India Sweets and Spices (2021) - full transcript

Hey, everyone.

I just want to make a quick

toast

to thank you guys for coming

to our final Social Justice

social.

I mean, you came to every car

wash,

every canned food drive, bake

sale,

- that Greenpeace kegger, what?

- That was awesome!

And I've had a blast this year

raising our glasses and our

consciousnesses together.

So, cheers!

They don't even care

if I get straight A's.

They just care that I look good.

I mean, they're Texas ladies.

They've got the big nails,

and the big boobs, and the big hair.

And when I go home,

I've got to become one with them,

because the humidity.

No, listen.

Ruby Hill is where brain cells

go to die.

Aunties, all they do

is sit around and gossip

about who's getting married,

who's getting fat,

who's flunkin' out of med

school.

Alia, you don't understand

how big my hair gets in Texas.

Like...

I think I need bigger scissors.

Can somebody get me some bigger

scissors?

Wow!

You are so talented.

You should give everybody

haircuts.

Yes! Haircuts all around!

Yo.

Why aren't you answering my

texts?

Uh, what time is it?

Dude, are you still in bed?

Shit! Shit, shit, shit.

Shit, shit, shit.

You better not miss your flight.

I need you here, like, yesterday.

Oh, my God! You cut your hair.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God, I cut my hair.

It looks a little lopsided.

I think I did it myself.

Oh! Your mom is gonna love that.

She's already texted me,

like, a thousand times.

Can I please just enjoy

one last minute of freedom?

No, beta. It's time to get your ass home.

Fly safe. Eat something.

Bring compression socks for the

plane.

And, you know,

Rahul's back in town.

Wear something pretty tonight,

na?

Okay, Aunty. Why don't you tell

him to wear something pretty, hmm?

Bye!

Hey, Alia. Welcome home.

- You look good.

- Thanks, Dad.

So, I could still use

some help at the clinic.

Dad, stop.

I took o-chem. I got straight

A's.

I made the dean's list.

I just want to relax.

Doesn't anyone relax

over the summer anymore?

Okay, baba.

Glad you're home.

Saahil! Jiya! I'm home.

Woo-hoo.

You're back!

Are you posing?

Ah!

- Hmm!

- Oh! Mom, bangles.

- Did you cut your hair?

- Yes.

Well, it'll grow back.

I'm so happy you're home, Alia!

Everyone's so excited to see

you tonight!

What? Everyone? What's

happening tonight?

There's a party

at Neerja Aunty's home tonight.

Didn't Neha tell you?

I don't have to go to that, do

I?

Honey, everyone's been asking

to see you.

It'll be very rude not to go.

I'm taking you to the

salon.

Those are veg only, na?

I missed you.

Oh, I missed you, too.

This is gorge, by the way!

Thanks! It's my mom.

She bought herself a new sari

for tonight, too.

My mom bought herself

a new sari for tonight.

Ugh. It's just such a waste.

Especially when there are so

many ways to upcycle fabric.

Wow. You really went full

Berkeley on me.

Peace and love, baby.

- You hiding out in here?

- I wish.

Better get back in there

before she freaks.

- Solidarity.

- Solidarity.

- You ready?

- Ready.

Ugh, wow. Someone drowned

in Drakkar Noir tonight.

Tonight and every night.

Oh, goody. Reema and Roma

are here.

- Hi!

- Hey, girl!

So good to see you!

- How's school?

- School is amazing.

Loving it!

So I put a stent in there,

it took less than an hour,

and he was back to running

marathons, you know?

Business as usual.

There she is. The Queen of Ruby

Hill.

Ew, look at my idiot

little brother.

Jerkoff. Why doesn't he get

stuck serving everyone samosas?

Hey, you. You do this.

Samosas?

Terrible score on his MCAT.

Stealing money outright.

That is how he bought his yacht!

- Hmm.

- Samosa? Hi.

That's what I heard.

The way he's holding his drink.

Ah!

Rahul, you're here!

Why are we here?

Ease your pain.

Man!

Ah!

You know, at least our

generation

allows men and women

to get equally shit-faced.

That's progress.

Ugh. It took my mom

an hour and a half to get ready.

Well, she looks hot as

shit.

Gross.

New sari. Again.

Quick, here they come.

So, you two!

When should we start

our wedding shopping, eh?

Only teasing!

That's so annoying.

What do they get

out of all this gossip, anyway?

Power. Words are powerful.

Also, they're assholes.

They're not wrong, though.

I know you didn't find

even one guy at UCLA

who's as good as me.

No. No, I found, like, 20.

Twenty! Did you even have time

to study?

Eh, in between.

How's Jessica?

Wait, no. Um, what was her name?

What was the last girl's name again?

Meghan. We only hung out a few

times.

That was enough, let me tell

you.

Duke girls are weird.

Good to be home.

Okay, I'm off to the driving

range.

Ranjit, we're out of biscuits

again.

I asked you to bring more

last weekend, didn't I?

Do you want us to get

embarrassed like the Bhatias,

running out of them in front of

everyone?

Oh, bab So some people

didn't have biscuits. Who cares?

Indians eat way too much sugar

as it is.

That's not the point, Ranjit.

Just get them for the party, na?

Okay, I'll pick some up,

and then all our troubles

will be over. No?

