Ice Age: The Great Egg-Scapade (2016) - full transcript

Neil debuck weasel:
The universe...

A vast expanse
of space and matter.

It includes all that we see,
and all that we know.

Since the beginning of time,

we have wondered
how it came to be.

A gloriously
orchestrated plan?

A chance series of events?

Or something
much, much dumber?

Aha!

Eee!

It's a beautiful day
out here on the ice...



As father meets daughter

in a quest for
hockey supremacy.

It's peaches meets Manny.

Mammoth meets mammoth.

Mano a mano.

Meema me moo-ma.

Mama may mee-mee.

Will you two quit it?

M-okay.

Meanie.

The blazing mammoth
takes it on the breakaway.

There's never been a player
so tough, so graceful.

So desperate to score.

He fakes right.
He fakes left.



He fakes knowing
how to play.

Huh?
What's wrong?

Lose something?

Hey, what's that stink
I smell out there? It's Manny!

Hey, hey. It's Manny!

Whoo! You stink!

Okay, fuzzball.
Let's see what you got.

You asked for it.

Yes! She dominates! Again.

Oh, please.
I went easy on you.

It's called good parenting.

Yeah, right. Face it.

I rule the ice now.

Oh, you talk
a big game, hotshot.

All right,
how about
best of three?

Whoo-hoo! Yes!
Touchdown!

Wait, no, that's not right.
Not touchdown. What is it?

Uh, hole-in-one!
Whoo!

Julian!
Whoa!

Ow!
Sorry.

Honey, I scored!
Did you see me?

Yeah!
And you were amazing.
Whoa! Whoa!

Careful!

Oh, the ice
is really icy.

It's like super-sized,
extra value icy.

But I'm getting
better, right?

Whoa!

Okay, we'll play... later.

So, she whupped
your butt again, huh?

And with a butt
that size,

that's a whole lot
of whuppin'.

Nobody was whupped.
There was no whupping.

It's just a loving father

sharing some strategy
with his only daughter.

Didn't know sucking
was a strategy.

Okay, it's our turn.

Let's show them
how it's done!

You're going down, eh?

Whoa! Whoa!
Whoa!

Ta-ta-da-da!

For you, my mom-in-law-to-be.

Buttercups!

Nature's sunshine.

Isn't sunshine
nature's sunshine?

Aw! Thank you, Julian.

It's been so long
since anyone's
given me flowers.

But you're marrying
our daughter.

You don't have to
keep bringing us presents.

But it makes me happy.

And for you, my guru,
my rock, my main mammoth...

To you, I give
the greatest gift of all.

Wait. What are you doing?

Come on, bro-dad.
Bring it in.

Oh!

I can feel your
heart beating.

Okay. That's enough of that.

You better get
used to it.

They'll be living
right next door.

Come on, Julian.
Wanna go?

Actually, weren't you gonna
help me with the thing?

Oh! Right. The thing.

Gotta do the thing.

I can do the thing.

No!

It's a girl thing.

Hey! Why don't you
go do a guy thing?

You know,
you don't spend

nearly enough time
with your friends.

I don't?
I'll see you later.

On this special day.

Uh... okay.

Have you told them
about our decision yet?

No. I'm waiting
for the right time.

Come on, Romeo.
Walk with me.

I'm gonna watch
some butterflies

come out of their cocoons.

Whoa! Really?
No.

Goodbye, sweetie.

Aw! I remember when Manny
and I used to be like that.

Not me! Love them
and leave them,

and take half
of everything.

That's my motto.

Mi amor, so many ladies
have tried and failed...

To strap a saddle
on sid the stallion.

But I want to share
everything with you.

You're the wind
beneath my fleas,

the algae of my eye.

Will you be my mate for life?

Sidney?
Mmm?

Sidney, where are you?

Francine.

I need to ask...

Ow!

I need to
ask you something.

Will you marry...

Sid, I'm gonna
stop you right there.

I'm breaking up with you.

What? But I planned
our whole future!

Our wedding.

Our kids.

Mommy.

Our burial plots.

How you doing?

I even hired a band.

Hey!

No, no. Not yet!

Are you crazy?
We've only had one date.

It lasted 14 minutes!

Yes, but it felt like 20.

Ugh!

I can't! A ring?

I mean,
i like the ring, but no.

I can't. You're too clingy.

How is this clingy?

And by the way,

you look nothing like
your profile picture.

Francine,
you gotta start dating

outside of your species.

Franny, we can work this out.
Is this about the bikini? Ow!

I didn't know
it was poison Ivy.

Oh! Uh-oh.

Franny. Franny, help!

Somebody.

Is it the eyes that hurt...

Or my soul?

Ow!

Definitely the eyes.

Ah, women!

Yeah, women.

What about them?

I don't get 'em.

Like, Ellie.
Life's great with her.

There's no surprises.
Nothing ever changes.

But then today,
she giggled.

Does shira ever
just giggle?

Please don't eat me!

Uh... shira's not
a big giggler.

Well, Ellie giggled.

And then she wiggled.

"Tee hee hee hee." Boom!

Don't ever do that again.

I have no idea why
she's acting so weird.

Women.

Women.

Women.

Hello?

And speaking of weird.

Anybody there? Oh!

Marco? Polo?

Oh, hi, Manny.

