In 80 Takten um die Welt (1960) - full transcript
Ladies and gentlemen, good evening.
As advertised,
we now present Midnight Porno.
The broadcaster hopes that
all minors are already in bed.
Let's get started.
Here we go...
We are taking a journey
that will instruct you in sexuality
the world over. We believe
that many of you will be amazed
by what goes on.
Let's start the journey.
Let's start right here,
in America.
In our city of New York.
ERWIN C. DIETRICH
presents
AROUND THE WORLD
IN 80 BEDS
You've seen magnificent close-ups
of New York a thousand times.
You also know the trendy hangouts
on the West Side.
And 42nd Street is as busy and
fraught with sex as ever.
But for New York's in-crowd, Lower Manhattan's
Greenwich village is where it's at.
Recently, in one of its
many tiny, secret clubs...
I was at a black mass, celebrated
for an exclusive group of millionaires.
The eternally young Sunella Parker
was also there.
There she is.
In her element.
Let us pray that all the
demons in the kingdom of the
Prince of Darkness
will graciously hear us.
That they will rejoice
over this unsullied creature
whom today we sacrifice
in their honour.
Let the forces of evil delight
in this bloodied sword
and with their mighty power
drive and guide the hand
which virtue has weakened
so that the blade of the sword
shall cause blood to pour forth
as a refreshing sustenance
for their damned souls.
The Holy One,
let it be Lucifer the Terrifier,
in the name of the Penis
and of the Vagina,
and of all the glorious Sins,
Amen.
Oh Satan, hear our prayer.
Grant us your strength,
so that you may be incarnate
in our bodies which are still too pure.
Allow me, oh sublime Lucifer,
to offer you my devotion.
By this solemn mass
in praise of the almighty Satan
that you may find joy
in the death of this girl.
In the name of the Penis, and of the Vagina
and of all the glorious Sins.
Let us pray, that our eyes and
ears delight in sin.
Satan be with you.
Come, oh Lord of Darkness,
and fill our minds with evil thoughts.
Let us offer you the genitalia
of this virgin.
The virgin womb,
the full ovaries and
the fresh bleeding vagina
of this shameless virgin.
Her mortal agony and
cries of pain will
pleasure our souls.
Oh Satan, bless this mass
and free us from all good.
Satan be with you.
Cursed be goodness.
Cursed be virtue
and the heavenly kingdom.
Let us pray, that with this chalice
of whisky and aphrodisiacs,
the great hour approaches,
and takes you.
The time of flesh
and blood nears.
The penis grows,
the vagina gets wet.
The time for bodily sin
fast approaches.
Already, I feel the presence
of our Lord, Lucifer.
Come to us,
oh Omniscient Almighty.
Come with your flock
of fallen angels
and fill our bodies with lust
and carnal rapture.
Satan be with you.
Free us from pure thoughts
that lead our spirits away
and enable us to
indulge in the sinful pleasures
of life with rapture.
Oh Satan, let our lives be
blessed with lustfulness.
Let fraud and corruption
be our mission on earth.
Lead us into temptation.
Let our righteousness
burn in the fires of hell
and the greatest earthly sins
be our greatest pleasure.
Take as thine gift
the blood of this girl.
We commit the
mortal sin of murder.
As we gather here united
with you, Lucifer.
Satan be with you.
Be enraptured at his lust
for this sacrifice.
He is with us. Give thanks
to the Lord of the Damned
so that he makes you his companions
in the life to come.
I take this sword in the
name of the mighty Lucifer
to cut open the heart
of this hypocrite.
Her blood belongs to Satan.
Her body belongs to us.
Her blood shall flow
to you in the earth.
Her body shall be our delight.
We need your flesh
to be happy on earth.
And our Prince of Darkness, Satan,
needs your blood
to hear our prayers.
Chaste virgin,
I curse you
and your pure thoughts
and your innocent lips.
Your breasts,
untouched by a man's hands, I curse.
Your body, as yet unsullied by
man's sperm, I curse.
And I curse this vagina
which knows not erotic pleasure.
You have wasted your time on earth.
You shall atone for this with Satan.
Almighty Satan, guide my hand.
Farewell, hypocrite.
This is what you deserve!
Satan be with you.
Glorious.
Glorious.
That was just great.
Afterwards, we dined
with the actors.
The young actress
who played the victim
financed her studies
from such performances.
I was really taken with her.
In the course of the night, she told me
of the many
people who took it for real.
You too perhaps, dear viewer?
She also told me about a
weird collection campaign
that was carried on in
San Francisco for years.
Here's an example.
One warm evening, Sally, a hooker,
was approached by Edwin.
She took the clueless guy
back to her apartment
in the best part of town.
And now? Here we go...
Here we are.
Come in, darling, I'll turn on the light.
- Thank you.
This is palatial!
- Do you think so?
- Indeed I do!
Make yourself at home.
How much will our bit of fun cost?
- Who said anything about money?
Oughtn't we talk
about it later?
I don't like surprises. How much?
- It depends on your virility.
What? - As I said.
- The more times, the more it costs?
Quite the opposite.
The more times you come,
the cheaper it will be for you.
- Seriously? - Yes.
You have my word.
- What are we waiting for? - No idea.
Into bed then.
I would like to remove your trousers now.
- Please do.
And now we'll find out
just how virile you are.
Careful, I'm about to come.
Yes, again, darling.
Yes!
I am about to come again.
Come! Yes!
Go ahead!
I need your load.
- I am just about to come.
Go on, you can do it again.
Show me that you're a real man.
You are a force of nature.
- Are you coming soon?
- Yes.
I'm coming.
I can't do it anymore.
Darling, just one more time.
Thrust!
Oh well...
Let's see what you've accomplished.
Kudos! Who'd have thought
the little man could manage that?
The best things
come in small packages.
You really are amazing.
- What will it cost?
Don't worry about that.
You managed 2 lots of ten milliliters.
Not bad at all.
There are not many who can do that.
You are a little Hercules.
Thank you.
What's with this mysterious behaviour
being played out all over the city?
I have decided
to bring the truth to light.
The surprising result
of my research
will be shown in a film
which we have screened for you.
Today, we introduce Sunella Parker,
founder of the Frisco Sperm Bank,
for whom we have a few questions.
How did you come up with the idea
of employing girls to collect sperm?
My god!
Don't you know what age I am, darling?
