Intimacies (Shinmitsusa) (2012) - full transcript

“That's private.”

“So you've been writing.”

“It's old.”

“Where've you been recently?”

“What'll you do?”

“About what?”

“Are you moving in or not?”

“Is it okay?”

“This won't happen again.”

“Do you regret it?”

“Doesn't matter.”



“This just won't happen again.”

“We'd be nothing
more than roommates.”

“What's the rent?”

“70,000 yen.”

“Any other rules?”

“No.”

“I'd like to move in.”

“When?”

“Next month, April 1st.”

“You better not be fooling me.”

“Don't worry, no jokes.”

“I'm hungry.”

“Wanna go out?”

- “Can I shower?”
- “Sure.”



- “Get me something?”
- “Okay.”

“Where're you going?”

“Kobeya near the station.”

“Something sweet.”

“There's the Yurakucho Line
and lots of convenient stores.”

“It's accommodating.”

“It's official then.”

“Thank you.”

Okay.

Can you hear how
you're saying your lines?

I see you're trying to punch
what you're saying strongly.

But what you're emphasizing
is different from what I want.

“So you've been writing”
has emphasis.

“So you've been writing”
punches it.

“So you've been writing.”

Hear the difference?

We're asking you to
punch what Mikki couldn't.

Aren't we?

“So you've been writing.”

“Where've you been recently?”

“Is it okay?”

“Do you regret it?”

But your emphasis, Watanabe,

“So you've been writing.”

“Where've you been recently?”

“Is it okay?”

“Do you regret it?”

It changes everything.

A small voice is trouble.

Your performance gets lost.

Show you're finished
with your dialogue.

Show your turn's done to indicate...

Standing may have confused you.

Sit, sit down.

Let's go again.

Forget emphasis and pass the dialogue.

And listen.

Practice listening,
not speaking.

Change at the transition.

When Mamoru says, “70,000 yen.”

Get hurried and...

Don't Walt.

The dialogue will escape you.

“Any other...”

“Any other... rules” stutters.

If your tempo is off, fine.

Don't get freaked out.

Don't align yourself by timing.

The dialogue, not even that...

Your words normally do
have some kind of rhythm.

Maybe try focusing on that more.

Deliver each line firmly and clearly.

Let's go.

Ready.

Start.

“That's private.”

“So you've been writing.”

“It's old.”

“Where've you been recently?”

“What'll you do?”

“About what?”

“Are you moving in or not?”

“Is it okay?”

“I don't usually talk with so
much passion about politics.”

“I can see why people find
Governor Ishihara appealing.”

“The gruff and irresponsible remarks.”

“His unique insistence
is very charming.”

“To Idiots?”

“I'm just saying”

“there are more idiots than not.”

“It's all majority decision.”

“What's a student know?”

“You're pigeonholing me as a student.”

“You're just a part-timer.”

“I was nice for Kayoko's sake.”

“You're what?”

“Some kind of poet?”

“Get a real job.”

“Nobody cares about you.”

“You part-timer.”

“Stop.”

“You too?”

“What?”

“Just leave.”

You were so angry.

During this?

This video is more confusing.

I think video is quite honest.

It might be.

Video's different from the acting.

It felt more intense at the time.

That's true.

As always.

Watching versus doing.

Will it ever be the same...

That's an actor's ego speaking.

“That guy pisses me off.”

“Who cares?”

“That's why I hate women.”

Akira’s amazing here.

I wasn't acting so I wouldn't know

Acting in this was great.

The performance came easy
without having to think.

Let's go with this cast.

You mean I'd act too?

I wrote it for you.

What?

Nothing.

I'm always acting,
but I end up unsure.

I wanted someone else this time.

This is the best cast.

The best cast...

I was right.

We shouldn't cast ourselves.

We means me either?

The play would be too
gritty if we were to act.

Wouldn't it?

You really mean me.

No, both of us.

The play wouldn't be worse
if we were to act in it.

The script's best part will get lost.

What do you mean?

The subtlety.

The frailty.

That's what makes it good?

I think so.

The most delicate parts would vanish.

I don't know.

You don't?

You're directing so figure it out.

I'm asking because I have.

Your stop.

I'll rewrite it if you want
and you choose the cast.

You're sure?

We talked about...

You're sure?

I will cast Mikki and Aya.

Okay?

Do what you want.

Welcome.

Hi.

What'll it be.

Beer please.

Here.

I'm blood type A.

But I’m not nit-picky.

Everyone says I couldn't be A.

You're organized.

Right, you caught me.

You really did.

That's funny.

A gathering.

A blood competition.

Competition?

You'll compete?

What events?

I couldn't win.

I couldn't either.

You'd give up.

Typical strategy for type B.

Rely on someone else.

You're pretty tough.

I love competition.

A fighter.

At heart.

Are you outspoken?

Of course.

I don't worry if what
I say hurts feelings.

I'm direct about things.

Whatever people think.

It is what It Is.

And your boyfriend?

Let me think....

Yeah, he is type A.

Is he powerful?

Or not really?

Once he blows his top...

That's like me.

Scary.

Maybe he's holding back
until he blows.

Blood type A people tend to do that.

I wonder why I fight with him.

Good question.

We do disagree.

All the time.

Do you yell?

You mean me?

I'm...

Sometimes.

It's too much trouble so I mope.

He is the one pouting?

To you?

What I want to say,
I'm not good at saying.

I can't really communicate it.

Though, I don't have any problem
going up against other people.

But fighting with him...

- You okay
- Yeah.

Not again.

From: Reiko Sawamura

Subject: (None)

Message: Didn't you see me butt-head?

From: Okamoto

Subject: Sorry

Message: The Demo
song was due yesterday but

I'd like more time. I'll
find the melody soon.

Diagram of words.

Words are a train imaginations ride.

All throughout Japan,
imaginations travel.

Route maps of who we are.

Each one of me.

An imagination boarding and exiting.

Like at each and every station.

Stopping at all small stations

are words like local trains.

Expediting our work

are words like express trains.

For only those in the know

are words like rapid trains.

Stopping at only the
most word-packed stations

are also words like bullet trains.

There is coffee left.

Heat some up if you'll be up all night.

Thanks.

You mean don't sleep and read this.

Ticket up.

Here.

Words also in underground darkness.

Arriving and departing subway to subway,
are wicked imaginations.

Sometimes peaking their
faces above-ground,

passing through building valleys,

when the sun bursts forth trying
forcefully to join the high-rises,

Imaginations scrunch their brows.

Sometimes delivered with speed,

words seem convenient
and important things.

Nevertheless.

what Is truly important

is that imaginations exit
at the correct station,

and board the correct word next.

This alone matters.

Therefore,

from convenience of the diagram,

overflowing express trains

and desolate local trains,

which depart simultaneously,

move in unison for a single moment.

Imaginations riding the express

often watch the local with longing.

As 2012 connects Tokyo Metro
Fukutoshin and Tokyu Toyoko lines,

what was once disjointed

may connect this and that.

These are my imaginations.

Parenthetical.

February 3, 2011.

Doutor Coffee in Musashi-Kosudgl.

Parenthetical.

What is this?

- Hi.
- Hey.

Done?

Yeah.

You look worn out.

I'm fine.

Hey, did you hear about the war?

What war?

North Korea's shooting again.

This “the north bursts first” got me.

This looks pretty bad.

Yeah, it does.

Many Missing After North Korean Attack

I'm home.

Did you see this?

Let me sleep.

War.

I know.

I'm the one who emailed you.

You stink.

I stink because I work on my feet.

You're heavy.

You're too light.

Get off and let me sleep.

I read your script.

It's good.

I saw that in your email.

It suits them.

It's amazing.

Is it?

I'm disappointed about
losing Ishihara’s part.

It was causing too many problems.

With momentum too.

I also liked your poem about the trains.

Give me a break.

I liked them all.

Astral projection.

Astral projection.

Sorry, I'm sorry.

My feet are cold.

Yeah, yeah.

From: Okamoto

Subject: demo04

Message: Here's it is.
Tell me if it is not right.

I'll be in the studio Wed/Sat
if you want to complain.

Intimacies Casting

Mamoru -

Kuno Mikki

Kayoko - Aya Ito

Yukie - Urara 1ezuka

Shinnosuke - Taro Nakamura

Noboru - Akira Nishyima

Etsuko - Akiko Katori

Waiter 1 - Kensuke Hayashi

Waiter 2 - Hideo Watanabe

That's that.

Good morning.

All right...

I'm sure some are surprised.

Ryo and I will devote
ourselves to directing.

More specifically,
Ryo is writer and art director.

I will direct.

Tentatively...

Tentatively, that's the plan.

The script changed substantially.

Ryo wrote all night.

We'll look at all these changes
as we read through it.

Let's start with stretching.

Tezuka, loud voice.

Yeah, I'll do my best.

- Just feel it.
- I will.

Relax and squat.

Relax and breath.

Let the strength out.

