I Wonder Who's Killing Her Now? (1975) - full transcript

[theme music]

[piano music]

Magnificent.

Oh, I'm going to be
magnificent tonight

at the charity
ball, for which you

shall receive a handsome sum.

In small bills.

Yes, small bills.

I'll pay you in
teeny tiny bills.

Well, I'm going
to be magnificent.

I don't understand
how you get such tone



from that little instrument.

I was a child prodigy.

Oh, I see.

Now, remember, come
a half hour early

and hide in the bass drum.

Thanks.

I will see you tonight.

Tonight.

And what a night it shall be.

Oh, come in through
the doggy door,

and watch out for the doggy doo.

This is difficult for
me to say to you, Oliver,

knowing that you were married
to your wife and her father

being a founder of this firm.



Is that all, sir?

Sit down, sit down.

There's more.

It has been brought to
my attention, Oliver,

that there are certain
irregularities in your handling

of customer's accounts as well
as your own personal portfolio.

Well, I have been a little
behind in my paperwork,

but my putting's improving.

It isn't your paperwork
we're getting to.

It's you're stealing
that disturbs us.

Well, perhaps I have been
a little over my head,

but I was planning to cover
my position in the expectation

of a market rise.

To cover your position,
Oliver, the Dow Jones

would have to gain 500
points by 2:00 today.

Well, that's not
entirely impossible, sir.

A good piece of news,
a fantastic rumor.

I'm sorry.

Now, in view of your
relationship with your wife's

father and the adverse
publicity to our company,

I am not involving the police.

Thank you, sir.

Is there anything else?

Two things.

You have a period of 30
days in which to return

to us a sum of $250,000.

And I accept your resignation
as of this morning.

I imagine then this is not
the proper time to discuss

the possibility of a raise.

Philips.

What a day, Philips.

Be a good man and
fix me a Martini.

No, sir.

Very dry-

No, sir?

Philips.

Philips.

Philips!

Frieda.

Frieda.

Frieda!

You called, mein herr?

Is there something
wrong with Philips?

Was he paid this month?

Mrs. Oliver has given the
staff strict orders to ignore

any requests you may make.

And if I insist?

[glass breaking]

Thank you.

You're dismissed.

Jordan!

Ah, Clarice, my pet.

I didn't hear you enter.

Though I did feel
a slight chill.

Have you thought about
what we discussed?

Yes, my dear, and I have
the entire evening arranged.

Cocktails at 5:00,
dinner at Chasen's,

the charity ball, and then
a moonlit ride to Catalina.

I meant the divorce.

Divorce.

Divorce?

You're joking.

I'm perfectly serious.

I can't stand living with
you another day, Jordan.

Maybe it's our sex life.

We'll-- we'll-- we'll
take night courses.

We'll study.

We'll work, we'll fix it.

Oh, face it, Jordan.

You've just never been
comfortable being a failure.

I've always felt
I paid your way.

Oh, Clarice.

My pet, my plum, my peach,
my pet, why be hasty?

I've been thinking
of it for six years.

Jordan, I'm going to cut
you off without a cent.

Has Judy Wudy been
a naughty waughty--

Oh, cut out that
insipid baby talk.

You're a grown man in a suit.

That may have been cute
when you were in your 20s,

but it's not anymore.

Don't push me, Clarice.

I must have my money.

Jordan, I don't want a scene.

I just want you to pack your
belongings and leave my home.

You mean our home.

I mean my home.

Does the phrase community
property mean anything to you?

Does the phrase alimony
mean anything to you?

Alimony?

You'll thank me
for this, Jordan.

I'm doing it for your own good.

You're forgetting
the stocks and bonds.

I'll sell out.

They're in my name,
in a revocable trust.

And now, Jordan, I'm revoking
it, and I'm revoking you,

and I'm revoking our marriage.

Sweetheart, sweetheart,
you're just in a revoking

mood this morning, that's all.

A good breakfast,
and it'll pass.

That's another
thing I've always

wanted to tell you, Jordan.

Sweetheart.

You do a rotten Bogart.

Picasso, van Gogh,
Warhol, Degas,

[inaudible], Degas, David,
Warhol, Gainsborough, Warhol.

Interesting.

Interesting?

Is that all you can say?

Interesting?

What should I say?

Oh, forgive me.

I forget that you're
just an art dealer.

It's a pity one must grow
callous from overexposure.

I am not callous, Mr. Oliver.

I am just trying
not be unrealistic.

But a true masterpiece must
be humbling even to the most

sophisticated dealer.

Did you purchase all of
these from the same source,

Mr. Oliver?

Yes, the von Schlegel Gallery.

Normally, I would sell
them back to von Schlegel,

but he doesn't seem to
have a gallery anymore.

Quite correct.

He left for Switzerland.

Ah.

I will give you
$25,000 for the lot.

$25 million, you mean.

Thousand.

Thousand?

$25,000.

$25,000 for these masterpieces?

Masterpieces, yes.

Masterpieces of forgery.

Forgery?

Forgery.

They are all worthless fakes.

The Warhols, of
course, are originals,

but I'll give you
nothing for them.

Forgeries of those
would be priceless.

Mr. Fletch, I dislike
humor at my expense.

I have no sense of
humor, Mr. Oliver.

The $25,000 I offer
you is for the frames.

They're all so beautifully
carved in gold leaf,

it's [inaudible].

But--

[inaudible].

--these are my many infants,
my little babies, my children.

Ah, children perhaps, yes,
but illegitimate children.

They must be original.

I paid von Schlegel
with original money.

And so you have
original von Schlegels.

You're lying to me.

I will give you $25,000,
take it or leave it.

-$27,000.
-No.

-$29,000.
-No.

-$30,000.
-No.

-$24,000.
-$25,000.

Now it's a deal.

All right.

You'll have my
check in two days.

I'll see you in three days.

All right.

Wait a minute.

This is my house.

Those are my forgeries.

That's my chandelier.

Those are my tables.
-Yes.

This is your head.

That's my head.

Yes.

Perhaps if I were
to call a doctor.

No, no doctor.

I'll walk you to the door.

I'll show you in-- out.

Yes.

Carry on.

Strange fellow.

[piano music]

Divorce.

Divorce is serious business.

It could put a severe
strain on your marriage.

As your lawyer, I would
have to suggest that you

think the matter through.

But that's all I
am thinking about.

He's gotten so selfish.

He's obsessed with those
paintings or with my money.

The worst part is,
I still love him.

Well, don't worry.

We'll see what we can do.

I'll immediately transfer
all securities and bonds

into a separate trust.

