Hugs and Mugs (1950) - full transcript
The stooges run a furniture store and come into possession of a stolen pearl necklace. Three crooked dames convince the boys that the necklace is theirs, and when the real thieves arrive, the stooges fight to defend the girl's property. The stooges defeat the bad guys and the girls decide to go honest and return the necklace to its rightful owner.
[♪]
Here it is.
All is clear.
Say, kids, checking
that pearl necklace
in this express office
over a year ago,
sure fooled the cops.
Yes, but we still spent
one year in the jail
for shoplifting
those fur coats.
But they couldn't pin
the pearl job on us.
We fooled them,
I tell you.
Okay, okay. But I don't think we
fooled Red and the mob.
They'll be watching for us.
Yes, but let's not talk
so much and get going.
Okay.
ALL:
Hup, hup, hup.
Hey, hey, we're
out of the clink, remember?
[ALL LAUGH]
We'd like to get a parcel.
Here's the check.
Your check
is over a year old.
Your parcel was sold
at auction yesterday
for storage charges.
It was bought
by some gentlemen
who own the Shangri-la
Upholstering Company
on Hope Street.
You can't do that.
I got news for you, sister,
I did it!
And there's nothing
you can do about it. Scram.
Oh, mister.
What?
Ugh!
[GRUNTS]
Why...
Wise guy, huh?
Come on, girls, we're headed
for Shangri-la.
[HUMMING]
[SCREAMS]
Why...
I'm sorry, Moe,
the bit bit you.
Yeah?
Oh.
Ow.
Oh!
Moe, Larry pushed me.
You're lying.
I got a good mind
to let you have that.
Ow.
All right--
Wait a minute, that's the box
we bought at the auction.
Oh, yeah.
[CHUCKLES]
You morons. Ten bucks
for a string of beads.
How did we know? It might have
been something valuable.
But it wasn't.
All right, so we--
MOE:
Get busy. Now, look,
we got work to do.
You stuff a chair.
I'll stuff an ottoman.
I'll stuff a duck.
[SNICKERS]
Oh!
Hey, leave him alone.
You'll cut his--
Quiet.
You keep out of this,
will you?
Both of you now.
All right.
You've been fooling around
long enough.
This is a place of business.
You hear?
What is it? A place of business.
Yeah.
Quiet, when I--
All right, I'll do it.
You keep out of this.
All right.
What did you say it was?
Don't you tell me what--
Come here, you...
All right, take it out.
Where's the chair?
Well, here we are.
Girls,
turn on the charms
and give them the business.
Ooh, la, la.
Oh, parles vous.
Ah, oui, oui.
And while they're
swooning with romance,
we'll get the pearls.
Ah.
MOE:
You fellas have to learn
to behave yourself.
I want all this nonsense
stopped.
You understand? We--
Shh, customers.
[CLEARS THROAT]
Well, ladies, what
can we do for you?
Which one of you handsome men
is the proprietor?
ALL:
I am.
Ooh!
Oh.
Oh.
I'm the head man, lady.
What'll it be?
We came in to select
some material to redo a chair
but when my eyes rested
on you, dreamboat,
I almost forgot
my mission.
Oh, yeah?
[SHUDDERS]
What gorgeous hair
you have, Goldilocks.
How do you keep it so nice?
Oh, it's easy.
I use a home perm in it.
[CHUCKLES]
Oh, you're cute.
And such a beautiful head
of skin in front too.
Thank you.
You know what?
I polish it with floor wax.
[CHUCKLES]
Oh, my passion flower,
at last we meet.
[GULPS]
This is so sudden.
Oh, think nothing of it,
Casanova.
You are too beautiful
to be true.
[CHITTERS]
[SNORTS]
I hate to tear myself away,
good-looking, but, uh,
I'd like to look
at some of the material.
Oh, I'd be glad
to show them to you.
Right this way.
Oh, come here,
handsome.
Go ahead, honey,
look at the furniture too.
Oh, you have such
beautiful eyes.
