Il Bidone (1955) - full transcript

THE SWINDLE

My dearest Baron!

It's 10:30.
I'm always waiting on you guys.

Where have you been?

We couldn't find Roberto this morning.

That guy's got a girl in every town.

How beautiful!

It's only ten kilometers away.
You could have been there by now.

Why do we always have
to act like buffoons?

It's like a Corot landscape.

Here. Go hang yourself.



Here's the map.
That mark there is the tree.

The treasure is buried
eight steps from the tree.

- Understood.
- What are you doing? Yellow shoes?

Who'll see them under the cassock?

Give me that cross.

There.

What are these numbers?

A meter and a half down. Understood?

The earth has been smoothed over
so you can't tell the difference.

You just have to dig.

I think we can easily do it
before evening.

Tell that idiot not to get smart
with the women. They're not stupid.

One more thing. Be careful.
There are two mean-looking dogs.

- Where's your ring?
- I've got it!



What's wrong with you this morning?

Nervous?

Let me have a look. Everything okay?

What's up with Augusto this morning?

The old fool is staggering. He's in agony.

Augusto? Beautiful spot, eh?

Monsignore .

All aboard! We're off.

Good morning, ma'am.

Excuse me,
would you mind calling the dogs, please?

Come here.

Does Stella Fiorina live here?

Is Stella Fiorina here?

What do you want? That's me.

Mons/ignore, that's her.

Good morning.

Pax et bonum.

It's a pleasure, Mrs. Stella Fiorina.

I believe you own this farm, right?

We have an extremely confidential matter
to discuss with you.

His Eminence has sent on his behalf,
specially from Rome,

his legal secretary Monsignor De Filippis.

Monsignore!

We need to speak to you in private.

Is that possible?

Make yourself at home, Mons/ignore.
Please forgive the mess.

Get outside.

Excuse us, Monsignore.

- Get out!
- What a cutie!

- Here.
- Don Pietro, would you close the door?

A poor sinner at death's door

chose to disclose a dreadful secret to us.

It involves a murder.

During the war,
when the front passed through here,

this man fled with an accomplice
after committing a robbery.

He then killed his accomplice
and hid the body somewhere that,

according to his instructions,
is on your property.

Is there a tree somewhere on your land

standing all alone
in the middle of a field?

Yes, behind the vineyard.

That's it.

It's my duty to gather up those poor bones

and rebury them in consecrated ground.

It's a good deed
for which I need your help

for the sake of the murderer's soul.

- Is it far?
- No, just past the vineyard.

- What do you want to do?
- Tell me...

is it a secluded spot?

I mean, there's no risk of being seen?

I'd prefer not to wait for night,
since it won't take long.

You won't even have to do anything.

The treasure.

The treasure!

Oh, right! I almost forgot.

It seems that some jewelry the men stole
is buried with the bones.

The murderer may have meant
to return for it.

It's a little treasure trove.
Father has the complete list here.

But that's of no matter to us

since the deceased
expressly stated that, if found,

it should go to the landowner...

Meaning you.

...except for a small provision
to pay for a few masses for his soul.

You promise me you'll keep this secret?

It's in your own best interests,

because the state
might try to claim the treasure.

A treasure?

Yes, but our more pressing concern...

is burying those poor remains.

This is the tree.

Eight paces from this point
towards the vineyard.

If I'm ay, Mons/ignore,

- It's here?
-...I'd like to try counting them out.

Pardon me, Monsignore. One moment.

One, two, three, four,

five, six, seven, eight.

Eight...

Monsignore!

It should be here, in this exact spot.

Good.

Well, shall we try?

Do you give your consent?

Yes.

- Please proceed.
- Whatever you say, Mons/ignore.

Watch out!

Come on. Come over here, ma'am.

I can't take any more.
Mons/ignore, there's nothing here.

- I need a rest.
- Give me that.

Be careful, Stella.

Mons/ignore, come here!

Augusto, here we go.

- Look!
- Good heavens! He was right!

Poor soul.

Look at that.

Requiem aeternam...

Easy, Roberto. Hand it here.

Thank you.

Thank you. Poor man.

Here we go. Such is man...

Blessed Lord...

Look at all these bones.

Blessed Virgin...

What's this bone?

There's something here!

Requiem aeternam dona eis, Domine...

- Look, it's here!
- Monsignore, it's here!

One gold necklace
with diamonds and rubies.

One gold ingot weighing...

two kilos.

There we are.

Then one gold brooch...

- Is it all genuine?
- I wouldn't mind having it!

That is, I mean, if it weren't genuine,

it'd be all black by now, right?

I'm no expert, but I'd say
it's worth five or six million lire.

How much?

- May I have a glass of water?
- Six million!

Oh, yes. Six million, more or less.

Even more, with the way
gold has gone up recently.

- It has increased. Did you know, Father?
- That's true. Definitely more.

Probably seven million.

- Must we share it with you?
- Heavens, no.

Absolutely not. It's yours.

- All yours.
- Father.

"To whom it may concern:

Out of excruciating remorse
for my evil deeds,

and out of fear of burning
in eternal hellfire for my sins,

I provide that all the wealth
I wrongfully acquired

and buried next to the body of my victim,

given that the legitimate owners are dead,

should go to the owners of the land
on which it is found,

on one sole condition..."

I'm reading the last will and testament.

"...on one sole condition:

that said owners have 500 masses said

for the salvation of my soul."

Do we have to pay for the masses?

Can our parish priest say them?

I'll have them said at St. Peter's.
Much better.

Five hundred masses at 1,000 lire each.

That's not much.

It's 500,000 lire!

"Should the owners
refuse the accursed gold,

I beg His Eminency to give it to charity."

Do we have to pay all at once?

Of course. That's what it says.

Remember:

This is a solemn secret.
There's a murder involved.

You ladies could even be implicated.

- We don't have that much all at once.
- We'll sell the oxen.

- Quiet!
- We'll manage!

Mons/ignore, we could take the ingot,

but of course, it's worth a lot more.

At least 1.5 million.

No, absolutely not.

We must find another way.

For now, we'll take everything
to His Eminence in Rome.

Don't worry. He'll find a solution.

- Shall we go?
- Certainly.

Mons/ignore, could you wait a moment?

I want to talk to my sister.

Listen, we have to do something...

Roberto, cut it out, please!