Ew! Your breath is awful.

What happened
to you?

Oh, nothing.
Everything's great.

Fabulous. Zippity-dippity.

Okay, let me guess.
She dumped you.

What is wrong with me?

Everybody has somebody.

And all I've got is
my boyish good looks

and this mariachi band.

Oh! So itchy!

Come on.
Let's get you cleaned up.

Ahh!

Whoa!

All I wanted
is true love.

Is that too much to ask?

Why is it so quiet?

Because the world
is mourning my loss.

Ellie?

Peaches?

Where is everyone?

Surprise!

Uh... huh?

Ta-da!

Happy anniversary, honey!

Anniversary?

Oh, no. That's the thing.

Okay! Now it's
your turn, bro-dad!

Yeah! We wanna see
what you got Ellie.

Manny!

Manny! Manny! Manny!

Manny!

Hey, hey. Right.

Uh...

How about
another hand for Ellie?

Yeah.

Oh.

He forgot!

I feel so bad for Ellie.

Ellie, I... uh...

Ooh! Ah!

He didn't forget.

That's how big
Manny's love is for her!

Nice save
with the light show.

Wait, you didn't do this?
Then who did?

Oh, Manny.

I was so afraid
you'd forgotten.

But you lit up
the sky for me?

How'd you do it?

Uh, well...

A magician never
reveals his secrets.

Oh...

Thank you.

I keep picturing
our own kid in there.

He'd be the best one.

I think you meant "she."

He.

Either way,
we've been
over this, Diego.

Kids are afraid of us.

Yeah, but why?

Are they gonna eat us?

Hi, kids!

I even smiled this time.

Wow, dad.

Best present ever.

You, sir, are an education
in marital excellence.

I'm really gonna
miss you guys
when we leave.

Ow!

Um, actually,
i haven't told them yet.

Oh.

Surprise!

You're leaving?

I thought you guys
were gonna live with us

the first couple of years.

I know. But Julian and I

kind of want to
roam for a while.

- Roam?
- Yeah!

Travel, explore,
just go wherever.

No plan is the best plan.
That's my philosophy.

Hors d'oeuvres?

That's not a plan,
or a philosophy...

Or very safe.

Dad, we're young.

We can worry about being safe
when we're old and boring.

Like you and mom.

I think we should just...
Excuse me!

This is a family discussion.

But aren't i
part of your family?

Not yet, you're not.

Uh...

Does that look like
a problem to you?

A ball of fire heading
directly towards us?

Why would that
be a problem?

What if you fall in a ditch
and get amnesia?

What then, huh?

Manny, we have a problem.

Not now.
I have a problem.

This one's a little bigger.

I don't think so.
Manny!

What?

Manny?

Uh, okay.
Party's over, everybody.

Have a good night.
And leave right now!

What are you talking about?
The party just got started.

Yeah.

Just getting
kind of sleepy.

Everyone should go.
And duck. Possibly cover!

Hey, what's gotten into you?

Look! There's more coming!

Meteor shower!

Meteor?

Shower?

Manny's love
is killing us!

I suppose this is all part
of your magic show for me?

Abracadabra?

Can you guys
deal with this later?

Come on.
We need to
take cover.

Whoo-hoo! I'm on fire!

Whoo-hoo-hoo! Me too!
We're smoking hot, baby!

Incoming!

Those are ours!

Are you okay?
How many tusks
do you see?

Tree.

Three?

No! Tree!

Everybody, jump!

Whee!

The cave! Get inside!

Move! Move!

Whoa!
Whoa!

Oh!

It's okay, sweetheart.
Daddy's...

Hey, it sounds like
it's slowing down.

Yup, it's definitely over.

Except for that one.

We might wanna think

about moving underground
for a while.

Look at that!
I got an egg.

How many eggs
did you poach,
little brother?

Do we have to steal
other creatures' eggs?

I mean, couldn't we
just go vegan?

Sure, we could eat vegans.

Whoops! Oh-oh-oh!

Son, sometimes I wonder

how you snuck into
this family.

With you in a minute.
I'll have to
rinse and repeat.

That weasel
is such a buzzkill.

Let's go, kids.

Don't worry, ma'am.

I'll catch the crew
that poached your egg.

It's a pun!

I'm winking
under the eye patch.

But my friends call me buck.

Well played, guys.

Oh, love that bit.

Huh?
Hold on to your butts!

Good egg.

Here you are, my lady.

Huh?

Go! I'll lead them away.

Oh, that was fun!

Same time, same place,
next week?

Toodles!

Congratulations, weasel.

You just signed
your death warrant.

Weaseled my way out
of that one.

Hmm. What's all that
flash and dazzle about?

Oh!

Who puts a rock
in the middle
of the jungle?

Ow!

Mmm.

Ooh.

Ha!

Blimey!

What is this place?

Whoops!

Hmm.

Uh...

Hello?

Yeah!

Oh! Hello, mammals.

Hi, buck!

Hi.

Bye, buck!

Um, a little help.

Right on the spleen!

Utterly useless,
but totally hurts.

Hey, buck.
Welcome back, buddy.

Wait. This half-a-snack
is the dinosaur whisperer?

And expert salsa dancer.

Whoo!

I have one eye
but all my original teeth.

Would you like to
count them? Ah...

