I'm Losing You (1998) - full transcript

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lions gate films

You said...There's
a 90% mortality rate

in the first year.

Does that mean
that after 12 months...

Perry...

Mortality is 100%.

Jeez, I never felt better
in my life.

You may continue to.

When you begin
having discomfort,

we'll be very aggressive
in managing the pain.

Don't fuck with me,
frank.



Jesus, it's like a movie.

Perry,
you're in stage 4.

I can't say when
you'll become florid.

Well, what am I,
a fucking bouquet now?

What about chemo?

You'd go on it, and
you'd never get off.

It's more of a leeching
than anything else.

Oh, god.

Oh, Jesus.

Oh, shit.

I'd hate to see you
go through that.

There are other things
that we can explore,

some of them
experimental.

Are you sure it's,
uh...Adeno--



adenocarcinoma.

You know how much money
I made last year, frank?

I made $8 million.

Perry...

I wish to god--

not a word to diantha.

I'll tell her when I tell her.

And the kids.

Oh, god...My kids.

How'd it go?

Great. This director
always calls me back.

Loves my wild eyes...
You know, what
I used to be.

Bertie...

Never hires me.

I'm too "cable."

Not to mention
boyish and endearing.

You think i'm
too endearing, sissy?

Saccharine and repellent
come to mind.

Nice.

[Chuckles]

There's somethin'
I want to ask you.

Oh, god.
Here comes repellent.

I need 1,500
for the car.

What is wrong
with it now?!

The trannie dropped out.
You know--

the catalytic converter
isn't converting.
The usual.

I can pay you back.
I got a job
selling insurance.

I start tomorrow.

Why don't you just
do daddy's show?

Be a vorbalid
on the starship demeter?
I don't think so, Rachel.

You're an actor.

You have a little girl
to think about,

and it's
a steady income.

Oh, I forgot
to get dad a present.

What'd you get him?

A watch.
An expensive one.

For 60 years
of service.

How is he, anyway?

6-0's a big one.

I think he's having
a midlife crisis.

"Midlife"?
For methuselah, maybe.

You're horrible.
60 is not old.

A babe in the fuckin' woods.

[Chuckles]

Tiffany!

Pappy!

You are
the most gorgeous
girl in the world.

Hey, can I stay
at Lily's tonight?

Not tonight,
sweetheart.

Why?

Because pappy's tired.
He's had a long, hard day

of not being cast
in a major film.
Say hi to your auntie.

[Gloomily]
Hi, Rachel.

Hi, sad sack.

Sure is
a pretty dress.

Grandma bought it
for me.

Did she also get you
this purple nail Polish?

I bought it.

Question, tiff--

if a man has lived
for 60 years...

That's not fair.

I mean...
Do you think
that's old?

That is very old.

You are
such a bastard.

[Chuckles]

Attention, everyone!

Attention!

Everyone, shut up!

I want to sing
an obscure little song

to my husband.

Now, I know most of you
do not know it.

But for those
of you who do,

you may sing along.

* happy birthday to you

* happy birthday to you

* happy birthday,
dear Perry *

* happy birthday to you

* keep comin' back

hey, this is
an aa-free zone.

Blow out the candles,
darling.

"And Sinbad gave him
another hundred sequins

"and told him
that every day

"there'd be a place
laid for him
at his table

"and that he
could always rely
upon the friendship

of
Sinbad the sailor."

That's all
for tonight, kiddo.

Pappy...

Is Rachel my "first" aunt...

Or my real aunt?

You want to run that
by me again?

Well, Rachel was adopted
by grandma and grandpa.

Uh-huh...

So she isn't
your real sister.

I think of her
as my virtual sis.

But you don't have
the same parents.

I knew that.

If she's grandpa's
brother's daughter,

that means she's
your first cousin.

Isn't she?

All true.

And now I dutifully declare
that you, Tiffany krohn,
sailorwoman,

are hereby in charge
of the care and feeding
of the krohn family tree.

But, pappy, wait.

If Rachel's
your first cousin...

That means you
can marry her.

Tiff, did you skip
your ritalin today?

I don't take ritalin.

We can remedy that.

Time for sleep.

But first cousins
always marry.

At least in the
arabian nights.

They roast goats
in the backyard, too,

but we're not into that
until the residual
checks dry up.

Won't you ever
get married again?

I knew there was
a serious subtext here.

Yes, I will.

But first you need
to find the right girl,

and you need
lots of money.

Why do you need
lots of money?

Because Mrs. Right
likes it that way.
Ok?

Say "I love you,"
scheherazade.

I love you, scheherazade.

[Laughter on TV]

[Perry moaning
passionately]

Darling?

What's the matter?

Oh, I was on my way
to the kitchen,

and then I thought...

Why bother?

[Chuckles]

You'll take a chill.
I'll get your robe.

No, I won't. Don't.

I won't take a chill.

And don't talk to me
like some frontier
granny.

Do you want
to hurt me, Perry?

Because I'm not up for it.

[Sighs]

Diantha...

Did you come?

What do you mean?

What do you mean,
"what do you mean"?

Did you come?

No.

But that's not
unusual for me.

Perry...

Is it your birthday
that's got hold of you?

What's wrong?

What it is...

What it is,
lady diantha, is...

I'm dying.

He said, in a word.

Thus spake
the vorbalid.

You are drunk.
Come to bed.

I didn't want
to tell you because...

Well...

"Chickenshit" enters
into it somewhere.

What are you saying?

I had a physical.

Frank found nodules
on both my lungs.

Oh, god.

At first they thought
it was a fungus.

Then they did
some frozen...Section.

A-deee-nocarcinoma,
they call it.

No.

No, it's
add-e-nocarcinoma.

Stage 4,
just like the nuclear
reactor at chernobyl.

I'll talk to frank.

Oh, no. There's nothing
they can do. Nothing.

When did...
When did you go?

Last week.
Funny thing is,

I...i never felt
better in my life.

I have no
bloody stools.

I have
no night sweats.

I have no...
Tremors,

no seizures,
no blackouts.

Come to bed.
I'm fine.

I want you to put
something on.

No, no. You're
not listening to me.

I don't want to hear--
hey!

Listen!
I am not kidding!

You want to see
the fucking X-ray?!

No.

Want me to slice
myself open

with a bulgari
letter opener

and show you
a warty lung?

Huh? As exhibit "a"?

That what you want?!

God damn it!
I want you to come
to bed!

No! No! No!
[Sobbing]

I just want you
to come to bed!

Come to bed.
Come to bed.

[Sobbing]
Come to bed.

[Children laughing]

[Dog barks]

Kenny...you're a dentist.

Your profession certainly
hasn't been untouched
by this terrible disease.

That's absolutely
correct.

There's a lot
of lip service
given to awareness,

but you...
And Marion...

Will be doing
something concrete.

You will be tangibly
easing human suffering.

That's what's
so appealing...
To me.

And this is the time
to do it, folks.

There's a window.
The industry's
still unregulated.

It won't be
like that forever.

Besides, people
are recovering
from this thing now.

How, exactly,
does it work?