Hey, Alia, your mom needs you

to go to the Indian store

to buy some biscuits for the

party.

What? Why can't you go?

I'm golfing, see?

I'm relaxing, see?

Cannonball!

Whoa.

- Shit.

- Excuse me?

Hello, there.

Can we help you find something?

I'm looking for some biscuits...

for my mom.

Mom, uh, where are the biscuits?

You're restocking them, Varun.

Right.

Um...

Yeah. Here you go.

Thanks.

So, do you work here? Often?

Yeah. I'm just helping my

parents out until school starts.

Where do you go to school?

I was at East River Community College.

But I'm transferring to UCLA for fall.

No way!

That's crazy. I go to UCLA.

No way! What's your major?

Oh, bio. Typical, you know.

What about you? Doctor, lawyer,

engineer?

No, actually,

I'm thinking history or poli sci.

I like current events and past events.

I like reading a lot.

But I... I do other stuff, too.

Like, I go to the gym.

Yeah. Uh, it's good to have

hobbies.

All set.

So, are you guys the new owners?

What happened to the Guptas?

The Guptas, they retired back

to India.

We owned a store in East River as

well, but we like this area better.

Yeah, Ruby Hill's pretty nice.

Oh, we're actually just over

the hill in Miller Park.

Oh.

My, this is a lot of biscuits.

Yeah, we're throwing this

dinner thing next Saturday,

and we just simply

can't run out of biscuits.

My mom would be mortified.

Oh, I see.

You guys should come!

You're new in town. You can

meet everyone,

have a few drinks,

see where the night takes you.

What?

I'm Alia, by the way.

I'm Kamlesh.

This is Bhairavi, Varun, and Puja.

Nice to meet you all.

All right, so I will write down

our phone number and our address.

You know what, I'm just gonna

put my cell phone number, too,

just in case.

Hope to see you next Saturday.

And feel free to call me

whenever.

Anytime.

- Uh, very nice of you, beta.

- Are you sure your parents won't mind?

No, not at all.

You invited who?

Uh...

Are you crazy?

Who said you could invite them?

Itne saare biscuits?

How will it look if a local shopkeeper

shows up for our dinner party?

I haven't even met these people

yet!

And leave that aside,

did you ever see the Guptas

in our party ever?

Of course not!

What will people say?

How could you do this, Alia?

I don't know. They're new in

town, they don't know anyone.

I thought it would be nice.

So now we are running

a charity service, huh?

Sure. Aunties without Borders.

Seems that you've

become very smart in college,

Alia.

Maybe next year, you can do a course

called "Your Mother Deserves Respect"!

Do you know if they grade

on a curve in that class?

Because I hear the professor is

a real...

Okay. It's time for our run, Alia.

Come, let's go.

Can you stop picking

fights with your mom, baba?

You know how serious

she is about all this.

You didn't think about how she would

react when you invited the shopkeepers?

No, I was not thinking

about her when I invited him.

Them.

Anyways, couldn't these parties

use a little excitement?

Some fresh meat for the aunties

to devour.

You have to ask yourself

if the excitement is worth it.

Your mom is clearly not happy.

- Yeah, I got that.

- Yeah, I get it, too,

Miss Liberal Progressive Green

Party!

You're trying to make a point

to your backward old parents,

and that's what this

inviting people is all about.

Isn't it? So, who's next?

Our dry cleaner or gardener?

I mean, I'd rather talk to

Miguel than Swati Aunty!

Miguel's got jokes!

Here, Aunty. Eat, eat.

You're looking too thin these

days.

Excuse me.

You guys came!

Your house is beautiful.

You look so beautiful as well.

Thanks.

Oh, no, keep your shoes on,

please.

Come. Jiya, this is Puja.

Why don't you take Puja

downstairs to play with you guys?

We don't play.

Dad! Dad.

- Hey, Alia.

- Hi.

Uh, this is Kamlesh Uncle,

and Bhairavi Aunty, and Varun.

They took over the

Indian store from the Guptas.

Oh.

- Yeah. Yeah.

- Right.

- Yeah. Hi.

- Hello.

Welcome.

Um, come on, Aunty. Let's go

find my mom.

Oh, there she is. Mom.

This is Bhairavi Aunty, and Varun.

This is my mom, Sheila.

Sheila?

Arey!

Oh, my God!

Is this really you?

I can't believe it.

Is this where you've been all this time?

Uh, pardon me?

Sheila, it's me, Bhairavi.

Bhairavi Saxena,

Miranda House, Delhi University.

Everyone called me Bhairu?

You called me Bhairu.

You guys went to college

together?

Of course.

Um, certainly... Um...

We were classmates.

My apologies, Bhairavi.

It's just been such a long time

since college, hai na?

And, uh, how things

have changed since then.

Indeed. Things have certainly

changed.

Well, do make yourself feel comfortable,

and help yourself to the snacks and all.

And if you'll just excuse me,

I'll go check on dinner. Okay?

Two minutes. Excuse me.

- Well, that was weird, right?

- Yeah.

What are the chances?

Your mom didn't seem

too thrilled to see my mom.

Yeah. I'm sorry. My mom's kind

of a snob.

I swear, if you're not wearing

designer, she basically can't see you.

- Hey.

- Hey.

Rahul, meet Varun.

Oh. Hey, man.

- Hey.