And, of course,
as your attorney,

we'll have the estate
under my executorship.

But he'll fight that.

I'm afraid to think
what he might do.

Now, now, now, don't fret.

Want one more piece of cheese?

No, thank you.

Clarice.

Clarice?

Oh, Clarice.

Has anyone seen Clarice?

Oh, thank you.

Clarice?

Clarice?

Now, we'll take
care of everything.

We'll control everything.

he hasn't got a chance.

Ah.

Ah, so when the chicken's
away the rat will play.

Hello, Jordan.

Oh, come on, Cl--
Damn chicken leg.

Ah, Clarice, my pet, I'm
so glad you're still here.

I live here, you idiot.

If you don't mind, I'd like
to speak to my wife alone.

[inaudible].

On the terrace, rat.

We have nothing to discuss.

We have nothing to
discuss, Jordan.

On the terrace.

I'm going.

How can you say we
have nothing to discuss

with so much going on?

How cruel, insensitive.

There is much to discuss.

We're both grownups.

We're human beings.

This is our life.

I want you to answer me
honestly, truthfully.

I can't feel that these
six years were all in vain.

Well?

Is it really true?

You don't like the
way I do Bogart?

Stinks

Stinks.

I've always loved the
way you did Bacall.

Are you going to let six
years go down the drain?

I'm not a child.

I'm capable of change.

I can change.

I can grow.

I could do Gable,
Ronald Colvin.

Oh, Jordan, six years ago,
you were you and I was me,

but now I'm me and you're you.

I-- I-- I'll be
you, you'll be me.

We'll be anything we want.

We're-- we're-- we're grownups.

Jordan, I want to laugh again.

That's why I married you,
because you made me laugh.

Then I will.

I'll make you laugh again.

Oh.

Good night, Jordan.

HAROLD: Good night, Clarice.

Good night, Harold.

Good night, Jordan.

My life, it's falling apart.

My paintings, they're all fake.

I feel-- I feel-- I feel empty.

Oh, those fakes you bought
from von Schlegel, yeah?

You know von Schlegel?

Intimately.

He's been a patient
of mine for years.

He tells me everything.

You mean all these years
I've been bilked thousands

and thousands and
thousands of dollars,

and you never told me anything?

Mr. Oliver, I am
a psychoanalyst.

I am not a district attorney.

I do not make moral judgments.

I treat neurosis.

And if I told you I was
going to kill my wife,

you wouldn't call the police?

I would not call
the police, correct.

I would let you kill her,
and then we would talk

about it in the next session.

And if I were to kill myself?

Ah, that would be a
different question.

You would not be able to talk
about it at the next session.

Besides, it's a much
healthier thing to kill one's

wife than to kill oneself.

It is?

Yeah.

But you're not the
homicidal type.

You could never kill anyone.

Why not?

Because you're a weakling.

You're a coward.

You have no guts, no backbone.

You're a mere worm of a man.

Are you aware of what
you're saying, doctor?

Of course I am.

Who should know
better than I do?

I have been your
analysts for six years.

But I-- but-- but--

You are a lout, a deadbeat.

You're not only a bore,
you're a foul bore.

Here.

Look at yourself.
Look!

No, no.

Take it away.

Look at yourself.

No, I'm good.
Take it away.

Take it away.

Look at that.

Our time is up.

No, no, but doctor,
you're supposed to help me.

I help you.

You are supposed
to help yourself.

You come here, you tell
me what to do, you pay me,

and you help yourself.

And unless you pay me, I
will not listen to you.

I'll pay you though.
I'll pay you.

I don't have the
money at the moment.

I mean, I don't have
access to the money,

but-- but I'll find money.

There must be a way--

If you go do not find the
money, I will not listen.

I will let you go crazy.

A table, senor?

Oh, I'm sorry.

Is this a Chinese restaurant?

Si, senor.

Why are you dressed
like a Mexican?

Because I am a Mexican, senor.

This way, please.

Your check, senor.

Ah, thank you.

$1.14.

Very reasonable.

Hmm.

Here we are, my good man.

Keep the change.

-Thank you, senor.
-Don't mention it.

One please.

Thank you.

Keep the change.

Oh, thank you.

JORDAN [ON MOVIE SCREEN]:
The charity ball and then

a moonlit ride to Catalina.

CLARICE [ON MOVIE SCREEN]:
I meant the divorce.

JORDAN [ON MOVIE
SCREEN]: Divorce?

Certainly surely you're jesting.

CLARICE [ON MOVIE SCREEN]:
I'm perfectly serious, Jordan.

I can't stand living
with you a day longer.

JORDAN [ON MOVIE SCREEN]:
Perhaps a better sex life.

We'll take night courses.

CLARICE [ON MOVIE
SCREEN]: Face it.

You've never really been
comfortable being a failure.

You always felt I paid your way.

Has Judy Wudy been
a naughty waughty--

Oh, cut out that
insipid baby talk.

I just want you to pack your
belongings and leave my home.

JORDAN [ON MOVIE SCREEN]:
You mean our home, don't you?

CLARICE [ON MOVIE
SCREEN]: I mean my home.

Does the phrase community
property mean anything to you?

CLARICE [ON MOVIE
SCREEN]: Does the phrase

alimony mean anything to you?

JORDAN [ON MOVIE
SCREEN]: Alimony?

CLARICE [ON MOVIE SCREEN]:
You've been living off

my money since the day we met.

I'm warning you, Clarice.

You're warning me?

Yes.
I'd love to--

You?

I'd love to just--

Ha ha ha ha.

I'd love to-- see?

That could easily have been
your neck, my precious.

CLARICE [ON MOVIE SCREEN]:
Jordan, how masculine.

Excuse me, do you know
how this movie turns out?

Well, yeah.

Yeah, he kills his wife,
collects her insurance

and is elected
governor of California.

Thank you.

Thank you.

[SINGING] Gotta dance.

JORDAN: So you see,
Mr. Slogan, I'd

like to take out a $1 million--
Mr. Slogan-- I'd like to take

out a $1 million policy in
my wife's name with myself

as sole beneficiary.

A $1 million policy?

Yeah

Would that be a 20 or
30-year policy, Mr. Oliver?

I was thinking more of one week.

One week.

Well, that's highly irregular.

JORDAN: OK.

Make it two weeks.

Well, that'll be fine.

Now, the premium on a $1 million
policy, for even two weeks,

is very, very high, possibly
several thousand dollars.

Oh.

Well, would it be possible to
pay the premium after the mur--

the two-week period?

Oh, I'm afraid not.

