Intimate Relations (1996) - full transcript

The story that follows
is inspired by true events

#INTIMATE RELATIONS#

Come here. That's a boy.
In you go, in you go!

Joyce, breakfast's ready!

Blimey, Marjorie, this is piping!

Mrs. Clitherow's advertising
for a lodger next door.

It's in the Classified under Vacancies.

It's different for Mrs. Clitherow. She's
a war widow. We don't need a lodger.

Did I say a word about getting
a lodger? - You were about to.

All my life I've provided. I've given two of
your daughters fully catered weddings.

I helped Vernon when he needed it and
still managed to build up a tidy nest egg.



I'm not going to have the neighbors
saying I can't cut the mustard at

this stage of the game
- Putting your foot down, Stanley

Very funny.

No, I've made up my
mind, I m taking a lodger.

He's having the room with the
double bed. - Joyce can have that

Joyce is staying with me.

Joyce! Get down here! And sharpish!

I'll be down in a minute!

Morning.
- Morning, slow poke.

Did you know that Sir
Walter Raleigh's wife.

loved him so much that for
30 years after his death...

she carried his head
around in her handbag

Eat your breakfast and don't
be common.

Mr. Guppy? Maurice?



I am that man. Have been all my life.

Sorry. Do I know you?

I'm Harold.Your brother.

How do you do?
- Hello...

Lemon puff?
- Thanks.

I expect you're wondering
where I sprung from.

You're welcome here,
Harold. You're family.

Even if Morris hasn't seen
you since you were a child.

I was in Australia for a bit. I've been
travelling ever since I left the home,

I just left the Merchant Navy
and decided to look you up.

Missed it. You know, family.

Well, you would.. I expect.

I'll top the pot up.

She'll warm to you, Harold.

I'm sorry if this sounds hard...

...we don't know you,
you're a total stranger.

I only want to get to know him.
Look, he must feel the same.

Spit it out Harold, are you
looking for somewhere to stay?

That's not why I'm here.
He's my brother, he's family.

Maurice has family. I'm his family.

I just don't want any trouble.

Very good, Joyce.

Remember, you are Naiads and
Dryads, spirits of wood and water.

So smile. Smile! Water
nymphs are always happy.

That's not a smile
Pauline, that's a grimace.

They may be free spirits,
but they usually keep in step.

And they always keep their bottoms in.

From the top, Mr. Jarvis.

You have a room to let?

I hope you like dogs, Mr...
- Guppy. Harold Guppy. I love animals.

That's an excellent quality
in a man. Show warm nature.

You never see Mr.
Khrushchev playing with a pet

His name's Princess. After
Princess Margaret Rose.

But it's a boy.
- But he doesn't know that. Upstairs?

Stay, Princess.

That's my husband's room.

He's at work. He's a machine operator.

Always managed to hold
a job. Even with one leg.

Bathroom.

This will be your room.

It has a double bed. - So I see, yes.

You have full use of all facilities.

My gentlemen have always
been part of the family.

They usually call me "mum."
- Just what I'm looking for.

My daughter and I share the back room.

My husband and I keep separate
rooms for medical reasons.

So! Would you like a cup of tea?

There's no need to go
to all this trouble Mrs Beasley.

We don't stint in this
household, Mr. Guppy

Had enough of rationing during the war.

I think you'll find us
very generous. Now, tuck in.

Is that your daughter?
- Maureen, yes.

Living in the Midlands now.

Married a man with property
in Ashby de la Zouch.

I made that wedding dress.

Yes, the little bridesmaid's
- Very professional.

Yes. I'm a devil with the needle.

Come to me with all your mending.

Here's a little bridesmade Joyce.
She's my late blessin'.

Thirteen in a fortnight.
You'll be here for the party.

Are you a local man?

I have family here. That's why I came.

Very close. They moved
here after I was sent away.

Sent away?

Yes, I was 10. My dad was dead.

And my mum couldn't get
a handle on me. I was...

difficult.

So my mum had me sent away.

This is very disturbing, Mr. Guppy.

Well, I was a bit of a
tearaway. She couldn't cope.

I was only ten, but I
was a little beggar.

I got sorted out when I joined
the Navy.

They did tests on me. I had an accident.
Well, I got in a little fight, and,

well, any, anyway... The doctors
got hold of me, did these tests...

What kind of tests?
- Blood tests and such.

Turns out I had low blood sugar,
which caus me to lose my temper.

Now I have a couple of boiled sweets
every day. And I'm happy as Larry.

Roundtrees are the best.
That or a sugar lumo.

But, you haven't been in any trouble.

...have you, Harold?

Don't worry about it.

I was just a bit of a
rapscallion, that's all.

When I was 10.

Yes, well boys will be boys.

See you in the pub.

Marjorie! - That will be Mr. Beasley.

Do me a favor. We agreed on
three pounds for the rent...

but I will tell him it's three
guineas. It s just a little deception.

Whatever you say Mrs. Beasley.

And don't be disturbed
by his missing leg.

Does he have any references?

Oh, Dad, you do show me up. Mr.
Guppy's Navy man, isn't that so?

...careful, we got a young girl
in the house. You understand?

Really Stanley, you are
shocking, it's all been arranged

Now please just remember your manners
and shake on it!

Marjorie! Is that you?

You'll wake Joyce up! - Come
here for a moment, love.

Sit down just a minute.

Stanley!
- I'd like some company, love.

I miss ya, Marjorie. At night.

Remember what the doctor said.

But it's been 6 years
since you had that trouble.

Stanley, you know
i can't risk intimacy

I just need a little...
comfort, love.

Stanley, if If you don't let go,
I'll spill this water on you what's it.

