Holding These Moments (2020) - full transcript

It was more than

just a band to me,

it was my family.

They were

in a very real way, all I had.

I lost my mother

before Bane started,

lost my father

halfway through Bane.

Never had a relationship

last past a few years.

They were the one relationship

that I seemed to be

pretty good at,

anyway, I'm not sure if I could

say I was very good at it.

I love this life,

I love being on the road,

I love playing this music.

I love my guys in the band.

From day one, it's always

kind of been the same.

Did whatever we wanted to do,

and did the music whenever

we wanted to do it.

We'll tour when we wanna tour,

do tours that we want to do.

That feeling of team

is something I'll miss.

You know, when you're in a

band with guys for so long,

you know, you're a team.

I grew into the person I am

because of the guys in the band.

Because I had to learn

how to exist with them,

and I had to learn the art

of compromise and sacrifice.

Everything we wrote

was due to something

that happened to

us in our lives,

and

it just so happens that

this stuff happens in a

lot of people's lives.

I'm up there

screaming my head off,

losing my mind,

and I look out,

and there is kids

doing the same thing.

It's a connection that

you just don't feel,

really anywhere else.

♪ Who will set me free? ♪

I had a hard time leaving

for that final tour.

It all happened so fast.

It all just came rushing forth.

Literally 17 years of like,

essentially nonstop

touring and then,

going to this one

and knowing that

it's the last time you're

ever going to go anywhere.

So, this is the first

show of this tour,

definitely not a big

fan of trying to find

the perfect words to express

how we're feeling right now.

I can only tell you

how I'm feeling,

and it's very, very thankful,

and very overwhelming.

It was the first

show of the tour,

and it was the second that

me and Bedard looked at each

other on stage and said,

"The fuck have we done?"

♪ When Armageddon's ♪

♪ Been locked and loaded ♪

♪ I will come back for you ♪

♪ I will come back for you ♪

♪ When Armageddon's ♪

♪ Been locked and loaded ♪

♪ I will come back for you ♪

♪ I will come back for you ♪

♪ When Armageddon's ♪

♪ Been locked and loaded ♪

♪ I will come back for you ♪

It was really

nice just to watch

a room just give everything

to the band that,

for the last 20 years,

has given everything to us.

♪ I can still see the reasons ♪

♪ That I opened my eyes to

the scene in the first place ♪

♪ And I can still feel my

beliefs growing stronger ♪

♪ stronger every day ♪

It was sad but, it

was really good sing-alongs,

and it was like

our family reunion.

Seeing the people

that I met 10 years ago,

and I don't see

them all that often,

but it's my family,

it's my friends.

I think what sets Bane

apart from every other band,

is that they have an

energy I've never seen have

like, in a fan base.

People go completely

ballistic and crazy.

I've just never seen

that type of like,

happy, like positive

energy in hardcore.

It was a just a

different feeling,

it was a totally different vibe

than everything I've

been accustomed to.

One little request,

you can put the punching

and the kicking

away for the night.

Yeah.

Treat each other with

a little bit of respect

and compassion.

Move up, sing along,

have some fun.

At Bane shows,

there's not a lot

of like, posturing.

When Bane plays, that goes

away, it doesn't matter.

I feel very lucky that my

first introduction to hardcore

was through a Bane show,

because it's a completely

different atmosphere.

You are a 1000% accepted.

As a woman, you know, growing

up in hardcore and punk,

that isn't a feeling you

usually get from a band.

I still believe, that

this is a special place,

for people of all sizes,

all beliefs, boys and girls,

this isn't just some

fucking kickboxing club.

Soon as that music starts,

you just can't stand still.

You have to be a

part of the music.

Can't just be on the side.

I felt like there

was a comraderie

and respect at Bane shows.

And I think it sort of

pulled some of the people

from just the general

hardcore scene,

into a more...

A bigger community,

and did something that

other bands weren't doing,

and kind of brought this

family feeling to hardcore.

It is about emotion,

and about connection,

and a community is a great.

Is a great way to look at it.

It's definitely not intentional

in any kind of really

thought out way.

It's just...

It's what we do,

we want everybody to come.

You're all our family,

come and respect us,

and have fun.

Bedard writes about

it all the time,

if you can't do

that and respect it,

well there's the door.

Let hit you on the ass, right?

If you come into

this fucking room,

with the intentions of

doing something interactive,

proactive, then this thing

truly does belong to you,

this is your fucking kingdom.

I've always sort of wondered

if I found punk and hardcore,

or if it was always

going to find me.

Music and hardcore

in general, was like

the first time that

anybody ever...

I feel like saw good

in me.

You know, it was like

the first time that

I was ever accepted

in any place ever.

It's more than just music,

it's the people involved.

It was the punk

and hardcore scene

that made me feel welcome,

which is ironic because it

was predominantly white.

But I felt like,

these are my people,

this is where I feel safe.

You always have that music

and the people connected to it,

that you can reach out to,

that you have so

much in common with.

It was a place for me

to exist and be free,

and not have to live

by anyone else's rules.

I think that was an

opportunity for people

that felt like they had

something they needed to say,

to be able to just say,

"Hey, I can do this."

You didn't have to be on a

big stage, in an amphitheater.

You know, it could be in a

hall, with 20 of your friends.

But I think it's a worthy

search to try and find

that fucking thing that

you will not let go of,

that you will die for.

For me, the first real

hardcore band where,

it like clicked.

I went to Newbury

Comics in Shrewsberry,

just flipping through

the seven inches,

and I saw the "Inside

Out" seven inch.

That photo, where Zack de la

Rocha's just going bonkers,

and you read the liner notes,

"Thanks to this band,

thanks to that band."

And you know,

I started buying all

those seven inches.

And then, going to

the local shows,

I discovered Converge,

and then I realized after that,

that the guitar

player for Converge,

was the person working at

Newbury Comics, Aaron Dalbec.

So, this building over here,

this is a place called the

Worcester Artist Group.

We used to actually

all go to shows here,

before we really

knew each other.

It led us to

finding a hall called

the Quinsigamond Village

Community Center,

where we were able to

book our own shows,

and our own bands.

The first band that I

really did anything with,

was Converge.

That was probably

like, '93 or '94.

Me and my friend, Steve Neale,

started a band called Barrit.

Kind of math metal techy stuff.

As soon as I realized that

I could just sing in a band,

that you didn't need

any talent or anything,

you know, we just did it.

My friends were

starting a band

and they needed a bass player.

So, I didn't really have

any interest before that.

I fell in love with

it really fast.

Aggressive Hate,

was the first band.

We had songs titled,

"Skate, Don't Think,"

and things like that.

Then came a band

called Backbone.

'87 would have been Backbone,

all the way till '90.

Damon and I, the old

drummer from Converge,

we we're just gonna have fun

and start this new project.

So we had started writing songs.

Ben Chused who had played

drums in Ten Yard Fight,

was originally going

to play second guitar,

but he had some legal problems,

that he couldn't

leave his house.

And September of '95,

Bedard's old band, Backbone,

had done a reunion show.

Within a month, Chris Pupecki,

the guitar player of Cast Iron

Hike, was in a record store,

that Aaron Dalbec worked at.

I don't know Aaron Dalbec,

I've never even

heard of his band,

Converge, at that time.

Dalbec says, "Hey,

do you know anyone

"who might want to

sing in my new band?"

And he said, "Oh, we just

did the Backbone reunion,

"you should call Bedard."

And he gave me

his phone number,

he's like, "I don't know

if he'd want to do it,

"but, here's his number,

give him a call."

I didn't know it at the time,

but it was gonna be the best

phone call that I ever took.

Still kind of looking

for a bass player.

And we found Pete early on.

Pete was the first piece

that came after me.

He was like, "Don't

you play bass?"

And I was like, "Yeah,"

and he's like, "You

should come try out."

And I was like, you

know,.

I was like, "Aaron

from Converge asked me

"to come and try

out for his band."

Dalbec wasn't crazy about

the way he played bass.

He didn't play with

a pick, he just like,

played with his fingers.

At the end of practice,

Aaron Dalbec said,

"It went good but,

"you have to learn

to play with a pick.

"Learn how to do that or,

it's not gonna work out."

I guess he went home, and

like, practiced all week long.

It was so hard.

I was okay with my

fingers, and like,

they say, "No, you

can't do that anymore.

"You have to like,

relearn the whole thing."

Aaron Dalbec, he

had a definite vision.

He was gonna write these

songs that were fast,

and spirited, and short.

Now lyrically,

I was formulating a very

specific idea in my head

about what the language of my

lyric attack was going to be.

I'm being given a shot

here to put a pen to paper

and to say something.

I've been waiting for this

moment as a creative person

for a very long time,

and to make sure that

the lyrics were strong.

December of '95, we

recorded the "Demo".

That was the first time

that any band brought in

like, a serious crew of

people to do gang vocals.

You know "Demo" was recorded

and we still didn't know

what we were gonna be called.

The only one that I remember

that I came up with,

was "Summer Ends."

Which, thank God, we didn't

go with "Summer Ends."

I legitimately was

looking through a thesaurus,

and got to the B's,

and what did I think of Bane?

The poison of something,

or the thing that

destroys something else,

it just sounded hard.

I think they told me the name,

and I was like, "I don't

really like that."

You know, I wasn't on

the board to decide that.

I just kept

thinking of, you know,

how cool it's gonna

look on a shirt,

like strong, and four letters.

Before the first show, we

had made a lot of demo tapes.

I remember going

to New Bedford Fest,

Pete Chilton was giving

out the free demos.

We had the "Demo" out

for like a couple months,

and then we played

our first show.

There was a definite

feeling in the air.

Dalbec was a cool

kid in a cool band,

and people that had seen

the Backbone reunion,

were anxious to see

the new thing was so,

we were hyped up man,

we were ready to hit

that fucking stage hard.

We played that first note,

and Aaron sang that first lyric,

it was like an eruption of

chorus of people singing.

Somehow it felt like

at that first show,

everybody knew

every song already.

I think people were

just hungry for something

a little bit new, or

different at that moment.

In our general central

mass area, things were wild.

And then, you know, we just

made a bunch of friends early,

and those kids were

excited to come out,

and would go off a

little harder every time.

Kurt Ballou from Converge

was filling in guitar,

and he was just, was like,

"Until you find

somebody, I'll play."

At the same time,

I was in Barrit,

a metal band with Zach.

I said, "I know

this guy named Zach,

"and he's really good,

"and he goes crazy on stage."

