Indian Summer (1993) - full transcript

What is it, Unca Lou?
What do you see?

Boy, there's nothing
like a good moose.

Nothin' like a good moose.

Yeah.

Unca Lou, were we staring at the moose

or was the moose staring at us?

That's a good question, Matt.
Probably a little bit of both.

- What do you think?
- Yeah, definitely.

- That makes sense.
- A little bit of both.

I don't know how
to say this any slower.

My cousin Matthew is out
of town for the week.



He's not here. I'm here.
You wanna talk, you have to talk to me.

No. He's not here. Look.

Gone, not here, out the whole week. I'm out
of here, too, so you got two seconds.

Wait a second.

You still there? You have something?
You don't. Fine.

Talk to yourself. This is good. Here.

I don't have time for a genius like this.

Bye, sweetie.

- Bye.
- Bye.

All right?

Be good.

Excuse me.

Hey, look over there.

Moose?



Give me some of that!

What a lodge, what a camp
What a place

Tamakwa, Tamakwa
What a wonderful spot

What a lodge, what a camp
What a place

Everybody's happy
You'll never see a frown

Lots ofjoy and happiness
And fun all around

Tamakwa, what a wonderful spot

What a camp, what a lodge
what a place

I got it.

- Yeah, that'll work.
- Great landing.

My lady.

My God, it's so tiny.

It's dinky!

I remember it was so much bigger.
It's nothing!

It does seem small. Why is that?

No, not smaller.
It doesn't seem smaller. It seems tiny.

This is the oldest group of people
I ever saw in my entire life.

Unca Lou!

Having trouble gettin' up the hill?
Want a golf cart?

I invite 30 people from
the golden age of this place.

What do I get? I get you guys.
It's a sad state of affairs.

It's so good to see you.

It's really great to be here.
This is so sweet of you.

Well, I wanted to see some of
the old faces. I'm sure I'll regret it.

Hey, Mr. Big Shot Clothing Designer!

I keep waiting for a cheque in the mail
for some ungodly sum. Do I get one?

No. Remember, everything you learned,
you learned from me.

So you're Stick Coder,
the maintenance man.

Yeah.

- Wylie Coder was your father, huh?
- Yeah.

He never liked me.

- You Brad Berman?
- Yes, I am.

No. No, he didn't.

God, you look great.

Seeing you brings back
so many memories.

I have that effect on people.

- You look great, Kelly.
- Thanks.

Brings back memories for me, too.
Jamie Ross!

Unca Lou, hi.

You have too good a tan.
You're out of work.

I'd like you to meet
my new fiancee, Gwen.

- Gwen, this is Unca Lou.
- Nice to meet you.

I've heard a lot of good stuff about you,
sir, Unca... Sir.

Sir Unca is fine.

Bradley, you dressed for camp.

Still flinching.

Lou, is the camp smaller?
It looks smaller to me.

Yes, it's smaller, Bradley.
We reduced it by half.

We had carpenters come in just for you.

- I get it. I get it.
- Gang!

It's gonna be a golden week, gang!

One for the record books.
Let me give you your cabin assignments.

Boys in Senior Boys Two.
Girls in 49er Three.

What are you talking about? I got to be
with Gwen. Can't we have our own cabins?

You know where they are.
Girls are there. Boys are there.

Why don't you go freshen up,
drop your stuff.

We'll meet back at camp
and have an activities breakdown.

- We're gonna have a Tamakwathon!
- All right!

We are gonna have
a basketball tournament.

Last night at camp we're gonna
have a dance.

I'm gettin' old and sappy, guys, so
take advantage of me while you can.

Unca Lou, that all sounds great,
but can't we have our own cabins, please?

Are you gonna give me trouble?
You were a good camper, Jamie.

I don't want any trouble this week.

- Senior Boys Two. Sounds good to me.
- Yeah, it would.

Come on.
We're back at camp. Play along.

Kelly, we got things to talk about.
We don't need these guys. We never did.

Gwen, we'll show you to girl's camp.

Wait.

A little welcome to Tamakwa gift.

You are so sweet.

- Isn't he so sweet?
- Yeah.

He's the last of the big-time sweeties.

Unca Lou. Unca Lou.

Look at that. Twenty-one years old.

How am I gonna go
six nights without that?

You probably won't, Jamie.

Just try not to kill any
wild animals in the process.

- Let the games begin!
- Jesus, Jamie.

Relax, Matty.
I got lots more where that came from.

I am loaded for bear, babe.
Check it out. This is gonna be a wild week.

Aw, man! It is so good to be back here.

Couldn't have come at a better time.

It couldn't have come at a worse time.

We're busy as hell.
Forty calls this morning alone.

You're not gonna get
any sympathy from this guy.

This man has always been
interested in only one thing.

You should talk.

I saw the way you and Jennifer looked
at each other over at the landing.

Come on. I saw it cross your mind.
You and Jen, old times sakes.

Sneaking out to the island.

Oh, man. Mikey Blyman,
Jamie Ross,

Bob Welsh, Matty Berman, Jack Belston,

Ricky Warden.

Tamakwa super heroes.
Nice Spiderman there, Matt.

You were an artistic little rat.

Jack Belston. Whatever happened to him?

Last I heard,
he was living in California.

I remember that day that Lou
kicked him out of camp.

I still remember that ratty
old jacket he always used to wear.

Jack Belston.

It's been a long time since
I've even heard that name.

This place is a pit.

How did anyone spend eight
weeks in this place, huh?

I don't remember it smelling
this much like urine.

The cabin always smelled like urine.

