Inner Action (1997) - full transcript
John Ryan ends his life of crime to become a detective and repay society for his past misdeeds. He is hired by a mysterious woman to protect her from her possessive ex-husband, who is not only a powerful crime boss, but also John's ex-friend Vincent.
(MultiCom Jingle)
- [Man] The world runs on
two things, love and fear.
Everything else, just filler.
A spinoff, then there's
our prime mover, fate.
Or whatever you call that
force that steers us along
the path via coincidences and
supposedly chance encounters.
Why was I born a roughneck
kid in a poor part of town?
Who knows, I sure have no idea.
People talk about free
will, free will, forget it.
You might as well talk
about free Willy because
it's all just cause and effect,
we just can't see all the causes.
But we sure feel all the effects.
I mean, what does free
will have to do with you
getting into a fatal car
wreck on your way to work
because you left three minutes later
or earlier than usual?
And why did the other guy's
plane crash and not yours?
And why did Harriet Boomba,
your nextdoor neighbor,
win the lottery and you didn't,
and you both bought your tickets together?
And why do children die of starvation when
murderers pass away
peacefully in their sleep
50 years after their crime?
I don't know.
We're all just victims, victims of fate.
Fate just seems to like some
of us better than others.
I don't know, maybe that's what karma is.
Emotions and fate are
kind of like some weird
wrestling team.
They were together to
control us, emotions blind us
and bind us, we're
prisoners of our emotions,
prisoners of love, prisoners of fear.
We don't choose who we love, we're chosen.
If love comes at all, it chooses us.
And we don't choose what we fear,
we were imprinted long ago before we had
the ability to make a choice.
And the problem with emotions
is they're illogical.
We're victims of love, prisoners of fear,
and fate, like love and fear,
often has its own agenda,
one we can't read.
Brothers become mortal
enemies, perfect strangers
meet and fall in love overnight.
Why?
There's no answer.
(loud bang)
When I was a kid, I knew this
guy called Vincent Volpy,
he was another kid just
like the rest of us.
But Vince was a real trouble maker.
I mean, this guy was bad.
He didn't cause the kind
of trouble other kids did.
Some kids would like maybe
tie tin cans to a dog's tail.
Vincent would beat the
dog to death with a stick.
And when we got into trouble,
do you think Vincent ever took the rap?
No way, he was better at
getting out of trouble
than was getting into it.
But he would get busted
and sooner or later
get sent away again.
The cops hated him.
From the time he was 11, he'd
all ready served three years
in JD halls all around the city.
One time Vincent had
this idea for a score.
He went (mumbles) on this clothing store,
they had a lot of cash.
It'd be a big score,
especially for kids our age.
We hit the store, we got
in, we're getting out
but the cops were there.
I guess we triggered some alarms.
They were all over us.
Vincent and I, we took off, hightailed it.
For once, I got away, Vincent didn't.
The cops grabbed him and he
took a beating, a bad one.
I mean, the cops were
looking to give it to
this guy for a long time.
This was payback for being
a real pain in the butt
and Vince didn't have any parents who
kicked up a stink about it either.
(boy yelling)
(soft intense music)
Well, two days after they
got Vincent, they busted me.
We never spoke again, Vincent and I.
I never liked the guy anyway.
(heavy breathing)
(intense rhythmic music)
For the next 10 years,
I fell in and out of
gladiator academies, from
one country to the other.
Was that societal retribution
for childhood crimes?
Or was that fate preparing
me for what was to come,
transforming me into what I needed
to be in order to survive?
I became a tough guy, very tough.
A pit fighter when I got out of jail.
The only way to make money.
(eerie soft music)
(light squealing)
(tense deep music)
(man screaming)
(exciting fast music)
(people cheering)
(man grunting)
- [Man] Take it and use it!
(deep rhythmic music)
- [Man] Vincent, he was
dealt with some might believe
a kind of (mumbles).
- You broke my nose, you bastard!
- [Man] He worked his way in (mumbles),
being the big guy on the ground business.
Sure, he took his knocks
but doesn't everybody?
(men grunting)
(man yelling)
Then I became a hitman.
(guns firing)
(intense dramatic music)
(man laughing)
- What's the matter, (mumbles)?
Don't you like my show?
What's the matter, you
want a better receipt?
(intense rhythmic music)
(man laughing)
(gun firing)
(loud explosion)
(man laughing)
(loud screaming)
Come on!
Come on!
(man yelling)
You wanna lock me up, huh?
You wanna take me on, huh?
Come on and kill me!
If you wanna lock me up, lock me up!
Bye bye.
(man screaming)
(intense rhythmic music)
(man laughing wildly)
- How Paul, how?
(soft eerie music)
- [Man] I went a little off the deep end,
lost my mind for a while but I came back.
And somewhere along the way,
I guess I saw some kind of daylight.
I got out of the tough guy business,
but I still had a rep
for making things right
and that stuck with me.
(dark eerie music)
- [Man] Mr. Armstrong, I
understand you were interested
in the quality of our competitors.
- [Mr. Armstrong] Are they good?
- [Man] Of course we offer nothing but
the highest caliber of professionals.
(gun firing)
(dark intense music)
(man grunting)
(fast rhythmic music)
- [Man] Enforcer, hitman,
whatever was needed,
Vincent was there.
You needed somebody removed,
Vincent was your man.
Loans not being paid
on time, call Vincent.
Caught your wife cheating
with another guy,
Vincent was your boy.
He worked hard and it paid off for him.
Pretty soon he was the guy giving orders.
Good ol' Vince, I always
knew he'd make it to the top.
(intense dramatic music)
(grunting)
- [Man] Let him go!
(glass shattering)
- Get your asses up.
You, take Stollman.
Let's bring the kid along too.
(soft intense music)
- [Man] Now I had heard
Vincent had met some woman
he fell madly in love with
and she had fallen for him.
I mean, the guy's charming,
good looking, charismatic.
Fate, they met each other,
fell in love and were married.
The trouble is Vincent can
grate on you after a while
because he tends to treat
people like possessions.
Typical Vincent behavior.
And this broad, she wasn't going to stand
for any of Vincent's crap.
- Excuse me, do you have a light?
- Well, I most certainly hope so.
(woman laughing)
(grunting)
- Nasty habit.
- [Man] She had a mind of her own,
had her plans of her own.
So she took a few lovers on the side
and let Vincent know about it.
It drove him absolutely
nuts from what I hear.
- You want more?
Come on baby, get up, come and get it.
- (mumbles) I'm gonna beat you (mumbles).
- Is that what you wanted,
is that what you asked for,
you sleazy son of a bitch!
Take it, take it, take this, that!
- [Man] Hey, hey!
- [Man] The harder she tried to get away,
the further he went to keep her.
She had lovers, Vincent
had her lovers killed.
She threatened to run away,
Vincent had her drugged.
Little by little, he wore her down.
(deep rhythmic music)
She had plans of her own.
She actually wanted a career.
Believe it or not, she
wanted to be a doctor.
- The evidence ain't getting any warmer,
so why don't you just chill, sister?
How well you know these guys?
- [Man] They're my best buddies.
- Now, did anybody know
that you were up there?
- No one.
- If you think of something,
contact Sheriff Webster.
This is his office phone number,
I'll fax my report down.
- [Man] She couldn't
stand Vincent anymore.
But it was gonna be
tough to get rid of him
so it was gonna be tough
to get out of the marriage
because Vincent is very obsessive
and used to getting what he wants.
(deep scary music)
(man grunting)
- I love this girl.
I loved her from the first time I saw her,
the first time I met her.
See, it just, it hit me!
It hit me right between the eyes, Marcus.
Like a thunderbolt.
You see, and that's God,
that's God getting involved.
That's magic.
God doesn't make it easy, no.
It makes the old, makes
the old man hate you.
Makes the old man say
you're a bad influence
and you can't come over.
Just a bad guy and you have
to take the old man's head
and you have to stick it in the toilet,
and you've gotta flush it a few times.
But I loved her!
I know because I always
accept her bad habits.
When she was a little girl,
she chewed bubble gum.
It would get in her braces.
Did that bother me, no, no.
You see, Marcus, when you love somebody,
these things, they don't matter.
- Love is great.
- No, no, love isn't great.
It's not.
- Absolutely, love sucks.
- No, it, love doesn't suck.
No, it doesn't suck.
I, I loved her, Marcus.
- Who?
- My wife!
Marcus, what's in your diet?
I've been talking about my wife.
It's a problem, it's a problem.
It's driving me insane,
literally, it's driving me insane.
- You don't have to tell me, boss.
Women are stress.
- Stress, no, no, this is stress.
We're talking about a huge problem!
I'm talking about a titanic
jumbo problem, Marcus!
I'm obsessed and it's not healthy.
- [Man] This is the story
of three people's lives
inextricably woven together
by the strands of fate
and bond by the chains of emotions.
- Excuse me, do you know
where John Ryan lives?
- Yeah, I know where John lives.
- He lives here?
Which apartment?
You're John Ryan, aren't you?
- Maybe.
- Mr. Ryan, I need your help.
- [John] I don't help anymore.
- [Woman] Look, you don't
even know what it is
I need help with yet!
- It doesn't matter, I'm not interested.
- Three grand a day
says you are interested.
- Lady, it's not about the money.
Why don't you just leave me alone?
- Look, you helped a couple of my friends
out of a pretty tough situation,
and they thought you could help me.
Please, I think my
husband's gonna kill me.
- All my instincts told
me this girl was trouble,
that I should walk away right now.
Then why don't you call the cops?
- I can't call the cops.
- [John] She knew I was the right guy
and she knew she had me wrapped
around her little finger.
- Look, you don't seem to
understand the situation
here, all right?
My husband is a ruthless,
sadistic son of a bitch
who keeps me in a fucking ivory tower!
We're talking about a man who
buys senators, and judges,
and cops, so no, Mr. Ryan,
I can't go to the cops!
Just me coming here is
jeopardizing my life, okay!
So, are you gonna help me or not?
(woman sobbing)
- It's all right, I'm gonna help you.
It's all right.
- Thank you.
- Blow your nose.
Listen, first thing's first,
this is not a safe place.
Do you have someplace safe
that we can take you to?
- Uh, uh, my apartment, I guess.
- Does he know about it?
- No, (mumbles).
- You sure?
- Yeah, I'm sure.
- Okay, why don't we take
you there, all right?
- Okay.
- All right, let's go.
(high pitched dramatic music)
- Then we'll just whack your wife.
- No, don't whack my wife!
I, I love my wife.
Why would I want you whack her?
- Okay, it's just that
you're not being too clear.
- Clear?
Clear is logic.
The point of the entire
dissertation, Marcus,
is that, that love and
logic don't go together.
- Okay, boss.
- Okay what?
- Okay, we'll take care of the problem.
(tense rhythmic music)
- Okay.
- [John] But she never
lost sight of her dream
to one day escape her husband.
And that's how I came into the picture.
She came to me to help her
get away from her husband.
I didn't know who she was at first,
and I didn't know who she was married to.
And then fate laid me a very cruel blow.
I fell in love with her before I found out
she was married to Vincent.
And when I did find out,
it didn't matter because
I was stone cold in love with this broad.
(soft peaceful music)
She told me that she had
something to confess,
that she couldn't help herself but
that she was falling in love with me.
Like a fool, I believed her.
I wanted her to be in love with me because
I had fallen stone cold in love with her.
She was caring and loving.
She made me feel alive, she
made me feel like a man.
No one could be this caring and loving
and be faking it.
Could they?