Basically, what
you're doing is buying
the life insurance policy

of someone
who's terminally ill.

In effect, you are
giving that person
a lump-sum advance--

accelerating his benefits,
making his passing
a little easier.

It's a blessing
all the way around.

Here's someone I'd like
you to look at.

His name is
Philip dagrom.

Good place
for you to start.

He's got a t-cell count
of 22, which is
relatively low.

I saw him last Friday.
He's pretty much
clinically depressed.

Yeah.
Who wouldn't be?

He doesn't look
all that bad.

That was taken
a month ago.

He's been through thrush,
pneumonia...

You name it.

I'd say we're looking
at a 6-to-9-month
expectancy.

And I hate to say it,
but I am usually spot-on,

plus or minus
a month or 2.

Mmm. How did he
become...Ill?

Hemophiliac...and gay.

The irony is,
it's been established

that it was
a blood transfusion

that was the agent
of transmission.

I've worked
on hemophiliacs.

Wow. How do you
fill a cavity?

[Chuckling]
Very carefully.

Kenny.

If Philip...

Suddenly gets
better...

Which, of course,
we hope he does...

How does that affect
our investment?

Phil's just not
responding to the crixivan.

There hasn't been a lot
of long-term testing
on these drugs.

People who were getting
better are crashing.

Their viral loads are
going through the roof.

Look...i would love
to be able to get out
of this business.

The sad truth is that most
of the people we're dealing with

are just too sick
to be helped.

Hmm. What will he do
with the advance?

If we...
Buy the policy?

He wants to take
a cruise.

I think he'd like
to die in Greece.

More coffee?

I'd love some.

Uh,
what kind of insurance
does he have?

$100,000 policy.

Philip's a, uh,
costumer designer
for television.

It's so sad.

How does that
translate
into dollars?

You'd be getting
92,500

on your original
investment

of 74 and change.

When he dies.

When he dies.

[Piano plays pop tune]

The doctors are worse
than the lawyers.

Did you get
a second opinion?

Everybody
talks to each other.

My x-rays are
all over the Internet.

From cedars
to Sloan-kettering,
the medicos concur--

I'm dead meat.

When you coming back
to the show?

The costume department
is doing very well
without me.

Besides, how many ways
can you dress
a vorbalidian diplomat?

Well, maybe
it's for the best.

'Cause you look
like hell.

I am death
warmed over.

You're death
warming up.

Mmm.

You know, you ought
to put US on the tube.

We could do
the nineties version
of, uh...

Run for your life.
Remember that show?

Yeah. Ben gazzara.

Doctors gave him
a year to live.

What did he have,
anyway?

They found spots
on his career.

[Laughs]

You need anything,
Philip?

I got pots and pots
of money.

Listen. Tell me, for once...
What can I do for you?

You could get me
a new pair of lungs.

You know...The kind
without the hundred
fuckin' little tumors.

You say it's been
in the family
a long time?

My father
brought it from Germany
before the holocaust.

It's supposed to be
the Duke of marlborough.

Well, I think you'll do
very well with this.

I knew you'd help.
I've seen you
at the temple.

Your father was
a cantor, no?

Yes, he was.

Lenny kronowicz?

That's right.

I knew Leonard
in New York.

That's amazing.

I remember you
when you were
a tiny little girl.

Did you know I did
your mother's tahara?

I--i don't know
what that is.

I sat with her
through the night...

Before
she was buried.

My parents died
in a plane crash.

Their bodies
were never found.

Your mother's
bernice, no?

If...you'll excuse me?
I'm unbelievably late.

If you'd like
to leave the painting...

Yes, I would. And, um...

I'm sorry if I...

Oh, it's fine.
It's just a little strange

when someone comes
and tells you
that they did...

Whatever
to your mother.

I'm sorry.

US magazine is doing
a blue matrix feature...

And they want
to follow you around
for a few days.

Fuck...them.

You've got the
scopus awards tonight
at the century Plaza,

and you need to be there
no later than 6:30.

Uh, Dr. Litvak
called.

Oh--

Mona dewaere doesn't
like her hair.

Mona dewaere...

Does not like her hair.

[Chuckles]

It might be nice
if you took a little
walk down to the set.

Yeah.
* hello

anybody home?

Mona!

Well, what a surprise.
Come in.

Come in.

You're sure I'm not
disturbing you?

No, not at all.
Sit down.

I was just coming over
to see you.

Well?

What do you think?

It's absurd.

[Chuckling]

Thank god
you said that.

I was terrified
you were gonna
love it.

It just
tries too hard,
doesn't it?

Mmm.
I feel like
an intergalactic
dildo.

Ha ha ha ha!

The hair is history.

Are you sure?

I've been feeling
very diva-like
today.

No, no, no.
Don't be silly.

I can't tell you
how delighted
we all are

to have you
on the starship demeter.

Mmm. Very happy
to be here.

Do you know my son
hasn't missed
a single episode

of blue matrix,
ever?

In fact, that's
one of the reasons
I'm doing your show.

Because now he thinks
I'm the coolest mom
in the whole world.

Do you have kids?

Yeah. I've got 2.

And I have
a little grandchild.
Sweet little thing.

Aren't they
extraordinary?

Yes.

But I'm serious
about your show.

The writing's
so good.

Each episode is
like a small play.

It's become
quite an industry,
hasn't it?

Oh, god, you've
got no idea.

We're setting up
the star channel.

We have our own
shopping network--

wormhole detectors,
porcelain plates
with painted faces...

Your face,
your very beautiful face--
Mona dewaere on a plate.

You ready for that?

Oh, god, yes.
I always wanted to be

what one finds
at the bottom
of one's porridge.

And the conventions.

Those I might not
be ready for.

I liked your last movie.
It was the one with Finney?

Mm-hmm. Slow dancing.

It's marvelous. Really.
My wife's a big fan,

and I might as well
confess it--

I've had a crush on you
for years and years.

Hello, lidia.

Hi, Bertram.

You look nice.
Date tonight?

Business. You're late.

Am I? Oh.
I was with sheryl.

Her boyfriend
beat her up
last night.

She's completely
freaked out.
You know sheryl.

You could've called.

I'm sorry, bertie.
I was totally unaware
of the time.

I--i went
into caretaking mode.

Uh-huh.
How's the pumpkin?

She might be
getting a cold.

Did you give her
echinacea?

She's taking
goldenseal.

Too late for
the cirque du soleil?

I don't think
that's going to happen,

'cause sheryl
was supposed to
get US the tickets.

Anyway, my boss
is having a party
in fucking tarzana,

and he's a new boss,
so I kinda have to go.

Bummer.

You want to take tiff
another night?

No, it'll be fun.
You know,

we should have
dinner one night,
the three of US.

That'd be nice.
Lidia...

I can cancel my plans,
if you want to have her
another time.

It's fine, bertie.
He's got kids.

Big house, big pool.

She's not going
in the water.

It's heated, bertrum.

She's getting a cold,
lidia. Didn't you just
hear me tell you that?

Hello, baby girl!

Oh, don't you
look cute!

Are we going
to the circus?

We're gonna go
to a really fun
party in tarzana.