- You look familiar.

Were you state lacrosse

a couple years ago?

No. Uh, maybe you've seen me

at the Indian store?

I work there with my parents.

Oh, right. Are you guys

catering tonight or something?

Nope. Alia invited us.

Oh!

Cool.

Cool.

Smile!

This is some party.

Yeah, same shit, different

Aunty.

They all take turns hosting

every weekend

so they can show off their

new chandelier or whatever.

It's insane.

Maybe you guys can host the

next one.

Yeah. Maybe we'll have a party

at my pool.

I'll have my butler inflate it.

I'd come to a party at your

place.

Well, I'll put you

on the guest list, then.

So, Kamlesh,

you've taken over the grocery.

- You're a businessman?

- Yes, also an engineer.

Oh, really? Which firm are you

with?

Well, I'm a water maintenance

supervisor with the city.

Oh...

Yeah, she said

something about college.

I didn't...

So, you say you knew Sheila?

Yes.

You must have some good stories

about her from your college days?

Anything juicy?

Yes.

- Nitin. It's about that time.

- I'll go.

Watch this.

The drunkles can't resist.

Wake up! Mom wants you!

Get out of here, shitface!

Ow! My arm! Mom!

Alia! Breakfast!

Come down now!

Alia, did you hear me?

Saahil, can you just stop

chewing so loudly?

I am not chewing so loudly.

You're...

Close your mouth when you

eat, too.

- Jiya, eat something.

- All of this food is so high-carb.

- Have this.

- No.

With avocado.

It's very good for your body.

Ew, gross, Dad.

- Good morning.

- No way.

Wah, wah, wah. So gross.

Alia, what are you

doing?

Come sit down at the table

like a normal person, beta.

Come on.

I'm sure Bina is on the phone right

now talking about the shopkeepers.

Oh, it was an overall success,

na?

No major drama.

Everybody behaved themselves.

So what's the problem?

- Alia! What are you doing?

- Is something wrong, beta?

No. Nothing.

I've got to go.

What? Go where?

I'm meeting Neha.

Now? No. This is family time.

Neha can wait.

Come have breakfast. Come on.

I can't. I've got to get out of

here.

- Alia!

- You're still in your pajamas!

It's just so...

gross.

How could he do this to us?

Maybe it was just a mistake.

Maybe he just drank too much scotch,

and got caught up

in the party vibe or something.

Do I tell my mom?

What if she finds out,

and they have to get a divorce,

and my dad is forced to live

in some sad apartment,

and Saahil and Jiya have to

come visit him

a couple times a week and eat

SpaghettiOs?

And my mom is so humiliated that

she doesn't even leave the house,

she becomes addicted to online

gambling, and has to go to rehab?

Well, rehab's not all bad.

It's like a spa you can cry at.

Here, have some jerky.

What the hell is this?

I asked if you had weed.

Well, I didn't, so eat up.

Nourish yourself. It's vegan.

It tastes vegan.

What's Rahul say?

If Rahul would ever get back to

me, then I'd ask him.

Listen, don't say anything

to anyone about my parents.

I know you wouldn't.

Of course not. I'm not Bina

Aunty.

Oh, my God.

Can you imagine if Bina Aunty knew?

I heard she's actually

going through with it.

Well, Asha didn't have a

choice, na?

He was going to leave her

anyway.

And they were married

just as long as any of us.

Speaking of, Sheila, who did you

decide on for your anniversary party?

Oh. We're going with Tejal's.

They did such a fantastic job

at Shivani's sweet 16, na?

- Right.

- But nothing over-the-top.

This is not one of our big

anniversaries, you know, so...

At our age, they're all big

ones.

Well, Asha won't be there,

that's for sure.

What a scandal.

I suppose that's it

for her dinner parties.

No more homemade gulab jamun,

ladies.

Thank goodness!

Poor Asha.

- Poor Asha.

- Poor Asha.

Poor Asha.

Oh, let me take that.

You're so quick.

I'll take it next time.

Hey, Alia.

Hey!

What's wrong?

Where's Mom?

Mom, she's out all day.

Lunch and shopping,

running around with Saahil and Jiya,

soccer practice and dance and all that.

Did you and your mom have

another fight?

No. Actually, this is about you.

And Uma Aunty.

I saw you.

Saw me what?

I saw you upstairs

at the party with Uma Aunty.

I don't know what you're

talking about.

You don't know?

So you weren't making out

with Uma Aunty at our party?

- Hey! Watch your tone!

- You watch your tone!

How could you do something like

this?

Alia, stop.

Stop it right now.

This is between your father

and me, so butt out.

You know about this?

Oh, my God.

How long has this been going on?

Not a word more, Alia.

Now go upstairs and do your

homework!

- It's summer!

- Then just go upstairs.

This is so messed up.

Oh, now this asshole wants to

talk?

Just give me a sec, okay?

Okay.

Hey. How's it going?

"How's it

going?"

You've been avoiding me for days,

and now you text me six times in a row?

Where have you been? We need to

talk.

I know.

We should get there around 8:00.

Uh, do you want to Uber

with me, Caitlin, and Josh?

What the hell are you talking

about?

Uh, hello? Nitin's birthday?

That's what you're calling me

about?

Don't you wanna discuss our parents?

Uh, it's all I've been thinking about.