That'll cool down your ardor, a notch.

Come on, love. - For heaven's sake!
Stanley, be a man.

What's up mum?
- Nothing, darling. Run off to bed.

I'll bring you a glass of water.

Mum?
- Yeah?

I'm bleeding.

Down there.
- No need to draw a picture.

Have they told you about this
at school? - I think so.

So. You know what to do then?
- Think so.

Good. We'll find some...equipment that

Maureen left behind in the cupboard.

I'm gonna make us some cocoa then.

Joyce, ever wonder
what your life will be

like when you're a grown woman?

All the time. I'll have a man,
I expect.

Like Montgomery Gift or Dirk Bogart.

He won't go to the pub every night.

He'll stay at home and tell me
things and help me do the washin' up.

I expect he'll be a man with two legs.

Joyce, you know, if ever you're confused

about anythin', if
ever you wanna talk or

anything you want to know, you can

always ask one of your sisters.
- Yes, Mum.

Men aren't the answer though, Joyce.

Will I have to go to school tomorrow?

Yes! Not using this
as an excuse every month

Anvway we've another
lodger moving in tomorrow.

Don't want you getting under his feet.

Are you coming to my birthday
party? -Yes, I have a new dress.

It's going to be the
most wonderful birthday

party ever. Much better
than Valerie Andre

Will there be any boys there?

Better than boys, Pauline.
- What do you mean?

There's going to be a man.
A proper one. - Who is he?

He's our new lodger. He'll
be there for tea.

What does he look like?
- He looks a bit like Montgomery Clift.

What did you girls learn at
school this week, Pauline?

We started biology with Miss Newborn.

Oh. What's that all about, then?

It's th study of living orgasms.

Well I'm off down to the pub.

I think I'll join you. Thanks
for the tea, Mrs Beasley.

What? What have I said?
- Joice you are a disgrace!

You made Mr. Guppy feel
very uncomfortable.

Now when he comes back, I
expect you to be nice to him.

Show him your stamp album or something.

I don't want him off to the pub
with your father every night.

Bang! Blew it clean off. Clean slice.

They dragged me
screamin' into the trench.

Fully conscious. "I lost me leg!

I lost me leg!" Then
I, I hear this voice.

It's the sergeant.

He said, "You haven't
lost your leg, son.

It's over there with my arm."

Started to laugh. He was always the
bastard, that sergeant.

But he saved my life. Made me laugh.

You were very lucky,
Stanley. - Bloody lucky,

In France, they still
employ someone every day

to go out and collect
bones off the battlefield.

My leg could still be out there.

And the sergeant's arm.
- and the sergeant's arm.

Your round, Harold

Best foot forward, Stanley.

Blimey, it's pelting down there.

You're going straight back out again.
Princess needs his constitutional.

No ifs, no buts, no
arguments. Out you go.

No, no need for you to get
another soaking, Harold.

Dad's used to it.

What can I get you? Sandwich, biscuit,
cocoa?

I think I'll just turn in Mrs Beasley.

Now, Harold. What must you call me?

Mum. - That's better.
- I think I'll just turn in, Mum.

I'll have a nice breakfast
ready for you first thing.

Night.
- Good night.

Mr. Guppy.

Have you heard of the hagfish?
- Heard of the what?

It's really nasty. It kills its
victims by wrapping itself around

them so tight that it
digs into their flesh.

And once it's buried itself inside
them, it eats them from the inside out.

Miss Newborn told us that in Biology.

Ah... - Good night!
- Good night!

you missed!
- Come on!

Harold can't get me!
Ah, you're dead! You're...

I'm not, no, me no dead.

Me protected by heap big
magic of sacred tomahawk!

Ah, oh, you monster.
I nearly threw a fit!

Customer, Mrs. Beasley.

Good afternoon, Mrs. Paxon.

It's Mrs. Fox-Davies now. I've
married again - Oh, congratulations.

I've brought my lingerie in to be
cleaned. It's my wedding trousseau.

I never thought the
day would plunge again.

Roland took me to Capri.

Have you ever been
to Capri, Mrs.Beasley?

Isn't that where Gracie Fields lives?
- It's just heavenly.

Yes, my husband doesn't approve of
Gracie Fields. She married an Italian.

It looks just like Elizabeth Taylor.

Yes...
The wages of sin, Pamela. Be warned.

I knew Angela Paxman
when her hair was natural.

She was showin' her scanties
when she was sixteen,

and she's still showin' them now
- Oh, but they're beautiful.

I tell you Pamela.
I'd rather be dead than brazen.

I wouldn't swap places with Angela Fox

whatsit for all the
silk drawers in China.

Remember, people talk,
Pamela. People talk.

I'm really sorry!
- Harold!

Iris! Good Lord, how are you?

I'm fine. How are you settling in?

Very well, I'm a window cleaner.

Got myself a lovely home, nice
family. I've landed on my feet.

Good. You will come
and see us, won't you

Now that you've found us?

Of course. I can't stop now. I have
to get t the shop before it closes.

Harold, come for Christmas.
Maurice would be thrilled.

That's lovely. Thank you.

I've come for the birthday cake.
- All right.

Isn't there any real food
in this house?

Harold? Can I borrow you a tick?

What do you think of our little girl?

Well, how do I look?

Like the belle of the ball
- Thanks.

"Will I grow rich?" Said
the bells of Shore Ditch.

"When will that be?"

Here comes a casualty
I'd be convinced.

In comes a
to chop off your...

...head!

No!

Mum, I don't why you didn't
do this on Saturday night.

It would've been much more
convenient. There's school tomorrow.

It's Joyce's birthday today, not
Saturday. It wouldn't be the same.