Is something wrong?

Am I right for this?

I chose you because you are right.

We've got a month.

It seems distant and soon.

Didn't you want to play my part?

You're right for it.

The new script's written for you.

You're both worried about
where you are weak.

So you're losing confidence.

What do you mean weak?

I just mean areas you
don't like about yourself.

Weaknesses, ugliness...
ugliness Is wrong.

Whether it be a quiet voice
or slow responses.

Your weakest points are
your strongest weapons.

I wrote the script that way.

Hmm, what?

You cast our weaknesses?

This time we did.

“I work at a baking factory.”

“You know,”

“I've started to feel I may
never have my own stories.”

“I have nothing myself.”

“Or maybe I do but
people don't expect it.”

“For some reason,”

“I just hate pitying myself.”

Oh?

Don't on me.

' I was worried.

I didn't hear you ring.

You guys okay?

Paju is pretty far north
in Korea, isn't it?

None of affecting us.

There's an American base.

That's dangerous.

I wouldn't know.

Where's the wife?

She's shopping.

Isn't it a crisis situation?

Yeah, but we gotta
shop for food to eat.

Coming-home?

It's not as bad here as you think.

Japan isn't as safe as
you think it is either.

You might-be right.

Oh, she's back.

It's Mikki, Mikki...

Good afternoon.

Good evening.

Good evening.

Hello!

I'm Mikki's brother.

And sister-in-law.

Mom and Dad are worried.

Call them.

I will sometime soon.

Soon?

Anyway, I gotta go.

What's “take care”?

Say “annyeong”.

Good bye!

Peace out.

Peace out.

Bye.

Your brother?

Glad you connected.

Peace out...

How cute.

A new side of you.

Perfect.

Sorry.

I need some new tape.

Some new tape for you.

Let's go.

It's unsettling to look there.

I'll forget who's talking.

Let's turn so it's easier
by facing each other.

Okay.

Ready.

- “Coffee.”
- “Latte.”

“Thank You.”

“That's everything.”

“Make sure.”

“It's fine.”

“Here's yours.”

“I think that's everything.”

“A dryer, underwear, pajamas,
better not check here.”

“I loaned you this?”

“Sorry for stuff like this
‘Better Explanations’ book.”

“I kinda see now...”

No, no, no...

Stop.

Can you look ahead to talk?

I can't look at her?

Once you look,
but start with each other.

I want the interaction at first.

After that, look ahead.

I want to see your faces.

“I was getting flowers.”

“Sorry.”

“It's okay, Dad'll like these.”

“Zoshigaya Cemetery Is big for Tokyo.”

“Almost there.”

“Do you read Soseki?”

“Is it the gigantic one?”

“That's Soseki's grave.”

Don't worry about it.

If Kayoko moves when saying,
“Zoshigaya Cemetery is big for Tokyo,”

Mamoru will get stuck.

You'll struggle if you're unsure.

Oh, okay.

Watch what I did.

“Usually late Sis?”

“I was getting flowers.”

“Sorry.”

‘It's okay, Dad 'll like these.”

“Zoshigaya Cemetery is big for Tokyo.”

“Almost there.”

“is it the gigantic one?”

“That's Soseki's grave.”

“Have you read him?”

“The last half of Kokoro.”

“My textbook had It.”

“Sanshiro is good.
Mineko's the protagonist.”

“The novel shows that men
have never understood women.”

“Why would I enjoy that?”

What you did wasn't good.

Mikki will lose confidence.

We can't handle him so carefully.

You've been rehearsing to
play Mamoru up until now.

And Mikki has been rehearsing
to play Shinnosuke.

You shouldn't try to make him
act in a way that only you can...

Wait, hold on.

That's how I feel.

That anyone can act the way I can.

What about work?

Can we keep talking?

We can but I don't know what about.

All right, let's talk.

Confidence's confidence.

Thinking you can change
others is arrogant.

Let them shatter if they're so fragile.

That will show them.

Inflating confidence
wrongly Is pointless.

You get confidence from others.

Confidence given can be taken.

“So you take the confidence
we gave them...

People just need to trust themselves.

- What can someone do?
- I do agree.

You already have confidence.

I didn't always have it.

I know you didn't at first.

So I respect you.

People don't see you that way.

You've always been strong to them.

So you steal confidence.

That is Wot my fault.

It's trust in yourself, in others.

Isn't that-what's important?

We can't wait around
for their confidence.

Thinking you can change
people is arrogant.

- I'm arrogant?
- Yes.

Left like this, our play
will have no substance.

No substance?

You told them.

They have to understand that their worst
and weakest parts are the most valuable.

Isn't that the point?

They've gotta put in the work.

Of course they do.

The problem though ts you.

Me?

You don't trust anyone.

Everyone knows you don't.

Oh, really?

- Thanks for talking.
- Sure.

Don't change my dialogue.

Then it's up to you.

Change my dialogue, I'll end you.

Interview Session!

Rules

Start with. “Are you not me?”

“No, I am not.”

Am I not you?

No, you are not.

Then who are you?

Well, who are you?

Who do you think I am?

Are you not you?

Do you...

Do you ever feel like you?

Have you ever felt that?

That I am me?

Like...

Do you feel different?

I feel like my ideas are different.

I don't feel I am me.

But.

people around me might think so.

They may be right in seeing that.

Wouldn't those people tell me?

That I am me?

They just might.

Do you like being with people?

I like being around people.

I don't mind being alone.

I don't like it.

You wouldn't choose to be alone.

When you're by yourself or
when you're with others,

do you act different at all?

I guess a bad thing Is that
I'm influenced easily.

That isn't bad though.

It may be both good and bad.

For example,

if everyone hates someone,

if they talk about it,

I get the same feeling strangely.

Do you resist that at all?

I don't resist anything.

I don't resist in that regard.

I'm not really good at
expressing my opinion.

It's weird.

I'm happy if everyone else is.

I don't really think about it.

I mean I think about It,

but I don't let myself buy into it.

I'm scared when I think about it.

People might not understand
even if I said something.

lam very scared
they'd brush me off.

Does anything

scare you?

What do you think?

something must.

something scary.

Sure.

What?

Well, Ryo.

He took off for six months once.

I never asked what he was doing.

That...

If that were to happen again.

That really is what scares me.

You're honest.

This is a secret between us.

Who do you trust the most?

Trust?

Who do you think would never betray you.

My brother probably.

What makes you think he wouldn't?

Because, he saved my life.

We went to the ocean as kids.

I couldn't swim.

He's two years older.

My brother's a great swimmer.

I went out Into the ocean.

Suddenly, something hit my inner tube.

A wave caught me.

I started drowning.

I grabbed onto my brother tightly.

I really did.

Then my brother began
getting pulled under too.

For some reason,
I was strangely calm.

Why?

Why didn't he pull away from me?

If he would've...

He could have...

swam by himself.

I thought I was gonna die.

I refused to let go.

It was our dad.

He noticed and saved us both.

The funny thing Is,

it wasn't that deep.

Maybe about up to my dad's neck.

He was so angry at my brother.

But that experience,

at least for me,

was something awesome we'd shared.

What about it was?

Even if life-threatening,

there are people who risk
themselves for others.

There are.

Ever since then,

I...

I always wonder

if I could be someone like that

to someone else.

What a great story.

What a great story.

What a great story.

What's the next question?

Don't wanna talk?

I don't see why I should.

You know the show
opens in 2 weeks?

I know nothing about you.

Why do this?

Just because.

Not knowing me isn't a problem.

But I want to know.

You know that you don't know.

I think I'm fine with things as is.

Why do you...

always protect yourself?

Why are you so scared?

I don't know.

Why do you try to act so cool.

Do you think you're cool?

Of course not.

Why can't you be yourself?

I don't want to be with
anyone enough to change.

You tell people to do things
but you don't do it yourself.

You told them weakness was their weapon.

So why hide yours?

Why manipulate them?

Yukie and Kayoko's acting is unnatural.

Like they're rehearsing.

Why?

Why's everyone try to change me?

To be around you.

Nobody can stand you otherwise.

Why only me?

Why don't you change?

Sit down.

30 minutes hasn't passed.

— Sit down.

That's the rule.

stay until the end.

ll change.

If you want me to.

What's wrong?

The song Is fantastic.

You can talk to me.

To do what I want to,

I know that I have to change.

I don't know how I should.

Or what I should?

You cant change them.

You understand?

That's how things go.

It's not that I want him to change.

I like him just the way he is.

But,

for him to accept himself as he is
means that he has to change.

Today's Discussion "War"; Should the
Self-Defense Forces be deployed to Korea?

Japan should not go and get involved...

Japan renounced war in
Article 9 of the Constitution.

We don't have military capabilities.

Deploying Self-Defense Forces
goes against this proclamation.

It comes down to that.

Japan says the Self-Defense Forces
don't contradict Article 9.

I think their military capabilities do.

The capabilities of the
the Self-Defense Forces do.