Oh! Damn it! Uhh!

I'm sorry. I'm ok.

I've been taking all
this tetracycline
for the last 6 days,

and it is
really fucking
with my balance.

Tiff, would you go
inside for a minute?

Why?
I want to talk
to your mom.

It's ok, pumpkin.
I'm ok.

Ohh. What?

What the fuck, lidia?
Were you gonna drive
like that with our kid?

Like what?

You're loaded.

Oh, is that right?

This isn't gonna happen
tonight, lidia.

Are you gonna test
my urine, bertrum?
Fuck you, lidia.

Come on.
You test my urine.

I'll piss in your mouth,
just like old times.

Get outta here.

Don't you turn
your back on me!

Stop it!
Daddy's throwing
a hissy-fit.

You can see your mother
when she's sober.

Are you fucking insane?

Yes, I am! When it comes
to my kid, I'm insane.

Stop fighting!
Well, she's my kid,
too.

Don't you forget it.
You are so fucking
arrogant.

You walk around like
you're Matt Damon,

and you can't even get
a fucking radio shack
commercial.

You know why you can't
get no radio shack
commercial?

Because, hola,
you can't act.

Tiffany,
get in the car.

You are such a loser.
Everybody knows it,

even your father.
Especially your father.
Tiffany!

Do not step
into that car,
young lady!

Do it, Tiffany.
Tiffany!

God damn it, you listen
to me when I tell you
something!

Do not get into that car.
You are coming with me!

I won't do this to her.
It's the last time. I'll
get a restraining order.

I will restrain you,
you faggot fuck!

I'll tell the court
you molested her!
It's ok, baby.

You cannot take her
away from me!

This is kidnapping.
You're my angel, baby.

I'm gonna come and get
you, I swear to god.

I love you more than anyone!
I'm gonna fucking kill you!

Ohh...

Wait a minute.

I got something
in there.

[Toilet flushes]

Mmm...

What, you're
on your period?

It's really light
this time.

I'm hardly bleeding.

It's not really safe,
though, is it?

Uhh...

I don't have aids,
Barry.

Yeah.

Well, I kinda got
a problem with it.

I mean, if that's
ok with you.

Sure. It's not a problem.

It's what I get
for balling a kid.

What's that
supposed to mean?

Older guys
like the blood.

Well, then why
don't you go fuck
an old guy?

Hey, don't go away mad.

Just...

Go away.

[Chuckles]

Come on, baby,
don't go.

Look, I'm just
in a weird mood.

You're so sensitive.
I gotta split, anyway.

Come on.
I said I'm sorry.

It's ok.

Look, I don't
even usually like

people doing that
to me.

[Laughing]
Oh, fuck.

[Stops whistling
abruptly]

You've got company.

Uh, well, it's ok.

Hi, sweetheart.

This is...My friend.

Ahem. Hi. I was, uh,
just on my way out.

Tiffany:
Who was that?

Rachel: The plumber.

I tried to call,
but it was busy.

Yeah, well, we like
to keep the phone off
the hook around here.

Don't we, baby?

So, who's the guy?

Close
personal friend.

He's a little
underage.

Hey. If they're not
wearing a retainer...

Miranda got
a retainer.

She did?

Her brother put it
on Charlotte rampling
the cat,

and she choked.

Stupid pet tricks,
huh?

Yeah.

So, what are you
up to tonight?

I have
this business thing.

How's the new job,
anyway?

It's all right.
It's sort of what
I'm on my way to now.

Fieldwork.

Well, it's perfect.
She's just what I need.

You saved me
from a date
worse than death.

Thanks, Rachel.
I'll take her to school
in the morning.

Give her some of this.
It's goldenseal.

I think she is
on the verge.

Are you a woman
on the verge?

Say "I love you,"
scheherazade.

I love you,
scheherazade.

Let's build a fire.

[Party music playing]

Well, there he is.

Mr. Go-go.

How are you, Jake?

Freaky collar.

Lou said this would be
industry upscale.

This crowd look
industry upscale
to you?

Not a policy
among 'em.

Why don't we go
to the peninsula?

I'll hang out a while,
check it out.

So, what happened
with the dentist?
Did he make a decision?

Done deal. You get
a commission on that.

I didn't do anything.

Jake horowitz takes
care of his own.

By the way, uh...

This is
a closed gathering.

You're not even
supposed to be here
unless you've HIV.

For real?

Don't get lucky.

Ted Kessler.

Hi.

First time
at the mix?

Uh-huh.

You had
that virgin look.

[Chuckles]

There's good people
here, though.

You know we've had
3 weddings in 6 months?

Mix 'n' match.

Great. Ted, is there
a rest room?

Um...

Thank you.

First chill...

Then stupor.

Then...
The letting go.

You're free
to wash up now.

I'm through
vomiting.

That was Emily Dickinson,
wasn't it?

Really?

You know, she never
r.S.V.P.'D.

"First chill,
then stupor--"

but you know Emily.

Not as well as you.

But I remember her
from college.
What is your name?

Aubrey Jean.

I'm bertie.
Bertie krohn.

I knew that.

A little birdie told me.

Kind of old to be
using a diminutive.

Look at Billy Wilder.

You look at him.

First time at the mix?

No. I'm the mix master.
I live here.

Haven't seen you here
before, though.

I, um, heard
about your parties
at a 12-step.

The Wilshire church.

You know, you're kinda cute.

How long
have you known?

That you're positive?

Oh. 6 months.

Oh, you're a baby.

You?

10 years.

So. What's
your vocation?

What do I do?
I, um, work
at the museum.

Tar pits?

Weisenthal.

Oh...

The holocaust museum.
What do you do?

Acquisitions.

Mommy, I'm sick
of all these people.

I want to go.

You can't go, zeph.
It's our house.

I don't care.

Ooh, hail
the crankmeister.

Stop it!
Ohhh...

My kid's just like that.

Oh, really? How old?

She's 10 now.

It's too noisy.
Put me in the cone
of silence.

Oh. Get sma reruns.

Nickelodeon.

I'll tuck you in.
Come on.

Ah-choo!

Aha. First chill,
then stupor,

then the letting go,
huh?

Not funny.

Yeah, we had a great
showing by a new artist
at the gallery.

Ha ha. He was just--

Mona: Hell's kitchen...
I always thought that
was an imaginary place.

That's my neighborhood.
I'm a street kid.

Very evocative,
like something out of
an American dickens.

Do you have siblings?

Um, I had a brother.

He was killed in a crash.

Oh, I'm sorry.

No, it's all right.

What about your folks?

My father's retired.

He lives
in a little village
in the lake district.

Wordsworth country.

What did he do
for a living?

He was a watchmaker.

Oh.
Mm-hmm.

Arthritis put
an end to that.

His specialty was
"super-complicated"
watches. Ever heard?

What are they?

Well...

First of all,
they're entirely
mechanical.

There's not
a digital bone
in their bodies.

Sacrilege.

Perpetual calendar,
of course.

The thing I like
about them the most

is that they're
what they call
"minute repeaters."

Meaning...?

Meaning they chime.