No, thank you.

And this must be nectarine.

Um... peaches.

Semantics, my dear.

I am deeply honored.

Sweet eye patch.
Very gangsta.

Thank you.

- I like this kid.
- Buck.

Whoa!
What are you doing here?

Well, I... what?

I'm trying!

But how do you
tell someone
they're doomed?

He's stumped.

We're not doomed, buck.

It was just a meteor shower,
and the show's over.

Ahh!

Oh, quite the contrary,
old chap.

It's just beginning.

You see, I found a prophecy.

Do you mind?

Boy, he really sucks
the fun out of
everything. Doesn't he?

Fun sucker!

I read this tablet
front to back.

And the story it tells
is very disturbing.

Every hundred million
years or so,

the world gets
a cosmic cleansing.

Before the dinosaurs,

there were these horseshoe
crab-looking thingies.

Ugh! Yuck.

Then, at the bottom
of this mountain range,

an asteroid hit.

Boom! Bye-bye.

Next, dinosaurs,
mountain range, asteroid.

Boom! Bye-bye.

And coming up next, mammals.

Mountain range,
asteroid, boom!

Bye-bye.

Stupid mammals.

That's us.

Mmm.

Yep, and there she is.

The mother of all asteroids
screaming towards us.

Even going underground
won't save us this time.

Hey, that wasn't
there before.

And look what
it's doing to the sky.

No worries.
Because I've got a plan.

Really? To stop
an asteroid?

Look, the last two asteroids

have pummeled the earth
in the same spot.

And it's about to
happen again.

We've got to go there

and see what's attracting
the asteroid.

Once we know
why it's coming...

We can figure out
how to send it
somewhere else.

That plan is so dumb,

I wish it had a face
so I could smack it.

Let me get this straight.

Instead of running away
from a deadly asteroid...

You want us to run
directly towards it?

I know it sounds suboptimal,
but the good news is...

It'll kill us
no matter where we went.

Well, that's reassuring.

Okay, but even if
we get to the crash site...

How are we supposed to change

what is literally
written in stone?

Ah, my cynical friend.

The dinos were wiped off
the face of the earth,

but some escaped.

They changed their fate
and we can change ours, too.

Who's with me?

So, what do you think?

Honestly, I'm worried
the weasel's right.

No!
Don't listen to the weasel.

He's a raving loon!

Sorry.
I just love playing
devil's advocate.

And looking fabulous!

Well, buck has saved
our lives before, right?

But what if
he can't this time?

I don't know
what to believe.

But I'm afraid
our lives will be over

before they begin.

Okay.

I guess we're in.

Crash and Eddie
reporting for duty.

Doody.

Excellent!
And dirty word
processed.

Now, we better
get on the road

because time till
impact is roughly...

2 days, 4 hours,
1 minute and 16 seconds.

15 seconds, 14 seconds...

I think we get it.

I think we're
all gonna get it.

Whoo! We look so cool.

Whoa!

Ugh. What is this stuff?

Where is he?
When I am through with
that one-eyed weasel...

He's going to need
two eye patches.

I admire your
bloodthirstitude, gertie.

But you heard them.

An asteroid is coming.

This changes things.

Holy snowballs!
It's freezing up here.

Parts are retracting
into other parts.

Would you please
stop acting
like a parakeet?

It's a good thing
you got your
mother's eyes...

Or you'd be
totally useless.

Well, that's just
hurtful.

What do you see?

Nothing. Nothing.

Deadly asteroid
screaming towards earth.

Wait! There he is.

That's too bad.
He is really far away.

Probably too far
to reach by flight.

Oh, well.
Let's just go home.

We are not retreating!

Until that weasel
came along...

Our family made
an honest living

stealing dino eggs.

An honest living. Stealing.

Kind of ironic,
don't you think?

Besides,
why take out the weasel

if the asteroid is
just gonna take us out?

So much sight.
So little vision.

If we stop the weasel
and his friends

from diverting
the asteroid...

Kablooie!

It kills the weasel
and everyone else...

While we glide
safely above it all.

It'll be our paradise.

That's seems
highly implausible.

Just from
a scientific standpoint.

Fine. It's a great plan.
Dynamite!

One of the top
three or four

species annihilation plans
I've ever heard.

That's better.

Now let's make sure
that asteroid hits.

Why can't we just
fear the apocalypse

like a normal family?

Whoa!

Mmm.

Mmm?

What are you doing, buck?

All rocks tell a tale.

Where we've been
and where we're heading.

Ah!

That, however,
is a turd.

Julian...

I want you to know
that if we don't make it...

If we never get married...

You were the
only one for me.

Hey, come on!

Of course we'll make it,
and we will get married.

But maybe it's the universe
telling us we won't.

Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!

You're going to let
one tiny little...

300-mile-wide asteroid
ruin your plans?

How can we think
about our future

when we may not have one?

Hey, we're going to
stop this thing

and you'll get married.

Bada-bing, bada-boom!

Well, not boom.
Forget I said boom.

I know!
I'll be your
wedding planner!

It'll take your mind

off all this
end-of-the-world stuff.

Actually, we were
just gonna wing it!

Keep it low-key.

What?

Peaches, peaches.
Sweetheart,

you don't just wing
the happiest day
of your life!

No, you seize it
and you Cherish it.