What's the matter
with my eyes?
Do they look like halvah?
This one is all right.
[ALL LAUGHING]
MOE:
I read in books about romances
starting like this
but I--
I never knew
it could ever happen to me.
LARRY:
Love is a funny thing.
You never know how
it's gonna strike or where.
FIFI:
How can any woman resist
such handsome men?
You boys are really
out of this world.
SHEMP:
I often wondered what makes me
so irresistible to women.
FIFI:
Oh, it's your good looks.
One look at you,
and, boom, she's your slave.
SHEMP:
Oh, you're only saying that
because you know it's true.
[ALL LAUGHING]
You know, chéri, I bet that you
are a regular lady-killer.
Oh, sure. The ladies take one
look at him and drop dead.
[ALL LAUGHING]
Oh, yeah?
I've been asked to get married
lots of times.
Who asked you?
My father and mother.
[ALL LAUGHING]
Do you believe in love
at first sight?
I sure--
[FABRIC TEARING]
Hey, look what she's
doing to that chair.
She's only testing
the material.
Testing it? She's making
noodles out of it.
Wait a minute.
Hey, lay off.
Oh, uh, I'm not
doing anything.
Well, this chair was sold.
Maybe the customer
won't take it.
Oh, yes, he will,
good-looking.
[CHUCKLES]
Let's search
this filing cabinet.
Maybe the pearls are in here.
Yeah.
Ooh.
Oh, honey, I am so sorry.
It's all right. I'm okay.
Keep searching.
We gotta find those pearls.
I was just testing
the material for strength.
That's nothing to get
mad about, adorable.
Oh, no?
How would you feel
if I stepped up to you
and did this, huh?
Ha!
Oh, a playboy, huh?
Yeah.
What do you doing--?
What are you doing?
Oh, yeah?
There's that.
[CHUCKLES]
Okay.
Let's shake and be pals.
Okay, dear.
Let go of that sleeve.
Quit it, you bully.
I ought to--
Don't you hit me.
Oh, looking
for trouble, eh?
There.
[CHOKED SCREAM]
Oh.
[SCREAMS]
There.
[WHIMPERS]
Look, my hair.
Oh, a toughie, eh?
Ow! Ow! Ow! Oh!
Oh--! Oh--! Oh--!
Oh, a wise dame, eh?
Oh! Oh!
Get me a dog,
will you?
[STOOGES WHIMPERING]
Hey, kids.
Yeah?
I found the pearl case
but it's empty.
Maybe one of them has
the necklace in his pocket.
Could be.
Let's give them the lovey-dovey
stuff and search them.
Yeah.
Oh, did she hurt
my poor little boy?
Sorry.
Oh-- Oh...
Oh, you mustn't
be mad, sugar pie.
I was only playing.
You should be playing tackle
on a football team.
Oh, don't be angry.
Mwah.
[WHIMPERS]
Mwah.
[CHUCKLES]
Oh...
[SNAPS]
[GASPS]
[GASPING]
Oh.
[GIGGLES]
Mwah.
[TITTERS]
See, the circus trainer's
jostling,
so the mouse says
to the elephants:
"Wait a minute, fellas,
let's be careful not tread
on each other."
[BOTH LAUGH]
Ain't that a dilly?
[BLOWS]
What's up, Mugsy?
I tail the three dames
to this joint.
You think they ditched
the pearls here?
Yeah, here's what
we'll do. We'll...
Suppose you give Fifi
a great big kiss.
Oh, gee, what if my scoutmaster
walked in and caught me?
We'll take the chance.
[SPUTTERS]
[LAUGHING]
Oh, no, no, no.
I can't stand it when
you tickle me.
Oh, you cannot stand
to be tickled, eh?
No.
[LAUGHING]
Oh.
[CHITTERING]
[LAUGHING]
No more.
[PANTING]
[GRUNTS]
Moe.
Larry.
Give me a hand,
I'm having clutch trouble.
Come on.
Come on.
Oh.