Ew. Perv.

Do you think this is funny?

Do you think it's funny that my dad

grabbed a handful of your mom's...

Dude! All right. Uh...

Look, um...

I just wanna forget about the

whole thing.

I don't want to think about it.

I don't want to talk about it.

I'm definitely not talking

to my parents about it.

You talked to your parents,

right?

- Did it help?

- No.

So, then, just forget it.

There's no point.

Seriously? That's it?

Seriously.

So, Uber?

Mmm, I'm not feeling it.

I'm going to hang out with Varun.

Varun?

Well, you want to invite Varun

to tag along?

Sure.

Varun, wanna come to Nitin's

birthday party with us?

I can't. I have to

work.

Varun has to work.

Oh.

So, I guess I'll meet you guys

there.

Okay.

- Bye.

- Bye.

- Yum.

- You like this?

I got a guy.

Mango juice for days.

Did your parents

have an arranged marriage?

Uh, no.

They met in college, fell in

love.

All that.

- Did yours?

- Pretty much.

Well, their parents introduced them,

and then they agreed to get married.

They've never dated or anything.

I wonder if they ever loved

each other.

Your mom said my mom

changed since college.

I wonder what she was like.

Did you talk to your mom

at all after the party?

No. I asked, but she said

what your mom said.

That they were just classmates.

You guys have a lot of books.

- You guys do, too.

- Yeah, but they're all fake.

- They're fake?

- Yeah.

My parents bought all these sets

from the interior designer.

They're in Swedish or something.

Most of the pages aren't even

cut.

They just... match the rug.

- I didn't even know that was a thing.

- Oh, it's a thing.

Rahul's family has the same

ones in blue.

You live in a strange world.

Yup.

- Hey, girl! How are you?

- Hey!

I love your top!

Oh, thanks, Twindians.

- Twindians?

- Yeah.

You're so funny.

So, when did you and Varun

start hanging out?

I don't know. When do you think our

parents started screwing each other?

- What?

- I said, "I don't know.

"When do you think our parents

started screwing each other?"

- I was just asking.

- So was I.

Look. It's messed up.

But we can't do anything about

it.

We'll be back at school

before you know it.

Let's at least try to enjoy our

summer.

Ugh! You're all sweaty.

- Classy.

- You know it.

Saahil, can I just

have my phone back?

No.

I don't have any games on there.

You can literally check,

there's nothing on there.

- No.

- Just give it back.

Just go get your dumb video

games and go sit over there.

Get away from me.

Hmm.

For God's sake, Mom.

Shit.

What?

Mom?

What on earth are you doing

wearing my shoes?

Don't get them all stretched

out.

I want to wear them to the Varmas' party,

which we all are going to, by the way.

And I'm telling you, Alia,

I don't want any attitude from you.

I don't want you to fight with Jiya,

no smart comments, no rolling your eyes,

not a word, nothing.

And I think you should wear

your new blue anarkali,

so make sure it's ironed.

Did you hear me?

Yeah.

Good.

Now put the shoes back.

Hello, Alia beti!

Oh, for fuck's sake.

Hi, Aunty!

Picking something up for your

mother?

No. No, actually I'm picking

something up for myself.

Hello, good sir!

Can you help me find some tomatoes?

I'm looking for some firm,

ripe, juicy ones.

My pleasure, ma'am.

On second thought, wow!

That is some gigantic cucumber!

I'll take five.

Isn't this insane?

I mean, what the hell is this?

- Have you seen this picture before?

- Never.

I know my parents were big

into protests and stuff

in college, but no.

Do you think your mom will talk

to me?

Probably.

I mean, my mom is way cooler

than your mom.

So true. Can we trade?

Does your son still go

to that community college?

Our housekeeper's son

was thinking of going there.

She's also from East River.

Varun has already finished his

two years there, with top grades.

He's actually starting at UCLA this fall.

Isn't that where your son also goes?

USC. Pre-med.

$38.49.

You know, I may not have the latest

saris or the newest French perfume,

but my family works really hard,

and we don't allow anyone

to make us feel ashamed of that.

Of course, dear.

Hard work always pays off.

For some, sooner than others.

What can you do?

Ta-ta, beti.

Ta-ta.

Can you take over?

That sucked.

Yeah.

Uh, dude, you know I'm not

actually buying any of that, right?

Hundreds of women

have been demonstrating

in the Indian capital in memory

of the victim of a brutal attack.

The march was one of several protests

that have taken place in New Delhi.

This man hasn't even

lost his membership.

He's still an honorable

Member of Parliament.

I am ashamed to be a part of

this system.

Ashok swung his nine-iron like

Tendulkar

and the damn thing went flying.

It was hilarious.

How many rotis do you want? One

or two?

And he got so angry,

he jumped in the golf cart and

drove away.

Jiya's dentist called.

He thinks she might need braces.

Damn near killed a

caddy.

Did you even hear what I said?

Braces.

Yes.

I heard you.

The Varmas' party is coming up.

God.

We'll have to hear all about

their great fancy trip to Luxembourg.

As if none of us have gone

to Luxembourg before.

Everyone knows they're boring.

So what? Shall we not go?

Of course we'll go.

How can we not go?

People will think something

is wrong if we don't go.

They'll think something is

wrong.

Yeah.

We'll go. No problem.