You know the difference
between falling in love with
somebody and loving somebody?
The falling in love
with part doesn't last.
That's the initial romantic
lust part of an affair,
of a relationship.
But loving somebody is
the mature and durable
side of a relationship,
learning to love the ordinary.
Now I had never made it
that far in a relationship,
but I thought this time maybe, just maybe,
I had a chance at making
it work with this woman.
But first, we had to take care of Vincent.
(playful music)
♫ Touch me like you felt desire
♫ Touch me like you felt the pain
♫ Touch me like you know what I am saying
♫ Touch me like you felt the fire
♫ Touch me like you'll burn again
♫ Touch me like you know the price I pay
♫ It takes more than a kiss
to break this heart of mine
♫ It takes more than a kiss
♫ So follow through
♫ It takes more than a kiss
to make this all seem right
♫ And that's more than
I'll ever take from you
- I think it's strange
you're cleaning that gun
over my chair, could you please?
Just use some Scott towel or something?
(mumbles)
Look, if we were in your car, okay
I would lay everything down very nicely,
being very sure not to get
anything on your interior.
- See, see, you don't have
to get so upset about this.
- I'm not upset about
it but I just, you know,
if it were your car, I would do that so--
- Okay, fine.
- I expect the same courtesy.
- Look, I'm taking some Scott towels.
- All right, just put it down.
- Okay?
- Okay, that's fine.
- Now would you listen to me?
- My clothes have never,
you never looked so good.
You look good in that.
- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.
- Good thing you have small feet.
You know what they say
about small feet, don't you?
- Yeah, small shoes.
(woman laughing)
- Exactly.
- Ooh, nice oranges.
- And when you did stop
becoming like this?
- I've been learning some things.
I've been taking some classes and, uh,
you know, it's very important to me and
I'm trying to teach you some things.
I'm trying to teach you about life and
I'm worried about you, Jake.
- You're worried about me?
- You're gonna die an unhappy man!
- I'm gonna die an unhappy man.
- A very unhappy man.
- No, no, wait, that's them up there.
- Do you know what, let's get some coffee?
- You mean like fresh brewed?
- No, no, like you know,
brew it back at the house.
- You wanna make it?
- Yeah.
- Can you make coffee?
- Yes, I make coffee.
- Okay, I'll get some.
- I'll get some fruit and stuff.
(intense soft music)
Yeah, just keep going, just keep going.
Back a little more and then
keep going all the way back.
Hey!
No!
(light whispering)
- Just get in the back
of the car, all right.
- No!
(gun firing)
(intense rhythmic music)
- Back the fuck down!
Back the fuck down right now!
- Why did you shoot her?
- This has nothing to do with you,
this is just between me and the girl
so put the gun down now!
- Why did you shoot her?
- [Man] Put the gun down!
- Why?
- [Man] Nice and slow, put the gun down.
- Why did you shoot her?
- I did not shoot her,
just put the gun down now.
- Why did you shoot her?
- [Man] Just like that, put the gun down.
(gun firing)
- Shut the fuck up!
(man yelling)
- Shit, you've got blood on my boot.
You know how much a pair
of boots like these cost?
(mumbles) leather.
- Let's shoot the motherfucker!
- Who the fuck are you guys?
- Shut the fuck up!
- What do you mean somebody shot her?
- It means that somebody shot your wife.
- What did I tell you assholes to do?
- You told us to take care of the problem.
- Well, jumpin' Jesus on a pogo stick!
Well, how the hell is she?
- Well, she's not doing too good.
(deep intense music)
- So, she's in a hospital?
- She ain't in no hospital?
- Where is she, Marcus?
- She's at the morgue.
- What's she doing there?
- She's dead.
- My wife's dead, she's dead?
- That's what I've been
trying to tell you all along,
somebody shot her, she's dead.
(man sobbing)
- It's my wife.
(man moaning)
It's a (beep) catastrophe.
- Boss, it's okay.
- No, no, no, no, no it's not okay.
No, because that's my wife.
Yeah, what we gotta do, you know,
is get you to find this guy.
- You know, I figured you'd say that.
- What, you second
guessing me now, Marcus?
- No, no.
I'm just trying to tell
you we got the guy.
- You found the guy?
- We got a guy.
- Oh, fuck, that's terrific!
- No, wait there's...
There's another thing.
- What?
- This guy we got, he was...
He was doing her.
- Doing her?
- You know.
- Oh, wow.
You didn't enjoy telling
me that, did you, Marcus?
- No, it wasn't easy.
- So, where is this guy?
- He's with Dwight and
Conrad down at the warehouse.
They're hanging.
- Oh, that's good.
Because I'm gonna, I'm
gonna fuck him up, you know.
(loud pounding)
(man grunting)
What do you know about Picasso?
- I heard he was an asshole.
- Well, he was an artist,
of course he was an asshole.
- What is this?
- This, this is a wake.
I'm in mourning, you must
know my wife was killed today.
- Your wife?
- Yes.
(man yelling)
- Oh, what is this?
What do you want?
- John!
Yeah, I know your name.
I know your address, I
know everything about you.
I know when he's gonna die.
- Boss, I think he's dead.
- See, I know all kinds of things.
So, the one thing that you
do not wanna do is lie to me.
- I--
- Shut up, please, fuck!
Do not talk.
Just why?
Why did you kill my wife?
- I didn't kill your wife.
Two guys shot her, I shot one of the guys
and one of the guys is
dead right over there.
- Wrong!
Listen to me you fucking cock sucker!
You just fucking listen to me, okay?
Look at me.
Somebody killed my fucking wife.
Now, the boys here said
they saw you there.
- No!
- Yes, yes they did.
Now, I love this woman, John.
Have you ever loved someone?
Oh, Jesus Christ.
Okay, okay.
I'm supposed to believe
that you're innocent.
Well, Conrad, Dwight,
you probably know this.
In a court of law, you're
innocent until proven guilty,
right, but I don't have
fucking time to prove
that you're guilty!
So, we're gonna do things
fucking all different.
(loud pounding)
(man grunting)
Am I cynical?
- [John] I didn't kill her, man!
- Oh, you didn't kill her?
You didn't kill her?
- I didn't kill her!
- Ah, I didn't kill her!
Now, if you are mister fucking innocent,
what were you doing with her
at six in the fucking morning?
No, you didn't kill her,
you didn't kill her.
Well, if you didn't kill her,
what the fuck did you do?
Did you, did you fuck my wife?
Holy shit.
Is that what you did, did you fuck her?
Did you make her moan and sweat?
Did you make her tell you secrets that
only women tell when they're cumming?
(deep scary music)
Okay.
If you're innocent, can you prove it?
Can you prove it, yes or no?
- No!
- No, strike one.
(man yelling)
Why should I believe you?
- You should believe me
because I'm innocent.
- Strike two!
(man screaming)
Do you believe in divine intervention?
Well?
- I've never given it that much thought.
- Well, yeah, I think
it's time you did because
rumor has it that that
god protects his lambs,
he protects the innocent,
he's just and if he is,
if he is just, if the world doesn't end,
if, if, if, if all this is true, John,
then you should be able
to prove your innocence.
(man laughing)
I got it, what we'll do is
we'll have physical ordeals,
five physical ordeals like the five fates.
If you survive, you're innocent.
But if you die, if you
die, you're fucking guilty.
You're guilty, I get my revenge and
we prove the existence of God.
That's so fucking cool.
What do you think?
- What do you think I think?
- Well, I think you would
think something, what,
meaningful, deep, profound.
- Well, I hate to disappoint you but
I don't believe in the existence of God.
- Then you are in a shit load of trouble.
This first trial is about will,
John, the will to survive.
I want you to think about it, a man alone
against impossible odds, only his wits,
his resourcefulness to aide him.
It's gonna be great, John.
And who knows, you, you may live.
You ever been to bull fight, Conrad?
It makes football look like a game for
fags and old ladies, man.
I was 12 years old and
the matador that day was
a guy named Christian Jose Pietro.
He was like a real dashing young man.
All the women in Spain
just swooned over this guy,
killed with such style.
Now the bull, I don't know
too much about the bull.
But what I do know is in
the holding pen before
the fight, he gored this (mumbles).
Spilled his guts all over the place.
That guy was very (mumbles).
It was about 104 degrees and
the old man bought me a Coke
and I was sitting in there this huge arena
filled with Spaniards, and
they just love bull fights.
They love, they love blood, they love red,
they love tomatoes, it's
all like interconnected.
And I remember the start of the fight.
The women had all ready
been throwing out photos
of themselves and flowers, and I thought,
is that appropriate, the
fight hasn't even begun?
But they knew Christian
was gonna win, you see?
I wasn't so sure when
I saw this bull come in
because he wasn't
goaded, he wasn't pushed,
he wanted to do this thing.
The bull comes out, he looks at Christian,
they stare at each other.
The bull makes his first pass and I think
Christian's finished right there,
but he waits to the last second.
Waits to the last second
and he throws his cape
up in a flourish of red, the
bull misses him by that much,
oh, that much.
This goes on three times, the
whole crowd is going crazy.
But then I was sitting there
by myself as a 12 years old,
and I could sense a certain
palpable convolution
of the molecules.
I think it was just me but
there's a certain stillness.
Suddenly the bull began to paw the earth.
And again, he centered on Christian.
He began his charge
but this time the bull,
he made a little fake, right.
And Christian was completely thrown off
and the bull dug his horn
right into Christian's leg.
I can remember seeing the flesh.
There was blood all over the place.
It was like the tables
had turned right then.
Christian turned around and
he looked to his toreador
and he was panicked, I
could see it on his face.
It was really something.
All he wanted to do was
get this fight over with.
He wanted to kill this
bull, bandage his leg up
and fuck some senorita.
But the bull had other plans, right?
The bull goes back down to the other end,
almost like he's waiting
for Christian to get ready.
Christian now has a pinion,
a spear in his hand.
The bull comes down three more times.
Christian couldn't do a damn thing,
he couldn't get this pinion
in him, couldn't hurt him.
The bull comes down the fourth time,
people are very quiet
now, it's not just me.
The bull gets a horn in his cape.
The bull is so strong,
he throws his head back
and I still remember seeing Christian
cartwheeling through the air.
He lands with a great thud.
And I looked at him.
He gets up and his arm is like cracked.
It's like zigzagging, it's like he's got
three articulating joints.
This woman, this Spanish
woman right in front of me,
she pukes all over herself.
Everybody's like deathly quiet.
He comes back one more time,
he's gonna finish Christian off but
somehow this matador, out of nowhere,
pulls the pinion up, one ends in the dirt,
one ends pointing straight up like this.
The bull skewers himself, quite hideous,
people are in shock.
The bull goes back one more time,
he turns and looks at Christian.
Christian calls for another pinion.
Nobody knows what's gonna happen.
It's a mess.
(loud pounding)
(intense fast music)
The bull charges toward him one last time.
Do you know what Christian does?
He takes his pinion,
javelin style, throws it.
It goes right in the bull's eye.
The bull continues, a pinion
sticking out of his eye.
That pinion is driven right
into Christian's chest.
The two of them hurdle
together into the end boards.
And of course, through the law of physics,
the pinion was driven simultaneously into
the brain of the bull.
What a great sport.
(exciting intense music)
(man yelling)
- You better take your (mumbles).
- Second trial, John.
This one's about personal integrity.
How much, John, are you
willing to sacrifice
in order to preserve it, huh?
Of course the real
question here is do you got
the balls to admit that
you're the kind of man
that you know you are?
So John, you enjoy your bull fight?