It's already 5:00 p.m. We should go.

Look at him! Hello, cutie.

You look like a little devil!

The ladies, do you know where they are?

They took the cart
and went to the village.

Why have they gone to the village?

Deceitful Mons/ignore,
50 years old, ends up in jail!

He's the one who's most afraid.

Here they are.

There's a man, too.

We have 400,000.

425,000.

- We couldn't get any more.
- Will that do?

Thank you for everything!
May God reward you!

- Have a good trip!
- Pax et bonum.

Goodbye!

- Thank you!
- No, thank you!

Stop here. I'll get out. Thanks.

See you, Picasso.

See you tomorrow. Bye, Augusto.

Iris!

- Iris!
- Carlo!

Get Silvana dressed and come down.
We'll get dinner and see a movie.

- We started eating already.
- No, let's go out! Hurry!

Okay!

Hi, Daddy!

My darling!

Come here to Daddy.

Here's my little frog! Ah, my love!

- Why were you so late?
- Hold your daddy tight. Like that!

Yesterday, a lady in Viterbo asked me

if I knew a little girl named Silvana
who lives in Rome.

That's me! Me!

- Here you are! It's for you.
- A green handbag!

Yes, my love, my darling...

So many kisses for your daddy.

Go and call your mama now.
Tell her to come right away.

There we are.

Look what Daddy brought me!

He said a woman from Viterbo
gave it to him!

I don't believe him.

Hurry and get dressed now.
We're eating out.

- What was in the little bag?
- Sweets.

Sweets! Finish putting that on.

Let's go.

Carlo, here we come!

- At last!
- How are you, darling?

- Weren't you due back last night?
- Yes...

- What happened?
- I'll tell you later.

- Look.
- For me?

- Yes.
- How much did it cost?

- Do you like it?
- Oh, yes! A lot!

- What is it? I want to see!
- Come look.

- Wait, I'll put it here.
- Where shall we eat?

Wherever you want.
We'll decide on the way.

It's wonderful!
Look, what a lovely present! Let's go.

You could have sent me a telegram.
You know I worry.

- I can never locate you if I need you.
- Yes, but it's not my fault.

What can I do about it?
That's the life of a traveling salesman.

But we sold everything.

There was a nearby market,
and Augusto suggested we try there too.

So we did, and we sold our entire stock
of fabrics. Every single one.

In fact, look at this:
they even paid us in cash.

- Is all this ours?
- Of course. Who else's would it be?

- How much is it?
-100,000.

We should give at least 20,000
to the trattoria.

No, 10,000 will do.

And then -
Was anyone looking for me at home today?

No. But how did you do it?

Like I said, we sold everything.
So, 10,000 to the trattoria,

10,000 to your mother
so she'll stop bothering us.

No, we're giving 20,000 to the trattoria
and we'll pay the baker and the others,

so I can finally breathe and step outside
without getting all those dirty looks!

Fine, as you like. In fact, you handle it.

You'll see, I'll make it last a month!

- Then you can paint in peace, you hear?
- Whose is this beautiful little face?

- You have to paint!
- Of course I do.

Listen, I saw some wonderful places
we should visit one day.

Not even the Dutch could dream up
such beautiful hilltop landscapes.

Wow, this guy's too much!

What a gorgeous pansy you own
What a gorgeous pansy you have

Will you give it to me, your pansy?

Hey, boys!

The big spenders are here!

Our evening's solved now!

- Here.
- Thanks!

Have a smoke.

Luigi, come here.

What's your best champagne?

We have Cordon Rouge and Perrier-Jouét.

For me... Perrier-Jouét!

And take some drinks
to that thirsty bunch.

Cheers!

Who did you guys rob?

Hi, Riccardo.

They ordered champagne.

Everything okay, Mr. Rocca?

Roberto!

Did you see the Cadillac outside?
She's loaded!

- Do you work here?
- Excuse me?

I asked... are you a dancer?

I'm an entertainer.

What are you, German?

No, English.

- Do you sing too?
- No, I only sing for myself.

What a beautiful girl you are.

- I have to go. This is my number.
- All right. Go ahead.

Okay.

The automobile!

That's nothing.

- You're gonna break my drums.
- Let me play.

Listen, Augusto. This is for you.

Luigi, look at these clowns
I have to work with.

Only fit for living off women.
They make me laugh!

That's young people today.

I was never like that!

I've always worked in style.

I've swindled my way around the world,

because the world is full of idiots.

I can sell ice to the Eskimos!

And I have to work with these amateurs.

I'm going back to working solo.

Shall we go?

Give me my violin
before you break it. Cut it out!

It cost 40,000 lire.

I'll give it back
only if you play the variations.

Okay, I'll play them. Give it to me.

- You'll play them?
- I will.

Go on.

He's a good-looking kid, Roberto.
Do you like him?

I prefer to stay with you.
Don't you want me to?

Miss, could you change 5,000 lire?

Word of honor: you're getting a bargain.

I'm a bit hard up at the moment.
You can have it for 15,000.

It's my wife's - a present from me.

Trust me, I wouldn't be selling it
if I weren't up to my neck in debt.

You know,
a guy can go through rough times...

- Hey, Augusto.
- Hello!

Good morning.

- What are you doing? You're selling it?
- Yes.

- For how much?
-15,000. Imagine that.

Why? I'd have bought it!

- Ah, you'd have bought it?
- Of course.

Fine then. It's yours. Take it.

In fact,
if you're in this line of business,

I can get you three dozen
for 1,500 each, tax-free.

What do you mean?

I mean I buy them
for 500 lire each in Lugano.

I've been in this business long enough
for my hair to turn white.

I don't mean to boast.

- Can I buy you a drink?
- What a swell old guy! A Campari.

- You?
- Perhaps a Negroni.

A Campari, a Negroni,
and a lemonade. Sorry, eh?

- Give me the watch.
- You don't trust me?

Didn't you notice he was a crafty old fox?

The baron's here.

- Put it on the Milanese's tab.
- Send our drinks over.

It looks like everything's ready
for tomorrow morning.

Vargas had another great idea.
On the outskirts of Rome...

Hey, kids, cut it out!

Beat it! Come on!

Come on, let's go.

Allow me, sir.

Good morning.

Hey there! What about you?

Up there all alone.

Who put you up there?
Are you in the mountains?