Why you...
Hey, you, come here.
LARRY:
All right, get hold of him.
Here, get around. There.
Get that.
Now, get on it.
ALL:
Heave-ho!
Heave-ho!
Heave-ho!
Heave...
MOE: Heave.
LARRY: Ho.
ALL:
Oh!
[ALL GROANING]
Come here, you.
Oh.
You nitwit.
Oh, are you all right, chéri?
I guess so.
Hey, I hope I didn't bust
the beads.
[GASPS]
Oh, I could sure love a man
who'd give me beads like that.
Here they are.
They're yours.
MUGSY:
Oh, no, they're mine.
Oh!
Mugsy, give me
those pearls.
STOOGES:
Pearls!
That's right, bub,
50,000 bucks' worth.
And we're taking them with us.
Don't let them have them.
They belong to us.
I don't understand this, buddy,
but I'll fight
for the woman that loves me.
Go on, annihilate him.
Why...
Wait until you see
him handle himself, ha!
Go ahead, gunpowder.
[GROANING]
Oh-- Oh.
[GRUNTING]
What are you doing here?
Come on. What is this,
a housing shortage?
Get out of here.
Don't you lay an egg on me.
[THUGS LAUGHING]
Ow.
Ooh.
Hey, hey.
Ow.
Now, cut it out,
I tell you.
I'll--
Now, take it easy.
I'll get you.
Whoa!
Why you--
Wait a minute.
Take it easy.
I'll murder you, you rat.
No.
[BODY THUDS]
Ah.
Come up. Get up and fight
like a man.
MOE:
Get up and fight like a man.
Come on, you rat.
Moe. Moe.
Don't go away,
I'll get you water.
So you babes try
to double cross me, huh?
Well, well, now--
Mugsy, you touch us
and I'm gonna let you have it.
You do and I'll smear
your pretty kisser
all over this joint.
WOMAN:
Keep away. I'm warning you.
I'm gonna get you anyway.
Oh!
[CHUCKLES]
That took care of him.
He won't bother you--
Ooh--! Ooh!
Oh!
[SCREAMS]
Where's Moe?
Why you--
Let go of me.
SHEMP:
Whoa!
[GROANS]
[SCREAMS]
Can't we just--? Ah!
I'm gonna get those fellas
this time and really fix them.
I'm gonna get-- Ah!
Nice going, toots.
Give me that.
Now, you scram out of here.
Now, for a little flat work.
[IRON HISSES]
[SCREAMING]
[IRON HISSES]
[SCREAMING]
[IRON HISSES]
[SCREAMING]
[IRON HISSES]
[SCREAMING]
[IRON HISSES]
[SCREAMING]
[IRON HISSES]
[SCREAMING]
[ALL WHIMPERING]
[SHEMP SCREAMING]
Oh! Ah--! Ah!
[ALL SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY]
[IRON HISSES]
[SCREAMING]
[IRON HISSES]
[SCREAMS]
Knock him cold.
[GROWLS]
Oh!
Oh!
[SCREAMING]
Are you okay, chéri?
Yes, I am, sweetheart.
But this did the trick.
Baby, I love you.
Mwah.
[IRON HISSES]
[WHIMPERING]
What's the matter?
I got hot lips.
[CHUCKLES]
Well, sugar,
here's your pearls.
Ah, thanks.
But they're not really ours.
We're returning them
to the rightful owners.
You know, you're not much
to look at
but, baby,
I'd go for you.
That goes for me too, cutie.
And that goes
for me three, baby.
Mm, yum, yum.
You know, honey, you're the kind
of girl I always dream about.
A rose-covered cottage.
Those big beauti--
[IRON SIZZLING]
I smell something burning.
Somebody's roasting a ham.
Ow! It's me!
Water, water, water.
Whoa!
[SHEMP GROANING]
[SCREAMING]
Ah. Ah. Ah.
[FAN WHIRRING]
[SCREAMING]
Oh! Oh, oh, oh!
What--?
