandro The Dimwit, renown football player
and Grace Shampoo, editorial director
of the gossip magazine Whoever.
Now be ready for the test
the nose in the air.
"Let's welcome
the most vip man on earth".
"Giancarlo Billboards!"
You are still here
because I saw something in each of you.
But until you win,
you're still potential losers.
Let's start with the first test.
Inside the private room
the participants will have to handle
5 pure grams of Colombian cocoaine.
Jessica
is waiting to share with them
the precious white powder".
The will have 20 seconds to cut it cooly
and conquer the prey.
What are you doing?
Are you cutting it with a prepaid card?
I can't sniff it like that.
Loser!
I am sorry.
Do think I will ever sniff it with a 10 Euro banknote?
What a trump.
Did he sniff it all?
What an asshole!
This is not an asshole!
- Slut!
- Yes.
- Giulio, come here.
- Yes, Master.
Tonight you were the best.
You're in the final!
APPLAUSES
Thank you, Master.
By winning the semi-final
you can ask to somebody that can help you
in tomorrow's final.
Think of somebody.
Giammaicol, come here.
The temperature at next stop ma
is 20 Centigrees
The itinerary looks smooth.
We'll go through obstructions
and red lights.
(driver) We'll leave as soon
this episode of Mastervip will end.
REPEATING ANNOUNCEMENT
IN BROKEN ENGLISH
Get out of MasterVip!
Giulio, did you decide
who will help you?
Yes, it will be Alfonzo.
- Alfonzo Scribbles.
- That's me!
I am Alfonzo! That's me!
You don't know who I will be!
Let's take a shot!
I have to go, my friend is waiting for me.
(passengers, together) Bravo!
Why didn't he choose me?
I don't understand.
? another person, unbelievable.
I asked myself too the first time he was flirting
He was acting weird. He told me
he was taking a pill.
- A pill?
- Yes, a pill.
? drugged, he's with you
because he's been drugged.
How do you dare?
- Who gave it to him?
- Alfonzo, that stupid friend of his.
The one he chose instead of me.
- And who is?
- Alfonzo!
He was the best man
at our wedding.
- The one with that stupid face.
- The taxi driver!
I can't tell if he drives a taxi.
WHINING
Excuse me, I got an SMS.
"Hi! You are invited
as special guest
to the final episode of MasterVip".
I can't believe it!
What shall I wear? I ask my girlfriends.
- You must bring me with you
- No way.
Sharon.
We must find out
who is the real Giulio Worm.
Yours or mine.
(singing) I am in the final,
I am in the final!
What the penis are you doing?
The pill is having some effect on you
even if you don't take it.
You are addicted.
You must call a medical doctor.
No way! I am fine.
I am in the final,
tomorrow I will be a VIPPO.
Don't break my balls!
This time I'll become famous too,
I feel it.
(Sharon) Are you serious?
- I am.
(Franca) Are you sure?
- I am.
Can we trust you?
You can.
Then it means that...
Good evening.
Are you Alfonzo Scribbles,
the persone that Worm wants with him?
That's me.
The lady should be the special guest.
- Yes, I am his wife
- And I am his fiancee.
(assistant) A fiancee.
That's interesting.
(TV) They were 10,
now 2 are left.
"Only one of them will become
the real MasterVip".
"They will compete
in the most difficult test".
"They will have to abandon their past".
Mirko, come.
Yes, Master.
In order to become a real MasterVip
you will need to deprive yourself
of your past as a loser.
You have to tell to fuck off
the person you care mostly,
in your case, your mum.
No problem.
Mirko.
You are so gorgeous
under the lights!
You never call me. Aunt Maria
bought a new donkey.
Mamma, leave me alone,
I am becoming a vip.
I brought this just for you,
you should eat il all.
It's the parmigiana
of fat eggplants.
I put some bacon,
smoked cheese
mozzarella, egg bites,
a few little meatballs
- I even put some omelets
- Mummy, I missed you!
(Billboards, in english) Good Heaven!
Well done, honey.
CONFUSED VOICES
Giulio, come here.
Yes, Master.
You too will have to delete your past
and tell to fuck off to your best friend,
the same one you thought
would help you.
It was a trick so you would call
a person you loved.
First you will have to leave
your wife Sharon.
On that table there are the divorce papers.
Sign them.
(Sharon) Don't do it!
Excuse me.
Darling, don't sign,
these people are stupid.
Forgive me, I am a fan of yours.
Nice to meet you, Sharon.