Come on, don't cry. I'll get you down.

Augusto, what's he doing?

- What's your name? Are you scared?
- Hey, what are you doing?

- This is my kid.
- He could have fallen off the roof.

Listen, perhaps you could tell me...

where I might find
Mr. Sigismondo Giacotti?

Is Sigismondo Giacotti here?

He went to the hospital.

Well, what about Giovanni Bartoli?

Giovanni Bartoli? Ask him.

What do you want with Giovanni Bartoli?

- It's about assigning public housing.
- That's me!

- They're assigning housing?
- Sure.

- I applied two years ago.
- Me too.

Is Bevilacqua on your list? Check it!

I applied too. No one ever showed up.

Calm down. The gentleman here
can explain everything. Follow me.

They're here for the new housing project!

- Bice, the public housing guys are here!
- What's going on?

Take it easy. No need for a racket.
Stand back.

One at a time. He'll explain everything.

Don't make such a racket.
Cut it out, kids.

I said cut it out! Come on. One at a time.

Good morning. You finally showed up.

Did you explain everything?

Yes, I said we've come
to assign public housing.

I've been told the first family
lives over there.

- Very well.
- They're giving us a home!

- It's taken forever!
- I applied two years ago!

You've been sent by providence itself,
my name is Antonio Assone.

- I applied 14 months ago!
- Who's getting an apartment?

This bum?

What happened to my application?

I've been waiting forever.

I don't know a thing!

One moment! Calm down, please!

Quiet, please!

The first apartments
will be assigned in a month's time.

They've been saying that forever!

That's enough! Silence!

One at a time. Come on.

These are your contracts.

You just need to sign
and pay the first installment.

What?

How much is it?

That depends on the number of rooms.

It could be 9,000, 9,500, 10,000.
Depends on the number of rooms.

What if we ain't got it?

Don't worry if you don't have it.
You'll be in the second group.

It'll be your turn next time.

How much do I have to pay, Ada Colangeli?

Look up Ada Colangeli.

- I said two rooms.
-9,000 lire.

What about Luigi Fiorelli?
I applied three years ago.

- And you?
- Maria Bove.

- And you?
- Calabro, Catena!

- Did you apply?
- Yes, five months ago.

I applied two years ago.

What are you talking about?
You had an apartment and you sold it!

- This guy deserves no pity.
- It wasn't my house!

- I didn't sell it!
- You tried to sell it to me!

That's rubbish! Shut up!

Let's go inside, sir.
You won't get anything done out here.

Stand back! There's no need for a racket!
Calm down!

One at a time! Calm down!

Forgive the mess.
Make yourself comfortable.

- I spoke to him first. Let me in.
- One at a time.

Calm down. Could you all calm down?

Can you check the list?
My name is Bevilacqua!

That little boy's mine.

That's right, Giorgio.
Say hello to the gentleman.

- Who's first?
- Ernestina Giacotti.

That's me, sir. God bless you.

- Gino Bevilacqua!
- Right here.

8,500.

- Aldo Nevi!
- Sign here.

Calabrc'), Catena!

10,500!

I've only got 4,000.

Let her through!

Celestina Mengozzi!

7,700 lire.

Sir, I've got the money. 9,000 lire.

- My name is De Felice, Giovanni.
- All right. Thank you.

Here, I've got 5,000 lire.

- Can you lend me 1,000 lire?
- To you of all people?

- Soap bubbles for your children!
- I'd like to find something.

- Don't you like these?
- Yes, but I don't feel like eating.

The most welcome of presents!

I have to give you 10,000 lire.

- Yeah, hand it over!
- I'll give it to you, I'm not -

Now, this I like! Look!

- Can I try it, please?
- For the kids. Just 200 lire.

Look at this!

- Why doesn't it work?
- You have to blow gently.

I get it. Blow gently...

You try, sir.

Augusto, watch this.

It's fun, isn't it, sir?
Buy it! It's only 200 lire.

No need to buy expensive toys.
Make your kids happy for just 200 lire.

Look at that beautiful bubble!

Nice, isn't it?

Don't you enjoy these things, Augusto?
Wrap it for me.

- Let's go!
- Just a minute while I pay.

I want to take it to Silvana.
You know her. I'm sure she'll love it.

You're the one who loves it. You're a kid.

Watch out!

- What's the big idea?
- Damn you!

If it isn't Mr. Jailbird!
You old cockroach.

You bastard!

Augusto, it's me! Don't you recognize me?
What are you doing?

Rinaldo!

- How are you?
- Fine. And you?

Out on bail? Where you going?

Piazza del Popolo, with my friend.

Get in and bring him along.
I'll take you there.

- You're so rude!
- What of it?

- Get in, he's driving us.
- Fancy running into you on New Year's Eve.

Good evening, ma'am.

Augu, who brought you
a loaf with a file this time?

Same baker who brought you one.

It's been two years since I last saw you.
What have you been up to all this time?

Same old life.

More importantly, what about you?

I see you travel like a king.

You tried to swindle me
out of 5,000 lire, last time I saw you.

And I did! Admit it!

No, you didn't.

I sure did. You can bet on it.

Now he says he can't remember,
to protect his reputation.

Luciana...

do you know who this is?

This man's a scourge.

He's left half of Italy in tears.
He's Monsignor Bidone.

- He's worse than a flood!
- It's a pleasure.

Augusto Rocca. It's a pleasure.

Augu, do you still carry
those skulls around?

You're such a crook!

Ma'am, do you know him well?
This gentleman?

Listen up.

Picasso, if this guy shakes your hand,
count your fingers.

You'll be missing at least a couple.
He'd cheat his own mother.

- As if you wouldn't!
- But tell me... this car...

- Is it really yours?
- Who else's would it be, you fool?

It must have cost a fortune.
At least four, four and a half.

Five and a half, thank you very much.

But if you buy it in Switzerland,
you pay a bit less.

My wife and kids live there, you know.

I bought them a villa in Geneva.
Looking onto the lake.

You should see the weather.

The kids go to school there.

You can't beat the Swiss for education.

They're a great people.

People here haven't got a clue.
They're helpless.

- What are you doing at midnight?
- My friend here invited me over.

No, you got to come to my place.

I'll expect you after 10:00 p.m.

You better come!
I'm not letting you go now!

Thanks, but I promised my friend here.

No problem. Bring him along.

