I'm a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here! (2002) - full transcript

MUSIC: 'Rocks'
by Primal Scream

# Get your rocks off
Get your rocks off, honey

# Shake 'em now-now
Get 'em off downtown... #

Welcome to the jungle!

VOICEOVER:

It's the gift
that just keeps on giving.

You bite the shaft!

IN AUSSIE ACCENT: We've got spiders
the side of dinner plates.

God, it was terrifying.

People saw our relationship develop.

I mean, they're very sexy guys.



Get the old make-up and wardrobe on.
We're not in there long.

I like everything about it,
other than the title.

Title's awful. That'll have
to change. That's got to change.

Oh...
It's nearly in her brain.

THEY RETCH
You can't tell them!

BOTH: "You can't tell them!"

Did you get it?
No, I didn't get it!

50 spiders.
Oh, my God.

THEY CHOKE AND LAUGH

SHE SCREAMS

Can you believe this year
is gonna be our 20th series

of I'm A Celebrity
Get Me Out Of Here?

I can't believe it,
it's gone by quickly.

It doesn't feel like 20 series.



No, it doesn't.
Now, it's sad that this year

we're not gonna be in Australia.
It's very sad.

We're gonna be in Wales doing it.

Yeah, which should be good.
Should be fun.

It'll be different. Yeah.
But it'll be fun.

Do you remember when they pitched us
the show for the first time?

I remember it clearly,
sat in the boardroom... Yeah.

...of our management offices
and they started talking about

this TV show
set in the Australian jungle.

And they had loads of pictures
of Australia.

Loads of pictures of trees.
Yeah. And jungle.

It was very green. We were like,
"Yep, another green tree."

Yeah, that's good, but just
getting quite excited about it.

Yeah. I remember thinking this could
be brilliant or it could be awful.

I did think, though, at the time,
that the title was too long...

Yeah... and a bit silly.
Yeah. And that it would change.

Yeah, we thought,
the title'll change.

It just sounded... Well, it sounded
ridiculous. It sounded silly.

I thought, "We can't...
We can't say those words."

Cut to us saying it every night...
Every night... on the bridge,

"Get me out of here!"
THEY LAUGH

ON SCREEN: 'In a few hours' time,

'eight of Britain's
best-loved celebrities

'will arrive
right here in this camp.'

'It's a world away
from what they're used to but...'

They're baggy trousers, aren't they?
ANT LAUGHS

Were those yours or your dad's?

'..Live on ITV1
and ask you to decide their fate.'

'Who will make it? Who will crack
and who will be the first to cry?'

BOTH: "l'm a celebrity,
get me out of here!"

We're in the camp!

Where were they, then?

That was obviously a pre-recorded...
Oh, look. Oh, no.

'So, this is it, this is camp.'

God, it looks horrible.

Ah, muddy, innit?
What are you wearing?!

'The only way out is via the paths,

'but as you can see,
there's no shelter,

'so each one of them
will be sleeping with the stars

'in more ways than one.'

'It's all part of the test.

'If it rains, our celebrities
and the beds are gonna get drenched

'and there's not a lot
they can do about it.'

Yeah, it was all very,
kind of, primitive, season one.

But we were on prime time.
THEY LAUGH

That's what we wanted.
And we were in Australia.

This was, "Prime time, guys,
we've gone prime time."

What are you doing here?

Doing one of our final checks

for any of the nasties
that are around here.

This one was found in the camp.
DEC LAUGHS NERVOUSLY

ANT LAUGHS
Nervous laugh.

It's a female python.
You wanna have a go?

'Erm...'
Have a go?!

THEY LAUGH,
HE IMITATES PARTY BLOWER

'..like that.'
'That looks nice.'

'Just like that and just
hang onto her, nice and relaxed.'

ANT LAUGHS
'I'm so not relaxed.'

Walking round the camp
for the very first time,

I mean, we were scared anyway
by talking to people,

you know, in the cars.
Karen.

Karen! Yeah, Karen.
I remember Karen.

Talked to us all the time
about what could kill you.

She just... She just wanted
to frighten us.

IN AUSSIE ACCENT: "We've got spiders
the size of dinner plates,

"the size of dustbin lids."
Dustbin lids, I remember.

"They'lljump on your neck."

"You wanna watch out
for the cassowary,

"it's bigger than an ostrich

"and it's got a hook on its arm
that'll rip your gizzards out."

Was this in the show?
It's very long and quite boring.

THEY LAUGH
Was this on the telly? Oh, my God.

Get to the celebs, Ant and Dec!

I mean, we don't do any long, boring

educational videos like that
anymore, thank goodness.

No, that's true. It's like something
you see at school.

'So, who are the crazy eight
who've taken on the challenge?

'Well, let's find out.'

How many of the first lot
can you remember?

Right, erm...

Tara Palmer-Tomkinson.

Tony Blackburn.
Tony Blackburn. Darren Day.

Yep.
Uri Geller.

Rhona Cameron.
Rhona Cameron. Nigel Benn.

Christine Hamilton.
Yes, that's seven. One more.

Nell McAndrew.
Nell McAndrew!

And we had standbys in those days.

Keith Chegwin, just in case
anybody pulled out,

and they never did.
And he never got on.

He never got on,
he just hung around the hotel.

With his camcorder.

With his camcorder
filming the cassowary.

Yeah, he did.

Ah... Goodness rest him.
Poor Keith Chegwin.

Oh, my God, it's minute!
It's so cute! I love it!

'When we got into the camp,
I just thought how small it was.'

And none of the beds were made up,
or anything like that

and thought, "How on earth
are we going to do that?"

So, what's that?

What, in there?
OK.

N0... They had to build their own
toilet, I don't remember that.

Why make it...? Why make it so big?

That's huge. It's not...

Look how big!
THEY LAUGH

This is good.

Do you remember when we went
in the camp one day

and Uri Geller was there

and he was the director
of a football club, was it?

Exeter, I think.

Exeter City Football Club
and they were in the FA Cup

and he said to us,
"How did Exeter do in the cup?"

And we went, "We can't tell you,

"you know we can't tell you
anything about the outside."

He went, "Don't worry,
I will read your mind."

And he looked at us squarely
in the eyes and he goes like this,

"Ugh... Yes!" Like that.

And he went, "Thank you, thank you."
They'd lost 2-0.

THEY LAUGH

Everybody gather round the fire,
now, please!

I've just been down
to the bush telegraph.

This is what it says, "Christine,
you are the leader for today.

"The leader..." Do listen, Darren,
I'm not repeating this.

No, please listen, sweethearts.

Nothing really happened
for a few days. Nah.

Nothing really... Until
Rhona Cameron had a rant. Yeah.

The thing is, Rhona,
I find you quite patronising.

Series one was only two weeks.

It wasn't three weeks
like it is now. Yeah.

It was only two weeks and that rant
was, like, five days in.

Oh, my God. So that's...
Five days in and she went that mad.

That's how they'd got in five days.
Yeah.

Incredible.

Oh, my God.

I don't wanna discuss it,
shut up and just leave me alone.

TONY: Our lot didn't get on well
together, it was as simple as that

and it got quite nasty,
it did get very nasty.

Did I say anything about you?

'When you was talking
about the bible, '

"We don't want none of that crap,"
I don't want none of your crap!

Oh, shut up.

Yeah, I remember
it really started to warm up

and then people started
to find the show

and I suppose it did become
like a real-life soap opera.

And it was because of that,
because of the conflict.

Yeah. The conflict, then the
love story between Darren and Tara.

It's compelling, isn't it?
It is, it's good. It's a great show.

This'll run and run.
This could run for 20 years.

Good night.
Night.

'You are an absolute star, you are.'

If I had to stay with
one person here, it would be you.

I will not make this effort ever,
ever again. Finished!

Finished!

Brilliant. It had it all,
series one.

It really did. Didn't it?
Rows, romance, romantic rows.

THEY LAUGH

This just starting to unfold
before our eyes was, like,

"God, this is more
than we ever expected."

Yeah. We just wanted to strip
them back to the bare essentials

and see how they coped.

Mmm.
Didn't expect any of this.

I have loved I'm A Celebrity from
the very, very, very first series.

I'd never seen
a bunch of celebrities

put into that situation before.

Just shut up!

King of the Jungle is Tony.

Oh, well done. Good for you.

THEY LAUGH
Suits?! Suits in the jungle?

'It's so unexpected.'

Obviously, people saw something
in me that, erm, they liked,

I don't know,
I'm very grateful to it,

but I've got no idea why I won.

You're the King Of The jungle,
get yourself out of here!

There's still the fireworks, look.
Yeah, fireworks, look.

Watching that back,
that reminds me, at the time,

all the text messages we got
were people saying,

"You're not really there,
it's green screen."

Yeah, my sister said she heard
a phone-in on the local radio

in Newcastle saying that, erm,

we definitely weren't in Australia
because somebody saw me

in a Porsche on the A1
just outside Newcastle.

But you've got
a very common face, though.

I have a common face,
but I don't have a Porsche.

And I didn't then.