That's how you found it when you
came up the hill in the dark.

Oh, my God, this is wet.

Everything in here is completely wet.

My stuff's wet, too.

I love this. This is camp.

This is so camp! I love this!

Why was it no matter
how well your mother packed you,

no matter how clean,
neat and dry your clothes left home,

by the time you got to camp,
everything was completely wet?

I remember that.

These are really wet, though.

It's a little too camp for me.

Is Jamie something or what?
What is she, 11?

- Where'd he find this one?
- A ski slope in Aspen.

Oh. Excuse me.

I love this!
I can't believe I'm here!

Bethie.

Hey, Bethie!

Forty-niner Three. Your name's
all over the walls up here!

- Hi, Bethie!
- Isn't this great?

I can't believe I'm here! I love this!
I can't believe it!

Hurry up and get up here
so we can start pickin' on you.

- Wow.
- Wow.

You talked to her recently?

We had her over for dinner a couple times.
I never know what to say.

I can't believe that she'd come up here.
She's so strong.

Oh, wow. Look at this place!

- God, you guys.
- Oh, God, look at you!

- You guys!
- Hi.

- Jennifer! We were in here in '73!
- It's so weird!

- Hi, Bethie.
- Kelly.

- You guys were over in 49er Five.
- Forty-niner Five.

I was in here with Randa Martin.

- Randa Martin! That's so weird!
- Linda Belzer.

- Linda Belzer!
- Jodie Keefer.

- How did you remember that?
- I don't know.

- I'm Gwen, Jamie's fiancee.
- I'm Beth. Nice to meet you.

A little present he gave me. Can't tell
if it's a bathing suit or dental floss.

Whatever it is, it makes me sick
how good you're gonna look in it.

- Shut up. That's sweet.
- Savour that.

Could be the last nice thing
you ever hear her say.

That is just not true.

I am planning on being nothing
but extremely delightful this entire week.

I would appreciate it if you didn't pin
an attitude on me until I deserve it.

Jack?

Jack Belston?

Hiya, Matt!

Hey, buddy!

- How ya doin'?
- I'm doin' all right.

- Look at you, man.
- No one's heard from you in so long.

- Are you still living in L.A.?
- Oh, yeah.

Lou tracked me down through my parents.
Jenny Morton?

Holy cow! Holy cow!

This is too much!

- Jamie Ross!
- Hey!

- Tamakwa super hero!
- '72!

Jack?

Beth! Bethie! Hi!

- Hi.
- Oh, God.

Oh. You look so different.

I didn't expect to see you here.

I should have been at Rick's funeral.

Look, it's no big deal.

- I'm sorry.
- It's great to see you.

Oh, my God. So many memories.

Okay, gang, Wakonda's smiling.
We got great weather...

Hello, Unca Lou.

Jack! Hello.

Go dump your stuff in
the cabin and put on a suit.

We got off to kind of a late start,

so we're gonna begin the day
with activity number three.

Activity number three? Jack just got here.
Can't we hang out for a little bit?

No. Wakonda gives you weather
like this, you gotta jump all over it.

Wakonda.

Wakonda,
the Indian god of weather.

Do you still use him
to get kids to go swimmin'?

Yes, I do. Go get your suit on.

Come on, Lou. You're not actually gonna
make us take a swim test, are you?

You can't use the boats unless you
have a white cap. You know the rules.

First day of camp, you always
have to take a swimming test.

We're adults.
You can't make adults take a swim test.

Let me say right now,
if this is some elaborate "schreck"

where I'm the only one
who dives in, I knew it.

- What's a schreck?
- A schreck is a camp gag, a trick.

- Most of them are pretty stupid.
- I was king of the schrecks.

Yeah. Lou, remember the time we
put the sailboat in your cabin?

Okay. Here we go.

Get on your marks,

get set,

go!

Reverse schreck! Yeah!

Come on. I'm not in the mood
to throw anybody in today.

This is one of those
things you never use in real life.

When in real life do you ever
have to tread water for ten minutes?

- How about never?
- Hey, you guys, look.

I feel like I'm in a scene from
The Deer Hunter. Look up at Stick.

Just squint your eyes a little bit.

- Wow! Cool, man!
- I don't see it.

- Absolutely! Absolutely!
- Totally cool.

- What's this?
- That's the joint.

The jaw. That's the jaw.

Very good. And this?

That's the gaff rig.
It connects the boom to the mast.

Terrific, Kelly! That's great!

Listen, I...

I gotta say I'm really happy
that you guys are back here.

The time that you were here
was the golden age of this place.

Who knows why? But it was the time
where everything came together.

Everything jelled.

And I love that you remember this stuff,
because I don't. Let's go sailing.

I forgot how great
you were at all this stuff.

I was never good at anything at camp.

I always had a good tan, though.
That's important.

The one camp skill that you can use.

You never heard from him again?

Weren't you surprised?

He just called you out of
the blue after all these years?

I was surprised, all right,
but, you know, things come around.

Life is crazy. Go figure.

How about you? You okay? You happy?

I'm happy to be away from my
cousin Brad for a few minutes.

He's done a really great
job with our business.

But the guy can make a tick nervous.

I'm thinking of getting out
of the business altogether.

It's just not my thing.
It's not for me.

- Bradley, want some help?
- Not a problem, Lou. Piece o' cake.

Sailing's like second nature to me.

Boat's just a little smaller
than I remember, that's all.

He'll be in the water on the count of five.
Mark my words.

I can't believe it.

What the hell kind of boats are these?
You can't afford new boats?