Business as usual.

My surgery patient.

I have to run.

See you in a bit.

- Subtle.

- My parents redecorated.

So, do Indians live here, or...?

So, where is your other half

tonight?

When should I start

my wedding shopping, eh?

You're sweet.

Lata, we need some more tikkis.

And go tell the cooks

to hurry up with the dinner!

Everyone is starving.

Uncle, can you tell me

where the kitchen is?

Kya, beta? The kitchen?

It's right over here.

I was just making sure you knew.

Oh.

I'll get the tikkis.

I want samosa.

Ranjit has never been

able to keep it in his pants.

Typical.

What about Uma? So disgraceful.

So disgusting.

What kind of a woman behaves

this way?

Well, looks like Alia is

following in her father's footsteps.

Have you seen her carrying on

with all these boys?

Poor Sheila. She must know

that everybody knows about this.

Poor Sheila.

Poor Sheila.

Your kid got caught having a

three-way in the school gym.

Yours failed his physics final and

cried in front of the entire class.

Yours... is actually just a

pothead.

We all think she's pretty cool.

- Hey, girl.

- I need to talk to you.

What's going on? Are you okay?

Why the hell did you tell?

What? I didn't say anything.

Why is the whole party talking

about it?

I don't know. Maybe someone

else told.

Well, you're the only person that I told.

And Rahul won't talk about it.

So, someone else?

Varun? I mean, he doesn't

even know these people.

What if he told his mom,

and she said something?

Everyone goes to their store.

I'm sorry.

This stuff blows over. You know

that.

My parents are planning

this stupid anniversary party.

To honor their marriage.

People will find something new

to gossip about by then.

You know the 24-hour Ruby Hill

news cycle.

Don't worry. Nothing's going to

change.

That's the problem!

Look at this.

What is this?

- It's a picture of my mom.

- What? No way.

Why do you have a picture

of angry Indian Marines?

That's Sheila Aunty, moron.

What?

- No way.

- Exactly.

Why would this woman spend

all of the goddamn time

cleaning stains out of the rug

and reading gossip magazines?

Why would this woman

let her husband cheat on her?

What, now Neha knows?

Your parents are full of

surprises.

Our parents are full of shit.

I gotta get out of here.

Where are you going?

- Are you going to walk?

- No.

Run.

Do you need a ride or something?

I'm good! All good!

What are you doing here?

Is everything okay?

Yeah. I just...

I need to ask your mom something.

Um, she is known to answer

the front door on occasion.

Jesus. Did you walk here?

Hey.

Did you tell anyone

about my dad and Rahul's mom?

Of course not. Who would I even

tell?

Your mom?

And then maybe she told because

my mom was so cold to her?

I didn't tell my mom,

and either way, she would never

do something like that.

Come on.

Alia?

What are you doing here?

Did you ring the doorbell?

No, I came in through the

window.

Aunty, can you tell me about the

Society for Women's Equality?

Beta, why don't you make us

some chai?

So, what was this?

Like a feminist club or something?

Or

something.

She actually came to protests

with you?

Came with us?

No. Your mother organized them.

What?

To put it mildly, Delhi wasn't a

good place for women back then.

Still isn't.

We never felt safe.

And we decided we had to do

something

to get organized and fight back.

So, we started the society,

and Sheila was our president.

- That's kind of a big deal.

- Yeah.

Imagine your mother, if you can,

back then, young and angry.

So... what's with this

shaved-head photo?

People were spreading vicious

lies,

attacking our characters.

We were out there, fighting as

equals,

but the police only saw us as

weak women,

easily intimidated.

They told us we'd never find

husbands if we kept it up.

So Sheila got this idea

as a way to fight against the

patriarchy.

It was our way of showing them

that we were committed

to fighting for what was right.

Husbands be damned.

Your mother was incredibly

brave.

She seemed unstoppable.

But then she stopped.

There was a woman, Rupa,

who had been brutally attacked

by a high-up government

official.

And he claimed

she was lying to blackmail him.

So they put her in jail instead

of him.

It was an outrage.

We protested, did sit-ins at

the jail,

but it didn't matter.

They wouldn't let her out.

So we decided to break her out.

That night,

Sheila led the group to Rupa's

cell,

but the police were waiting.

Sheila was arrested.

And then they threw her in jail

too.

I think she spent four,

five nights in there

before her uncle arrived.

It was a very serious situation.

They were going

to file charges against her

and put her on trial.

And then...

suddenly, she was gone.

There were all sorts of rumors

flying about,

but no one really knew what had

happened.

And that was the last we had

heard of her.

So imagine my surprise

when we came to your house

and I saw her

in that fancy sari and jewels,

handing out paneer tikka

as if she had never

marched a day in her life.

Are you okay, beta?

Yeah. It's just a lot to take

in.

Look,

Ruby Hill isn't exactly

a hotbed of liberal activism.

Maybe it was just easier for

your mother

to compromise a little bit.

You don't know the half of it.

Here. Neha found this.

What on earth were you thinking,

running away from the party like that?

And where have you been?

I was with Bhairavi Aunty.

Talking about you.

Come inside. It's getting late.

Did you shave your head in

college

because you were standing up

for women's rights?

Yes.

Did you go to jail because you

were helping a woman escape?

Yes.