It was not wise to let those girls
have so mi cider. They seem quite tipsy,

They'll have hangovers tomorrow.

Oh, nonsense. You
can't get drunk on cider

Not on Whiteley's. It's
a well established firm.

Besides, they're grammar school girls.
Grammar school girls know how to behave

I don't know. The way you see things
sometimes is beyond me.

Your new lodger seems
to have won a few hearts.

He's enjoying himself as much
as the children. They love him.

Yes. Harold certainly has a way with the
little ones. Joyce simply dotes on him.

And he's, uh, very nice looking.

Deirdre. Remember
you're a married woman.

I still got eyes on my head.

Do you know any more
party games, Mr. Guppy?

Do I know any party games?

You want a kiss?
- Sure.

Come here, gorgeous.

You're the apple of my
eye. Don't you forget it.

He always gets maudlin when he's drunk.

You spin it for me will ya?

I'm too old for this sort of thing

I've been longing for this
since you've been here.

Any chance of cocoa, Mum?

We used the last of
the milk in the trifle.

You should've ordered extra.

I had to come, Harold.

I wouldn't have, only...

Well, it's probably the Ruby wine.

Dutch courage.
- What do you want?

Just to talk.

May I sit on the bed?

I like your pajamas, Harold.
They're very distinguished.

I think you should go back
to your room, get some sleep.

I can't sleep. You've got me so
I can't sleep, Harold.

I'm a very lonely woman.

I Don't know whether you've noticed
that, but I am, I'm very lonely.

That color suits you. - Keep your
voice down. Stanley might hear

May I get into bed with you? Please?

Please. I want to. You'll...
You'll make me very happy.

I know I shouldn't.

May I, please?
- No, I don't think you should.

Don't reject me, I couldn't bear it.

Mr. Beasley's always been
very friendly with me.

I don't want to have a scene with him.

It's not wise for you
to get in here with me.

Stanley and I get on very well together.

Don't be angry with me.
- Stop carrying on like this.

I'm really frightened that
Stanley will hear what is goin' on

and come to the wrong conclusion.
- Stop goin' on about that man!?

He's been a beast to me.

know what my life's been like
with that man all these years.

He's made me so miserable.

I just want a little comfort.

That's all.

I've been so sad for such a long time.

I just need to cuddle.

Please.

Stop that.
- I wasn't doing anything

Harold, I'm sorry.

That's all right.
- I'm sorry. I am sorry.

That's all right. Come on.

Oh, hurry up.
Take it off.

Mum?
- It's Joyce, it's Joyce!

Run along to bed, Joyce. You've
had enough excitement for one day.

Why are you in bed with Harold?

Curiosity killed the cat, young miss,
and don't you raise your voice to me.

Come back to our room.
I don't like it on my own.

Since when were you giving
the orders in this house?

Now, just go back to bed.
- No.

Keep your voice down,
you'll wake your father.

Can I get into bed with you?
- No.

There's loads of room on this side.
- I said no. Now scram.

It's not fair. I'll tell Dad.
- Joyce, be quiet!

I don't care if dad wakes up.
it's not fair, it's my birthday!

Well, you may as well get in if it'll
shut you up. Put the landing light off.

You can't allow that.
That's not decent.

Nonsense. There won't be
any harm done I'm her mother.

It's all right.

Now, good night.

Good night.

We'll speak in morning

She's asleep?

I think so. - Good.

Oh, Mum.

Good morning, Harold.

You overslept. You don't want to
be late on your first day of work.

I've packed you a lunch. Sandwiches.
And I've used the last of that nice lamb.

You know cold meat gets
stuck under your plate.

I've prepared you egg. No complaint
- We got our first Christmas card.

From the British Limbless
Ex Servicemen Association.

They're always very prompt.

Hurry up, Harold. You're
walking me to school.

You don't need walking to school, Joyce.

Harold promised me last night.

You do remember last night, Harold?

Come along Harold.

Was that adultery last night, Harold?

Weren't you asleep? - Well, sort of.
It was a bit difficult.

I expect it has to be kept secret

I don't know what you're talkin' about.
You must've been havin' a dream.

If it was adultery, you're
lucky you're not Japanese. - Why?

The Japanese used to crucify men
for adultery. Just the man, that is.

And while he was slowly
dying, he was forced to look on

as his girlfriend was ripped
in two by a pair of bullocks.

That is disgusting. - And King John
hanged three of his wife's boyfriends

over her bed as a warning to her

I don't know where you
get these horrible stories.

What do you do exactly
when you're having adultery?

Well, it isn't the sort of
thing nice people talk about.

It's not decent. They won't like you.

Harold?

Will you kiss me?
- No.

Well, we could go back
there. Nobody will see us.

I just want to know what
it's like. Looks so silly.

You're too young. - I'm thirteen. I
know how to smoke and everything, look.

Stop messin' about, Joyce, you'll
be late for school. Come on.

It's not fair. Harold!You
should be nice to me.

Otherwise I might tell
Dad about the secret.

He might think he's King
John. Then where will you be?

I won't give in to blackmail, Joyce.

Of course not.

What's blackmail?

Oh, Dad! - Oh, Stanley, if you
can't do anything useful,

just get out from under our feet.
- Do you fancy a drink, Harold?

No. Harold's helping us with
the Christmas decorations,

aren't you, Harold?
- Yes, Mum.

Well, I'm off to the...
- To the pub! Yes, see you later.

Don't you have any homework, Joyce?

It's the school holidays, Dad.

Oh, yeah, heh, of course.

Well, I'll see you later then.

How about a glass of Ruby wine?

Thanks. - I want some wine.
- You won't like it.

I'll tell Dad on you.