You strangle it
with good intentions.

Ooh. Let's start
with your hair.

Updo with a top bun?
Traditional.

Or updo with
a fishtail braid.
Flirtatious.

But maybe a little trashy.

Ugh.

And garter belts!

Today, ed is modelling
laced daisies.

While crash is rocking
a more elegant Ivy...

That's all about the calves.

Ooh. We need
a seating chart!

The singles table,
the kids table,

the weird relatives table...

The smelly table,
two more smelly tables.

Look at him.

Oh,
you're gonna love it.

Who walks like that?

Oh! Look at me.

I'm Julian.

Forget the asteroid.

Gimme a hug, bro-dad!

Look at
that pretty bird there.

Yeah! That is a pretty bird.
Good eye, Manny.

Yeah.

The sky is
literally falling...

And she thinks
we're just gonna

let her stroll
into the wilderness...

With Mr. no plans
bouncy walk.

Stop picking on him.

Come on, El, you're not
still mad at me, are you?

No. I'm not still mad.

Because that's not
how I want to spend

what could be our
final days together.

But if we somehow survive

that planet-killing
hunk of space rock...

You're in for it.

If we survive,
we lose our daughter.

Well, I've been thinking
about that, too.

What if...

Ooh. I know! We destroy
the relationship, right?

That way we never
have to let her go...

And she'll just stay
our little girl forever!

No, you psychopath!

What if we convince them
to stay near us?

Oh! That's better.

I like it. But how?

The way we always
get her to do what we want.

We make her think
it's her idea.

You sneaky, sneaky minx!

Let's just hope
we haven't lost our touch.

Found it!

Behold, mammals!

A sneak preview
of the asteroid to come.

A space rock.
Fresh from the cosmos.

Mmm, mmm, mmm.

I taste iron, carbon.

Oh! And a hint of nickel.

Space tastes lonely.

Hey, look!
I found another one.

Me, too!

Hmm...

Hey! Yours is
attracted to me.

No. Yours is
attracted to me.

We're just too attractive!

Stupendous!
Now we have something

to play with
during our final hours.

You're missing
the point, tiger.

They're magnets.

And if these space rocks
are magnetic...

So is that.

This can only
mean one thing.

And that would be...

Allow me.

Whoa!

Where are we?

You are
in my brain.

Hmm. Kind of chilly.

Gentlemen,
here's what we know.

Space rocks? Magnetic.
Asteroid? Also, magnetic.

Famed astrophysicist
Neil debuck weasel!

He knows the cosmos.

Ipso facto,
thusly and ergo...

The crash site must have
a heap of these things

attracting the asteroid.

Ooh. Pythagoras buck.
He's got the right angle.

What if we use
the magnets

to attract the asteroids
somewhere else?

As in, not towards earth.

Theoretically speaking,

if we can launch
enough of these
into space...

They will pull
the asteroid off course.

Thus, saving the world.

So, we just need to
go to the crash site...

And launch a bunch of
rocks into space.

That's easy, right?

Oh, yeah. Sounds like
a real piece of cake.

This is progress!

Now we know exactly
what we don't
know how to do.

Vamanos, mammals!

This trail will take us
directly to the crash site.

All right, kids.

Let's have some fun.

Oh!

Okay, everyone.
Follow the trail.

Never leave the trail.

Hmm?

Okay, everyone.
Leave the trail.

Into the forest.
Chop, chop.

But you just said...

You know I'm crazy. Come on.

I love the shade.
Don't you?

Well played, weasel.

Stay sharp, kids.

They can't hide forever.

Hey, buck.

You have a suggestion
for getting around the river?

Let's see if the
tablet's ancient wisdom
will guide us.

Hmm.

Hmm.

Let my mammals pass!

That's never gonna work.

The ancients
Grant us safe passage.

Sweet!

Wow, the air
feels strange.

Uh...

Diego?

Hmm...

What?

Finally! We have
superpowers!

Ladies and gentlemen,

we have wandered
into an electrical storm.

I suggest we all
stay away from the trees.

Sure, no problem.

It's not like
we're in a forest.

Boy, mother nature sure
is in a bad mood lately.

Good thing we're all here
to help each other.

Oh, like I always say,
stay close, stay alive.

There they are!

Right out in the open.

How stupid can you be?

Come on, kids. Dive!

Everyone, try not to create
any sort of friction.

No friction. Got it.

Yup. Cool beans.

Friction is what now?

Oh, no.

Come on!
Let's get out of here.

Hurry, granny.

Don't you hurry me.

I've been struck by
lightning more times...

Ahh! Granny!

...than you've had
hot breakfasts.

Peaches!

Julian, don't move!

Oh!

I have an idea.

I'm coming, sweetheart!

Julian, why aren't you
helping her?

Wait! No, Manny, she...

Uh, what are you guys doing?

Helping?

What would
"not helping"
look like?

Hey, zapheads!

Whoo!

Manny, get ready to run.

Come on, let's go!

Everybody make it?

Shira, Manny, crash,
Eddie, Ellie, granny.

Aw, shoot!
I'm out of fingers.

Buck. Where's buck?

Do you hear that?

A baby!

There's a baby in there!

Buck, wait!
It's too dangerous.

He's gone.

I can't believe it.

Don't know how we'll
go on without you, buck.