Kids could hurt themselves.

Lawsuit on your hands.
You slip...

I'm standing. I'm all right.

You're so good at this. I'm so proud of you.

Kelly Berman: successful wife,
mother of two, homemaker,

and expert sailor.

Is this a golden Tamakwa day, or what?

I've decided I wanna be
just like Kelly when I grow up.

And I wanna be just like Jennifer.

And I wanna have a body like Gwen's.

No shit.

Could you picture Lou having sex?

Give the guy a break, Jennifer.
He's 65 years old.

I don't mean now. I mean ever.

Could you ever picture him doing it?

For me, it's not really something
that ever came up.

I couldn't, ever.

I could never just close my eyes

and picture Lou screwing.

I would try, and I'd just draw blanks.
It's the weirdest thing.

Gotta be honest with you, Jennifer,
and I think I speak for the whole group.

You just crossed that line of
how well we need to know you.

Aren't you guys worrying
about Unca Lou doing a dirty dog?

Lou's not gonna do a dirty dog.

We're too old. Besides,
it's just a kitchen raid.

- What's a "dirty dog"?
- What's a "dirty dog"?

It's annoying, that's what it is.

Late at night, everyone's asleep.

If you were out of your cabin,
somehow, Lou knew.

It was weird.

It was like Kreskin,
Nostradamus and Unca Lou.

He'd be out prowling,
waiting to bust you.

We call it "doing dirty dog. "

Oh, man! I forgot how much fun
a kitchen raid could be.

I forgot why I quit
smoking pot: the munchies.

No shit. The munchies.

I forgot all about the munchies.

Want some more turkey?

- You know what I saw today?
- What?

- The spot where I first kissed a boy.
- Really?

- Adam Randall.
- Adam Randall.

I was 11,
and we made out by the swing set

one night after dinner.

I had a mouthful of braces.

We pulled apart, and his lips
were covered with blood.

My braces had cut him,
and he didn't even know it.

For the rest of the summer I was branded.
No boys would even look at me.

Whatever happened to Adam Randall?

In prison for killing an orthodontist.

I had my first boner here at camp.

Hello.

I was in Ranger Two.
I was 11 years old.

Thing woke me up out of a dead sleep.

Man, I was completely freaked out.

I didn't know what was goin' on.

I thought the thing was
gonna explode or something.

I figured I needed a tetanus shot.

Next morning I woke up,
it was still there.

I knew there was no way
I could go to breakfast

with this big boner stickin' out.

So I did the best thing I could think of.
I taped the sucker to my leg.

Took me about an hour
to get to breakfast that day.

When I finally get there, who do I see?

Ida Heinken.

Let me tell ya,
I used some pretty heavy masking tape.

And lots of it.

But it was no match for Ida Heinken.

Hey, Stick, another bucket
of peanut butter for Kelly.

Short sheet.

Toothpaste! Come on!

How old are you idiots?
What are you guys, 11?

It's not funny! Stop laughing.

God! You guys suck!

Good night, Bradley.

Bell.

Oh, God.

The bell!

Okay, Lou, we got it!

Jesus.

Goddamn camp beds!

- Morning, Bradley.
- Don't talk to me, butt breath.

You jerk-offs pull a schreck like that.

After all, I invented it.

Amateur hour around here,
strictly amateurs.

No toilet paper!
You guys are good!

Now, yeah, this is a brilliant schreck.

You guys working for NASA?

Huh? Is there a blueprint for this plan,
'cause I'd love to see it.

Did you carry the toilet paper
down in shifts?

This isn't a privy.
It's a think tank!

You gotta get up pretty early
to beat the schreck king!

I don't know, Unca Lou.
It was the way you ran the camp.

You were this mystic, this guru.

You were Unca Lou.

Remember how he used to know every
kid's name, even the new kids?

Ever figure that one out?

How'd I do it, Jack?

- You wanna know?
- Yeah.

Observe closely.
Hello there, young Lou Handler!

How are you today?
Nice to have you back with us.

Oh, man. Kid never knew what hit him!

Is that true, Unca Lou?
Is that what you did?

- I did other stuff, too.
- Like what?

I'm not gonna tell ya.
I have trade secrets.

- Who are we gonna tell?
- You don't wanna know.

- Spill it, Lou.
- Okay, all right.

Well, over the years, for example,

once in a while a kid would come up,
and he'd feel left out or lonely.

And he'd need something
to feel a little special.

So I would give him
a super secret Indian name.

- I still remember mine.
- I remember yours.

- You remember mine?
- I do. I remember it.

Come on, Unca Lou.
That was 20 years ago.

- I do!
- There's no way you remember mine!

- I remember it!
- All right, tell me what it was.

Matthew, your super secret
Indian name was Thundering Cloud.

That's right. That's incredible!

- That was 20 years ago!
- What's mine? I forget. What's mine?

Bradley,

your super secret Indian name was...

Yeah?

- Thundering Cloud.
- What?

That's bullshit, Unca Lou!

It sure is.

My whole life I've been living a lie.
It's unbelievable.

Hey, you get crazy.
I think you got a lawsuit here.

You still love it, Lou?
Is it still as much fun as it always was?

It's been 43 wonderful summers.

But this one, I'm sorry to say, was it.

What are you talking about?
You're kidding, right?

No, I'm not. I invited you up
because, as I said earlier,

you were from the golden age
of this place,

and I wanted to share my last week
with you. This is the last week.

Unca Lou, is this about money?

'Cause if it's about money I'm sure
we can help you raise some.

Maybe we could hire someone
to help you run the place.