If you say that one more time,
I swear I'm gonna swing for you.

Here. Have some of mine.

Will you buy me a bicycle
for Christmas, Harold?

If you go on like this, you
won't grow up to t a lady.

Good night, Dad.
- G'night, Mum.

Happy Christmas, everybody.

Happy Christmas.
- It's fantastic.

Say cheese.
- Cheese!

Boy, what has Mummy got for you?

Open wide.

Now, Harold. What must you call me?

Iris was very upset that you
didn't show up last Christmas.

It was a big gesture for her to
invite you. We didn't hear a word.

Well, I couldn't. I can't explain.

Why are you here now?
Are you in trouble

Yeah. No, I don' think so.

Is it your job?
- I haven't got a job

I thought you were a window cleaner.

Oh, that was just for a couple of weeks.

Then I worked at a building site.

What happened?
- I got cold.

How do you pay your rent?

I thought you came back
here to be near your family.

That's me.
I'm all the family you have.

I've only seen you a couple of
times. You seem to be avoiding us.

Suddenly here you are stinking
of whiskey and upsetting my wife.

Do you want me to go?
- Listen, Harold...

I'm not tryin' to push
you away. I'm your brother.

I want to know what's wrong.

Talk to me.

It's my landlady. I've been carrying on

with my landlady like married couple.

You don't mean... Oh, Harold!

Not a platonic relationship.

Yeah, I'm afraid so, Maurice.

Every night for months.

So, how old is this woman, Harold?

Is there sugar in that?

I need sugar.

Thank you, Mrs. Rumperts. -Thank you.

I need this by next Thursday, please.
- Certainly.

What name is it?
- Mrs. Guppy.

Guppy? My lodger's name is Guppy.

Well, I call him my lodger but
really he's one of the family.

Harold Guppy. Any relation?

He's my brother in law.
- Well, isn't that a coincidence?

Yes. Isn't it? Thursday, then?

Mrs Beasley, can I bother
you for a sec?

Yes, Mr. Pugh? - I need a little
help here. Woman's touch,

I've been given the sack, Mrs. Beasley.

Good gracious, why?
- It's a question of morals.

If you take my drift,
it's a matter of decency

Oh, Mrs. Beasley.
I'm gonna have a baby.

Pamela, you silly, silly girl.

I'll fetch your hat and coat.

Clean her up, and send her home.We
can't be having this on the premises.

No use crying over spilt milk, dear.

Mrs. Beasley, what have I done?

I thought that was pretty obvious.
It's a bit late to cry about it.

I met him at a dance.
- Who? - You know. Him.

He took me to the cricket pavilion...
- Spare me the details.

He said he loved me. But
I haven't seen him since.

Well, who can blame him, Pamela?

No decent man is going to hook up with
a girl with morals as loose as that.

Oh, please don't be cruel, Mrs. Beasley.

You know you can't have
your cake and eat it.

It wouldn't be fair on the rest of us!
There are lots of people

who'd like to throw
wind and do as they please.

How many times have I told you...

a lady's reputation is all she has.

I didn't say it'd be easy to keep.

Pamela, Pamela, Pamela.

Please, Mr. Pugh, I need the money.

I'm sorry, Miss Greaves, we can't condone
this sort of behavior in this firm.

We have a role to play in the
community. Responsibilities.

Sorry.

There are times when I thank
the Lord my girls passed their

grammar school entrance exam.

A grammar school girl would
never go for a jaunt with a man.

A moral fiber. Education
is a wonderful thing.

A wonderful thing.

Give over, Joyce, What are you doing?

I picked some flowers.
Aren't they pretty?

Well, you Shouldn't pick
these. You'll wet your bed.

Oh, that's an old wive's tale. And
that's dandelions, not these things.

like being alone with
you. Without Mum, I mean.

I'm glad she bought you the bike. She
buys you lots of presents, doesn't she?

We'd better make tracks. Come on.

I don't want to qo home.
I want to stay here all night!

Catch our deaths!
- No we wouldn't.

We could stay in a hotel.
We passed one down the road.

We couldn't afford it. And
anyway, your dad would murder me.

He's old and stupid. He wouldn't know.

Don't talk like that about your
dad. You're lucky to have one.

He'd skin me alive.

We could wire Mum. Say we had apuncture
or I twisted my ankle or something.

And then we could stay in a hotel
and have a meal with ice cream

Don't be daft, Joyce.

Please, Harold, I want to.

Come on.

Harold, you should do as I say.
Unless youre looking for trouble

I'm afraid all our twin
bedded rooms are occupied.

That's all right. My daughter
and I are used to bunking together.

No luggage?
- No.

Follow me, sir.

I hope you'll both be comfortable.

If you need anything,
just ask for Bunty.

Get into bed, Harold.
- When you're asleep.

Do you think I'm pretty?
- I think you're very pretty.

I'm prettier than Mum.

She's old. She's a grandmother,
and she wears glasses.

You're prettier than Mum, yeah.

You get into bed with Mum.

Yeah.

It's not fair.

You need a shave.
- Do I?

None of the boys i know have to shave.
They just have fluff on their faces.

I like it.

You wanna play a
dangerous game, my girl.

You mustn't carry a
chip on your shoulder.

Don't lecture me, Joyce.
- I'm interested in you.

Everyone's a bloody mind doctor these
days, aren't they? Ask a few questions,

get a few answers, read a few articles

in the Woman's Realm and wham!

All problems solved.

You're just a kid, Joyce.
Stop messin' around with me.

I am not messin' around. I like you.

You don't know me. You
imagine me in a certain way.

What are you goin' on about?

Leave me alone! You don't
give a damn about me!

Harold, you're scaring me.
- Alright.