I think I was like a

little bit jealous of Pete

when he was in the

band and I was like, ú

"Oh man, you get to

be in this cool band,"

and then one day he had asked me

if I wanted to come

try out for Bane.

I don't even know if they

tried anybody else out,

but they accepted me

tryout so.

I came in six months

after the band started.

We've always laughed about how

I've never been asked

to actually join Bane.

They'll tease me

every now and then,

and say, "You're

just a fill-in."

"Motherfucker, I wrote like

five records with you guys now.'

It's bitter sweet.

It was a great show

but, it's sad that

it's the last time.

Especially when it's

a band that you've

you know, enjoyed

some times with.

Coming to grips

with the fact that

you're not gonna see some

of those people, maybe ever.

It was pretty tough.

They're soaking everything up,

these shows are awesome.

Wow, we haven't had a show

this good in this city

for how long, you

know what I mean.

It's in the back of your head.

It's like, what is will not

be in less than two months.

Next day was Gilman.

Gilman

Gilman.

Which is you know,

the greatest...

The greatest venue in the

country, maybe the world.

Legendary in the

punk hardcore scene.

♪ Out of the road ♪

Yeah

♪ Little boys let

their beards grow ♪

The amount of friends

that have came out,

got in the van,

flew in from places,

it's already getting

overwhelming.

I flew out to

California to follow

the last leg of that

tour on the West Coast.

'Cause I wanted to get

in as many Bane moments

as I could before it was gone.

So, it's been

a good long ride.

I can't imagine there being

a luckier band out there.

So, I think it was close

to a 1000 people in there.

I didn't really get a

chance to take it all in

on how insane the show was.

Kids were going ape-shit.

If I wasn't old and

didn't have back problems,

I would have tried

stage diving.

The condensation and

the sweat from everyone,

the humidity, made the stage

like an ice skating rink.

Everything was so fucking

slippery, it was crazy.

By the third or fourth song,

I realized that I couldn't

jump, I couldn't move.

I just kept thinking I

was gonna bust my ass,

like, or do a

split or something.

That became a part

of the fun for me.

It was sick watching everyone,

this like balancing act.

We've had a pretty extensive

relationship with California.

Some of our really good

friends live there.

It was kind of bizarre going

there for the last time,

and really not knowing

if we were ever going to see

some of those people again.

So it was a pretty

hard thing to do,

and pretty emotional night.

This is the first truly,

truly devastating one for me

to have to be saying

goodbye to California,

tonight is crazy.

I was a little sad that

we didn't get to play

at the Chain Reaction,

a venue that we've been going to

since our first tour

in '98, and have...

I would venture to say

anytime we've ever

been to California,

we've played Chain

Reaction at least once.

But, it was a good

night, it was a fun show.

California has been

the hardest to leave

since we started

this final US tour.

Because until then,

I had in my brain,

everybody in the United States

was going to the final show.

And so, I'm giving

everybody hugs in Santa Ana,

and I'm like, "I'll

see you in June,"

and they're like, "No,

like, tonight was it."

and then it would just like...

It hit me like a wall.

My brain is in

denial right now and,

I'm still kind of in denial.

You can interview me

after the last show

- at the mental hospital.

- Yeah

And then we got to kick

it two days in Vegas.

Two of the glazed, two

of those, two of those.

Good donut.

This band is

about all the tears,

and the sweat,

and the blood,

and the passion that

we've put into this,

for us so that we can continue

to find our way

through this world.

Every like six or

eight months we recorded

new songs for an E.P.

The "Demo" came out in '96,

the "Seven Inch" came

out in the fall of '96,

and I think "Free To

Think, Free To Be"

came out in the spring of '97.

"Holding This Moment"

came out in '98,

which was the seven inch.

They had asked me

toward the end of 1997

to come back and play drums

instead of playing guitar.

That was like the first like,

big studio type of thing

that we did with Bane.

At that point, I thought,

this is Dalbec's band,

and I didn't wanna ruin that

vision that these guys have,

by putting my weirdo metal

influences into it or whatever.

The first three seven inches

just have a lot of very spirited

in love with hardcore

type of stuff.

But there's some dark

stuff on there too.

I was pretty good at being

able to navigate my way through

dark themes and maybe

bring it around to

something a little more

optimistic in the end.

"Holding This Moment",

like when you first

put on that record,

and it's like.

You know, even the

beginning of that song

is just nothing like

you've ever really heard

in another hardcore band.

When I try to provide an

example of a band I was in

or when I played drums on

something that I'm proud of,

it's that song, and that E.P.

that we recorded together.

When I listen to it today it

still gives me goosebumps.

Next time you listen to

the song "Count Me Out."

When they say, "shed your past".

♪ Shed your past ♪

We definitely, a lot of us

were saying, "Shit your pants."

I don't think Aaron Bedard was

very happy about that, but,

maybe 20 years later he'll

find it funny, I don't know.

The first two seven inches,

Aaron Dalbec just

sort of self-released.

And then EVR, Equal

Vision Records,

was willing to take

a chance on us.

You know, they were

gonna put out the E.P,

which is the "Holding

This Moment" CD.

Equal Vision was in a

house with a barn in the back

and the label was in the barn.

Almost every long

weekend or tour,

we would roll into New York

at three in the morning,

sleep in the barn,

and then Kate and

Steve would have us,

and they would always go

get us bagels and stuff

and we'd sit around

the table and talk,

you know, about how things

were going and eat bagels.

They were more

than a band to me.

I felt like, I kind of knew

them as individual people.

It was one of the best

matches for a band and a label.

We've never had a single

bad experience with them.

Whenever we talk, I

was just trying to like,

be supportive.

Sounds cliche, but they

weren't just our record label,

they were like, almost

part of the band,

they were like a

part of the family.

I was in a band

called Close Call.

Ben was in the band at the time,

he was just gonna

do "Ten Yard Fight,"

so, they knew they were in

trouble, they needed a drummer,

so, Aaron called me up

and asked me to do

the tour with them.

Before Nick, Bane

was a side project.

You know, Bane did weekends,

we had never done a tour,

we had only put out a

"Demo," and "Seven Inches."

Played when we could,

and then along came Nick,

we started touring, you know,

things started happening.

There are seven

of us in the van,

and six of us have never done

anything like this

before in our lives.

This is everything

we've been hoping for.

That first tour,

in the summer of '98,

we did three and half

weeks with Saves the Day.

We drove across this country,

and our arrival on the West

Coast was Portland, Oregon.

You could see the Pacific Ocean,

that up until that

point in my life,

it might as well have

been fucking Mars to me.

Like, I had never gone anywhere.

I remember standing there

and looking at the Pacific

Ocean and thinking,

"Anything that happens after

this, is extra credit."

Like we did it, my mother

would be proud of me,

because of this

music that we made.

We started playing

to 25 kids a night,

50 kids was like

an awesome show.

You know, maybe

you got those spots

where there was a 100 kids,

200 kids, where it was like,

this is the greatest

show of my whole life.

You're playing for

a 100 bucks a night,

you know, 50 bucks a night.

Sometimes, you're not

sleeping in hotels.

You have a sleeping

bag and a pillow,

and hopefully there's

a carpet in the house.

You learn how to kind

of adapt to tour life,

sleeping on a floor,

and eating $2 meals.

Aaron Dalbec had

toured a couple of times.

Toured with Ten Yard Fight,

he had already been to Europe,

and Converge had already

done a couple of U.S things.

So, he was like the old vet,

and then he was 23

maybe at the time.

Anytime anything

weird would happen,

we were like, "What do we do?"

And he is like, "just go do

your laundry."

A year later, we did "It

All Comes Down To This."

It was a big departure

from "Holding This Moment."

It's like so out

there and weird,

and like no one else

sounds like that.

We were trying to do

something ambitious,

and it failed.

It went a little

crazy guitar-wise and,

recorded with a different guy.

We recorded with

three seven inches,

all with Brian McTernan.

He was a hardcore kid

that lived in Boston,

sang in a hardcore

band named Battery,

and then for whatever reason,

when It was time to do the L.P.

Converge had just done a

tour with, Today Is the Day,

and Steve Austin really

wanted to do the record.

So, we went in there

and we recorded

like a six song demo

in like eight hours.

And it sounded awesome,

comparatively it was great.

So we did the record with him.

Maybe we were just young

and kind of naive, but like,

We just didn't

have that direction

that Brian McTernan

brought to the table.

It was before I was

confident enough

to say anything

in the recordings,

as far as trying

to direct people.

He just really let us do

whatever the fuck we wanted to,

and that was not good for us.

There's nobody there

that knows how this record

is supposed to sound,

knows what a good

vocal performance is

from a bad vocal performance,

I have no fucking

idea what I'm doing,

I'm just screaming.

We were all pretty

disheartened by it.

♪ Calling you out ♪

♪ For ♪

♪ The last time ♪

♪ Come show your face ♪

We ended up with this

record, that sounds,

in my opinion, tragic.

It all comes down to

this is one of the worst

sounding hardcore

records in history,

but some people love it.

When anyone tells me that

that's their Bane record,

that they love that Bane record.

I think it's a

real testament to,

this music can be loved even

if it doesn't sound good.

That, if the lyrics or

the attitude is there,

you will find a way

to love these records.

If it hits you at

the right time,

the right place,

the right age.

We can't be mad at

that record because,

"Can We Start Again"

came out of that record,

and we owe this whole

career to that song.

♪ Can we start again ♪

♪ Go back to what

it meant back then ♪

♪ Open minds and open hearts ♪

♪ The things that set us apart ♪

That was like the first

time that we played a show,

and it was crazy for

"Can We Start Again."

I was at the show with Steve,

and Steve turned to

me and he was like,

"Do you think all these

kids bought the record?

"How's everybody know the

words like this, it's crazy."

When you catch Bane,

on the right night,

with the right crowd,

in the right venue,

and you just see the

ultimate connection,

between band and crowd,

and that perfect

positive energy.

When you see that, goosebumps.

"Can We Start Again" was

like the song that really

made us realize

that this was bigger

than we thought

it would ever be.

That was the first time,

I realized Bane wasn't this

new England local band,

they were this

big hardcore band.

I tried never to

take for granted,

or to never lose track of the

fact that while we really,

failed or stumbled

upon a miracle here.

That not every band gets

to have one of those.

Can we start again.

Go back to

what it meant back then.

Everyone.

Open minds

and open hearts

The things that set us apart.