I don't know. From the age of 16,
a woman's age is no-one's business.
Around 30? - The sperm in the bank
is needed for me to immerse myself in
once a month.
The girls collect sperm
for my bath.
There is nothing
better for the skin.
Believe me, darling,
it works wonders on the bodily tissues.
And it's great
for the digestion.
That's amazing.
It must cost a fortune.
My dear child,
how old do you think I am?
- 27 at the most?
- Way off the mark!
I am already 80.
Unbelievable. - It's true. I am 80.
- With skin like silk. So inviting.
Serve yourself, darling.
Do what you like. - This is a first.
I never had an 80 year old before.
- Lick me.
- I will.
Keep licking.
- Do you want to lick me?
- Yes.
You taste so good
like a young girl. Delicious.
She was amazing.
She also got me
to get sperm for her.
You heard correctly.
How was that done?
It was a high point of the trip.
And it was paid.
Dear viewer, I will show you now
how it was done.
I waited for my first client.
Pardon.
Hey, you! Come back in!
You're in the right place.
So good evening.
If you don't mind.
- Come closer.
- There you go.
I drank too much.
I absolutely must eat.
Looks appetising.
Lovely.
Kiss me!
Hey, fatso. Off with the trousers!
Come on. I'll help you.
I... - Stand to attention, fatso.
We're about to get going.
And off we go!
- Help!
- Quiet. Concentrate!
Oh my god...
That's good.
- I think I'm about to come.
- Great, fatso.
Yes. I'm coming.
This was the initial trick,
but the second follows quick.
You can do it again.
Not so quickly.
- Is that good?
- Yes.
- I'm going to come.
- Yes? Fine.
Should I?
Yes, please.
Please! Stop!
So now...
This was the second trick,
but the third one follows quick.
I can't do it anymore.
Watch out. I'm coming again.
- Shoot your load!
I'm coming!
Now!
Stop, I am empty!
For a first timer,
I didn't do badly.
I collected more than 2 lots of ten
millilitres for Sunnella Parker's bath.
Our next destination
was Europe in the Old World,
anything but old
when it comes to sex.
Evenings, I went to Europe's sex metropolis.
In beautiful Copenhagen.
I have already showered.
Always be prepared, I say.
Straight away I headed of my search for
adventure in the 'Swinging Quarter'.
Waiting for me there was not only
a big surprise
but also a great show.
Ladies and gentlemen, a round of applause
for the Schlamp family,
for this likeable threesome.
The Schlamps. Mrs. Schlamp,
father Schlamp and little Schlamp.
Now for the big surprise.
At the entrance you got a number.
The numbers are in this hat.
I am pulling one out.
Fortune has chosen number 50.
Who has number 50?
- Number 50?
- I have it!
You're in luck! You may spend
a fabulous night
with someone from the audience
or a member of staff.
At our expense. Please choose.
We offer something for every taste.
How about Ralf, the fire eater?
His tongue work is world renowned.
Or with Olaf, the magician?
His hands work wonders.
I don't know.
Alright. I'll take that little cutie there.
You're welcome. Sweet Kristina.
A wonderful choice,
I am speaking from experience.
Follow the little one to happiness.
Applause and good luck
to the wonderful couple.
And now for something very special.
- Where are you leading me?
- Come here.
Ladies and gentlemen, in a few seconds
you will see a number which
I hope you will find
surprising and exciting.
Please be patient and enjoy.
Until then, we will entertain you
with music.
Come.
So, there we are.
- I'll help you getting undressed.
- Thanks.
And off with the trousers.
And now...
Oh yes...
That hurts.
Bravo!
- Wonderful! - Yes!
So now...
That can't be true.
Let them just look on.
- I'd like to take part.
- Me too.
What a night.
The show went from 6 a.m. to the end.
The little one was simply
heavenly in bed.
All things come to an end. My next
destination was the Reeperbahn in Hamburg.
Do you know it?
Pay attention.
My dear ladies and gentlemen,
I promise you that Hamburg
offers everything there is to be had
in the world of sex.
It does not matter
what your preferences are.
I got to work straight away.
So much to investigate there!
I ascertained that recently
Sadomasochism is getting
more en vogue.
There are even certain places
where you can get
“special treatment“.
I looked for the most well known
dominatrix in the city
and asked if I could interview her.
There she is. This type of woman is the
object of fantasy of all masochists.
Dressed head to toe in leather.
And a whip.
I am the bride of Satan.
I am proud to be the most
sought after sadist in the city.
How long have you been doing this?
I've been doing this 12 years now
and enjoying it.
Do you love your job?
I always wanted to torture men.
You wouldn't think so many want it.
It is a real responsibility
when you think about it.
All my clients
are absolutely satisfied.
That's what I hope anyway, so that
they will happily return time and again.
Do you think you are providing
a service to society?
My clients
are from the best circles in society.
Business people,
lawyers,
engineers,
even a government minister.
Here they can give
their fantasies free rein.
They get spiritually emancipated
and the beatings are a tonic
for a sick soul.
They lose their complexes.
And so they find peace,
especially through beatings.
They get on better with their fellow man.
It calms their nerves.
And also they get rid of
all their bad thoughts,
thoughts that directed at their family
and, worse, at society.
Could bode an abyss
and a rude awakening for the world.
How do you act with your clients?
Every single one of them requires
an individual therapy.
Do it with me.
Then you can judge for yourself.
So I did it too and soon found
a great liking for the business.
So, you stupid asshole!
There!
Keep his arms pressed to the floor.
Today, he will be
thoroughly worked over.
Stop whimpering
or you'll be sorry.
Stop it!
Stop it, I said!
You mangy dog,
I know what you need.
You like when I kick, don't you?
- Yes.
That turns you on, to feel my boots
on your ribs, yes? - Yes.
- Do you want more?
- Yes.
Then take it, you pig.
You! You son of a bitch.
Good for nothing! Pathetic pig!
I'll show you,
you wimp.
Cunt! Wretch!
Motherfucker! There!
Take that! And that!
Cool!
So! There!
Now, I will see if
you are a man at all.
So. Aha!
What do I see here?
A little floppy willy!
Go on.
Show that you're a man.
Get hard! Go on!
Otherwise I'll bust your balls.
Get hard!
You horny dog! I'll beat you.
So...
Behave like a wild thing, you pig.