They're militaristic.

My reluctance is because of that belief.

So I don't think they should go.

Interesting.

What do you think Hayashi?

What if there were no security treaty?

Just Article 9.

If that were the case,

should Japan go?

I guess I woulda ask myself
if we should go.

I would probably come up with an answer.

My desire not to go would
be the deciding factor.

So I'd say we shouldn't.

The decision to go surpasses the law
if we take our emotions into account.

The question becomes whether you
yourself would participate in the war.

Then you have a vested interest.

That changes things.

I don't want anyone to go.

Nobody should.

Consider things today.

If the Self-Defense Forces
were to be deployed...

...their families
wouldn't want them to have to go

Subject: Shouldn't we be rehearsing?

Message: This is like playing with fire.

More than the reality of
the Self-Defense Forces,

we don't want people
we know deployed.

I couldn't stay in Japan
if they got involved.

It could be quite damaging.

We'd hate that.

Aya brought up the problem of going
as the Japan Self-Defense Forces.

That's because of Article 9
in the Constitution you said...

Subject: Re: Shouldn't we be rehearsing?

Message: This is bad. The
discussion itself sounds horrible.

What if you consider it
at an Individual level?

My mother is from Hiroshima.

I heard a lot about war from my
grandmother who experienced It.

My mother also grew up
learning about real war.

My mother also told me
quite a bit about the war.

I'm sure that has influenced
my own perception about war.

I would fight tooth and nail
to stop anyone from going.

Absolutely.

The discussion's shifted.

Isn't this an issue that
is pretty close to us?

The problem is about whether you
would join the Self-Defense Forces.

l am not sure whether women would go.

I bet some would want to.

For example...

For example, there are people who
wouldn't go because they don't want to.

For those who want to go,

or for those people around
us who would go,

we can't just abandon
this problem lightly.

This Is...

Really,

it seems most everyone has
some experience with this.

What do you think?

Let's pass over to Mikki.

An email about volunteer soldiers
is getting around a lot lately.

That seems reasonable.

Still,

the Self-Defense Forces
should not get involved.

It's unconstitutional.

Korea wouldn't accept
Japan's assistance.

But If it's up to the individual,

they should have the right to go.

No one should stop them.

I think this is one way to resolve
all of the differing opinions.

You really slipped out of that question.

- Several Japanese Missing
After Paju Explosion

I will lecture today.

Lecture: Overcoming Fear

...Understanding what people
are really afraid of is difficult.

We avoid our fears unconsciously.

Our real fears are not understood
unless we are truly confronted by them.

Humanity is programmed for evasion
the moment we detect pain or suffering.

Past pains instill our fears.

Fears are created by pain in our
childhood as was stated.

This is because the self
of a child is unprotected.

That Is to say,
the self is truly vulnerable.

Damage to the softest, most brittle
areas does not heal over a lifetime.

Fears may be the coating to assists us In
avoiding subsequent harm to these areas.

What would dispose of
this overprotective nature?

When will we say we're okay?

To obtain what we truly desire,

how can we come to say what
must or must not be protected?

Let us look at an example.

Excuse me.

I've got to get to work.

Okay, goodbye.

There is a story we can turn to.

Please imagine, this.

A tribe with old customs is
somewhere in the world today.

This tribe uses bungee jumping to
determine who is to be the leader.

Youths bungee jump
from a cliff in unison.

This is the custom.

The custom is unique in that

the youth to hesitate most,
the youth to jump last,

in other words, the biggest coward
is selected as the next tribal chief.

None of the youths know this.

They understand this custom
as a type of coming-of-age ritual,

or as a ceremony to celebrate
the youths entering adulthood.

Furthermore, the tribe Is
unaware of the world's size.

They believe their
village is the world.

The most cowardly in the village
is the most cowardly in the world.

Getting the most cowardly person
in the world to bungee jump

is a problem of how to go about it.

The solution of the tribe was
to ensure absolute safety.

The lifeline is strong and
a cushion is in place if it breaks.

The cushion is soft and covers
a large area to prevent injury.

Under these conditions,
the brave youths jump one after another.

It almost seems too easy,

they jump without
hesitation to be an adult.

Each jump is met with cheers.

One youth never jumps no
matter how much time passes.

Why won't the boy jump?

He can't help considering “what if.”

The boy does trust
the people of the tribe.

Yet the boy cannot
imagine what will happen.

He considers the possibility of wind
smashing him into the cliff walls.

Suddenly, the boy is ready to jump.

The boy is much more afraid of
losing the tribe's trust than jumping.

Their chief approaches the
boy seeing the hesitance.

The chief Says,
“You don't have to jump.”

The chief promises the tribe will not
refuse the boy whether he jumps or not.

“You should only jump
if you see merit In jumping.”

The chief explains.

The boy considers retreating.

He may be able to delight the tribe who
waits for him to jump with bright eyes.

But how much value ts their delight
versus maintaining his own existence?

How much merit is there in jumping?

The boy learns he is the biggest coward

in the village and in turn the world.

The boy Knows he is safe and trusted.

He is still unable to choose to retreat.

Yet he cannot jump.

Embarrassment and misery
bring tears to his eyes.

He falls to his knees crying.

This is when inspiration struck.

Wouldn't jumping prove to everyone
in the world that anyone can be brave?

Everyone can be brave if the
biggest coward in the world Is.

Proving this would in fact be more
valuable than saving his own life.

Realizing this, the boy jumped.

The tribe exploded in cheers.

The boy was selected as chief
for his inspired reasoning.

This is our example.

The spirit of the boy...

They're not nuclear.

They're not?

The North thinks they do
so they make threats.

The issue is who uses
weapons of mass destruction first.

Why can't they simply drop the bomb?

Korea or America could.

Korea has renounced nuclear weapons.

It'd be better to just blow them up.

It's bad for Japan if they don't.

If everything was coming to an end
that'd be their honorable defeat.

North Korea isn't trying to win the war.

They're trying to secure
their place globally.

That's what they're after.

Isn't it pretty clear who will
win and lose this war?

There's no escape if dropped.

Everybody's going to die.

They would.

- Don't laugh.
- Sorry.

What would happen?

Would there be a draft?

They'd have to change the constitution.

But if, in that case,

I would totally run away.

Right?

It's just way too much.

Having to kill or even die,
I couldn't do it.

No way.

Nobody could.

Like Southeast Asia...

Mikki.

Stop it.

Mikki.

Mikki!

I'd kill all of you
if that happened.

I'd kill a person for each deserter.

What's with you?

I quit.

Stop it.

I'm done.

I'm going to Korea.

You're quitting the role?

The theater?

What else?

I'm joining up to fight.

The ship leaves from Shimonosekl.

Not another for a month.

What about us?

You figure it out.

You are serious?

Some country.

Some war.

This is more important.

Then you play my part.

I don't care.

Ryo.

Get it together.

What's with you guys!

You and I...

we're in this together.

You and I, we're the same.

I value what's important too.

Nobody,

nothing,

can change that.

I'm sorry.

Promise me.

No matter what,

remember this.

What you're about to do,

don't think it won't affect us.

Whatever happens.

All of us,

we believe you are connected
to what we are doing, Mikki.

So,

whatever your choice,

don't think you chose alone.

Got it?

I understand.

I didn't know.

Anything.

I wanna hold you.

I'm too shy.

What about work?

I called in.

Oh.

That's smart.

Where were you?

Thinking about what to do.

- Where?
- Gusto.

Any bright ideas?

We can shut down or postpone?

And if we postpone?

Play the part.

No way.

I'd only have ten days.

Go ahead and hit me.

Go ahead and end me.

How long?

How long until you talk?

Whenever.

Can I ask something?

You're bad at questions,

Am I?

Asking to ask puts people on edge.

Does it?

I wanna relieve tension.

You're bad at it.

You

and I,

why are we together

Do I have to answer?

Not if you don't want to.

Is it about hurting me?

You don't have to worry about that.

Those two things,

they aren't that far apart.

I don't say things because
I don't want to hurt you.

On...

That's sorta flattering.

And sorta sad.

I guess it Is.

It's because I love you.

What ts love?

The desire to be together.

That's not an explanation.

Love can't be explained.

Yet you ask me anyway?

I said you didn't have to tell me.

I don't hate being with you.

We have good times.

Isn't that enough?

I'm not saying my
feelings are uncertain.

I don't know.

Are you uncertain?

No.

Believe me.

I can't.

The idea of emotions Is
already something uncertain.

Is it really?

A feeling starting out as uncertain
evolves to become certain, doesn't it?

I don't know.

You don't?

Wasn't acting like that? —

I've never...

Started something I was uncertain about.

You're lying about that.

Why?

If you aren't lying,
you must simply be lucky.

You gotta understand that.

Quit forcing it on others.

I'm forcing it on people?

I think of you

as an amazing person.

You saying that.

That doesn't make me happy.

I don't just think about the things
that would make you happy.

On.

Why isn't...