We could always organise
a committee of the camp alumni.

We could figure something out.

No, it's not about money.
It's about my connection with the kids.

Summer camps shut down
at the rate of about 30 a year.

We've had a very long run,
longer than most of them.

Hey! It's not that big a deal.

You like this place so much because
the rest of your lives are so boring.

Lighten up.
Everything's gonna work out fine.

I'm happy about this.

Holy shit. Jack Belston.
I still can't believe you're here.

I'm here. What's the big deal?

Why's everybody so surprised to see me?

Well, 'cause you got kicked
out of camp. Lou kicked you out.

Brad, that was over 20 years ago.
Would you give the guy a break?

He asked me why I was surprised,
and I told the truth.

Give me a break.

What is it that you do, Jack?

I work in an art gallery
on Sunset Boulevard.

We sell hippie art.

It's really just an excuse
to go to Grateful Dead concerts.

- You rich?
- Not even close.

Too bad. You've gotten kinda sexy.

Jack. Where have you been
all these years?

- How come you never called any of us?
- I didn't have anything to say.

Why'd you come back now?

Lou's call reminded me of something
I needed to take care of,

an amends I had to make.

Plus, you know, I thought it'd be a hoot.

Why walk some place
when you can run?

Gwen and I run three miles every morning
as a warm-up before we work out.

- Right, baby?
- Right!

We really ought to spend
the rest of this week

coming up with an elaborate way
to kill those two.

That's good for me.
I'm gonna go watch some paint dry.

Who wants to play basketball?

Where you goin'?
What's goin' on, guys?

- See you at dinner, Lou.
- Where you goin'?

He'll sit here all day and watch that moose.

Sorry, Lou.
Got a nap in my near future.

"There are strange things
done in the midnight sun

"by the men who moil for gold.

"And the arctic trails hold secret tales

"that would make your blood run cold.

"The Northern Lights
have seen queer sights,

"but the queerest they ever did see

"was the night on the marge
of Lake Labarge

"where I cremated Sam McGee.

"Now, Sam McGee was from Tennessee
where the cotton blooms and blows.

"Why he left his home
in the South to roam the Pole,

"God only knows.

"He was always cold.

"The land of gold seemed
to hold him like a spell.

"Though he'd often say in his homely
way that he'd rather live in hell.

"On a Christmas day we were mushing
our way over the Dawson Trail.

"Talk of York cold
through the parka's fold

it stabbed like a driven nail. "

Get some sleep, huh?

Have you fallen out of love with me?

No. Kelly, what...

Please, don't do this.

We're up here to have fun.
We're here to have a good time and relax.

And we're up here to straighten things out.

Isn't that right? Isn't that what you said?

Yes, but there are thing...

Look, I'm just tired, okay?
It's been a long day.

I don't remember camp being so tiring.

I remember you and Jennifer used to stand
out here saying good night for hours.

Our counsellor used
to make us come out and get her.

I always wanted to be the one
kissing you good night.

Get some sleep, okay?

- Okay.
- Okay.

The water was perfect, nice and hot.

Makes him pee just a little bit more.

Jamie's not stupid.
He gets to go to sleep.

We gotta wait up for your cousin to urinate.
I'm not so sure I like this deal.

Pee.

Oh, God!

Holy shit!

I'll tell you one thing.
We are not nice people.

Not tonight we're not.

Damn it! Lou! I'm on vacation!

God, he was Rick's best friend.

Taught him how to smoke pot.

That's lovely.

I think he's in AA now. I think that's
what that "making amends" thing was.

Yeah, that's what I figured.

I haven't yet.

Haven't what?

Had sex since Rick.

I know you're wondering.
I know how your mind works.

I've...

I come to the brink and then I...
I can't do it.

Yeah, I didn't think so.

But I don't think about it every day.

I try not to think about it.

He's had a hard time.

Rough years. It shows.

God, I'm glad he came back.

Go, baby, yeah!

He's a moron.
No wonder you're attracted to him.

Unca Lou. Stick. Perfect day.

Yeah. Just giving my young
friend here a little pointer.

Looks like he's learning the hard way.

It's the only way to learn, Matthew.
What about you? Want a sparring lesson?

Going sailing, Unca Lou.

Free period, remember?
I always hated boxing.

Everybody's got their own interests.

- That's the beauty of camp.
- Beauty of camp.

I don't see why you
dismiss it so quickly, honey.

I'm not dismissing it quickly.

I like my life. I always have.

I'm not like these other guys,

not into all this Oprah Winfrey,
pop self-reality bullshit.

I like to ski, I like to travel,
I like to make money

and I like you.

Yeah, but, don't you think
that we could run this place?

You and I, we could do it together.

I told those guys I'd play in the twilight
volleyball game. I gotta go.

Finish getting dressed, meet me down
there and we'll have a blast, okay?

- I love you.
- Wait a minute, Jamie.

I wanna talk to you.

What do you want?
What do you want? What do you want?

You don't plan on us having kids, do you?

The thought of me getting pregnant
scares you, doesn't it?

Baby, you're 21 years old.

What are you worried
about having kids for?

You got 15 years before
that biological clock goes off.

- It's already going off.
- Really?

Well, roll over and see if there's
a snooze button 'cause I like my life.

Got it? Good.

Finish getting dressed, meet me
down there and we'll have a good time.

Later we'll come back here and
do that again, 'cause it was good.

I wanna be a kid again.

I was good at being a kid, wasn't I?

You think it's gonna matter, Jen?

About the camp. I mean...

In five years, do you think
it'll matter if it's gone?