Old swine!
You old heap of shit.
Hurry up and finish.
You are a shit. An ass!
That's cool.
I'm coming!
Pump me full, you horny pig!
Yes!
Do you also have clients who want release
in ways other than sadistic ones?
Naturally there are other ways.
The unusual ways
sound interesting. Tell us about an
exceptionally unusual case.
Yes,
“the baby of the family".
Please, mother, don't be angry.
Please, please forgive me.
I know I was terribly naughty
but please don't be angry with me.
I am so sorry.
From now on I will be good.
I deserve to be punished.
- At least you can appreciate that yourself.
Mother, do what you want with me.
- You do realize that you misbehaved.
You know you will be beaten? - Yes, mother.
- Understood?
Yes, mother. - Take off your pants.
- Yes, mother.
What's taking you so long? Hurry.
- I'm going as fast as I can.
Faster.
- Yes, mother. Don't be angry with me.
Do you deserve the punishment?
- Yes, mother, I deserve it.
That hurts. That hurts, mother.
You're hurting me!
Ow.
Yes, mother, that is so good.
Yes, mummy. Yes, mummy.
Mummy, yes, mummy.
Faster, I'm going to come.
Yes, mummy. Yes, darling mummy!
Yes, yes!
Yes, mama! Mummy, yes.
Mother...
Everything is fine now. Take my breasts.
You may suckle again.
Don't cry.
Yes, like that. That's good.
That's lovely.
You are a good boy really.
♪ Sleep, my little prince, sleep.
♪ Sleep, little Prince,
go to sleep.
♪ Go to sleep, go to sleep.
♪ Go to sleep, go to sleep.
That was only one example of many of the
therapies used by Madam Satan
to make her clients absolutely satisfied
as she herself said.
I became one of her most devoted pupils,
and believe me,
there was still an enormous amount of
new things to experience.
She gladly took me on in her practice
and even gave me a name,
one that should make me appear even
more appealing to clients.
I am the Bride of Lucifer.
But only,
to be able to show everything to you live.
Go, you old nag!
You lazy thing. Go!
Stupid old nag, go on go!
Lazy useless crap!
Forward!
- Run, you snail.
That's how to do it, child.
- Quick march. Now go!
Go! Gee up!
Gee up! You useless horse!
Come on, you old nag!
Get a move on.
Don't pretend to be tired.
Hup! Go! Gee up!
You're not doing it. Now go!
Come now, little one.
- Please, mistress. Please, no more.
Bullshit! Get a move on!
Go on, go on!
Gee up!
- Please, mistress, I really can't go on.
What kind of a slow old nag are you?
Are you angry at me?
- Yes. - Please don't be.
Are you happy at least that you
have such a strict mistress? - Yes?
Would you like be our small stallion
again soon? - Yes, mistress.
And now you are balanced and content,
aren't you? Yes.
And as tangible proof of that,
he gave me a generous tip.
Let's leave the world of intellectuals and
decadent sophisticates behind us.
Let's travel to Agoa,
a gorgeous, primitive island -
untouched by the outside world
where to this day ancient rituals
and the most beautiful erotic
traditional rituals take place.
The millionairess,
Sunella Parker, came with me.
We wanted to witness the marriage
of a native to a foreign sailor.
A simple
yet gripping ceremony.
As is the tradition, the virgin must be
deflowered by her godfather.
Only then may the groom
unite with her in body.
Erotically stimulating perfumes
greeted the wedding guests
as they arrived at evening time
to the wedding.
The ritual required not only
that they be witnesses
to the deflowering
by an experienced man,
but also that they may withdraw only
once the act of love-making by
the bride and groom
makes them groan with pleasure.
Then everyone should be satisfied
that the groom knows how
to fulfil his marital duties.
The ceremony begins.
He says that they may not be joined
until the godfather has
deflowered her.
Now, he says, that the godfather shall do it
with the greatest respect for the girl.
In any case, the godfather may not
derive pleasure from the deflowering.
That is not permissible.-
I feel sorry for him.
We leave the bridal couple
with the feeling
that they will be
obliviously happy.
How much more complicated
our continent is.
Nowadays,
people in the developed world
are trying to get back to simple ways
of experiencing lustful pleasure.
Masturbation.
In Amsterdam, I partook in an
intense course on masturbation.
I will now reconstruct
one of these hours,
so that, you dear viewer, can know
what I will submit to for your pleasure.
The man and women were shown not only
how to satisfy themselves properly
but also how to use
various devices to achieve this.
The next theme is called
“Erogenous Zones".
The most erogenous zones
of a penis
we shall call A, B and C.
When the driving force,
i.e. the masturbating hand,
is flexible in zone A but with a firm grip
on zone B glides back and forth in zone B
and this movement is maintained
in a rhythmic tempo
and the thumb
puts light pressure on C
and we achieve
the result S to the power of 2,
i.e. ejaculation,
something you otherwise only
experience through the mouth of a woman.
Understood?
Mr. Roemer, please come to the front.
Yes. - Please repeat
what I have just said.
Yes, I...
Something about sucking?
I thought as much.
For god's sake, what's the point
when you don't listen?!
You'll never learn to wank!
Take your place again, please.
- And pay more attention.
- Yes.
We're not children any more.
Now I want to see if you paid attention
at the class yesterday.
I can't wait.
Herr Fassbinding, come up to the front.
- Yes, Miss.
Can you recap yesterday's lesson
for your fellow pupils?
I refer to the theme “Sex without Coitus -
Theory and Practice...
For sex without coitus,
one needs two fingers.
You put the index finger and the thumb
at an angle of 20 degrees
and so this... back and forth.
- Demonstrate for us.
If you want...
Please.
Very good, Mr. Fassbinding.
Please face the class for your classmates
to see how well you can do it.
Correct, Mr. Fassbinding.
You are doing it perfectly.
Really.
Absolutely perfectly. - Thank you.
- See that, Mr. Roemer.
That's what is called a conscientious
model student.
Shame on you.
And you with the best of
natural abilities.
With a little skill,
you would be very satisfied.
Ah well... Enough of that.
Please take your place.
And thank you very much.
- I think the old girl is hot for him.
Roemer! Come here right now!
Stand up.
- To the front.
- Yes, Miss.
I would like to know
if you have finally understood
what sex without penetration is.
What was that with the fingers?
Explain to me
what one does with the penis.
