I'm Dreaming of a White Doomsday (2017) - full transcript

Ooh, how
'bout this right here?

Put that there.

Where're we gonna
put granny's ornament?

- Ooh, how 'bout right
there next to the garland?

Do you think Santa's
gonna like it?

- Of course I do.

I think he's gonna love it.

- Yeah, yeah, I think
he's gonna love it.

It's got a uh, sort of
a, a post-modern look.

Yes, I think he's really
going to enjoy it.

Hey, you can't have those.



Those are for santa.

- What?

Come on.

- You know that Santa
gets first pick,

every single year.

- I do.

I do know this,

and that is why I also know

that these ones here
are his favorite,

so this doesn't really matter.

- I heard that Santa's
having a really hard time

fitting into his suit this year.

- 'Cause he's fat?

Yeah,



we've gotta watch
over those cookies.

- Yeah.

- Hey.

- You know what else?

I think that it
snowed last night.

- Can I go out and
play in the snow?

- Hmm, well, let me see.

Let me think about that.

Of course.

- Yes.

- But, I think you
should ask daddy

to go out and play with you,

after he's done
chewing this cookie.

- I would like to play
in the snow with you,

but I'm supposed
to build a snowman.

That's right.

- Right, and I don't have
anyone to build it with,

and I need someone
else to build it with.

Do you know anyone that
can build a snowman?

- I can.

- You could build
a snowman with me?

Well, then let's go.

Let's do it, put
your clothes on.

- Okay, well you two
have fun, all right?

But bundle up, or you'll
both turn into snowmen.

Riley.

Riley, you forgot your hat.

Riley!

- Mommy, I'm hungry.

- Okay, hun.

I'll make us some
dinner, all right?

All right.

- Simon, please.

Are you crazy?

You can't go out there again.

I don't have a choice.

- You're gonna get
yourself killed.

- I'll be fine.

That's set to channel two, okay?

Don't open that door for anyone

until you hear
from me, all right?

- Okay.

Wait.

What about Riley?

He needs you.

And I need you.

- What we need is supplies.

We can't sit around down here,

waiting for some magic
solution to show up,

'cause it's not comin',

and if I don't go out there

and get us food and water,

we're dead anyway.

It's just,

I can't, I can't,

I can't do this.

Why are
you crying, mommy?

- Honey, it's okay.

Here, come.

Come here, give me a hug.

Oh boy.

Look, daddy just,

he's gotta go away
for a little while.

Okay?

- Listen.

I do, I have to go
out for a little bit,

but I'll be back
real soon, all right?

- Where do you have to go?

- Well, I gotta go
out and get more food,

and maybe some clothes.

What do you think?

- And toys?

- Of course.

And toys, of course.

But,

listen, I need you to do
me a favor, all right?

While I'm gone, I need you
to be the man of the house.

You know, take care of
your mom while I'm away.

Think you can do that?

- Yes.

- Yeah?

Promise?

I know you can.

Come here.

I love you, buddy.

I really do.

All right.

I'll be back.

I'm comin' back, I promise.

You better.

I love you.

- I love you too.

- Be careful.

Please be careful.

Hey, hun.

What you drawing there?

- This is our house,
you, and me, and daddy.

- Oh yeah, but wait a minute.

What's wrong with
our heads there?

- Those are our funny masks.

- Oh, I see.

Well, it's coming along nicely.

- When can I go outside to play?

- I'm really sorry, honey,

but we can't go
outside right now.

We have to wait until things
get better out there, okay?

- How long will that take?

- Well, I don't really know,

but how 'bout this?

In the meantime, you can
draw me another picture,

of a robot.

- Yes.

- I know they're
you're favorite.

Boom, pow, bam.

Pow.

- I'm here to protect
you from the bad guys.

- Well, I'm feeling
safer already,

but I can't help but feel
a little underdressed.

- Well, here's your armor.

- Oh, thank you.

And here's your weapon.

- Thank you, Sir Riley.

- Argh, matey.

There be a rough sea ahead.

- Ay, but Captain Riley,

where be the buried treasure?

- Over there.

But it's guarded by a pumpkin
head and his sidekick.

You'll never get
pumpkin-head's treasure.

- Riley, take that
off right now.

- I'm sorry, mommy.

I was just playing.

- No, I'm sorry, honey.

I didn't mean to yell.

I just really don't
like that mask, okay?

It's too scary.

Will you put it back
in the box, please?

- What are these for?

I want you
to hold on to them.

In case things get bad.

- Take that.

Blow, I blowed your house up.

Oh, yes, I blew
your other house up.

What are you doing, mommy?

- I just need to go outside

to get more food for us.

- But I'm scared.

- Oh, honey, don't be scared.

It'll be all right.

- But you're not gonna
come home, like daddy.

- Yes I am, honey, I promise.

I'm coming back.

I just, I really need you
to be brave right now, okay?

It's really important.

Can you do that for mommy?

Come here.

Oh, honey.

Oh, honey.

I love you more
than anything, okay?

Oh, god.

It'll be okay, I promise, okay?

It'll be okay.

- Mommy, I'm scared.

When are you and
daddy coming home?

- Oh, no.

Oh my god.

Oh my god.

Okay.

Okay.

- Please.

You have to help me.

- Oh my god.

What happened to you?

- Derek.

He just,

oh god.

My brother Derek and I were
looking for a place to camp,

and it just came out of nowhere.

Derek shot at it,

but it just kept
coming, and the,

I could hear him screaming.

Even through his
mask I could hear it.

I just sat here.