It was brilliant, wasn't it?
I mean, it was...

Do you know what was brilliant
was we went out there

not really knowing
what we were doing

and the show we were gonna make
and then two and a half weeks later

we came home and it was
a massive, massive hit.

Yeah. It hasn't looked back,
the show, since then.

Wouldn't it be wonderful
just to get back to basics,

lie out in the open air?

You can! You can do that
whenever you like.

My reaction when I got the call
asking me to do this show

was, erm,
"Well, I've never seen it, I dunno."

I'd heard, you know,
it was quite hard and I thought,

"Well, no, I don't know if I could
handle that, really, at my age,

"might be a bit much for me,"
you know?

When you get the phone call
to be asked to do it,

you are so flattered.

It's one of the biggest shows
on television

and you get the call and you go,
"What do you me on there for?"

I kept saying to my manager, "l'd
really love to do I'm A Celebrity."

He'd go, "There is no way.
It would be career disaster,

"you are not doing it", but behind
the scenes I was like, "Please!"

I don't think I've ever cried
so much in my life

as when I got the phone call to say,
"Scarlett, you will be on

"l'm A Celebrity
Get Me Out of Here."

I was like,
"No, this can't be real life!"

It was, I think, the third
or fourth time I'd been approached

and I'd always turned it down,

but this time I said yes, because
I was re-doing Castle Goring

and I needed the money
to help to pay for the roof.

I had never seen the show,
knew nothing about it,

I was honoured to be called
a celebrity.

When I started to tell, like,
some of my close friends

that I'm gonna be going on the show,
they started telling me,

"Ah, it's gonna be so hard,
don't do this, don't do that."

So, yeah, three clays
before flying out to Australia,

I decided to cancel
me going on the show

and then I had the head of ITV come
to my office

and reassured me
that it's gonna be fine.

They sell it well,
they do sell it well.

You almost can't really say no.

If you need to do a reality show,

the big one is definitely, by far
probably the biggest reality show,

so I thought, "That's very nice
for them to ask me, so let's do it."

You know, when I got off the plane,

there was a security guy there
with a chaperone, Tina,

and people
would come up to me and say,

"What you doing here?" You know?

They'd look at Tina
and thought that's not Sandra,

he's obviously out here
with someone else, you know?

I can't tell them what she's doing
with me either, you know.

One of my favourite things
is physically getting them

into the jungle, doing the Walk-In.
Yeah. Show one.

And it's kind of evolved
over the years, as well, hasn't it?

It's become bigger as the years
have gone on.

The first year, they literally
did just walk in, down a hill.

Didn't they, though? just walked
down a bank and they were in there.

And I guess that's...
Now, it's gone ridiculous, man.

They skydive,
they walk along a plank.

They kayak down rivers
and across lakes,

but it's really evolved
over the years.

I remember back in the day,

it used to just be
the campmates walking in,

just casually, "Oh, here we are,
let's set up camp."

And now it's like
a Hollywood blockbuster.

Argh!

SHE SCREAMS

Hey, ho! Hello!

Ahoy, there!
TOGETHER: Hi!

This is Ant and Dec. Fill me in,
Ant and Dec are...?

THEY LAUGH

Well, it was, yeah, it was strange,
you know, suddenly, you got...

It was the first time that you meet
the people are in there,

cos you're wondering who's in there,

you've got no idea
who's gonna be in the programme.

All right, I'm being kitted out,
so you can bugger off.

You get a sense of the celebs
on the walk-in.

Aye, you do. You get
some good moments along the way.

Guys, I'm really scared.

Is it a terrible time to say
I'm petrified of garden parties?

LAUGHTER

How you feeling?

'I know what to expect,
but I don't...' Good mates.

Yeah, I think maybe
we should expect the unexpected.

Yeah. Remind me that one.

I'm BEEP myself.
Just enjoy it.

No, can you stop a minute?
I'm being serious, stop.

I need to get out, honestly...

You need to get out?
Yeah, I'm gonna be sick.

Ah...

'I'm not going in this, no way.'

That was only the helicopter.
Yeah, I know!

When you're in the helicopter
on the way to the jungle...

PILOT:

...for me, that was one of them
pinch-me moments

where I was like,
"l've seen this shot before."

Have you got any sickness tablets?

When the theme tune comes on...

We must be going to the jungle.

You sort of see all the trees
and it's like,

"Oh, there's no going back now."
Like, "This is it."

BOTH: Horses?!
When did we have horses?

Oh, James.
You're doing so well.

SHE SCREAMS

"Out on the floating pontoon is
a locked chest with a bell in it."

"You are about to race
across the island

"to reach a boat moored
on the other side."

You ready?

This is not like a pedalo.

You've gotta jump out of these.

Are you scared?

Are you OK?
Yes.

No, you're not.
No, I am.

Are you sure?
Mm-hm.

A little emotional right now?
I am, I am.

I was a little bit scared,
I'm not gonna lie

and I thought, "God, what happens
if the parachute don't open?"

I didn't realise
helicopters went up that high.

You know, we were above the clouds
and I thought, "Oh, God."

I'm scared.

He said,
"Put your legs out the door,"

and then you realise that you're
at the point of no return.

This is what it's all about.
The I'm A Celebrity skydive. Yes!

I've said my whole life
I would never do a skydive, ever.

Oh, my God! Oh!

God, it was... Yeah, terrifying.

SHE SCREAMS

Backwards?! I don't remember them
going out backwards.

'W0w!'
Steve Davis.

Look at his face. Wobbly face.

Whoo-hoo!

Oh, landed in the car park.

I think landing was the rush.
You think, "Phew!"

We're alive!

They get up there,
they're all really nervous in there,

they all get down and go, "lt was so
exhilarating, it was so thrilling."

"The best thing I've ever done!"

It's just a wave of relief.

It's probably the thrill,
"l'm not dead! This is brilliant!"

DEC LAUGHS

God, he walks fast.

This is the camp, darling.

The minute you get into camp, you
look at it and it's just so surreal.

It's "This is the thing
I've watched for years

"and now I'm actually in it."

My God, that is pretty basic, innit?

It's very, very basic.

You don't have any of the luxuries
that you'd normally have.

You don't have bars of soap,
you don't have, you know, food.

You know, you just don't really
have anything at your disposal.

Oh, my God, Doug, there's a snake.

It's just ate the rat.

Oh, let's have a look.
My God, look at the size of it.

There's spiders and snakes
and rats around you.

That's the joy of it.

There's a dirty dunny
that you've gotta sit on.

That's the joy of it.
That's not the joy of it!

It is! That's what you want!

The joy is an en suite
and fluffy robes, that's a joy.

Get back to basics...
Slippers, free slippers.

...sleeping in the open air.
No, no, no, hotel slippers.

What?!

I never wear hotel slippers.
Always!

You steal them.
I've seen your house.

Yeah!
There's a basketful.

DEC CHUCKLES
They're for visitors.

Ah... This is when
it's at its worst. Nah.

My bed, which I've just moved into
today, is completely underwater.

It has puddles of water in it.

LAUGHS IN SHOCK

Jesus!

I went about three days
without having a shower,

cos I just thought,
"lt's just pointless."

It's absolutely freezing.

Aw, you know, like,
I really need to go,

but if I sit on that toilet,
I can't bear the smell.

To me, the hardest thing
about camp life is the dunny.

Like, you just can't have a poo
in peace.

I've just had about 20 beans
all day.

No wonder I'm BLEEP starving.

My friends were saying to me,
"You must get food on the sly."

I said, "No, you don't get no food.

"You only get food
when you win food."

Wow!

Promises so much
and delivers so little. Yep.

You have squab.

What's squab, Larry? Anyone?

Oh, my God,
it's literally a full squab.

Eurgh. Oh, I can't look at...
HE RETCHES

Silky chickens...

Ooh, they're black.
What?!

It's tough, innit?
It's hard, yeah.

It's hard. There's no denying it.

I do look at them sometimes,
and I am jealous,

because I think,
wouldn't it be wonderful

just to get back to basics,
lie out in the open air...

Y... You can!
No, I...

You can do that whenever you like!

No, but it's just...

Don't drag me into
your hare-brained schemes.

But there's no mobile phones,
no communication, just you...

I mean,
getting on with other people,

I don't like the idea of.
Yeah.

That's what would get on me nerves.

But I do think...
part of the real difficulty is

that they're just there alone
in their own thoughts,

and sometimes, that's
a really tricky place to be.

Oh, yeah, now you've said it
like that...

I don't wanna be along
with me own thoughts.

Get me out of here!
DEC LAUGHS

Oh!
It's nearly at her brain!

ANT LAUGHS
Take your goggles off, you fool.

Eurghg

I hate rats.

It's round my neck, guys.
ANT: Yeah.

It's gonna strangle me, I know it.

Where the hell is this button?
HE SCREAMS

HE RETCH ES

Do you feel sorry for them
when they do Bushtucker Trials?

Sometimes.

Not often, though.
Not often. Nah.

Not often. But sometimes.
Cos that's... For me,

that's what you signed up for.
Yeah.