- Oh yeah, that was great.
- You know what's funny, Conrad and I were
just talking about bullfights.
Did you know that Picasso
loved to bullfight?
- No, I didn't know that.
- Well, tell me, did you
ever see his painting,
After the Bullfight?
- Can't say that I have.
- Well, you know what?
I'm pretty sure that he saw
the same matador that I saw.
Can you imagine that?
- That's real interesting.
- Yeah, well anyhow, I'd
like to congratulate you
on a job well done.
Dwight tells me you were successful.
Yes?
- Yeah.
- Yeah!
God was smiling on you today.
- Yeah, well, you know
I don't believe in God.
- OH yeah, that's right, that's right.
I do know how you feel,
you're an atheist, right?
- No, a pragmatist.
- A pragmatist.
Well, pleased to meet
you, I'm a Vincent Volpy
and I'm pleased to meet you, John.
- Shake his hand.
- You're not gonna just
leave me hanging here?
Come on, you just won a sport,
that's proper protocol that
you would shake my hand.
- Shake his hand, slick!
- Yes, yes!
I'm glad you shook because otherwise
we'd put your dick up here.
(man grunting)
Now John, this is your second trial.
This isn't about the big question,
it's about a couple small
points in your story
that I find bothersome.
- You're not gonna torture me?
I'll tell you right
now, if you torture me,
I'll fucking tell you anything.
I mean, you won't even know
what's the fucking truth
because I'll just tell you anything.
- Well I know, John,
I used to be Catholic.
No, I'm not gonna torture you.
I don't have to torture you
because inside I can feel,
I can sense when somebody's
telling me the truth.
Now call it strange,
sometimes I find it hard to
believe myself but I can tell.
I can tell when somebody's lying to me.
- Well look, if you can do that then you
gotta know I'm telling you
the truth about your wife.
You gotta know that I didn't kill her.
- Well, that's just the thing,
as equally as strange but
sometimes I get this gray area.
Sometimes it's muddled, call
it the fickle hand of God,
I don't know what.
Sometimes I just can't tell.
- I'm telling you, I'm...
- Listen, you listen to me.
Because you know what this is,
this is my polygraph machine
and this is your motivation.
This isn't about the big question,
this is your second trial
about little points.
Now, the way we're gonna
work this is I'm gonna
ask you a series of 10 questions.
If you tell me the truth, nothing happens.
However, if you lie to
me, I chop a finger off.
All right, have you got that?
- You wanna hear the truth?
- Now--
- You don't wanna hear no fucking truth!
- Yeah, I wanna hear the truth.
And if you don't believe I can tell it,
why don't we do a little pregame trial.
Okay, let's do this, you
just make up any fact
and I'll communicate to you
whether or not you are lying.
- If I make it up, it is a lie.
- Make something up or tell me the truth.
- Speak.
- John, tell me anything.
I will guess whether you are
lying or telling the truth.
- My mother's maiden name was Thompson.
- Look at me.
That's true.
Again.
- My father had a drinking problem.
- Now, that's a lie.
Tell me something hard.
- My first girlfriend was
called Kathryn Taylor.
- That's true.
- One time we were upstairs
in her parents house.
We were in bed.
Thought the parents were out
and her father walked in,
in the bedroom in the middle of when I
was having sex with her.
- It's true, you wacky guy, you.
- Her left nipple was
larger than her right.
- That's a lie.
- Her right nipple was
larger than her left.
- I've had enough of this,
have I proven it to you?
(deep intense music)
Now, John, John, you
listen very carefully.
What we're gonna do here,
we're gonna have 10 questions.
Now, I'm gonna take the
little motivator here
and I'm gonna point it at
each one of these pinkies.
Now, I have 10 questions,
if you tell the truth,
nothing happens.
However, if you lie, I'll
cut one of these off.
Okay, so at the end of this little game,
I will have all my answers.
Conrad, help me out, let's
get onto the real thing.
(deep scary music)
(mumbles)
- [Conrad] Kiss your
fingers goodbye, John.
- Now John, remember, 10
questions, answer precisely,
succinctly, and honestly.
And may the force be with you.
Question number one, when
did you meet my wife?
- I met her last night.
- That is true, where did you meet her?
- Excuse me, do you know
where John Ryan lives?
- Yeah, I know where John lives.
- He lives here, which apartment?
You're John Ryan, aren't you?
- A club called, Cloud Nine.
- Cloud Nine, true, that's tacky but true.
Guess that's a real nice place, is it?
- Oh yeah, it's just, you
gotta go there sometime.
- Well, I shall, I will!
Me and Conrad will go down
there next time we want
some skank, right?
- Right, boss.
(man laughing)
- Okay John, what did you talk about?
- I think my husband's gonna kill me.
- Why don't you call the cops?
- I can't call the cops!
- Nothing much.
She told me she liked the Hong Kong boys.
John Wu.
- That's true.
She liked the killer.
Well, there are seven more questions,
you have seven fingers to go.
John, did she mention me?
- [Woman] My husband is a ruthless,
sadistic son of a bitch.
- Answer the man.
- She talked about her husband.
- Oh, she talked about her husband.
Kind of like, I like to tell
you that I have a husband,
something like that?
- Look, if you can do
what you say you can do,
then you gotta know
what I'm saying's true.
- You know, I can't tell.
I don't know that.
What did she say?
- I can't take it anymore!
(soft dramatic music)
- Well--
- Shut up!
Well, I guess that's one of the basic laws
of the courtroom, isn't it?
John, if you don't know
the answer to a question,
don't ask it, right?
- You got that right.
- Yeah, well I guess what upset me was
the malicious way that you told me,
kind of like, oh, your friend
died and then you laughed,
ha ha.
- If you don't wanna hear the truth,
don't ask the questions.
- Oh, I wanna hear the truth.
And don't worry, John, I can handle it.
I just want you to tell
me what happened next.
(woman sobbing)
- It's all right.
I'm gonna help you.
We had a few more drinks.
A couple more laughs at your expense
and she said she had to leave.
- I see.
It's true, and did you
leave with her, John?
- Yeah, I left with her.
- Where did you go?
- Went to the Lucky You Motel.
- Well, that's true, that's true.
And that's nine questions, one more to go.
John, what do you think
is worse, pain itself
or the anticipation of pain?
- Is that the 10th question?
- No, this is just like conversation,
conversation between buddies.
Personally, I think it's
the anticipation of pain
because the pain itself is over.
As soon as it happens, it's over.
And it's usually, it's usually not as bad
as you think it's going to be.
Because pain itself has a
beginning and it has an end.
Usually it's not as bad as you think,
and when it is, you
pass out from the shock.
But John, the anticipation
of pain goes on and on.
It doesn't stop until something happens,
and until something
happens, it doesn't stop.
It gnaws away at your brain.
But anyhow, let's get
to the last question.
Question number 10,
John, the bonus question,
did you fuck my wife?
- Oh god, oh god.
- [Vince] Did you fuck my wife?
- Yeah, I fucked her.
(deep rhythmic music)
(loud screaming)
(loud intense music)
(man laughing)
(fast rhythmic music)
- All right, trial three, Johnny.
I think we'll call this one endurance.
Endurance, yes, endurance
is the name of the game
this time around.
How much can you dig,
Johnny, before you break?
How long, baby, before
you throw in the towel
and surrender to the inevitable?
(loud panting)
(light whistling)
Bow, check, check, test, test, test.
Ch, ch, ch, is this on, is this on?
Come in Tokyo.
John, John!
Wakey, wakey, buddy!
Wakey, wakey.
Hey, chain boy, chain boy!
Eh, there you are, how you feeling?
How you feeling, buddy boy?
You like that bandage, you like that?
I did that because I love
you, I care about you.
Okay, let's start the
show, let's start the show.
Welcome everybody, welcome to the show.
I've got my cohost with me,
as always, lovely Dwight,
the lovely Conrad, and our guest, John.
Hi, John, how you doing?
K, Johnny, third trial,
buddy, third trial.
Today, Johnny, we're gonna
play obstacle, obstacle.
Now, Johnny, you know
what you do in this one?
You loosen those chains
and you get out of there
on the count of three because
these are my obstacles,
my cohosts.
They're gonna be shooting
little bullets at you.
Have you got that, John?
We clear?
- How do I win this game?
- What?
- How do I win this game?
- You gotta get out the door.
Are you ready, Johnny, are you ready?
I'm gonna start counting.
That's right, you better get
that chain off, get it off.
A one, that's one, John.
Wa, wa, one, to, to, two.
Two, John, yeah, you're almost out.
Two, three!
Try that door, Johnny!
Three, come on boys!
Woo hoo, run you little
fucker, run you little prick!
(guns firing)
Run daddy, run daddy, run, run, run!
John, listen, you can't
stay under there, all right?
This sucks, we're not
having any fun whatsoever.
Listen John, come out.
John, I swear to god, I'm not
gonna shoot you, all right.
I just wanna talk to you, all right.
Swear to god, time out, time out.
Look at me.
Hi, hey, how you doing?
Listen, this just, this really bites and
I'm not having a good
time and you're not either
because if you don't start running around,
I'm just gonna send the guys down and
shoot you right there, okay.
So, let's have some fun.
Go back under there, I'm
gonna give you to three
and then you better start running, okay?
Or we're just gonna come down.
- You're fucking crazy!
- I know that, now get back under there.
You got until three.
All right, go!
One, two, three.
(guns firing)
Ladies and gentlemen,
the show is (mumbles).
Now love is neither created nor destroyed.
You must either choose
love or you must choose
to discard it.
Now John, I choose love.
What about you, Brother John?
Love, John, is faith.
Faith, John, is religion.
John, my religion is love.
John is a low down,
sticky, smelly (mumbles).
All we can do in this life
is express the most love
that we have at any one time.
You should have experienced love but
I fear you haven't, Brother
John, I fear you haven't.
You are just a sick, twisted, demented,
sad little puppy dog with no
love to keep himself alive.
I'm expressing all the love I have.
(intense fast music)
(guns firing)
- Hey (mumbles), you don't
know shit about love, man.
- John, if you do not shut the fuck up,
I'm gonna get Dwight out
there to use you like a woman.
- You never loved your wife!
You know what, Vincent, you
confused ownership with love.
There's a major fucking difference.
You never loved your wife,
all you did was own her!
- You shut your god damn mouth,
you little scum sucking
motherfucking roach penis!
You think because you fucked
my wife, it means anything!
It doesn't you know, she treated you like
a fucking vibrator, that's all you were!
She compared you to me
and I'm Mr. Wonderful.
You understand?
I don't care if she put
the whole fucking Green Bay
Packer football team up
her ass, you understand?
We had a love, John, that
could not be fucking sullied.
It could not be sullied!
- And you know what (mumbles),
she didn't wanna be owned by you!
(deep dramatic music)
(guns firing)
- John, I swear, before this is over,
I will see the shit leave your intestines,
the piss leave your badder,
the air leave your lungs
and the blood leave your veins.
The last thing you'll see is
my face and I'll be singing.
♫ Swing low sweet chariot
♫ Coming for to carry me home
♫ Swing low, sweet chariot
♫ Johnny's gonna get blown away.
(guns firing loudly)
(intense rhythmic music)
(man yelling)
Hiya, Johnny, good game!
(man grunting)
(men yelling)
(loud thumping)
Get him off me!
Get him off me!
For Christ's sakes, thanks
for taking your fucking time.
It's just a game, John.
That was poor fucking sportsmanship.
So, you know what I gotta do, huh?
That means you gotta be penalized.