Oh, no wonder. I--
[CHUCKLING]
Oh, pardon me. You excuse me.
[FAN WHIRRING]
Oh! Oh! Oh!
[♪]
Here it is.
All is clear.
Say, kids, checking
that pearl necklace
in this express office
over a year ago,
sure fooled the cops.
Yes, but we still spent
one year in the jail
for shoplifting
those fur coats.
But they couldn't pin
the pearl job on us.
We fooled them,
I tell you.
Okay, okay. But I don't think we
fooled Red and the mob.
They'll be watching for us.
Yes, but let's not talk
so much and get going.
Okay.
ALL:
Hup, hup, hup.
Hey, hey, we're
out of the clink, remember?
[ALL LAUGH]
We'd like to get a parcel.
Here's the check.
Your check
is over a year old.
Your parcel was sold
at auction yesterday
for storage charges.
It was bought
by some gentlemen
who own the Shangri-la
Upholstering Company
on Hope Street.
You can't do that.
I got news for you, sister,
I did it!
And there's nothing
you can do about it. Scram.
Oh, mister.
What?
Ugh!
[GRUNTS]
Why...
Wise guy, huh?
Come on, girls, we're headed
for Shangri-la.
[HUMMING]
[SCREAMS]
Why...
I'm sorry, Moe,
the bit bit you.
Yeah?
Oh.
Ow.
Oh!
Moe, Larry pushed me.
You're lying.
I got a good mind
to let you have that.
Ow.
All right--
Wait a minute, that's the box
we bought at the auction.
Oh, yeah.
[CHUCKLES]
You morons. Ten bucks
for a string of beads.
How did we know? It might have
been something valuable.
But it wasn't.
All right, so we--
MOE:
Get busy. Now, look,
we got work to do.
You stuff a chair.
I'll stuff an ottoman.
I'll stuff a duck.
[SNICKERS]
Oh!
Hey, leave him alone.
You'll cut his--
Quiet.
You keep out of this,
will you?
Both of you now.
All right.
You've been fooling around
long enough.
This is a place of business.
You hear?
What is it? A place of business.
Yeah.
Quiet, when I--
All right, I'll do it.
You keep out of this.
All right.
What did you say it was?
Don't you tell me what--
Come here, you...
All right, take it out.
Where's the chair?
Well, here we are.
Girls,
turn on the charms
and give them the business.
Ooh, la, la.
Oh, parles vous.
Ah, oui, oui.
And while they're
swooning with romance,
we'll get the pearls.
Ah.
MOE:
You fellas have to learn
to behave yourself.
I want all this nonsense
stopped.
You understand? We--
Shh, customers.
[CLEARS THROAT]
Well, ladies, what
can we do for you?
Which one of you handsome men
is the proprietor?
ALL:
I am.
Ooh!
Oh.
Oh.
I'm the head man, lady.
What'll it be?
We came in to select
some material to redo a chair
but when my eyes rested
on you, dreamboat,
I almost forgot
my mission.
Oh, yeah?
[SHUDDERS]
What gorgeous hair
you have, Goldilocks.
How do you keep it so nice?
Oh, it's easy.
I use a home perm in it.
[CHUCKLES]
Oh, you're cute.
And such a beautiful head
of skin in front too.
Thank you.
You know what?
I polish it with floor wax.
[CHUCKLES]
Oh, my passion flower,
at last we meet.
[GULPS]
This is so sudden.
Oh, think nothing of it,
Casanova.
You are too beautiful
to be true.
[CHITTERS]
[SNORTS]
I hate to tear myself away,
good-looking, but, uh,
I'd like to look
at some of the material.
Oh, I'd be glad
to show them to you.
Right this way.
Oh, come here,
handsome.
Go ahead, honey,
look at the furniture too.
Oh, you have such
beautiful eyes.
What's the matter
with my eyes?
Do they look like halvah?
This one is all right.
[ALL LAUGHING]
MOE:
I read in books about romances
starting like this
but I--
I never knew
it could ever happen to me.