You know, you've gotta give it a go.

The thing is,
when you're doing the trials,

in my head I think, "Well, I will
never, ever have the opportunity,

"you know, to do this again."

'Well, the trials are a very
important part of the show now.'

I don't remember being told
about them before I went in.

It was...
It was a massive surprise to me.

Perhaps the others were told.
I didn't know anything about them.

So, the first-ever trial...

Yes? ..was Tara Palmer-Tomkinson
under a tree.

I remember it.

SHE SQUEALS
Can I get back in?

Yean, yeah, yeah. Go on. Go on.
Go on, get back in, it's all right.

Is that one meal?
Yeah, that's one. Well done.

She kept avoiding it, as well.
Yeah, she kept moving forward.

SHE SQUEALS
There you are!

No! No, I hate this.
Do you wanna get out? No!

'Go round the other side.
Do you want me to pull them?'

Yes! Do it.
Right. Step back in.

What am I doing, getting involved?
Yeah!

Step back, and I'll pull it.
SHE SCREAMS

THEY LAUGH
'What is it, what is it?'

'There they are.'
Pff, it stinks.

Jump out. Well done.
Congratulations.

Come here, come here!
Here, here, here, here!

Here's your towel.
Here's your towel. You do it.

The trials in those early clays
were pretty basic, weren't they?

Nigel Benn.

Sat under a tree.
Sat under a tree for the night.

INSECTS CHIRP

'Alone in the pitch black,
this trial is a test of nerve...'

WHISPERS: Stay with me, God.
Guide me.

HE LAUGHS
He's just sat under a tree!

That's it!

And this was prime time telly.
DEC LAUGHS

There he is. Middleweight boxer,
sat under a tree.

We wouldn't get away with this now,
would we? No.

FAST-PACED BANJO MUSIC
Oh!

The show has grown from
the beginning to where it is now.

If you go back and look
at some of the older footage...

Where am I?
..It's harder now,

and no offence,
cos people will be...

who are watching it
who were in the earlier casts...

y'all had it easy!

Seven stars, congratulations.
Everybody eats tonight!

I think our attitudes
have changed, as well.

Yeah, they have.
19 series in...

Yeah... that we used to be
very kind of stand-offish with them

and very matter of fact.
Yeah.

Quite fair,
but we're not helping,

and now, we have a...

We're slightly more evil
with them now.

I think what it was
was Paul Burrell.

Watching Paul Burrell's
Hell Holes Trial,

when we blatantly laughed
in his face

cos we couldn't
keep the laugh in any longer,

things changed from there.

That was the first trial
we ever laughed in. Yeah.

DRAMATIC MUSIC

Ah! Ah!

Ahh! Ahh!

HE LAUGHS
Look at us turning away,

trying not to laugh.

HE WHIMPERS

Oh-ah, ah, ah, ah!
Be methodical.

You've gone again!
PAUL WHIMPERS

'Come on, you can get this.'

Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah..
Just to your right.

It's rats!
It's rats!

It's rats.
It is, it is rats. That's right.

Nice and slowly, Paul.
Oh, my God!

Ah, ah...

Ah, move over, darling.
Move over.

You can see, as well,
that we're kind of like

two naughty schoolkids,
knowing that we shouldn't

laugh at them...
But it's funny.

...but we could not help ourselves.

Take it easy, take it easy,
take it easy...

AH! AH!
You've done it.

Well done.
You've done it.

You've done it!
Yes!

Fantastic, congratulations.
Congratulations.

DEC LAUGHS
Oh! Are you all right?

Are you OK?

Good luck, Gillian.

HUGH:

Oh... Oh!

ANT LAUGHS
She's off.

She's away. She's away.

And she's gone!

Jeremy, if you can just
hold the legs.

I think she might have been being
a little bit naughty

and a bit dramatic... but I love it!

I'll do it, I don't mind,
I don't mind.

OK...

Er, I think it's best
if we go to a break right now...

Yes... and give Gillian
the attention she needs.

We'll find out if she can do it
after the break.

THEY LAUGH
'See you in a few minutes.'

Find out? She's got an oxygen mask
on her mouth.

You're all heart.
ANT LAUGHS

"We'll find out
if she can do the trial..."

IMITATES BREATHING OXYGEN
"l don't think she can, Ant."

"Clear!" Boof!
"We'll find out if she can do it

"after the break." Boof!

"Ant, I don't think she's got
much of a chance!"

For medical reasons,

Gillian will not be taking part
in the live trial tonight.

That was a very bizarre moment
in our TV career.

The thing was, we had
so many contingency plans.

We did!
We didn't...

The only contingency plan
we didn't have

was if Gillian faints
live on camera. Yeah.

Didn't plan for that.
We did not plan for that.

For a "faint"!

What a weird situation to be in.
ANT LAUGHS

You've got cockroaches, here.

Ahh, yes.
'Roughly 7,500 of them.'

Eurgh!
Fatima Whitbread!

KLAXON
30 seconds.

'Oh, you can see it going up there!'

Oh.

I never noticed that before.

I remember thinking, "Oh, my God,
what am gonna do here now?

"L've gotta stay like this
for a minute.

"Do I pull the chain
and release myself

"and that would be game over?"

There was no way
that I was gonna do that.

Ten seconds.

BLOWS THROUGH NOSE
It's up me nose.

Eurghg

'Five, four, three...'
Eurgh!

...two, one. Time's up!
Let's get her out.

'Eurgh! Brrr.'
Well done, Fatima.

Eurgh!
SHE BLOWS THROUGH NOSE

Oh!
It's nearly in her brain.

It's gone... It's up.
SHE COUGHS AND RETCHES

I could feel his furry little legs
there.

It's still up there, I can feel it.
SHE RETCHES

It was very uncomfortable
and very unsettling,

but, at the same time,
I just thought,

"There's no point getting upset."

SHE COUGHS AND RETCHES

You know, sometimes,
those little critters just...

know where they wanna go.

WET SQUELCHING THROUGH NOSE

There it is.

Look at that.
There it... There it was!

'Bloody beetle...'
Our faces!

Ha-ha-ha!

I told you.

I know my own nose.

That went on for a long time,
didn't it?

She insisted
there was something up there.

00f!

At the back of your mind,
you think, "This is great telly."

HE LAUGHS

It did come out,
and didn't last long,

and I have to show you this...

because I... kept him
and had him waxed,

and he's, erm,
quite comfortably sitting in there.

LB, I call him. Cos, at the time,
he was a little bastard.

SHE LAUGHS

Good old Eating Trial.
Never gets old, does it?

FiSh eye!

SHE GAGS,
RETCH ES

THEY LAUGH

IMm, --‘

uNor

I've gotta chew it smaller.

The Eating Trials are
one of our favourites,

they're the audience's
favourite trial of the series.

They just give you so much.
They... They just give.

DRAMATIC MUSIC

WOMAN: It's in, it's in!
It's in, it's in.

A kangaroo penis.

THEY LAUGH

Good, great... Oh!
The worst bit...

"Ahh!" Showing me an empty mouth.
Yeah.

Who tells them to do that?
The producers told them to do that.

I don't wanna see it.
Horrible.

Get your dirty old testicle mouths
away.

What the hell is that?

That is a crocodile penis.

Oh, no, no.

You have to bite the shaft.
You bite the shaft!

THEY LAUGH

"You bite the shaft!"

My name is Janice Dickinson,
but I'm not gonna eat croc dick.

What the hell was that?

It was horrible.

The smell!

You just can't let it affect you.

How did you feel when they said
Caitlyn Jenner was doing the show?

I was shocked. I had
to pick my jaw up off the floor.

'I talked to my kids.'

Kendall goes, "Why are you
doing that?

"You're too old for that."

And I go, "Well, now I'm doing it,
baby.

"I'll show you
what this girl can do."

SHE SCREAMS

She got stuck in, as well.
Yeah, she did.

She didn't just turn up, and
she was like, "Oh, I'm, you know..."

She did the trials.
"l'm Caitlyn, I don't do that."

She was...
There was no diva about her.

Nah, not at all.
Got stuck in.

Shut your eyes, you know,
and just do the task.

KLAXON

There we go. Ten minutes now.
'Ah...'

Helen Flanagan.
SHE SCREAMS

I'm a celebrity,
get me out of here, now!

'W0w.'
'How many seconds was that?'

Look at your face!
DEC LAUGHS

Look at your face!
It was less than...

it was less than five seconds.

Seriously, I do try my best.
I don't wanna let the camp down...

Well, you didn't, did you?
I'm really, really trying, but...

You're not.
You're not.

I got in the camp, got in the... No.

Can I get this? Yeah?

Yeah?
Grab the bulb and pull it down.

You have to pull the bulb off,
Helen. That's it.

Pull it down.
Got it.

Look for the stars.

I'm a celebrity,
get me out of here, now!

OK, let's get her out of there.

Yeah, annoyed. Annoyed.
Annoyed faces.

I didn't realise
it was gonna go dark!

Oh, my God.

Oh, I wish I could have gone
back in there now.