Chime? You mean like
church bells?

Just press a tiny lever,
and they strike
the hour and minute.

Wow.

If your blue matrix fans
don't approve,

you could always open
a watch shop.

Well, I am
my father's daughter.

I'm not so sure
that's a good thing.

Oh, dear,
have I been very boring?

Not at all.

It's just that...

My guess is things around you
tend to get "super-complicated."

Then he would
approve.

And do you like
complications,
commander krohn?

I try to avoid them,
unless I think there's
going to be chimes.

But not church bells?

I already heard those.

Well, I'm looking
for a simple watch,
sorry to say--

straightforward,
dependable.

Nothing ornate.
A Timex, maybe. Hmm?
Something--

something
that takes a licking,
but keeps on--

oh, dear,
you better scratch that.

I've got a smooth
second hand.

Ah, second hand.

That's
the telling phrase.

I'll not take sloppy
or sweeping seconds.

Rachel:
You've got rapunzel hair,
you know that?

Would you read to me?

What would you
like to hear?

The arabian nights.

Pappy reads me Sinbad.

How about something from...

Leviticus?

What's that?

Just kidding.

I want to hear
a witch story.

Which witch story?

All right.

This is going to be
very Anne rice.

Who's Anne rice?

A strange woman
who lives in New Orleans.

Did you know
that a long time ago

people believed that women
who were having their periods

could turn wine into vinegar?

Were they witches?

Just women.
Like you and me.

At certain times of the month,
if the moon was right,

they could dim mirrors
and kill crops.

And when the moon waned
and the tide rolled out,

they could drive bees
from their hives

and cause mares
to miscarry.

Ooh, I want to have
my period.

All in good time,
my pretty.

It was even said
such women...

Could bring about the death
of a man,

if she wanted.

That's what they believed.

Powerful stuff.

That's why women soak
in a big mikvah

when their period stops.

A mikvah...?

It's a bath...That makes you
all clean again.

Did you take yours today?

Let's go to sleep.

Is my mother a witch?

I don't think so. Why?

She wants pappy to die.

Oh, honey, that's not true.

She said it to him.

People say all kinds of things
when they're unhappy.

Things they don't mean.

I wish you were my mother.

Oh, baby, that is so sweet.

I want to take a mikvah
with you.

[Laughs]

I'm sorry, Sam.
Tell me again.

Well, this way we avoid
an inheritance tax.

You still pay a penalty,
but far less of one.

And I think we should
sell the Jasper Johns.

And I think we should
get rid of the little
rodin at the beach.

We can do it through
Rachel at, uh, vestries.

Why are we talking
about this now?

Perry: Because now
is the time.

Why isn't bertie here?

I'll tell bertie
when I want to tell
bertie

and not before,
and I expect you two
to honor that.

We can do this
another time.

No, let's
get it done, Sam.

I don't want
to leave a mess.

Are you ok?

Fine.

Just washing my hands
40 times a day.

Classic obsessive-compulsive.

Is it time for Prozac,
diantha, or is Prozac passé?

You just need to rest.
You've been overwhelmed.

We all have.

I don't want to make this
just about me.

I didn't sleep much.

Bertie dropped Tiffany off.

So I heard.

That awful woman.

Why he married her
I will never know.

Ha! Couldn't have been
for the drugs and the sex.

He's really gonna die,
isn't he?

Yes.

I can't believe
I'm losing a father...

Again.

[Chimes]

How much is this one?

Jean-christophe:
Le grande
complication?

175,000.

Platinum is 250.

My daughter just got me one
for my birthday,

but it's not quite
as elaborate as this.

For the platinum,
I'd have to make a
few calls to New York.

It's really rather plain,
isn't it?

There are
"complications" far
plainer than this, sir,

at twice the cost.

Well, I'm very interested,
but I'm just not quite
ready to buy.

Of course.

I think I'll get
this gold one, though.

The Tiffany.
It's a lovely piece.

It's from
the twenties.

It's for my wife.

Doesn't chime, does it?

I'm afraid not.

Shall I wrap it
as a gift?

Yes, please.

You see, the auctions
are now open
to the public,

who are not very wise.

I saw a patek
which retails at 35,000

go for 38.

It retails for 35!
It's madness.

Pardon, monsieur.

[Group sings
happy birthday to you]

Rachel: Father.

Rachel.

I brought you a gift.

Aren't you going to open it?

What is it?

It's an eighteenth-century
breguet.

He was the watchmaker
for Napoleon.

Breguet called it
"the stage four."

See the little nodules?

Aah!

Darling, what is it?

It was just a dream.

Oh, it's all right.

I'm so glad you came.

Forgive the mess.
There's so much paperwork
with this job.

What is the job?

What is it
that you do?

We do the tahara...

When the family requests.

It's a big city.
There are only a few of US.

We keep busy.

I don't know exactly
why I'm here.

Can I be frank with you?

I don't think you're here to
talk to me about my painting.

My mother's name
was bernice.

Rabbi gellen was dead set
against this,

but I had to disagree.

I said to myself,
"if she comes, I will tell her."

She isn't a child.

Wh-what is it you know?

You said your parents died
in a crash.

It's not true.

What are you saying?

Your father...

Is he alive?

He murdered her.

What?!

It was common knowledge.

He murdered your mother
and then took his own life.

Liar!

I'm asking you not to shout.

Let me out.

They should have told you.

No.

Someone should have
told you the truth.

You said that you
sat with my mother.

You said you were
with her through
the night.

What did you mean?

I washed her.
That is the tahara.

She was gorgeous.

A mouth just like yours.

All night I sat beside her.

I read the prayers

and reminded her of her name

so that she wouldn't
be confused

when she went before god.

So Charlie's going on and on
about who's going to be there,

how we're gonna fly there
on the studio jet--

yadda yadda yadda--

and all of a sudden I hear
this little voice, you know,

coming from inside my head.

And it's saying, "hey!

"I don't want to go to Aspen
for the sixth year in a row.

I want to go to St. Bart's."

Rachel: Diantha?

Uh, Carol, would you
excuse me for a moment?

Yeah.

Rachel?

I need to talk.

What is it?
What's the matter?

Is it Perry?

Rachel, we always
planned on sharing it
with you,

but by the time
you were older--

sharing?!

It just feels so punitive,
so humiliating.

Do you really think you
would have wanted all
the details, Rachel?

Is it any better
now that you know?

Yes, it's fucking better!
Yes, it is, god damn it!

It's the old movie-of-the-week
cliche, isn't it?

The shrink who tells her
patients "secrets kill."

And here we are,
all these years, living a lie.

We were trying
to protect you, Rachel.

We were left behind
to deal with the agony

your father had created.

The shambles.

Do you know
how close they were?

Do you have any idea
how many people
Leonard disfigured

by his selfish act?

Perry wanted...

We needed to cut
the ties to the past.

Don't you understand?

I understand I was lied to.

All the way around.

Don't you bring it up
with him!

I'm telling you not to!
[Car engine starts]

Rachel,
don't you talk to him!

[Car drives away]

Philip?

Jake's here.

You won the lotto.