The policy can only take
effect upon the completion

of a physical examination
and your personal check

for the premium.

A physical examination?

[inaudible].

Mr. Slogan, my wife is very
sensitive to doctor's offices

and examination.

Could you make other
arrangements in this case?

Oh, certainly.

If you wish, I can have one
our doctors examine your wife

in the privacy of your home.

Oh, fine.

One more thing.

Yeah.

Could you have the doctor
examine her in such a way

that she wouldn't know that
she was being examined?

Could you?

Thank you.

Hello, my dear.

Where do you think you're going?

Out.

Oh, I'm afraid not.

I have a friend coming over.

I'd like you to meet him.

That's no concern
of mine, Jordan.

I'm afraid I'm making
it your concern.

Back, back--
-Jordan--

--up against the wall.

--have you lost your mind?

And what if I were to say yes?

Philips, out from
behind that door.

Put that thing away.

It might go off.

It might and it might not.

Oh, Jordan, let's not
get into flights of fancy.

I'm not being
fanciful, my dear.

Philips, stop leaning
up against my frame.

Now remember, this gun will be
somewhere near me at all times.

Philips, into the kitchen.

The kitchen.

And tell Frieda
to behave herself.

Tell her I have a gun this time.

My dear.

[doorbell]

Philips.

Philips.

Now behave yourself, Clarice.

Yes.

Heshy Yamamoto.

Mr. Heshy Yamamoto.

Heshy.

Oh, it's so good to-- Philips--
it's so good to see you again.

You're looking well.

Really keeping
yourself in good shape.

Mr. Slogan spoke to you?

I'm an old friend of yours.

Gordon.

-Jordan.
-Jordan.

Jordan Oliver.

Jordan Oliver.

Clarice.

I'd like you meet an old
friend of mine, Heshy.

Heshy, this is my wife, Clarice.

Aha.

Mrs. Oliver.

So nice to be invited to dinner.

Dinner?

What dinner?

PHILIPS: Dinner is served.

That dinner.

Shall we?

Shall we?

Don't forget.

Don't let her
suspect you're giving

her a physical examination.

Don't worry.

I have great experience.

Once I help deliver baby
to woman in back of car,

and she thought I was repairing
transmission of her Toyota.

Hmm, excellent
dinner, Mrs. Oliver.

CLARICE: Thank you.

Heshy?

Heshy, shall we
talk of old times?

Oh, so Mrs. Oliver, I was
just admiring your wrist.

Oh, thank you.

Aren't they lovely wrists?

So delicate.

Yes.

You see, we believe
in our culture

that the wrist is gateway
to a woman's soul.

How poetic.

We believe that if woman
possess beautiful wrist,

she possess beautiful soul.

I have never heard that.

Are you sure that's true?

Well, I could be mistaken.

Oh, perhaps.

Uh, Clarice, let's
play some cards.

Oh, please.

I don't want to play cards.

I want to eat my--
-Clarice.

Deal.

Yes, I'll rummy.
We'll play rummy.

We'll play seven card
rummy or five-card rummy?

Mrs. Oliver, what
a beautiful broach.

Oh, yes.

I bought that for her.

-It's was my mother's.
-What a beautiful gown.

Your mother [inaudible].

Thank you.

Oh, this does go with
this broach, I'm sure.

-Pick up?
-It's--

--[inaudible] it's
really soothing, Jordan.

--my lead, my lead.

That's not my kind of thing.

What a beautiful flowers.

The flo-- oh, the flowers.

The flowers.

Oh, the flo-- Clarice,
smell the flowers.

Oh, isn't it good to breathe?

Oh, we haven't breathed like
this since our honeymoon.

Clarice, breathe.

-I'm breathing.
-Pick up.

Excuse please.

I'm breathing.

Pick up.

Pick up one of my cards.

Oh, please
[inaudible], Clarice.

Let's reconsider.

Can't you reconsider?

Are you all right?

Oh, yes.

Just I lost my contact lens.

Oh, yes.

Heshy's been losing his
contact lenses since he

was a small little nipper.

Rummy.

Sir?

Rummy.

Jordan.

What?

Sir.

Oh, don't pay any
attention to him.

Can't you reconsider,
please, because you

know how much I love you.

Jordan, I can't spend
any more time here

with you and your weird friend.

Oh, Heshy.

-Yes, I--
-Good to see you.

--found my kazoo kazoo.

Kazoo kazoo.

Kazoo kazoo.

It's used in Japanese
tea drink ceremony.

Oh, yes, I've tried
that many times.

What you do is you put the
tea in through this tube,

and you press this
tube and you go--

-Oh, Jordan.
- --kazoo kazoo.

Kazoo kazoo.

Yes, it's a very old custom.

I've never heard of
such foolish business.

-Mrs. Oliver.
-Yes.

What is it, Mr. Yamamoto?

You see, I am a collector.

Strange hobby, you know?
-What is it?

What is it?

I was wondering, please,
would you give me a specimen?

Jordan, I've had enough.

I'm going now.

Oh, Clarice, be a good hostess.

I'm going now.

Oh, Clarice, it's his hobby.

Don't be selfish.

Something I said?

[music playing]

And I was so upset
and embarrassed,

I couldn't even drive.

I'm so sorry,
Clarice, and you have

no idea who this Yamamoto is?

He said he was
an old army buddy.

Harold, Jordan was
never in the army.

Jordan was probably lying.

I wonder why.

He lies all the time.

It's one lie after another.

I never even know when he's
telling the truth anymore.

I've heard of people like that.

He hasn't been the same
since the day we married.

He keeps acting, pretending
he's other people.

You mean the way he sometimes
thinks he's Humphrey Bogart?

Oh, that's not so bad.

The Bogart thing was a--
it was a game with us.

We were gay, we laughed.

He was Bogart,
and I'd be Bacall.

And then without warning,
he was Peter Lorre.

Harold, he made me be
Sidney Greenstreet.

I gained 35 pounds in one month.

Clarice, it's not worth it.

Go ahead and get the divorce.

Pretty soon he'll be
doing Bella Lugosi.

He'll sneak up on you
when while you're asleep

and bite you in the neck.

[music playing]

Waitress.

What'll it be?

I'll have a double
scotch on the rocks,

straight up and neat.

What's that?

I said I'll have a double
scotch on the rocks,

straight up and neat.

All right.

All right.

Some kind of party going
on over here, sweetheart?

Too noisy for ya?

What?

Yeah.

Hey.

Keep it quiet in here, will ya?

It's after midnight.

Better?

Yes, thank you.

Any of these tables open?

Well, let me see.

How many of there are you?

One of me.