Why isn't love enough?

I wonder why.

The direction were heading
is even the same.

This isn't your fault.

This isn't your fault either.

One more thing.

I like reading your writing.

I read.

I learn.

I learn what you're thinking about.

I have to disagree.

You can't know. me from my writing.

There's no other clues about you.

Those aren't my words.

My writing is not what I'm thinking.

You mean...

I've taken them.

Don't misunderstand me as plagiarizing.

I go into the depths.

Where thoughts fall.

I pick them up.

Where's the depths?

Night!

They fall in the night.

I gather them up.

Which means they aren't my words.

Oh.

They really aren't.

That's right.

All I do is rearrange everything.

Diagram of words.

Yeah, that’s right.

Words are a train imaginations ride.

All throughout Japan,

Imaginations travel.

Route maps of who we are.

Each one of me.

An imagination boarding and exiting.

Like at each and every station.

Stopping at all small stations

are words like local trains.

Expediting our work

are words like express trains.

For only those in the know

are words like rapid trains.

Stopping at only the
most word-packed stations

are also words like bullet trains.

Words also race in underground darkness.

Arriving and departing subway to subway

are wicked imaginations.

Sometimes

peaking their faces above-ground,

passing through building valleys,

when the sun bursting forth trying

forcefully to join the high-rises,

Imaginations scrunch their brows.

Sometimes

delivered with speed,

words seem convenient
and important things.

Nevertheless,

what Is truly important

is that imaginations exit
at the correct station,

and board the correct train next.

This alone matters.

Therefore,

from convenience of the diagram,

overflowing express trains

and desolate local trains,

which depart simultaneously,

move in unison

for a single moment.

Imaginations riding the express

often watch the local with longing.

As 2012 connects

Tokyo Metro Fukutoshin

and Tokyu Toyoko lines,

what was once disjointed

may connect this and that.

These are my imaginations.

Parenthetical.

February 3, 2011.

Doutor Coffee in Musashi-Kosugi.

Parenthetical.

Did you really write that at Doutor?

Of course not.

That's what you call
technique or rhetoric.

I'm shocked.

Do you like night
better than day?

Yeah, I do.

I just don't like sunlight.

Oh.

You know,

I take this road home from work.

At this time of year,

the first train you take,

right when it passes,

night begins to break.

I wonder if you've seen it.

I want to show you if you haven't.

I haven't.

I like daybreak.

I also like the night.

The night brings daybreak.

Oh.

For some reason,

I feel like something
important is delivered.

What is it...

...that's important?

Time.

Time with you.

Time without you.

So all the time.

I'm glad.

That's the first question
you've ever asked me.

What?

What?

Really?

True...

I'm sorry.

10 days later.

Thank you for joining us today.

We have a few requests
before the performance.

Please turn off devices with noises or
lights such as cell phones and watches.

Please do not eat, drink, or smoke.

This performance is scheduled
to run for 2 hours and 10 minutes.

There will be no intermissions so
please do what you need to now.

The performance
will begin shortly.

I'm Etsuko Shiomi.

I'm finally an office lady.

Some people look at me now

and need to make jokes.

More on that later.

Mr. Toyamas's invite has
brought me back on stage.

I'm quite nervous.

Northern Poets Is
a fantastic name.

It came about from our
use of Northern Hall.

I'd like to share my own
heartfelt words in poem.

But my absence has given me writer's block.

So I'll share an older poem
of mine entitled, “Question.”

This highly praised-poem garnered
me various invites during high school.

The poem uplifted me,

but also started to
bring me sorrow.

I don't intend to drag you-down.

Shall I begin?

Question.

If everyone in the world
would answer one question,

what would you ask?

Are you happy?

What do you do
when love sours?

What do you do when
you are longing for death?

How do you make
unreasonable choices?

Why are you alive?

Why shouldn't you murder?

What is justice?

What color is love?

What is real kindness?

Where do you come and go?

What's your first memory?

Can you tell me the
miracles you've seen?

Can you tell me
what you're worth?

Am I cool?

Do you like me?

What do you think of me?

Can you love me more?

This is like a question, but it's not.

No requests.

Therefore,

are you not in fact me?

Am I not you?

No, I am not.

Well who are you?

I am you to you.

Why so definitive?

Our bodies are obviously split.

Why not hold my hand?

We will separate.

Why not have sex?

That's the same.

Can we connect not physically?

I withhold.

Why did you withhold?

I'm more than my body.

In what way?

I cant say.

Don't you know?

Not precisely.

There are things
you don't know?

Of course.

There is much I don't.

Then...

I'm just like you.

Then...

a little of you may be me.

What's the next question?

Mamoru Noguchi.

I usually work at
a baking factory.

My poems don't articulate that.

I'll start.

Fireworks.

I have no words
to approach you.

My soul fades like
fireworks into the night.

Each time my words
do not soar in you,

my soul fades even further.

Words are tumbling everywhere.

At a late-night diner.

At a sleepy train station.

Up in the blue sky.

By a light pole soaked in dog urine.

My unignitable words are
oxidized by the surrounding sky.

Oxidized words tumble
down to the ground.

I blame you for not igniting.

I bathe you in my cold words.

I hate my words
extinguishing you.

I refuse your warmth.

I ignore your words.

My words piled on the ground
are ignited by your sparkler.

Unlike beautiful fireworks,
blue, red, and gold in color,

it was like an initial explosion.

The explosion was small,

yet it still resonates in my body.

My soul is suddenly ignited.

This way.

Coffee.

- Latte.
- Thank you.

That's everything.

Make sure.

It's fine.

Here's yours.

I think that’s everything.

A dryer, underwear, pajamas,
better not check here.

I loaned you this?

Sorry for stuff like this
“Better Explanations” book.

I kinda see now.

I'm shocked.

I know.

You've never been this
decisive in the past.

Maybe.

You were different in Thailand.

Sorry.

But...

You know...

There's something I don't get.

Why so sudden?

It hasn't really sunken in.

I treated you well.

Didn't I?

You were kind.

Okay.

Good.

I'm still wondering why.

It's not your fault.

My fault...

Don't say that.

Can you change that fast?

Are you a different person now?

Our relationship has changed.

That's quite stubborn.

Couldn't we just take a break?

My mind's made up.

Hold on.

That's one-sided.

Do you get to decide everything?

No second chance?

Sorry.

I'm not good with words.

I like that about you.

I know I speak too frankly,

even though I shouldn't.

I preferred touching you.

Oh...

It was wrong of me.

I'm sorry.

That doesn't mean you're wrong.

I cant explain.

- I'm sorry.
- I love you.

I thought with you,

we could grow old and
still be happy together.

Can't we?

Why not?

I don't get it.

Tell me.

Because of America?

- I'm going next year.
- That's not it!

At least give me some kind
of advice for the future.

Is there someone else?

No.

That feels...

UM...

like you're blaming
me as a person.

Blame...

You're not?

You don't seem to
hate me right now.

Because I don't.

Well, then...

I guess you just don't
love me anymore.

That's a bit rough.

And sudden.

It's not sudden.

Things may seem like
they re black or white,

but for me, there were
shades of gray.

Oh.

You're saying I didn't notice?

You didn't.

I didn't?

Quit being condescending.

That's selfish.

I'm gonna go.

Finish your latte.

I'm leaving.

Can I still call you?

Sure,

but I may not answer.

Right...

Don't feel bad if I don't.

Bye.

Bye.

Mamoru.

Usually late Sis?

I was getting flowers.

Sorry.

It's okay, Dad 'll like these.

Zoshigaya Cemetery
is big for Tokyo.

Almost there.

Do you read Soseki?

Is it the gigantic one?

That's Soseki's grave.

Have you read him?

The last half of “Kokoro.”

Why?

My textbook had it.

“Sanshiro” is good.

Mineko's the protagonist.

The novel shows that men
have never understood women.

Why would I enjoy that?

- You came.
- Absolutely.

You came too.

I guess.

I'm his sister Yukie Noguchi.

Hello.

This is Kayoko Kanamori.

You came to visit our Dad's grave?

Yes.

The same flowers...

You didn't tell her.

Why didn't you?

It's family stuff.

How old's your Mom?

She's young.

Too old to be pregnant.

Not that old.

I laughed when she
called us to the table

and told us, “I'm pregnant.”

My legs shook In shock.

I couldn't talk.

I found out how that feels.

She was embarrassed,
saying she’s gonna have it.

That's cute.

It was crazy.

I was thrilled.

He's asking what the guy thinks,

like he's her father.

He would.

It's important.

Dad's been dead 6 years.

We knew when Mom dated,
it'd be weird if she didn't.

It was great.

But this is too fast.

That's love.

It is.

That's impossible.

She told us about birth control
when I first started dating.

How old were you?

9th grade.

Oh, wow...

Even then, it's still too late.

Most Moms worry about
9th graders entrance exams.

Dad dying was the
hardest time for her.

You never told me.

I'm why my Mom had
a shotgun wedding.