Let me see, what was it,
two minutes for (mumbles).
(grunting)
What else was there, oh?
Two minutes for tripping.
I think there was some
high sticking, right?
Yeah, I think there's about five minutes
for high sticking.
(man groaning)
Oh and, uh, there's a
little steering I think.
(man yelling)
Of course, five minutes for fighting.
(dramatic intense music)
How you doing, buddy?
Fourth trial, John.
This one is about success.
(engine revving)
There's no possibility
of you ever achieving it,
but I guess mostly this
will be test of character
because I wanna see how you
do in a no win situation.
How's that thumb?
- Fuck you.
- John, I wanna introduce
you to my friend, Joan.
Joan, this is John.
(mumbles)
Shut up, shut up, thank you.
Joan is a mother of three.
She is an excellent, excellent woman.
She is very innocent and she's a friend
of my dead ex-wife.
She doesn't deserve to die.
- [Joan] Vincent!
- I said shut up!
There is a tube running from
the exhaust pipe of this car
into the driver's compartment.
Now, Joan is inhaling
carbon monoxide as we speak
and she's been doing that
for about a minute now.
I'm not sure if you're
aware of physiology,
but carbon monoxide is
extremely deadly because
it adheres to hemoglobin.
Oxygen also adheres to hemoglobin.
If there's too much carbon monoxide,
there's no room for oxygen.
Now, she has now about five
and a half minutes to live.
This game is called
blind man's bluff, John.
It is your job to get here out of the car.
Her life is in your hands.
Right, Joan?
- Asshole!
- Shut up!
Now, your hands are manacled,
but your hands and fingers
are fully functional,
so you can open the car door.
Again, John, her life is in your hands.
We will be spinning you,
we will be disorienting you
but you just have to listen to me and
get to the car before she dies.
Let's walk him back that way, boys.
And you shut up in there!
You're stupid, you
breathe so fucking fast,
you won't have any air left.
Your respiration increases!
Okay, let's move him, a little quicker.
This way!
Okay, okay, Johnny.
Okay, Johnny, how you feeling, buddy?
Okay, here I go.
Okay, Johnny, first direction.
- Where's the fucking car, Vincent?
- I'm gonna tell you that if
you'd shut up for a second!
First direction, follow very carefully,
you got about, oh,
let's see, three minutes
and 40 seconds, okay.
First direction is gonna be
straight ahead four paces.
Ready, go?
Go fast!
(man laughing)
Oh, sorry, that was my fault, John.
I thought we were in Australia.
Okay Johnny, four strides
straight ahead, swear to god.
Okay, stop, stop!
(fast rhythmic music)
Oh, you hit an obstacle there.
Okay, go to your left three strides.
(man grunting)
Oh, that was bad.
Come on, you gotta stand up.
Okay John, turn to your left, four paces.
- Where's the fucking car?
- I'm telling you, just
fucking listen to me!
Little to your left, little
to your left, that's it.
I don't think he can hear,
I don't think he can hear.
(man yelling)
(light pounding)
(man laughing)
One more he should be gone.
Okay, well, you got about
five seconds, Johnny.
You got about five seconds.
Oh, I love that one, I love that one.
Let's get a drink, I (mumbles).
(light panting)
(man laughing)
Johnny, Johnny!
Hey, Johnny, John.
Come on, Johnny, get up, can you do it?
You got 35 seconds, you
can still save her, hurry.
- Where's the car?
- It's right ahead of you, john, go!
Keep going, keep going.
This way, this way, straight
ahead, Johnny, straight ahead.
You got the car.
Feel, that's the window,
that's the window.
Okay, that's the handle.
Get that door open, there
she is, there she is!
You got her!
- Are you okay, are you okay?
(fast rhythmic music)
- [Vincent] She's dead, she's dead.
My watch is wrong, fucked up, sorry, John.
- You fucker!
(man yelling)
(man laughing chaotically)
- Hey guys, I gotta get a drink.
Drag him inside when you're done.
Last trial, John.
Death, yours or mine?
Yours or mine?
Hey John.
Johnny, get up, would you?
Come on Johnny, our friends are upstairs
and they're playing video games
and I don't have a friend.
Hey, get the fuck up!
- Fuck you.
- Fuck you.
Fuck you!
What, you need some sleep or something?
Johnny, come on, sleep is for beginners.
You and I, we're not beginners.
Now get the fuck up!
Come on, get up, we're celebrating.
Let's go.
(man grunting)
- What the fuck are we celebrating?
- Well, I'll tell you what.
You take a fucking drink
and I'll tell you, buddy.
What, it ain't poison, John.
(light gurgling)
Come on, you'll like it.
Drink it.
It's not your brand?
You know, John,
we've had a memorable couple of days, huh?
It's almost been fun.
- You gonna shoot me now?
- Eventually.
I mean, I, I mean I can't
help but think that,
I don't know, maybe under
different circumstances--
- Don't.
- Maybe--
- Don't say it.
Under any circumstances,
I could never, ever
be friends with a twisted, fucked up,
piece of work like you.
- Well, that's very nice, John,
but that's not what I was gonna say.
I was gonna say under
difference circumstances,
well, I just might let you live.
(mumbles)
- The arrangement was if
I survived the ordeal.
- Yes.
- I'm innocent.
- John, you don't even have a living.
You and me, John, we got nothing.
We don't got love.
We're two thorns in the
underbelly of society, John.
But you know what, don't
worry because today, John,
today we're gonna do society a favor.
- How?
- Trial number five,
John, Russian roulette.
Six chambers, one bullet.
Catch a bullet, you die, you lose.
So, who goes first, you or me?
You're right, I'm the host.
You go first.
(deep dark music)
- Maybe I don't wanna play this game.
- You don't wanna play?
Well, then I'll just give
Dwight and Conrad a call,
they'll come down, we'll
beat the fuck out of you
and torture you a bit.
We'll cut your body up in little pieces,
put you in the dumpster, that be good?
- Let's play.
- Good.
(deep rhythmic music)
(light whining)
(loud click)
I'm surprised you had
the guts, I really am.
- Your turn.
- No problem.
No fucking problem.
Did I ever tell you that I met Jesus?
Not the original, the second coming.
- Didn't know you were a religious man.
- I'm not.
(loud clicking)
I met him in school, I was 12.
Would you listen to my fucking story?
Thank you.
He was very good, he was always good,
the nicest little kid you ever saw.
So, I tried to ignore him
but one day he came up to me,
you know what he said?
- What?
- He said, Vincent, I love you.
Can you believe that?
So, after that it got ugly and
I beat the shit out of him.
- The second coming, huh?
- The second coming.
We beat the shit out of the second coming.
IN fact, we did it every fucking day.
We beat the shit out of him
and he wasn't like you, John,
he didn't scream, and yell,
and moan, and piss, and grunt,
and fight back.
You know what he did?
- What?
- He just looked at the
skies with his hands up,
clothes all torn and blood on his face
and he'd say, "Father, forgive them
"for they know not what they do."
Can you fucking believe that?
I figured the kid was
totally fucked because
we knew what we were doing.
We fucking loved it.
Come on, Johnny.
(light clicking)
That was a good one.
- Your turn, motherfucker.
What became of him?
- What?
- The second coming?
- I don't know, the kid
just fucking disappeared.
He went someplace one summer.
We didn't see him for a long time.
(light clicking)
(man groaning)
(man laughing)
Fuck, this is fucking scary!
Your turn, Johnny.
- We've pulled this trigger four times,
that means there's two
chambers left and one bullet.
- That is correct, sir.
- 50/50 chance, pretty
good odds in some cases.
Maybe I'll just pop
you and take my chances
with Wally and the Beav
when they come running down.
- You could do that.
(man laughing)
But John, look at yourself, look at you!
You got no fucking life.
What's the fucking point?
- I didn't kill her.
- Well, why don't you just prove it.
- How?
- Before you pull that trigger,
you wanna hear the rest of my Jesus story?
- Yeah.
- Okay, well, what happened
is his fucking bitch of
a mother sent him to a hospital.
And you know what, they
found a fucking problem
and they fixed it.
I was shocked as hell
to see the fucking kid
but he was out there, I can still see him
out on the corner of the playground,
I walk over and he's smoking.
And I go, hey, son of
god, what's the deal?
And John, he looks me straight in the eye
and you know what he says?
He says, "Fuck you!"
I'm like, holy shit.
So, you know what I did?
I beat the fucking piss out of him again,
but this time, John,
he was fucking beating
the piss out of me.
The guy had turned into
a fucking wild man.
- So, what happened to the second coming?
- Well John, the second
coming was sacrificed
for the sake of mental health.
He became ruthless,
merciless, mean, and cruel.
He became very successful.
(man laughing)
It's a good fucking story, huh?
I'm done, old buddy.
- You abuse me, torture me, and here I am,
going to put a gun up to my own head.
You know what, Vincent?
I've had enough of your
games and I'm going home.
(man laughing)
- You're going home?
- [John] Yeah, you can kiss your
fucking sorry ass goodbye.
- Well, I'll fucking kiss it goodbye.
You know what, I'll even fucking help you!
Pull the fucking trigger
because you're a fucking wimp!
Come on, John, put me
out of my fucking misery.
Pull it, come on.
Be like me, John!
Come on, do it!
Do it, John!
You can't do it, can you?
You can't fucking do it!
You can't fucking do it!
So, where does that leave us?
Ah, couldn't do it, couldn't do it.
I guess you are a better man than me.
(men grunting)
(intriguing music)
(gun firing)
(soft exciting music)
- [Man] Vince, Vince!
- Hands over the head, fun boy!
Up, now!
Up over the head!
I'm taking this gun.
All right, here's what we're gonna do now.
You see that (mumbles), I
want you to bend down gently.
I want you to bend down
gently, pick it up.
Put your elbows on it.
Good boy.
(soft intense music)
(gun firing)
- Love hurts.
- It probably sounds stupid,
but the only thing I wanted
to do after surviving Vincent
was to find the broad again.
Boy, talk about stupid.
But like I said, fate and
emotions makes fools of all of us.
Now, what I would do after I found her
is altogether another question.
Common sense would suggest that
I get the hell out of there.
But it was up in the
air whether common sense
or passion would prevail.
I've been waiting for you.
I knew you were alive.
- There's two tickets
to Rio in this envelope,
one for you and one for me.
I don't ever wanna be without you again.
- Why did you lie to me?
Was it the money, did you want his money?
- No, no.
I'm sorry I lied to you
but there was no other way.
I knew if you really
loved me, you'd defeat him
and survive, just like me.
We're survivors, we're two of a kind.
We're meant to be together.
What you said about that,
about that missing part,
I know what you mean now.
You're that missing part of me.
No one's ever loved me
the way you love me.
I need you.
Be with me.
(lighthearted soft music)
I love you.
♫ Touch me like you need forgiveness
♫ Touch me like you need to know
♫ Touch me like you know what I am showing
♫ Touch me like you've felt the madness
♫ Of a love you've never known before
♫ Touch me like you know what I am going
♫ It takes more than a kiss
to break this heart of mine
♫ It takes more than a
kiss, so follow through
♫ It takes more than a kiss
to make this all seem right
♫ And that's more than
I'll ever take from you
(slow deep music)
♫ Touch me like you felt desired
♫ Touch me like you've felt the pain
♫ Touch me like you know what I am saying
♫ Touch me like you felt the fire
♫ Touch me like you'll burn again
♫ Touch me like you know the price I paid
♫ It takes more than a kiss
to break this heart of mine
♫ It takes more than a
kiss, so follow through
♫ It takes more than a kiss
to make this all seem right
♫ And that's more than
I'll ever take from you
(MultiCom Jingle)
- [Man] The world runs on
two things, love and fear.