Well, you can't.
We'd lost patience by this point.

Yeah.
KLAXON

Go on! Oh, for God's sake,
I don't wanna do it. I'm sorry.

I'm really freaking out here.
Please let me out.

I'm really freaking out.
You sure?

Yeah, I'm sorry,
I really, really wanna go out now.

I think it's because
it's my fifth trial.

I mean, I know it's only, like,
mealworms or whatever,

but it's just...
it's really, really working me up.

OK.
All right, Helen.

'Yeah, I'm sorry.'
Goodbye. We're off to play golf.

HE LAUGHS

That wasn't her fifth trial,
cos she'd done, like,

three and a half seconds
of one trial.

That's not...
And passed on three of them.

That's not a trial.
You haven't done five trials.

You haven't done five trials.
That's a... That's...

You've looked at five trials.

DEC CHUCKLES
You've been at five trials.

Remember we saw Helen Flanagan
at an airport... Yeah.

"At London Airport,
at baggage reclaim.

Yes.
And she was with her daughter?

Yeah. And she was like, "Look..."
whatever the daughter's name was,

"there's the two men
that made Mummy's life a misery."

She genuinely said that.

She did, to her child!
To her baby daughter.

It's not how I'd like to be known.
SHE RETCHES

WHISPERS: This is
the I'm A Celebrity studio,

and Ant and Dec are rehearsing
for their next live show.

221 celebrities
have been inside this jungle.

I'm one of them, and trust me,

Ant and Dec make your life
an absolute misery.

It's time we got a little bit
of revenge. Come on.

...really put a smile on their faces.
Well, everybody needs a lift.

Here's TV's Joel Dommett,
what's he doing? Hello, Joel.

Hey, guys.
Hi.

Sorry to interrupt your rehearsal.
That's fine.

Feels odd, doesn't it?
What the hell do you want?

It does feel very odd.
What's going on?

Now, everyone always says that
you should do a Bushtucker Trial...

Ah...
Yes, they do.

You've always said
you'll never do it...

Yes?
We did The Cyclone.

We did do The Cyclone.
That doesn't count.

That's like a day out
at a waterpark, OK?

Argh!
That does not count at all.

Right...
And I think it's time

that, maybe...
you stood up to the challenge

and you did a Bushtucker Trial.
How do you feel about that?

A proper one?
Nobody wants to see us do that?!

CREW:

I mean... I think everyone
wants to see you do that.

If I'm honest, I'd rather not.
JOEL LAUGHS

You don't really have, you know,
a choice.

OK, I'll do it. Yeah, let's do it.
What are you doing?

Let's do it!
See, he's in.

I'm not sure about this.
JOEL LAUGHS

I feel pressurised into doing this.

OK, let's... let's do this.
You ready for it?

Guys, we will see you
in the Bushtucker Trial clearing

very shortly.
Oi, that's my line!

That's what we say!
We say that. We say that!

I'm so excited!
THEY LAUGH

Oh, man!

It's quite a trek, innit?

Further than I thought.
I know!

Didn't realise any of this existed.
This is like a trial in its...

Ooh, it's slippy, mind.

It's nerve-wracking.
It really is.

'Cos we don't know what's in store.

'This is how the celebrities feel.'
'YeahJ

I feel like it's payback.
I feel like we've got away with it

for so long that they're just
gonna throw everything at us.

Good luck, Ant, you'll be great.
You'll do great.

Do it for camp.
Bring back the stars.

Bring back stars, yeah.
We're hungry.

And you, and you.

Why have we agreed?
Why have we just turned up

and got into these clothes?
Why did we say yes?

They didn't wrestle us and put us
in these clothes, we got into them.

It's series 20 this year,
so it's kind of...

We've gotta do it.
No, we don't.

We do. We kind of do, really.
No, we don't!

We've made other people do it,
we've gotta do it.

I'm thinking
ofjust making a run for it.

At least we can look the celebrities
in the eye from now on and say...

In their fish eyes.
..we've done it. We've done it.

When they say, "Would you do..."
We've done it.

We haven't done anything yet!
Let's see...

Let's see what happens.
ANT LAUGHS

DEC CHUCKLES
Don't... Don't even look at me.

Hey.
Don't even look at me, Joel.

JOEL LAUGHS

Are you all happy now?
Yes. Yeah?

I think everyone is.
CREW CHEER

Welcome to the Bushtucker Trial
clearing...

Thanks, Joel (!)
"not for the first time.

No, it's not.
How are you both feeling?

I'm almost paralysed with fear.
THEY LAUGH

Years and years and years
that we've tortured celebs

and laughed at them doing it,
and it's payback, innit?

It really is.

Guys, you're gonna be facing
three Bushtucker Trials today.

Ah...
Three?!

Three classic Bushtucker Trials.
Three?!

And, in each round, you will be
trying to collect stars for camp.

Right.
By camp, I mean...

it doesn't represent
anything at all, really.

I mean, I honestly don't know
why you're doing it.

I mean, this is the thing.

Tonight, back at the hotel,
it's steak night. It's steak night.

So we've got that
to look forward to.

So we could really go without.
Why are we doing this?

There is no reason.

This is your chance
to prove to the entire nation

that you've got what it takes.

Or bottle it. Ha-ha!

Get on with it, Joel!
I never see you this quiet, Dec.

I never see you this quiet.
Paralysed with fear.

Oh, OK. Here we go. It's so hard
to not do it in your voice.

ANT AND DEC LAUGH

So wonderful.

Round one is called
To Catch A Falling Star.

Oh, no.
It's all in the name.

You obviously know it.

You literally have to catch
a falling star.

Now, of course...
This is the Bushtucker Trial,

so the star will be...
Hey! This is me today, Ant!

This is me!
Don't you dare cut me off!

THEY LAUGH

This is a Bushtucker Trial,
so the chances are,

there's gonna be
some critters involved, OK?

Yeah, we guessed that.

Of course...
DEC SIGHS

...if any of you want to stop
at any point, just yell,

"l'm a celebrity, get me out
of here," we'll get you out.

Now my ears have pricked up.
Oh! Oh!

However, we will all be
very disappointed if you do that.

Come on, let's give it a go.

Are you both willing
to give it a go?

Yes, Joel!
That's what I want, Ant!

Come on, Dec. I suppose...
I suppose I have to, Joel.

Yes!
JOEL LAUGHS

Ant, you're up first.

Yes!
Oh! Dammit!

HE EXHALES DEEPLY
How many stars?

There's gonna be three stars.

There's gonna be one in each drop...

Three drops?!
Three drops?!

There's three drops for each of you.
Oh, God.

Does it help if I do, like...

There'll be a yellow star coming.
I think you guys know by now,

it's a yellow star.
DEC LAUGHS

Keep your mouth closed, Ant.
Keep your...

I find that very difficult.
Mm, I know.

Stand by,
and here is your first drop.

Try and look up and
catch the star, catch the star!

Oh, you missed it!
Oh! Oh!

Oh!
Oh...

Jesus!
That was slime there.

I don't know...
You don't say?!

Did you get it?
Did you get it there, Ant?

Course I didn't get it!
CREW LAUGH

I didn't think so.
ANT LAUGHS

OK, are you ready
for your second drop, Ant? Yes!

Go on, go on, Ant. You can get it!
Oh, you were so close.

You were so close with that one.
HE SPITS

Did you get it?
No, I didn't!

So close,
that was cockroaches there, Ant.

Was I close?
You...

Yeah!
You were very close.

Was I?
Really close.

Oh, they stink!
It slipped through your fingers.

He cannot see, man!
ANT LAUGHS

He cannot see!

Ah, this'll be so much better
when I watch you do it.

THEY LAUGH
Oh, I forgot about that.

Time for your third drop, Ant.

OK.
Look up and try and catch a star.

Come on, you've got it,
you've got it, you've got it.

Hold onto it! Oh, no!
Oh! It was so close!

Dammit!
Did you get it?

It was so close.
No, I didn't get it!

So, unfortunately, Ant...
Yeah?

...you scored no stars for yourselves
or camp.

OK.
That's disappointing.

OK.
Come back over here.

Well done.
DEC APPLAUDS

That's bad.
That is bad.

It's bad. It's worse than you think.

So, I'm a celebrity,
get me out of here.

I'll see you, guys.
LAUGHTER

I don't think you should say that.
OK. You gonna be all right?

I'm gonna be all right.
Are you sure?

Not really.
Don't know if you are.

Urgh.

Dec, remember, look up,
catch a star.

That's all you gotta do.

Go for it.

Catch a star, catch a star...

Oh, it's diff...
LAUGHTER

Now, you've lost it! You lost it!
DEC SPLUTTERS

No!
Unfortunately, Dec, you missed it.

Did I?
You missed the star. You missed it.

You all right, can you see?
I can see. You can.

Oh, wonderful windscreen wiper
motion there.

Good work.
Thank you. Well done.

Are you ready for the drop, Dec?

DEC SPLUTTERS
Yes.

Here it comes, here we go.
Oh, got it!