Well...
The man takes two fingers,
and does this.
More or less.
Then you make a kind of bow.
And does this to it.
You must explain properly.
It comes down to a tenth of a millimetre,
to make an exact
angle of 20 degrees.
That is the essential thing...
What's that supposed to mean?!
- Pardon me, Miss.
I can't help it.
It's been doing that lately
every time you demonstrate
with your fingers.
No way!
That can't be true!
We want to learn how to masturbate
not get provoked over penile stunts.
Let's be serious.
Concentrate.
No!
- Ah! - Quiet now!
Pay attention.
The wrist stays relaxed.
The index finger and thumb form
an angle of exactly 20 degrees.
You work them over the penis.
The feeling that you generate
is fantastic when you do it so.
- Understood?
- Yes.
- Continue.
Sit down.
- Yes, Miss. - Rascal.
Now we come to the
masturbatory aids.
First off the so called
“Aerodynamic Bitch...
This lubricant goes with this.
You put this on the penis.
It makes the penis sensitive and
able to glide in easily.
We then put the penis in here.
Using this balloon, the air which was in
the glass, is removed.
The penis grows bigger
in a vacuum.
Got all that?
- Yes.
- Good.
Mr. Roemer. Come here.
Don't worry, come on.
Yes, Miss.
Hold that for a moment, please.
I will demonstrate the "Aerodynamic Bitch"
if you like.
First take about 10 grams
of lubricant.
Rub it onto the penis
until it is smooth and sensitive,
and erect also.
Yes, that's fine.
I'll show you something special.
The "Tiffany Grip".
A rhythmic movement with the grip
that makes every penis enlarge.
You can bet on that.
We'll be learning that
in one of the next lessons.
That's really good.
- Quiet.
- It's still good.
Sure, Mr. Roemer. You're improving.
Thank you, Miss.
- Look at this.
Erect. There is only the
Tiffany Grip to thank.
Give that to me.
Now the penis is inserted.
Perfect.
Now you must
pump all the air from the glass.
I'll show you.
Notice how the penis continues
to get bigger and stiffer.
Due to the vacuum
it gets more and more erect.
An interesting device, isn't it?
- Yes.
Miss, I am about to come.
- Alright. We'll stop.
It's a wonderful tool, isn't it?
Yes.
Now we turn out attention to one of the
most important developments
in the world of sex -
the blow-up doll.
She's quiet
and never out of sorts.
An ideal woman in many relationships.
Dear students, this woman
has more to offer than you think.
Look here:
Ideal for oral sex.
No real woman has breasts like that.
Soft labia.
And there's an opening to the rear.
The second hole.
Mr. Fassbinding, please come here.
Sure, Miss.
- Let's try it.
Put your penis in
firmly in hole No.2.
Understood? - OK?
- I'll help you.
You have to raise the legs.
Now you have the right angle.
That's perfect.
Legs up.
- Hold firmly.
- She is unruly.
I don't think she wants to.
- It depends on the angle.
I can't find the opening.
It's in front of you. Put it in fully.
- Yes, Miss.
She likes that. That's right.
Now we've got it.
You've doing it very well.
One, two. One, two...
Look how beautifully she smiles.
One, two. One, two...
This lady is always ready to be taken
and is getting more popular.
You have seen only one of
the possibilities for her uses here.
Enough of vigorous sex for today.
The women shouldn't be sold short.
Ms Ellis, please come to the front.
- Excuse me.
- Gladly.
Yesterday we practised
sex without coitus for women.
Could you demonstrate?
Dampen 2 fingers with spit.
Then,
you part your legs like this.
Sensitively massage
the labia and the clitoris.
Like this.
Until you can't take it anymore.
Only then, put your fingers inside you.
- Deeply.
- Well done.
Now the "Customizable Penis".
Show how it's handled.
It's easy.
The penis in one hand
and the pump in the other.
- Correct?
Yes.
Look at the size of it.
- Yes. Very adaptable.
This thing is great.
Getting more interesting all the time.
- Quiet!
- Why suddenly so nasty?
He's right.
Yes, it can be enlarged
to suit every preference.
Great.
- A remarkable object.
Show it to me, please.
- Divine.
- Yes, yes...
Thank you. You can return to your place.
And today, something exceptional.
The well known Sunella Parker
is here and
will tell us about an interesting
way of pleasuring yourself.
This is found only in the Far East.
Can you come to the front, Sunella?
With pleasure.
I will demonstrate to you how the
Dervish pleasure themselves.
This method is employed
all over the Middle East.
It's best I demonstrate it for you.
The highest level of concentration
and physical relaxation is required.
Without being touched,
the body achieves orgasm
through the power of erotic thoughts.
I prefer the customizable penis.
That doesn't matter to me. I shall show you
how I can experience an orgasm
using particular erotic images.
I need absolute silence.
I have to conjure up
erotic fantasies in my mind.
Yes, there they are.
Do you see?
I have orgasmed.
The power of the mind.
- Bravo!
Marvelous.
And so we finish the hour for today.
- I protest!
I strenuously protest.
What about me?
You're only concerned with
totally normal men and women.
In fact there is
a third sex.
True?
Shouldn't you think of us, too?
We also want something
to satisfy us.
We have thought of that as well.
It was intended for a later lesson
but why not do it today?
Don't be impatient.
I have something very special
that will certainly satisfy you.
Please.
- Oh that's so sweet.
The "All-Purpose Penis".
Would you like to try it?
- Now?
- Oh yes.
Yes?
Then let's see
if you can stand it.
Lovely. Oh yes..
Beautiful...
Thus everyone gets their end away.
For some richer experiences, I flew
direct from Amsterdam to the Orient.
The practices of the Dervishes
has fascinated me.
I wanted to explore
this world which is so unknown to us.
The secrets of this ancient place
are kept to this day
from the eyes of westerners
and concealed
in the tents of the Arabian Nights.
Should your path
ever lead you to the Orient
and if one day it is possible for you
to step on the threshold
of this impenetrable land,
then you too will learn
the wonder of chaste love.
It has happened to me.
And so, dear viewer,
our porno program has come to an end.
I hope this broadcast has made you horny.
Like it has me. So how was it?
Do it with me.
I want to try some crazy stuff
by the next broadcast.
Whoever is into that,
contact the broadcaster immediately.
I am waiting.