I don't know.

I mean, I really don't.

You're still really beautiful, Jennifer.

Still got those beautiful eyes.

Whatever happened to that weird
painting that you did of my eyes?

Remember that?

Yeah, my mother...

keeps all your clippings
from the business section.

Still refers to you as
"the one that got away. "

I like that. It makes me sound
like a mackerel or something.

Good night, Matthew.

I'd better go back to my cabin.

Wouldn't want you to get into trouble
with your counsellor or anything.

Wait. Wait, you guys.
We should go back. My cousin...

- He'll be so annoyed.
- I just wanna see his face.

- Hey.
- What?

- It's a raid.
- Kelly? Wanna go somewhere?

Now? Yeah, all right.

Kelly, wake up.

She's out cold.

Why don't you try waving
some peanut butter in her face?

Why don't you come out with us?

We're gonna take a walk,
get some beer and talk.

Come on.

All right.

What do you say we take
the Pointer out for a late-night spin?

- Let's take Lou's boat.
- Nah, the Pointer.

When I was a kid, all I ever wanted
to do was drive this thing.

Hey, Jack.
How come you got kicked out of camp?

Did you ever hear the Sam Grover story?

No. What's a Sam Grover story?

Well, we were campers,
so it was basically kept from us.

But I hung out with a lot of junior
counsellors in my last year, so I knew.

Sam Grover was a counsellor from
Buffalo that Lou hired over the phone.

When he got off the bus in Toronto,
Lou realised his mistake.

You see, Sam Grover was black

and wouldn't, according to Lou,
fit in up at camp.

So Lou paid for his bus fare
and first week's salary,

apologised and put him
on the next bus back to Buffalo.

What did he say?
What was his reason?

Never gave one.

Never spoke about it.

What does that have to do
with you getting kicked out?

I forced him to do that.

I took something from him,

something I thought would
knock him off his high horse,

make him realise that he couldn't
pump us full of that

"all men are equal" crap
and treat somebody like that.

The old "let's take Jennifer
to the trip cabin" trick.

Wow.

Look at this place.

Matthew, pretty dangerous
territory in here, huh?

Maybe it wasn't such a good idea
for you to bring me in here.

Yeah.

A lot of good memories
in here, Matthew, huh?

Yeah.

Why are we doing this?

What are we doing?

We should go.

Yeah.

Let's go.

Unca Lou!

Isn't this a wonderful old cabin?

Wylie Coder and I put it up
in the spring of 1953.

All I think about when I'm
in this place is fish guts.

Fish guts?

This was the fishing cabin
until the early sixties.

A couple of years before your time.

Am I interrupting something?

No! What are you doing up?

You know, dirty dog.
Kind of a hard habit to break.

Yeah, we used to clean
the dead fish in here.

This place used to be
wall-to-wall fish guts.

Fish guts and fish
heads and blood.

We hosed it down, but you're talking
about a hell of a smell.

There's something about dead fish,
you know what I mean?

- Makes you wanna puke your guts out.
- Yeah.

- Makes you just wanna gag, doesn't it?
- Yeah.

- You can still kinda smell it, can't ya?
- Okay.

- All those fish heads, all that blood.
- Yeah.

You sure I'm not interrupting something?

Matthew and I were just
getting out of here, weren't we?

Yep. Good night, Unca Lou.

I'll walk you up the hill.
You got a big day tomorrow.

Yes, fish guts.

Big black bugs.
Makes you wanna just puke your guts out.

There's a song we used to sing about it.

Big black bugs, big black bugs

Make you wanna puke your guts out

- What did she say?
- She says she wants you to treat her right.

- What, as a friend?
- I think you should take her to the island.

At Camp Tamakwa,
in Ontario's Algonquin Provincial Park...

Barry Dockin.

Whatever happened to Barry Dockin?

Lives in New York.
He's got three kids.

- Who's that?
- Gil Adams.

He sells stocks, lives in Rochester.

- Ida Heinken!
- Ida! Ida!

Jack, you better get
the masking tape out, huh?

Am I the only person in the room
who didn't sleep with Ida Heinken?

Pretty much.

...a former semi-professional
boxing champion.

Rick! God.

He's so skinny.

I hated boxing.
God, did I hate boxing.

Nice fall, Matt.

At Tamakwa,
a child learns to respect his environment.

Respect for the land teaches
respect for your fellow man,

a sense of belonging
and, more importantly, respect for oneself.

For this is truly what the child
learns at Tamakwa.

They make many friends,
learn many skills.

But upon departure, they invariably
leave a fuller man or woman,

a better friend and a kinder soul.

I'm sorry.

I know. I know.

Why'd you come up?

'Cause I wanted to be sad.

Now I'm sad.

He was doing his residency at
Saint Julian's in the emergency room,

upset 'cause he was gonna be a few
minutes late for his 9 a.m. shift.

Some stupid high school kid...

tries to pass a bus.

Forced him off the road.

Good old Rick, man,

9:00 a.m. sharp, gets wheeled
into the emergency room

just in time for his shift.

Are you worried about me?

Everybody's worried about me.

God, I'm so sick of everybody
worrying about me.

God. It's been over a year.

Hey.

Why'd you do that?

- Why did you do that?
- I thought you wanted me to.

- Why would you think that?
- I don't know. I just thought...

You and Jennifer said all this stuff,
and I just thought...

- I didn't say I wanted to marry you.
- I understand.

- I don't wanna be kissed, all right?
- Fine. Maybe I'll...

- I'll just sit here, okay?
- Good.

Just right here, all right?