- His wife's expecting us too.
- Bring her, too.

Rinaldo Russi.

Bring your wife along.

I'll be expecting you at Via Archimede 38.
I live on the third floor.

Don't be late
or you'll miss the best part.

Okay, then.

I'm counting on it. If you're not there,
I'll come looking for you.

Let them out!

Sorry to bother you, ma'am.

Thank you.

When you gonna lose that belly?

- Good evening, ma'am.
- See you later.

- Who's he?
- What do you mean? I told you about him.

- I feel awkward. I'm not going in.
- Don't be silly.

Come on!

Let's go. Come on.

Augusto, over here!

- Rinaldo! What a nice house you have.
- So you came?

- Picasso, come here.
-Iris, come on.

- Come with me.
- This is Picasso's wife.

- It's a pleasure. Enjoy yourselves.
- It's a pleasure.

Come with me.
Be quiet and don't laugh, okay?

- Can't you see enough like this?
- Can you see anything, sir?

- Frankly not, but with these tricks...
- Wait a second! What tricks?

- Some girls nowadays use trickery.
- Well, not me!

Hold on, now. The problem's solved.

Miss, you're in luck. A friend of mine
has arrived, the sculptor Bidoni.

- We can trust him. He's an artist.
- Ah, good!

So you're supposed to be a sculptor?

Of course. He made a monument
to swindlers in Terni.

- That's right.
- Yeah, sure.

- Mari, you're being stupid!
- Why?

- It's just friendly advice.
- Miss, let's get something straight.

You say you want to participate
in a beauty contest? And you want to win?

You say you have nice breasts,
but your word isn't enough. Prove it!

So what should I do?

- Undress.
- All right.

- Ah, that's a good girl!
- What are you looking at?

- I wanted to check!
- Move over, let us have a look, too!

Evening, ma'am.

Stop it!

What's going on here? What are you up to?

- It's that stupid Marisa.
- What's she doing?

What do you care? Get lost!

Good evening. Excuse me, Iris!

Iris, come here a minute.

Come here. Allow me to introduce my wife.

This lady is our hostess.

Pleased to meet you.

- Shall we dance?
- Yes.

Robertino.

Hey, Picasso!

Who let you in?

Roberto, you're here too?

It must really be a party for the masses.
Evening, ma'am.

- We came with Augusto.
- The old man's here too?

- That's right. We came together.
- Good! Excuse me.

Does Augusto know the host?

They're old friends. He gave us a lift.
He invited us here. He was really kind.

He's a legend!
They say he made a fortune running...

Yes, I know -

- I mean, I didn't know that.
- Where's Augusto now?

Give me my dress!

- She'll do fine in a beauty contest!
- Cut it out!

That's enough, boys!

Marisa, go in there and get dressed.

Stop it!

That's enough now!
Marisa's getting dressed.

Here's where the action is! May I?

Augusto, you look wonderful!
You're stunning tonight.

Is the host really your friend?

What are you after?

What are you two cooking up?
Anything in it for me?

Don't forget me. I'm your friend, right?

Excuse me. Rinaldo, open up.

- No one's in there.
- Open up, you louse.

Open this door now or you'll be sorry.

- Open up!
- Stop it. We have company.

I don't give a damn!

Open up!

- What do you want? Cut it out!
- Where's that whore?

Aren't you ashamed to make such a scene?
You're just like your mother!

- What's going on?
- Just look at yourself!

The poor girl felt ill.
Someone had to help her.

- Come here. Give me a kiss.
- I'll give you a kiss, all right!

They're kidding around.

Let's all go get a drink.

She got scared, that's all.

Excuse me, but I heard
you're one of those rare people

who are able to appreciate
a truly good painting, so I took -

Hey, Picasso! Good evening! May I?

I'm a friend of Augusto's,
Roberto Giorgio.

And this man's friend, too.

You give great parties.
I'm really enjoying myself.

You were saying?

Just that you seemed like someone
who really knows about painting, so I -

- Are you sure you've got the right guy?
- What?

A man of your taste must know that
a nice painting completes the decor.

- Let's see what you've got.
- Of course.

It's a De Pisis. A man like yourself
knows that at a glance, right?

Did you do it?

- It's beautiful, right?
- No, I've been painting for years, but -

It's ten to midnight!

Turn the TV back on.

I think he liked it.

Hey, introduce me to Rinaldo.
I'm a guy who can do anything.

You think he needs guys like you?

Don't make me laugh!

Some friend you are! You'll pay for this.

- Hey, give me something!
- Give me a whiskey.

Rinaldo! Tell him how much you got
that time for the fire damage.

- I can't remember.
- Hold on, he'll tell you now.

You're getting on my nerves!
That's enough!

I can't remember. It was 15 or 16 million.

16 million? Tell this fool here.
He doesn't believe it.

Does the insurance just pay like that?

You really don't remember
how much you got?

- You need a secretary.
- Luci! Are you listening?

- Excuse me, do you have a match?
- No,ldonT

Leave me alone. I'm mad at you.

Let's make up. Don't get me angry.

I was serious.

You? With that face? My secretary?

They'd arrest me right away.

I'd never get out.

Nina, what are you doing with the glasses?

I had to wash some. We ran out.
I only have two hands!

Go have a look. She's hopeless. Please.

On your feet.

Rinaldo, listen. I've got to talk to you.

- Let's have breakfast tomorrow.
- Why?

Let's get together tomorrow.

I'll give you a light.

It's very important.

Listen.

- What is it? Tell me, I'm listening.
- You remember the Texas Club?

I can lease it for three years -
in my name, of course.

I'll guarantee you 30,000 lire a day.

Wouldn't 30,000 interest you?

Grab him!

Grab him!

It's midnight! Old trash must go!
Let's throw the baron out the window!

Stop kidding around.

Cut it out! You'll ruin my new suit.

- Then strip him!
- No! Don't touch my trousers!

Come on, sweetheart!

It's midnight! Happy New Year, everyone!

Here you go, Rinaldo!
I want to have a toast with you!

Let's drink to the new year!

- Happy New Year.
- Cheers.

You'll have your exhibition this year.

Yes, darling. Whatever you say.

You know what we'll do one of these days?
We'll leave. We'll go to Venice.

You have to see it.
You can't imagine what it's like.

Silvana will have such fun in a gondola.