Party of one.

Well, you better take that
table over there, huh?

Thanks, sweetheart.

Believe me, my dear.

He's never going to change.

Oh, if only he's
just stop doing Bogart

and start being Bogart.

The poor man.

He's going to be lost
without my money.

What you need is a rest, a
vacation to clear your mind.

Well, I could use
one, I know that.

Which is why I've
arranged one for you.

-You have?
-Mm-hmm.

I've taken the liberty of
making a reservation for you

at the Sands Hotel in Las Vegas.

Las Vegas?

It'll be very therapeutic.

You can gamble, go swimming,
play golf, go shopping.

Eat, sleep.

If that's what you want to do.

See?

You feel better already just
thinking about a vacation.

It's a-- it's nice idea.

Thank you, Harold.

You are a good friend.

And a pretty good attorney.

Now, don't worry about a thing.

I'll take care of everything.

[crash]

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Excuse me.

I didn't mean to wake you.

Who are you?

Who, me?

Yes, you.

Bobo.

Bobo?

Bobo.

Bobo.

Captain Bobo.

Oh, Captain Bobo.

What kind of captain?

No kind.

I just call myself a captain.

It doesn't hurt anybody.

It impresses people.

Are you impressed?

Oh, yes.

Yes, I am, very much.

Oh, thank you.

You're my first one.

-You mind if I sit down?
-Please.

Thank you.

You know who I am, don't you?

No.

Yes, you do.

-No, I don't.
-Do you know my name?

No, I don't.

Do you know my wife's name?

No, I don't know
your wife's name.

Oh, admit it.

No, I don't.

You know I have a
policy on my wife's life.

I'm planning to kill her
and collect the insurance,

don't you?
BOBO: No, I don't know that.

What did I just say?

You just said got a
policy on your wife's life,

and you plan to kill
her for the insurance.

JORDAN: Then you do know.

Well, you just said that.

JORDAN: You're lying.

You heard it before I said it.

No, I didn't.

Sit down.

Where do you think you're going?

You're in this up to your neck.

Listen, I'm just a captain
looking for a ship, you know,

a little port, a nice home
to go home to, that's all.

Just as I thought.

You're one of those guys
likes to dish it out

but you can't take it.

I'm just a sweet, innocent
guy that never gets in trouble.

Hello, Bobo.

Oh, hi fellas.

Vito.

Vito.

Listen, I didn't
expect you today.

I-- I-- I explained the
whole thing to Carmine,

and he was going
to Nunsio, and then

he was going to call
big Vito and explain

that-- see, tomorrow I got
a big thing going in a race.

I got a horse to finish.

You lose.

Huh?

Carmine is resting comfortably
in an abandoned gold mine.

Nunsio don't work
for Vito no more.

He works for little Louie.

Oh, he's a prince of a man.

You'd really like him.

Oh, excuse me.

This is Vito and-- and Vito.

This is my friend.

We don't want to meet
no friends of yours.

We come for the money.

Money?

Uh.

Just to show you we mean
business, we're going to let

you pay tomorrow, all 5 G's.

5 G's?

I only borrowed 2 G's.

Vito knows that.

Yeah, Vito knows that.

Vito also knows
that 5 G's is more

than 2 G's, and
he knows he comes

off better if you pay him more.

And he knows more is good.

That's a lot of interest.

Just to show you
we're on the square,

we're going to give you
a receipt in advance.

Vito.

Oh.

I'll be right there, Bobo.

No.

I can't stand these
ruffian techniques.

They think they come
in off the streets

and just run it that way?

Well, I-- I--

[crash]

[fighting]

Vito always does a clean job.

Thank you, Vito.

Now, just to show
you this ain't none

of it personal, waiter, check.

No, no, no.

I'll take care of the check.

Does this happen often?

Money.

I need some money, otherwise
they keep doing this.

Don't worry, Bobo.

I'm your friend.

I will give you the money.

Thousands.

Thousands?

Dollars?

Yes.

How many thousands?

A lot of thousands,
more thousands than you

ever dreamed of.

Well, what I gotta do?

Kill somebody?

Sssh.

You were serious.

I mean, that's like murder.

Right, murder.

You could call it murder if
you want to be technical.

There's a tremendous punishment
given out for things like that

if you get caught.

Well, you're not
going to get caught.

I'm not going to tell anyone.

Are you going to tell anyone?

No, but-- but murder.

I mean, taking somebody's
life without their written

permission?

I can't do that.

Bobo.

Bobo, wise up.

You have no choice.

If you don't kill my
wife, they kill you.

How many thousands?

$25,000.

$25,000?

Yes.

Here's one of them.

Are they all as pretty as that?

Every one.

Some of them are even prettier.

You got a deal.

Good morning, Clarice.

Good bye, Jordan.

Where are you going?

I'm going to Las Vegas.

Must you?

It's no concern
of yours, Jordan.

More than you know, my pet.

More than you know.

Yes, Bobo, that's correct.

Las Vegas.

I'm pretty sure it's
the one in Nevada.

Fine.

Yes, my dear.

Just think.

This time tomorrow
you'll be-- well,

and I'll be $1 million richer.

Ah.

Less Federal inheritance tax.

[phone ringing]

Jordan Oliver here.

Uh, Mr. Oliver, this is Mr.
Slogan of No Fault Insurance.

Yes, Mr. Slogan.

Ah?

Ah?

Aaahhh?

And that, Mr. Oliver, is
the story in a nutshell.

If you want, you can
keep the nutshell.

I don't want the nutshell.

What are these nuts?

I don't want any of these nuts.

What's the matter with you?

Why should I be penalized?

You're not being penalized.

[inaudible]

You're not being
penalized, Mr. Oliver.

All that remains
is for your wife

to take another
physical examination,

and the policy will
be renewed, I'm sure.

But you know how my wife
feels about physicals.

Yes.

She doesn't like-- how
did you find out, anyway?

That Yamamoto
wasn't a real doctor?

Yes.

Well, he was walking
by this morning

when one of our secretaries
asked to borrow his thermometer

to take her temperature.

So?

He didn't know what
a thermometer was.

How could that be?

How could a human being not
know what a thermometer is?

Well, these things do happen.

Happen?

They don't happen.

Don't you understand?

Don't you understand
that it's not fair?

Life is not fair.

I had it planned out.

Don't you understand?

It was perfect.

It was going to be perfect.

Bobo.

Bobo.

-What?
-Clarice.

What?

Where is everybody?

Anybody here?

Anybody home?

I am.

Could I help you?

Bobo.

Mr. Oliver.

Bobo, it's all off.