Everything else, just filler.
A spinoff, then there's
our prime mover, fate.
Or whatever you call that
force that steers us along
the path via coincidences and
supposedly chance encounters.
Why was I born a roughneck
kid in a poor part of town?
Who knows, I sure have no idea.
People talk about free
will, free will, forget it.
You might as well talk
about free Willy because
it's all just cause and effect,
we just can't see all the causes.
But we sure feel all the effects.
I mean, what does free
will have to do with you
getting into a fatal car
wreck on your way to work
because you left three minutes later
or earlier than usual?
And why did the other guy's
plane crash and not yours?
And why did Harriet Boomba,
your nextdoor neighbor,
win the lottery and you didn't,
and you both bought your tickets together?
And why do children die of starvation when
murderers pass away
peacefully in their sleep
50 years after their crime?
I don't know.
We're all just victims, victims of fate.
Fate just seems to like some
of us better than others.
I don't know, maybe that's what karma is.
Emotions and fate are
kind of like some weird
wrestling team.
They were together to
control us, emotions blind us
and bind us, we're
prisoners of our emotions,
prisoners of love, prisoners of fear.
We don't choose who we love, we're chosen.
If love comes at all, it chooses us.
And we don't choose what we fear,
we were imprinted long ago before we had
the ability to make a choice.
And the problem with emotions
is they're illogical.
We're victims of love, prisoners of fear,
and fate, like love and fear,
often has its own agenda,
one we can't read.
Brothers become mortal
enemies, perfect strangers
meet and fall in love overnight.
Why?
There's no answer.
(loud bang)
When I was a kid, I knew this
guy called Vincent Volpy,
he was another kid just
like the rest of us.
But Vince was a real trouble maker.
I mean, this guy was bad.
He didn't cause the kind
of trouble other kids did.
Some kids would like maybe
tie tin cans to a dog's tail.
Vincent would beat the
dog to death with a stick.
And when we got into trouble,
do you think Vincent ever took the rap?
No way, he was better at
getting out of trouble
than was getting into it.
But he would get busted
and sooner or later
get sent away again.
The cops hated him.
From the time he was 11, he'd
all ready served three years
in JD halls all around the city.
One time Vincent had
this idea for a score.
He went (mumbles) on this clothing store,
they had a lot of cash.
It'd be a big score,
especially for kids our age.
We hit the store, we got
in, we're getting out
but the cops were there.
I guess we triggered some alarms.
They were all over us.
Vincent and I, we took off, hightailed it.
For once, I got away, Vincent didn't.
The cops grabbed him and he
took a beating, a bad one.
I mean, the cops were
looking to give it to
this guy for a long time.
This was payback for being
a real pain in the butt
and Vince didn't have any parents who
kicked up a stink about it either.
(boy yelling)
(soft intense music)
Well, two days after they
got Vincent, they busted me.
We never spoke again, Vincent and I.
I never liked the guy anyway.
(heavy breathing)
(intense rhythmic music)
For the next 10 years,
I fell in and out of
gladiator academies, from
one country to the other.
Was that societal retribution
for childhood crimes?
Or was that fate preparing
me for what was to come,
transforming me into what I needed
to be in order to survive?
I became a tough guy, very tough.
A pit fighter when I got out of jail.
The only way to make money.
(eerie soft music)
(light squealing)
(tense deep music)
(man screaming)
(exciting fast music)
(people cheering)
(man grunting)
- [Man] Take it and use it!
(deep rhythmic music)
- [Man] Vincent, he was
dealt with some might believe
a kind of (mumbles).
- You broke my nose, you bastard!
- [Man] He worked his way in (mumbles),
being the big guy on the ground business.
Sure, he took his knocks
but doesn't everybody?
(men grunting)
(man yelling)
Then I became a hitman.
(guns firing)
(intense dramatic music)
(man laughing)
- What's the matter, (mumbles)?
Don't you like my show?
What's the matter, you
want a better receipt?
(intense rhythmic music)
(man laughing)
(gun firing)
(loud explosion)
(man laughing)
(loud screaming)
Come on!
Come on!
(man yelling)
You wanna lock me up, huh?
You wanna take me on, huh?
Come on and kill me!
If you wanna lock me up, lock me up!
Bye bye.
(man screaming)
(intense rhythmic music)
(man laughing wildly)
- How Paul, how?
(soft eerie music)
- [Man] I went a little off the deep end,
lost my mind for a while but I came back.
And somewhere along the way,
I guess I saw some kind of daylight.
I got out of the tough guy business,
but I still had a rep
for making things right
and that stuck with me.
(dark eerie music)
- [Man] Mr. Armstrong, I
understand you were interested
in the quality of our competitors.
- [Mr. Armstrong] Are they good?
- [Man] Of course we offer nothing but
the highest caliber of professionals.
(gun firing)
(dark intense music)
(man grunting)
(fast rhythmic music)
- [Man] Enforcer, hitman,
whatever was needed,
Vincent was there.
You needed somebody removed,
Vincent was your man.
Loans not being paid
on time, call Vincent.
Caught your wife cheating
with another guy,
Vincent was your boy.
He worked hard and it paid off for him.
Pretty soon he was the guy giving orders.
Good ol' Vince, I always
knew he'd make it to the top.
(intense dramatic music)
(grunting)
- [Man] Let him go!
(glass shattering)
- Get your asses up.
You, take Stollman.
Let's bring the kid along too.
(soft intense music)
- [Man] Now I had heard
Vincent had met some woman
he fell madly in love with
and she had fallen for him.
I mean, the guy's charming,
good looking, charismatic.
Fate, they met each other,
fell in love and were married.
The trouble is Vincent can
grate on you after a while
because he tends to treat
people like possessions.
Typical Vincent behavior.
And this broad, she wasn't going to stand
for any of Vincent's crap.
- Excuse me, do you have a light?
- Well, I most certainly hope so.
(woman laughing)
(grunting)
- Nasty habit.
- [Man] She had a mind of her own,
had her plans of her own.
So she took a few lovers on the side
and let Vincent know about it.
It drove him absolutely
nuts from what I hear.
- You want more?
Come on baby, get up, come and get it.
- (mumbles) I'm gonna beat you (mumbles).
- Is that what you wanted,
is that what you asked for,
you sleazy son of a bitch!
Take it, take it, take this, that!
- [Man] Hey, hey!
- [Man] The harder she tried to get away,
the further he went to keep her.
She had lovers, Vincent
had her lovers killed.
She threatened to run away,
Vincent had her drugged.
Little by little, he wore her down.
(deep rhythmic music)
She had plans of her own.
She actually wanted a career.
Believe it or not, she
wanted to be a doctor.
- The evidence ain't getting any warmer,
so why don't you just chill, sister?
How well you know these guys?
- [Man] They're my best buddies.
- Now, did anybody know
that you were up there?
- No one.
- If you think of something,
contact Sheriff Webster.
This is his office phone number,
I'll fax my report down.
- [Man] She couldn't
stand Vincent anymore.
But it was gonna be
tough to get rid of him
so it was gonna be tough
to get out of the marriage
because Vincent is very obsessive
and used to getting what he wants.
(deep scary music)
(man grunting)
- I love this girl.
I loved her from the first time I saw her,
the first time I met her.
See, it just, it hit me!
It hit me right between the eyes, Marcus.
Like a thunderbolt.
You see, and that's God,
that's God getting involved.
That's magic.
God doesn't make it easy, no.
It makes the old, makes
the old man hate you.
Makes the old man say
you're a bad influence
and you can't come over.
Just a bad guy and you have
to take the old man's head
and you have to stick it in the toilet,
and you've gotta flush it a few times.
But I loved her!
I know because I always
accept her bad habits.
When she was a little girl,
she chewed bubble gum.
It would get in her braces.
Did that bother me, no, no.
You see, Marcus, when you love somebody,
these things, they don't matter.
- Love is great.
- No, no, love isn't great.
It's not.
- Absolutely, love sucks.
- No, it, love doesn't suck.
No, it doesn't suck.
I, I loved her, Marcus.
- Who?
- My wife!
Marcus, what's in your diet?
I've been talking about my wife.
It's a problem, it's a problem.
It's driving me insane,
literally, it's driving me insane.
- You don't have to tell me, boss.
Women are stress.
- Stress, no, no, this is stress.
We're talking about a huge problem!
I'm talking about a titanic
jumbo problem, Marcus!
I'm obsessed and it's not healthy.
- [Man] This is the story
of three people's lives
inextricably woven together
by the strands of fate
and bond by the chains of emotions.
- Excuse me, do you know
where John Ryan lives?
- Yeah, I know where John lives.
- He lives here?
Which apartment?
You're John Ryan, aren't you?
- Maybe.
- Mr. Ryan, I need your help.
- [John] I don't help anymore.
- [Woman] Look, you don't
even know what it is
I need help with yet!
- It doesn't matter, I'm not interested.
- Three grand a day
says you are interested.
- Lady, it's not about the money.
Why don't you just leave me alone?
- Look, you helped a couple of my friends
out of a pretty tough situation,
and they thought you could help me.
Please, I think my
husband's gonna kill me.
- All my instincts told
me this girl was trouble,
that I should walk away right now.
Then why don't you call the cops?
- I can't call the cops.
- [John] She knew I was the right guy
and she knew she had me wrapped
around her little finger.
- Look, you don't seem to
understand the situation
here, all right?
My husband is a ruthless,
sadistic son of a bitch
who keeps me in a fucking ivory tower!
We're talking about a man who
buys senators, and judges,
and cops, so no, Mr. Ryan,
I can't go to the cops!
Just me coming here is
jeopardizing my life, okay!
So, are you gonna help me or not?
(woman sobbing)
- It's all right, I'm gonna help you.
It's all right.
- Thank you.
- Blow your nose.
Listen, first thing's first,
this is not a safe place.
Do you have someplace safe
that we can take you to?
- Uh, uh, my apartment, I guess.
- Does he know about it?
- No, (mumbles).
- You sure?
- Yeah, I'm sure.
- Okay, why don't we take
you there, all right?
- Okay.
- All right, let's go.
(high pitched dramatic music)
- Then we'll just whack your wife.
- No, don't whack my wife!
I, I love my wife.
Why would I want you whack her?
- Okay, it's just that
you're not being too clear.
- Clear?
Clear is logic.
The point of the entire
dissertation, Marcus,
is that, that love and
logic don't go together.
- Okay, boss.
- Okay what?
- Okay, we'll take care of the problem.
(tense rhythmic music)
- Okay.
- [John] But she never
lost sight of her dream
to one day escape her husband.
And that's how I came into the picture.
She came to me to help her
get away from her husband.
I didn't know who she was at first,
and I didn't know who she was married to.
And then fate laid me a very cruel blow.
I fell in love with her before I found out
she was married to Vincent.
And when I did find out,
it didn't matter because
I was stone cold in love with this broad.
(soft peaceful music)
She told me that she had
something to confess,
that she couldn't help herself but
that she was falling in love with me.
Like a fool, I believed her.
I wanted her to be in love with me because
I had fallen stone cold in love with her.
She was caring and loving.
She made me feel alive, she
made me feel like a man.
No one could be this caring and loving
and be faking it.
Could they?
You know the difference
between falling in love with
somebody and loving somebody?
The falling in love
with part doesn't last.
That's the initial romantic
lust part of an affair,
of a relationship.