You are awesome ALIVE!
I love your accessories.
You can't leave your wife
for a TV show!
Sharon, I am leaving you.
I am a SEX SINGLE
and I can't live with you. Look!
Giulio Worm.
You know what I do with this?
I am throwing it away!
APPLAUSES
What the fuck do I care!
Giulio, don't leave me,
let me stay with you.
We can be vip together.
JURIST!
How could I ever leave
my dearest friend?
If I am here it's because of him.
I hate him!
You ruined my life by giving me that pill
What pill?
Everyone should know it.
This man drugged me
wit a pill that activates
only 2% of your brain.
Alfonzo, you are not my friend.
You are just
my DRUGGER!
He's just my DRUGGER.
Now leave me alone!
You gave me the chance to participate
to this amazing show
and I am winning!
Bravo, Giulio. You tell to fuck off
even to your best friend.
There is still one test.
Another dear person,
your ex-girlfriend Franca.
You must get rid of her as well
in order to become a real MasterVip.
Hi, Giulio.
- Do you recognize me?
- I do.
How are you?
I am very well and I feel even better
when I will tell you to fuck off.
If you want to repudiate me, that's OK.
Knowing that you are finally happy,
even though you are a different person
Do you like it?
to me it's a Liberation.
I love you.
Evidently I was the one who was blocking you.
Evidently, evidently
Franca, I am sick, I am drugged.
Alfonzo drugged me.
Call a doctor,
we need to know what kind of drug is.
Giulio, the drug has nothing to do with it.
Alfonzo explained me everything.
The pill does not exist.
It was your imagination.
What the penis are you talking about?
When you left, he rang the bell,
he was a Jehovah Witness
He gave me the pill. Alfonzo!
Alfonzo! Where is he?
Tell her!
Tell her that you drugged me.
Giulio, that's not true
You slammed the door,
you didn't let me in.
What...
And what about that time
in Unusual Way,
where you worked?
You gave the package,
you were a trans.
I drive the tram, I am not a trans.
OK, come in. But I don't feel talking
that much
I will try, it can't go worse than this.
I wanna fuck!
You were quick.
WHINING
What's happening to him?
People who participate
to this talent show
believe they can become important,
but that's not true.
Because
with all these media bombing
nobody knows what the truth is anymore
Ecology is important
as far as TV talks about it
We watch TV
and we want to be part of it.
Everyone wants to be in the showbusiness.
But what's left after the showbusiness?
Do you ever think about it?
Just garbage!
Just garbage
Garbage.
This act of sincerity
was amazing.
Giulio Worm, you are a MasterVip!
Bravo, bravo.
- Mum
- Our son is famous.
- I am touched!
- Son!
Dad, mum!
I am the TV!
ALARM CLOCK
ALARM CLOCK
ALARM CLOCK
Stop it!
Mine always works in the morning.
BUZZ
The head physician is here.
- Head physician, how is it going?
- A little bit of cough, just a little bit.
Not you, Giulio!
Ah, you mean him?
I have two news.
A good one and a bad one.
Tell us the bad one first.
The bad one is that unfortunately
we don't know when he will recover.
It can happen in a second, tac!
One second, two seconds, tac!
It can happen on a month,
a year, a century
We don't know, we don't know.
And the good one?
The good one?
I won 5.000 euro
to the Scratch and Win.
- Congratulations, head physician.
- Congratulations.
(head physicians) I must go now.
I let the psychologist speak.
He will give you all the details.
VOICES
Right now in his head
there's a tough fight.
(Tough, tough, tough)
DISCO MUSIC
LATIN AMERICAN MUSIC
What happened to him?
As a child Giulio created
his own social awareness
as an answer
to the ignorance of his parents
who preferred watching TV
rather than playing with him.
Good Lord!
As the time went by
he developed a dormant bipolarity.
Until he met Alfonzo
I want to be an usher.
..Something snapped inside of him.
He invented that pill
to justify that attitude of the average italian
that he wanted so much to take on.
Done?
Who better than a stupid old friend
that could give him that pill?
On one side an extreme altruist,
on the other somebody who doesn't give a damn,
a bold man against a hippie
DISCO MUSIC
LATIN AMERICAN MUSIC
Good Lord!
Giulio! How are you?
Honey, do you still want a divorce?
Giulio, did you sleep well?
I must pee.
- Can you go with me?
- I will.
VOICES
ALARM CLOCK
(journalist) Watch out,
the trump is awaking too!
- We must go to the park.