Yeah

♪ Can we start again ♪

♪ Go back to what

it meant back then ♪

♪ Open minds and open hearts ♪

We played a free show

at the Nile Theater

in Mesa, Arizona.

Michelle who does...

I think she's done all of our

shows in the Phoenix area,

from the very

beginning pretty much.

She briefly mentioned it to me

of the idea of

doing a free show.

And we were like, "Why?"

And she's like,

I didn't want

money to be an excuse

for kids not to come out

and either see them

for the last time,

or see them for the first time.

Well, that's the venue

that we are always

playing in Arizona,

but we always play

in the basement,

to maybe 120 to 200 kids.

When we put it up as a

free show, it was huge.

It was by far the biggest

Arizona show we've ever played.

I feel that they've been

really influential in my life,

and in hardcore,

and they deserve

a proper send-off.

♪ This is a promise ♪

♪ I made to you ♪

♪ I'll be right there ♪

♪ I'll be right next to you ♪

We were leaving from

San Antonio to Houston

with a bunch of our

friends, The Perez Family.

It's like ten of them.

Mom and dad and all their kids,

who've come out to all of

our Texas shows forever.

They told us there was supposed

be some crazy rain storm.

Houston got 12 inches of

rain within like four hours.

A lot of the city

had been shut down.

A lot of the highways

were shut down.

We weren't even sure we

were gonna make the show.

At about two o'clock,

we got a call saying,

"Venue has got power,

venue is open."

You know, there's not

much that's gonna stop us

from playing a show.

Thank you very, very much

for being here

tonight, this is cool.

♪ This is my therapy ♪

♪ You breath life into me ♪

♪ My only sanity ♪

♪ Within these walls

is where I'm free ♪

♪ This is my therapy ♪

♪ You breath life into me ♪

♪ My only sanity ♪

♪ Within these walls

is where I'm free ♪

We played two

nights in Chicago.

Both nights were

real, real cool.

There were no problems.

The vibe was right in there.

Just the crowd was so on 10,

and there was so

many stage dives,

and it felt like we

were really on fire.

No matter where I've moved

to, whether it was Colorado,

Seattle, New York, Chicago,

like, Bane was always there

in a weird sick kind

of touring band way,

and then now, it's like that

will no longer be there,

and it's kind of

a weird feeling.

As each show

ends, it's closer,

and it hits a little bit harder.

The vibe's alright, in the

van the morale's alright,

which is even better than usual.

We're having a

really nice time,

it's been an incredible tour.

See me again in a few days,

though that story could change.

This is a really, really

insanely great tour,

maybe the best tour,

but it's also the worst

tour, 'cause it's the last.

No matter how old you are,

no matter how many years pass,

or how much your parents,

or your boss,

or your peers

think that you should be doing

something with your life,

other than this,

if this is what you

feel in your heart,

then this is where you belong.

We did a tour with

Adamantium and Death by Stereo,

L.A bands that were super

tight on the same label.

I did release the Bane split

"Seven Inch" with Adamantium,

on Indecision Records.

We were doing a Death by

Stereo and Ensign One.

And Death by Stereo

and Adamantium,

we were planning on

booking a summer tour.

Dalbec suggested that Bane

do one of these splits.

I was excited, I didn't ask

'cause I figured like

there's just no way.

And he came up with the idea,

let's do it even better,

what if Death by Stereo,

Adamantium, and us

all went on tour together?

That may have been one

of the most eye-opening/

fun tours we had

done to that point.

We didn't know

anybody in the bands.

Day two or three, was like,

clique, best friends,

and it was just one

of those tours where

we just rolled

together everywhere.

We slept in the same places,

those fucking poor kids,

whatever house we got in,

18 dudes, sleeping

in the same house.

You weren't gonna get us

apart from each other,

it was so much fun.

Driving down the

highway in Colorado,

with Dave Itow hanging

out the window,

shooting bottle rockets,

mortars, fucking Roman candles,

at us in our van,

and me hanging out of my

van shooting them back.

And it was like that everyday.

Were like, "Hey, let's pull

over and jump off this bridge."

Me and the bass player

for Adamantium Schwartz,

if we see water, we're

gonna jump in it.

It's probably like 15, 20 feet.

But we don't even

know how deep this is,

we just start

throwing rocks to see,

and then just one

of us jumped in.

Any last words?

Fuck you guys.

And then everybody just

started pitching off.

And it became like

an hour and a half,

of just jumping into

this random river

on the side of the road.

I like that you threw

rocks into the river

like that's gonna test

the depth of the water.

Like you're gonna understand

because it makes a ping.

Like, oh, that's deep enough

to jump in off of a bridge.

I loved being insane

with them always.

We would just plan

things everyday.

Here we are, in

beautiful Oklahoma.

Abort, abort mission,

Abort mission, abort mission.

we're being chased

away by that lady.

Finding like

waterfalls to jump off,

or like

oh, there's a firework place.

Let's not get a hotel,

but let's spend a $100

on the craziest

fucking firework ever.

On the very last

night in Austin,

we met some random

homeless dude on the street

who was playing Poison,

"Every Rose Has Its

Thorn" on his guitar,

and all of us got around

and started singing with him.

It's a great way

to end a tour too.

Yeah, it is, it really was.

Final words on tour?

There is no words.

Time of my life,

best time I ever had.

I can't believe this, this

is what I do for a living,

it's is amazing.

We spent probably

the best summer

of my entire life together.

Those guys are awesome,

and they smell horrible.

After that, we became a band

hungry for that

sort of connection.

It was a really, just an

important feature for Bane,

I think just to be in the van.

This is like a huge

part of their existence.

Bane was always a band to me,

that just broke every rule

and did super unique things,

and "Give Blood" is such

a good example of that.

As soon as it starts,

that first note,

you're just like, I

wanna be a part of this.

♪ Fuck yeah ♪

♪ I am still holding on ♪

We wrote such a crazy record,

when we did "It All

Comes Down To This,"

that I think we just looked

at each other and said,

We're gonna write

two minute songs,

that punch you in the face.

You know, no movie

samples, no meandering,

let's just hit them and

get the fuck out of there.

And that's what we did.

The lyrics are

all collaborative,

the music was all collaborative.

That was the first record

that we were all just

like, this is us.

"Give Blood" came on the

other side of all this touring,

of a lot of going

and seeing the world,

and making amazing friends and,

we're getting great

responses at shows,

and people were putting

us up in their houses,

and unbelievable gestures of

friendship and generosity.

We had Brian McTernan back.

I always felt like a

huge part of my job was

to push the bands.

To see what it could be beyond

what they think

that it could be.

It's so hard to get

almost everything perfect.

That record is

pretty damn close.

I think at that point Pete

was doing graphic design.

For "Give Blood" he was like,

"You want me to

try to design it?"

And we were like, "Yeah."

We knew it was going

to be called "Give Blood"

before we started

doing the layout.

I had this idea in my

mind that I wanted it

to be a real scrapbook rather

than photoshopped together.

I actually went out

and took this picture.

This is actually me in here.

Set up a tripod and just carried

guitars in front of the van

and tried to get the

long exposure shot there.

Each person in that

"Give Blood" layout,

had a spread,

and they sort of

put that together.

It's falling apart now but,

I basically scanned everything.

When that came

out, I remember like,

the internet was around then.

All these like,

online zines were out

and just reading the reviews,

Bane's new record "Give

Blood," five stars.

To me that's like, you know,

that's Bane fully realized.

When that record came

out, it was just like,

that's, you know, they

kind of set a bar.

"Give Blood," kicks

off with "Speechless,"

and I think stays pretty

spirited throughout,

it's just like, fuck,

being in a band is ill,

like, being on tour

is cool, you know,

Ante Up is about that,

"Ali vs Frazier."

Literally everything I've

ever done was kind of based of

Give more, give

everything, give Blood.

For some reason, me

of like all the lyrics

that Aaron wrote,

if I wasn't in the band,

that would be the part

I always tackle him

and grab the microphone.

♪ Give more ♪

♪ Give everything ♪

♪ Give blood ♪

To me that was

like the first time,

the recording like, really

captured their whole vibe.

I think that era, we were

all kind of growing together.

Like, they were really like,

coming into their own as

song writers and musicians,

and I had come a long way as

an engineer and a producer.

That record has so much

energy and character,

and was a really special,

special experience for me.

And we toured

on that for years,

before we even thought

about doing the next record.

We were on a Hatebreed

tour with Poison the Well,

and What Feeds The Fire.

That was like a monster tour.

Was kind of a rough start,

we got stuck in snow storms,

our van got broken into,

and then we got to California,

and it was amazing,

and like everything

started to fall into place,

and the show was

really just crazy.

And we were heading back home.

We're in Oklahoma,

and in the middle of the night,

the phone rings, and

you all kind of know.

We all wake and, and we're

like, "That's not good."

It was the weirdest

thing, I was like, "Hello?"

"Pete, it's Jeremy."

I'm like "Oh, hi, whats up?"

And he's like, "Steve died.

"There was an accident

and Steve died."

Zach and I had been

in a band with Steve,

Ink Cartridge Funeral.

And then I was in a band

called Barrit with him,

that he sang for.

And I've been friends with

him since I was 14 years old.

Eric was driving the car.

He said he swerved

out of control,

and Steven's head hit a pole,

and he didn't make it.

I just couldn't...

It's just not real,

it's still not real.

I just kept saying, "What?

"What are you talking about?"

I handed the phone to Zach.

And I said, "You need

to talk with Jeremy."

And he just took it and,

we just packed up all of our

stuff like, that instant,

and started driving home.

I didn't grow up with

Steve, I liked Steve a lot,

but I was in a van with kids

who had known him since

elementary school.

Who were his best friends.

I literally don't

think that anyone spoke,

and it was just, you know,

30-hour drive or whatever.

I never again, and never in

my life up to that point,

woke up and been like,

I think that was just a dream.

I thank God it was like

some terrible nightmare.

And then I'd be

like, "Where am I?"

And then, you know, it

all happens in one second.

And it's not a nightmare,

it's absolutely real,

and

it's been real ever

since it happened.

If I didn't have my friends,

and if I didn't have Bane,

I don't think I...

I don't think I would've

made it through that.

We were in Ink Cartridge

Funeral with Steve,

that wasn't gonna

continue without him.

Me, Nick Branigan,

Nick Van Someren,

who was our guitar player

in Ink Cartridge Funeral,

then Peter Chilton,

who we all just

started this band.

The name "Silent

Drive" just came from

how quiet that ride

home from that tour was.