Or maybe... would you prefer Taormina?

Taormina is marvelous, even in winter.

No, Venice is more poetic.
But I'd need an evening gown.

Of course you would. And you'll have one.

- Carlo, I don't look good like this.
- No. Why do you say that?

They're all in evening dresses. But I -
if I had known, I wouldn't have come.

You're still the prettiest.

If you weren't already my wife,
I'd be making a pass at you.

My head's spinning.
Maybe I've drunk too much.

- But it's nice, champagne.
- Of course!

Ma'am, have you seen
a gold cigarette case by any chance?

No, I'm sorry.

What do you want?

What are you saying?

It's midnight. You haven't even kissed me.

Kiss me.

Don't slobber all over my ear, you idiot!

- Are you two staying much longer?
- Well, yes.

Have you seen? She's wearing
five million just on her head.

- Who is she?
- Some old hag. I don't know.

You're so ugly!

We'll open an investment company
in a small town in my name,

so if it goes bad, I take the fall.

- We'll put it in my name.
- What are you talking about?

The investment company.

Don't you get it?
I'm not interested in that stuff anymore.

Tell me, how old are you?

- Why?
- Tell me. I want to know.

Forty-eight.

And you're still running those scams?
You astonish me, you know.

It's pathetic.

- What's up?
- Come here a minute.

- What is it?
- Come here!

You're such a pain!

Seriously?

Here's our generous host now!

I was just coming to thank you
and to wish you a happy New Year.

Thank you.

Listen, a lady here
lost her cigarette case.

Really? Poor thing.
I'm sorry to hear that.

But it's understandable
in all this confusion.

It's a gold cigarette case.

I don't understand.

You don't understand?
You didn't happen to find it?

A guy sometimes picks something up
without thinking

and only finds it in his pocket
when he gets home.

I still don't understand.

This guy's a scream.

- You know what I'd do if I were you?
- What?

I'd look for it and I'd find it.

What's going on?

Dear Contessa, I think there's a thief.

You see, the thing is,
I'd do that very gladly. However I -

Look, what do you want?
What are you getting at?

You can't put one over on me
that easily, my friend.

The lady wants a smoke.
So offer her a cigarette.

Just what do you want?

Come on. Pretend it was a joke.

Do you understand?

Say it was a joke and everyone's happy.

You gonna say it? Yes or no?

Okay, it was a joke.

Were you worried? Tell the truth.
I was joking.

- Thank you.
- You're welcome.

- Satisfied?
- Get out.

Happy New Year, everyone!

Augu, some friends you've got!

You hang around with them?

Luci, you'd better check your pockets.

Which way are you going?

So you think you're clever, huh?

Tough time to find a taxi.

Your mother should have
strangled you at birth.

I know, you're right.
But stop spitting in my face.

What are you doing?

I wouldn't advise it at your age.
It's unhealthy, you know. Be a good boy.

Taxi!

Go home to bed.

Happy New Year!

Do you want to come with us?

Come with us.

No. Good night.

Some joke, huh?

A cigarette case.

He must have been drunk. I'm sure of it.

Do you want a cigarette?

What are you doing with those people?
Why are you always with them?

What are you up to?

Nothing. We work.

What do you do with Roberto
and the other one? What sort of work?

What do you think?

You know I've always told you everything.

I never know anything!
You never tell me the truth!

I'm not like them, you know.

Do you think I want to be ruined?

I work. I don't do anything wrong.

I have to do something to keep you both.

You have to be a thief?
You'll end up in jail!

Iris, please...

Darling, it's New Year's.
Let's not start the year like this.

I saw right away what they were like.

I've asked you again and again,
but all I get from you is lies.

You leave, you come home.
I never know where your money's from.

It's always trouble.

Every time the doorbell rings,
my heart freezes.

I can't take it anymore.

I can't take it anymore.

Iris, please, don't act like this.

I beg you, calm down.

I love you, Iris.

I'll do anything you want. I swear.

I'll have nothing more to do with them.
They'll never see me again.

I'll find some way to make money.

I'll sell my paintings.

I don't believe you anymore.

You're right. I know.

But I swear I'll turn over a new leaf.

I swear. Believe me, darling!

That's what you always say.

It's true, but you and Silvana
are all I've got.

You two are all I think about.

You know I don't mind
having no money. I'm not scared.

I just want you to be the same as you were
when we got married.

Now you kiss my hand!

- Do you want a cigarette now?
- Yes.

You'll see what I'll do to you
one of these days.

You just laugh.

Anyway, happy New Year.

Darling, let's go and see
what's happening over there.

Come on.

Hey, happy New Year! Where are you going?

Wait a minute. Come with us.

There's no better way
to start the new year!

We'll bring you luck. Come on.

See you.

Hey, fatty!

Augusto!

Augusto! Over here.

Come here.

Look at this beauty.

- Whose is it?
- Get in!

Wouldn't you like to know?

Bu! my secret is hidden within me...

There he is!

Beautiful car! Are we going in this?

Where are the coats? Let me try one on.

Be careful with it.
They're sort of flimsy.

They cost 1,600 lire each.

They look good.

Still, at 1,600 each,
I think you got swindled, you know.

No, that's not expensive.

Is that right? Next time, you go.
Artists are such great negotiators.

My own mother sewed on the buttons.
And even those were expensive.

Keep your arms straight.

Hands out of your pockets.
Don't wake the moths.

- Smell.
- Smells like rats.

Get in the middle.
Augusto, go buy some cigarettes, please.

What's this cost to rent per day?

Nothing. It's my mother's.

She's drugged.
She'll be out for three days.

Augusto, the cigarettes! Hurry.

But I told him, "Professor,
this isn't part of the course!"

- He couldn't reply.
- Dad!

Patrizia!

You've changed.
I wouldn't have recognized you.

- Patrizia!
- What are you doing over there?

I'm coming!

- No school today?
- Math was canceled, so we left early.

- You girls are going for a stroll?
- Yes.

- How's your mother?
- She's fine.

She had the flu, but she's better.

You've really changed.

You're a young woman now.

You haven't seen me
since Christmas last year.

Just a minute! I'm coming!

Go on. They're waiting.

I'll come see you one of these days.

- Or I'll call.
- Sure.

I mean it. I promise.

All right.

- Bye, Patrizia!
- Bye, Dad.

Good morning, gentlemen.