Oh, he's got it!
You've got it!

You've got it!

Yes, Dec, you got it! Look!

Oh, don't drop it, don't drop it!
Yes!

Hurray!

Well done, Dec. It means nothing!

I couldn't be happier!
HE SPLUTTERS

What do I do with it now?

Oh, drop it on the floor.

Drop it on the floor,
we've counted that.

OK, are you ready for your third
drop, Dec? Yes, I'm ready.

Catch it... Oh! Butterfingers!

Oh, you missed it! You missed it.

That's it, that's it, good shot.
Good shot.

The slime really makes it stick,
doesn't it?

It's much better from this angle.
Yeah, it is.

It's a spectator sport, really.
I know! It's so fun.

Congratulations, you got one star.
Well done.

Take your goggles off, you fool.

Holy moly!
Cannot believe this. How many NTAs?

LAUGHTER
And it's come to this!

Oh, my Lord!
Well done, guys.

Thank you, Joel.

Now, it's time
for your second trial.

It's called...

Face Your Fears.

See you later.
Ant takes longer in make-up.

50 spiders.

Hello there,
and welcome to the back of beyond.

BOTH: Boom-boom-boom.

Welcome to the jungle!
DEC SCREAMS

Here come the critters.

HE LAUGHS UPROARIOUSLY

They're the silhouette
of I'm A Celebrity, aren't they?

Hate you guys!
'They're funny, they're warm.'

They're the sort of guys,
you want them to be your best mates.

LAUGHTER

As people are suffering,
Ant and Dec are laughing.

LAUGHTER

One more. There you go.
How did you eat that ball so fast?

LAUGHTER

It's experiences.
LAUGHTER

Come on, Kim.
Ant and Dec are I'm A Celebrity.

No-one can take over what Ant
and Dec do. You never tire of them.

It's usually harder than that.
It's gone all soft.

What's my name, boys,
what's my name?

Come on. This is a Bushtucker Trial!
Here we go!

Ant and Dec for I'm A Celebrity
is like the Queen for England.

Just kind of one of those guys.

We don't have a country without a
Queen. Same thing with Ant and Dec.

Thank you. I know they're
a big deal in the UK,

but they were actually
kind of a pain in the butt.

Here we go again.

Good morning!
Good morning!

Who would you rather see doing the
jokes on this show? Us or Stanley?

CREW: Stanley!

It's a bad hair day for Stefanie.
I know exactly what you mean.

In other Black Friday deals,

we've got a presenter
who's 20% lower than normal.

En garde!

Ya! Ya! Ya! Ya!
Yargh! Yargh!

Or you could opt for the one
with 40% extra forehead.

There's been a rumour going around
the crew that I shave my chest.

That is a rumour I've heard.

I would just like to say,
once and for all,

I do not shave my chest.

Dec shaves my chest.

Did you just kick me?
Sorry.

When you're stuck in Australia
with someone,

you've gotta put up with
their irritating habits. True.

I mean, I put up with yours,
don't I?

What are you talking about?
I haven't got any irritating habits!

DEC SNORTS

Here is an actual-size Dennis Wise.

AS DENNIS WISE: I wonder what time
Ant and Dec are coming in.

They're so tall, they're giants,
especially that Dec, he's so tall!

Declan! Not my words, the words
of actual-size Dennis Wise.

He's a very small man!

Ha-ha, egg-cellent! Yes, it was
an egg-ceptional meal, Toff.

Yes, it looked totally egg-mazing.

Little egg joke there, like you did.

Yeah, well, that's...
That's not how...

That's not how you do it, though,
is it? You don't do it like that.

Like... No, you'd say, like,

I mean, it took ages
to get into that egg.

What a yolker!

ANT LAUGHS
Yeah? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

When it comes to cooking,
he really is egg-terrible!

You still don't understand, do you?
Let's just move on.

Cracking idea.
Yes, that's it!

Speaking of one-night stands,
who can admit theirs?

I've had a few.
I don't remember half their names.

Interesting stuff on the one-night
stands thing there, though. Yeah.

Edwina's not backwards
in coming forwards is she, eh?

In fact, I've actually got a list
of Edwina's conquests right here.

It's very interesting reading.

Apparently, it includes
one half of a well-known TV duo.

Let me see.
DEC GASPS

There's an argument to say that if
you don't like the result of a vote,

you can't just have another vote
until you get the result you want.

Well, it's... Mm?
It's complicated, isn't it?

I mean, right from the off,

Jacqueline said
she wanted to remain,

but then Kate started off
saying she wanted to leave,

but then changed her mind
and wanted to become a remainer.

Then Andrew Maxwell got involved.
He got involved.

Grr! He wanted to stop them
going back to change the result.

The Irish backstop.
Yeah.

LAUGHTER
Complex issue.

SAS guerrillas stole them
in the night.

What was all that rubbish
they were talking about SAS blokes

sneaking around camp
and stealing stuff?

They're losing it, big time!

Right, back to camp,

and while they've all
lost their towels,

Crissy's been losing weight.

SAS bloke...

Donald Trump's here,
he's finally here.

He's gonna make those trials
great again.

AS TRUMP: Two guys are gonna
do them, great guys,

probably the greatest guys
ever to do the greatest trial.

LAUGHTER
It's actually good!

I can't do it.
It's good!

It's not.
Go with it, go with it!

Oh, I can't do it.

But it's wrong, though,
because it was Caitlyn Jenner.

Oh, was it, though?
Yeah, do it again.

AS JENNER: Or is it fake news?
Fake news!

It's fake news guys, it's fake news!

Two little blokes,
joined at the hip,

cameras pointed at them
all the time.

Never see one without the other.
Personally, I find that very sad.

Some people have made a career
out of it, though.

Yeah, saddos.

BOTH: Get me out of here!

Morning.
Morning.

3:15am!

Er...

And we're about to begin
the 35-minute drive to site.

Come on.

Come on. It's early, innit?

Shower, shave,
out the door, into the car.

I have a little coffee.
Do you have a little coffee?

Yeah, I do have to make time
for a little coffee.

He has a coffee!
Yeah.

'Front gate security, ITV.'

Hosts Ant and Dec are arriving
on site now.

Good morning.

How are you?
Morning.

Good, thank you. Still waking up.

How are you?

Good, thanks. Looking good today?

LS it?

It's, like, 4am.
We have a look at the script,

what the boys have been working on
during the night,

what all of the VTs look like,

and, erm... and see what
we're gonna do on telly in...

Three hours?
Three hours.

DEC READS: Hello, good morning,
good evening, welcome to Australia.

The day after Andrew Maxwell's
departure,

and the minute he left camp,
Andrew went straight to the airport.

Where he was immediately arrested
on a very serious charge -

attempting to smuggle budgies
out of Australia.

Naughty little...
LAUGHTER

Also coming up tonight...

LAUGHTER

Great show tonight, guys.

It's a very funny show. Very funny.
We laughed a lot in that.

You don't always laugh, believe me,
do you?

No!
You don't.

It's time to make the magic happen.
Get the old make-up and wardrobe on.

We're not in there long.
ANT LAUGHS

See you later.

Ant takes longer in make-up.

Well, it's obvious, innit?

He's just uglier.

Ta-da!

You CAN polish a turd.

Was Kate in the sack?
Yes.

ANT LAUGHS

ls it hot?
Whoa, this has escalated quickly!

Dec's line will be,
"What, that escalated..."

Ron Burgundy line, innit?
Perfect, thanks.

We've now got 15 minutes
till we're live.

Have a great show, everybody!
Thank you.

Good luck. Don't mess it up.
No pressure, no pressure!

Shake it out.
Shake it.

Shake it out.
Shake it out, come on.

Shake it out, come on guys.
You can do it!

PRODUCER: Ten, nine, eight, seven,

six, five, four,

three, two, one,

ZGFO.

It's the start of the final week.
And the countdown has begun.

Now, nobody knows
how long they'll last.

Any one of them
could be the next to go

here on I'm A Celebrity...

BOTH: ..Get Me Out Of Here!

Go two and three.

The insurance wasn't cheap,

but we made sure she was
comprehensively covered.

Get her away!

Cliff Parisi
was the first celebrity...

to get out of bed.
DRAMATIC MUSIC

He managed 12 days in camp.
In that time, he became best pals

with some buffalo
down in ol' dingo town.

It's Cliff, everybody!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Well, there you go.

So, we go and get
a bit of breakfast now,

and there's a bit of downtime
before we do the trial,

cos they've gotta to decide
who does the trial.

Oh, I forgot about the trial!

Cos, otherwise,
we'd be finished now.

Yeah.
We'd get 18 holes in.

Breakfast of champions.

These are actual outfits, so...
Captain Australia and Cockroach Man.

Cockroach Man, yeah.
Who comes up with this?

He does. It's his fault.

Just after 10am.
We're gonna go and shoot the trial.

Let's do it.
Let's do it.

It's me on the telly. So that's what
we watch so we can see the action,

see if they get the stars
or they're struggling,

or, you know,
how they're getting on, really.

We have a secret,
hidden jungle monitor.