I think after that

he had a lot to say

and a lot to write about.

I think he wanted to produce

something as like a tribute.

A lot of that record is

written about Steve and...

It's one of the most emotional

things I've had to write.

♪ Off of faces ♪

♪ watching all of

these times changing ♪

♪ The tears make

mud on the ground ♪

♪ Kick them and think ♪

♪ It could've been different ♪

♪ This 4 16 you

will hardly smile ♪

People say when

you lose a friend,

or when you lose anybody,

that it gets easier

over time, you know,

the pain will go

away, whatever it is,

and maybe that's

true in some cases,

but not this one.

Right after Chicago

was Louisville.

The last time we were there,

the circumstances

were so strange,

and that we played Krazy Fest,

like this outdoor

stage with a barrier,

that was very sort of awkward.

And we played a house

show that was amazing,

and then we played a strip club.

Fantasy's Island strip club,

which is an infamous Dane show,

and it was just

an amazing night.

Most nights of this

tour have been surprising

as far as the number

of kids coming out,

even in places that we wouldn't

rightfully expect that.

It sure felt good to play

to a full room last night

and Team Skylar was in the

house, that was real special.

Skylar was diagnosed with

acute lymphoblastic leukemia.

It's blood cancer, she was

diagnosed when she was four.

I just decided to

make a stupid t-shirt,

and put it up on march swap,

sold over 60 t-shirts

in under 24 hours.

And after I saw

that, I decided hey,

"You know I've been

booking years for 15 years,

"why not just start

emailing booking agents?"

We've been raising money for

Riley children's

hospital in Indianapolis.

And all the funds that we raise,

go directly to their research

for oncology for the kids.

My first experience

with Team Skylar

was actually on The

Life & Death Tour,

I didn't know he was a

Bane fan at the time,

I just saw the

table and went over

and started talking to him.

Zach gave me his number,

and since then we've

been in contact.

She's a five year old that

changed my life, really quick.

She's going through the

hardest time in the world,

and she makes me smile so much.

She really changed

my outlook on life.

So Skylar is gonna be

very mad at me right now,

because I think she's a

little scared to stage dive.

So we will gently

stage dive her,

we're gonna do it on the

count of three, are you ready?

One, two, three.

Okay, bring her back, bring

her back, bring her back.

Yeah, Skylar!

Thank God, on her way back

she was smiling like crazy.

I can't really think

of any other times

when someone that

young gets to come out

and experience

something like that.

Everybody give it

up for Team Skylar.

To see the compassion

that those people

have for Skylar,

the fun that Bane was

able to give that family,

the amazing memories those

kids were able to earn tonight,

it's pretty much what made

tonight as special as it was.

I like it when a hardcore show

doesn't have such a macho vibe.

I don't think that Bane runs

into that problem much anyway,

but it's just nice that

it's the complete opposite,

like an actual

like, family event,

which is like, it's

a fun change of pace.

One day, I hope that they

look back at these moments

and realize how incredibly

special they are,

to be involved in such

a beautiful scene.

This is a band

that will always be

a very important

part of my life.

And for me to be on this

last tour with them,

I'm never gonna forget it.

We were doing a lot of touring

when we found out we

were having Scout.

And I wanted to come

up with a way to have

the years that I was gone,

the first two years

of his life almost.

To have something that hopefully

he can go back and be like,

"Oh, this is where dad was."

Ever since he was born,

I have worn one of these

shirts, every single show.

Early on, Aaron Bedard and I,

we were having a

heart-to-heart talk,

and I remember

Aaron saying to me,

"Man, I really hope that

Bane can really pull together

and tour as, and play shows

as much as Trial does."

I wish I had the foresight to

have said to him, you know,

"You go out for six weeks

once a year, you can do this."

Little did I know,

they were gonna go

out every six weeks...

Every six weeks for

20 years, right?

But I remember in that moment,

just sensing how much

Aaron wanted this to work.

It takes a really special

sort of breed of person

to thrive in that environment,

to be completely content,

completely happy,

and to be able to sort of see it

almost as a gift at

the end of the day,

you get this intense

experience in a room

full of like-minded kids

who've come up with the

same feeling in their heart

over this music and this energy

and this message and

that you end your day

together, screaming

and sweating,

and then you rinse, repeat,

do it again in some other town.

I know, I'm kind of made to

be on the road, I feel like,

because I never got sick of it.

A lot of people get to

that three week mark,

and they're like,

"I'm fucking done."

If they ever got hard for me,

it was

at home situations that

you can't be home for.

We've had grand parents

pass away on the tour,

friends pass away.

That's the hardest because

you're so far away from home,

that you feel helpless,

'cause you can't get

there fast enough.

Well, we're on the side

of the highway right now,

and our fucking

trailer just broke,

over the ball bearing

or whatever on,

it just smashed so, we're

waiting to get to the show now.

It's difficult

touring on the level

that a hardcore band tours

on, which is in a van.

You sit for six to

eight hours a day.

You sleep where you end up

sleeping, if you end up sleeping.

For someone like me, you

get drunk way too much.

You eat shitty.

And that repeats day

in and day out for,

you know, 30 days

on an average tour.

And that's not for everybody.

In reality is like

you're living with

four or five of your

brothers, or siblings,

in a one room apartment.

I mean there's been

times where we've almost

gotten in fist fights

with each other, you know,

but it's also the

best thing ever.

Sometimes you just stop.

Sometimes you just

stop feeling it.

And sometimes you just

don't know what to do,

or how to process it.

That's exactly what

happened to me.

The touring juggernaut of

Bane was never gonna stop.

I was feeling uncomfortable

with how much time

and energy and identity

Bane was taking up for me.

I felt creatively especially,

I was changing,

and Bane wasn't going to allow

that much of me to unfold.

And it hit me really hard

at like an inopportune,

very strange time.

It was harder on

him than I realized.

We were in Montreal, we

were on a tour with Terror,

and Most Precious Blood.

June of 2003.

We were just about to go on,

and Nick was like, "I

need to talk to you guys."

Whenever a band member

calls for a band meeting,

it's never ever a good thing.

Like it's never like, "I

won the fucking lottery."

He immediately

kind of broke down.

"I love you guys, but this

isn't what I want to do anymore.

"I'm not 100% into it."

I think that was really hard

for him, cause at the time,

we were all young,

we were having fun,

and you know, we were living

the hardcore dream life.

He was the first

member to sort of buckle,

and that was scary.

We were all shocked

by what happened.

I went like, "I can't believe

I just fucking did that,"

and they were like,

"I can't fucking believe

you just did that,"

and it was a mess.

It was at a time,

where it felt like things

were really getting moving,

and we were really sort

of getting comfortable

of being a bigger band

who could headline tours

pretty much anywhere.

After we played and I was

sitting outside with Pete,

and I was just

like, "Is this it?

"Are we gonna be done?"

I was nervous, because I

really got along with Nick.

You know, he's one of the

funniest people I know.

Him leaving was like

really hard for me.

Nick is "Give Blood," Nick

is "Can We Start Again,"

Nick was there for kind of

the main growing of the band.

I couldn't see past

his drumming style,

I couldn't see that

we would survive it.

We just couldn't imagine not

being on the road with him.

More importantly,

I think we couldn't imagine

not writing with him.

We were kind of in

limbo for a while,

trying to figure out

what we were gonna do.

Bedard was like,

"We don't need to break

up because of this,"

and we were all kinda like,

"Yeah, like, but who?"

That's when Bobby came in.

Just a positive dude,

I mean, they couldn't have

gotten a better person

to fit in after Nick left.

Matt Pike was booking

both Reach the Sky,

and booking Bane.

Reach the Sky ended

in February of '03,

I think it was Matt

that actually suggested,

"You know, hey, why don't

you give Bob a call."

We knew he was kind of

wild, but that he loved Bane,

and that the most important

thing, is he knew the road.

He was gonna be able to jump in

and keep the pace that

we were trying to keep.

He came to practice,

and I'm always like dreading

that a drummer is gonna show up

and just not gonna

know the half the song,

and I'm gonna have to

sit there and like,

"Oh, then it goes

like this, okay yeah,

"and then it goes like this."

That's like my nightmare,

cause I'm lazy, you know.

I'm very picky about

who I'm gonna vibe with,

who I'm gonna feel comfortable

writing with especially.

First practice I remember

banging out like three songs

in a row, pretty easily.

He knew everything.

The big difference between

Bob and Nick playing drums,

is Nick is definitely

a jazzier drummer.

Just the most unique

drum style seriously

not like anyone

else in hardcore.

And Bob is like a much

more straight forward,

heavy-hitting drummer.

I remember all

looking around the room,

being like, "Okay, well

we got this part down."

This is it, this

is our new drummer.

Man, you've been

digging in the trash,

your lips are all white.

You can get a 20 out of

some poor bustard there.

We were a lucky band,

we had this kind of

dedicated fan base

that would follow

us a little longer

than maybe they should have,

when it came to, not

having new material.

Writing records

for us wasn't hard,

but it was always

easier to tour.

We toured, basically

from 2003 to 2007.

We would, literally

starting to feel

people's attention

starting to waiver,

and realized, "Well

fucking of course,

"we haven't put out a

record in this long.

"We gotta write a record."

That was what spurred The Note.

♪ Today won't be

like yesterday ♪

The guys were a lot more

involved in the recording process

than they had been

with "Give Blood."

How do I top a record

like "Give Blood?"

That was on the back of my mind.

A lot of that

record was written

from a pretty brave place of

knowing that kids liked us,

and that we had been successful

as far as the

things we stood for,

the things we had

been outspoken about.

So, there are two songs on it,

one, "End With An Ellipsis"

and "Swan Song," which

talks a little bit about

having to come to

terms with this ending.

♪ I'll never love

anything else ♪

♪ The way that I loved this ♪

Nick had left, Zack was married,

I think Bobby was either

about to have a child,

or maybe he had

already had a child,

Aaron Dalbec was married.

I was living in Baltimore.

I was starting to feel like

life could start to get

in the way a little bit.

We were throwing out ideas

for the name of that record.

Pete and I had sort of

been cultivating this idea of

using a comic book artist

and it had to be this

real visual thing.

That record got named based on

the story that we came

up with for the layout.

The note was about this

guy who finds this note,

and what is in this

note drives him crazy,

and then because of that, all

of these events take place.

A lot of the kids were like,

"The fuck is that

goddamn layout about?

"I don't even get it."

And were like, "How

do you not get it?

"It makes perfect sense."

But that's because we

know what the note said.