Do you understand?

It's off.

Did you kill her?
It's off.

You're choking me.

What have you
done with the body?

You've killed her, haven't you?

No, no, no, no.

Tell me she's alive.

Is she alive?

What is it?

Speak louder.

Would you talk louder?

Can't you see I'm
strangling you?

Did you kill Clarice?

Did you kill her?

No.

No.

Oh, thank god.

Don't worry about it, because
I had somebody else to do it.

What?

I paid him $20,000.

I gave you $25,000.

I only needed $5,000.

Who did you give the money to?

I can't you.

It's a big secret.
Yeah.

You see, he's in show business.

He's a musician, and if
publicity got out about this,

it could possibly
hurt is career.

Who was it, Bobo?

Who was it?

Don't you understand I'm
calling the whole thing off?

The insurance.

She's not covered.

If I tell you who it is,
will you stop choking me?

Yes.

Yes.

OK.

The man's name was uh--

Yes.
Yeah.

What the heck was his name?

Oh, come on, Bobo.
The name.

Just think of it.
Think of it.

Think now.

What was the name?

Huh?

Bobo.

Bobo?

Bobo.

No, Bobo.

You've got to help me.

No, know how to
use a ploy on me.

Come on, Bobo, the name.

What wa-- Bobo.

Bobo.

Snap out of it.

Bobo.

Come with me, Bobo.

Taxi!

Taxi!

[scream]

What are we doing here?

I thought maybe that he
would notice us up here.

Is that him?

Just play.

Ah, bravo, Mr. Patlow, bravo.

It all looks
absolutely marvelous.

We just have one small problem.

What is that?

We're long.

Can you cut 15 minutes?

Are you serious?

Do you think that
it's easy to conduct

Swan Lake with the entire action
from the lake point of view?

May I make a suggestion?

Of course you may, but
I'm not going to listen.

Can you cut out the
part with the swan?

I didn't hear that.

Gentlemen, please.

I want your attention.

You have no talent,
and I have go.

I have an important
engagement in Canada.

Goodbye.

Mr. Patlow.

Goodbye big boy.

Mr. Patlow.

Please.

Mr. Patlow.

-Patlow.
-Patlow.

That's the man I was
telling you about.

That's Mr. Oliver.
-How do you do?

I'm Jordan Oliver.

This is not a place
to be speaking.

Not in front of the boys.

Please.

You are following me.

Boys?

There's no-- madness.

Clarice is alive.

She's alive.

Maybe.

Maybe not.
I don't know.

What do you mean?

Tell him to go and
ask the man that I

paid $16,000 to bump her off?

Man?

$16,000?

I paid you $20,000.

I only needed $4,000.

-What man?
-What do you mean?

Who's the man?

PATLOW: You see these lips?

Yeah.

They're my lips.

They're very important to me.

Oh, forget the lips.

They needed $4,000 immediately.

For what?

Lip gloss.

Lip gloss?

$9,000 worth of lip
gloss for $4,000.

It was a garage sale.

That's a good deal,
don't you think so?

Patlow, listen to me.

You help me find that man.

I'll keep you in
lip gloss for life.

Oliver.

Life is more than lip gloss.

He is sick, you friend.

He's disturbed.

Yes, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to--

-Don't touch me, please.
-All right.

I didn't mean to.

Admit it, mister.

Have you got ancestors?

Yes, I do, on my mother's side.

Were they music lovers?

Oh, music.

They loved music.

Music was our whole
life, for breakfast,

for lunch, for dinner, snacks.

It was all music.

My family like music too.

Bobo's family.

We all like music. [SINGING]
La la la la la la la la.

Wait.
OK.

You know what, then?

Wait a minute.

I tell you something.

Because of what you said,
I am going to help you.

Yes.

Lovely.

Costumes.

What are we doing here?

You want to get into
[inaudible], don't you?

Yes, well, of course.

Then I'm going to take you.

All right.

Please, that way.

Oh, yes.

Bobo.

Mrs. Martin, this
trap must be secure.

I'm sorry.

Don't be afraid.

Everything will be just fine.

The hammer is sterile, master.

No, not the hammer, doctor.

That will be all right, Dagon.

We won't be needing that,
will we, Mrs. Martin?

No, no, not the hammer.

Shall I make
preparations, master?

Of course, Dagon.

You may bring in the body.

Yes, master.

We are going to find them.

Yes, we have to,
because other-- whoa.

Please I will help you,
but don't touch my fruit.

Bobo.

All right.

Just act casual.

Casual, yes.

[interposing voices]

It's going to be all right.

Easy.

Easy, Bobo.

Watch it.

Casual.

Completely nonchalant.

Casual.

Come with me.

Did I do well, master?

Oh, excellent Dagon, excellent.

There will be an extra spider
in your pay envelope this week.

Thank you, master.

Who's she?

Mrs. Martin, I promised
you you would lose weight.

Meet and greet your new body.

But it's on her.

Oh, never fear my
dear Mrs. Martin.

We only want to give
your brain a new home.

Is that what you meant?

My brain in her body?

You will be exquisite and
with a wonderful figure,

don't you agree?

You can't do that.

That's insane.

Insane perhaps,
but it's a living.

I refuse.

[inaudible].

I want to get it
out immediately.

You're mad.

That's what they said at
university when I experimented.

The verdict was
brilliant but mad.

Oh, no!

Let me out!

Oh, you freak!

Wait!

You realize, of course, you
will forfeit your deposit.

[scream]

Do I still get
my spider, master?

Spider.

You know what you get.

Yes, master.

[inaudible].

You're too kind to me.

Take her back to my room.

[whistle]

Now, with this exercise,
everybody down on their knees.

Come on.

Now, what are you doing?

I told you before, you are
going to ruin everything.

Bobo, what's the matter?

You must be casual.

Casual, of course.

Stay casual indeed.

We must.

Don't you-- we have
to find Clarice.

You will never get your doctor.

[interposing voices]

Bobo, please.

Are you ready?

Very pleasant, very
nice and pleasant.

Nonchalant.

Remember?

Inside.

I found them wandering the
grounds in a suspicious manner.

They were looking casual.

[inaudible], leave us.

Not you three.

Here.

Patlow, Bobo.

Uh-oh.

Oh, hey.

Dr. Benet.

So we are meeting once again.

Have we met before?

You don't remember me?

I am the famous Lawrence Butler.

That is my nom de plume.

I made arrangements with
Florence Nightingale

here regarding this man's wife.

Clarice Oliver?

Remember, master?

The girl in Las Vegas.

Clarice Oliver.

I have so many clients.