No matter if you're man or woman,
or both.
Ciao!
As advertised,
we now present Midnight Porno.
The broadcaster hopes that
all minors are already in bed.
Let's get started.
Here we go...
We are taking a journey
that will instruct you in sexuality
the world over. We believe
that many of you will be amazed
by what goes on.
Let's start the journey.
Let's start right here,
in America.
In our city of New York.
ERWIN C. DIETRICH
presents
AROUND THE WORLD
IN 80 BEDS
You've seen magnificent close-ups
of New York a thousand times.
You also know the trendy hangouts
on the West Side.
And 42nd Street is as busy and
fraught with sex as ever.
But for New York's in-crowd, Lower Manhattan's
Greenwich village is where it's at.
Recently, in one of its
many tiny, secret clubs...
I was at a black mass, celebrated
for an exclusive group of millionaires.
The eternally young Sunella Parker
was also there.
There she is.
In her element.
Let us pray that all the
demons in the kingdom of the
Prince of Darkness
will graciously hear us.
That they will rejoice
over this unsullied creature
whom today we sacrifice
in their honour.
Let the forces of evil delight
in this bloodied sword
and with their mighty power
drive and guide the hand
which virtue has weakened
so that the blade of the sword
shall cause blood to pour forth
as a refreshing sustenance
for their damned souls.
The Holy One,
let it be Lucifer the Terrifier,
in the name of the Penis
and of the Vagina,
and of all the glorious Sins,
Amen.
Oh Satan, hear our prayer.
Grant us your strength,
so that you may be incarnate
in our bodies which are still too pure.
Allow me, oh sublime Lucifer,
to offer you my devotion.
By this solemn mass
in praise of the almighty Satan
that you may find joy
in the death of this girl.
In the name of the Penis, and of the Vagina
and of all the glorious Sins.
Let us pray, that our eyes and
ears delight in sin.
Satan be with you.
Come, oh Lord of Darkness,
and fill our minds with evil thoughts.
Let us offer you the genitalia
of this virgin.
The virgin womb,
the full ovaries and
the fresh bleeding vagina
of this shameless virgin.
Her mortal agony and
cries of pain will
pleasure our souls.
Oh Satan, bless this mass
and free us from all good.
Satan be with you.
Cursed be goodness.
Cursed be virtue
and the heavenly kingdom.
Let us pray, that with this chalice
of whisky and aphrodisiacs,
the great hour approaches,
and takes you.
The time of flesh
and blood nears.
The penis grows,
the vagina gets wet.
The time for bodily sin
fast approaches.
Already, I feel the presence
of our Lord, Lucifer.
Come to us,
oh Omniscient Almighty.
Come with your flock
of fallen angels
and fill our bodies with lust
and carnal rapture.
Satan be with you.
Free us from pure thoughts
that lead our spirits away
and enable us to
indulge in the sinful pleasures
of life with rapture.
Oh Satan, let our lives be
blessed with lustfulness.
Let fraud and corruption
be our mission on earth.
Lead us into temptation.
Let our righteousness
burn in the fires of hell
and the greatest earthly sins
be our greatest pleasure.
Take as thine gift
the blood of this girl.
We commit the
mortal sin of murder.
As we gather here united
with you, Lucifer.
Satan be with you.
Be enraptured at his lust
for this sacrifice.
He is with us. Give thanks
to the Lord of the Damned
so that he makes you his companions
in the life to come.
I take this sword in the
name of the mighty Lucifer
to cut open the heart
of this hypocrite.
Her blood belongs to Satan.
Her body belongs to us.
Her blood shall flow
to you in the earth.
Her body shall be our delight.
We need your flesh
to be happy on earth.
And our Prince of Darkness, Satan,
needs your blood
to hear our prayers.
Chaste virgin,
I curse you
and your pure thoughts
and your innocent lips.
Your breasts,
untouched by a man's hands, I curse.
Your body, as yet unsullied by
man's sperm, I curse.
And I curse this vagina
which knows not erotic pleasure.
You have wasted your time on earth.
You shall atone for this with Satan.
Almighty Satan, guide my hand.
Farewell, hypocrite.
This is what you deserve!
Satan be with you.
Glorious.
Glorious.
That was just great.
Afterwards, we dined
with the actors.
The young actress
who played the victim
financed her studies
from such performances.
I was really taken with her.
In the course of the night, she told me
of the many
people who took it for real.
You too perhaps, dear viewer?
She also told me about a
weird collection campaign
that was carried on in
San Francisco for years.
Here's an example.
One warm evening, Sally, a hooker,
was approached by Edwin.
She took the clueless guy
back to her apartment
in the best part of town.
And now? Here we go...
Here we are.
Come in, darling, I'll turn on the light.
- Thank you.
This is palatial!
- Do you think so?
- Indeed I do!
Make yourself at home.
How much will our bit of fun cost?
- Who said anything about money?
Oughtn't we talk
about it later?
I don't like surprises. How much?
- It depends on your virility.
What? - As I said.
- The more times, the more it costs?
Quite the opposite.
The more times you come,
the cheaper it will be for you.
- Seriously? - Yes.
You have my word.
- What are we waiting for? - No idea.
Into bed then.
I would like to remove your trousers now.
- Please do.
And now we'll find out
just how virile you are.
Careful, I'm about to come.
Yes, again, darling.
Yes!
I am about to come again.
Come! Yes!
Go ahead!
I need your load.
- I am just about to come.
Go on, you can do it again.
Show me that you're a real man.
You are a force of nature.
- Are you coming soon?
- Yes.
I'm coming.
I can't do it anymore.
Darling, just one more time.
Thrust!
Oh well...
Let's see what you've accomplished.
Kudos! Who'd have thought
the little man could manage that?
The best things
come in small packages.
You really are amazing.
- What will it cost?
Don't worry about that.
You managed 2 lots of ten milliliters.
Not bad at all.
There are not many who can do that.
You are a little Hercules.
Thank you.
What's with this mysterious behaviour
being played out all over the city?
I have decided
to bring the truth to light.
The surprising result
of my research
will be shown in a film
which we have screened for you.
Today, we introduce Sunella Parker,
founder of the Frisco Sperm Bank,
for whom we have a few questions.
How did you come up with the idea
of employing girls to collect sperm?
My god!
Don't you know what age I am, darling?
I don't know. From the age of 16,
a woman's age is no-one's business.