All right, let's go.

It's buck!

Huh?

I got you.
Don't worry,
i got you.

There you are. There.

Say "hi," everyone.

Huh?

Isn't she gorgeous?

How can he tell
it's a she?

Oh.

Such a good
little poochie-woochie.

Just to be clear,
that's a pumpkin, right?

She has a little jaundice,
but I think she'll be okay.

Yes, you will.

I think I'll call you...
Bronwyn.

Um, little buddy?
We need you back
on planet earth.

While it's still here. Okay?

Right you are, mammal.

Who wants to save the world
from the fiery asteroid?

You do!

Hmm.

Mmm...

Okay, mammals.
Let's stop here
for the night.

Stop? What about the whole

end of the world
collision thing?

Oh, asteroid's
still a day off.

And like my grandfather
used to say...

"Red sky at night,
sailor's delight.

"Purple sky at night,
who moved my foot cream?

"I need my foot cream."

Grampy was a confused
and angry weasel.

You are so funny, j.

Stop! You're funny.

Take it easy, my brother
from a tiger mother.

Hasta manana, j-man.

What was that?

What was what?

Oh, that! It's a cool way
to peace out.

Julian taught it to me.

Well, I'm glad the apocalypse
is bringing you together.

He's a good kid, Manny.
I like his philosophy.

Give him a chance.
Bond with him.

Bonding!
That's a good idea!

Oh, right. Got you.

You take Julian.
I got an idea for peaches.

Hey, bro-kid.

Oh, hey, bro-dad.
You here to rock out?

Okay. Instead of that...

How about a game
before bedtime?

No way! You want to play
a game with me? Wow!

What is honored times 1,000?

No! Times one million?

'Cause whatever that equals,
is how honored I am.

So, is that a "yes"?

Yes, that's a "yes."
It's the most "yes"!

It's like "yes"
with a bunch of s's...

So it's like
"yessssssssssssssssssss."

Great!

I'll see you on the ice!

Happy?

Whoa!

Oh, boy.

So, do you think you're ready
to go out roaming on your own?

I won't be alone.
I'll have Julian.

Sure. But with
asteroids flying...

No home to speak of

and absolutely
no support system...

Do you think
you'll be ready for...

This?

I'm a wittle baby.

Imagine. You're in the woods,
looking for food...

And your baby gets sick.
What do you do?

Uh...

No! Jiggling makes
her feel worse!

Oh, no! Now your
older toddler

has a skinned knee
and a stuffy nose.

Mommy, hold me!

Now your babies are crying.

You have no food and then

you come face to face
with a rabid beast!

I am a rabid beast
who gives
rabies to babies.

And there's an arsonist
on the loose.

How are you going to handle
all this without our help?

Huh?
Ah!

Ah!

Peaches, out!

That's just the easy stuff.

There's a lot more
we still need to cover.

Uh... baby made a poopie.

I'm a method actor,
so I will need to be changed.

Oh! So close!

These pucks go fast.

Just watch the puck
all the way into the stick.

Oh! I did it!

Too bad you and peaches
are moving away.

If you stayed,
we could do this
all the time.

Okay. Show me the heat!

I'm like a hockey ninja!

Hey, peaches!

Looks like you got
a new hockey partner

to replace your dad.

Oh!

Oh, no.

Julian!

Such a mystery
why he wants
to move far away.

I didn't mean to do it.

It's not my fault
the kid has no reflexes.

How could you
do that to him?

I thought you liked Julian.

I do like Julian.

Well, you don't act like it.

When you look at him,
all you see is an obstacle.

Or worse, a target.

But I see a sweet guy...

Who's trying his hardest
to impress you.

Peaches.
No! Both of you,
just stop!

If we survive,
I'm still getting married

and I'm still leaving home.

Whether you're happy
for me or not.

Don't give me that look.
She said both.

That means you, too.

And this widdle astewoid

went wee, wee, wee,
all the way home.

Hey...

Eh...

Because daddy
and his fwiends
saved the world.

Sweet dreams, little one.

Lucky pumpkin!

It must be nice to
have a loving father.

Whoo.

Okay, here we go.
You can do this, Roger.

Yay! Kidnapping!

Look I'm sorry. It's not me.

I would never do
something like this.

It's my father. He's crazy.

I can't believe
he pulled it off!

Way to go, dum-dum!

Oh. Thanks, dad.

Whatever! I could've
done the same thing.

Well, well.

Looks like you're not
stopping that asteroid now,

are you, weasel?

Huh?

That's not the weasel.
That's...

I don't know what that is.
Hmm.

Whoa!

Is it my time, angel?

Time for what?

I'm coming to the light.

Can't wait to see all those
dead relatives I hate.

Ahh! Get it off!
Get it off! Get it off!

Go help your sister.

But, dad...

Ahh! Demon angel!

Mess with granny,
get knocked on your Fanny.

And that's how
it's done. Hmm.

Hello? Angel?

Am I in heaven?

It's so dark
and squishy in here.

Huh?

Oh, no! I can still
see the light.

Ow!

Pop! I'll save you.

Whee!

Hello!

Oh, well.
Probably for the best.

Yeah, probably.
Definitely.

Crikey!

Mmm.

Good gravy, buck.
What have you done?

All right, mammals.
Time to get moving.