We're actually not
related by blood.

I know, I heard.

Well, she didn't want
it happening to me.

I used to worry that I was
some kind of big mistake.

What'd I do in 20 years if I
did the same thing as her?

Sorry about your flowers.

We didn't waste It.

Soseki's probably turning
in his grave happily.

Soseki in the grass fits.

Because he wrote
“The Grass Pillow?”

Exactly.

Dating him's gotta be boring.

I wouldn't know yet.

Nice flirty eyes.

How long?

You are dating?

A month.

I had no idea.

You guys are cute.

Such aura.

I'm glad.

How'd you meet if we're
in the same college?

I've known him.

You're younger?

5 years.

1 older than me.

Can I get class notes?

You're literature?

Whatever I have,
but I'm economics.

Yukie's dating a
younger student.

Why're you spouting old news?

- Again.
- I'm single.

You're like an older sister.

I was an only child until
his Dad married my Mom.

He's like the older brother.

You guys are so close.

I'm jealous.

He was so dark at first.
I've put in a lot of work.

I strove to make sure
the house stayed bright.

You're an only child?

- Hometown?
- Kobe.

You don't have an accent.

It's been 3 years.

Ah, Shin!

Why's Shinnosuke calling you?

Because I called him.

She's cute.

She's nice.

She's a bit slutty though.

You're awful.

So, you went to college with her?

You never asked.

I wouldn't have figured it out.

Should we tell her about us?

It's a pain.

Everything's a pain.

I missed my chance.

Shin's gonna come by.

He's Mamoru's roommate.

Shin?

We were postmates.

Postmates?

Post office job.

Don't get involved with him.

What does that mean?

What's going on?

Anniversary of Dad's death.

I don't know what to say...

I don't know what to say...

But it's fine.

This is Kayoko, Shin.

I'm Shinnosuke.

Kayoko.

I work at the post office.

I'm a year ahead of
Yukie at our college.

Acquaintances?

Coincidence.

Have you been to Mamoru's place?

- Let's go.

A 10 minute walk.

Is it okay?

Sure.

Then, let's go.

ll go clean up.

Weird.

Is he hiding something?

Probably.

Lie rather than agree!

They're a new couple.

I had no idea.

I don't know much
about his love life.

Never came up?

Sometimes mine does.

He was single for a while
as far as I know.

You've got someone?

Enough about me.

If I ask about Mamoru,
I'll step on a landmine.

- Then step.
- Really?

So what's Mamoru like?

Asking me?

I don't know him well.

I don't really either.

He's a serious guy.

He struggles sometimes.

He should let things
go but he can't.

If you know that,
you will be fine.

He's really a good guy.

He can be a pain,
but he's all right.

I'm glad, but I knew that already.

You knew?

You would.

You wanted something new?

I didn't expect much.

Here's a secret you don't know.

He's a poet.

The Darjeeling's a pot?

Yes.

Darjeeling for me.

I'll have...

hot chocolate.

Thanks.

You don't like it?

Talking about Mamonu.

Do I seem that way.

Your face says it's
not working out.

I don't see him much.

What an ass.

I don't contact
him much either.

You're both even-keeled.

The spark's still there.

Sweet.

I'm out job hunting too.

Lonely?

I enjoy being alone.

I'm not not lonely.

You wanna go hear
Mamoru's poetry?

He'd turn so red.

You too.
Did he invite you?

Nah, he's too bashful.

Next Sunday at the North Hall.

- He invited you?
- No, Shin did.

Flirting?

He's mature and easy-going.

He seems that way.

I don't have many friends.

Really?

Especially girls.

Oh.

I've done some things.

You're my first girl
friend in a while.

I'm glad.

I hope we'll be friends
even if you break up.

Of course.

I'm so happy.

Shin's also an older guy friend
but he's the first in a long while.

As usual though,
he's a friend of Mamoru's...

You and Mamoru are close.

Well, we met when I was in
9th grade and he was in 10th.

I'm the one who made the effort.

We've gotten along since then.

So...

what'd you think of Shin?

What'd I think?

I trust your intuition.

He's nice and a good listener.

Yukie.

You really like him.

- You think so?
- I do.

I guess I do like him.

You do.

It's a problem if I do.

Why?

I've told him.

About your ex's?

I didn't mention all of them,
but he may think I'm really easy.

You can be great
friends and awful lovers.

Really?

I was once full of myself
crashing into cliques.

It happens.

You know how it goes
keeping the peace.

I have an idea.

Thinking back on it,
I've always been this way.

I can never tell the difference
between friends and lovers?

There were times
when I just did it.

I learned a thing or two.

Yeah.

But I can't this time.

Better to wait.

Yeah, you're right.

What am I supposed to do?

Hmm...

What do you think?

Ask him on a date.

We've gone out 6 or 7 times.

We've gone different places,
something should've happened.

I can't make the move.

Why?

I wouldn't be comfortable together
if I really told him how I feel now.

Shin's not like that,

but I don't want to seem easy.

I'd hate ending that way.

You want his love.

- Yeah.
- I know.

Greedy.

- Really?
- Sure.

You're right.

Can I give advice
as an older woman?

Please!

I don't have much experience.

When I like a guy
I get them to like me.

You're amazing.

There's a trick.

What?

Jealousy.

Jealousy?

They've gotta feel like what
happened, she liked me so much.

The feeling at the moment
their passion ignites.

So like coupling arms with

another guy?

Not that aggressive.

Some people get the
wrong idea about me.

The important thing is to show
him that he's your favorite.

But you said you've
done that already.

Time to use some jealousy.

You're so sneaky.

I just noticed how passionate
things got in the relationship.

I couldn't have planned it.

Was it my brother?

No, before him.

I stole him too.

Wait, wait, hold on.

Hold on, bit, but... I

Would Shin think I'm easy?

Just act like you're friends,
but flirt with him a little.

Absolutely amazing.

Could I do it?

You can and will.

Maybe.

The moment of truth.

Sunday?

Hello.

I'm Etsuko.

Some people may
think I'm Etsuo.

It's a terrible name.

It means “happy man”.

Just awful.

I officially changed my name.

It was a hard decision.

I already had a pen name
which I could've just used.

My parents named me.

Did I need another one
after changing my body.

Isn't it just a label?

I believed an orange
could be a tangerine.

Regardless of whether
we think It's an orange,

people buy tangerines
displayed as tangerines.

Which Is very sad even
though it's not intended.

But it didn't fit me,

So I changed my name.

I've recently written
something new.

I'll read that poem today.

I'll start.

The Rational Soul

The sea of the soul
is forever lonely.

Loneliness its the
nature of the soul.

Even though the soul
despises loneliness,

a single sea of the soul is
a star of absolute loneliness.

The soul becomes a tiny
vessel without any reason.

In the smallest form it has been,
the soul weeps with all its strength.

The soul later comes to know

this vessel is named a body.

The soul still unsure
of its own name,

It then thinks,

I've lost my only security.

Whose hand filled the vessel?

The soul feels trapped by the body

because a lonely soul is always free.

The body resents a selfish soul.

However,

the two become connected,
sharing the knowledge of pain.

The soul ts terrified,

remembering the
pain of separation.

The soul desires escape from
the body yet also wants to stay.

The soul changes the
moment it knows love.

Love is the soul trying
to jump out of the body.

This resembles death,

a longing for another's touch,

wanting again to unite.

For a soul with these desires.

wanting to love and wanting
to be loved are the same.

However,

dragging a soul
out of another body

resembles violence.

Love makes the soul
and body compromise,

allowing the body to
touch another body.

The interaction equal because
body and soul are connected.

Gently trace the skin.

Play together with fingers.

Thinking deeper,
love uses words.

Words are the hands
that can touch the soul.

When words fondle the soul,

the soul reaches sweet climax.

Promises most likely are

several souls connected by words.

souls are extremely fragile,
and words are very harsh.

Eventually there is violence,

like vaginas and penises.

A smile is necessary.

Slightly curling the mouth

to express unintrusive
friendship and bliss.

The soul finally decides to
borrow the body's strength.

The soul smiles and
approaches the body.

The smile returned
by the body Is so natural,

deeply astonishing the soul.

A thought now forms.

Is the hand cupping the sea

not that of the soul's?

A soul that hates loneliness
more than anything.

I'm Mamoru Noguchi.

I work at a baking factory.

You know,

I've started to feel I may
never have my own stories.

I have nothing myself.

Or maybe I do but
people don't expect it.

I just hate pitying myself.

I think unique sorrow isn't
really sorrow or shouldn't be.

I want to write poetry that
isn't related to my identity.

I've said too much.
Let me start.

Violence & Choice

I've often pondered
what violence is.

I may have finally
uncovered the answer.

Forced to believe you haven't
been given a choice,

therefore robbing the basic
freedom of choice, is violence.

This definition can explain more
than just physical violence.

There are two reasons to
oppose physical violence.