- Two gallons.
- Super?

Your best!

Nice gig you got here.

You do nothing from dawn to dusk
and rake it in.

- Right?
- Yeah, right.

In fact, I own all the land around here.

If you only knew...

Damn it! The truth is that when a man
has worked his whole life,

he should have the right to rest!

What hours do you work?

There's no schedule here.

If I want to eat every day,
I have to work nights too.

You're kidding!

Oil? Water?

- Just check the tires.
- Right away.

- How much is it?
-1,380 lire.

Fine. But I can't pay right now.

You know what? We're broke,

and I have to be at the prefecture
in Terni by 12:30.

Here's what we'll do.

I owe you 1,380. You give me 10,000 lire.

On my way back later,
I'll give you 13,000, okay?

Well? What do you say?

What do you mean?

What's that?

I just asked what you meant.

You don't trust me? Just say so!

I do trust you. I just don't understand.

Fine. I'll leave you my coat.

Hear that? He wants my coat!

I trust you, but I have to cover-

Let's give him a coat.
Will this do as a deposit?

- Yes.
- Roberto!

You're leaving him a coat worth at least
50,000 lire for a 10,000 lire loan?

What can I do? He doesn't trust me.

You're hoping I never come back.
Keep those greasy hands off!

Here you go. Ah, wait a minute.

My watch is in the pocket.
That would be too much.

That would have been some bargain!

I trust you because you're a gentleman.

You trust me because I'm leaving you this.

- Show me where you'll put it.
- Follow me.

He's a friend, the old chap!

- Morning.
- Good morning.

- Gas?
- Two gallons of super.

- Is the tank in the back?
- Yes.

Be careful! What a fool!

- Look, let's try our strength!
- Test your muscles!

- Shall we have a go?
- Of course!

Augusto, do you remember this song?

Test your muscles!

Let's go see the medieval citadel!

Shut up, you idiot.

Do you hear the racket that fool makes?

Quiet...

It's a stable.

Are there really no women in this town?

I haven't seen even one.

Hey, ladies!

Imagine living here. I'd shoot myself!

Ladies and gentlemen, pure English wool!

Guaranteed pure wool!

A sturdy material that never creases!

Watch out, it's a bullfight!
Get ready for the bull!

Watch out, you'll break your neck!

What a fool.

We've got to figure out
something more serious.

We can't go on like this.

Who's saying we should? I'm not an idiot.

This is just to keep us going,
just for fun.

I'm going to sing.

When I save up some money,
I'll take lessons. Seriously.

I already bought
all of Johnnie Ray's records.

That's really my style.

You'll never take lessons.

I don't want to end up like you.

I've got your example, old boy.

I've got your example.

Old man, I've got your example

What an animal! Come and have a look.

Picasso! Cut it out!

I'll pay for everyone. How much is it?

- Come on.
- No, I want to take a ride!

- Come on!
- Leave me alone! Where are you taking me?

- Cut it out. Just look at yourself.
- I'm fine!

Augusto, how much is a ride?

Roberto, how much is...

See what happens when you let him drink!

I feel sick.

I let him drink? The wimp had two glasses!

Two glasses? More like a bottle.

- Just leave him there.
- Leave me here.

You know he gets drunk
just smelling the wine!

- What do you want?
- It's all just a joke to you, right?

Come wash your face.

Go on.

That's right, knock him out!

It's hot!

Leave me alone!

Leave me alone, both of you.

- Hey, you!
- Where are you off to now?

- To ask this guy something.
- Wait for us.

You go away too, Augusto. Go away.

How do you feel?

I feel bad.

You guys do whatever you want.

I'm going home.

Go on to Florence. Don't worry about me.

I want to go home.

There must be a train
going through here, right?

Where are you going?
You can hardly stand up.

Come here, take this thing off.

Walk a bit. You'll feel better.

One of these days,
I won't have a home anymore.

I can't keep going around with you two.

Iris suspects something.

She's asking lots of questions.

I can't keep telling her all these lies.

One of these days,

she'll take the child
and go home to her mother.

You'll see! She'll do it!

And if she takes my little girl...

I'll kill myself!

You were stupid to get married at 18.

You can't do anything anymore.
You're finished!

Trust me. Find some other line of work
while there's still time.

Find something better.

Why?

But I've got the right face, don't I?

Look.

You've always said
that I could cheat anyone with this face.

I look like an angel.

You can leave me anywhere in the world,
even where I don't know anyone,

and I'll always land on my feet.

Say, "A million."

Come on, you heard me. Say, "A million."

A million.

See? You can't even say it!
Do you know why?

Because you can't even imagine
having millions of lire!

Whatever you earn, you run home
and give to your wife, you wretch!

But, Augusto, I -

In this business, you can't have a family.

You have to be free to come and go
whenever you want,

not tied to your wife's apron strings!

You have to be alone.

The most important thing
when you're young is to be free.

It's more important
than the air you breathe.

If you're scared now...

imagine when you're my age.

The years roll on by, you know...

Come on. Get up now.

Come on. Let's go.

Walking will do you good.

- Are you feeling better now?
- Yeah.

But I'm not going to Florence, you know.
I'm going home.

No, come on. We'll have fun in Florence.
We have tons of dough.

No, I'm going home.

Augusto, how do you do it?

I admire you. I wish I had your courage.

But how can you go on
doing this at your age?

Aren't you ever afraid?

Afraid of what?

No, I'm not like you.

It's starting to rain!

Here's Miss Frosinone!

Look at Roberto!

See what a good friend I am?

Hold on. Come on.

- Where are you going?
- Come on!

Picasso, what are you doing? Hurry up!
Come up here!

Just look at this girl!

Luigina, a local gentlewoman.

- Augusto, our spiritual grandfather.
- It's a pleasure.

The lady would like to go
for a romantic drive.

- Hands off! Everyone knows me in town.
- My apologies, ma'am.

What do you want? Ah, hold on.

- Here. Take this.
- I was asleep.

We haven't got long.
My husband gets home at midnight.

Let's go! It's raining!

- What's your husband do?
- He works. Nice car!

Let's go.

Thank you, Amilcare.

Where do you think you're going?
What are you up to?

Picasso, go get some sleep.
We'll see you in the morning.

We're like sardines in here!

There's a radio too? Turn it on.

Home...

Yes, I'm going home.