No, no.

She was not exactly a client.

You are supposed to kill her.

That's why I gave
you the $16,000.

Gentlemen, this
meeting is concluded.

Clarice Oliver is dead.

Oh, no.

Oh.

Oh, goodness gracious.

Master, he fall down, go boom.

Squeamishness is not
an attractive trait

on a middle-aged
balding man, Mr. Oliver.

But, doctor, doctor, tell
me you didn't kill her.

Mr. Oliver, please.

I can't remember.

I have so many arrangements,
I can't remember.

My master speaks the truth.

He practices brain surgery,
and it can affect the memory.

How can brain surgery
affect the memory?

I practice on my own brain.

Oh, doctor, please tell me.

Did you kill her?

I remember.

Yes?

I decided to
split the fee, so I

gave it to another specialist.

-Yes, yes.
-What was his name?

-A specialist.
-Did you get a receipt?

A piece of paper.

I remember.

I hired him from
Workers Anonymous.

They're very good, you know.

They work very
cheap-- a few bucks.

They do everything for you.

Take Social Security,
withholding, taxes, everything.

That's good to know,
but what is his name?

-A name.
-A name.

The name.

I know.

It rhymes with rooster.

-Looster.
-Brewster.

-Hooster
-Looster.

-Brewster.
-Youster.

Brewster.

Kirsten.

Kirsten.

Kirsten.

Sounds familiar.

I don't think you'd know him.

He's top secret.

He's with the CIA.

I do hope we're in time.

The man seemed most
anxious to take a life.

[music playing]

How does it look?

Well, it's hard to say.

It doesn't have an engine.

No engine?

What do you mean, no engine?

But that's impossible.

It's a brand new limousine.

We've traveled over 100 miles.

Well, take a look for yourself.

But, but-- Bobo, look.

It's remarkable
we got this far.

Where are you going?

We're looking for somebody.

Who?

You wouldn't know.

This is top secret.

James Kirsten.

Oh, the CIA guy.

Uh, why don't you
get a bite to eat.

No, no.

We can't eat now.

We have to find that engine.

Jordan, perhaps the
young man is correct.

Why don't we get
something to eat?

Shall I prepare
something, master?

No, Dagon.

Arrangements have already been
they're not going to eat now.

Don't you understand?
-Jordan.

We have to get on the road.
-Jordan.

We have to keep moving.

You will eat.

I do feel a little hungry.

[inaudible], gentlemen.

You care to order a cocktail?

No, no.

This is no time for cocktails.

Uh, actually this is a
beautiful time for cocktails.

I think I will have
a Brandy Alexander.

I will have a Shirley
Temple with a straw.

Sounds good.

Make mine a Shirley
Temple with straw.

I think I'll have a Gin Fizz.

Oh, that sounds better.

Make mine a Gin Fizz.

I'll have a nice cold beer.

A cold beer.

That sounds best.

Give me a cold beer.

Pardon.

Are you on Sesame Street?

No.

Santa Monica Boulevard.
-Oh.

Oh, stop it.
What's that matter with you?

We have no time
for drinks today.

Don't you understand that
time is of the essence?

Is the flounder in season?

The flounder is
always in season.

However, I would suggest--

The mackerel.

No, I would not
suggest the mackerel.

It must be the mackerel.

Give him the mackerel.

[whisper]

The perch.

The perch.

The perch?

The perch.

I'll take the perch.

[music playing]

[scream]

[splash]

That's 15 halibut, 38 flounder,
one smelt, and one perch.

Yes, that's right.

One perch.

I'd like delivery by
the first of the month.

If I can't have that,
I'll take delivery

by the last of the month.

Come in, gentleman.

Come in.

I'll be with you
in just a moment.

Thank you very much.

Good bye.

Good afternoon.

May I help you?

Yes.

Is Mr. Jack Kirsten here?

Hmm?

Whom shall I say is calling?

Tell him Dr. Binay and some
friends are here to see him.

Mr. Kirsten, there's a
Dr. Binay and some friends.

Dr. Binay, I'm sorry.

I didn't recognize you.
-No, no.

I'm not doc-- this is Dr. Binay.

Ah.

Jack Kirsten.

I didn't recognize you,
my dear Mr. Kirsten.

KEER-sten.

KEER-sten.

Are you the waiter?

Sssh.

What are you doing?

Look at those lips.

They are the second
most beautiful

pair I have ever seen.

They should be in the
Guinness Book of Lips.

They are magnificent.

You know something?

With those lips, I could
teach to play the trumpet.

You couldn't.

Of course I could.

Just press down on
the middle valve.

And--

[trumpet music]

Will you cut that out.

Can't you see I'm trying
to get some information?

We're all trying
to get information

of one kind or another.

Now, tell me, hot lips.

You're really not
with the CIA, huh?

Of course, I'm not.

I'm a bricklayer.

Bricklaying is my life.

But I use the CIA as my cover.

You know what it is
to want to lay bricks

and there are no bricks to lay?

Where is my wife?

I'm nonunion.

Bricklaying is by life.

Where's my wife?

-What have you done with her?
-Sure.

I have plenty of--
[interposing voices]

I don't have any
more [inaudible].

I want to know where my wife
is, what you have done to her.

Bricks to be laid
upon each other.

[buzzer]

Down!

[music playing]

--[inaudible], who
are these people?

It's all right.
Friends.

Ameche.
Ameche.

-Ameche.
-Ameche.

Friends.
Friends.

It's all right.
It's all right.

[inaudible].

A building that we
finished fell on him.

He thinks he's still
working for Mussolini.

Any news from el duche?

The news, the news.

Still a lot of futility.

A spine for a war that has
been over for 30 years,

and it gets very lonesome.

Do they know that
Mussolini knows that I know

about the Allied invasion plan?

Do you know that he
knows that Mussolini knows

about the Allied invasion plan?

No, I didn't.

[interposing voices]

Does he know anything
about Clarice?

He should.

I passed the murder
contract onto him.

What? [inaudible].

I feel it's very important
what I have to say.

This is very important.

I'm trying to find-- my
name is Jordan Oliver.

My wife's name is
Clarice Oliver.

Does that mean anything to you?

What regiment was she with?

What he talking
about, regiment?

Oh, yes, Colonel.

Colonel, yes.

We're on your side.

We're friends.
-Ameche.

Ameche.

There's no chance of
being court-marshalled.

Do you understand?

What have you done with Clarice?

[non-english speech]

He's very sorry.

He did not murder your wife.

Hey, hey.

Gracias.

Thank you.

Thank you.

She's alive.