It brings people closer to death,
the irreversible loss of choice,

limiting as well as crushing
future chances of choice.

However, this is only
one form of violence.

Violence is not allowing or
preventing belief in choice.

Violence is not just physical,
it can be verbal or psychological.

Violence is not simply the act of
aggression thrown into the world.

Incomplete acts of
violence loom in the air

as spores exploding out constantly
in search for the chance to fertilize.

We have two choices.

Hold these spores inside so
they don't explode outward,

or keep them from being fertilized.

Striking someone is not always
the true essence of violence.

Violence is only completed when
people think they are unjust victims.

This explains how physical punishment
and fights are not always violence.

But an act is violence if it results in
death and robs freedom of choice.

Striking a person expels spores,

which may fertilize if
there is malicious intent.

However, this is not yet violence
because it has not robbed choice.

Violence is in fact completed by
those who think they are victims.

Would they be surprised to know this?

Would they object by saying that
they are purely victims of violence?

They may claim, “I can't choose
because I was struck and insulted.”

“I'm the one who is hurt.”

However, violence is not dependent
on someone hurting or being hurt.

People can make any choice but
Cannot lose the choice to choose.

“People cannot lose
the choice to choose.”

This is not a problem of
tautology as it may seem.

People cultivate violence by
deciding not to choose.

They are unknowingly committing
acts of violence against themselves.

These acts not only
affect themselves,

But they strike out
against all of humanity.

The spores then take root
and contaminate the land.

People must keep
making choices because

making choices is
the act of providing.

Always aimed at the future,
it is synonymous with believing.

Believing in something uncertain
provides the strength for the future.

If people meet with uncertainty
but choose to stay together,

they can give each other strength
by always believing In one another.

However, violence and its
spores will never disappear.

Thus we choose never
to make that choice.

Cheers.

Sorry I'm intruding.

I wanted your feedback.

How was it?

I'd come again.

Please do, thank you.

What'd you think?

It wasn't as bad as
I thought it'd be.

Good, very good.

Really?

How about you?

I honestly liked yours.

It was really good.

Thanks.

I didn't dislike Mamoru's,

but it felt a bit preachy.

Like listening to
a Buddhist sutra.

It kinda went over my head.

It probably was worthwhile
so I really shouldn't compare,

but Etsuko's made more sense to me.

I'm sure it did.

Youth makes one speak frankly.

Whatever.

I loved Mamoru's last one.

So what I wanted to write

was a kind of answer song.

That's why I wanted to talk.

Mamoru's girlfriend,

his sister

and boyfriend?

No, no...

- He's a friend.
- Just a friend.

A friend.

We met last time.

That's right.

I enjoyed both.

Thank you.

First time for everyone else?

What's your name again?

Kayoko Kanamori.

Pretty name.

Really?

I like how it sounds.

I hadn't noticed.

What's wrong?

Oh, nothing.

“Etsuo” doesn't sound good.

No offense to other Etsuos.

It really was a hard
name to live with.

I wasn't a “happy man.”

When did you know?

What?

When did you feel different?

Probably since elementary school.

I knew something was off.

When were you certain?

Watching Kinpacnhi.

With Aya Ueto?

Yeah, I learned about GID
watching her on that show.

What... Gl Joe?

Wait, what's that?

It's from Kochikame.

Okay.

GID is Gender Identity Disorder.

I saw myself in Aya's character.

I was totally confused about
whether I was a him or a her.

Now it doesn't bother me.

I'm fine with transsexual
or even drag queen.

I think I get it.

Just because I knew
doesn't mean I felt normal.

When I wrote a poem spilling
these feelings in high school,

My teacher Mr. Toyama saw talent.

He invited me here.

So many people called me Etsuo
because that's the name I used.

I hated the name
and just left Japan.

I traveled abroad 3 years.

To study?

Just roaming around.

In America, Europe, and finally
southeast Asia to have surgery.

What about money?

I worked reading palms.

What, no way.

I was never a wrist cutter,

but I needed a way
to relieve my suffering.

So I carved my palm,
a sorta self study.

That's crazy.

I made a name for myself
and earned enough money.

When I saved up enough,
I got the surgery.

That's impressive.

Please read mine.

- Sure.
- Really?

I'll be very honest though.

No problem.

Both hands please.

Astonishing, look at this.
Simian lines on both hands.

What kinda name's that?

The line of greatness.

Tokugawa leyasu had them.

Amazing Yukie.

It means that you can be
anything you want.

I don't know what I want to be.

Please read mine too.

Sure.

What's funny?

Nothing, just an inside joke.

Girls hold hands in junior high,
but guys don't touch each other.

Other than athletes, at least.

That's why I love the soft
feeling of guy's palms.

You have really soft hands.

- Really?
- Yeah.

Let me take a look.

You're really attentive to people.

His hands are extremely wrinkly.

Maybe you worry too much.

Your life line's real short.

Is it really?

You're important to many people.

Wait, will I die young?

Palms can change.

It's not absolute
like decided fate.

So, don't worry.

You'll live longer if you
Stop worrying about others.

Quit being so humble.

Live life.

I'm really not over doing It.

I love your hands.

- May I hold 'em?
- Sure.

I don't want Shin to die.

He'll die eventually.

Did I say something wrong?

Why?

I was just stating the obvious.

I don't want Shinnosuke to die.

But you shouldn't refuse
to acknowledge that he will.

This is what's wrong with you.

Oh, okay.

I'll go now.

Show me your hand before you go.

Why?

I don't usually ask, but
I'd like to read yours.

You can't go around
touching people.

Or can queers?

Stop it.

Don't say that.

She wasn't wrong.

She asked.

I apologize.

I'll go.

Thank you all for coming.

Strange party.

Why...

Why'd you meet me?

I felt responsible.

Responsible?

Never mind.

I chose the wrong words.

Sorry.

The wrong words are fine.

Talk to me.

Words are scary.

What're you thinking?

Please just tell me that.

Please.

Are you sure?

Yes.

From deep in my heart.

I was thinking...

if I threw this water,

what would happen?

On me?

Sorry.

Are you angry?

I don't know why you'd be.

Did I do something?

No.

I mean that.

It was just a thought.

The difference between
throwing the water or not.

The thought simply came to me.

There's something subconscious

if that's what you're thinking.

Why do you need
a reason for everything?

Everything?

Maybe you're right.

Seeing that guy yesterday
showed me why you left me.

What guy?

The poet.

Anyway,

I know you didn't cheat on me.

- What then?
- It's just...

Just that...

Your feelings moved to him.

It's not that.

Then what?

It's only been 2 months.

That kind of girl, Hun?

Fine.

How long have you known Yukie?

We were in the same
English club at school.

Be careful.

Of what?

Keep your distance.

Why?

She does anyone.

I know.

Did you?

Why do you care?

Right...

Do you have any
right to be jealous?

Jealous? Me?

I guess that happens...

when people get possessive.

Why are you with him?

He's the worst.

Don't say that.

I'm leaving.

How can you say that?

He's my brother.

Separated at...

I wonder...

What'll happen?

Nothing.

I'm outta here.

By the way,

I've already slept with Yukie.

3 times in 2 years.

How long to heal?

It's just a jammed finger.

What about him?

No response to my email,
I'm sure everything's fine.

You...

Why...

What did you like about him?

His eyes.

Eyes.

Nose and fingers.

Everything.

You really liked him.

Yeah, are you disappointed?

Why?

For my bad taste in men.

Do you believe that?

No, I don't.

Good.

Are you disappointed?

About what?

Do you regret meeting me?

I'm not the brother you expected.

Would you rather not have met?

I'm quite different.

I wanna hold you.

Can I?

We shouldn't.

Right.

Sorry.

No, I'm sorry.

I have a habit of wondering about
the people and things in front of me.

I'm not sure of what to do.

Or I know what to do
but not what's right.

That's absurd.

No, no.

If you know what to do,
you should just do it.

Because I don't know.

I hurt people I don't intend to.

You didn't hurt me.

Not now.

Maybe I'm a slut.

What?

Even if I don't do it,
the urge Is still there.

More than Yukie.

I just feel like melting away.

Is it wrong to love everyone?

You're smart.

What?

What is love?

Not sure, maybe a feeling
that bubbles inside.

Something different from lust?

They're mixed.

That's true.

Do you split them?

What?

Love and lust.

I probably do.

There's no lust in families.

Do you think so?

They're ambiguous.

I wonder if it's wrong of me
to think like this in our society.

In your letter to me,
you wrote that

you were really worried about me.

Why were you worried?

I told you I didn't know.

I wrote it quick one
morning and sent it.

Okay.

Are you worried about me?

I've never worried about you.

Right.

That doesn't mean I don't care.

I'm fine with whoever you are.

That doesn't mean
I'm not interested.

I know.

I was happy you were
who you were when we met.

So I haven't changed?

That's not it.

You have changed.

I didn't know you at all.

I see.

But I was happy.

Just that.

Thank you.

What...