Now tell me you ddidn't think
about me last night in bed

Harold, don't!
- And you don't lie in bed

and imagine me pressin'
against you, naked.

Even with your eyes closed
you can still se me, can't you?

Every detail...
the heat of my breath on your cheek...

the shape of my mouth,
the smoothness of my skin.

Imagine my skin rubbing against you

through your night dress.
My hips against your hips...

my hands all over you, everywhere.

Imagine. Undressing you.

Harold! - And you let your hands
explore me, don't you?

And you push me down on the bed.

want me to take all your clothes off.

You want me to climb
onto you, and into you.

Deep. Inside you.

It doesn't go away when you
open your eye does it? Look at me.

You can still feel me, can't you?

Yes. 1 feel you.

Joyce.
- Yes?

Don't forget to clean your teeth.

Now you know how it feels like
having someone messing with you

Hey, Mum.

Don't you ever think you are too
old for one of those, my girl.

Now get upstairs and pack some things,
You're gonna stay with Mona and Jack.

If you've laid one finger
on my daughter I'll kill you.

You didn't, did you, Harold?

Did you play games with Joyce?

What if 1 did?

She's my baby. She's just my baby.

No I didn't touch her.

But for God's sake, with all the
carryin' on and what she's seen,

would it really have
mattered if I had?

Oh, Harold. It's different with us.

We're grown ups. Grown ups are
supposed to have these feelings.

What feelings?
- You know. Don't make me say it.

Look, there are no feelings in what we
do, we just go at it like animals rutting.

Harold!
- It's just sex! Lust! Copulation!

Fucking! - Stop it! You are being
deliberately cheap!

But it is cheap the way
we do it! But it is cheap!

How dare you speak to me like that.

I'm not some squalid little tart
ready to be insulted. I am a lady!

See the way 1 look at it, the only
feelings you've got are between your legs.

Filth. Filth.

You're a hip, uh, hippo,

what is that word? You're
a bloody hippo!

I'm going to stay at my brother's.

Yeah, righty o.

I made you some sandwiches.

Can't have my boy getting hungry.

I'm sorry, Harold. It's all my fault.

Everything's my fault.

Cut the crusts off, how you
like them. - Thanks.

I've tried my best.
I'm a good wife

and good a mother.
You can ask anybody that.

Anybody.

Just not satisfied, that's all.

And that's pride.

I opened that tin of sardines.
I know you h your eye on them.

I do have feelings, Harold.

I need. I need...

I need you.

I've joined the Army.
- What?

You've done what Harold? - I joined
the Army. 12 year engagement.

Find something you
like and stick with it.

You've had your chanches.
- I don't have any qualifications.

You don't need qualifications.

I think it'll be good for me.
- It's that woman, isn't it?

She's been driving me nuts,

But you don't want to
join the Army, Harold

Believe me. I served 11 years myself.

You're not cut out for it.

1 just don't think you'd like it.

I grew up in reform schools. 1 spent
all those years in the Merchant Navy.

I like being told what
to do, I'm used to it.

Don't worry I'll be all right.

Where will you be posted?

I asked to be sent as
far from here as possible.

Dear Harold. Please come back
home. I will be just a mother to you.

I would be so happy to do just
your cooking, washing and ironing.

Think what comfort you've
had for two pounds a week.

Baths when you like...
Cook what you like for breakfast.

Just let me see you.

If you're worried about the
money, I have enough money

to buy you out of the army.

30 pounds is a lot money,
but it's worth it fo you.

Please write to me soon.
I shall write to you every day.

I enclose a postal order for
five shillings. Love, Mum.

P.S. Do you know where
the red handled pliers are?

Hello, Mrs. Guppy.

Good afternoon.

Have you heard from Harold recently?

Oh, yes. We correspond regularly.

Does he seem happy to you?
With the Army - yes.

Army life suits him down to the ground.

I think he needs the
discipline, don't you?

And there's his girlfriend, of course.

Jean. He's going to pop the question.

But here I am telling you. I expect
you know all about it, don't you?

Oh, yes, he tells me
everything. Like a son me.

Princess Margaret's
personal message issued

from Clearance House
began with these words.

"I would like it to be known
that I have decided not to..."

"...marry group Captain
Peter Townsend."

"Mindful of the church's teaching that

Christian marriage is indissoluble,"

...and conscious of my duty to the
Commonwealth,

"1 have resolved to put these
considerations before any others."

The love and affection,
sympathy and understanding,

of a nation and Commonwealth...

go out to Princess Margaret
in her couragous decision.

It's so sad, isn't it?

That poor man. How
could she do that to him?

I don't understand.

King Edward gave up his
throne for Mrs. Simpson.

Princess Margaret's got nothin' to lose.

She's not the Queen. Poor man.

Come on. Blow your nose and
forget about it, you soft apeth.

Do you remember Mrs. Ellis? Ruth Ellis.

That woman they hanged last Summer.

Oh, yeah.
- I didn't understand her, either.

She shot her lover,
because he was leavin' her.

It doesn't make sense.
I mean, she'd never

get him back once he
was dead, would she?

It's barmy killing somebody for love.

It's just stupid.

I've bought you a present.
- It's a bit early for Christmas.

Oh, Harold!

If 1 ruled the whole world, I would
give up my throne for you, Jean.

Oh, Harold!

Come on, tuck in here, you soft apeth.
Good girl.

Look at that, eh?

Shut up, Pauline,
somebody will hear us.

I want to go home! Leave me alone!

What's going on?
Sounds like World War III

We were just playing.
- I wanna go home!

I hate you, Joyce Beasley! You hurt me!

Joyce! what have you
done to upset Pauline?