OK, you're in position.
Captain Australia, are you ready?

Your time starts... now.

Start the clock, off they go.
Just a little bit wider.

Yes, she got it!

CELEBRITY:
Go on, Kate.

GASPING

SHE SCREAMS

She's done it!
Yay!

That's nine stars, a full house!

SHE SCREAMS

There we go. Trial's done...
on the stroke of midday.

Midday, see?
Midday.

We don't just play golf all day.
And that's us done.

Let's get out of here.

Now, it's time
for your second trial.

It's called...

Face Your Fears.

Now, you may know this one.
It's the helmet one.

Yep.
Wonderful.

OK, I really don't like this one.

Dec? Yes. Are you ready? Yes.
You're up first with this one.

Oh, God, OK. Yes! Let's get you
in position. Let's do it.

Dec, you look ready.
I'm ready.

Are you ready
for the critters to be added?

Yes.

God...
You have to try and get the stars

using the tools that are in the box,

and put the star on top of the box.

And you've got two minutes
to do that.

Easy stuff! Does that sound OK?
Yeah.

Let's get the rangers in.

OK, Dec, here comes your critters.

Oh, my God.

There is 1,000 cockroaches
in your hand boxes...

Oh, my God. Oh, my God!

And there, in your helmet,
is 50 spiders.

KLAXON

Just use those tools there.
Go on, Dec!

You've got two minutes
to use the tooL

Thank God this is him, not me,
I hate spiders.

Remember, righty-tighty,
lefty-loosey.

Go on, Dec, you've got this!
Go, on, Dec, you've got this.

Oh, you're absolutely excelling
at this.

Wonderful stuff. Using the hand.

That's one star.
Absolutely beautiful stuff.

I feel like supporting him.

You're really doing great.
I know how the campmates...

Go on, Dec! You can do it.

You got it, mate.
Onto the second star now.

Lefty-loosey. Doing really well.

Go on, Dec!
Mmm!

So good at IKEA furniture.

Mmm!

Mm-mm!
There's... You're nearly at...

Oh, you've got the second star.
The second star is on there!

They're on his face!
OK, congratulations.

Let's get him out, rangers,
get him out.

Get him out!
Let's get him out.

Well done, Dec, well done.

Well done.

Oh, my God.
Oh, my God, well done.

Mm!
Honestly... Well done.

"That is absolutely incredible.
Well done.

Two stars,
you absolutely smashed that.

Oh, no!
You did it in one minute.

That is way quicker than any
of the campmates did that last year.

Yeah, well, they're all rubbish,
aren't they?

LAUGHTER
Come on guys, toughen up.

That's scared me now. Didn't think
we'd be getting that. Whoo!

That's pretty hardcore, innit?
Oh!

OK, Ant, let's get you in position,
it's your turn.

OK.
Here we go. Well done, Dec.

Oh!
OK, Ant, how are you feeling?

Erm... bit nervous now.

Yeah?
Now I'm in here.

What would you not like to have
in your helmet? Snakes.

Erm...

Scorpions.

I didn't even think of scorpions!
Yes, scorpions!

Are you ready to find out?
Yes, let's do it.

Oh, no.

I would not like that.

So, we've got 1,000 cockroaches
in your hand box.

Oh, oh, Jesus!

And there are gonna be
six snakes...

Nah, I wouldn't fancy that.
Snakes?!

...in your helmet.
I wouldn't fancy that.

Really?
Nah.

When the last snake goes in,
we're gonna start the time,

and you have two minutes
to use the tool

and get two stars out of the box.

Well done, Ant.

I always think this is quite hard

because it takes them so long
to get the snakes in. Snakes in.

That, even though
there's six in there,

it's like you've gotta spend
more time with, like, the first two.

Yeah, that's so true. Whereas
the spiders just go straight in.

OK, Ant, you're doing
absolutely great, mate. Well done.

KLAXON
It's two minutes now.

There it is, you got it.

Remember, lefty-loosey,
righty-tighty.

Perfect!
He's got it.

He's got it, straight in there.

The snakes are very comfortable
there.

Ah, you're almost there
on the first one.

Again, very quick.
Screw it with your fingers!

Yes, Dec!
Got it.

Yes, Ant, perfect.
Oh, it's gotta be on top of the box!

It's gotta be on top of the box.

I don't know if
they're gonna give you that,

but I'll ask the adjudicator.

How are you feeling, Ant?
This is really claustrophobic.

Bit claustrophobic in there?
Mm-hm.

ANT HUMMING: Mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm.
I think that's what he said.

One minute gone now, Ant.

One minute gone,
you've got one minute left.

Got it! He's got it!
And the second star on the box.

Get him out, rangers.

Mm!
Well done, Ant, well done.

Well done.
Oh, my god.

Well done.
Absolutely brilliant.

Brilliant stuff.
Ah! Hold on!

You guys pay my wages, so, OK,
there we go, that's two stars!

Well done.
Oh, that was horrible.

Well done, guys.

Congratulations.
Thank you. Thank you.

Dec, you've got three stars
in total. Fantastic.

Ant, you have two stars in total.
Not bad!

Are you ready for the next trial?

Yes.
Yes.

Well, it wouldn't be
a Bushtucker Trial, would it...

Don't, don't.
...without an eating trial.

Oh, no.
It was always gonna be, wasn't it?

They were always gonna do this.
Yeah.

Rangers, bring on the table!
N0! Argh!

ANT AND DEC RETCH

JOEL LAUGHS

OK, guys. There's three stars each
to play for.

Three?! Why?! Three each.
Cos there's three courses.

You know, it's a standard meal.
Oh, starter, main, dessert.

Starter, main, dessert.
We do that.

Yeah, yeah!
Ant, you're up first.

Oh, course I am!

There he is.

As you are well aware, Ant,
that is a witchetty grub.

And you obviously know
you need to bite the head off...

Oh, God.
..and then eat the rest of the body.

D'you know...?

This and the fish eye were the two
I hoped I would never get.

Don't you laugh!
I'm not laughing!

You gotta do one in a minute!
I'm not laughing!

D'you know which side is the head?

It's there, innit?
Oh, it's there, yeah.

I'm just gonna bite down to it,
I think. Bite down to the head?

Do you know what I mean?
Like, bite...

HE LAUGHS
This is happening!

This is actually happening!

Look at it.

Yeah.

DEC CHORTLES

Well done.
It's chewier than you think.

Get it down, Ant.
ANT SLAMS TABLE REPEATEDLY

Oh, God.
Oh.

Is it gooey in there?
ls it gooey? Mm-hm.

There's lots of skin.

Oh, lots of skin!

Ah!
There we go, Ant!

Well done.
Oh, that was horrendous.

You've got another star for
yourself. Congratulations. Ah...

Thanks, Joel.
OK, Dec, you have...

Whoa!

HE LAUGHS

Yes!

"Fermented duck egg.
Nah, nah.

ANT LAUGHS

I can really testify...
Oh, God!

So pleased it's not me!
..this one's really disgusting.

I can't do it.

A fermented duck egg.
I can't do it.

It's fermented, man!
ANT BURPS

Oh, that's...
LAUGHTER

Sorry.

No, it's quite all right.
It's absolutely all right.

Better out than in.
This one's better in than out.

You can do it, Dec, I know you can.

Have a smell of it.
Oh, no, no, no, no.

That's the mistake they all make.

Let me smell it!
No!

Let me smell it.
No, cos you're gonna overdo it.

Whoa-ho-ho-ho!
You must eat the whole egg.

The whole egg!
The whole egg?

In order to win the star, yes.

Do you know the best thing
about this?

Is... Dec's wife is our manager,

so she would have signed
all of this off.

LAUGHTER

Well done, Dec.
That's it.

That's it, that's it.

Oh, look at the inside.
Oh, that's shocking!

Don't look, don't look at it.
Oh, I looked at it!

Don't look at it.
LAUGHTER

Why did you look at it?
I looked at it! Don't look.

Just think it's a scotch egg,
it's a boiled egg.

You know when someone over-boils
and they're a bit hard...

My wife does that,
who used to be our manager.

If these were the first courses...

Dread to think what's next.
I haven't read the next card.

ANT LAUGHS

He's gone for the second half.

This is worse. It's got all the yolk
in this bit.

And that's...

That's where all of the taste is.

What does it taste like?
Honestly?

Yeah.
BLEEP.

LAUGHTER

Urgh! It's...

Swallowing is a problem.
Yeah. You got this.

Not allowed water until the end.
I know, I know the rules, Dommett.

LAUGHS

You're right, it is the worst bit.
It's awful, innit?

It's stuck to their teeth,
to their tongue.

Ah!
Well done! One star for you, Dec.

Congratulations.
That's one star each.

Time for your second dish, Ant.

Ah, that's big.
That's a big one.

Mmm. Mm-mm-mm!

Nah, nah, nah, it can't be.
It can't be.

Ant, you have...
That's a drink.

They wouldn't do that to us.

Argh! N0!

N0! No! N0!
It's a drink.

And that drink is...
Shut up, Joel!