But loving somebody is
the mature and durable
side of a relationship,
learning to love the ordinary.
Now I had never made it
that far in a relationship,
but I thought this time maybe, just maybe,
I had a chance at making
it work with this woman.
But first, we had to take care of Vincent.
(playful music)
♫ Touch me like you felt desire
♫ Touch me like you felt the pain
♫ Touch me like you know what I am saying
♫ Touch me like you felt the fire
♫ Touch me like you'll burn again
♫ Touch me like you know the price I pay
♫ It takes more than a kiss
to break this heart of mine
♫ It takes more than a kiss
♫ So follow through
♫ It takes more than a kiss
to make this all seem right
♫ And that's more than
I'll ever take from you
- I think it's strange
you're cleaning that gun
over my chair, could you please?
Just use some Scott towel or something?
(mumbles)
Look, if we were in your car, okay
I would lay everything down very nicely,
being very sure not to get
anything on your interior.
- See, see, you don't have
to get so upset about this.
- I'm not upset about
it but I just, you know,
if it were your car, I would do that so--
- Okay, fine.
- I expect the same courtesy.
- Look, I'm taking some Scott towels.
- All right, just put it down.
- Okay?
- Okay, that's fine.
- Now would you listen to me?
- My clothes have never,
you never looked so good.
You look good in that.
- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.
- Good thing you have small feet.
You know what they say
about small feet, don't you?
- Yeah, small shoes.
(woman laughing)
- Exactly.
- Ooh, nice oranges.
- And when you did stop
becoming like this?
- I've been learning some things.
I've been taking some classes and, uh,
you know, it's very important to me and
I'm trying to teach you some things.
I'm trying to teach you about life and
I'm worried about you, Jake.
- You're worried about me?
- You're gonna die an unhappy man!
- I'm gonna die an unhappy man.
- A very unhappy man.
- No, no, wait, that's them up there.
- Do you know what, let's get some coffee?
- You mean like fresh brewed?
- No, no, like you know,
brew it back at the house.
- You wanna make it?
- Yeah.
- Can you make coffee?
- Yes, I make coffee.
- Okay, I'll get some.
- I'll get some fruit and stuff.
(intense soft music)
Yeah, just keep going, just keep going.
Back a little more and then
keep going all the way back.
Hey!
No!
(light whispering)
- Just get in the back
of the car, all right.
- No!
(gun firing)
(intense rhythmic music)
- Back the fuck down!
Back the fuck down right now!
- Why did you shoot her?
- This has nothing to do with you,
this is just between me and the girl
so put the gun down now!
- Why did you shoot her?
- [Man] Put the gun down!
- Why?
- [Man] Nice and slow, put the gun down.
- Why did you shoot her?
- I did not shoot her,
just put the gun down now.
- Why did you shoot her?
- [Man] Just like that, put the gun down.
(gun firing)
- Shut the fuck up!
(man yelling)
- Shit, you've got blood on my boot.
You know how much a pair
of boots like these cost?
(mumbles) leather.
- Let's shoot the motherfucker!
- Who the fuck are you guys?
- Shut the fuck up!
- What do you mean somebody shot her?
- It means that somebody shot your wife.
- What did I tell you assholes to do?
- You told us to take care of the problem.
- Well, jumpin' Jesus on a pogo stick!
Well, how the hell is she?
- Well, she's not doing too good.
(deep intense music)
- So, she's in a hospital?
- She ain't in no hospital?
- Where is she, Marcus?
- She's at the morgue.
- What's she doing there?
- She's dead.
- My wife's dead, she's dead?
- That's what I've been
trying to tell you all along,
somebody shot her, she's dead.
(man sobbing)
- It's my wife.
(man moaning)
It's a (beep) catastrophe.
- Boss, it's okay.
- No, no, no, no, no it's not okay.
No, because that's my wife.
Yeah, what we gotta do, you know,
is get you to find this guy.
- You know, I figured you'd say that.
- What, you second
guessing me now, Marcus?
- No, no.
I'm just trying to tell
you we got the guy.
- You found the guy?
- We got a guy.
- Oh, fuck, that's terrific!
- No, wait there's...
There's another thing.
- What?
- This guy we got, he was...
He was doing her.
- Doing her?
- You know.
- Oh, wow.
You didn't enjoy telling
me that, did you, Marcus?
- No, it wasn't easy.
- So, where is this guy?
- He's with Dwight and
Conrad down at the warehouse.
They're hanging.
- Oh, that's good.
Because I'm gonna, I'm
gonna fuck him up, you know.
(loud pounding)
(man grunting)
What do you know about Picasso?
- I heard he was an asshole.
- Well, he was an artist,
of course he was an asshole.
- What is this?
- This, this is a wake.
I'm in mourning, you must
know my wife was killed today.
- Your wife?
- Yes.
(man yelling)
- Oh, what is this?
What do you want?
- John!
Yeah, I know your name.
I know your address, I
know everything about you.
I know when he's gonna die.
- Boss, I think he's dead.
- See, I know all kinds of things.
So, the one thing that you
do not wanna do is lie to me.
- I--
- Shut up, please, fuck!
Do not talk.
Just why?
Why did you kill my wife?
- I didn't kill your wife.
Two guys shot her, I shot one of the guys
and one of the guys is
dead right over there.
- Wrong!
Listen to me you fucking cock sucker!
You just fucking listen to me, okay?
Look at me.
Somebody killed my fucking wife.
Now, the boys here said
they saw you there.
- No!
- Yes, yes they did.
Now, I love this woman, John.
Have you ever loved someone?
Oh, Jesus Christ.
Okay, okay.
I'm supposed to believe
that you're innocent.
Well, Conrad, Dwight,
you probably know this.
In a court of law, you're
innocent until proven guilty,
right, but I don't have
fucking time to prove
that you're guilty!
So, we're gonna do things
fucking all different.
(loud pounding)
(man grunting)
Am I cynical?
- [John] I didn't kill her, man!
- Oh, you didn't kill her?
You didn't kill her?
- I didn't kill her!
- Ah, I didn't kill her!
Now, if you are mister fucking innocent,
what were you doing with her
at six in the fucking morning?
No, you didn't kill her,
you didn't kill her.
Well, if you didn't kill her,
what the fuck did you do?
Did you, did you fuck my wife?
Holy shit.
Is that what you did, did you fuck her?
Did you make her moan and sweat?
Did you make her tell you secrets that
only women tell when they're cumming?
(deep scary music)
Okay.
If you're innocent, can you prove it?
Can you prove it, yes or no?
- No!
- No, strike one.
(man yelling)
Why should I believe you?
- You should believe me
because I'm innocent.
- Strike two!
(man screaming)
Do you believe in divine intervention?
Well?
- I've never given it that much thought.
- Well, yeah, I think
it's time you did because
rumor has it that that
god protects his lambs,
he protects the innocent,
he's just and if he is,
if he is just, if the world doesn't end,
if, if, if, if all this is true, John,
then you should be able
to prove your innocence.
(man laughing)
I got it, what we'll do is
we'll have physical ordeals,
five physical ordeals like the five fates.
If you survive, you're innocent.
But if you die, if you
die, you're fucking guilty.
You're guilty, I get my revenge and
we prove the existence of God.
That's so fucking cool.
What do you think?
- What do you think I think?
- Well, I think you would
think something, what,
meaningful, deep, profound.
- Well, I hate to disappoint you but
I don't believe in the existence of God.
- Then you are in a shit load of trouble.
This first trial is about will,
John, the will to survive.
I want you to think about it, a man alone
against impossible odds, only his wits,
his resourcefulness to aide him.
It's gonna be great, John.
And who knows, you, you may live.
You ever been to bull fight, Conrad?
It makes football look like a game for
fags and old ladies, man.
I was 12 years old and
the matador that day was
a guy named Christian Jose Pietro.
He was like a real dashing young man.
All the women in Spain
just swooned over this guy,
killed with such style.
Now the bull, I don't know
too much about the bull.
But what I do know is in
the holding pen before
the fight, he gored this (mumbles).
Spilled his guts all over the place.
That guy was very (mumbles).
It was about 104 degrees and
the old man bought me a Coke
and I was sitting in there this huge arena
filled with Spaniards, and
they just love bull fights.
They love, they love blood, they love red,
they love tomatoes, it's
all like interconnected.
And I remember the start of the fight.
The women had all ready
been throwing out photos
of themselves and flowers, and I thought,
is that appropriate, the
fight hasn't even begun?
But they knew Christian
was gonna win, you see?
I wasn't so sure when
I saw this bull come in
because he wasn't
goaded, he wasn't pushed,
he wanted to do this thing.
The bull comes out, he looks at Christian,
they stare at each other.
The bull makes his first pass and I think
Christian's finished right there,
but he waits to the last second.
Waits to the last second
and he throws his cape
up in a flourish of red, the
bull misses him by that much,
oh, that much.
This goes on three times, the
whole crowd is going crazy.
But then I was sitting there
by myself as a 12 years old,
and I could sense a certain
palpable convolution
of the molecules.
I think it was just me but
there's a certain stillness.
Suddenly the bull began to paw the earth.
And again, he centered on Christian.
He began his charge
but this time the bull,
he made a little fake, right.
And Christian was completely thrown off
and the bull dug his horn
right into Christian's leg.
I can remember seeing the flesh.
There was blood all over the place.
It was like the tables
had turned right then.
Christian turned around and
he looked to his toreador
and he was panicked, I
could see it on his face.
It was really something.
All he wanted to do was
get this fight over with.
He wanted to kill this
bull, bandage his leg up
and fuck some senorita.
But the bull had other plans, right?
The bull goes back down to the other end,
almost like he's waiting
for Christian to get ready.
Christian now has a pinion,
a spear in his hand.
The bull comes down three more times.
Christian couldn't do a damn thing,
he couldn't get this pinion
in him, couldn't hurt him.
The bull comes down the fourth time,
people are very quiet
now, it's not just me.
The bull gets a horn in his cape.
The bull is so strong,
he throws his head back
and I still remember seeing Christian
cartwheeling through the air.
He lands with a great thud.
And I looked at him.
He gets up and his arm is like cracked.
It's like zigzagging, it's like he's got
three articulating joints.
This woman, this Spanish
woman right in front of me,
she pukes all over herself.
Everybody's like deathly quiet.
He comes back one more time,
he's gonna finish Christian off but
somehow this matador, out of nowhere,
pulls the pinion up, one ends in the dirt,
one ends pointing straight up like this.
The bull skewers himself, quite hideous,
people are in shock.
The bull goes back one more time,
he turns and looks at Christian.
Christian calls for another pinion.
Nobody knows what's gonna happen.
It's a mess.
(loud pounding)
(intense fast music)
The bull charges toward him one last time.
Do you know what Christian does?
He takes his pinion,
javelin style, throws it.
It goes right in the bull's eye.
The bull continues, a pinion
sticking out of his eye.
That pinion is driven right
into Christian's chest.
The two of them hurdle
together into the end boards.
And of course, through the law of physics,
the pinion was driven simultaneously into
the brain of the bull.
What a great sport.
(exciting intense music)
(man yelling)
- You better take your (mumbles).
- Second trial, John.
This one's about personal integrity.
How much, John, are you
willing to sacrifice
in order to preserve it, huh?
Of course the real
question here is do you got
the balls to admit that
you're the kind of man
that you know you are?
So John, you enjoy your bull fight?
- Oh yeah, that was great.
- You know what's funny, Conrad and I were
just talking about bullfights.
Did you know that Picasso
loved to bullfight?