I'm going home.

Have you been waiting long?

No, you're right on time.

Let me look at you.

Very Stylish!

- Hold on.
- Thanks, but you don't need to.

It's a beautiful day. I have an idea.
Shall we eat in Monte Mario?

Let's go.

Or if you prefer here in town?

It's the same for me,
as long as I'm home by 7:00 p.m.

Monte Mario it is!

I've put on weight, huh?

No, you look great.

Do you know how old I am? 48.

That's not so old.

What will you do when you graduate?

- I've got to decide.
- Decide what?

Whether to stop or go on.

It would be four more years.
That's a long time.

What's wrong, don't you like studying?

Yes, I do. I'd like to continue.

Mama would like me to as well,
but I can't keep being a burden on her.

And what would you do after that?

- I'd teach.
- What?

- I'd teach.
- You want to teach?

Of course. Actually, I plan to find
a part-time job to pay for school.

Many of my friends do that.

A girlfriend of mine
makes good money as a cashier.

What does a cashier earn?

Well, 30,000 or 35,000.

- How much?
-35,000.

35,000 lire?
No one can live on 35,000 a month!

That's what it pays,

and lots of people live on that.

Your dessert and cognac.

Young people today
have to work for a living.

In any case, cashierjobs require
a security deposit of 200,000 or 300,000.

I certainly don't have it.

How pretty!

It's really pretty.

- You like it?
- It's beautiful.

- Keep it, it's yours.
- It's too nice for me.

Don't be silly. It's nothing.

Just be careful winding it up.

It's very fragile.

Thank you, Dad. It's really nice.

Waiter? The bill, please.

Right there.

- It's a bit far back.
- It's better here.

She thought we were sweethearts.

- Can you see all right?
- Yes.

If you want to continue your studies,
I'll get you that deposit money.

200,000 or 300,000 lire is nothing to me.
I can get that anytime.

Ice cream!

- Do you want an ice cream?
- Yes, please.

- Two ice creams.
- Here they come.

- Keep Sunday open for me.
- All right.

Thanks.

-Ice cream man!
- Here I come.

Ice cream! Sweets! Ice cream!

What's wrong? Don't you feel well?

It's nothing.

I'm going to get some cigarettes.

How are you?

I've been looking for you for six months.

- Couldn't we discuss this tomorrow?
- Tomorrow? No. We'll discuss it now.

Please.

Filthy scum!
You'll hear me out now, you crook!

- Take it outside!
- Miss, can't you sit down?

- Look who it is.
- There he is. Well done!

- Take it outside!
- Cut it out!

Please, let's go outside!

Why the police station? What have I done?

This bastard still wants to know why!

Keep your cool.
Settle this at the police station.

- I'm going to break his bones!
- Ah, there! Officer, excuse me!

- What's going on?
- Please, let me go now.

- What's going on here?
- This murderer sold me fake antibiotics.

- My brother nearly died!
- Thief!

- Cut it out!
- Calm down!

- Stop it now.
- Me? A thief?

- That's enough, I said!
- Dad?

What did he do?

Cut it out! Let's go
to the police station. Come on.

- They're arresting a guy!
- They're taking him away.

- Let's go!
- Go home.

You can explain at the station.
Come on now.

Go home!

Officer!

- Stay back!
- We just want to see!

Well, what will you do now?

No idea.

- Have you got a cigarette?
- Sure.

Just don't screw up and end up back here.

- Thanks.Bye.
- Bye. And good luck.

They can take my mother!

No, I won't be in Rome this week.

The lawyer?

They arrested him?

How should I know?
Forged signatures or something.

Okay.

Okay.

Hello.

Look who's back!
What can we serve you? A cognac?

No, a Negroni.

Where have you been all this time?
Out of town?

Has Roberto been around this morning?

The blond guy who was always laughing?
He hasn't been around in a while.

- Roberto Giorgio?
- Yeah.

- He's in Milan.
- Since when?

- Must be three months now.
- What's he doing there?

He's done well for himself.
I saw him driving an Aurelia sports car.

Yeah, an Aurelia sports car.

Have you seen Baron Vargas?

Yesterday, but not today.

- But he still comes around?
- Not too often.

Please pay at the register.

Hello!

- Are you Paolo Gazzese?
- Yes.

Mons/ignore, it's him.

We have a very important matter
to discuss with you.

- I found a bone!
- M0ns/gn0re, a bone!

And there's even a skull! Look!

It weighs a ton! Give me a hand!

- I could do with a nice cup of coffee.
- Me too.

Susanna, what are you doing here?
Go into the other room.

My apologies, Mons/ignore.

This is my daughter.

- Renata, take her next door.
- Come on, Susanna.

It's my younger daughter, poor thing.
God made her like that.

- Come on, Riccardo.
- Excuse me.

Here's a list of the treasure.

I'll need something to -

Wait, I got it!

It's the friggin' Bank of Italy!

Loon Monsignore.

- This must be 30 carats or more.
- As I said...

- Right, reverend?
-...the treasure is all yours.

I'm not an expert.

- The deceased left specific instructions.
- Do you want a cigarette?

The most important thing
to remember is this.

It's all yours!

You must not mention this to anyone.

Mons/ignore?
Please, don't trouble yourself.

There's one small problem.

This gentleman doesn't have the full sum
for all the masses.

He has only... How much?

-350,000 lire.
- What do we do?

That doesn't matter. We're not merchants.

He can give what he has now
and the rest later.

You can come back for it, Father.
I'll explain to His Eminence.

I had set the money aside
to go to the fair tomorrow

and buy an animal to help me in my work.

I have to put something aside,

not for myself, but for my two girls.

One works as hard as a man,

but the other is crippled, poor thing.

Who's gonna look after them when I'm gone?

Come on. You mustn't talk like that.

God abandons no one.

Look what providence sent your way.
Right, Mons/ignore?

You bet!
I wish I had this peasant's rotten luck!

The Lord doesn't forsake His children.

- Do you have the money on you?
- Yes, right here.

If you wouldn't mind...

It's getting late.
His Eminence expects us at 5:00 p.m.

It's true. We have to go.

Forgive us, thank you and congratulations.

Excuse me, Mons/ignore!

Would you kindly speak to my daughter?

- I really can't.
- Please! Just a word or two.

Wait for me.

Thank you so much!