[Laughs weakly]

How are you?

Yesterday
was better.

Yesterday was
definitely better.

Philip:
As David Bailey
once said,

"there's nothing
as ugly as the sight
of 4 men in a car."

Maybe 4 men in a car
with kaposi.

Mister horowitz
has brought US a check.

Mmm! Loving that.

I heard you're planning
a little voyage.

Who's your sidekick,
Jake?

That's pretty rude.

Horowitz: I'm sorry.

Bertie krohn.

Perry's boy?

Yes.

I was the costume designer
on blue matri for 5 years.

Bertie: Really?

You're an actor, aren't you?

Occasionally.

I'd like a word
with mister krohn,

sotto voce.

I'd appreciate it if you didn't
tell your father about this.

He'd never forgive me
for not coming to him.

Your secret is safe.

He's one of the few
people I know

who can make a person
feel guilty for
not asking for money.

It always hurt him that you
didn't want to do his show.

He knows it's crap
on one level.

But on another,
he's quite proud.

Perhaps now...

In this "last season"...

They canceled blue matrix?

Ah, excuse me.
Can I help you?

Is Perry
on the soundstage?

Who are you?
His son.

Oh, he's by the truck,
but I think he's in a meeting.

Is he expecting you?

Perry: This scene
is going to need
an entire rewrite.

Give it to Jack.

Bertie?

Would you excuse me
a moment?

Sure.

How long have you known?

Since my birthday.

Does everyone else--
did you tell Rachel?

Yes.

Ah, Jesus!

Why have you kept this
from me?

I admire you, bertie.

I've been a complete
failure as a father

in so many ways.

You haven't been...

You've had your problems.

But I just--i envy
your mind, your facility.

You know, if it hadn't
been for your mother,

I never would have made it
through college. I didn't
have your quickness.

And I think my whole life--

my career in television

just embarrassed me somehow.

Come on. You have done
great work.

Look how popular the show is.

I wanted to be more for you.

I wanted to be a poet.
I wanted to be a novelist.

I'm over it.

You know, when they
told me about the cancer,

believe it or not, the first
thing I thought of was,

how am I gonna tell my son?

I felt so ashamed.

I felt the same way
I'd always feel

when I'd see you
give me that look--

you know that look
that I was falling short
in your eyes?

This is nuts.

Once upon a time,

an angry man
dragged his father
along the ground

through
his own orchard.

"Stop!" cried
the groaning old man
at last.

"Stop!

I did not
drag my father
beyond this tree."

[Set call bell rings]

Did you talk to them?

I talked to her.
Diantha.

She's a therapist.

It's funny,
the woman's in total denial

about being a Jew.

I mean, I'm not
into it either,

but at least I don't
pretend to be some
presbyterian.

We're so different.

I talk about myself
all the time.

She's a professional
listener, always in control.

Diantha said they
didn't tell me because
I was too fragile.

In grade school
I used to hear things--

voices.

I called them whispers.

They sent me to a shrink.

Then later...

When I did graduate
work in england--

I went to Oxford
on a Grant.

I know I don't really
look the part.

I studied coleridge
and kabbala before
either were hip.

And, uh, I had...

Uh, kind of a, I guess
you could call it
a psychotic break.

A shattering
of the vessels
and all that.

I was in the hospital
for a month.

But now...

I feel like I'm getting
closer to finding out...

Can you tell me more
about the ritual?

We're supposed to do
the washing with
rainwater

or freshly melted snow.

Sometimes in
southern California
that's a little impractical.

The skin of the body
has always been compared

to the parchment
of the torah.

A body without life is
like a damaged scroll.

We can't use it anymore.

But still we honor it.

I would like to learn

to do what you did
for my mother.

So...

This is a nice place, huh?

I think celebrities
come here.

Oooh.

[Laughs]

So, um...

What did you want to confess?

Um...

I've known a lot
of people who are...

HIV positive,
but I am not myself.

You're kidding, right?

I've lost a lot of
people to the disease.

I just...

When I saw you
at the party,
I was attracted to you.

And when you asked, "how
long have you known?"

It threw me.

Mm-hmm.

And I...Suddenly felt
like some fucked-up
party crasher.

I think I was there
because I was depressed.

Oh, and you thought that...

Hanging out with US pozzies
might cheer you up, right?

That's not what I meant.

Mm-hmm.

No, I mean, it makes sense,
see, 'cause...

You're depressed,
but, hey, we're dying!

So you know...

No, I mean, it's ok.

I--i--i think that you
were probably just...

Singles night bottom-feeding,
you know.

It's ok.

It doesn't make you
a bad guy.

I guess this means you
don't work at the weisenthal
either, huh?

I've been there.

Oh, I see.
But I don't work there.

Ah.
I'm an actor.

Oh. That's kind of like
being HIV, I guess.

Jeez, my date
with a sociopath.

[Laughs]

So how long
have you been sober?

Or is that a lie, too?

No, I just
took my 5-year chip.

Ah, well, people tend
to get a little squirrely
around 5 years.

I know I did.

Can I ask you
something personal?

Mm-hmm.

Do you know, uh...

Do you know
how you got it?

Oh, you want me
to run my story, huh?

Not if you
don't feel like it.

No, no, if it can help
just one person.

Um...i had been married.
To a lawyer.

He did ok. He was...

A Tom Hayden-type.

We had tried having kids...
Forever. It wasn't happening.

So, uh, he decided
to move onto something

a little more...

Fertile.

Um, I dated around.
Met a guy through my brother.

I wasn't really looking,

but zev--my brother--

pushed it.

He felt that I should
be with someone, so...

Lawrence, uh, was a film editor,
a sweet man.

He was working on one
of my brother's films.

Zev is a real Hollywood...

Mucky-muck.

I was needy, to put it mildly:

Sexually, emotionally,
whatever.

Naturally,
I got pregnant right away.

Lawrence used
to sweat at night.

He used to sweat a lot.

I thought
it was the sex.

He was so
attracted to me.

After he died I found out
that he was into men.

And he had been
with my brother,

as it turned out.

Jesus.

That's why zev
matched US up.

He was tired of him.

Hilarious.

Yeah.

My brother...

Used to torture me
when we were kids.

Physically.

Sometimes I think that zev
knew that Lawrence was...

My brother is
a very sick fuck.

[Clears throat]

Anyway, Zephyr--

you met Zephyr--
was born negative,

so something
went right.

Care for a pill?

They do look
sort of appetizing.

This one will put hair
on your liver.

What if it breaks?

It's not going
to break.

What if I take it off?

[Sigh] You can't--
you can't
take it off.

Why? What would happen?

Nothing.

Would I get it?
Come on.

No.

I like that you have it.

Would you give it to me?

Bertie, wait.

There...

There.

Come on.

Come on. Come on.

[Voices...whispering]

Fearfully,
beautifully made.

Fearfully,
beautifully made.

Fearfully,
beautifully made.

Fearfully,
beautifully made.

Fearfully,
beautifully made.

Fearfully,
beautifully made.

Darling,
i--I'm sorry,
I'm losing you.

What? Rachel,
put your doctor on.