LARRY:
Love is a funny thing.
You never know how
it's gonna strike or where.
FIFI:
How can any woman resist
such handsome men?
You boys are really
out of this world.
SHEMP:
I often wondered what makes me
so irresistible to women.
FIFI:
Oh, it's your good looks.
One look at you,
and, boom, she's your slave.
SHEMP:
Oh, you're only saying that
because you know it's true.
[ALL LAUGHING]
You know, chéri, I bet that you
are a regular lady-killer.
Oh, sure. The ladies take one
look at him and drop dead.
[ALL LAUGHING]
Oh, yeah?
I've been asked to get married
lots of times.
Who asked you?
My father and mother.
[ALL LAUGHING]
Do you believe in love
at first sight?
I sure--
[FABRIC TEARING]
Hey, look what she's
doing to that chair.
She's only testing
the material.
Testing it? She's making
noodles out of it.
Wait a minute.
Hey, lay off.
Oh, uh, I'm not
doing anything.
Well, this chair was sold.
Maybe the customer
won't take it.
Oh, yes, he will,
good-looking.
[CHUCKLES]
Let's search
this filing cabinet.
Maybe the pearls are in here.
Yeah.
Ooh.
Oh, honey, I am so sorry.
It's all right. I'm okay.
Keep searching.
We gotta find those pearls.
I was just testing
the material for strength.
That's nothing to get
mad about, adorable.
Oh, no?
How would you feel
if I stepped up to you
and did this, huh?
Ha!
Oh, a playboy, huh?
Yeah.
What do you doing--?
What are you doing?
Oh, yeah?
There's that.
[CHUCKLES]
Okay.
Let's shake and be pals.
Okay, dear.
Let go of that sleeve.
Quit it, you bully.
I ought to--
Don't you hit me.
Oh, looking
for trouble, eh?
There.
[CHOKED SCREAM]
Oh.
[SCREAMS]
There.
[WHIMPERS]
Look, my hair.
Oh, a toughie, eh?
Ow! Ow! Ow! Oh!
Oh--! Oh--! Oh--!
Oh, a wise dame, eh?
Oh! Oh!
Get me a dog,
will you?
[STOOGES WHIMPERING]
Hey, kids.
Yeah?
I found the pearl case
but it's empty.
Maybe one of them has
the necklace in his pocket.
Could be.
Let's give them the lovey-dovey
stuff and search them.
Yeah.
Oh, did she hurt
my poor little boy?
Sorry.
Oh-- Oh...
Oh, you mustn't
be mad, sugar pie.
I was only playing.
You should be playing tackle
on a football team.
Oh, don't be angry.
Mwah.
[WHIMPERS]
Mwah.
[CHUCKLES]
Oh...
[SNAPS]
[GASPS]
[GASPING]
Oh.
[GIGGLES]
Mwah.
[TITTERS]
See, the circus trainer's
jostling,
so the mouse says
to the elephants:
"Wait a minute, fellas,
let's be careful not tread
on each other."
[BOTH LAUGH]
Ain't that a dilly?
[BLOWS]
What's up, Mugsy?
I tail the three dames
to this joint.
You think they ditched
the pearls here?
Yeah, here's what
we'll do. We'll...
Suppose you give Fifi
a great big kiss.
Oh, gee, what if my scoutmaster
walked in and caught me?
We'll take the chance.
[SPUTTERS]
[LAUGHING]
Oh, no, no, no.
I can't stand it when
you tickle me.
Oh, you cannot stand
to be tickled, eh?
No.
[LAUGHING]
Oh.
[CHITTERING]
[LAUGHING]
No more.
[PANTING]
[GRUNTS]
Moe.
Larry.
Give me a hand,
I'm having clutch trouble.
Come on.
Come on.
Oh.
Why you...
Hey, you, come here.
LARRY:
All right, get hold of him.
Here, get around. There.
Get that.
Now, get on it.
ALL:
Heave-ho!