Look. I'm not attracted to you, all right?

- Fine.
- Sorry.

I find you very unappealing.

It's cool.

It's a Kotex, Lou.
It's taped to the clanger.

This is smaller.
This channel was always bigger than this.

Maybe we're going the wrong way.

I'm telling you, it's up this way.

I've been single a long time.
You develop a sense of direction.

You like being single?

Like the freedom.

You know who I feel sorry for?

All those guys who had
vasectomies in the '70's.

Remember them?

Now, with safe sex,
they still gotta wear condoms.

Never thought of it that way.

Yeah, well, these are
the things I think about.

There's germs out there
the size of sea lions.

My God, it's so tiny!

Remember we used to come here
for cookouts?

Yeah, sure. But it was bigger then.
It was much bigger.

Look how tiny this is.
I don't remember it being this small.

I remember it being huge.

Brad, do you think
Matt and Kelly are happy?

Yeah. Yeah. They're happy. They're fine.

I just...
This was always like a mountain to me.

Like a big dam.
Like the one in Vegas. Huge!

Yeah, but do you think he still loves her?

You don't still have a
thing for him, do you?

- For Matt?
- Yeah.

What, like, 20 years later?
What'd you do, get bit by something?

Well, good, 'cause he's definitely married.

Happy, I don't know,
but he is good and married, Jennifer.

I just can't get over how small this is.

It is completely tiny. Tiny, tiny, tiny.

All right.
Enough already with the tiny talk, Brad.

The dam did not get smaller. It did not.

I'm just saying, to me,
it definitely got smaller.

It's the same size it always was, okay?

Nothing has gotten smaller.

The dam, the camp, the lake,
they have not shrunk.

We have gotten bigger.
Everything else has stayed the same size.

You have grown. Deal with it. Geez!

Hey.

Hey.

- You okay?
- Yeah.

I'm sorry.

I don't even know what that was about.

Just really edgy lately, you know?

In New York, I'm always moving so fast.

Being up here at this pace...

- Is it Matt?
- No.

I love Matt.

I love Kelly.

Being around them is tough, you know?
I feel like a loser. You know how it is.

- I didn't mean it like that.
- I know you didn't.

Let me rehash this in case anybody forgot.

No one's forgotten.

Can we just do this so I can
lose and go take a nap?

Jack! Let's go! Tamakwathon.

No. Thanks, but no thanks.
I got a date with Spiderman.

Come on, Jack.

No, you go have fun.
This doesn't interest me.

Remember now, be good sports,
or there's no point in winning.

One last thing. If Bethie wins,

her prize is she gets to dance
with me on closing night at camp.

Okay, let's go.
Get on your marks,

get set...

You broke my eardrum!

Go, Bethie. Yeah!

Good job, Bethie. Sorry I gotta pass.

I wanna win this one.

Yes! Yes!

Don't you remember?
On rainy days we had "Z" machine.

Remember? Everyone went back to
the cabin and went back to bed.

Sun will be out this afternoon, guys.

- Wakonda's gonna smile yet.
- A man's gotta have a dream, Lou.

- Another golden Tamakwa day.
- It never rains at Tamakwa. Never.

Unca Lou, what...

What are the realities if
someone wanted to take over the camp?

Kelly, what's he talking about?

I have no idea.

It depends on the person.
You sayin' you wanna take over Tamakwa?

Well, I'm not sure I mean myself.

But I think someone should.
Maybe a couple of us.

Matthew, don't you think we
should discuss this privately?

Matt, if you're thinking about me, that
was Gwen talking. No offence, Unca Lou.

I hope you're not thinking about me, Matt.

I mean, picture me on the brochure.

How many parents are gonna want to send
their kids into the woods that summer?

He's not talking about anyone. He's just
babbling. You're just babbling, right?

He's not babbling. He's serious.

He's saying that someone should.
One of us should.

Maybe a couple of us.
Maybe we could be partners.

You're not talking about you and Matthew.

You're not suggesting that, are you?

I was... I don't know, Kelly.
I was just discussing it.

I think that Matt is right.
I think somebody should do something.

It's been 43 years.
A lot of kids started out their lives here.

I just think that it would be a shame
to let it die. That's all.

Well, I think it should be
Jamie and Matthew.

You guys would be so great,
and the kids would love you.

Haven't we already talked about this?

Babe, you don't know anything about this
camp. You've been here for four days.

So just sit there and look pretty, okay?

Excuse me, Lou.

Fuck you, Jamie.

Oh, God. Here we go.

Boy, dropping like flies.

You got any other topics of conversation
you wanna clear the room with?

I don't see what's so funny.

You wanna run a summer camp, huh?
What about your commitment to me?

Six months after you leave,
the business folds, and you know it.

- That is not true, Brad.
- Fine. Run a camp.

Uncle Melvin was right.
I should have never trusted you.

Unca Lou, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry I brought it up. I didn't
want to make such a big scene about it.

No big deal. It's just
a bunch of old cabins.

Just old cabins.

How much time do you have to put
into running a camp during the winter?

When you're in Detroit,
how much time a week do you put in?

It isn't about hours, Matthew.

It's a way of life,
running a summer camp.

Can't do it by the clock.

- It's not that difficult of a move, Stick.
- Stick! Stick!

Gwen. Gwen! What are you doing?

I wanted to give you your present back.

I don't like it. I don't think
it shows your friends here enough.

What do you think, gang?
Doesn't Jamie have a nice life?

Look, Gwen, you're pissing me off.

I'm just trying to look
pretty for you, honey.