And we don't ever tell

anybody in that layout

what the note says.

They changed the lives

people for the better.

They helped a lot of people

through some really dark times.

And they've been this life

raft for a number of people.

This is why we

listen to this music,

'cause it takes us through

what makes us think,

"Fuck man, this world

is so goddamn cynical,"

and it makes it a

beautiful place again.

And at one point or another,

nothing lasts forever.

You have bandmates, and then

you have like, best friends,

and Pete is one of

my best friends.

He gave Bane the bass sound that

a lot of hardcore

bands don't have.

Pete is very level-headed,

so, if there were ever

times where I felt like,

we maybe losing it,

Pete was there to

kind of make sure

that we held it together.

We toured a lot.

Basically I started getting

burnt out a little bit.

I had gotten married.

I had been in Bane since

I had known my wife,

so, it was always part of

what I did, like as a job.

But I was burnt out,

just like, looking for part

time work over and over again.

I had bought a

house and you know,

you start to be a

little bit of an adult,

and worry about money

and things like that.

So, in 2007 I told

them that I was

gonna take a teaching position.

And that's when Stu came in.

I was in Reach the Sky.

So, we played a lot

of shows together,

and did a couple of tours.

Bob and I's relationship

goes back to high school.

There's a friendship and

bond between him and I,

that I don't have with really

anybody else in the band.

August of 2008, Bob called me

and was looking for someone to

go to Canada for three weeks.

My wife was six months pregnant,

she was cool with it, so I went.

We practiced once.

My first show with the band,

was at a Skate Park in Syracuse.

We got there at about nine

and we were supposed

to play at 9:30.

So we just kinda went in,

threw all our stuff up,

threw merch out,

got on the stage,

Bedard handed me a set list,

and it didn't have the full

names of the songs on it.

I was looking at

it, and I was going,

"Holy shit."

I don't know if,

do I know, okay.

As soon as the

first song started

we all started going crazy,

and kids went crazy

and everything.

Next thing I know, it

was over, and I was like,

"Oh, alright, that

was cool."

He was only supposed to do

half a tour and then fly home.

And then the first

half was done,

he called his

wife, and was like,

Hey, I know we're

moving, but you know,

we hired movers, do

you think I can stay?

Then she said sure.

It was so nice

having him in the band,

because we had somebody

else to step up and do

decision making kind of stuff.

Getting in the van with

them, was kinda like,

it felt like going home.

You know what I mean, it

was really comfortable.

The first year,

it wasn't that hard,

and it didn't bother

me that much at all,

but when they started

going new places,

like South America, and

the Philippines, and China,

and Russia, and all

these other places,

I was like, oh.

I've always been

impressed with

you know, they were like,

kind of the older dudes,

but they're so supportive

of all the younger bands

around and on tour.

They would always

have fill-in members

from other bands as

well, younger guys.

Nate, from Cruel Hand

and Outbreak was

playing drums for us

for a little bit when

Bob couldn't tour.

Probably for a few years,

I don't know how many tours,

a lot of tours.

All over the world, and the U.S.

Cruel Hand, where I played

guitar in, would tour with them,

and then I'd end up

filling in on guitar.

I think that's

always important.

That's something that

we've learned as well,

like, we always want to

tour with younger bands,

and just be in the mix

with that, like it's fun.

They hit me up.

I was exceptionally

less expensive

than some of their

other options.

Jay was like the

new guy in town,

Jay had done some recordings

that we really liked.

We had these six songs.

But we didn't want to just

put an E.P out on one label.

I got a text message

and it was just like,

"Hey, this is Bedard from Bane,

"would you be

interested in doing

"a three song Bane seven inch?"

What, like, of

course, like what?

Didn't think it was a

reality at all, but we did.

I think it was seven

different releases,

on five different labels.

Every cover of the seven

inch was gonna be different.

Let's have photographers

take a picture,

same time, different

parts of the world.

And that's gonna be the cover,

and the inserts of

these seven inches.

Boston, Dublin,

Tokyo, Perth, LA, Rome,

and I don't know how to

pronounce the one from Brazil.

You know like that was like,

what they were trying to

say to everybody, you know,

Bane is world wide, like

everybody is part of us.

I remember hitting

up Bedard like,

"Yo man, why are these songs

named after like, soap operas?"

The first song was "The

Bold and the Beautiful."

Which was just named that

'cause I thought

it was a cool name.

And the next song I

wrote, I realized,

I can name this a

soap opera name too.

So, here's what I'm gonna do,

I'm gonna write down

every soap opera name,

and then I'm gonna

just write these songs,

and then just draw

lines to them,

to the ones that

seemed to relate.

And it was really an exercise

of not having to come

up with names for songs,

'cause I'm bad at that.

That's the actual truth there.

There are some great songs

on those that didn't get...

Didn't seem to get

much play at the end.

I forget which one is the

dragon song as I know it.

I will believe in dragons,

as long as I run with dragons.

♪ I will believe in dragons ♪

♪ For as long as I

run with dragons ♪

A lot about friendship

and stuff and like

here's what I will always

carry with me, right?

And that's some...

Those are end notes

kind of stuff.

♪ I took the whole damn ride ♪

♪ With my best

friends by my side ♪

♪ And the days turned

into nights and we ♪

♪ Held on with all our might ♪

We tried to do it

in every continent.

Just so it would get out there.

But it just didn't,

it didn't take like we

thought it was gonna.

I think just 'cause of the

way that we released it,

there wasn't any hype around it.

I just think it became

more of a collectors item,

than a listening item.

It was like, it was gonna

be the fucking Wonka bar,

or like a revolutionary

thing but,

no, we're not the

Rolling Stones.

Stu had found he was

expecting his second child.

At that point real

life had really kicked in

and took over.

I left at the end of 2012.

Chris Linkovich

from Cruel Hand,

jumps in and starts

playing bass.

Probably 2013, things were

going good for the band,

but it wasn't like the

same as it had been.

We played a show at the

Palladium in Worcester,

which is a place we've

had some banging shows,

maybe a 150 kids come

out, and it feels like

things are coming

to an end for us.

Personally, like

relationships started

to crumble too,

around that time.

I'm in my 40's, physically

it's getting harder.

We actually decided

to have a meeting,

where we were all

gonna get together,

and have a sit down

and decide what we

were going to do next.

I remember having real

sort of nervous feeling

in the pit of my stomach.

Some people in the band

wanted to go full-time,

or not at all.

We decided then that we

would write our last record,

and we made a bucket list

of all the stuff that

we've wanted to do.

It's admirable to choose

when you want to stop,

and not drive something

into the ground.

But it's just

like, like anything

like a death in the family that

you see coming or whatever,

it's just like,

once it's real, there's

definitely that sadness to it.

Link, had Cruel

Hand obligations,

so he wasn't a part

of writing the record,

or recording the record.

We fooled around

with the idea of

you know, me or Dalbec

playing bass on the record,

cause we didn't know if

Pete was gonna want to write

or be on it.

And I was like,

"Let's just ask him."

And I was like,

"Yeah, of course."

I could really hear

my sort of bass style

like, really fit well with

the newer stuff that

they were writing,

so, I was excited.

We were rehearsing

once a week, every week,

which was exactly how

we did "Give Blood."

And there was just a real

sense of, this is it.

This is the last time were

gonna be doing things like this.

That was the very beginning

of that sensation,

which would become so familiar

for the next two years.

This is the funniest

booking of my life,

Defeater and Bane were

playing This Is Hardcore 2013,

I was hammered, day

drunk, walking around,

just, like, having a good

time, bumped into Zach.

"Hey, we wanna do our last L.P."

"Oh, wow, that's exciting."

"Yeah, so when are you free?"

"Oh. Uh."

Pulled out my phone, I was like,

"Well I've got this month."

"Okay, cool, like

book it, how much?"

I came up with a price,

thought it was very fair,

he was like, "Awesome,

I'm excited."

"Yeah, yeah, I'm excited too."

And then, just walked away,

and was just like,

"I think I just booked

Bane's last L.P?"

One of the most meaningful

and easiest bookings

of my entire career.

We were off the

road for a while,

so, we were all

working full-time,

it was the winter,

so cold, late nights, in a

cold dank practice space.

Writing-wise it

was right at a time

where like the band

was at its lowest.

We had to go do one

tour in the autumn,

we had to go back to

Europe with Power Trip.

It was some of the worst

shows we had ever played.

Like, it was like

kids were over it.

Like you could really

feel the death rattle.

I remember having

a talk with Bedard,

I was like, "Dude If

you're gonna go out,

"go out, go out hard, like

put everything out there."

If you're gonna say things,

you've gotta say them now.

There's no telling that

you're ever gonna have this

captive of an audience again.

Songs like "Final Backward

Glance" were born of that and,

you know, the big one,

was "Wrong Planet."

Every demon you thought

was released on paper,

but the biggest one was

still caged up up until

literally the second to last

song ever written by that band.

There was a voice in my

head saying maybe talk about

being sexually abused as a kid,

maybe you talk about the thing

that you can't talk

about with anyone.

That song is called

"Wrong planet."

Maybe the hardest song

I've ever had to write.

It's about the incredible,

the insane amount of destruction

that can be reigned upon

us, when we're children,

and don't understand anything

and don't understand what

the fuck is going on,

by people who are supposed

to be looking out for us.

And it took me a lot, a

lot of years to realize

the lasting damage that it does.

That it echoes in you, all the

way through your adulthood.

That was really

confessing some stuff

and really bearing myself

in a way that it was scary

and that people are

never going to look at me

the same way again, you

know, people are gonna have,

you know, they're

gonna come up with

a lot of different

notions about me now.

You know, I was at the age

where I didn't need to fit in,

and I didn't really care

about people snickering

behind my back,

or what weird jokes

people were gonna make,

or whatever, you

know I didn't...

That stuff wasn't gonna

affect me the way it may have,

even 10 years before,

never mind 20.

I never told anyone in Bane

that I had gone

through that as a boy.

It was very seldom

that they would say,

"Oh, you know can I

read what you wrote?"

But this was different,

this I needed to warn them

and to make sure that there

wasn't gonna be a member

who would feel

maybe uncomfortable

about singing about

something so personal.

He had written the lyrics out,

I remember when he was

like handing it around,

that his hand was like shaking.

You could tell he was nervous,

and that's weird, to see

Aaron Bedard nervous.

I think there's

really not much that

we don't know about each

other, and you know.

For that to come out 15 plus

years later, it's like, woah.