Do you know what the

word "patriarchy" means?

And you kept it a secret?

Why?

Why? Why would you hide it from

me?

Why would you act like

it's something embarrassing?

Because I am embarrassed, Alia!

It's not who I am anymore.

It was too hard to keep on

fighting.

Look,

back then, my life was

complicated.

I want your life to be simple,

easy.

That's what I want for you.

But that's not what I want.

You do these things when you're

young,

and stupid, and reckless.

And then you get tired.

And then you grow up.

Grow up, Alia.

Mom, I can't find my

ghungroos!

Mom! Saahil just broke my chair!

I'm bleeding so much!

I'm coming.

Hey, girl!

I love your... sneakers!

You know what?

You've never liked me,

and I've never liked you.

So why don't we stop bullshitting

and just say what we really mean.

Okay, I'll go first. Um...

You two are the most boring,

petty

and, frankly,

interchangeable girls I've ever met.

I've known you my whole life,

and I still can't tell you apart.

Well, you're a bitch!

Yeah, you're, like, a total

slut!

Feels good, doesn't it?

Sheila, do we have any beer?

I don't know, Ranjit.

Why don't you take a look, hmm?

- Arey, you're right there, na, baba.

- I'm busy!

Fine, fine.

No problem.

I can get my own beer, you know.

I do know.

What's with this

sudden attitude?

No attitude.

And it's not sudden.

Sheila?

Hmm?

What is this?

Where did this come from?

Alia.

She must have found it in my

things.

You kept it all this time?

Why?

Did you tell her anything?

No.

She found out on her own.

- How?

- Bhairavi.

Ah...

Do you still want this?

"All Indian, all spice, baby!"

Hi, ladies. Just these?

Hi, Varun. Yeah. Gotta hydrate.

Yeah.

You're all set.

Oh, could you open these for us?

Sure.

They're so going to get married.

Kind of a shame, though.

Rahul could do so much better.

Rich, handsome, and going to be

a doctor.

No wonder Alia's

not letting him get away.

I'll bet his dad will get him

an elephant for the wedding,

just like Vikram's, remember?

No, I heard his dad knows

some tiger guy in India,

and that's what he's gonna ride

on.

Can you imagine,

Rahul riding into the baraat on

a tiger?

So hot!

You can't ride a tiger!

Maybe you can't.

Ah, I'm so glad

you live on the first floor.

I missed you.

You're such a hypocrite.

What?

You act like you're not part

of the same bullshit,

that somehow because

you roll your eyes at it,

you're not just the same

as everyone else here.

What the hell are you talking

about?

Everywhere I go in Ruby Hill,

people have something to say.

People are talking shit about my family,

or community college, or whatever!

And you're just as superficial

as everyone else here.

I'm not superficial!

I watch documentaries,

and I go to spoken word,

and I...

wear organic chapstick!

I'm nothing like these people!

No, no, no.

You're exactly like these people!

And I'll bet your organic

chapstick costs, like, $12,

but no worries, you're probably

still on your dad's credit card!

- I have my own credit card.

- Yeah, well, who pays the bill?

They want me to focus on school

and not have to worry about money.

How nice for you.

How nice for all of you to

not have to worry about money.

I mean, do you think I didn't

notice

everyone laughing at my parents

that night at your party?

Why... Why did you even invite

us?

Because I wanted to get to know

you.

What for? You already have

your groom-to-be waiting in the wings.

Excuse me?

It just seems like I'm your

easy Miller Park hookup,

and Rahul's the one

you're gonna end up with.

Everyone seems to think you two

should just rent a big fancy hall,

and a big fancy elephant,

or Bengal tiger or whatever,

and get married.

I mean, Reema and Roma said you

and Rahul are basically engaged.

Varun!

Reema and Roma?

Are you seriously gonna

believe two gossiping girls

before even checking with me?

Man, I thought the aunties were

bad.

Are you calling me an aunty?

I'm calling you a goddamn aunty!

- Is there something you want to say?

- No. Is there something you want to say?

Nope.

So, um...

I guess that's it.

Fine.

Well, thanks for

the mango juice, and the sex,

and the history lesson about my

mom.

Oh, you're welcome.

Quit splashing me, you

turd!

You're the turd!

Wow, I didn't know

a turd could wear makeup.

Stop splashing me.

Out of the pool, kids. Chop,

chop.

Alia?

People will talk if you don't

come.

People will talk either way.

What's going on?

I'm not going.

Oh, baba, enough with this

nonsense.

The party's at

Rahul's house tonight, right?

Do you really want me to go?

Because I can.

Pretty gutsy

to ditch your own party.

- Your parents are going to freak.

- I don't give a shit.

I just...

I couldn't handle it tonight.

Especially without you there.

People still whispering about

it?

- Yeah.

- Are you okay?

No.

What?

Are you and Varun

getting serious or something?

I don't know. I mean...

That's not it.

This is too easy.

I mean...

our lives are too easy.

We can't do this just because

it's the easy thing to do.

I don't wanna make the same

mistakes my parents did

and end up in this bullshit

world of lies like they did!

I don't want to live in a house

full of fake Swedish books!

Wait, what? They're fake?

Huh.

Who knew?

What if we are who we are,

and then everything changes,

and we don't recognize

ourselves anymore?

Look...

people change when they get

older.