- No, I didn't know that.
- Well, tell me, did you
ever see his painting,
After the Bullfight?
- Can't say that I have.
- Well, you know what?
I'm pretty sure that he saw
the same matador that I saw.
Can you imagine that?
- That's real interesting.
- Yeah, well anyhow, I'd
like to congratulate you
on a job well done.
Dwight tells me you were successful.
Yes?
- Yeah.
- Yeah!
God was smiling on you today.
- Yeah, well, you know
I don't believe in God.
- OH yeah, that's right, that's right.
I do know how you feel,
you're an atheist, right?
- No, a pragmatist.
- A pragmatist.
Well, pleased to meet
you, I'm a Vincent Volpy
and I'm pleased to meet you, John.
- Shake his hand.
- You're not gonna just
leave me hanging here?
Come on, you just won a sport,
that's proper protocol that
you would shake my hand.
- Shake his hand, slick!
- Yes, yes!
I'm glad you shook because otherwise
we'd put your dick up here.
(man grunting)
Now John, this is your second trial.
This isn't about the big question,
it's about a couple small
points in your story
that I find bothersome.
- You're not gonna torture me?
I'll tell you right
now, if you torture me,
I'll fucking tell you anything.
I mean, you won't even know
what's the fucking truth
because I'll just tell you anything.
- Well I know, John,
I used to be Catholic.
No, I'm not gonna torture you.
I don't have to torture you
because inside I can feel,
I can sense when somebody's
telling me the truth.
Now call it strange,
sometimes I find it hard to
believe myself but I can tell.
I can tell when somebody's lying to me.
- Well look, if you can do that then you
gotta know I'm telling you
the truth about your wife.
You gotta know that I didn't kill her.
- Well, that's just the thing,
as equally as strange but
sometimes I get this gray area.
Sometimes it's muddled, call
it the fickle hand of God,
I don't know what.
Sometimes I just can't tell.
- I'm telling you, I'm...
- Listen, you listen to me.
Because you know what this is,
this is my polygraph machine
and this is your motivation.
This isn't about the big question,
this is your second trial
about little points.
Now, the way we're gonna
work this is I'm gonna
ask you a series of 10 questions.
If you tell me the truth, nothing happens.
However, if you lie to
me, I chop a finger off.
All right, have you got that?
- You wanna hear the truth?
- Now--
- You don't wanna hear no fucking truth!
- Yeah, I wanna hear the truth.
And if you don't believe I can tell it,
why don't we do a little pregame trial.
Okay, let's do this, you
just make up any fact
and I'll communicate to you
whether or not you are lying.
- If I make it up, it is a lie.
- Make something up or tell me the truth.
- Speak.
- John, tell me anything.
I will guess whether you are
lying or telling the truth.
- My mother's maiden name was Thompson.
- Look at me.
That's true.
Again.
- My father had a drinking problem.
- Now, that's a lie.
Tell me something hard.
- My first girlfriend was
called Kathryn Taylor.
- That's true.
- One time we were upstairs
in her parents house.
We were in bed.
Thought the parents were out
and her father walked in,
in the bedroom in the middle of when I
was having sex with her.
- It's true, you wacky guy, you.
- Her left nipple was
larger than her right.
- That's a lie.
- Her right nipple was
larger than her left.
- I've had enough of this,
have I proven it to you?
(deep intense music)
Now, John, John, you
listen very carefully.
What we're gonna do here,
we're gonna have 10 questions.
Now, I'm gonna take the
little motivator here
and I'm gonna point it at
each one of these pinkies.
Now, I have 10 questions,
if you tell the truth,
nothing happens.
However, if you lie, I'll
cut one of these off.
Okay, so at the end of this little game,
I will have all my answers.
Conrad, help me out, let's
get onto the real thing.
(deep scary music)
(mumbles)
- [Conrad] Kiss your
fingers goodbye, John.
- Now John, remember, 10
questions, answer precisely,
succinctly, and honestly.
And may the force be with you.
Question number one, when
did you meet my wife?
- I met her last night.
- That is true, where did you meet her?
- Excuse me, do you know
where John Ryan lives?
- Yeah, I know where John lives.
- He lives here, which apartment?
You're John Ryan, aren't you?
- A club called, Cloud Nine.
- Cloud Nine, true, that's tacky but true.
Guess that's a real nice place, is it?
- Oh yeah, it's just, you
gotta go there sometime.
- Well, I shall, I will!
Me and Conrad will go down
there next time we want
some skank, right?
- Right, boss.
(man laughing)
- Okay John, what did you talk about?
- I think my husband's gonna kill me.
- Why don't you call the cops?
- I can't call the cops!
- Nothing much.
She told me she liked the Hong Kong boys.
John Wu.
- That's true.
She liked the killer.
Well, there are seven more questions,
you have seven fingers to go.
John, did she mention me?
- [Woman] My husband is a ruthless,
sadistic son of a bitch.
- Answer the man.
- She talked about her husband.
- Oh, she talked about her husband.
Kind of like, I like to tell
you that I have a husband,
something like that?
- Look, if you can do
what you say you can do,
then you gotta know
what I'm saying's true.
- You know, I can't tell.
I don't know that.
What did she say?
- I can't take it anymore!
(soft dramatic music)
- Well--
- Shut up!
Well, I guess that's one of the basic laws
of the courtroom, isn't it?
John, if you don't know
the answer to a question,
don't ask it, right?
- You got that right.
- Yeah, well I guess what upset me was
the malicious way that you told me,
kind of like, oh, your friend
died and then you laughed,
ha ha.
- If you don't wanna hear the truth,
don't ask the questions.
- Oh, I wanna hear the truth.
And don't worry, John, I can handle it.
I just want you to tell
me what happened next.
(woman sobbing)
- It's all right.
I'm gonna help you.
We had a few more drinks.
A couple more laughs at your expense
and she said she had to leave.
- I see.
It's true, and did you
leave with her, John?
- Yeah, I left with her.
- Where did you go?
- Went to the Lucky You Motel.
- Well, that's true, that's true.
And that's nine questions, one more to go.
John, what do you think
is worse, pain itself
or the anticipation of pain?
- Is that the 10th question?
- No, this is just like conversation,
conversation between buddies.
Personally, I think it's
the anticipation of pain
because the pain itself is over.
As soon as it happens, it's over.
And it's usually, it's usually not as bad
as you think it's going to be.
Because pain itself has a
beginning and it has an end.
Usually it's not as bad as you think,
and when it is, you
pass out from the shock.
But John, the anticipation
of pain goes on and on.
It doesn't stop until something happens,
and until something
happens, it doesn't stop.
It gnaws away at your brain.
But anyhow, let's get
to the last question.
Question number 10,
John, the bonus question,
did you fuck my wife?
- Oh god, oh god.
- [Vince] Did you fuck my wife?
- Yeah, I fucked her.
(deep rhythmic music)
(loud screaming)
(loud intense music)
(man laughing)
(fast rhythmic music)
- All right, trial three, Johnny.
I think we'll call this one endurance.
Endurance, yes, endurance
is the name of the game
this time around.
How much can you dig,
Johnny, before you break?
How long, baby, before
you throw in the towel
and surrender to the inevitable?
(loud panting)
(light whistling)
Bow, check, check, test, test, test.
Ch, ch, ch, is this on, is this on?
Come in Tokyo.
John, John!
Wakey, wakey, buddy!
Wakey, wakey.
Hey, chain boy, chain boy!
Eh, there you are, how you feeling?
How you feeling, buddy boy?
You like that bandage, you like that?
I did that because I love
you, I care about you.
Okay, let's start the
show, let's start the show.
Welcome everybody, welcome to the show.
I've got my cohost with me,
as always, lovely Dwight,
the lovely Conrad, and our guest, John.
Hi, John, how you doing?
K, Johnny, third trial,
buddy, third trial.
Today, Johnny, we're gonna
play obstacle, obstacle.
Now, Johnny, you know
what you do in this one?
You loosen those chains
and you get out of there
on the count of three because
these are my obstacles,
my cohosts.
They're gonna be shooting
little bullets at you.
Have you got that, John?
We clear?
- How do I win this game?
- What?
- How do I win this game?
- You gotta get out the door.
Are you ready, Johnny, are you ready?
I'm gonna start counting.
That's right, you better get
that chain off, get it off.
A one, that's one, John.
Wa, wa, one, to, to, two.
Two, John, yeah, you're almost out.
Two, three!
Try that door, Johnny!
Three, come on boys!
Woo hoo, run you little
fucker, run you little prick!
(guns firing)
Run daddy, run daddy, run, run, run!
John, listen, you can't
stay under there, all right?
This sucks, we're not
having any fun whatsoever.
Listen John, come out.
John, I swear to god, I'm not
gonna shoot you, all right.
I just wanna talk to you, all right.
Swear to god, time out, time out.
Look at me.
Hi, hey, how you doing?
Listen, this just, this really bites and
I'm not having a good
time and you're not either
because if you don't start running around,
I'm just gonna send the guys down and
shoot you right there, okay.
So, let's have some fun.
Go back under there, I'm
gonna give you to three
and then you better start running, okay?
Or we're just gonna come down.
- You're fucking crazy!
- I know that, now get back under there.
You got until three.
All right, go!
One, two, three.
(guns firing)
Ladies and gentlemen,
the show is (mumbles).
Now love is neither created nor destroyed.
You must either choose
love or you must choose
to discard it.
Now John, I choose love.
What about you, Brother John?
Love, John, is faith.
Faith, John, is religion.
John, my religion is love.
John is a low down,
sticky, smelly (mumbles).
All we can do in this life
is express the most love
that we have at any one time.
You should have experienced love but
I fear you haven't, Brother
John, I fear you haven't.
You are just a sick, twisted, demented,
sad little puppy dog with no
love to keep himself alive.
I'm expressing all the love I have.
(intense fast music)
(guns firing)
- Hey (mumbles), you don't
know shit about love, man.
- John, if you do not shut the fuck up,
I'm gonna get Dwight out
there to use you like a woman.
- You never loved your wife!
You know what, Vincent, you
confused ownership with love.
There's a major fucking difference.
You never loved your wife,
all you did was own her!
- You shut your god damn mouth,
you little scum sucking
motherfucking roach penis!
You think because you fucked
my wife, it means anything!
It doesn't you know, she treated you like
a fucking vibrator, that's all you were!
She compared you to me
and I'm Mr. Wonderful.
You understand?
I don't care if she put
the whole fucking Green Bay
Packer football team up
her ass, you understand?
We had a love, John, that
could not be fucking sullied.
It could not be sullied!
- And you know what (mumbles),
she didn't wanna be owned by you!
(deep dramatic music)
(guns firing)
- John, I swear, before this is over,
I will see the shit leave your intestines,
the piss leave your badder,
the air leave your lungs
and the blood leave your veins.
The last thing you'll see is
my face and I'll be singing.
♫ Swing low sweet chariot
♫ Coming for to carry me home
♫ Swing low, sweet chariot
♫ Johnny's gonna get blown away.
(guns firing loudly)
(intense rhythmic music)
(man yelling)
Hiya, Johnny, good game!
(man grunting)
(men yelling)
(loud thumping)
Get him off me!
Get him off me!
For Christ's sakes, thanks
for taking your fucking time.
It's just a game, John.
That was poor fucking sportsmanship.
So, you know what I gotta do, huh?
That means you gotta be penalized.
Let me see, what was it,
two minutes for (mumbles).
(grunting)
What else was there, oh?
Two minutes for tripping.
I think there was some
high sticking, right?