She put her hand up my gym slip and
hurt me and she said it was a game.

I want to go home!

And I'll tell you something.

You're not my best friend
anymore, that's for certain.

Valerie Andrews was right
about you. You' peculiar!

What was that all about?

Mum. Harold sent me a birthday card.

He wrote to you?

I don't like to take this tone with
you, Harold. but unless you stop

this nonsense and come home I
will take Joice to police and

tell them about the night
you went to the hotel with her

I'm not bluffing. Harold. I'm doing
this for your own good.

You are family. We all want you back

and will make you happy here. Mum.

P.S. 1 enclose a 10
shilling postal order.

Mrs. Beasley? Telephone!

He said he'd ring back in 5 minutes.

I don't approve of private
use of office equipment!

This is a business, bare that in mind
- Oh, I will, Mr. Pugh, thank you.

Hello?
- Hello? Mum?

When are you coming home, Harold?
- I'm getting married.

I want you to leave me alone.
Stop writing and sending me money.

Bugger!

Calm down. Take a deep breath.

Good boy. Must not get
anxious, it's only mum.

I've got a new start here, mum.
- Now, be quiet, Harold, and listen.

I'm going to send you a check
to get you out of the Army.

Now you've gotta stop this.

Shut up. You've got me at the end of
my tether, if that was your intention.

It's time to come home.
You've had your little jaunt.

If you don't come back soon,
I'm writing

this Jean person you're mixed up with...

and tell her about all
the goings on with Joyce

Oh, how'd you know about Jean?
Who told you about Jean.

I don't mean to be unpleasant, but
I have to be firm for your own good.

Hurt me just as much
as it hurts you, Harold.

Hello? Hello?

Who is it at this time of nigt?
- You go to bed, I'll deal with it.

Are you stayin' for good this time,
Harold?

Well, I dunno. We'll see. No more
messin' about, eh?

No. I mean yes. I'm sorry about...

Yeah, me too. Yeah, all my fault.

Dance?
- No, no

Come on, it's easy. You just count one,
two, three. - Oh, goodness, dear me.

One, two, three, one, two, three.

My foot. - Sorry.

S'all right. Did you know, that in
Victorian times girls in the ballet would

regularly catch fire
from the footlights?

No. - They'd spark up like
Catherine wheels.

Incinerated.
- Terrible.

That's why they're called the Corpse
de Ballet. Keep in time, Harold.

Harold, don't!

I'll go sit down here.

It's old, but in very good condition.
- Yes, I see.

It's been well looked after.
- It's been my pride and joy.

So what do you think, Harold?

120 pounds.

Can you afford it?

Whatever will keep you here
is worth it.

I think it's time we
put your father's tea on.

That.s a pretty flower.

Joyce, that's your fourth glass.
- So? Who's counting?

I am. You'll be drunk.

Can't tell me what
to do. I do as I like.

I don't know what's gotten into you.
You're talking like a proper madame.

Why won't he do it to me?
- Do what?

What he does to you.

Sex. - You disgusting little mare.
Get upstairs

and wash your mouth
out with soap and water.

I thought you were a nice girl, Joyce

Shows what you know, I'm no virgin.

I've been with a boy and
we've had sexual intercourse.

It happened in Slough, so there.

Shut up! Shut up!
- You can't make me.

I don't believe you.

You've been drinking
and are showing off.

There's nothing clever
about telling dirty lies

If Harold doesn't do it to me, I'll make
a noise every night you go into his room

Dad'll get wise to it.
And that's a promise

That'll stop your hanky panky.

I'll give you a good
hiding if you don't stop.

Make me. Make me.

Mum!
- Come on!

No! What are you doing? Harold!

Dad, you can't.

No! Stop it! Get off of me!

It's the answer, Joyce!

No, Harold. No!Let go! I'll tell Dad!

You've got to be cruel
to be kind, Joyce.

No!

Just shut up, Joyce!

That should sober her up.
- What are we to do, Harold?

Don't look at me, she's your daughter.

We could send her to boarding school.

Well, boarding school's expensive.
- Stanley's working. I have savings.

My heritance. - What's going on?

What are you plotting?
You're up to something.

Joyce, darling, how would you
like to go away to boardin' school?

Don't be stupid. You can't
get rid of me that easily.

Don't speak to me like that!

You will do as you are told.

Are you going to stop her?

We have to calm her down
before Stanley gets home.

Joyce, come back here!
Stop messin' about!

This is a right mess!
- Go away!

Listen, Joyce. The best idea is to go
along with this boarding school idea.

Leave me alone!
- You'll probably enjoy it! - Stop it!

Look at all these Mallory Towers
books you've been... - You stupid idiot!

No arguments. She's going.

I might as well kill
you and be done with it!

I hate you! I hate you both!

You little basttard, you!

Both of you, calm down! Stop it!

Lovely evening.

Stanley, there's been an accident.

Marjorie tripped on the stairs
got her foot caught or something...

She's all right. There's
nothing broken. Just a black eye.

Did you push her?
- Course I didn't.

My lady.

What do you want?
- I want to see Maurice.

It's not convenient.
- Can I wait?

I don't wish to be
nasty, Harold, but no,

you can't. I'm sorry, Harold.

Wait a moment, Harold.

I don't understand why you're here.

We've done everything we can to
help you, you won't help yourself.

I think the best thing
for you was the Army.

You were going to
settle down. Get married.

I bought a hat!

But now you're here
with that"woman" again.

We can't do anything more for you.

I want to see my brother.

He doesn't want to see you.
- Is that what he's decided?

Yes.

We have new
responsibilities now, Harold.

We're going to have a baby.

I'm sorry to sound cruel, but...