Sweetheart,
I'm coming.

Is my daughter here,
Rachel krohn?

Darling?

Hi.

Did you know there
are 613 commandments
in the Bible?

613.
Doesn't that seem
a little arbitrary?

Rachel,
what happened?

Well, I don't know.
I got sad.

I think
I had a discharge
of blood.

Leviticus tells US
when a woman bleeds,

she shall remain
in her impurity
for 7 days,

and whoever touches her
shall be unclean
until morning.

Anything she lies on
during her impurity
shall be unclean,

and anything
she sits on
shall be unclean.

Isn't that bizarre?

Rachel, have you
taken anything?

Any cocaine,
amphetamines?

I need to know
if you're having
a reaction.

Excuse me,
I'm Dr. Agarwal.

Can I have a word?

You're the mother?

Yes,
I'm Dr. Krohn.

How do you do?
Does she have
any history?

Well, she had
some problems
years ago.

Is she taking
medication?

Paxil and Xanax,
I think.

She complained
of spotting.

Of course I didn't
examine her.

It's fairly clear
she's decompensating.

I think your daughter
needs to be hospitalized.

I will be
the judge of that.

Diantha.

What is it, baby?

Would you take me
to trancas?

I want to tell you
about her.

I've been
taking classes.

Learning how
to wash the dead.

How's that one
for the resume?

There's all kinds of
rules and regulations.

Melanctha says you're
supposed to use
melted snow.

Don't you just love that?

Rachel,
let's go back.

Tap water's a no-no.
Tap water makes
all the maidens miscarry.

It's so trippy.

They wrap you
in a gorgeous shroud,

sewn by the hands
of a woman

past the age
of menopause.

Did you know that a woman
is considered unclean

if when her cycle ends
the rabbi finds a stain

the size of a circle
19 millimeters in diameter?

I'm not making
that part up, I swear.

Rachel,
you need to sleep.

Come stay with me
a couple of days.

I'll take care
of you.

Diantha,
what was she like?

My mother?

I didn't know her
very well.

You know what you are?
You're a cunt.

You didn't like her,
did you?

She was wild.

You never talk about her.

Diantha...

Did you think
she was fearfully,
beautifully made?

Rachel, I hate to
see you this way!

I hate to see you!

They had an affair,
didn't they?
My mother and Perry.

Diantha, tell me.
Did they have an affair?
I have to know!

Rachel, please--

don't you
fucking lie to me!

Don't make me
tell you.

And don't you
fucking make me beg!

I just want you
to tell me.

Yes.

Tell me!

Yes, Perry
and your mother
were together.

They were together.

Thank you for sharing.

[Door opens and closes]

Hi, bertie.
I'm so sorry
I'm late.

It's just been
crazy.

That's cool.
How's your dad?

He's well.

You know,
we just don't get
to see him anymore.

I'm really glad
you could come in.

You had a chance to
look at the sides?

Uh-huh.
I was up all night.

Ok, let's get to it.

From "commander,
the instruments
are frozen"?

Uh, yeah.
What page is that?

32.
Oh, ok.

Commander,
the instruments
are frozen.

Then unfreeze them.
Damage report.

Very little, sir.
Mostly electrical.

Warp plasma
inducers?

Intact. That's what
I can't understand.

It's as if we're
stuck in molasses.

Can you bypass?

No, sir.
We're overheating
as it is.

Cabin pressure's
climbing.

Realign
the power grid.

We've got
to shut her down.

We're being sucked
into a vortex.

But how? Who?
Who is pulling US?

It seems we're being
appropriated by
a vorbalidian system.

Do you know
the meaning of it?

In vorbalidian
rules of conduct,

there's only one meaning
possible--

it's a declaration
of war.

Woman: Sharon,
I've got joanie.
Can you jump on 3?

I'll call back.

I'm sorry.
That was great.

I liked
your urgency.

Let's add
another layer.

[Whispers]
Mommy loves you.

Where's Tiffany?
Sleepover?

She's with a sitter.

He's
a beautiful boy.

Zephyr.
Where'd you get
the name?

There was this train,
the California Zephyr.

We rode it out here
from Chicago
when I was a kid.

The one with
the dome cars?

You got it.

Tell me something.

I know
it's a ways off,
but...

I really
need to know.

What do you want
for Christmas?

I want to live.

Seriously.

I am serious.

Why, what do you want?
I'll go pick it up
for you.

What do I want?

An idea, with
a red ribbon.

One big fucking idea
that will take me
out of myself.

Well, that's noble.

Why don't you get me...

A sickle and a hood?

Death by Donna karan.

Remember that film where
death leads those people
in a dance on the hill?

Was that babe?
The movie
with the pig?

Bergman. The seventh seal.

Bergman's
been debunked.

And there was
this amazing scene--

I think
it was in that--

where they
burn this woman
at the stake.

She was very
Jean seberg,

like a wolf
with blonde hair.

And the look in her eyes
when they set fire
to the wood.

Christian martyrs
are so hot.

You joke a lot, you know.

This waiter walks up
to a horse,

he's sitting
in a nightclub.

He looks at him
and he says,

"I know I can't
make you drink,

but you'll have to
put on this jacket."

It's a little exhausting,
plus it makes me...Nervous.

Ok, you're right.
No more jokes.

I've got something
very serious.

I love you.

Don't fuck around.

I'm not
fucking around.

Well...

I don't really want to
hear your little...

Proclamations.

Hey, hey, hey,
what's wrong?

Do you think I have
some romantic
fucking disease?

I don't know
what you're raging
about here.

I just said
I loved you.

Oh, and this great gift
of love you have

is just gonna make
everything all better.

The magic bullet
of your cock

is just gonna hose
all the shit
off the sidewalk.

Let me tell you something.
One day...

My son is gonna
crawl out of bed,

and I'm not gonna
be here anymore.

Do you understand that?

Yeah, I understand.

We never talk about it.
You ever notice that?

You never ask me anything.

Did you know that
I probably have cmv?

I don't know
what that is.

Right, you don't even know.
What is that?

You know,
I don't know what
this is about for you.

Is this some surrogate
death trip that you're on?

Some erotic thriller?

I don't want
to argue, Aubrey.

I don't even know
what this is about.

What it's about is
that I'm gonna go blind
in like a month.

They're gonna give me
a shunt, for meds.

And my kid is gonna see
mommy walking
around the house

with a tube in her arm.
That's what it's about.

I'm sorry, Aubrey.

You're sorry?!

What the fuck do
you want me to say?!

God damn it.

Motherfucker,
motherfucker.

Wait, baby, wait.
Hold on, hold on.

Stay with me.

This isn't gonna work.

Don't say that,
don't say that.

What do you want?

I want you...
To love me.

You don't listen.

I'll listen, baby.
Say it again.

Say it. Say it!

I love you.

Say it again.

I love you.
I love you.

I love you.

[Voices whispering]

[Telephone rings]

[Ring ring]

Shit.

[Ring]

Hello?

Yes. Melanctha?

I'm sorry
I called so late.

It's a child.
I didn't know until now.

I hope it's all right.