It's not always a tragic thing,

is it?

I mean, my dad used to be an

army medic,

and now he's building

a koi pond in our backyard.

And you don't think that's

tragic?

Just forget all that stuff for

a second.

I am sick of people telling me

to forget about stuff!

Stop telling me to forget about

stuff!

Fine! Jesus!

So, we cool?

I'm cool. Are you cool?

Super cool.

- So, fine. We're cool.

- Cool.

Divya said

that they moved out last week

and now Asha's in some

two-room nothing in Miller.

Can you imagine?

Terrible schools in that area.

Her kids will never

get into a good college.

It's a hard situation.

I feel for the family.

Of course.

- Of course.

- We all do!

It is terrible. Such a shame.

So, Sheila, I ran into Alia

the other day at India Sweets.

She was talking to that boy,

Varun.

Probably about school.

Probably.

You know, that Bhairavi

has gotten downright unfriendly.

I do miss the Guptas.

They were always so...

oh, I don't know. Quiet.

Excuse me.

Can I get a separate check,

please?

Motherfu... What the hell, Mom!

I'm going to the Indian store.

- Okay?

- Come on. Hop in.

But I'm all sweaty and gross,

and...

Just get in. Come on.

Oh! Sorry.

Are we here to buy more

biscuits?

Hello, Alia.

- Sheila.

- Hi, Aunty.

Hi, Bhairu.

Uh, we'll take a pound of

laddoos.

Sure.

You used to make them for our

meetings.

You remember.

I remember.

Yes! Yes! You guys had meetings!

Uh, Bhairu, do you have

a place we can talk?

Come.

The last time we saw each other

was at the jailhouse that night.

Morning, Sheila.

Get up.

After my uncle came,

everything happened so quickly.

He didn't let me pack or say

goodbye.

We went straight home to Rampur.

My mother had had a heart attack,

and they all blamed me for it.

The terrible rumors about me

had reached them.

I tried to tell them

that it was all lies...

...and what I was actually fighting

for, but they didn't believe me.

They didn't care.

All that mattered

was that I had disgraced them.

I knew that if my mom didn't

survive,

it would be on my head.

And then they showed me a young

man

who wanted to go to America.

Who needed money and papers.

And my family wanted me as far

away from them as possible.

That's how I married

Ranjit.

That was that.

Before I knew it,

we were on the plane to New Jersey.

Ranjit was on his way

to becoming a doctor,

and I became

what everyone wanted me to be:

a wife, a mother,

quiet.

I thought about you so much,

Bhairu,

and all our friends.

But I couldn't bring myself to

call you.

My life was already so

different.

I had compromised so much.

I had to start again.

It feels like another lifetime.

It wasn't so long ago.

I had no idea.

How could you, beta?

No one did.

We should head back.

Bhairu,

it'll mean a lot to me

if you came to our party

on Saturday night.

I will be there.

So, I'll go to the hospital first

and then I might go for a golf game.

Is it really golf you're going

to?

Yes, of course. What do you

mean?

Her blouse was inside out.

Did you really think

that no one noticed it?

And that you'd be so arrogant

to do it in a party,

in our own home!

It was a mistake, Sheila. Just

let it go.

I didn't agree

to be made a fool of, Ranjit.

I didn't agree for you to be

having affairs all over town!

I deserve respect.

This has to stop, or else...

Or else, what, Sheila?

You want a divorce?

You think people talk now, just

wait.

They'll say, "Oh, my goodness,

Sheila didn't have any problem

"shopping at Neiman Marcus

all these years,

"driving her fancy cars all

these years."

You... have known all along...

so why suddenly put everything we

have worked so hard for at risk?

We both knew what this

was from the beginning.

I had... no illusions about it.

You have put yourself above

your family once, Sheila,

and you saw what happened.

Don't make the same mistake

again.

What do we really

mean to each other, Ranjit,

after all these years?

You are a good wife.

You are a good mother.

And we have a good life.

Let's keep our family together,

Sheila.

Hmm?

Now, I have a golf game on

Saturday,

and I need to make sure I keep

up.

So, I'll see you in a few hours.

Our anniversary is on Saturday.

Yeah, of course it is.

We'll be hosting the dinner

and we'll celebrate. Right?

Ranjit, we...

It is a special day,

and it's important to celebrate

these things with the community.

I'll be back in a few

hours.

Hmm, you did learn something

in college after all.

- Ha-ha. What's all that?

- Something for the party.

We're still... We're still

doing that?

- Hey.

- Hey.

Hey.

- So...

- Don't!

No.

Sick outfit.

Thanks.

Do you know who the

caterer is?

No, but I think yours

was better.

I know, right?

Can I do anything to help?

Um, no, just enjoy yourself.

Come on, Mom. I know you're in

there.

How long now have you been

married?

Tell us. How old were you,

Sheila?

Nineteen.

Aw.

Everyone. Please, come eat.

Business as usual, huh?

Not tonight.

- What's going on?

- I don't know.

We had planned

this wonderful vacation to Maui,

but then her husband

got indicted for embezzling.

We had already put in

the deposit for the hotel

and... and...

and... uh...

Whoa.

Let them talk.

You look just like your mother.

You've really done it,

Alia.

Let's go. Come. Now.

No, Ranjit. That's enough.

Sheila, come. People

are staring.