Now let's not linger
on this, but, yes...

I read the tablet wrong.
The asteroid is a lot closer.

Uh-oh.

Wait a second.
Where's granny?

Oh.
Granny? Oh, granny?

Maybe she wandered off?

Maybe she got
hit in the head
with a puck?

Yes! And maybe
she was abducted

by homicidal
30-foot dino-birds...

Seeking revenge on me.

All good theories.
I'm going to go
with the puck.

I knew it!

So this whole time we've been
chased by giant dino-birds?

Oh, only three!
I didn't want to
damage morale.

Right. Because before this,

we were on
a carefree
pleasure cruise.

Wait a second.

I've got her scent. Come on!

Whoa!

Mammals, we've made it!

The crash site.

This must be what's left
of the previous asteroid.

Uh, buck?
Your space rocks!

We could definitely
divert the asteroid

with a magnet that size!

I mean that thing
is enormous.

It's massive, it's...

...going to be impossible
to get off the ground.

It's entirely possible.

In a way that
we don't know
about yet.

But what about
the dino-birds?

And what about granny?

Nothing.

I'm sorry, sid.

Oh, granny.
My sweet,
malicious granny.

Why does it always have to be
the old ones who go first?

Why?

I can still hear her
sweet, shrill voice...

Shrieking from
the afterlife.

Granny's alive!

And she's in trouble!

Granny?

Granny?
Granny?

Is she okay?

Uh, I'm not sure.

Unhand my granny!

You do and
you don't get a tip.

Making this beautiful
sloth happy

is all the payment I need.

You see?
Hunky bunny gets it.

Granny!

There's a bunny
living in the asteroid?

Did not see that coming.

Wait till you see this!

Oh!

Whoo-hoo!

Yeah!

Catching mad air
on the half-pipe!

This is crazy.

Do you think they know

they are living in
a magnetic bull's-eye?

Doesn't look
like a lot of

doomsday prepping
going on in here.

I can't believe it!

Visitors!

We've never had
visitors.

Somebody pinch me.
Or should I pinch you?

Wait, I'll pinch both of us.

Did I hit my head?
What's happening here?

I sure hope this
isn't a... oh!

Dream!

This guy? For real?

Whatever.

Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!

Hello, handsome.

I'm Brooke.

Ooh. Such exquisite
bone structure.

Such a strong jaw.

I'm getting butterflies!

I'm getting nauseous.

Sorry to interrupt this
weirdo love connection...

But we're kind of
in a hurry.

If we don't do
something fast...

That asteroid is gonna
blow us all to smithereens.

Oh. That sounds urgent.

I better take you to him.

Who's "him"? Your leader?

He is our everything.

He sees all.

He knows all.

And smells amazing!

Okay. He sounds great.
Let's go!

Brilliant.
Right this way.

Whoo-hoo!

Yes!

Please keep
your arms and legs

inside the tram at all times.

But allow your spirit
to roam free...

In geotopia.

I have a good feeling
about this.

Maybe he'll be
able to help us.

She did say
he knows all.

And all's a lot!

Here he is.

The master of meditation,
the supreme serene...

The four-time heavy thoughts
champion of the world!

Is that a llama?
I hate llamas.

They spit and smell.

So does she.

So do we!

Oh!

Greetings, mammals!

The shangri llama
will see you...

Now.

Ooh. Wonderful.

So where is he?

He is here.
Talking to you.

Oh, I get it.
He's a ventriloquist

and you're the dummy.

No, you're the dummy.
No, you're the dummy.

No, you're the dummy.

This is the guy
that's going to save us.

- Look within.
- You're the dummy.

Disgusting! Loved that!

New topic.
We're all about to die.

Well, that's no good.
Stress is a killer.

Let us loosen our limbs
and open our minds.

Downward dog!

Uh... seriously?

I'll wait. I have all the
time in the world.

Actually, you don't have
all the time in the world.

None of us do. You see,
there's this thing in the sky.

Oh. That blinding light

that seems to get
larger by the minute?

What about it?
Seems fine to me.

With all due respect,
your twistiness,

that's an asteroid.

It's magnetically
attracted to this place

and it's heading
straight for us.

Aha!

It must desire
our magnetic crystals.

Well, who can blame it?

They're really
quite something.

Did you know their power
grants eternal youth?

I am over 400 years old.
Mmm-hmm.

- That's not possible.
- Sure it is.

I'm 326! Whoo!

Huh? You don't look
a day over 275.

We are young,
happy and safe.
And we always will be.

Thanks to geotopia!

Kudos. It is lovely.

Now, let's figure out
a way to launch it into space!

I'm sorry.
You want to
destroy our home?

It'll be destroyed
either way.

But if we propel
this magnetic material

into the atmosphere...

We can change the asteroid's
path and save everyone.

What do you say?

Caterpillar!

So, is that a yes?
Or...

Oh.

You are storing
a lot of hostility

in your lower spine.

Shangri llama,
how are we gonna...

Funky chicken. Jiggy jelly.
Mashed potato.

Your flexibility
is a sight to behold.

Now how the devil

are we going to
launch these crystals?

You can't.
It's impossible.

Whoo! I am bushed.

Awesome meeting you guys.

Feel free to hang or,
you know, whatever.

Hmm.

That's it.
He was our last hope.