Obviously everyone

was very supportive

and very proud of me,

and very sad for me.

If those lyrics

changed, or help,

not even change, but

like help one person cope

with something like that then,

that's all that matters.

♪ And if you look ♪

♪ You can see me ♪

♪ Grasping for a world ♪

♪ That makes some sense ♪

♪ Where through the dark ♪

♪ There waits the light ♪

That's one of those songs,

that when they played that,

like, it was hard not to cry.

And watching, just through

this glass right here.

Watching Aaron sing that

and know what it's about,

and being able to relate myself.

Like everything he's saying,

I mean that's like,

from my life too.

Once the song was done,

and we fit it to music,

things...

Everything after

that felt easier.

The fact that he put pen to

paper and he just let it out,

like, I know that

feeling of relief,

and I can't imagine

how relieved he felt

once that song was written.

And then there

was "Calling Hours."

"Calling Hours" was

really like, Zach's baby.

He wanted to bring in

some other energies vocally,

That is very common in hardcore,

to do something that

we had never done.

So, he told me he

wanted to have Dave,

and Walter, and Reba on it.

And said like "Hey, I would

love to have you on this."

I was like, "that's totally

incredible and awesome."

And then he said,

"I want you folks to like,

write your own lyrics."

You put me on a track

with those people,

I'm just like, "Fuck man,"

and I gotta write my

own fucking lines?

Great, pressure's on.

Now we have to

write this song.

Now we have to figure

out how to do this.

Zack hadn't really

written his song yet.

You know, his farewell to Bane.

That song was so sad

that I didn't think it

was gonna be a Bane song

when I originally wrote

the guitar parts to it.

I was scared, I was like,

"This is probably

too emotional for us

"and too slow, and whatever."

Should this be the song

that we have all these sort of

hardcore super

stars be a guest on,

this very sort of

unconventional hardcore song?

I don't think that the

other vocalists in that song

expected that kind of

song to come their way.

Pat would come by,

and he had mentioned

that he wanted to work

with us on a song.

This is a really cool chance

for us to have a new voice,

in to our little circle.

They would decide to

announce they were breaking up

before the record came out.

If that was public knowledge,

and it's such a

structured public death,

than why not maybe have a song

that is kind of like an actual

"Calling Hours", like a wake?

Wally and Pat

are great friends,

we've been great

friends for years.

And David Wood from

Down to Nothing and I are

really, really good friends.

I'll give him the verse with me,

and Zach would handle

the end with Reba.

So, everyone is sort of

paired off with a partner

and all set out to do

our respective parts.

I didn't like the thought of

me having to write something

about letting someone go,

when the whole time,

this band has told you to

hold on to everything

as long as you can.

It wasn't that I was sad to

let go, I was more angry.

'Cause it's easier to be angry

than to be sad and understand

why people have to go.

♪ You told me to

give everything ♪

♪ And now your tired ♪

♪ Well let's get loud ♪

♪ And go out with open fire ♪

Bane always took me

to hard and dark places

in my life that I

think human beings

need to go to, to like confront.

I decided to kind of confront

some issues in my own life

with the loss of my father.

♪ Are our fathers

forever still ♪

♪ Will our mothers only weep ♪

♪ Does the dream of yesterday ♪

♪ Come true from a prayer ♪

♪ On our knees ♪

Bedard had sent me

the lyrics to the song

and I kinda tried to

really get into his head

and understand

what it was about.

And then just kind of tried

to see through his eyes

and write what I

would think, you know,

would be like my way of

looking at what he was saying.

When those do pass, or

that band does break up

or whatever, you've

learned so much from them,

it's like they

never really leave,

and you always

have them with you.

That was really cool

for me to be able

to be part of that

song for that reason.

We were in the studio,

songs were written,

lyrics were done for other songs

and this song was

still being created.

At some points it was like,

"This is just gonna fall apart."

Wally had to do his

part in California,

Reba had to do her

part in Pittsburgh,

David did his part

down in Richmond.

Reba's part, was the last part.

That was a huge day,

we really felt like

you know, that was

the record being done

was when "Calling Hours"

finally came together

after weeks and

weeks of tweaking it,

and waiting for other

people to come through.

And they all did,

everyone came through.

When we play it live,

it's just as emotional as

when I sat there and wrote it.

♪ Forget the who, the what,

the when, the where, the why ♪

♪ Deep down inside

I know I tried ♪

♪ Did you love something ♪

♪ With all of your might ♪

One of the

proudest moments was

the end result of

"Don't Wait Up."

The pressure we put

on ourselves to make

what we knew was our final

record, amplified it.

It was really

meaningful to me,

to be able to be a part of that.

And, like having actually

exceptionally intelligent,

well educated conversations,

about a hardcore record.

About like, making a hardcore

record the best it can be,

and like really sealing

off this legacy.

Dan McCarthy is

the guy that drew the

cover of "Don't Wait Up."

I think it's perfect.

We wanted a sad feeling,

that's what we got.

This is "Don't Wait Up"

'cause we're not coming home.

♪ This is my final ♪

♪ Backward glance ♪

When "Don't Wait Up" came out,

it was number 86 on

billboard top 200,

and number 17 on Independent

Albums, the first week.

That's pretty amazing

to have a record plaque,

saying you were in

the Billboard Top 200.

If it was like 30 years ago,

we'd be in my mansion right now.

But since kids don't

buy records anymore,

we're in my two

bed room apartment.

So we recorded

"Don't Wait Up,"

knowing that Pete was never

going to tour with us.

And thank God, we got

James Siboni who...

James was in a band

called Casey Jones,

and we had toured with

them over in Europe.

Young, talented, down to

earth, funny, loved to hang,

great stage presence,

solid bass player.

As a drummer, you always look

for that solid rhythm section.

You know, I say that everyone

is like the sweetest guy,

but James is like,

really the sweetest

guy in the whole world.

Zack had posted

something on Instagram,

or I guess probably Facebook.

That they were doing

some East Coast shows.

I thought, cool, I'm gonna

ask if I can roll with them,

and just hangout in the van,

and do merch, whatever they

need me to do, just hanging out.

So, I texted Bedard and I said,

"Yo, I'm gonna try

and roll with you guys

"to those east coast dates."

He said, "So, what's up man?

"Hows life?"

I thought that was the

strangest text message.

And I said, "I don't

know man, life's fine."

You know, I'm like, "I got

this girl, and this house."

"I don't want to fuck up the

things that you have going on,

"but I just wanted

you to know that

"you are on the short list."

"What the fuck are

you talking about?

"The short list for what?"

Well, "Bane needs

a new bass player."

"Yo, motherfucker,

keep me on that list!

"I wanna be on that list!"

"If you want it,

you can have it,

"I'm placing this in your lap.

"I'm throwing the list

away, if you want this gig.

"It sounds like life

is so good right now,

"I don't wanna mess that up."

"Let me be the judge of

that, I want to join Bane!"

He said "I don't know man.

"I want you to think about it,

I want you to think about it

like a week or something."

This is all via text, this

isn't even a phone call.

It's like a text, and I'm like,

kind of like, losing my mind.

"I don't need to think

about it for a week Bedard!

"I'm telling you yes right now!"

And he said, "No, no, no, no.

"Think about it for a week."

And I said, "okay."

That week, I just started

learning Bane songs.

I just was like,

I'm doing this now,

and there's no turning back,

I don't care what they say.

And then a week goes

by, and he texts me,

and he says "So,

what did you decide?"

And I was like, "I'm down!"

And he said, "Aw,

I thank God, dude.

"That's what I've been

stressing out about it!

"I've been wondering,

are you gonna be down?"

I was like, "I'm so happy to

hear you say you're down!"

And I was like, "It

was never an issue.

"I didn't think about it."

And I said yeah, and

I learned these songs.

And he said, "Oh shit, perfect."

I joined Bane in 2014.

I did everything

for "Don't wait Up."

We went to Japan, to Australia,

to Europe, I think two

or maybe three times.

Did a U.S release of it,

a few fests here and

there, of another tour,

and then the final tour

so, I did a good amount.

We had a really

busy last few years.

Yesterday in

Baltimore, it was like,

"Okay, I'm gonna book

these hotels for Philly."

And then it was like,

"These are the last

hotels I'm ever booking,

"for Bane to sleep ever."

For some reason that

hit me really hard.

It became a reality

just by some little stupid

thing like that, you know.

Like, really feeling

like the end is coming.

And I'm scared of it, but,

I've been preparing myself

for a long time now, so.

It's the second and third

to last shows of this tour,

in Philly, at the

Unitarian Church.

That's a special room for us.

That church, we've been

going to that church

for a lot of years.

It is a Unitarian church,

so, there's no

Jesus and disciples,

but like, for our scene,

it's Mecca, it's our place.

Philly has almost

been Bane's second home

but, it's almost felt

like Bane's first home

for the last five

years especially.

Philadelphia, we're Bane,

let's fucking do this.

I decided to crowd walk,

I guess you could say,

and then there was a giant

fall where I fell backwards,

and I specifically remember

while I was falling, going,

"Wow, this is a long

fall, this is gonna hurt,"

and then I landed on

the edge of the monitor.

But it didn't seem

to hurt at the time,

but it hurts really bad now.

Everybody's eyes and

heart were on that stage,

and that was something special.

Whenever the crowd

connects to us,

and we connect to the crowd,

it's like, the

most special to me.

And last night it had

a lot of those moments.

♪ When Armageddon's ♪

♪ Been locked and loaded ♪

♪ I will come back for you ♪

♪ I will come back for you ♪

So, we are at the last

Philadelphia Bane appearance.

So, for me tonight, I

say goodbye to friends.

I say to guys who

came into this,

like, "Oh, this is Joe and

he's a little fucking crazy,"

and now we're friends,

we get excited,

they know the hijinx, we

set up for their shows.

We look forward to these

specific shows because,

these guys played many shows,

they've fucking, toured

the goddamned world,

they've probably played in

canoes off of Maui somewhere.

But Philadelphia is

special for them,

and Bane is special for me,

and I don't know if

I have another band,

despite the 20 years

of me booking shows,

despite the 10 years

of this is hardcore,

I don't have another fucking

band to look forward to

like I do with

Bane, and I'm sad.

That's it, I love you guys.

Our relationship with

this city would not exist

if it wasn't for his hard work,

this first song is

dedicated to Joe.

It's called "Superhero."

All the friends

that we have there,

and the friends that came

down from Massachusetts.

Everybody wanted to be there,

but for me, it was like

everybody needed to be there,

you know.