That gives me a way to go on.

I work at the baking
factory 4 days a week.

For 2 years now.

People say Yamazaki Baking
is one of the most grueling jobs.

I've heard.

Real mind-numbing work.

A lot of people quit
after 3 or 4 days.

Only a few haven't.

I'm one.

It's easy for me.

12-hour days with an hour break.

11 hours doing the same thing.

Putting sesame on sweet buns,

adding cherry blossom petals.

I don't mind it.

Everyone looks dead
finishing their shift.

But there are a few who stay on.

They look like zombies.

Do you think you're like that?

You're different than that.

I could even work
another day a week.

I've done it before.

I make 240,000 yen a month.

I'd make 300,000 yen, great right?

It's not bad money,
It's just that...

I'm scared.

It's not like I planned to
work in a baking factory.

But what if it's my dream job.

What's wrong if it is?

Nothing.

It's not that.

Really.

Sorry.

It's my fault.

What I meant to say is

I wanted to meet you.

I'm being honest.

I thought now was
the right time to meet.

I didn't expect my life
to get better or worse.

I just wanted you
to be proud of me...

as your brother, I mean.

I hoped you'd naturally want to
go around bragging about me.

That was my wish.

Proud of you...

I was surprised
that I felt that way.

That's all.

I felt ashamed.

Not about what you really think.

Sorry, that's not right.

Oh.

I'd want to bring my close
friends to your poetry group.

Don't.

I wouldn't if you minded.

But you don't.

You're just scared people will
be bored hearing you read.

Sorry.

Why apologize?

I'm sorry.

I know I'm glad I met you.

So am I.

Then why did you
bring up disappointment?

I've never felt that way.

I just wanted to see you.

I wanted to know
more about you.

I really did.

Maybe I was desperate.

I see.

I really loved Noboru.

He's smart and knows
how to go with the flow.

I admired that.

It actually helped me find direction.

Find direction isn't right.

I guess live...

It made me think about
how one lives in society.

That's why things went south.

The problem was simply
a difference in values.

Maybe it sounds more like
a difference in perspectives.

The world isn't information, ts it?

Being smart and having the
ability to process information

may be vital to living life.

Maybe, I should've stuck it out.

But I started thinking

what if I’m simply
information to him.

something that just
needs processing.

some problem to solve.

I couldn't stop thinking about it.

Did you tell him that?

That I'm not information?

That I'm not a pet, I'm a person?

That I have thoughts and
feelings even if I look dumb?

Should I have to
say those things?

Everything would end.

I don't need to be admired,
just respected.

saying those words
just makes it harder.

Probably true.

That's why I'm glad I met you.

You're not like that.

You know the world
is not information.

You're what I expected.

I longed to meet you.

That's why I was so happy.

I know now It was far
from disappointment.

Ouch.

Oh, sorry.

It still hurts.

Sorry.

They're late.

Huh, what?

I'll get some pickles.

What?

I ran out, so I made some.

- No way.
- They're good.

Bring 'em out sooner.

I Wanted them to marinate.

These...

are sour!

Bad?

Nah, they're good.

Perfect with beer.

Probably European beer.

Really? Great.

They're good, Shin.

These are perfect for
cherry blossom season.

Great, I'll send some.

Don't send them, we'll go to
Harima-zaka like last year.

Cherry blossoms.

I'm moving to Hyogo next month.

I've only sent Mamoru an email.

What'll I do?

Wanna live here?

You quitting your job?

Nope.

They're shipping you
to the countryside?

I'm going to assist the Post Master.

After 3 to 5 years,
I can come back

and become a Post Master.

That sucks.

You'll miss me?

Send me New Year's
and summer greetings.

I will too.

That doesn't solve my lonely
problem.

Such a sweet thing to say.

Where'd you go?

Convenience store by the station.

Thanks for getting these.

I've got a night shift.

Really?

Someone cut their finger off.

I've gotta go in.

See you.

Be careful.

Were we too soon?

What'd you say?

She's asleep...

Have some pickles.

What?

These pickles I made.

Thanks.

I'm transferring to Hyogo.

- Whereabouts?
- Akashi branch.

Near my hometown.

Come and visit when you're back.

I'll send letters.

You write?

To people I like.

Delicious.

Kayoko.

Yeah.

Answer some questions?

Depends on the questions.

What do you like?

Eating and sleeping.

Why?

I like satisfying cravings.

What makes you happy?

When someone shows, me love.

That's for sure.

What about you?

- “When someone shows me love.”
- Besides that.

Okay.

Someone showing gratitude.

Who do you admire?

My Mom.

Why?

She gave me life
and raised me.

And your Dad?

I don't dislike him.

I don't admire him either,
I just have to pay him respect.

- Or did.
- Did?

Think they're the same?

Me?

Admiration and respect.

I have no idea.

Sure.

I never considered It.

I think admiration

is earned by someone
who's different from you.

They dazzle you.

Respect, on the other hand,

is given to someone
who's similar to you.

Did I pass?

What is “similar”?

What I don't like having done to me,
you won't like having done to you.

That's basis of respect.

Good point.

What if I don't mind those
things that you don't like.

There's no way to
know without asking.

Is that why you ask?

I don't know you yet.

Do you ask everyone?

Maybe.

Are you always like that?

Keeping things fresh?

That's hard to do.

It shocks me when people
I Know show their true colors.

Yep.

I hate people who think they
know me and say they respect me.

Harsh.

I am.

That's when I'm most alive.

When everyone's alive?

Yeah, that's it.

When I realize how little
I really Know about the world.

What're you...

thinking now?

I'm wondering why this guy's
asking me these questions.

Seriously?

I asked because I wanted
to know what you thought.

I was thinking about
what you were thinking.

And you were thinking
about what I was thinking.

Talking in circles.

Guess so.

Very true.

Yeah.

Sleepy?

I drank too much.

Go to bed.

Should I set your alarm?

7 please.

Shin.

Coward.

You're back.

You're leaving early.

I get coffee with the paper.

Because you got promoted?

You got my email.

Could've told me sooner.

I'll ask Yukie about moving in.

How about Kayoko?

Too complicated.

I'm falling for Kayoko.

She's falling for me too.

Oh, okay.

I didn't ask her,
but it's obvious.

I know.

Nothing's happened, but...

Whatever, don't worry about me.

It's fine.

Sorry.

It's fine, go.

See you.

I wanna die.

Don't say that.

Forget it.

About Kayoko, it's no big deal.

It's better.

Don't die.

Why not?

I'd miss you.

Am I living for you?

Not just me, but all of our
friends would miss you.

So selfish.

I've got nothing left.

I've lost my words.

I'm completely empty.

Wait 5 years.

What'll happen then?

I'll come support you.

You can do whatever you want.

Are you serious?

Become what you want.

I'll be the Post Master.

Alright?

I'll be back.

Get going.

I'm home.

Welcome back.

I drank too much.

Sorry, I had to go.

Put the key in the mailbox if you
leave before Mamoru's back.

There's coffee.

Eggs and bread are in the fridge.

Take what you like.

Shinnosuke.

Did he tell you?

About Hyogo?

And this place?

Do you want to move in?

I'm not leaving home.

Got it.

Do you have any other friends?

Shinnosuke's leaving you.

I've got Kayoko.

Until she gets a job.

Shin.

I've got a crush on Shin.

What'll I do?

Forget about him.

Why?

Shinnosuke is too good for you.

Why would you say that?

Shinnosuke's a nice guy.

Not just to you.

You got the wrong idea.

Why are you talking down to me?

I'm worried about you.

You can't be supportive?

Supportive?

What would change?

Kayoko's too good.

She's far too good

to be with a guy like you.

I think so too.

Why don't you disagree?

You're right.

You have no right to love.

Love...

Why're you together?

What do you mean?

Don't you love her?

I cant express it with words.

You're a failed poet.

Words have their limitations.

Are we done? I'm tired.

Tell me how it started?

How what started?

Between you and Kayoko.

She sent me a letter.

What kind of letter?

Asking to meet.

- How long...
- Great letter.

I was so moved,
I went to see her.

I'm going to bed.

You prefer letters?

Rather than email?

I think I do.

Night.

Good night.

Do you Nave...

paper and an envelope?

What's wrong?

I wrote a letter.

A letter?

To Shin.

I thought I'd leave it
here at my brother's.

Could you listen to it?

I'm really embarrassed
by what I've written.

Is it something I should hear?

There's no one else I can ask.

If you're sure.

Okay, I'll start.

Dear Shinnosuke Tada,

Good morning, good afternoon,

good evening, welcome home.

Forgive my greetings, I don't
know when you're reading this.

I'm bashful addressing you this way.

Please understand that
this uncharacteristic letter

with uncharacteristic words
is not from the usual me.

I'm sure you already know,

I'm falling for you.

I don't know what I should say.

Nothing comes to mind.

Do you have to fall for me
because I have fallen for you?

Obviously, you do not.