A child?

What happened?

A car crash. Not gory.

You'll receive a fee
for your services.

Around $45.

Pick a charity,
we'll make the donation.

That's the way we do it.

Melanctha,
I don't know if i--

watch me.
Follow what I do.

You'll be fine.

Are you all right?

We keep the body
covered for dignity.

We pour over the sheet.

We always begin washing
on the right side.

We start with the face.

No.

Baby.

[Groans]

Aaaah!

Rachel, Rachel,
don't leave her
like that.

I can't.

Honor this child,
Rachel.

You don't know.

Honor her as
you would your mother.

Tiffany? How?

How, Tiffany? How?

If I descend
up into heaven,
thou art there.

If I make my bed in hell,
behold, thou art there.

If I take the wings
of the morning,

and dwell in the outermost
parts of the sea,

thou hast possessed
my reins.

Thou hast covered me
in my mother's womb.

I will praise thee,
for I am fearfully,
beautifully made.

Marvelous are thy works,

and that my soul
knoweth right well.

I've been eating
painkillers all week.

I haven't talked to anyone,
not even Aubrey.

I was gonna call you
when it happened,
but I couldn't.

Everything got slow
and really strange.

I thought if
I didn't tell anyone,

that I could weather
this thing

and she might
really not be dead.

Did you know she was
with her mother?

Lidia came by,
scared the hell
out of the baby-sitter.

The poor baby-sitter
is in pieces.

Said she wanted to
take Tiffany to dinner.

Chuck E. Cheese.
She insisted.

She was loaded?

The coroner said
that it would take
a couple of weeks yet,

for the tests.

She planned it.

She did it on purpose,
for revenge.

Oh, bertie.

I'm gonna go away
for a little while.

Where?

The desert.

I want to go somewhere
hot and windy and weird.

When are you going?

Soon.

[Knocks]

Aubrey?

"Love delivers."

[Toilet flushes]

Who are you?

A friend of Aubrey's.

Your name?

We know each other?

I'm her brother
zev.

I think you should
identify yourself.

Are you
a cat burglar?

Are you
the sparkletts man?

I'm bertie,
bertie krohn.

Bertie krohn.

Would bertie krohn
have any news
about my nephew?

No.

What happened?

Aubrey put Zephyr
with friends

when she went
in the hospital.

The only trouble is,
she didn't say who.

Doesn't that
blow your mind?

Clarissa...
2 minutes.

Is she ok?

No, she isn't.
She's not ok.

She is so not ok.

What hospital?

She's not
taking visitors.

Look, just tell me
where she is.

Fuck all that.
Would you do me
a favor?

Let me know if
you hear anything
about the boy?

I'd be grateful.
We're very
concerned.

Really?

You can call me
at the studio.
There's a reward.

Yeah.

Is rico here?

Rico?

Waste king?

I was looking
for Aubrey wicker.

Oh, I thought you were
the compactor guy.

I went to her house.
Her brother said she
was in the hospital.

He wouldn't
tell me where.

What's your name?

Bertie krohn.
I'm a friend.

Ah, wait a minute,
you're the actor.

Yeah, she told me
about you.

Let's go outside and talk.

You can watch me
smoke a cigarette.

We're going
black tie tonight.

Yet another
celebrity-strewn

pediatric aids
hoedown.

The h.I.V.I.P.S just
can't get enough.

What happened to her?

She's toxo.

What?

Toxoplasmosis.

Cranial parasites.

She had this fucked-up rash
that wouldn't go away.

They thought that
it was, you know,
a side effect

of the shit
they were giving her
for her eyes.

And she got pcp pneumonia.
Everything just went.

What about her kid?

The brother-monster
wants to raise that boy

as an act of
demoniac retribution.

After Lawrence died,
he tried to get
custody of zeph.

Aubrey knew that
the minute she lost it,

he would swoop down like
some fucked-up monkey god.

That's why
she took precautions.

Where is he? Where--

I love how people
think that this disease
is, like, over.

Where's the boy?

Sorry, Dr. Smislow,

but I'm really
not at Liberty
to discuss this.

That's from 2001,
remember?

You know,
when the reporters
are asking

about the quarantine
on clavius?

Hey, if I hear anything
I'll get in touch.

I'll call your agent.

Ciao.

Oh, there she is.

That was lovely.

[Purrs]

Mmm, cat lady.

And what's this?

That's
the funny thing
about presents--

you have
to open them up
to find out.

Ok.

Oh, god.

Oh, Perry, they're
painfully beautiful.

Thank you.

That tiny
little girl.

It's hard to imagine
her being taken away
like that.

Horrible.

You know,
bertie was out
of town once,

and she stayed
with US.

She had
the chicken pox.

Diantha and I
were away at
a concert in Ojai.

When we got back
we found her standing
on the porch,

running her hands
over a bush.

I asked her
what she was doing,

and she said she'd
accidentally ruined
a spider web,

and she was
trying to put it
back together

before the spider
returned.

You know
what she said?

"Well, it's better
than coming home
to nothing."

You know,
I bought you
something

the day
after I met you.

It's purely
on impulse,

but, uh, I didn't
give it to you.

It's a pocket watch.

The kind they give
for retirement?

Yeah, my sentiments
exactly.

You were going
to wait until we did
the dirty deed

and then present it
to me for 50 minutes
of loyal service.

Do you know
what you are?

You're
a black-hearted
Pearl of a girl.

Anybody ever
told you that?

Oh, maybe
a vorbalid or 2.

Well, I couldn't
give it to you.

It seems
kind of tacky.

I don't need anything.

Perry, I like you
just fine.

Well, I'll
give it away.

Some homeless person's
going to be
very happy tonight.

I adore you.

You do?

Yes, I do.
Thank you
for today.

Thanks
for every day.

Thank you.

Please take care
of yourself.

It's been a terrible blow,
and you need time to mend.

Life goes on.

Yeah.

I'll see you.

Yeah.

Ensign rattweil,
why have you concealed
your royal bloodline

from the crew?

Was it humility...

Or was it
overweening pride?

Commander,
you cannot know
what it is like

to be born
a prince

and yet know
in your heart
that you are not.

Rather, you are
a foot soldier
of mediocre stamina,

little ambition,
and less vision.

In a word,
an ensign.

That,
I have become,

and that,
I always will be.

True.

I cannot know
how that feels.

But nor can you know
how it feels to awaken
every morning

a silly frightened girl
who must convince herself

she's the commander
of a starship.

Man: And cut!

Thanks, guys.
Let's move on.

[Sighs]

Thank you.

Bertie,
you got a moment?

Perry told me
about the tragedy.

I'm so sorry.

I'm a big fan,
by the way.

That's very sweet.

You know, you're quite good.

You really made that scene
come alive.

He's very happy
you're doing the show.

Have you known
each other awhile?

No, not really.

But I know how excited he was
about your guest-starring

because he talked about it.

Well, it's been
a pleasure.

May you wander
and wonder
with the stars.

Wake me
for my closeup.

[Knocking on door]

Man: Bertie!

Bertie!

[Banging on door]

Bertie!

You won the lotto.