Almost like, I need

their support system

at the end of this run.

3/4 of the members that

had ever been in Bane

were there last night.

Our original bass

player, Pete Chilton,

and then the dude that took

his place, Stu was there,

they all got up and played

songs over the weekend.

♪ This is the final ♪

♪ Backward glance ♪

♪ This is the final ♪

♪ Backward glance ♪

I kinda had to recognize

for the first time,

that this is the end of Bane.

Really put some

things together that

I didn't wanna come

face to face with,

and it's...

It's weird.

I think that was

the hardest show

of the whole tour for me.

Our friend, Justin

Naidoo was right up front

the whole time singing,

and for some reason that,

that got me on the last song.

I Kinda broke down on stage but,

it's a good thing I can

say I'm glad we're sad

instead of happy to be done.

Philadelphia.

Thank you, thank you.

We have been Bane.

And here we are,

two years later,

that went by in a

blink of an eye.

I never ever had time

to get that strong,

to get that brave.

Even when I crawled in the

van back at the end of march

to do this tour, I thought

it would eventually kick in,

it would eventually hit

me that this is really it.

We're at Webster hall,

at the final show of the

final, final, final,

final Bane tour.

It's pretty surreal to

finally be at the end.

Checked out of a hotel this

morning, something we've done

thousands and

thousands of times,

and we will never do it under

those circumstances again,

you know, it will

never be us guys,

and that's fucking

me up a little bit.

I was parking the

van before the show,

when we had to move

the van and I like,

slightly bumped this other car,

and like the cops came

and all this stuff.

And we we're going

on like 20 minutes.

Big Bob comes running by,

and hands me my

keys, and was like,

"You gotta go to the show

now, I'll figure this out,"

and I was like, "Why the

fuck do you have my keys?"

And then it clicked,

holy shit, Jennifer

is here with Scout.

I mean it was such

an amazing surprise,

I mean it was only

like 4 and a 1/2 weeks,

or whatever it was,

but it seemed like

an eternity at the same time.

Standing inside Webster Hall,

and I just like, look

out at this empty hall,

and then my friend Ricky

from Backtrack comes up,

and were just kind of talking

and shooting the shit,

then I hear this, what I thought

was an asshole whistling.

I gave him a big whistle,

and he didn't catch it at first

and then I whistled again,

and then he turned

and looked at me.

I was just like,

"That's my dad,"

like, "Oh my God."

He didn't know I was coming.

I just went up and hugged

and started crying immediately.

He was at my first show

ever, so he felt like

he just kinda had to

be at my last show.

So, in those moments

you like, you know,

when you're so sad,

and like kind of just

confused in life,

and it's like you want your

dad or your mom to be there,

and for me to just turn

around and all of a sudden

have him be there was,

insanely special to me.

Trying to be in the moment,

trying to be present for this,

trying not to let the emotions

what, you know, tear me apart.

This is a heavy night but

we wanna try and make it fun,

we want everyone to come

in here, sing dance,

get loose with us, let's

just turn this into a party

and we will mourn later.

Thank you very, very, very

much for being here tonight.

This first song is

called "Speechless."

♪ Fuck yeah I am

still holding on ♪

I'm a little bent out of

shape at them, you know,

I don't want them to go away,

I mean, I get it, 20

years is a long time,

and there's only so

long you can do this.

I wish I had some

sort of profound

or articulate things to say

about dealing with endings,

dealing with change,

dealing with saying goodbye.

I really know that I should

be better at that stuff,

and I'm not, I have

a lot of problems

when it comes to

change or letting go

of the things I love the most.

And I've never

loved anything else,

there's nothing

in my life I loved

as much as being in this band.

New York city,

let's go.

♪ I can still see the reasons ♪

♪ That I opened my eye to this

scene in the first place ♪

♪ I can feel my beliefs

growing stronger ♪

♪ Stronger everyday ♪

New York, thank

you so fucking much.

When you start a band,

at first it's a very

fun, and almost organic.

Like, you write these songs,

you don't really

care about structure,

and then through time

you kinda see yourself

become musicians somehow.

Not on purpose but just

'cause you just wanna

be a better version of yourself,

so, you do that with your band.

It's something you

fall in love with.

Love becomes this

infatuation with your band,

and then you become

addicted to it.

This isn't necessarily

a relationship

with the people in your band,

this is a relationship with

the energy and the time

and the sacrifices you made.

I go back and

forth between regret,

like, sort of wishing that we

had made a different decision

so that we could

still be a band.

I was woefully unprepared

for how hard it was gonna be

to have that sense

of purpose lifted.

I think when the band

decided to break up,

it felt right probably.

And then as time went on,

and we really, really

were so connected,

and everyone was

on the same page,

and the shows leading up

to the end were so good,

and the response to the

final record was good,

I think that it was

just kind of a mistake,

I really do, I honestly

think that Bane breaking up

when we did was a mistake.

I go up there and give it

my all with four other people

that give it their

all, every single night

and

I'm real worried

that I'm never gonna

find that again.

I can't really even remember

what my relationship was

to the world, and my free time,

and sort of my sense of place

in the world before Bane.

Bane has been my life for

21 years, you know like,

it's been all I've known really.

I mean, it's the only

constant that I've had.

I wish I could

write two more years,

I wish we would have wrote a

longer story for an ending,

'cause this ending sucks.

Years ago when we said

well be done, you know,

approximately this time,

it seemed forever away.

We were like, "Yeah, it's in

three years, two, three years.

"That's a long time."

We're here

Masterman's, this

is kind of the team

that's been behind a lot of

the Bane screen printing.

I used to do a lot

of this for Bane

out of my dad's garage,

and it would take

me forever to do it.

This is actually the final shirt

that they're doing right now.

It's exclusive to

the final show.

We're the worst band in

the world to work with

as far as getting everything

to them the last minute,

so, I think I've got

them all the final stuff

like maybe a week ago.

And then it comes

out the other end,

the back,

and the front.

That's all she wrote.

I tried to get the final show

at the House of Blues in Boston,

with, you know, no barricade.

Got pretty far up

the chain,

got there before

it was squished.

I tried to help facilitate

a different venue,

like maybe a skating

rink, or a hall,

or somewhere else to

try to accommodate

two to 3000 people,

which in the city of Boston

is really hard to find.

There was a little voice

inside of me that knew

it's gonna be right

fucking here in Worcester,

at the Palladium.

When we announced the

final show in June,

it sold in something

like three hours.

And it just felt like we

gotta do another if we can,

and when the Palladium

stepped forward and said,

we can give you the day before,

So we were thinking

that we'd do something

kind of fun tonight,

and start this set with the

first song that we ever wrote,

the first song on our demo tape,

and then play straight

through till the last song

from "Don't Wait Up."

This song is called

"Lay The Blame."

I think the thing

about hardcore music,

is that it actually does

what all the great meditation

traditions try to do.

Is they try to take

people into a space

where they're completely

in the moment.

And they're totally

free of thought

of anything else

happening anywhere else,

and I feel like Bane

did that really well.

It was okay on Friday, you

were able to deal with it,

'cause it's not the end yet.

So, that made it a

little bit easier,

I'm glad there was two shows.

Are you

sad to see Bane go?

Yes kind of, but the

part of it I'm also happy

because it's gonna be my dad

not going away as much anymore.

I came with a

group from Germany.

I took all my money

and come to U.S.

It's been a hard

flight to be honest.

'Cause you know that

it's the last time

that you're coming

over here for this,

and it's the last

time that you're gonna

be with all those people

in the same place.

It means everything to me,

so, I just want to be part

of the last show of Bane.

I kinda want the power

in the building to go out,

'cause I'm definitely

not ready to say goodbye.

It's gonna be an emotional

night for a lot of us.

This is a day I've

been day dreaming about

on different levels.

Staring out the

window of the van

trying to imagine what

this is gonna feel like.

I'm having a hard time looking

my band members in the eye

'cause I feel really

right on the cusp

of just falling apart,

or of doing something

desperate like running away.

Surrounded with friends,

people who care about me.

That are gonna care

about me tomorrow

as much as they cared

about me yesterday.

I have to keep that in mind.

It's a beautiful thing

and also a sad thing.

It's not just one band

that sings about shoes,

well, they do sing about

shoes sometimes but, you know.

Nine, 10, 11,

12, 13, 14 songs.

I have no problem

adding two more

and then saying

two for an encore.

It's the last show, just

do everything you can.

Seriously

I mean, as ridiculous as it

sounds, that's 19 right there,

and if we can add In Pieces

and three short songs,

yes, that's 23 songs, but the

short songs are like one song.

Let's just fucking,

like he said fucking.

What are you holding back for?

That feels like,

you just don't want to

be up there for too long.

- It's your last night,

- This is thee show.

At the Web I didn't

want it to end.

I literally was like, I would

have played five more songs

at the Webster, so

let's do it all. Okay?

Let's just do it all.

We have like a 24

song set list tonight.

I'm hoping we hate each other

by the end of the set list.

But I've been hoping

that for three years now,

and it hasn't happened yet, so.

What's up everyone?

So, I'm afraid that we're

gonna have to start this

on a bit of somber note,

or maybe we can look at

it as something to put

this whole deal into

bit of perspective.

In the week leading

up to the final shows,

James' mother became sick.

And she kind of

down played it.

And I was like, "Is it

something serious going on?"

She said, "No no,

I don't think so."

And the next day she called me

and she said, "Hey, can

you come over and talk?"

This may have been

a day or two days

before we were leaving

for Costa Rica.

I drove to her house,

and she's like,

"The doctor told me I have

cancer, and it's serious.

"And it's the kind of

cancer that doesn't

"have a great survival rate."

So, of course that's

a nightmare, you know.

And I was like, "Okay,

well what do we do now?"

you know, and she's like,

"Well we do chemo or whatever,

"and we just do our best, we

just struggle through it."

I was just gonna

live in the hospital,

literally, just

like sleeping there.

So, I called Zach from

the hospital I remember,

and I was like, "Hey man,

"I don't think I'm

gonna go to Costa Rica"

And this was like literally

like really last minute.

And then while they were there,

in Costa Rica, my Mom died.

It was the fastest thing ever.

She was diagnosed

with cancer on Tuesday

and not even a week

later, she was gone.

I called Zach and

I called Bedard,

the day she died, sitting in

the hallway of the hospital,

crying on the phone,

Bedard who's crying in the

other end from Costa Rica.