There is nothing I
can do to influence

how you feel.

I believe I understand
how you feel about me.

I know you do not
feel the same way.

If this letter is not
from the usual me,

I thought your feelings
for me could change.

If I am not who you think I am,

maybe my love will find a chance.

That's my hope in writing you.

But the thought of you
thinking I'm an easy girl,

makes me want to
tear this letter up.

I don't want to think that way.

I just...

realized something.

I simply want you to love me.

All of these written words
encompass that feeling.

Does that scare you?

Jumping from like to love,

I'm finding myself a bit lost.

I'm being honest.

All of my words and
actions toward you

yearn for your love.

I must first love
before I can be loved.

That's what the Nuns taught me

at my missionary school.

I don't feel I ever have.

Without being loved,

or being taught how to love,

I don't think I could
ever love someone.

As I write this,

I'm starting to realize just how
unreasonable this love letter Is.

But we shouldn't give
up on these feelings

even if we don't
know how to love.

There's a feeling in me
that I want to call love.

For now at least.

Do you feel the same?

I'm sure you do.

Maybe you feel it for someone else.

But you can't nurture
this feeling by yourself.

I know from experience.

If only you would direct
that feeling toward me,

it would keep growing bigger.

Then I'm sure that feeling would
become neither yours nor mine.

Even if it ends up being for
someone else in the future,

it's worth the time to
nurture and grow it.

But I want you to be the one
I nurture this feeling with.

What you need,

I can give you.

I've rambled on here but
these are my true feelings.

Good night.

See you.

But not goodbye.

I await your reply.

Yours truly, Yukie.

Wonderful letter.

Really?

It really is.

Hello.

Hey.

Your place is empty.

Yeah.

Are you gonna live alone?

I'm looking for a roommate.

Do you, have any friends?

It's just a roommate,
I don't need a friend.

Shinnosuke and I
weren't friends at first.

It's easier.

I'll choose whoever is
convenient at the time.

If they have the money.

What's your rent?

85,000 yen.

Koenji's expensive.

Nice of your mother.

I work too.

Where?

I'm not telling.

I told you.

Did you?

You should remember.

How about 70,000 yen?

What?

Wanna live together?

What will you tell Yukie?

You're my sister.

If she asks why
you kept it secret?

I'll say it was complicated.

My Mom got hospitalized,

so I might go back.

When?

Last Sunday.

What's wrong?

Ovarian cancer.

They found it early.

She'll be there about a month.

Can you afford it?

Probably not.

I'll give up my place.

In Tokyo?

I don't approve.

Why?

You cant just quit college
after going for 3 years.

It's a waste of money.

I won't quit.

Taking a leave?

I only have one year of
compulsory tests left.

Commuting from Kobe is cheaper.

It'd help if I can stay here.

I thought it'd be better
to look for work out there.

These things happen.

What about your life?

If she dies, you're alone.

What?

It'll be expensive
even for 1 year.

You'll live in two places,

and have no time with work.

I can give up this apartment.

We'll find a cheaper place.

You'll be better off
working in Tokyo.

I just want to be
close to my Mom.

Who knows when she'll die.

Is she dying?

But...

How old is she?

58.

Oh.

Could I...

borrow money?

How much?

500,000 yen.

I can give you about half now.

Sorry.

Can you wait 2 months?

I'll have to ask the hospital.

I can start working 6 days a week.

No consumer loans.

I know.

Thanks.

No problem.

Will you meet her?

She's not dying.

She will someday.

I can't go in and out of a family?

She's not family?

Didn't time ensure she isn't?

Us too?

Do you blame Mom?

Do you blame Dad?

I know things were complicated,

but he did terrible things to her.

I think it was mutual.

Dad's doing great with
my step-mom there.

So it wasn't all his fault,
some aren't compatible.

Same here.

Good to know.

For some people
separating is the answer.

Maybe...

But which is the right choice?

If you want to stay together,
but you have to separate?

I wouldn't really know.

Yeah you do.

Well it's simple.

Whatever you choose is right.

Yeah.

Things work out for the best.

So simple.

Sometimes.

That's true.

What's that?

Whats wrong?

“Dear Shin”

Ah, Yukie.

A love letter.

What?

Yukie has a new boyfriend.

Didn't you hear?

No.

She can't keep
doing this anymore.

Please throw this out.

That's private.

So you've been writing.

It's old.

Where've you been recently?

None of your business.

What'll you do?

About what?

Are you moving in or not?

Is it okay?

This won't happen again.

Do you regret it?

Doesn't matter.

This just won't happen again.

We'd be nothing
more than roommates.

What's the rent?

70,000 yen.

Any other rules?

Not really.

I'd like to move in.

When?

Next month, April 1st.

You better not be fooling me.

Don't worry, no jokes.

I'm hungry.

Wanna go out?

Can I shower?

Sure.

- Get me something?
- Okay.

Where're you going?

Kobeya near the station.

Something sweet.

Got it.

There's the Yurakucho Line
and lots of convenient stores.

It's accommodating.

It's official then.

Thank you.

I'm Etsuko.

This is my first tweet.

I've always lurked around.

am sure most of my
followers already Know,

I write poetry outside my day job.

Although slowly,

I am writing more now.

The reason I wrote on my
blog and not twitter,

was the fear of how
the words would flow.

The 140-character limit
may benefit my writing.

But there are no line breaks.

It's a bit different from
what l wanted to do.

But-today, I'd like to tweet
a poem as an experiment.

This may be the first and last.

I should note, this poem
was not penned by me.

But it's a poem I really enjoy.

I'm putting it out without
the author's permission.

I believe this is the
intent of this poem.

Even if it's not the author's.

Each tweet will be
one line from the poem.

I'm sorry if this
floods your timeline.

Please spread the
poem if you like it.

If possible, in its entirety.

We might be in for a major
flood in all of our timelines.

Let's Start.

Love Letter

One night,
Ms. Noguchi wrote a letter.

The letter was brief
and undemanding,

with words of love that
move people's hearts.

But people's thoughts are
not always communicated.

I Na world filled with
undelivered messages,

Ms. Noguchi's letter and
thoughts were also undelivered.

Her friend Ms. Kanamori
was pained to learn this.

Camels carried many
letters in the past.

Gulls have replaced them
to fulfill that role today.

Ever-changing thoughts can
only be known by the words.

Where do these
undelivered thoughts go?

In parentheses:
They go nowhere of course.

I could not stop
thinking about this.

One night, every clock in the world
showed the same time.

Ms. Noguchi anticipated this and
debuted as a radio DJ that night.

She called for faxes with undelivered
words of love from around the world.

The entire world listened
to her late night program.

On this one night only,

Ms. Noguchi read
countless faxes of love.

some reached its respective
listener while others did not.

All these undelivered thoughts pained
every “Ms. Kanamori” around the world.

Ms. Noguchi closed her program
with the following words.

Dawn has come,
let us say goodbye.

My words of love
belong to only one.

Even so,

they reach the hearts of all.

On that note,

Goodbye everyone.

Thank you all for coming today.

If you'd like to meet the cast,
they will be available in the lobby.

Thank you very much.

Two years later

Getting off?

What's wrong?

I'll get the next one.

Why?

ll call you.

I apologize.

Hi.

Hi.

Hey!

Hey!

So much make-up.

Shut up.

“I'll take the next one.”

You snot.

You're a butt-head.

Why the uniform?

Women love it.

Women love that?

Yeah, girls love uniforms.

I don't.

What're you doing?

The bandmaster wants to
hit on girls while in Japan.

Don't blame him.

I strike out In Seoul.

‘Cause I'm Japanese.

I'm always ignored.

Why're you back?

Korea's New Year Is
the beginning of February.

I didn't know.

Well, it is.

Every soldier in Korea tries to
take as much leave as they can.

We're off before and after.

So the flirting.

You come home just for girls?

And why shouldn't I?

Did you call your parents?

Why would I?

I can't see them.

You should.

Why?

Because I might die?

I'll be fine.
I'm in the marching band.

What's that?

We do parades on the front line
with the American and Korean militaries.

So not out front?

I said we're at the front.

We're rearranged
immediately if attacked.

You want that?

Want what?

Music during war.

Music proved to be necessary.

What're you up to?

I edit a theater magazine.

Give me a break.

Don't say It like that.

You should perform.

Especially now.

Do it

It's not that easy.

Most things are easy.

Do it.

Are you in Japan?

No, I'm not.

Oh..

Why hide such a great gig?

Is it great?

Isn't it?

Why'd you join?

The military?

A private police force isn't military.

The duties are the same.

I haven't killed anyone.

That's worse.

So I should kill?

No.

You're playing it safe.

What's that mean?

So nobody can blame you.

Avoiding responsibility.

Don't say it like that.

You got the same cell?

If I do?

No, forget it.

I'm sorry.

I am sorry too.

Don't you go off and die.

I wont die.

Avoid killing if possible.

That's a big request.

You're always difficult.

see you.