Get that canoe back to the canoe dock
and go get dressed now! I mean it!

Do you own this camp?

- Lou, do I have to leave right now?
- No. Who said that?

Hey! Lou.

Hey, come on, Jamie.
She's not bothering anyone.

If I have to dive in this water and swim
to you, you're gonna be a sorry little girl.

I'm already sorry.

I hope I didn't offend any of you.

Jamie needs to learn that he
shouldn't overwind his toys.

I gotta tell you, I like her.

I like her a lot.

I'm not trying to steal
Matt from you, Kelly.

Honest.

I'm just lonely.

I'm lonely, and...

I think I'm starting to get
a little desperate.

I feel like I could lose him.

I never felt that way before,
but I do lately.

He's lucky to have you.

That's the truth, Kel.

Would you really want
to take over the camp?

No.

It's just a fantasy.

You would've won.

You would've bested Jamie
by almost five seconds.

You were always fast, Jack.

I shouldn't have thrown you out of camp.

I don't know what I should have done,
but I shouldn't have thrown you out.

Listen.

What I did with Sam Grover was wrong.
I was playing God.

I should've let him come up here
and figure his own way out.

They were different times,
and I was a different person.

I saw him as coloured.
Not good, not bad, just coloured.

I thought I should spare
everyone the tension.

I thought I could save him the alienation

I was sure he would find at a camp
filled with all white people.

If I could pick one day in my life to do
different, that would be the day I'd pick.

That day would be the day I'd do different.

You're kinda young to retire.
Aren't you gonna miss all this?

No. I don't get the kids today.
I don't get them. They don't get me.

Hey, it's a different era, a different time.

I try to teach them how
to light a one-match fire,

they look at me like
I'm from another planet.

With the boom boxes and the headphones.

A kid who's got to wear those stupid
headsets in the North Woods

is a kid I...
I just don't understand.

It was bigger than your cabin.
I'm not kidding. It was snapping.

- How big was it?
- It was like Kentucky.

- It was this big.
- Turtle's been around forever.

It doesn't bite, Brad.

Take it and shut up!
I don't want your ring any more.

Calm down. You're acting
like a four-year-old.

You calm down,
and find another new fiancee. No!

- Jamie, come on. Relax!
- Mind your own business.

- Leave me alone!
- Jamie, relax!

- You better relax!
- Jamie, come on!

- Let's go, Gwen.
- No!

- Back off!
- Leave her alone!

- What's all this, now?
- Jamie.

It's nothing, Lou. Just a little scuffle.

Stick, go get the gloves.
We'll take it into the ring.

The ring? Unca Lou,
it's nothing. It's fine.

- No, we'll take it into the ring.
- The ring?

Unca Lou, you know I hate boxing.

All right, Matt, come on!
There's a shot.

It's very good, Matthew.
It's very, very good. Get up.

- Come on, Matthew!
- Get up.

- Get up, man. Come on.
- You're doing really good. Really good!

That's it. Mix it up. Keep your hands up.

Okay, you should feel
very good about yourself.

- Terrific. Get back in there. Up we go.
- Come on, Matt. You can do it!

Come on. You can beat him.
Come on, honey.

Don't make me do this.
Four, five, six.

Seven. Up we go! Good boy.
Get in there.

Kick his ass, Matt!

That's great, Gwen.

- Yes!
- All right!

Yes!

That's it. There you go!

Yes! Get him, Matt!

Go! That's it!

Yes, get him! You got it!

Yeah! Yeah! Oh, yeah!

Two, three, four, five, seven, nine...
We got a winner.

Okay, give me the gloves. I'm next.

- What are you doing, Kelly?
- I'm next. I want a shot at the champ here.

We never had co-ed boxing
here before, did we?

Nope.

- We do now.
- Kelly, what are you doing?

Stick, when you're ready
just give me a bell and let's go.

Come on, Stick. Let's go!
Put 'em up, Matt.

Kelly, come on.

Come on. You're gonna deal with me
right now. There's no getting out of this.

Come on. Wanna hit me? Hit me.
Come on. Yell at me!

Kick me. I don't care!

You can't ignore me anymore.
Do you understand me?

I am in this ring with you,
and I am not going anywhere.

Come on. Okay, okay, okay.
I give up. I give up.

I give up.

I love you, Matthew.

We just really need to start
communicating with each other.

Up ahead over here is the Everett cabin.
Oscar and Clara Everett.

Old couple who lived up here
in the park since the '20s.

Oscar died in the late '60s,

and his widow talked the ranger
into carrying out his last wishes.

He wanted to get the "deep six"
in the lake outside the cabin,

and he asked for me to say
some nice things about him.

Poor woman.

She spent the last 15 years of her life
all alone up here, just waiting to die,

so she could be dropped in
the lake with her husband.

Thaddeus and I
spent half the morning

fighting about where we'd dropped
Oscar's body 15 years before.

Fifteen years of her life she wasted.

We might as well have thrown her in
the lake when we dumped her husband.

You made that story up, didn't you?

Why would I
make up a story like that?

Because you're you.

You're Unca Lou! I mean...

Either way, I got the point.

Jesus! You make it sound
like I'm pathological or something.

Just called the boys.

- How are they?
- They're fine.

I told them that Mommy beat
the shit out of me today.

- Do you still hate me?
- I don't hate you.

Wouldn't blame you if you did.

It's beautiful.

You're beautiful, Kelly.

Hey.

Where's Gwen?

She's down at the fire.

- She's leaving me.
- What are you gonna do about it?

I don't know. No one's ever left me before.

Do you wanna dance?