Around 30? - The sperm in the bank
is needed for me to immerse myself in
once a month.
The girls collect sperm
for my bath.
There is nothing
better for the skin.
Believe me, darling,
it works wonders on the bodily tissues.
And it's great
for the digestion.
That's amazing.
It must cost a fortune.
My dear child,
how old do you think I am?
- 27 at the most?
- Way off the mark!
I am already 80.
Unbelievable. - It's true. I am 80.
- With skin like silk. So inviting.
Serve yourself, darling.
Do what you like. - This is a first.
I never had an 80 year old before.
- Lick me.
- I will.
Keep licking.
- Do you want to lick me?
- Yes.
You taste so good
like a young girl. Delicious.
She was amazing.
She also got me
to get sperm for her.
You heard correctly.
How was that done?
It was a high point of the trip.
And it was paid.
Dear viewer, I will show you now
how it was done.
I waited for my first client.
Pardon.
Hey, you! Come back in!
You're in the right place.
So good evening.
If you don't mind.
- Come closer.
- There you go.
I drank too much.
I absolutely must eat.
Looks appetising.
Lovely.
Kiss me!
Hey, fatso. Off with the trousers!
Come on. I'll help you.
I... - Stand to attention, fatso.
We're about to get going.
And off we go!
- Help!
- Quiet. Concentrate!
Oh my god...
That's good.
- I think I'm about to come.
- Great, fatso.
Yes. I'm coming.
This was the initial trick,
but the second follows quick.
You can do it again.
Not so quickly.
- Is that good?
- Yes.
- I'm going to come.
- Yes? Fine.
Should I?
Yes, please.
Please! Stop!
So now...
This was the second trick,
but the third one follows quick.
I can't do it anymore.
Watch out. I'm coming again.
- Shoot your load!
I'm coming!
Now!
Stop, I am empty!
For a first timer,
I didn't do badly.
I collected more than 2 lots of ten
millilitres for Sunnella Parker's bath.
Our next destination
was Europe in the Old World,
anything but old
when it comes to sex.
Evenings, I went to Europe's sex metropolis.
In beautiful Copenhagen.
I have already showered.
Always be prepared, I say.
Straight away I headed of my search for
adventure in the 'Swinging Quarter'.
Waiting for me there was not only
a big surprise
but also a great show.
Ladies and gentlemen, a round of applause
for the Schlamp family,
for this likeable threesome.
The Schlamps. Mrs. Schlamp,
father Schlamp and little Schlamp.
Now for the big surprise.
At the entrance you got a number.
The numbers are in this hat.
I am pulling one out.
Fortune has chosen number 50.
Who has number 50?
- Number 50?
- I have it!
You're in luck! You may spend
a fabulous night
with someone from the audience
or a member of staff.
At our expense. Please choose.
We offer something for every taste.
How about Ralf, the fire eater?
His tongue work is world renowned.
Or with Olaf, the magician?
His hands work wonders.
I don't know.
Alright. I'll take that little cutie there.
You're welcome. Sweet Kristina.
A wonderful choice,
I am speaking from experience.
Follow the little one to happiness.
Applause and good luck
to the wonderful couple.
And now for something very special.
- Where are you leading me?
- Come here.
Ladies and gentlemen, in a few seconds
you will see a number which
I hope you will find
surprising and exciting.
Please be patient and enjoy.
Until then, we will entertain you
with music.
Come.
So, there we are.
- I'll help you getting undressed.
- Thanks.
And off with the trousers.
And now...
Oh yes...
That hurts.
Bravo!
- Wonderful! - Yes!
So now...
That can't be true.
Let them just look on.
- I'd like to take part.
- Me too.
What a night.
The show went from 6 a.m. to the end.
The little one was simply
heavenly in bed.
All things come to an end. My next
destination was the Reeperbahn in Hamburg.
Do you know it?
Pay attention.
My dear ladies and gentlemen,
I promise you that Hamburg
offers everything there is to be had
in the world of sex.
It does not matter
what your preferences are.
I got to work straight away.
So much to investigate there!
I ascertained that recently
Sadomasochism is getting
more en vogue.
There are even certain places
where you can get
“special treatment“.
I looked for the most well known
dominatrix in the city
and asked if I could interview her.
There she is. This type of woman is the
object of fantasy of all masochists.
Dressed head to toe in leather.
And a whip.
I am the bride of Satan.
I am proud to be the most
sought after sadist in the city.
How long have you been doing this?
I've been doing this 12 years now
and enjoying it.
Do you love your job?
I always wanted to torture men.
You wouldn't think so many want it.
It is a real responsibility
when you think about it.
All my clients
are absolutely satisfied.
That's what I hope anyway, so that
they will happily return time and again.
Do you think you are providing
a service to society?
My clients
are from the best circles in society.
Business people,
lawyers,
engineers,
even a government minister.
Here they can give
their fantasies free rein.
They get spiritually emancipated
and the beatings are a tonic
for a sick soul.
They lose their complexes.
And so they find peace,
especially through beatings.
They get on better with their fellow man.
It calms their nerves.
And also they get rid of
all their bad thoughts,
thoughts that directed at their family
and, worse, at society.
Could bode an abyss
and a rude awakening for the world.
How do you act with your clients?
Every single one of them requires
an individual therapy.
Do it with me.
Then you can judge for yourself.
So I did it too and soon found
a great liking for the business.
So, you stupid asshole!
There!
Keep his arms pressed to the floor.
Today, he will be
thoroughly worked over.
Stop whimpering
or you'll be sorry.
Stop it!
Stop it, I said!
You mangy dog,
I know what you need.
You like when I kick, don't you?
- Yes.
That turns you on, to feel my boots
on your ribs, yes? - Yes.
- Do you want more?
- Yes.
Then take it, you pig.
You! You son of a bitch.
Good for nothing! Pathetic pig!
I'll show you,
you wimp.
Cunt! Wretch!
Motherfucker! There!
Take that! And that!
Cool!
So! There!
Now, I will see if
you are a man at all.
So. Aha!
What do I see here?
A little floppy willy!
Go on.
Show that you're a man.
Get hard! Go on!
Otherwise I'll bust your balls.
Get hard!
You horny dog! I'll beat you.
So...
Behave like a wild thing, you pig.
Old swine!
You old heap of shit.
Hurry up and finish.