"Blended vomit fruit.

Oh, no. Blended vomit fruit.
We all know that's the worst one.

It's not nice.
Oh, why did you give me this?

Because you're a great guy.
Oh!

It's the worst.
I could not do that.

You have to finish the whole thing
to get the star.

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
You know that.

Yes, yes, yes, yes.
Your wife is so sacked.

Yeah? Two votes.

She's outta here.
Yeah, OK, good.

Erm...

HE SIGHS

There's a real chance
I could just vom.

There is a real chance.

And it'd be horrible for you,
but what a telly moment.

LAUGHS

It's a fruit.

I know that.
But it stinks like sick.

Yeah, it's one of your five a day.

You could have four more
if you want. Five cups of sick?

I can smell it from here.

OK.

He's gone for it.
Well done.

Well done. Almost there.

Last bit.

Pop it down.
Argh!

That is horrendous!

Oh, my God!
It literally tastes like vomit.

Me eyes are watering.

Ah, God, that's horrible.

It's actually very nutritious,
would you believe it or not?

It's not funny anymore.
LAUGHTER

Dec!
Yes, boss?

Now it's your turn.
It's a drink, innit?

It's coming out me nose.
It's a drink. Blended cockroaches.

Oh, for f...
STIFLED LAUGHTER

How do you feel about that one?
Not brilliant.

I'll be honest, it's quite watery
to start off with. Yeah.

And then it's thick.
It settles in the bottom, yeah.

So, just... Just go for it
and finish the whole glass,

get another star.

Well done.
That's it.

Now it's the dirty bit
at the bottom.

Get it all down.
That last little lump.

You've got bits on the bottom.

Oh!

ANT LAUGHS

Wow!

Sorry about that.

You'll be making money
out of that clip for years.

LAUGHTER

I told you not to stop.

At the moment,
you haven't got yourself a star.

Shut up! Shut up!

I'm so sorry.

I'm so sorry.
Ugh!

You tried it.
You don't need a star.

It's just the last bit that's hard.

You can pass if you can't finish it.

One big gulp, man.
I can't drink that.

Are you passing on that star?
I'm gonna have to.

To be fair, we wouldn't give that,
would we?

No, we wouldn't.
We wouldn't, so...

We get itjoel, we get the rules,
we understand it.

Bring out my last dish.

Ranger, bring out
the final delicacy, please.

ANT SIGHS

Ant, shall we find out
what we've got?

Yeah.
You have...

...raw fish eye.
Ugh!

Now, you are very aware
of what this is,

and as you know,
it's all about the pop.

Oh, you did it, didn't you?
And then the lens.

Swallowing the lens
is the hard part.

You did it.

This... That's the worst.
This is the one.

We always say, "Not the fish eye."

It's an eye.
Why eye, man.

LAUGHS
That's very good.

Just thought of that.
We'll have that.

I wish I'd thought of that.

Why eye, man.
We'll cut your bit out.

LAUGHTER

Ah, jeez.

Ugh!

Well done.
Oh.

I haven't chewed it yet.
Go on.

Was that it?

Oh, there it is!
There he is.

There he is.
There it is.

There he is.

It's really hard.
Get through the lens bit.

You're really gripping
that table, Ant.

Mmm.
Well done.

It's that bit.

Ugh!

It won't go.

This is horrible.

It's not easy to watch.

DEC LAUGHS

I lie, it's really easy to watch.
It's really funny.

Have you done it?
There we go!

Well done, Ant, you finished!
Well done, mate. Thanks.

That's me done.
That's you done.

I did it.
I did my Bushtucker Trials.

It's all right, I'll wait for you
to finish yours.

OK. Your final dish is...

Pig's penis.

It's a penis!

Now, you must eat the section
on the cocktail stick.

Ah! I'm elated, now mine's done.

Almost giddy.

Giddy, yeah!

Oh, lordy, lordy, Lord.

Just the bit on the cocktail stick
and you win your final star.

It's just the tip.

Oh, dean

No, it's not a deer's penis.

Pig's penis.

Oh, God, this is like a nightmare.

It is.

You're doing so well.
I'm not, though.

You really are.
To be honest, I'm not.

You've had to go through
three trials.

Most people would have to go
through one of these.

That vomit fruit.
Ugh.

That's it. Get it at the back.

Chomp down and just chew it.

It's a bit chewy.

There you are!
Well done. There we go.

He's doing it.
You're doing it, man.

Well done, Dec.

What does it taste like?

Really... really gristly.
Yeah. It's a real tough one.

Well done. Get it chewed.

It feels unnatural to swallow it.

Ooh!
No, Dec, no.

Keep it in! Don't, don't, don't!

That was unexpected.
Not for me, it wasn't.

LAUGHTER

I'm just sweating again.

Right, just swallow it down.

I'm trying to!

I'm just trying to do that.
Your body's gone very red.

I'm sweating!

This has turned out to be
the greatest morning of my life.

Yes!
There's another star for you, Dec!

Congratulations. That was
your final plate, well done.

Have a drink. Have a drink.

Well done.

Well done. Let's clear this plate,
please, ranger.

Well done.

So, you'll both be very glad to hear
that that is the end of the trial.

Well done to you both.
Thank you, Joel.

And you both got five stars.
Well done.

You guys are gonna be
eating well tonight!

We would have been anyway,
you moron!

It's steak night!

Thanks, everybody.
Thank you very much.

Thank you.
DEC BURPS

Well done, everybody. Ah!
We did it, thank you.

All right, guys, you can pop off.
Well done, Joel. Well done. pal.

It was an absolute pleasure.
Thanks, Joel. Back to camp?

Back to camp. Back to your hotel.
I'm gonna go and throw up.

5Y9. everybody!

We're gonna go back and tell them.
You can't tell them!

"You can't tell them!"

Come back, we'll have a threesome.

I mean, they're very sexy guys.

I'll massage you, too.
Oh!

If people can meet you
at your worst,

and still like you,
then that's the best scenario.

It's, like, literally 24/7
you're together.

# I wanna take you somewhere

# So you'll know I care

# But it's so cold. #

BOTH: Aw!

I was just fixated on Pete.
People saw our relationship develop.

You go all red, don't you?
No, I don't.

Oh, get lost.
No!

Having Pete there in the jungle
did make it easier

because you'd fall asleep
thinking of 'em,

wake up seeing 'em there.

If you haven't clicked with someone,
I think it's quite hard and lonely.

People love a romance.
Yeah.

They love a love story and it just
developed as the series went on.

I get on really well with Pete.

He's a really good-looking guy,
a type of guy I would go for,

but I have got a boyfriend.

She had a boyfriend!
I forgot that. Oh, yeah.

I'll have to rub this in
and do it later,

cos I'll help them cook.
Yeah, that's fine.

I don't understand
how there could possibly be

a love story in the jungle.
You smell so bad!

I do remember watching it, though,
and it was magnificent.

Why don't you just forget what
they say, and do what we wanna do?

Well, what do you want to do?
Let's shag.

No, just joking.
LAUGHTER

The whole Katie and Peter, like,
it just went crazy, didn't it?

It was everywhere.

Do you fancy me, Pete?

If it's mutual, yeah.

Shame nothing came of it.

DEC LAUGHS

It was a proper love story,
and I think me and Pete

are the only ones
who had kids come out of it.

I mean, I was what, 23,

had no idea I would go in the jungle
and meet my husband.

It was this series that changed it
from being just a good show

that was on air,
that was quite popular,

to being one of the heavyweight
shows of the year.

The newspapers went mad for it.
Yeah.

You couldn't move for people
talking about this show.

You act sometimes very spoilt.

We all are a little bit spoilt.
Of course we're spoilt.

But we don't all act
like a petulant little boy.

It does get a bit playgroundy
when you're in there.

That's life. You know,
nobody gets on with everybody.

Some people gelled,
some people didn't.

I'm very sorry, Rosemary.

We come in at, like, 3:00am,
and the first thing we say is,

"What's happened last night?"
Yeah, "Any arguments?"

Yeah.
And then they go, "Oh, my God,

"there was a massive blow up
last night." And we go, "Yes!"

I don't feel you, babe.

God!
"l'm just not feeling you, babe".

Do you remember that?
Yeah, I do remember.

Oh, I thought you were just
talking to me.

You just said "maximum".

You just said it.

OK! Enough!

I've had enough of your BLEEP shit.

I have to admit, as a viewer,
I've watched it

and I've enjoyed watching the row,

I've been like,
"Go on, this is exciting."

FA RT

Listen, don't do that
when we're cooking!

Don't keep BLEEP having a go at me
about farting!

When you go to camp and there's been
a fight, you can tell.

Yeah. It's a really heavy
atmosphere, isn't it? Yeah.

Like your parents have been arguing.

And they're not looking
at each other.

If you're not gonna cook, hop it
and let this young man do it.

I will not have you...

The last person you want to cross,

especially if you're in the middle
of the jungle, is Kim.

You don't want to go there.

Don't you dare speak to me
like that, ever!

They seemed to argue a lot more,
back in the day.