I we don't think you're the sort of
person we want to have near our child.

I see.

There... That's it.

Good night, Harold.
- Good night, Iris.

Congratulations.

I'm sorry.
- Where's Joyce?

I sent her to Deirdre's.
- At this time of night?

Oh, no. A couple hours
ago, I put her in a cab.

Don't worry. It'll all
come out in the wash.

Mum, this is serious.

Do you understand that?
- No.

I don't think I
understand anything anymore

Just lately I've been putting two and
two together and making five.

I look out that window at
those grey little houses...

and those bloody grey little people.

And my whole life comes
pressing down on me like a roof.

And I think "I'm just empty.

I'm nearly fifty and I've got no life."

God, how do people live like this?

Husbands who grow old,
children who grow up then you die.

Suffering your way out of a
life youVe neve really lived.

It makes me want to scream.

Roar my lungs out because I've
missed the whole point of everything.

To hell with loneliness.
Harold, to hell with loneliness.

Where did you get the knife from?

Oh, we... It was my son, Vernon's.

He, he was a boy scout. I'd,
I don't want to talk about it.

Just think. We've got the
whole night. Just the two of us.

Why don't you go to your husband for
this? - I told you, he's a beast to me.

I don't like it when he touches me.

Well, try to like it.

This has to stop.
- Yes, I know, Harold.

But not tonight.

Don't bolt your food. You'll choke.
- I've got to dash, darling,

I've got a meeting.
- You haven't finished.

Sorry, I haven't got the time.
I'll try and get home early.

What's wrong, duchess? Cheer up.

Honestly. Men.

Deirdre, do you love George?

What sort of a question is that?

Do you have other boyfriends?

Joyce! I'm married!

So is Mum.
She's been married for years.

Joyce, have you been
listening to gossip?

Has someone been telling
you stories abou the war?

What about the war?

Well, there was a time during the war...

when somebody, who must have
been a very nasty sort of person

had nothing better to do than spread
malicious stories about people.

And that person started
a rumor about Mum

Now there were lots of military
types around in town in those days.

And Mum was a lot younger then.

Much more attractive,
especially without her glasses.

She used to take in lodgers.

Now Dad only had one leg,
so she was an easy target.

But they weren't true, Joyce.

You musn't listen to
horrid old stories.

She's a wonderful Mum,
we all know that.

It's not an old story I'm thinkin' of.

Well, what is it, then?

She's has a lodger now.

Joyce! She's a grandmother!

Anyway, we shouldn't be talking
like this in front of the children.

I have to get to school.
Thanks for breakfast

Bye.

Pauline.
- Just ignore her.

What are you doing in the rain?

Are you all right?
- Yes, I'm fine.

You looked a bit glum.
- I came bottom in the Latin test.

It's never happened before.
- I'm used to it.

Pauline...
- Yes?

I'm sorry about... you know.

That's okay. Don't mention it.

Would you like to come to tea tonight?

I That's all right. I have to
study for my French tomorrow, anyway.

So do I.

Some other time, then.
- Yeah, some other time.

You'd better go before
Valerie sees you talkin' to me.

Where's Joyce?
- Oh, Harold. I've no idea.

She didn't come home lunchtime.

She probably went by
Pauline's. Is there a problem?

She won't be at Pauline's. They
don't see eye to eye these days.

She's off sulking somewhere.

She doesn't like my
attitude with your mother.

Now I'm not gonna have a fourteen
year old tell me what to do.

You know, that girl needs a
proper talkin' to about sex.

She has some bad ideas.
- Well, that's no concern of yours.

It's her I'm thinking
about. -Will you go please?

Somebody's gotta put her straight.

That's her mother's place, not yours.
- Your mother is useless.

I mean, did she ever tell you about...

...you know... about...

Call a spade a spade, Fucking, Did
she ever tell you about fucking?

Bobby!

Bobby, let's go home.

Come on.
- Do you know that Joyce masturbates?

She tries to do it with her friends.

How dare you talk of such
filth in front of children?

I'm worried about the girl.
- Give me your hand.

I think you should have her come live
with you. She's in the way at Mum's.

Her place is with her mother.
She's 14.

Now go away or I'll call the police!

Come on, Bobby.

I'm worried for the girl!

Hello, love. What are you doing here?

Dad, I have to talk to you.

You don't have a reputation to keep.

Pete's sake, Harold,
don't listen to the girl.

It's vicious gossip she's picked up.
You know how people talk.

You can't fool me. You're
nothin' more than an old whore,

carrying on with
soldiers during the war.

Even your own daughter
says you're a whore

Leading everybody a dog's life.
Dirty whore making out you're a saint!

Mum, I heard the front door go.

Hello, love. Fancy a cup of cocoa?

May I have a word, old man?

Right.

Harold, are you...

Have you... I want to know.

Have you been having intimate
relations with my wife?

'Course not, Stanley.
Who told you that?

Better go, hadn't I?

Well... you've told me
everything's all right.

So there we are.

I don't see why you can't stay.

As long as you behave
yourself like a gentleman.

All right, then.
- Very well.

I think I should tell you,
um, I've talked to Mum.

And I think I made it all right
between you. In the bed department.

You miserable little sod.

I don't need a pimp to make sexual
arrangements between me and my wife.

I'm only tryin' to help.
- You're two a penny you are.

Calm yourself. You're
going to have a fit!

Here, here. You see these boys
here? You see these boys here?

Yes, yes.
- One of them is worth ten of you.

And most of them have been
dead for thirty four years.

I did my bit, Stanley. - Your bit?!
You're nothin', you're nobody!

Even your own mother couldn't
stand the bloody sight of ya!