I shouldn't. I shouldn't, Jamie. I mean it.

You're scum.

I'm not sure. Is that a "yes"?

Yeah, it's a "yes. "

That's what you're saying,
but that's not what I'm hearing.

What I'm hearing is that
you wanna walk away, desert me.

Don't look at it that way.

How am I supposed to look at it?

Look at it from the beginning.

You did it all. I was just some college kid
who made goofy hats for beer money.

It doesn't work for me anymore.
All I feel like is some businessman.

You hear the way he says that?
Like a serial killer.

I don't wanna be a businessman.
I never wanted to be a businessman.

It makes me feel old.

But you're okay with
the serial killer analogy?

Brad, look. You like this stuff.

It's in your blood,
and you're great at it.

No one does what you do like you do.
You're incredible.

This is bullshit. You're saying this
to make blowing me off easier.

- No, I'm not.
- No, he's not.

Brad, you are incredible.
He says it all the time.

- You say it all the time, that
I'm incredible? - All the time.

- To people, I mean, groups of people?
- All the time.

You want out, you're out.

Thanks.

Where are you taking me?

- Just come.
- Where are you taking me?

- Stand there.
- Stand here?

Look up.

You know what they say it means
when there's this many stars out?

What?

It means something really
terrible is gonna happen.

It means I'm... I'm gonna kiss you.

Wow! That was good.

I thought you were gonna knee me
in the nuts or something.

- Hi.
- Hi.

Do you wanna dance?

Sure.

Even if it might piss off
shithead over there?

- I don't mind.
- Okay.

Okay. Yeah.

One hand on you.

Good.

You guys! You gotta see this.

- You're gonna thank me.
- I'm cold, and I'm really not into this.

Why are we running?

You're gonna love it.

Hey, all right!

Jack and Beth. That's so great!

I'm not even this happy
when I'm about to have sex.

Really?

Hey! Are we moving?

Nice night, huh? Have a nice swim.

- You suck!
- Oh, no way!

Enjoy your swim!

The schreck king prevails!

Yes!

Good one! Okay?

Hey, Brad, this is my brother's suit.
I can't get it wet.

I'm the king! I'm the king!

I'm the king!

Okay, Jennifer.
You be a good girl now.

Lou.

Bradley, you try and enjoy
your life now, you hear me?

I hear you.

- Very good. Very good.
- Never flinches.

Hey, you!

If you're gonna keep this guy on the ropes,
you gotta work on your left hook.

I will.

Thanks, Lou.

- Bye.
- Unca Lou, can I talk to you for a second?

Yeah. Everything okay?

About what we talked about.

The possibility of me
taking over the camp?

Yeah.

- I'm sorry, but I just can't do it
- Forget about it.

- I feel like I've let you down.
- Matthew, please.

- You were probably hoping...
- Don't worry about it.

Everything will work out fine.

- I got a lot of things to work out.
- Sure. Matthew!

- Kelly and I...
- Hey, hey! You worry too much.

It was good to see you again, Unca Lou.
Take care, huh?

Come on.

Bye, Unca Lou.

Jack and Beth.
Where are Jack and Beth?

She came down a couple of hours ago,
I think.

So did he.

You're gonna miss the boat.

We wanna run the camp, Lou,
the two of us.

I'm not sure where we're gonna get
the money, but we have a plan.

You don't need any money.
If you want it, the camp is yours.

- Just like that, you'll give us the camp?
- Yeah.

It's not worth anything. On paper it's
nothing but a bunch of old cabins.

But I'll tell you one thing.

If you hit it right,
it's one hell of a life.

I knew things were gonna work out.
They usually do.

The trophy looks as good as new, Jack.
You took good care of it.

Yeah, well,
I had it in a safe place.

Land sports, water activity

and, more importantly, social interaction

under the guidance of
Tamakwa's trained staff.

At Tamakwa, a child learns
to respect his environment.

Lectures on park life and tours
of the area are taken regularly.

Respect for the land teaches
respect for your fellow man,

a sense of belonging and, more
importantly, respect for oneself.

For this is truly what
the child learns at Tamakwa.

They make many friends,
learn many skills, and upon departure,

they invariably leave a fuller man or
woman, a better friend and a kinder soul.

This is life at
Canada's Camp Tamakwa

in Ontario's Algonquin Provincial Park.

Long live Camp Tamakwa,
a camping tradition since 1937.

Hello, "Muddah"

Hello, "Faddah"

Here I am at

Camp Granada

Camp is very

Entertaining

And they say we'll have
some fun if it stops raining

I went hiking

With Joe Spivy

He developed

Poison ivy

You remember

Leonard Skinner

He got ptomaine poisoning
last night after dinner

All the counsellors

Hate the waiters

And the lake has

Alligators

And the head coach

Wants no sissies

So he reads to us from
something called "Ulysses"

Now, I don't want

This should scare ya

But my bunk mate

Has malaria

You remember

Jeffrey Hardy

They're about to organise
a searching party

Take me home
Oh, Muddah, Faddah

Take me home
I hate Granada

Don't leave me out in the forest

Where I might get eaten by a bear

Take me home

I promise I will not make noise

Or mess the house with other boys

Oh, please don't make me stay

I've been here one whole day

Dearest Faddah

Darling Muddah

How's my precious

little bruddah

Let me come home

If you miss me

I would even let Aunt Bertha
hug and kiss me

Wait a minute

It stopped hailing

Guys are swimming

Guys are sailing

Playing baseball

Gee, that's beddah

Muddah, Faddah
kindly disregard this leddah