We're doomed.

Yeah. All we got
was a free yoga class.

On that subject...

Could you help me, please?

My nose is dangerously
close to my butt.

Uh, sid, why do
you have two tails?

I'm in here, too.

Hey, don't cry.

Look on the bright side.

We get to see our lives
flash before our eyes.

That means I get to
fall in love with you...

All over again.

Only you can make
the end of the world

sound like a good thing.

We did a good job
raising her.

She's stronger
than we know.

Two days ago, I'd have given
anything to keep her with us.

Now I'd give anything
just to see her get married,

and leave home.

Play with her kids,
dance with her husband.

Yell at him when
he forgets
their anniversary.

It was a good one,
wasn't it?

Our life?
You, me, and peaches.

The best.

Oh, Brooke.

You're so pretty.

You take my lisp away.

I bet you
say that to all the girls.

I try. But usually
they run away too fast.

Oh, you're such a romantic.

Hey, I know this is going to
sound super forward...

But will you be
my mate for life?

Oh, Brooke,
i don't know what to say.

It's only been
twelve minutes.

What took you so long?

Yes! This has been

the best last day
on earth ever.

A diamond!
I need a diamond!

Where can I find a...

Oh! Perfect.

No, no, no.
Sid, sweetie,
don't do that.

Nonsense. Only the best
for my one... true... love.

Whoopsies!

No, no, no!

Oaf! Simpleton!
Nincompoop!

You talking to
her or me?

That wall was the one thing
keeping us young.

Now we're all
doomed! Doomed!

And now,
i think I have a fever.

Thank you so much, doofus!

Hey! Easy there, llama!

This is the doofus
of my dreams.

He meant well.

Oh, he meant well.

Who cares?

So much for Serenity.

300 years of
peace and Harmony...

Undone by one colossally,
incredibly...

Stupendously stupid sloth!

Oh, Brooke.

Wow! You guys got old.

Whatever we had,
it's over.

That's what happens
when you date
a cougar.

I'm really sorry, Mr. llama.

Sorry. Sorry?

Sorry doesn't fix
the wall now,

does it, you little...

I need a bubble bath
or a massage.

Who knows acupuncture?

I need to let my
anger out. Let it out!

I've been pent up
too long.

I want to hit something.
Someone give me their face.

That's it! Pent-up energy.

Earth's most powerful
propulsion device

is right in front of us.

Who? Spitty McGee here?

The volcano!

That's our magnet launcher.

All we need to do is seal
the steam vents around it.

That's a crazy plan!

You're a crazy plan.

That doesn't even
make any sense.

And what are you?
A professor of logic?

Professor kitty mcwhiskers

of the university
of meow meow meow meow...

You see? Tremendous pressure

leads to
a tremendous explosion.

And you call yourself
a professor.

Right. We need
all the crystals

loaded into the volcano,
pronto.

What? No!

I'm not giving you
my crystals.

We need them to
rebuild our sanctuary.

May I remind you
geotopia is not yours to keep.

No, you may not.

It came from the sky,

and now it's time
to give it back.

Is not!

Is too, you old coot.

Change isn't easy,
but it's part of life.

It's time for us
to embrace it again.

Whether you like it or not.

Not!

Listen, llama, I will go
nuts and granola on your butt!

So either get on board...

Or go twist yourself
into a pretzel

and na-ma-stay
out of our way.

Come on, everybody.

Grab every crystal
you can find.

Totally,
let's do it!

And remember,
lift with your legs.

Too late.

Listen up,
planetary defense team.

Step one, build pressure

inside the volcano
by sealing the vents.

No steam can escape.

If there's a leak...

The pressure is weak.

Step two, get the biggest
magnetic crystals

into the volcano.

They've got to be
launched sky high

to pull the asteroid
off course.

- Heave!
- Ho!

- Heave!
- Ho!

Rah rah! Sis boom bah!

Tell that asteroid "uh-uh."

Whoo!
#asteroid!

#whatdoeshashtagmean?

#idon'tknowbutitsoundscool!

#totally!

#i'mstartingtogetsickofit!

This is it, friends.
Down the hatch.

Every crystal counts.

Good news, everyone!

We're six minutes
ahead of schedule.

Somebody up there likes us.

Bad news! Somebody up there
doesn't like us.

We're six minutes
behind schedule!

Double time, everyone.
We need that big crystal.

Oh. Hey, bro-dad!

We got company!

Ooh. I'll put out
the sponge cake.

Steady.

Steady.

Sorry about this.

I'm really conflicted
right now.

That's more like it, Roger.
Now finish him.

Wait! Wait,
you don't understand.

You see that?

If that asteroid hits,
we all die.

If it hits,
we all die.

That's where
you're wrong.

See, while you run
for your mammal lives...

We'll be high in the sky,
cruising above it all.

That's the stupidest thing
I've ever heard!

We'll be as safe
as those little birdies.

Lucky shot.

Very lucky shot?

I knew it. I was right.
There's no paradise.

What? I'm too young
to go extinct!

She gets it! Now, please,
we haven't got much time!

What are you
waiting for?
Kill him!

No, dad. I won't let you.

Do you want to know
what I love
about our family?

That we're alive.

There are more
important things

than your pride right now.

If you care about us...

You should not kill him.