You are a shit. An ass!
That's cool.
I'm coming!
Pump me full, you horny pig!
Yes!
Do you also have clients who want release
in ways other than sadistic ones?
Naturally there are other ways.
The unusual ways
sound interesting. Tell us about an
exceptionally unusual case.
Yes,
“the baby of the family".
Please, mother, don't be angry.
Please, please forgive me.
I know I was terribly naughty
but please don't be angry with me.
I am so sorry.
From now on I will be good.
I deserve to be punished.
- At least you can appreciate that yourself.
Mother, do what you want with me.
- You do realize that you misbehaved.
You know you will be beaten? - Yes, mother.
- Understood?
Yes, mother. - Take off your pants.
- Yes, mother.
What's taking you so long? Hurry.
- I'm going as fast as I can.
Faster.
- Yes, mother. Don't be angry with me.
Do you deserve the punishment?
- Yes, mother, I deserve it.
That hurts. That hurts, mother.
You're hurting me!
Ow.
Yes, mother, that is so good.
Yes, mummy. Yes, mummy.
Mummy, yes, mummy.
Faster, I'm going to come.
Yes, mummy. Yes, darling mummy!
Yes, yes!
Yes, mama! Mummy, yes.
Mother...
Everything is fine now. Take my breasts.
You may suckle again.
Don't cry.
Yes, like that. That's good.
That's lovely.
You are a good boy really.
♪ Sleep, my little prince, sleep.
♪ Sleep, little Prince,
go to sleep.
♪ Go to sleep, go to sleep.
♪ Go to sleep, go to sleep.
That was only one example of many of the
therapies used by Madam Satan
to make her clients absolutely satisfied
as she herself said.
I became one of her most devoted pupils,
and believe me,
there was still an enormous amount of
new things to experience.
She gladly took me on in her practice
and even gave me a name,
one that should make me appear even
more appealing to clients.
I am the Bride of Lucifer.
But only,
to be able to show everything to you live.
Go, you old nag!
You lazy thing. Go!
Stupid old nag, go on go!
Lazy useless crap!
Forward!
- Run, you snail.
That's how to do it, child.
- Quick march. Now go!
Go! Gee up!
Gee up! You useless horse!
Come on, you old nag!
Get a move on.
Don't pretend to be tired.
Hup! Go! Gee up!
You're not doing it. Now go!
Come now, little one.
- Please, mistress. Please, no more.
Bullshit! Get a move on!
Go on, go on!
Gee up!
- Please, mistress, I really can't go on.
What kind of a slow old nag are you?
Are you angry at me?
- Yes. - Please don't be.
Are you happy at least that you
have such a strict mistress? - Yes?
Would you like be our small stallion
again soon? - Yes, mistress.
And now you are balanced and content,
aren't you? Yes.
And as tangible proof of that,
he gave me a generous tip.
Let's leave the world of intellectuals and
decadent sophisticates behind us.
Let's travel to Agoa,
a gorgeous, primitive island -
untouched by the outside world
where to this day ancient rituals
and the most beautiful erotic
traditional rituals take place.
The millionairess,
Sunella Parker, came with me.
We wanted to witness the marriage
of a native to a foreign sailor.
A simple
yet gripping ceremony.
As is the tradition, the virgin must be
deflowered by her godfather.
Only then may the groom
unite with her in body.
Erotically stimulating perfumes
greeted the wedding guests
as they arrived at evening time
to the wedding.
The ritual required not only
that they be witnesses
to the deflowering
by an experienced man,
but also that they may withdraw only
once the act of love-making by
the bride and groom
makes them groan with pleasure.
Then everyone should be satisfied
that the groom knows how
to fulfil his marital duties.
The ceremony begins.
He says that they may not be joined
until the godfather has
deflowered her.
Now, he says, that the godfather shall do it
with the greatest respect for the girl.
In any case, the godfather may not
derive pleasure from the deflowering.
That is not permissible.-
I feel sorry for him.
We leave the bridal couple
with the feeling
that they will be
obliviously happy.
How much more complicated
our continent is.
Nowadays,
people in the developed world
are trying to get back to simple ways
of experiencing lustful pleasure.
Masturbation.
In Amsterdam, I partook in an
intense course on masturbation.
I will now reconstruct
one of these hours,
so that, you dear viewer, can know
what I will submit to for your pleasure.
The man and women were shown not only
how to satisfy themselves properly
but also how to use
various devices to achieve this.
The next theme is called
“Erogenous Zones".
The most erogenous zones
of a penis
we shall call A, B and C.
When the driving force,
i.e. the masturbating hand,
is flexible in zone A but with a firm grip
on zone B glides back and forth in zone B
and this movement is maintained
in a rhythmic tempo
and the thumb
puts light pressure on C
and we achieve
the result S to the power of 2,
i.e. ejaculation,
something you otherwise only
experience through the mouth of a woman.
Understood?
Mr. Roemer, please come to the front.
Yes. - Please repeat
what I have just said.
Yes, I...
Something about sucking?
I thought as much.
For god's sake, what's the point
when you don't listen?!
You'll never learn to wank!
Take your place again, please.
- And pay more attention.
- Yes.
We're not children any more.
Now I want to see if you paid attention
at the class yesterday.
I can't wait.
Herr Fassbinding, come up to the front.
- Yes, Miss.
Can you recap yesterday's lesson
for your fellow pupils?
I refer to the theme “Sex without Coitus -
Theory and Practice...
For sex without coitus,
one needs two fingers.
You put the index finger and the thumb
at an angle of 20 degrees
and so this... back and forth.
- Demonstrate for us.
If you want...
Please.
Very good, Mr. Fassbinding.
Please face the class for your classmates
to see how well you can do it.
Correct, Mr. Fassbinding.
You are doing it perfectly.
Really.
Absolutely perfectly. - Thank you.
- See that, Mr. Roemer.
That's what is called a conscientious
model student.
Shame on you.
And you with the best of
natural abilities.
With a little skill,
you would be very satisfied.
Ah well... Enough of that.
Please take your place.
And thank you very much.
- I think the old girl is hot for him.
Roemer! Come here right now!
Stand up.
- To the front.
- Yes, Miss.
I would like to know
if you have finally understood
what sex without penetration is.
What was that with the fingers?
Explain to me
what one does with the penis.
Well...
The man takes two fingers,
and does this.