What were we doing back then?
Let's get back to it.

LAUGHS

Did I hear you say

you should never live your life
for other people ever?

Count me out.

Sometimes,
you put other people first.

I'm gonna tell you
it's the wrong decision.

You can't stop me
doing what I think is right.

Playboy Bunny.
Your favourite.

And Edwina Currie.
Your favourite.

THEY LAUGH

BLEEP

Kendra, you can't dominate me,
so don't try.

Just goes to show, doesn't it,
that, you know,

you can disagree with people,

but sometimes
it's how you disagree with people.

What do you mean?

Well, like, we can disagree
about something

and we can agree to disagree.
What the BLEEP?!

THEY LAUGH

Dude!
Get the stuff, man, let's do it.

Ah, one of our all-time favourites!

This is what the Dingo Dollar
Challenge was designed for. Yeah.

Strawberries and cream
sounds good to me, man. Yeah.

I'm having 'em. I want 'em.
I want to eat them now.

LAUGHTER

Are you gonna have them now or not?

At the time, I thought it was gonna
be a little bit of fun.

I'd just go there
and I'd just eat the strawberries,

and I eat them,
and I won't tell anyone about 'em,

but it didn't work out like that.

How are they gonna find out,
when we get back?

They're not gonna.
No!

HE LAUGHS

He can't!

Sorry, guys.
We're eating them.

Brilliant.

Take your gloves off.

"Take your gloves off."

Oh, BLEEP!

This is the worst thing
we've ever done.

Look at it, all round his mouth.

Looking back at it now,
it was very bad of me.

We're gonna go back and tell them.
You can't tell them!

LAUGHTER
"You can't tell them!"

We won the strawberries and cream.

I thought it would be really funny
to eat them all on my own.

We said at the time, I can't believe
it took that long for them to go,

"l could just eat this." Yeah,
and just pretend we got it wrong.

Just pretend we got it wrong.
Yeah.

We messed up.
Yeah.

I go to the dentist, they'll come
out with strawberries and cream,

and I'll be like, "Why have you
got strawberries and cream?"

They go, "Remember the jungle?"
I'm like, "Yeah, nice one, thanks."

Would I do it again?

Just hilarious.

It can still be done again,
but just don't confess,

and the only way they'll find out
is when they do the exit interview.

Yeah. And then who cares?

You're going to the hotel,
it doesn't matter.

You can have breakfast.
Yeah.

The Dingo Dollar.
So good.

One of our favourite ever
contestants, Lady C.

Come on, play!

Spaghetti bollocknaise.

What are bollocks?
What are bollocks?

Oh! OK.

Life is difficult enough
when you're authentically yourself

without trying to be someone else.

Tossers, the whole bunch of you.

I intend to be.

No matter what, I believe, in life,
just roll the dice

and let it come up
the way it is going to come up.

I don't need any input from you.

You are a hypocritical,
pretentious arsehole.

You're a chippy oik.

With the brains of a pea
and the mouth of...

Diarrhoea!

I'm not entering into
any popularity contest with anyone.

You know, who likes me, likes me.
Who doesn't, doesn't.

You're so used to creeps
and dolly birds and tarts

in awe of you because you can sing.

I mean, you don't even have
a particularly good voice.

Tony's a sheep
and would follow any shepherd.

You're certainly no Carreras,
that's for sure.

For her, she didn't care
if the viewers liked her or not.

She just done her thing
and was actually very funny.

You're an impertinent old goat.

Despite the conflict,

the really memorable time
was with Ant and Dec,

because of course
I loved flirting with them.

What do you think?
You're wet already.

Yes, you naughty boy!
LAUGHTER

You deserve to be spanked!
Are you flirting with me, Lady C?

Might be, darling, might be.

LAUGHTER
You never know.

Although
I'm a little bit too old for you.

She's not, you know.

Maybe a cougar for dessert.

She liked you.

I'll leave you on your own, shall I?
Yes, please do.

Yeah, I'll leave you.
I feel like a gooseberry, Lady C.

Come back, we'll have a threesome.
LAUGHTER

The public thought I was joking.
Well, I've got news for you.

I wasn't joking.

Are you gonna flirt with me as well?
I'll try.

Whatever it takes, Lady C.
A little kissy-kissy?

If it'll get you to do the trial.
Well...

Thanks for coming down, anyway.
My pleasure. Nice to chat to you.

So, why didn't you try to flirt
with me, you bad boy?

Look at those sexy muscles!
LAUGHTER

I mean, they're very sexy guys.
They're hot.

Nice muscles.

She was just brilliant.

Didn't get that threesome, though,
did we, eh?

No.
Never did.

No, didn't get the threesome.

Just me and her.

Ah.

Let's go, team!

Ah, what was that?

I cannot believe
this is gonna be the 20th series.

Not many shows last that long.

I just think it's become
part of the family now.

It's fun, it's emotional,
it's perfect British television.

Arghg

I think the public enjoys
seeing these celebrities be real.

You get to know the person,
and I think people like that.

We wanna see celebrities suffer.

We wanna see them
being crawled over by rats.

Argh!
We wanna see them being fabulous.

I'm a celebrity, get me out of here.
I'm sorry, I can't.

Happy, happy. haPPY-

The show for us, personally,
has been huge, hasn't it?

Mm-hm. It's gone from being
a strange little reality show

set in a jungle
for a couple of weeks

to almost like
a national institution.

Yeah, it's like Wimbledon.

Yeah. Comes round the same time
every year.

You know, you know
what you're getting. Yeah.

It's a bit of escapism, bit of fun,
sunshine from Australia

and then... yeah.

Soon as you hear those jungle drums
and the didgeridoo,

you know what you're getting.
Yeah.

We've grown up in the jungle,
you can tell by some of the clips.

I still look forward to going
every single year.

The year I didn't do it,
that was a long winter.

Was it? You miss it, believe me,
you miss it when you don't do it.

It's brilliant, it just starts
to get cold and bit wet and...

The clocks change here.

The clocks change,
you go, "Let's get out of this."

Bye!
"Bye, I'm off to Oz."

I'm a celebrity,
I'm gonna get out of here.

Get me out of here.

I loved being on I'm A Celebrity.

It was the most joyous thing
I think I've ever done.

I could happily relive it.

I like my bum.

Hands down, I'm A Celebrity
was the best experience of my life.

HUMS BATMAN THEME

l-0g man!

I just loved the experience
and I would do it all over again.

It's strange now
that more people come up to me

and talk about I'm A Celebrity
than what they do about football.

Much more.
You know, I'll never forget it.

It was something special in my life.

Biff-baff-boff,
you gotta watch your badda-bum.

I'm very glad that I did
I'm A Celebrity.

It has been an extremely positive,
life-enhancing experience.

I'm a celebrity!

By far, one of the best experiences
of my life. Made new friends.

And something I'm always
gonna remember, yeah, definitely.

Oh, the things I do for a pint.

I've never felt so happy in my life

and I don't think I'll ever feel
like that in my life ever again.

It will always have
a place in my heart

because it created my family.

If not for the show,
I'd never have had my kids.

It's an amazing show.

It's one of those experiences
that will change your life.

It definitely changed my life.

I say changed my life,

I've definitely got a bigger house
now because of it.

HE LAUGHS

I'm a celebrity, get me out of here.

Cliffy!

You're being very naughty with me.

No!

My name's Michael and I'm real cool.

Big fan of the penis.

I'm doing a Britney Spears.

GEORDIE ACCENT: Hello and welcome to
I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here!

Looking back
just makes me wanna do it again.

Yes. It'll be slightly different
this year.

It will.
But still quite exciting.

Very exciting. But I wonder
who's gonna be doing it?

Who's in it?
Shall we find out? Yeah.

Whether the show is
in Wales or Australia,

this is I'm A Celebrity
Get Me Out Of Here.

It doesn't matter where the show is,
it's gonna be horrendous.

Snakes, spiders,
creepy crawlies, rats.

I absolutely hate them all.

I don't know why I've said yes!

Oh, dear!

What's the worst that could happen?

Am I scared?

Yeah.

Why on earth
have I signed myself up to this?

I'm brave within my sport,

I'm brave and bold within myself,
my personality.

When I'm taken out
of my comfort zone

and dealing with creepy crawlies,
maybe not so brave.

That first moment, walking
into camp, I will be so nervous.

This is the one show that I watched
as a child and always wanted to do.

This is like the dream come true.

I really hope I never have to say,

"l'm a celebrity,
get me out of here".

But I'm gonna definitely
be pushed to my limits.

I'm scared of flying,
I'm scared of snakes,

I don't like spiders,
I don't like rats,

I'm claustrophobic,

I'm not very good
in the cold, either.

So, I'm sure I'll be all right (!)

It's got a history. People have
lived there, possibly died there.

If we're inside the castle
at any time,

that might be scarier
than just being out in our camp.

It's been a crazy challenging year,
I wanna do something different,

I'm up for the adventure
and this is it.

I'm already a knight.

In that castle,
I'm gonna fit right in. Bang.

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