Oh, [inaudible]
catacomb [inaudible].

He paid somebody else to do it.

What?

[non-english speech]

Ah, he got him very
cheap, too, $6.95.

Who would kill a
human being for $6.95?

[non-english speech]

An actor.

An actor.

An actor is going to
kill my wife for $6.95!

Find him!

Where?
Where?

Where, where.

How do you say where in Italian?

[italian].

The ax is prepared.

We have to find the ax.

I have to find them.

[interposing voices] Hupta.

Hupta.
Hupta.

Hupta.
Hupta.

Hupta.
Hupta.

Hupta.
Hupta.

Hupta.
Hupta.

Hupta.
Hupta.

Hupta.

What did he say?

Something about it's hopeless.

[trumpet music]

[singing]

[explosion]

[trumpet music]

[singing]

Anybody who would pick up
seven guys looking like us

would have to be crazy.

[tires squealing]

Read any good books lately?

Get much rain this
part of the country?

Want to see a card trick?
Cards?

Pick a card.
I'll show you the cards.

We're holding some cards.

You want to see?

Tell me, do you
think the Dodgers

will win the pennant next year?

Rufus?

You hear me, Rufus?

This is a [inaudible] here.

Here comes ma
without her bucket.

I don't mean to upset
you, sir, but I really

think you need treatment.

What do I care?

Just take a couple of seconds.

I can drive this
truck over that cliff.

[interposing voices]

Nobody panic.

What am I doing here?

What is the meaning of life?

[interposing voices]

Patlow.

Don't crack on me, Patlow.

Have a drink, fellas.

Oh.

-What's this?
-What is it?

Moonshine.

Made it myself.

Bobo.

I'm a teetotaler.

Excuse me, you have
a little [inaudible]?

I say drink.

Well, you see,
well, we're priests.

We're on our way
to a costume party.

We can't drink.

Gentlemen, gentlemen.

I think we should
humor this man.

He has all the earmarks
of a psychopath.

If no one drinks,
I go over the cliff.

OK.

Easy.

Don't worry.

Oh.

This stuff is poison.

I vote for the cliff.

[siren]

Place you bets, please.

Place your bets.

Winner, 17 black.

Winner, 10 red.

25 yellow.

[inaudible].
I win!

I win!

Hospital.

What seems to be
the trouble, nurse?

This man is acting
very strangely, doctor.

Dr. DeHart.

I know this man.

I can vouch for him.

Oh, doctor.

It's so nice to see
a friendly face.

Are you all right?

What are doing here?

Why are you dressed like this?

We can't all be fashion plates.

Look, doctor, I
feel so terrible.

I'm a beaten man.

It's Clarice.

I tried to have her killed
when I left your office.

I feel so guilty about it.

Mr. Oliver.

I love her.

Mr. Oliver.

I hate myself.

Mr. Oliver, I am
not your doctor.

I am Dr. DeHart, Jr. You are
confusing me with my father,

Dr. DeHart, Sr. Poor man.

He went crazy and lost
the use of himself.

That's no concern of mine.

I have my own problems.

This is not a private session.

I'm on duty here.

I have a whole ward full
of sickies to take care of.

But I have to talk to you.
I have to talk.

Let go.
We

-Have to talk!
-No.

Don't you understand?

[inaudible].

Guido.

Guido will know
where the actor is.

Guido.

Ah, yes, my dear captain.

We seem to have here a brave
little soldier, don't we?

Huh?

[non-english speech]

And this is my Batman,
Captain Booboo.

Bobo.

Booboo.

The Cross of Venice?

Of course, that's
the Cross of Venice.

No, no, no, no.

He deserved the Cross of Venice.

Put it there, please.

He deserves?

Yes.

Ugh.

There.

My dear comrade.
What can I say?

I'm sorry about the
[inaudible] Campaign

and Rommel, the Desert Fox.

If he only had listened
to me, North Africa

would have been hours.

Guido, Guido.

I'm looking for the--
I have to find--

[non-english speech]

Bobo, what's he talking about?

Did he say anything
about the actor?

What did he say?

--He said bo bo bo bo
bo, something like that.

Kirsten.

Why can't I have the medal?

Kirsten.

Hello.

There's one
[inaudible] coq au vin,

cherries jubilee, one yoohoo.

-Yoohoo.
-Yoohoo.

-Hoohoo.
-Yoohoo.

Yoohoo.
-Hooyoo.

Now, hoohoo.

Oh, yoohoo.

Kirsten, you've got to help me.

I would recommend the flounder,
but it is out of season,

you know.

You have to help me.

I'm sorry.

Do you have a reservation?

Reservation.

It's me, Oliver, Jordan Oliver.

Oliver.
Oliver.

Oliver.

I do not have you on my list.

It's me, look.

Oliver!

Oliver!

[interposing voices]

-Yes.
-Now, you've got to help me.

-Oui, oui, oui.
-Do you understand that?

I've got to find the actor.

Clarice is in tremendous danger.

I just left Guido.

He's will Bobo.

I don't know what they're doing.

They're putting
medals on people.

He said something
about bo bo bo bo.

Uh-huh.

Do you have a reservation?

Is this madness?

If you do not have a
reservation, I cannot help you.

I'm sorry.
-Mad around here.

It is only my job I
am doing, you know.

Have you tried the perch?

Somebody help me!

Is there an actor in the house?

To be or not to be.

That is the-- line.

Line.

Give me the line.

I'll give you 10 more minutes.

I had it memorized.

I swear it.

I can also do Moliere.

I speak French.

I do mime.

I can dance.

I can move.

I can make you laugh.

I can make you cry.

All I want is a chance.

Oh, please.

Let me read.

I know what you're thinking.

I'm wrong for the part,
but I have a wide range.

I'm a master of makeup.

All I want is a chance.

Oh, I'm willing
to work for scale.

I won't even tell my agent.

Are you the actor?

You know me then?

You've seen me work?

Were you in Detroit last year?

I did "Street Car."

They compared me with Brando.

It was summer stock, but--

Did you kill my wife?

Did you kill Clarice?

My-- my specialty
is death scenes.

I played Camille.

Oh, you swine!

You prick!

You ass!

You don't understand.

I didn't kill her.

I didn't kill anyone.

I only kill audiences.

I killed in Detroit.

You didn't kill my wife?

Clarice is still alive?

Yes.

Yes.

Oh, please.

Let go of my throat.

It's my instrument.

You didn't give the
money to anybody else?

You kept the $6.95
all to yourself?

You didn't give it to anybody?

Tell me the truth.

Oh, that is the truth.

I didn't go through with
it, because I couldn't

figure out my motivation.