Yeah, I think there's about five minutes
for high sticking.
(man groaning)
Oh and, uh, there's a
little steering I think.
(man yelling)
Of course, five minutes for fighting.
(dramatic intense music)
How you doing, buddy?
Fourth trial, John.
This one is about success.
(engine revving)
There's no possibility
of you ever achieving it,
but I guess mostly this
will be test of character
because I wanna see how you
do in a no win situation.
How's that thumb?
- Fuck you.
- John, I wanna introduce
you to my friend, Joan.
Joan, this is John.
(mumbles)
Shut up, shut up, thank you.
Joan is a mother of three.
She is an excellent, excellent woman.
She is very innocent and she's a friend
of my dead ex-wife.
She doesn't deserve to die.
- [Joan] Vincent!
- I said shut up!
There is a tube running from
the exhaust pipe of this car
into the driver's compartment.
Now, Joan is inhaling
carbon monoxide as we speak
and she's been doing that
for about a minute now.
I'm not sure if you're
aware of physiology,
but carbon monoxide is
extremely deadly because
it adheres to hemoglobin.
Oxygen also adheres to hemoglobin.
If there's too much carbon monoxide,
there's no room for oxygen.
Now, she has now about five
and a half minutes to live.
This game is called
blind man's bluff, John.
It is your job to get here out of the car.
Her life is in your hands.
Right, Joan?
- Asshole!
- Shut up!
Now, your hands are manacled,
but your hands and fingers
are fully functional,
so you can open the car door.
Again, John, her life is in your hands.
We will be spinning you,
we will be disorienting you
but you just have to listen to me and
get to the car before she dies.
Let's walk him back that way, boys.
And you shut up in there!
You're stupid, you
breathe so fucking fast,
you won't have any air left.
Your respiration increases!
Okay, let's move him, a little quicker.
This way!
Okay, okay, Johnny.
Okay, Johnny, how you feeling, buddy?
Okay, here I go.
Okay, Johnny, first direction.
- Where's the fucking car, Vincent?
- I'm gonna tell you that if
you'd shut up for a second!
First direction, follow very carefully,
you got about, oh,
let's see, three minutes
and 40 seconds, okay.
First direction is gonna be
straight ahead four paces.
Ready, go?
Go fast!
(man laughing)
Oh, sorry, that was my fault, John.
I thought we were in Australia.
Okay Johnny, four strides
straight ahead, swear to god.
Okay, stop, stop!
(fast rhythmic music)
Oh, you hit an obstacle there.
Okay, go to your left three strides.
(man grunting)
Oh, that was bad.
Come on, you gotta stand up.
Okay John, turn to your left, four paces.
- Where's the fucking car?
- I'm telling you, just
fucking listen to me!
Little to your left, little
to your left, that's it.
I don't think he can hear,
I don't think he can hear.
(man yelling)
(light pounding)
(man laughing)
One more he should be gone.
Okay, well, you got about
five seconds, Johnny.
You got about five seconds.
Oh, I love that one, I love that one.
Let's get a drink, I (mumbles).
(light panting)
(man laughing)
Johnny, Johnny!
Hey, Johnny, John.
Come on, Johnny, get up, can you do it?
You got 35 seconds, you
can still save her, hurry.
- Where's the car?
- It's right ahead of you, john, go!
Keep going, keep going.
This way, this way, straight
ahead, Johnny, straight ahead.
You got the car.
Feel, that's the window,
that's the window.
Okay, that's the handle.
Get that door open, there
she is, there she is!
You got her!
- Are you okay, are you okay?
(fast rhythmic music)
- [Vincent] She's dead, she's dead.
My watch is wrong, fucked up, sorry, John.
- You fucker!
(man yelling)
(man laughing chaotically)
- Hey guys, I gotta get a drink.
Drag him inside when you're done.
Last trial, John.
Death, yours or mine?
Yours or mine?
Hey John.
Johnny, get up, would you?
Come on Johnny, our friends are upstairs
and they're playing video games
and I don't have a friend.
Hey, get the fuck up!
- Fuck you.
- Fuck you.
Fuck you!
What, you need some sleep or something?
Johnny, come on, sleep is for beginners.
You and I, we're not beginners.
Now get the fuck up!
Come on, get up, we're celebrating.
Let's go.
(man grunting)
- What the fuck are we celebrating?
- Well, I'll tell you what.
You take a fucking drink
and I'll tell you, buddy.
What, it ain't poison, John.
(light gurgling)
Come on, you'll like it.
Drink it.
It's not your brand?
You know, John,
we've had a memorable couple of days, huh?
It's almost been fun.
- You gonna shoot me now?
- Eventually.
I mean, I, I mean I can't
help but think that,
I don't know, maybe under
different circumstances--
- Don't.
- Maybe--
- Don't say it.
Under any circumstances,
I could never, ever
be friends with a twisted, fucked up,
piece of work like you.
- Well, that's very nice, John,
but that's not what I was gonna say.
I was gonna say under
difference circumstances,
well, I just might let you live.
(mumbles)
- The arrangement was if
I survived the ordeal.
- Yes.
- I'm innocent.
- John, you don't even have a living.
You and me, John, we got nothing.
We don't got love.
We're two thorns in the
underbelly of society, John.
But you know what, don't
worry because today, John,
today we're gonna do society a favor.
- How?
- Trial number five,
John, Russian roulette.
Six chambers, one bullet.
Catch a bullet, you die, you lose.
So, who goes first, you or me?
You're right, I'm the host.
You go first.
(deep dark music)
- Maybe I don't wanna play this game.
- You don't wanna play?
Well, then I'll just give
Dwight and Conrad a call,
they'll come down, we'll
beat the fuck out of you
and torture you a bit.
We'll cut your body up in little pieces,
put you in the dumpster, that be good?
- Let's play.
- Good.
(deep rhythmic music)
(light whining)
(loud click)
I'm surprised you had
the guts, I really am.
- Your turn.
- No problem.
No fucking problem.
Did I ever tell you that I met Jesus?
Not the original, the second coming.
- Didn't know you were a religious man.
- I'm not.
(loud clicking)
I met him in school, I was 12.
Would you listen to my fucking story?
Thank you.
He was very good, he was always good,
the nicest little kid you ever saw.
So, I tried to ignore him
but one day he came up to me,
you know what he said?
- What?
- He said, Vincent, I love you.
Can you believe that?
So, after that it got ugly and
I beat the shit out of him.
- The second coming, huh?
- The second coming.
We beat the shit out of the second coming.
IN fact, we did it every fucking day.
We beat the shit out of him
and he wasn't like you, John,
he didn't scream, and yell,
and moan, and piss, and grunt,
and fight back.
You know what he did?
- What?
- He just looked at the
skies with his hands up,
clothes all torn and blood on his face
and he'd say, "Father, forgive them
"for they know not what they do."
Can you fucking believe that?
I figured the kid was
totally fucked because
we knew what we were doing.
We fucking loved it.
Come on, Johnny.
(light clicking)
That was a good one.
- Your turn, motherfucker.
What became of him?
- What?
- The second coming?
- I don't know, the kid
just fucking disappeared.
He went someplace one summer.
We didn't see him for a long time.
(light clicking)
(man groaning)
(man laughing)
Fuck, this is fucking scary!
Your turn, Johnny.
- We've pulled this trigger four times,
that means there's two
chambers left and one bullet.
- That is correct, sir.
- 50/50 chance, pretty
good odds in some cases.
Maybe I'll just pop
you and take my chances
with Wally and the Beav
when they come running down.
- You could do that.
(man laughing)
But John, look at yourself, look at you!
You got no fucking life.
What's the fucking point?
- I didn't kill her.
- Well, why don't you just prove it.
- How?
- Before you pull that trigger,
you wanna hear the rest of my Jesus story?
- Yeah.
- Okay, well, what happened
is his fucking bitch of
a mother sent him to a hospital.
And you know what, they
found a fucking problem
and they fixed it.
I was shocked as hell
to see the fucking kid
but he was out there, I can still see him
out on the corner of the playground,
I walk over and he's smoking.
And I go, hey, son of
god, what's the deal?
And John, he looks me straight in the eye
and you know what he says?
He says, "Fuck you!"
I'm like, holy shit.
So, you know what I did?
I beat the fucking piss out of him again,
but this time, John,
he was fucking beating
the piss out of me.
The guy had turned into
a fucking wild man.
- So, what happened to the second coming?
- Well John, the second
coming was sacrificed
for the sake of mental health.
He became ruthless,
merciless, mean, and cruel.
He became very successful.
(man laughing)
It's a good fucking story, huh?
I'm done, old buddy.
- You abuse me, torture me, and here I am,
going to put a gun up to my own head.
You know what, Vincent?
I've had enough of your
games and I'm going home.
(man laughing)
- You're going home?
- [John] Yeah, you can kiss your
fucking sorry ass goodbye.
- Well, I'll fucking kiss it goodbye.
You know what, I'll even fucking help you!
Pull the fucking trigger
because you're a fucking wimp!
Come on, John, put me
out of my fucking misery.
Pull it, come on.
Be like me, John!
Come on, do it!
Do it, John!
You can't do it, can you?
You can't fucking do it!
You can't fucking do it!
So, where does that leave us?
Ah, couldn't do it, couldn't do it.
I guess you are a better man than me.
(men grunting)
(intriguing music)
(gun firing)
(soft exciting music)
- [Man] Vince, Vince!
- Hands over the head, fun boy!
Up, now!
Up over the head!
I'm taking this gun.
All right, here's what we're gonna do now.
You see that (mumbles), I
want you to bend down gently.
I want you to bend down
gently, pick it up.
Put your elbows on it.
Good boy.
(soft intense music)
(gun firing)
- Love hurts.
- It probably sounds stupid,
but the only thing I wanted
to do after surviving Vincent
was to find the broad again.
Boy, talk about stupid.
But like I said, fate and
emotions makes fools of all of us.
Now, what I would do after I found her
is altogether another question.
Common sense would suggest that
I get the hell out of there.
But it was up in the
air whether common sense
or passion would prevail.
I've been waiting for you.
I knew you were alive.
- There's two tickets
to Rio in this envelope,
one for you and one for me.
I don't ever wanna be without you again.
- Why did you lie to me?
Was it the money, did you want his money?
- No, no.
I'm sorry I lied to you
but there was no other way.
I knew if you really
loved me, you'd defeat him
and survive, just like me.
We're survivors, we're two of a kind.
We're meant to be together.
What you said about that,
about that missing part,
I know what you mean now.
You're that missing part of me.
No one's ever loved me
the way you love me.
I need you.
Be with me.
(lighthearted soft music)
I love you.
♫ Touch me like you need forgiveness
♫ Touch me like you need to know
♫ Touch me like you know what I am showing
♫ Touch me like you've felt the madness
♫ Of a love you've never known before
♫ Touch me like you know what I am going
♫ It takes more than a kiss
to break this heart of mine
♫ It takes more than a
kiss, so follow through
♫ It takes more than a kiss
to make this all seem right
♫ And that's more than
I'll ever take from you
(slow deep music)
♫ Touch me like you felt desired
♫ Touch me like you've felt the pain
♫ Touch me like you know what I am saying
♫ Touch me like you felt the fire
♫ Touch me like you'll burn again
♫ Touch me like you know the price I paid
♫ It takes more than a kiss
to break this heart of mine
♫ It takes more than a
kiss, so follow through
♫ It takes more than a kiss
to make this all seem right
♫ And that's more than
I'll ever take from you
(MultiCom Jingle)