He has gone to his sister's.
He's not well and cannot come.

What did you do to him, Harold?

Well, we can do without him.

Not on your wages, we can't.
Get the car.

We don't need him!

Who's going to pay
for Joyce's new blazer?

Stanley may be partially limited, but
he has always been an excellent provider.

Stanley's gone! He's left us to it!

And what are the neighbors
going to make of that?

The Truth?
- Nobody wants the truth, Harold.

nobody wants to be slapped in the
face with our dirty linen.

The truth frightens everybody to death!

Scares the livin' daylights outta me.

I could happily strangle the lot o' you!

You're well enough to be up and about?
- It looks like it!

I took a day off work to bring
them here on wild goose chase!

I suppose you said I hit you!

You must've hit him. He's got a bruise
and a lump on the back of his head.

I won't hit you next
time! I'll kill you!

Go for the police, Joyce.
- No! He said he'd kill us!

You harm one hair on my daughter's
head, and I'll rip your bloody guts out!

You and whose army, peg leg?
- Get out! Get out!

And if you think I'm afraid of
the police, I'll call them myself.

I'll have you for slander!
- Go home, Harold!

What makes you think
she's your daughter?

Get out of here you filthy mongrel!

And you can go with him
if you wish, Marjorie.

What makes you think I want to
go anywhere with that delinquent?

I'm sorry this has happened Harold,
we'll probably be back on Thurdsay

You'll have to be gone by then

Will somebody please tell me what
that was about? I'm in the dark.

It's all right, Stanley. He's gone.

Give us a beer, Mom!

You, oi! Stop messin' about!

What the hell are you doin' here?

I just want to be friendly, Harold.

You could lose me my job.
I've got a good job here.

Why don't you come over tomorrow
lunchtime while Stanley's at the pub?

Bring the car. We can have a picnic.
- Why can't you leave me alone, eh?

There's no need to worry
about Stanley anymore.

That was over a fortnight
ago. Don't ignore us, please.

We miss you. Please come home.
Look, I can handle Stanley.

Sod Stanley. I don't wanna come home.

Do you understand me? You're
old enough to be my mother.

I thought that's why you liked me.

I never liked you. I like girls.

Nice girls with smooth faces.

Not grandmothers. Girls.

Children. Like Joyce.

Fuck off!

I knew you'd come, Harold.

Perfect timing. And I've
done us a lovely picnic.

And Stanley's taken Princess with
him, so they won't be bothering us.

You're looking peaky. Isn't he, Joyce?

Didn't sleep well, nor eaten.

Would you like a Bromoseltzer?
- I've had one.

In the olden days, as a cure
for headaches people ate moss

growing on the heads of
criminals hanging from gibbets,

It's going to be a lovely
day, I can feel it in my bones.

Ready? Here you are then.
Go on, get it.

Go on, bring it. Bring it here.

You! Hey! Come here! Come here!

Princess!

Come, Princess! Wh...! What the?!

Come, Princess!

What do you think about Grace
Kelly becomin' a Princess. Harold?

Didn't she look lovely in the newsreels?

Yes, but it's not like
our royalty, is it?

One of ours wouldn't be able to marry
an actress. It wouldn't be etiquette.

She did look beautiful though.
- Look at poor Princess Margaret Rose.

Now she's the real thing, of course.

But could she marry the man
she loves? No.

And Grace Kelly is
getting all the limelight.

Must feel like a slap in the face.

Last one.

Can I have a go? - No.
- Please, Harold.

Stop whining. You'd
probably end up chop choppin'

your fingers off or somethin'.
- Don't be stupid. I won't hurt myself.

Go and help your mum.

Why don't you go and pick some flowers?

I'm not a baby. I'm fourteen.

Go and pick some flowers,
and let Harold do the fire.

Why don't you come and sit down,
Harold? I've done us a lovely spread.

We should do this more often.

We could go away together.

What about Joyce?
- Joyce will come with us.

Don't talk that rubbish.

You got me into trouble, Mum.

Now, you and Joyce have
got me so messed up.

I spent last night in
jail because of you.

I have to see the
magistrate next week for..

for touchin' a girl at the
swimmin' baths, and it's your fault.

You got me so low.
And it's got to stop.

What are you trying to say?

I'm telling you that if you don't stop
worrying me for the sake of sex...

...then I'm goin' to the police.

I've already written the letter.

If you tell people I touched Joyce...

they'll believe you
after what I've done.

But I'm gonna show you the
letters you sent me in the Army...

begging for me, clamoring after me.

You won't be able to show your face in
the street. You'll have to suffer that.

I'm going to beg for mercy
from the magistr on Wednesday.

i And if I'm lucky, if I'm able,
I'm going to go Yorkshire...

to find my Jeannie, and
beg her to take me back.

That's what I came to tell you.

Oh, Harold.
Your punctuation's terrible.

Got the message
across though, didn't I?

Let's make this the last time.

For what?

You know.

No.
- Harold.

You know you want to.

There's a good boy.

You beast, Why can't you
just leave Harold alone?

Jesus Christ!

Stay in the car, Joyce.

You've broken my jaw!

Shut up then!

Oh, Jesus. Oh.

Mustve cracked it.

It will all come out
now. The whole mess.

The whole mess.

Help us, God.

Keep your head still.
That's it, keep still.

What are you going to do, Mum?

Stupid! Stupid! Bitch!

Don't hurt her!
Mum!

No! You killed my Mum! You
killed my Mum! You killed her!

Harold Guppy was convicted
for the murder Joyce Beasley.

He was sentenced to death.

The sentence was commuted
to life imprisonment.

He was charged for the
murder of Marjorie Beasley

but this was never brought to trial.