I just sat here

and listened to my
brother get torn apart.

- Can you walk?

- My leg, it's not good.

- I'm sorry.

I have a son.

- Fuck!

You can't leave me here.

Come back.

No, please.

Come back.

- Ow.

Let's see what we've got.

- Can we listen to
Santa music, mommy?

- You know what?

I think we might
be able to do that.

Let me see.

All right, let's see this.

All right, and it sounds.

Good?

All right, fingers crossed.

Oh.

I'm sorry, hun,
there's no batteries.

I don't know what to tell you.

Okay.

Let's see if that works.

There we go.

- And there.

- All right.

- And there.

And in the middle, there.

All right.

- And down here.

Okay.

Take that.

Last one, okay.

Yeah.

Good job.

- It's perfect.

- Yes it is,

but, mister, you better
start your letter to Santa,

because it's
Christmas Eve already.

- Yes.

Done.

But how do we get it to the
North Pole without the mailman?

- Well, I know a
very special way,

but you have to write,
"To the North Pole"

on the outside of the letter,
so it doesn't get lost.

Okay, well, normally we would
need a chimney to do this,

but I think this is
gonna work out just fine.

Okay, can you hold that?

And get a match.

All right.

You ready for this?

You know, it is Christmas Eve.

How would you like
to open one present?

- Yes.

It's Melvin.

You found him.

- Well, he is your
favorite, right?

Yeah, he's the
boss of the toxic crusaders.

- Oh wow.

Merry Christmas, honey.

I love you.

- I love you too.

- You know, I have
one more surprise.

I hope you saved
room for dessert.

- Cookies!

- Those are all for you, honey.

- I'm not gonna stop fighting
until you lose and I win.

Hah!

- Hey, hey honey?

It's time for bed, okay?

We need to get to sleep
or Santa's not gonna come.

- Can Melvin come too?

- Um, I think we can make
some room for a crusader.

- He's a toxic crusader.

- Well, I think
we could make room

even for a toxic crusader, okay?

Let's get to bed.

- Do you think Santa will be
able to find us down here?

- Of course I do, honey.

Santa's magic.

He can find us no matter
where we are, okay?

So don't even worry about that.

In the morning,
when you wake up,

you're gonna have so many
toys and so many presents

you're not gonna
know where to start.

- Will daddy be there too?

- Yeah, yeah.

And daddy'll be there
when we wake up,

and we'll all be together again.

And it'll be just like
it used to be, okay?

Get some sleep.

- I love you, mommy.

- I love you too.

I love you too honey.

Sleep tight.

Don't let the bed bugs bite.

How did you get this
much fuzz all over you?

What were you doing,
rolling on the floor?

No.

Can you,
can you, like, sit up?

What do you
think, it's 111, 112?

Degrees in here?

Oh my god,

seriously?
- That's normal, right?

- Right, can you, can
you work with me here?

Just, can you sit
up straight please?

Can't we just get this done?

- Come on guys, get it together.

- I don't wanna
wear this anymore.

- Look, granny spent a lot
of time making this for you,

so you're gonna wear it

and your gonna like
it, you understand?

- But it's itchy.

- Look, I know.

I know it's itchy.

Come on, we gotta get this
picture taken for granny,

and then we're done and
it's over and that's it.

- Yeah, and we'll never
hear the end of it.

- Seriously?

- No, no.

- I can't.

- I didn't say a word.

- Ow.

- Oh boy, don't
you look festive.

- Okay.

- Wow.

- But I still think
there's something missing.

I know.

- Now what is this?

Oh, god, come on.

- What do you think, mom?

Has dad been naughty or nice?

- Don't do this.

- Oh, sounds naughty to me.

What do you think?

- Naughty.

- Come on, man, no.
- Let's see, yeah, definitely,

definitely naughty, yeah.
- That's fine.

That's good.
- Yeah, definitely naughty.

Okay.

This is fine.

- Go.

- Got some hair there.

Perfect.

- This is a good time

in the day.
- Okay, and,

move that here,
- Put that there.

Maybe can you move a
little bit for me, please?

- Here we go.
- Just, yeah.

- All right, great.

- Thank you.

- Grandma's gonna
see my shirt, too.

Okay.

Ready?

- Okay, so on the
count of three,

I want everybody to say,
"Merry Christmas," okay?

One, two, three.

Merry Christmas.

And just one more.

One,

two,

three.

Merry Christmas.

- All right, I think we
got some really good ones.

Just hang tight.

I'm gonna go print one out
and we can check on 'em.

- See, that's it.

We survived.

It wasn't so bad.

- Oh no, aside from
my pride taking a hit,

this was wonderful.
- All right, ow.

And you gotta seat
all to yourself now.

Man, that's a bony butt.

Ow.

Ah, all right, well,

I think we should get
the deluxe package.

But is that gonna
be enough wallets?

- Oh, I don't know.

I mean, unless you plan
on handing them out

at a baseball game, I
think a hundred's okay.

- Ha, ha.

And I really like both of
those Christmas borders.

I wonder if I can get two
different ones for the cards.

Where is she?

Excuse me.

- I have your picture.

Here.

You have such a lovely family.

That's perfect.

Hold that pose.

- Mommy, mommy, Santa
came, Santa came.

- Simon?

Riley, come over here right now.

- Santa?

- Riley, now.

- Please, please
just let me die.

No!

No.

Riley?

Riley?

No, Riley.

No.

No!

No!

No!

Oh, my baby.

Come on.

Wake up.

You wake up.

No!

No, baby!

Riley!

My baby.

Wails

No!