- We can take my taxi.
- Do you have a taxi?
- I do.
- Let's go.
- No, first you have to call me.
- How?
- You have to.
- Give me your mobile phone.
- 3 6 1 4
No, your mobile phone, give it to me.
Taxi, tell me.
Good morning. I need a taxi
in front of Saint Loop Hospital
One moment please.
- Idiot 81 in four second.
- Okay, thanks.
- Did you call me?
- Yes, I did.
- Are you the winner of MasterVip?
- Alfonzo, it's me, Giulio!
How cool!
Go.
- Where to?
- The park, Cement Street 81.
Fine!
To the park!
Non disappoint yourself, Giulio.
I am your friend.
All what is shaved off
will grow stronger again.
Who said that?
My beautician.
? very good.
Thanks, Alfonzo! Thanks.
Thanks!
I am your friend too.
We must talk with Billboards
We could get in pretending we work
for the furnace maintenance
You, Rodolfo, you could use
your acting skills.
My friend, I have no time to lose, get it?
We called us for to repair that damned furnace.
We don't believe you at all.
They won't believe you
but you'll use your magnetic look.
The Worst, you can mind your fucking business
and stay here.
- Where is The Worst?
- Who knows!
(together) Yes!
Tutu, you could use your dancing skills.
You will enchant the surveillance
with a fantastic modern fairytale.
CLASSICAL MUSIC
Gosh!
- Holy cow!
- What a fantastic modern fairytale.
That's pure poetry.
Rita, thanks to your current assets
you will distract the cleaning woman.
You can't go through here,
I have just cleaned.
(Giulio) When we will reach
Billboard's robot
then you, Flakesofplaster,
you will use your conspirator skills.
(robot) I will destroy with my laser ray.
Wait, robot. Don't you realize
you have been programmed as well,
controlled, maneuvered
as a puppet?
You got a microchip too.
Listen to me, robot.
This is not life.
You opened my eyes.
(robot) Actually I didn't like it,
I felt exploited
Alfonzo, you can use
your usher skills
to make go out the seven politicians
who Billboard is corrupting.
Yes, it can be done
But we are already here...
We have an appointment.
Hi.
My name is Giulio Worm,
I have an appointment with Billboards.
Please, come in.
Giulio, we are all with you!
RINGTONE 1
I do not like it at all.
RINGTONE 2
This one! This one is really cool.
Nice one!
(Giulio) At the end you destroyed the park.
Shortly we'll set the base for the Upcoming Beautiful.
The beauty attract a hell of a lot.
Hyper-luxe penthouses, parking lots,
swimming-pools, shopping malls.
- A money machine.
- You got it, finally.
Yes, but I know more than that.
Do you know what
the beautician of a friend of mine says?
- What the fuck do I care!
- Listen to me.
All what is shaved off
will grow stronger than before.
- Stronger than your bricks!
- What do you say? Speak my language.
(imitating Billboads) The brick is out.
You can still make some profit with the bricks
but real money is earned with dreams
Do you know what colour is
today's dream?
- It's green.
- What do you mean?
Biological, nature,
those kind of bullshit,
the veganism, the animalism, the ginger,
all this is business
This area has a great value.
- You know which one?
- No. Be clear, Worm.
It's not green.
We have the opportunity
to make this area alive again
together, you and I.
We can do it in the spotlights.
- Spotlights?
- Yes!
I propose you to realize
the first talent-show ever
creating real labour.
A Talent show!
Cool, what a genious!
I left the home keys in the car.
(man) Opl, opl!
- Goodbye.
I wanted to be a singer,
then I wanted to be a vip.
Now I know where my skills were hiding.
In this hoe!
(TV) The hoer,
the very first talent show
to repopulate green areas
and creates labour.
In the next episode
the wannabe hoers
will have to create multicolour flowerbeds,
plant a tree
and dig a lake for the ducks".
?At the end, only one of them
will become a fucking nobody.
The judges will be,
the Itstimetohoe!
Itstimetohoe!
Finally you took a dump, Giulio.
Franca, you were right
I realized there are no compromises.
Nothing is absolutely negative.
For example, I realized you can be a vegan
and eat a roasted pig.
You can donate money charities
at at the same time
waste it on hookers.
You can live healthily
and take lots of drugs.
You can be socially and politically committed
and at the same time not caring a fucking damn,
as far as you live in Italy.
Above all, I realized you are the only one I love.
And Sharon as well
Copulate time.
What are you doing still here?