But don't tell her I asked you to.

Look, Monsignore wants to say hello.

I'll bring a chair.

No, I won't be long. No, stay there!

What's your name?

Susanna.

You must have faith in God, my child.

I know it must be a terrible thing
for you, but we must accept His will.

This is a valley of tears,
and everyone has their cross to bear.

I know that. I'm not complaining.

It's them.

What do you mean?

If I weren't a burden on my family,
I wouldn't care at all.

In your condition,
you're worried about them?

She has this fixation that she's a burden.
But she's our daughter!

Why do you say that?
It's not true at all.

She's always working.

She's excellent at keeping the books.

And she embroiders. Just look at her work.

Let me show Mons/ignore.
Look how beautiful.

That's her work.

Was she born this way?

No, it happened when she was nine. Polio.

Mother, go back inside.

- How old are you?
- Eighteen.

Nine years old...

I'm just fine here!

I have my embroidery.

I listen to music.

I feel like a queen.

It's my sister who has a hard life.

She's been out working in the fields
since 4:00 a.m.

Wouldn't you like to get better?

But that's impossible...

isn't it?

It would take a miracle.

Miracles happen sometimes.

Yes, I know.

Do you believe that?

Yes, I do.

Why?

I don't know why, but I do.

Through my misfortune, I've found God.

I'm always happy"-

even when I'm in terrible pain.

This is beautiful embroidery.

Are you leaving?

I have to go now.

I have to go.

You don't need me.

You're better off
than lots of other people.

Our lives...

the lives of so many people I know,

lack any beauty.

You're not missing much.

No, you don't need me.

And I have nothing to give you.

Mons/ignore, wait!

Don%go!

Pray for me!

Let go of me!

Could you have dug that hole
any deeper this morning?

You made me sweat like crazy.
What's the point of digging so deep?

- How did it go?
-350,000 lire.

We could've made more.

But it's all he had on him,
and we wanted to get going.

You did well. I didn't expect you so soon.

Who has the keys?

He does. Give him the keys.

What's that tune called?

The "Con Man's Symphony."

You're getting careless
with that "treasure," my friend.

Any idiot could have seen it was phony.

What are you talking about?

Remember the time in Viterbo
when I put pieces of glass in it?

- Yeah, I know.
- These peasants are such gullible fools!

What an isolated spot!

Would you like a nice house up here, eh?

Is there no echo here?

- Where's the cognac bottle?
- I drank it.

The way I was sweating,
I could have caught pneumonia.

I've had a pain here since this morning.
I told my wife about it.

She said, "You work too hard,"
and it's true.

- Where's the bottle? Ah, no, here it is!
- What are you doing with that bottle?

Adding more water.
I had to drive up the hill in second gear.

- When are you gonna junk this jalopy?
- Who's got the money?

Augusto.

You really are a pack of vultures.

I don't have the money. I didn't take it.

How could we possibly take it?

You wretches!
You'd even rob your own mothers!

What are you saying?

I couldn't do it, Vargas.

I didn't have the heart.

It was a poor old guy
with a crippled daughter,

working to keep her out of a hospice.

Don't make me laugh. What's he saying?

I saw you take it!

- I gave it back.
- When?

I gave it back, okay?

You're the biggest hypocrite I ever met.

You had your paws on 350,000
and you let it go? You of all people?

Have I ever cheated you?
I said I couldn't do it.

There's no point looking. It's not there.

Let's see if I find the money.

You were all in the car.
I was the one who spoke to the girl.

A poor girl stuck in a chair
for nine years,

who knows she'll never get better.

She looks you in the eye,
kisses your hand,

asks you to pray for her.

I'd like to see what you guys
would have done.

I have a daughter too. I couldn't do it.

All this effort and risk, all for nothing.
We risked going to jail!

Have you gone crazy?

Can't I have a conscience too?

That'd be a new one!

Is it really true?

I swear.

Let's go.

Hold it. We're all friends here.

Fine words, but I don't believe you!
Let me look!

Get off me!

- Keep your hands off!
- What are you doing? Come here.

I was there too, remember?

I saw you take it. You're pulling our leg.

Thanks for the laugh,
but enough is enough.

- I haven't got it!
- Search him!

If you haven't got it, what's the problem?
Let us take a look.

Get your hands off me!

Damn you, you hurt me!

He's got the money on him!

Come on! Just try it!

- I'm not afraid of you.
- You think this ends here?

What kind of scum are you?

Let him have it! Tear his tongue out!

You scoundrel! So you wanted to cheat me?

You'll bring it to me on your knees!

I'll kill you!

Where do you think you're going?

Where do you think you're going?

My back...

- Where is it?
- Don't!

My back!

- Where is it? Where did he put it?
- My back!

- Stop!
- Here it is!

The bastard had it in his shoe!

He had it hidden on him!

No, that's mine. I need it.
Leave me alone!

He's got it all on him!

- Where's the money?
- Here. Count it.

Swine.

Here's the money. Filthy coward.

- Give me the money.
- It's in his shoes, his pockets. All over.

A crippled daughter?

A crippled daughter!

You're through working with me

or anyone else in Rome.

I almost fell for it.

The bastard!

Let's go. Let's leave him here
to manage on his own.

And you'll get arrested in Rome!
What a bastard!

Vargas...

I'm hurt.

Go to hell! Let's go.

Your buddies are giving you
a nice little vacation in the countryside.

That was the dumbest trick
you ever tried to pull.

Vargas... I'm hurt!

- Riccardo, I'm really hurt.
- Who you trying to dupe?

Vargas... don't leave me.

I'm hurt.

I'm really hurt.

I can't move.

Riccardo.

Riccardo, listen to me.

- You're my friend.
- Yeah, right!

Don't leave me here.

You're young.

I can teach you...

I can teach you so much.

To be a bastard like you?

I have money stashed away.

We'll split it. Just don't leave me here!

Vargas, I know you're there.

Are you trying to scare me?

That's enough.

Of course they'll come back.

What if I die?

I can't die like this.

But... if I die...

Help! Help!

Help!

I knew it would end like this.

I always knew it.

What's the point of going on?

I don't have to look after anyone.

That's why I'm going to die.

I can't remember...

Oh, Patrizia, my child...

I'm better now.

I can do it.

I can do it.

Wait for me.

I'm coming.

I'm coming with you...

THE END