You should help him, dad.

Pop, I hate to say this,

but my freaky
little brother
may be right.

As a father, I would
work with my worst enemy...

To ensure a brighter future
for my little one.

Reinforcements
have arrived!

All right, Roger.
Lead the way.

Oh! So that's what
approval sounds like.

Keep it up, dinos.

Use that Jurassic
super strength!

Beep, beep, beep.

Watch out, kids!

The weasel has landed.

I'll push it in.
Go with peaches and Ellie!

No!

I'm not leaving you!
We'll do this together!

Mom, where are they?

Ellie, we've got to get
everyone off the volcano.

Folks, I'm outta cake,
but I got salami!

Faster, faster!

I'mouttacakebutigotsalami!

Granny, come on!
Hey! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!

This isn't working.

Mad air on the half-pipe!

Manny, I have a plan!

We have to let
the crystal go!

You know we're trying to
get it in the volcano, right?

Manny, the only thing I want
is a life with peaches.

And to prove myself to you.

So, okay, two things.
I want two things.

Do you really think
I'd waste the only
chance I have left?

Okay, let's do it!

On my count. One...

Two...

Three!

What are they doing?

Did it work?

Yes! I take back everything
i ever said about you!

Wait, what?

Huh?

Now let's get out of here!

What happened?

Maybe it's the quiet
before the crazy?

Hmm.

Eddie!

Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!

We did it. We did it!

In your face,
space rock!

Yeah, baby!

Whoo-hoo! Yeah! Oh!

Hmm.

Not on the lips, geezer!

Yes! Yeah! Whoa!
All right!

Bring it in, bro-son.
Welcome to the family.

And you, you coconut!

I'll never doubt you again.

See? Daddy's always right.

Remember that
when you're older.

Are you sure
you can't come with us?

Oh, Sidney,
i wish I could.

But we both know
this is for the best.

You've got your whole life
in front of you.

Besides, I'll have granny
to keep me company.

You're staying, too?

Are you kidding?
This place is great!

Tonight's the big talent show,
and tomorrow, naked bingo!

You coming, Gladys?

I ain't getting
any younger! Whoo!

What? I can't hear you!

What? I can't hear you!

What? I can't hear you!
What?

You'll always be
my one true love.

Here.

Wow!

Hold on.

It looks just like you.

Now we'll be with
each other forever.

So long, handsome!

Bye, Sidney!

What you need
is more fiber.

He's right.

Shangri llama's
back on top, baby!

Ooh. Ah! Mmm.

Gladys?

Well, hello Teddy bear!

Mmm-hmm.

Hot tubbin' just got
a whole lot hotter.

Amazing!
It's like some kind of

"fountain of
never getting old!"

Well, we can workshop
the name later.

Where's the bride?
Why don't I have the bride?

'Cause you're talking
into a twig.

Mom, I can't talk.
I'm at a wedding.

What do you mean
you can't talk?

Who are you with?

Um, excuse me.

Is it true you helped save
the world from an asteroid?

Um...

That's a very scary story.

You think
you can handle it?

Yeah.

How scary?

Well, we were... oh!
Oh!

Hi!

It was five minutes
to midnight...

And we were up
against volcanoes,

dino-birds,
and the end of the world.

Oh, and the zombies!
Don't forget the zombies!

You know,
we'd be great parents.

So I turn to bigfoot,
and I say,

"listen, big guy..."

I don't know. I don't know!
What am I gonna do?

Sweetie, listen to me.
This is normal, okay?

Everyone gets nervous.

What's going on?
What happened?

It's just...

I can't go. How can I go?

I don't wanna
leave you guys.

Hey, fuzzball...

Remember the first time
that we played hockey?

You were so afraid
to get on the ice

because it was slippery?

Remember how I held you up
while you started to skate?

And when I knew
you were ready,
i let you go.

Aw, dad.

I know you're ready.
Now you have to let go.

I always knew it would take
someone very special

to match your spirit.

And you found him.
Just like I did.

It's your time, sweetie.

See the world,
chase your dreams.

And whenever you
decide to come back...

We'll be here, okay?

Okay.

Oh.

Do you...

I do.

And do you...

Most def.

I now pronounce you...

Sid!

Brooke!

Oh! Whoa! Ow!

Oops!

This is amazing!

You're young again.
And somehow,
I'm still single.

I guess the universe
was smiling on us.

I have so many
questions for you.

What happened?
How'd you find me?

Have you tried the shrimp?

Shh. Close that pretty
little mouth of yours

and just listen.

This is dedicated to
the sloth of my dreams.

That guy? For real?

Whoa!

Sid?

I never thought I'd say this,

but you did a great job
on the wedding.

I owe you bigtime, pal.

You sure do.

Here's my bill.
What?

Father of the bride
pays for the wedding.

It's a tradition
i just invented.

Wait a minute,
this is ridiculous.

Look what you're
charging for flowers!

Flowers ain't cheap.

No! They're free!
We're in a forest!

This bill is outrageous!

Neil debuck weasel: Mars.

The red planet.

Cold, dry,
inhospitable to life.

But billions and billions
of years ago...

Mars looked like this.

There were lakes,
rivers, oceans...

The perfect conditions
for life to form.

So, what happened?

Why was life
unable to take hold?

Where did the water go?

We may never know.