Heave-ho!
Heave-ho!
Heave...
MOE: Heave.
LARRY: Ho.
ALL:
Oh!
[ALL GROANING]
Come here, you.
Oh.
You nitwit.
Oh, are you all right, chéri?
I guess so.
Hey, I hope I didn't bust
the beads.
[GASPS]
Oh, I could sure love a man
who'd give me beads like that.
Here they are.
They're yours.
MUGSY:
Oh, no, they're mine.
Oh!
Mugsy, give me
those pearls.
STOOGES:
Pearls!
That's right, bub,
50,000 bucks' worth.
And we're taking them with us.
Don't let them have them.
They belong to us.
I don't understand this, buddy,
but I'll fight
for the woman that loves me.
Go on, annihilate him.
Why...
Wait until you see
him handle himself, ha!
Go ahead, gunpowder.
[GROANING]
Oh-- Oh.
[GRUNTING]
What are you doing here?
Come on. What is this,
a housing shortage?
Get out of here.
Don't you lay an egg on me.
[THUGS LAUGHING]
Ow.
Ooh.
Hey, hey.
Ow.
Now, cut it out,
I tell you.
I'll--
Now, take it easy.
I'll get you.
Whoa!
Why you--
Wait a minute.
Take it easy.
I'll murder you, you rat.
No.
[BODY THUDS]
Ah.
Come up. Get up and fight
like a man.
MOE:
Get up and fight like a man.
Come on, you rat.
Moe. Moe.
Don't go away,
I'll get you water.
So you babes try
to double cross me, huh?
Well, well, now--
Mugsy, you touch us
and I'm gonna let you have it.
You do and I'll smear
your pretty kisser
all over this joint.
WOMAN:
Keep away. I'm warning you.
I'm gonna get you anyway.
Oh!
[CHUCKLES]
That took care of him.
He won't bother you--
Ooh--! Ooh!
Oh!
[SCREAMS]
Where's Moe?
Why you--
Let go of me.
SHEMP:
Whoa!
[GROANS]
[SCREAMS]
Can't we just--? Ah!
I'm gonna get those fellas
this time and really fix them.
I'm gonna get-- Ah!
Nice going, toots.
Give me that.
Now, you scram out of here.
Now, for a little flat work.
[IRON HISSES]
[SCREAMING]
[IRON HISSES]
[SCREAMING]
[IRON HISSES]
[SCREAMING]
[IRON HISSES]
[SCREAMING]
[IRON HISSES]
[SCREAMING]
[IRON HISSES]
[SCREAMING]
[ALL WHIMPERING]
[SHEMP SCREAMING]
Oh! Ah--! Ah!
[ALL SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY]
[IRON HISSES]
[SCREAMING]
[IRON HISSES]
[SCREAMS]
Knock him cold.
[GROWLS]
Oh!
Oh!
[SCREAMING]
Are you okay, chéri?
Yes, I am, sweetheart.
But this did the trick.
Baby, I love you.
Mwah.
[IRON HISSES]
[WHIMPERING]
What's the matter?
I got hot lips.
[CHUCKLES]
Well, sugar,
here's your pearls.
Ah, thanks.
But they're not really ours.
We're returning them
to the rightful owners.
You know, you're not much
to look at
but, baby,
I'd go for you.
That goes for me too, cutie.
And that goes
for me three, baby.
Mm, yum, yum.
You know, honey, you're the kind
of girl I always dream about.
A rose-covered cottage.
Those big beauti--
[IRON SIZZLING]
I smell something burning.
Somebody's roasting a ham.
Ow! It's me!
Water, water, water.
Whoa!
[SHEMP GROANING]
[SCREAMING]
Ah. Ah. Ah.
[FAN WHIRRING]
[SCREAMING]
Oh! Oh, oh, oh!
What--?
Oh, no wonder. I--
[CHUCKLING]
Oh, pardon me. You excuse me.
[FAN WHIRRING]
Oh! Oh! Oh!
[♪]