Hey,
good to see you.

Can I get you
anything?

I'm cool.

A beer, something?

When are you coming back
to work, sport?

Oh, I don't think
I can hack it, Jake.

Well, it's not
for everyone.

What's this?

It's your commission
on the dentist deal.

I really
appreciate that.

You know, whatever you do,
you should go back to work.

Some kind of work.

You don't want to have
a lot of free time.

I know.
I've lost a few people.

Thanks for the tip.

Take a plane somewhere,
spend a few dollars.

Go to Greece and
look up the boys, huh?

Our friend Philip
didn't make it that far.

He died?

Already?

Wow.

You're gonna love this.

Reginald--remember him?
The boyfriend?

He, uh, took the money,

hopped on a concorde
with his big black lover

to Paris and points beyond.

Cold-blooded.

Until that happened,
Phil was in great shape.

See, they always get better
after the buyout.

It's the money, honey.

Pressures ease,
spirits rise,

a cure's on the horizon.

Son of a bitch
stole the money.

48 hours later,
Philip swallowed
a shitload of pills.

Overdosed.

Did you tell the dentist
what happened?

Had to. Insurance company's
gonna contest the claim.

Commission's nonrefundable.

What a rat-fuck.

Here we were hoping that
Philip would die in Greece
in Reggie's arms

while the sun went down
on a ruin,

but these are the vagaries
of our business.

Take care of yourself,
Bertram.

You change your mind,
you give me a call.

I'll put you back to work
in a left-coast minute.

What's a left-coast
minute?

I have no fuckin' idea.

[Door closes]

Did you come to see
me or diantha?

You haven't exactly been
cordial since your revelation.

I didn't kill anybody,
Rachel.

No?

What's that
supposed to mean?

I know you slept
with my mother.

Did diantha
tell you that?

I understand...

Why she kept it from me
all these years,

to be humiliated like that,
then end up co-conspirator.

I don't want to judge her.

You'll save that
for me, huh?

She made her decision
to stay in this house

and lived with
the repercussions.

But you...

I took you in,
Rachel.

We took you in.

Praise the lord.

We clothed you
and fed you
and loved you.

How you must have
hated him.

It's like
television strindberg.

You fucked his wife
and stole his child.

You wiped my father
off the face of the earth.

No, I did not.

You disgust me.

You still can't
talk about it, can you?

With everything
that's happened this year,

you still can't come clean.

Your mother was
a very unhappy woman.

Oh, please.

Leonard was not
an easy man
to live with.

He heard voices.

Whispers,
like you used to.

Only with Leonard,
they were shouts.

Shouts of an obscene,
very pissed-off god.

They had him on pills.

There was a doctor
looking after him,

a member
of the congregation.

But his problems weren't
paid attention to

because he became famous
for his singing.

His singing
was so beautiful,

people came to services
just to hear him.

But he grew possessive
of bernice.

He started
to deteriorate.

He accused her
of having affairs.

You're not going to tell me
it didn't happen.

She was just all
feeling, your mother.

Leonard and I married
the wrong women, Rachel.

Bernice was just
too sensitive
for Leonard.

She needed protection.
I didn't.

Diantha's talents
could have been put
to better use.

As it is,
they were mostly wasted.

Did you love her?

Diantha?

My mother.

No.

How long did it last
between you?

We were only together
one time.

She was desperate.

She was gonna
leave him,

but she wanted to wait
till you were born.

She didn't feel safe
anymore.

The one time
it happened,

she was
6 months pregnant.

She had this
sweet little belly.

That was you inside.

Oh, god.

I'm sorry.

I can't undo
what happened.

I keep telling myself
that things would have
ended badly,

no matter
what choice I made.

I have to think that.

But there was
never any hesitation
in doing what we did.

We loved you then.

We love you now.

TV: Ensign rattweil,
it was indeed an honor
to have been your commander.

I shall always think of you
as a prince.

I thank you for your
kindness, commander.

You never sat
in judgment.

It was a privilege
to have known you.

May you wander...

And wonder...

With the stars.

[Knock on door]

Can you keep him
for a few days

until I make
some arrangements?

Not a problem.

Rico.

She's dead?

A couple of days ago.

I got a call from someone in
the brother-monster's office

alerting me to her passing.

Such a kindness.

Listen,
I'll take care
of Zephyr.

The woman who was supposed
to take him is in jail.

Can you fucking
believe it?

The fascists put her in jail
for sheltering kids.

He could stay with me,

but the brother-monster's
watching my house.

The police are into it now.
It's serious.

Aubrey's being sick
was never real to me.

She used to bust me
on that.

I've been telling myself
I didn't go see her

because I didn't want
to be needy.

That isn't true.

When Tiffany,
my little girl, died,

I went to this...
Dead zone.

The landscape where
there are no people.

You can't say good-bye
from there.

You can't thank anyone.

I mean, it's all just
one long good-bye,
isn't it?

Ciao.

Lidia: You cannot
take her away from me!

You're my angel, baby.
I'm gonna come and get you.

I swear to god.
I love you more than anyone.

I'm gonna
fucking kill you!

Tiffany: Pappy!

Oh, god.

Rachel washed me in a tub.

Bertie...

I wanted to say good-bye.

First chill, then stupor...

Then the letting go.

Not funny.

Say "I love you,"
scheherazade.

Aah!

Mama! Mama!

No!

It's ok.

Mama?

Your mama's not here, baby.
It's bertie.

Where is she?

She's with friends.
Rico brought you.

He'll be back.

Where's rico?

I want my mama!

I know you do.
I know.

"Stop!" cried
the groaning old man,
at last.

"Stop!

I did not
drag my father
beyond this tree."

What's that?

Rachel,
there's something
I never told you.

I know what happened
to your parents,

what your father did.

I don't remember exactly
how I found out.

I guess I overheard
something.

It was a long time ago.

I don't know why
I never told you.

It doesn't matter,
bertie.

It doesn't matter.

When they told me
that Tiffany was dead,

I remembered
that weird detail
about your mother,

that they'd washed her.

And I wanted that
for my little girl.

I wanted her
to be clean.

I wanted...

This world
to be washed away.

Oh, bertie.

I was so fucking
amazed and glad
that you were there.

Rachel.

If you need anything--

anything--

you better call,
promise?

I promise.

Till you
get on your feet.

I'll come visit.

Find US a ranch
so we can ride horses.

Stay out of the nuthouse,
will ya?

Could be tough.

Oh, shit!
I forgot your present.

What?

There was
a costume designer
on dad's show.

Phil dagrom.

When he died,
he left it to dad.

Dad gave it to me.

It reminds me of her.

A Tiffany.

Conductor:
Everybody aboard!

You better go.

Last train
to clarksville,
you know.

Rachel...

Am I insane?

Yes.

Come on, zeph.

All aboard.

If I take
the wings of the morning

and dwell in the uttermost
parts of the sea,

even there
shall thy hand lead me

and thy right hand
shall hold me.

Thou has covered me
in my mother's womb,

I will praise thee,

for I am fearfully,
beautifully made.

Captioning made possible by
lions gate films