More or less.
Then you make a kind of bow.
And does this to it.
You must explain properly.
It comes down to a tenth of a millimetre,
to make an exact
angle of 20 degrees.
That is the essential thing...
What's that supposed to mean?!
- Pardon me, Miss.
I can't help it.
It's been doing that lately
every time you demonstrate
with your fingers.
No way!
That can't be true!
We want to learn how to masturbate
not get provoked over penile stunts.
Let's be serious.
Concentrate.
No!
- Ah! - Quiet now!
Pay attention.
The wrist stays relaxed.
The index finger and thumb form
an angle of exactly 20 degrees.
You work them over the penis.
The feeling that you generate
is fantastic when you do it so.
- Understood?
- Yes.
- Continue.
Sit down.
- Yes, Miss. - Rascal.
Now we come to the
masturbatory aids.
First off the so called
“Aerodynamic Bitch...
This lubricant goes with this.
You put this on the penis.
It makes the penis sensitive and
able to glide in easily.
We then put the penis in here.
Using this balloon, the air which was in
the glass, is removed.
The penis grows bigger
in a vacuum.
Got all that?
- Yes.
- Good.
Mr. Roemer. Come here.
Don't worry, come on.
Yes, Miss.
Hold that for a moment, please.
I will demonstrate the "Aerodynamic Bitch"
if you like.
First take about 10 grams
of lubricant.
Rub it onto the penis
until it is smooth and sensitive,
and erect also.
Yes, that's fine.
I'll show you something special.
The "Tiffany Grip".
A rhythmic movement with the grip
that makes every penis enlarge.
You can bet on that.
We'll be learning that
in one of the next lessons.
That's really good.
- Quiet.
- It's still good.
Sure, Mr. Roemer. You're improving.
Thank you, Miss.
- Look at this.
Erect. There is only the
Tiffany Grip to thank.
Give that to me.
Now the penis is inserted.
Perfect.
Now you must
pump all the air from the glass.
I'll show you.
Notice how the penis continues
to get bigger and stiffer.
Due to the vacuum
it gets more and more erect.
An interesting device, isn't it?
- Yes.
Miss, I am about to come.
- Alright. We'll stop.
It's a wonderful tool, isn't it?
Yes.
Now we turn out attention to one of the
most important developments
in the world of sex -
the blow-up doll.
She's quiet
and never out of sorts.
An ideal woman in many relationships.
Dear students, this woman
has more to offer than you think.
Look here:
Ideal for oral sex.
No real woman has breasts like that.
Soft labia.
And there's an opening to the rear.
The second hole.
Mr. Fassbinding, please come here.
Sure, Miss.
- Let's try it.
Put your penis in
firmly in hole No.2.
Understood? - OK?
- I'll help you.
You have to raise the legs.
Now you have the right angle.
That's perfect.
Legs up.
- Hold firmly.
- She is unruly.
I don't think she wants to.
- It depends on the angle.
I can't find the opening.
It's in front of you. Put it in fully.
- Yes, Miss.
She likes that. That's right.
Now we've got it.
You've doing it very well.
One, two. One, two...
Look how beautifully she smiles.
One, two. One, two...
This lady is always ready to be taken
and is getting more popular.
You have seen only one of
the possibilities for her uses here.
Enough of vigorous sex for today.
The women shouldn't be sold short.
Ms Ellis, please come to the front.
- Excuse me.
- Gladly.
Yesterday we practised
sex without coitus for women.
Could you demonstrate?
Dampen 2 fingers with spit.
Then,
you part your legs like this.
Sensitively massage
the labia and the clitoris.
Like this.
Until you can't take it anymore.
Only then, put your fingers inside you.
- Deeply.
- Well done.
Now the "Customizable Penis".
Show how it's handled.
It's easy.
The penis in one hand
and the pump in the other.
- Correct?
Yes.
Look at the size of it.
- Yes. Very adaptable.
This thing is great.
Getting more interesting all the time.
- Quiet!
- Why suddenly so nasty?
He's right.
Yes, it can be enlarged
to suit every preference.
Great.
- A remarkable object.
Show it to me, please.
- Divine.
- Yes, yes...
Thank you. You can return to your place.
And today, something exceptional.
The well known Sunella Parker
is here and
will tell us about an interesting
way of pleasuring yourself.
This is found only in the Far East.
Can you come to the front, Sunella?
With pleasure.
I will demonstrate to you how the
Dervish pleasure themselves.
This method is employed
all over the Middle East.
It's best I demonstrate it for you.
The highest level of concentration
and physical relaxation is required.
Without being touched,
the body achieves orgasm
through the power of erotic thoughts.
I prefer the customizable penis.
That doesn't matter to me. I shall show you
how I can experience an orgasm
using particular erotic images.
I need absolute silence.
I have to conjure up
erotic fantasies in my mind.
Yes, there they are.
Do you see?
I have orgasmed.
The power of the mind.
- Bravo!
Marvelous.
And so we finish the hour for today.
- I protest!
I strenuously protest.
What about me?
You're only concerned with
totally normal men and women.
In fact there is
a third sex.
True?
Shouldn't you think of us, too?
We also want something
to satisfy us.
We have thought of that as well.
It was intended for a later lesson
but why not do it today?
Don't be impatient.
I have something very special
that will certainly satisfy you.
Please.
- Oh that's so sweet.
The "All-Purpose Penis".
Would you like to try it?
- Now?
- Oh yes.
Yes?
Then let's see
if you can stand it.
Lovely. Oh yes..
Beautiful...
Thus everyone gets their end away.
For some richer experiences, I flew
direct from Amsterdam to the Orient.
The practices of the Dervishes
has fascinated me.
I wanted to explore
this world which is so unknown to us.
The secrets of this ancient place
are kept to this day
from the eyes of westerners
and concealed
in the tents of the Arabian Nights.
Should your path
ever lead you to the Orient
and if one day it is possible for you
to step on the threshold
of this impenetrable land,
then you too will learn
the wonder of chaste love.
It has happened to me.
And so, dear viewer,
our porno program has come to an end.
I hope this broadcast has made you horny.
Like it has me. So how was it?
Do it with me.
I want to try some crazy stuff
by the next broadcast.
Whoever is into that,
contact the broadcaster immediately.
I am waiting.
No matter if you're man or woman,
or both.
Ciao!