Let them stare.

Let them see!

How else will they know what to

talk about in the next party?

Sheila, please. You need to

calm down.

No!

What I need, Ranjit,

is a good, stiff drink.

Bhairu, won't you join me?

Come on, Uma. Share a drink

with me.

We are already sharing my

husband.

- Sheila.

- Savage.

And there was Chandrika, eight

years ago.

Radhika, three years ago.

And let's not forget the

receptionists:

Angelia, Vanessa, Lucia.

I remember the names of all

your mistakes.

Stop your

nonsense, Sheila, please.

Arey baba, don't

worry.

Everyone already knows.

Don't you, Bina? Lata?

Don't pretend it's news.

And don't worry, Uma.

They've been judging you just as

the same they've been judging me.

I'm not a loose woman! And...

Gurvinder visits prostitutes!

- Dad!

- Uma!

He spent the money for our koi

pond on a pair of Vegas hookers!

Oh, my God.

What do you want me to do, huh?

Uma has not been interested in

sex

since my testicle retracted...

I can't help it, it's just so

strange!

And who are you all to judge

me, anyway?

I know for a fact that Shalini

and her voice teacher

are having an affair!

Don't drag me into your mess,

huh, Uma, please.

I knew it, Shalini!

All that money and you still

sound like a dying cat.

What are you laughing at, Ajit,

huh?

How many drinks have you

already had tonight, huh?

You're going to make

your wife drive you home again

so you can vomit out the side

window?

Please. Crazy.

Okay, everyone. Maybe we can...

I have a BMW! It's a luxury car,

and I paid 100K for it!

Premal just bought us an Audi

that is 200K!

Premal can't afford

to spend 200K on an Audi!

I most certainly can!

Laxmi spent all our money

on plastic surgery.

She can't even move her jaw.

That's not true!

Poonam used Fair &

Lovely so much

that I started to see veins on

her face!

It's like living in a horror

movie!

Nakul shaves his legs.

My Preeti is a gay!

She never lets me buy her saris.

My Nitin is a gay!

He's taking salsa dancing

classes with his boyfriend.

Mom, I came out, like, two

years ago.

You all know I'm gay.

I'm gay, I'm gay, I'm gay all

day.

I'm also a gay!

No, no, no. I'm not a gay.

I just got carried

away.

Bina, she is not renovating her

game room.

Her son flunked out of USC.

He's living in their basement.

That's why she couldn't throw

a party all summer long!

You started all of this, Sheila!

But you have your own secrets,

don't you?

Why don't you tell all of us

about your sordid past

with your dear friend, Bhairavi!

It's true.

Bhairavi and I do have a past.

What?

We were very close in college.

And we were feminists!

We were brave, honest, and

angry!

We were committed to something

much larger than ourselves.

We risked everything because

we believed our lives, our

words,

were worth something.

We were worth something.

We are worth something.

I'm done with this arrangement,

Ranjit.

Pack your bags and find a hotel.

Now, enjoy the party, everyone!

There's chai in the kitchen

and plenty of biscuits!

You don't look so bad now that

your hair is starting to grow out.

Thanks.

You know, you could always wear

a hat.

Can I help you?

Would you like to,

I don't know, borrow some

eyeliner?

Dad called.

Mom's talking to him right now.

Oh.

Are Mom and Dad gonna get a

divorce?

I don't know.

But whatever happens,

we're gonna be okay. Okay?

Yeah.

Okay.

I mean, it's gonna take us all

some time

to process everything that's

happened.

It's a journey,

just like Ariana Grande says.

Yeah. Right.

Can I have your headbands?

Hey.

Hey.

So, I wanted to invite you guys

to a dinner party at my

parents' place this weekend.

I'm kidding.

I think I effectively killed

that scene for a while.

Uh, yeah. I'd say that's

accurate.

I'm sorry about...

everything.

This has been a weird summer.

I'm sorry that I said all those

things about your money and stuff.

It's hard being a poor Indian

in a place like this.

Well, you'll be at UCLA now.

I can show you

all the cheap places to eat.

They always have the best food.

Sounds great.

It'll be nice to have a friend

there.

A really good friend.

So, you should text me when

you're all settled and stuff...

okay?

I will.

- Hmm. Everything fits?

- Yup. Ready to go.

Bye, guys.

Bye, Sonic.

Ha-ha.

Mmm, love ya.

Love you.

Hi.

Hi, kids!

- Hi, Dad.

- Hi, Dad.

So you're off.

Yeah.

We don't want to be late.

Um...

Where are the rest of your bags?

I'm taking her.

Okay.

Uh...

- Shall I stay with the kids?

- Sure.

I'll get my purse.

Was it worth the excitement?

Your mom and I,

we started out in the wrong

circumstances.

But from that,

we built something wonderful

together,

something very important to me.

I don't want to lose that.

I don't want to lose this

family.

So, have a safe flight, okay?

And text us when you land.

I will.

I'll drop Alia off

and then run a few errands.

Yeah, I'm here.

Take your time.

You're very quiet.

A wise man once told me

that words are powerful.

Sometimes, it's nice to just be

quiet.

I don't know

what I'm supposed to be doing.

I don't know either.

But I guess we'll figure it out.

We'll figure it out.

Hey, kiddo.

Don't be too quiet.