No one in the band knows

this, or knew this,

but I had decided I wasn't

gonna do the final show.

It just wasn't

gonna work you know,

we had a funeral to plan,

we had a lot of

stuff to organize.

So, my Mom's brothers and

sisters were around a little bit.

They all like freaked

out on me like,

"You gotta fucking

go and do your thing.

"You're gonna go

to Massachusetts,

"You're gonna play those

shows with your band,

"that's important, it's what

your Mom would've wanted,

"there's no way she would

have stopped you from that,

"no matter what happened."

And I knew they were right.

I totally agreed she was

really supportive always of

music stuff, and she loved Bane.

I think it was good

for me emotionally

to get kind of shoved into

talking with my friends,

and being around my friends.

And I got to pour

some shit out on

and they were there to listen

to me pour some shit out.

I need to dedicate

this entire set,

to our bass player James

Siboni's mother, Twink Wilson,

who passed away on Monday.

James needed to be

here to do this.

He needed to be

here with all of us.

This entire set goes

out to her memory,

and I'd like to ask

if we could have moment

of silence for her,

and then let's set this off.

Felt respectful,

it felt appropriate.

You know, when

you're in mourning,

and had a loss, I

had a loss like that,

you wanna be around

your friends, you know.

And all of my friends,

you know, 2000 of them,

are all in the same place.

If I hadn't done the

last shows with Bane,

God, I think that would be

the biggest regret ever.

Can we

Start again

Everyone.

Go back to

what it meant back then

Can I be.

Open minds

and open hearts

The things that set us apart

♪ Can we ♪

♪ Start again ♪

You know, my favorite shows,

no matter what the venue,

no matter what the

size of the shows,

well, there were kids on

all sides of the stage.

Or there are kids, you know,

just bam, behind the drums

where everywhere I look, I'm

fucking singing to someone.

To see the Palladium

filled up like that,

is like a rare thing, for

a hardcore show especially.

I look up, and the

fifty people on stage,

I know every face,

and I've seen every

face a thousand times.

And I've got people

that have jumped on me

a thousand times jumping on me.

It was a very

positive vibe in there,

and just seeing the stage,

being, you know, filled with

people and family and friends.

It was definitely

hitting home that

this is gonna be the last time,

well that songs gone,

that songs gone.

I've never been

to a hardcore show

like that my entire life.

I've never seen a band

have so many songs

that people lost their mind for.

I can't say anything has

ever touched me emotionally

or at the scope of what

that last Bane show was.

I ran out of steam.

You know, I just

couldn't keep up.

There's only so many

stage dives you can get in

in that time, I needed

more water I think.

When I got to

the show, Zack said

"You should play

"Count Me Out" with us."

I hadn't been in the

band really since 1998

so, that was a

special moment for me.

As an adult looking back at

what was sort of the beauty

and the magic of what

hardcore was about,

was really that there was this

incredible sense of community

and that has never left us.

And I feel like they

were able to inspire

more of that within the scene.

There were 2,500

people in that room.

For me one of the proudest

thing is that Bane became

a unifier of so

many good people.

They're leaving their

legacy of the music

and the people they met,

the friendships they made,

and all the bands

they toured with.

But it's really about family.

That's the legacy they have

built this gigantic family

of people that I wish

I could see everyday.

Even just you

know going to shows

and meeting friends from

out of town and stuff.

That stuff goes

with you for life.

The hours and the miles and

the time spent seeing them,

hanging out with them,

you know, those things

are indispensable.

They've taught me things

in crowded rooms that

teachers have never taught me,

that coaches have

never taught me.

Take them out of the equation,

I wouldn't be here.

I don't think anyone could

ever they do what they did,

the way they did it.

But I think they

definitely taught us all

how to be in a band,

and be a good person,

and do it for the right

reasons, you know.

Bane will live forever

because of the impact

they've made on all

of us, all of us

damn kids who

couldn't find home,

and couldn't find a place to go,

and then they stumbled

into a hardcore scene

and then they

stumbled onto Bane,

we're all better because of it.

In between the tornadoes

and stomped on

untrue love letters,

there will be those

shining, gentle moments,

like the last page in

your favorite book.

Thank you for bringing

all of this into my life

and for giving me all of

these shining gently moments

that I've had for

these past 20 years.

- Thank you.

- Thank you.

- Thank you.

- Thank you so fucking much.

Thank you.

Thank you,

Thank you.

Thank you for the 18

years of friendship.

- Thank you,

- Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you for fucking

being the raddest dudes ever.

- Thank you.

- Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you for making

me the person I am

whether you know it or not.

- Thank you.

- Thank you.

Thank you guys.

Thank you for everything.

Thank you Bane

Thank you Bane.

Thank you Bane.

Thank you Bane.

Kids think that we are

this band that moves them,

and are a big part

in their lives,

but they don't understand that

we are just as moved by them

and that they are

just as important

if not more important to

us than we are to them.

Seeing them in the beginning

and seeing them in the end,

I mean, they've just stayed

true to what they wanted to do

and what it meant to each other.

They are this

ecliptic group of guys,

that somehow found each other

and decided to play

music with each other,

and they've loved it,

every minute of it.

It was never a chore to them,

it was never like,

it was their job,

but it was a job they loved.

And they respected and realized

how fortunate they

were to do that.

And how fortunate they were to

have people care about them.

And they realized that this

is lightening in a bottle,

and it can go away,

and they held onto it.

Do it.

Do it.

Do it.

- Do it.

- Watch out.

We had a cookout the next day,

two days after that, we all

went to a baseball game.

I was looking at Bobby and Zach

from across a few rows

of the baseball stadium,

I felt really sad, I felt

those are guys I used

to be in a band with.

That was sort of the great

catalyst to the grand plan,

of "Don't Wait Up",

two years of touring,

and then one final show.

There were members of the

band that weren't looking

to have that

conversation at all.

That were just maybe

needing it to be understood

that we should

slow down a little,

and maybe not say

yes to every tour,

and that some guys had some

great responsibilities,

and I was terribly stubborn.

I was really either

we do it or we don't.

I'm either in this

band, or I'm not.

And there are days now

where I think of that guy

and I kinda want to smack

him upside the head because,

I have reoccurring dreams all

the time that Bane has a show,

that there's a show coming up,

and the feeling of that is,

of waking up from

that is really hard.

It's gonna be

interesting to see how...

How we function without

it in our lives.

It still hasn't quite a

100% sunk in yet.

You know, but, I'm just

gonna miss the whole thing,

everybody, everything.

I miss us being in the van.

I miss leaving at Denny's

at four in the morning

about to start a

12-hour overnight drive.

Knowing we're in this van with

four other people

you love the most.

They helped me through the

darkest times of my life,

and I get to share the best

times of my life with them.

The absolute,

absolute pinnacles.

Every high point that just

was way up there in the red

was because of them.

I'll love them forever

because of that.

I think in the end,

Bane was everything that

I wanted a hardcore band to be,

and I was lucky enough

to be a part of it.

I love you, and thanks.

Thanks for taking

a chance on me,

I was a huge fan,

and I still am.

So, thank you.

I had the best times

of my life with you guys.

You've been next to me,

through all joys and pains.

We have done some of the

coolest shit together

that anybody could ask

for and I love you all,

and I wanna make sure that

my parents are recognized

for the unconditional

support in my playing career.

Thanks to the dudes

in Bane for having me.

Thanks everyone who was involved

for making Bane

like such a special

and relevant thing to our lives.

You all mean the world to me,

and I would never have

been able to do this

without every single one of you.

It's not the end

for us for sure,

but it's the end of this

chapter, and I love you all.

You have been exactly

the person that I needed

to be on that stage with,

and that studio with,

in that van with, and

that one hotel room with,

if we had a hotel room,

and I love you all so much.

You guys still owe

me $87 for parking.

Thanks for letting

me do all the work.

This is bad 'cause I'm getting

pissed for all those years.

Thank you for believing in me,

and making me laugh

every single day.

At the end of the day

we were a hardcore band

we got up on stage and

tried to give it our all,

and tried to pay tribute

to the spirit of the bands

that made us want

to be in bands.

We had no idea the

places that we would go,

the people we would meet.

The life-long friends

that we were gonna make,

and it was just by

far exceeded anything

we could expect to

happen in our lives.

We hold those moments

closer than we can

ever imagine we could,

and it's harder than

ever to let them go.

♪ What's done is done ♪

♪ The night takes ♪

♪ Everyone ♪

For me like I said earlier...

Don't say that, just, start

it like a whole new thing.

Is he directing, are you

directing, who's directing here?

Hey he's helping,

I appreciate him.

Nobody likes the back

street boys anymore,

and they were the biggest

thing in the fucking world,

you know, so it's

like, no offense,

if you need a bass player

or a guitar player,

I'm your man

Basically

we're gonna start

with the California shows,

and then work our way up to now.

Weirdest Bane song?

Fuck, any one that Zach

starts singing a lot.

They transferred a dog's

jaw bone into my jaw.

Oh, did they?

Yeah, touch it

I love Zach.

And I like his singing too,

but like some of those songs

like he just, he just go like,

Like "Really doing this?"

Yeah, they're

doing, alright cool.

Bane in one word to me,

is energy, pure energy.

well, that's two, but...

That's two, you gotta go

back, you gotta redo that.

- Yeah.

- One word.

You can do yours then

first, how about that?

Mine would be pure energy.

As long as you say I love

you after you shit talk,

I think it's fine to

say whatever you say.

That's the rule, right?

So, I was in this car accident

and I broke my jaw, and had

to get a bone transplant,

and they took it from a dog.

You wanna feel it?

No

You know.

What are you

doing here?

Hi baby!

Well, this is awkward.

Don't worry, I'm just saying

hi and then I'm leaving.

Hi Beautiful

♪ Happy birthday dear Bane ♪

♪ Happy birthday to you ♪

Bands were coming out, and

people were wearing make up,

and they were going

to metal rock,

and doing this and that,

they kept their thing pure.

Matt, do you have a

problem with that?

No.

What the fuck man?

I'm trying to have

a moment here.

I agree with you,

Bane never wore makeup.

Do you have a

favorite Bane story,

like your favorite show story?

I remember my best friend,

went and did a stage dive,

and I had never

done a stage dive,

I thought that was mind

blowing that he did that.

So, I like got up the

courage to get up there,

climbed up on stage,

went to go to jump off,

and the crowd just pushed

me back on the stage,

and probably the most

embarrassing moment of my life.

That's

your greatest story?

Yeah, it was the first

thing I could think of.