I needed something
bigger, a hook, an affair.

I didn't even know the woman.

I didn't do it.

Oh.

It gives me wonder
great as my content

to see you here before me.

My soul's joy.

If after every tempest
comes such calm.

May the winds blow 'til
they have wakened death,

and the laboring bark
climbs hills of sea.

Olympus high and duck again,
as low as hell from heaven.

Othello.

Act 2, scene 1.

I can do it.

Yes, you can do it.

I can do it.

Yes, I can.

Man, Clarice is alive!

Guido, round up the troops.

Kirsten, pay the checks.

Dagon, get the bedpans.

We're going overboard.

Raise the sheets.

Get the pillows.

Man the [inaudible].
Raise the sails.

Extra!

Read all about it.

Wealthy socialite,
Clarice Oliver,

found dead on
streets of Las Vegas.

Extra!

Do you have the
Wall Street closing?

-Yes.
-Oh, good.

Very good.

Now, put it on my bill.

Keep the change.

Thanks you.

Wealthy socialite
slain in Vegas.

Extra!

Read all about it!

She's dead!

You said she was alive.

But she's dead.

You lied to me.

You all lied to me, didn't you?

[interposing voices]

You're splitting the money.

You're splitting
the money among you.

It's a coincidence.

It's a coincidence, my foot.

You-- Oh, Clarice,
my darling, my pet.

I have to claim the body.

Not if I get there first.

It's my wife.

I tell you that's
not who you say it is.

That's my wife.

Are you Mr. Oliver?

No.

I'm Ramos.

Mr. Alonzo Ramos, and
that woman is Bonnie

Ramos, not Clarice Oliver.

Then how do you explain those
things that we found on her?

The license, the purse,
and the feathers?

Simple.

Besides being a hired
killer, she was also a fake.

She stole them.

Would you hold that
pose, please, sir?

Who are you?

Sssh.

I'm escaping.

My nest's up in that tree.

The street's the
other way, you fool.

I know, I know, I know.

I'm trying to fool the guards.

They never let me sit on
my eggs anymore, never.

[grunting]

[screams]

Ah, ooh, oh.

Oh.

It's because of people
like that our Blue Cross

rates are going up.

It's a good thing the ground
was here to break our fall.

Is everyone all right?

Clarice?

Are we all right?

Clarice!

I'm coming, Clarice!

Dear acquaintances,
family, and friend.

We are gathered here on
this day as a reminder

to the terrible tragedy
that befell Bonnie

Ramos, affectionately
known to those

who knew her as Dirty Bonnie.

It can be said of Bonnie
Ramos she was the best hit

woman in the business,
but she never killed

anyone who didn't need killing.

What more can be said
about Bonnie Ramos?

I can't think of a thing.

JORDAN: Clarice!

Clarice!

Oh, forgive me.

Who is this man?

I don't know.

Oh, Clarice.

Clarice.

Clarice, it's me, Jordan.

I'm sorry I'm late.

There was a lot of traffic.

Oh, my darling.

I love you so much.

It's not fair that
you should go.

Why do we always
learn things too late?

It's not fair.

Life is not fair.

Shouldn't we try to stop him?

Sssh.

Maybe some strange and unusual
religious cult of some kind.

Clarice.

[SINGING] 5 foot
2, eyes of blue,

but what those 5 feet could do.

Has anybody seen my gal?

Hey, get out of
my wife's grave.

She was 6 foot 3.

Bury me.

Bury me.

This is the woman I love.

That's the woman I love.

Were you having an
affair with my wife?

That's my Bonnie.

This is Clarice, my pet.

Are you Jordan Oliver?

Yes, I am.

Well, there's been a mistake.

My wife had your
wife's identification.

The hit and run who killed my
wife thought it was your wife.

Oh, then that
means that your wife

is-- oh, I'm terribly sorry.

Sorry!

She was a thief and a murderer.

Do you know how many
people she killed?

[interposing voices]

Stop it.

He's been way out of line.

Give him some Hail Marys.

-Bobo, did you hear that?
-Yes.

Clarice is alive again.

I know.

That means there's
a killer loose.

Now, if it's not one
of us, who could it be?

I got an idea.

If it's not one of us,
it must be somebody else.

Hit it!

[trumpet call]

Which way is Las Vegas?

-That way.
-That way.

Oh, never mind.

I'll find it myself.

[interposing voices]

Men!

This is not farewell,
but we are friends,

and we shall meet again.

Goodbye, my dear Jordan.

What a beautiful time
for the cocktails.

[interposing voices]

[non-english speech]

[glass breaking]

Farewell, Jordan.

[non-english singing]

[screams]

Booker, you.

Yes, me.

Why not me?

But why?

Why?

Why?

Always why.

Why not?

Perhaps because I've become sole
executor of Clarice's estate.

Do you what that means
in terms of money?

10% and all I can steal.

Is that a good
enough why for ya?

Easy, Booker.

Easy.

You're probably under
a lot of stress.

Why don't you sit down?

We'll talk.
-Talk.

You realize I have
to kill you both now?

Not if I can stop you.

[glass shattering]

Ooh.

[inaudible]

Look what you made me
do with your questions.

I attacked myself in the mirror.

You're such a fool.

What an incompetent you are.

Ow.

I feel sick.

Oh.

-Jordan.
-Oh, Clarice, my--

Harold.
What's going on?

--darling.

Oh, it's quite all
right, my dear.

He tried to kill you.

Harold, my favorite attorney?

Why?

Why.

If I hear one more why,
I'm gong to scream.

It has to do with your estate.

Is that why you had me
sign all those papers?

So that you could kill
me and control my money?

I need a doctor.

Is there a doctor in the house?

Excuse me, my dear.

One moment, my precious.

Oops.

Oops.

Hello, Front Desk?

Send up some punishment.

Someone call for punishment?

Nurse Dagon, how
nice to see you.

Hi Jordan.

Take care of this man's wounds.

Wonderful.

Another body for science.

That's a nasty cut.

You oughta have
that taken care of.

Wait!

Jordan!

What lovely shoes.

Jordan, I've got a great
tax shelter in Florida.

Did you get them at Chandler's?

Free income tax service.

Jordan!

Jordan, we have
a crazy marriage.

I know that,
sweetheart, but that's

what makes it so worthwhile.

There's never a dull moment.

I love you, you zany you.

Oh, you know something?

I love you too, you crazy
mixed up wonderful kid.

In the future, if you ever
need me, just whistle.

You know how to
whistle, don't you?

That's right, kid.

That's how to whistle.

[music playing]