Holding These Moments (2020) - full transcript

It was more than
just a band to me,

it was my family.

They were

in a very real way, all I had.

I lost my mother
before Bane started,

lost my father
halfway through Bane.

Never had a relationship
last past a few years.

They were the one relationship
that I seemed to be

pretty good at,

anyway, I'm not sure if I could
say I was very good at it.

I love this life,



I love being on the road,

I love playing this music.

I love my guys in the band.

From day one, it's always
kind of been the same.

Did whatever we wanted to do,

and did the music whenever
we wanted to do it.

We'll tour when we wanna tour,

do tours that we want to do.

That feeling of team
is something I'll miss.

You know, when you're in a
band with guys for so long,

you know, you're a team.

I grew into the person I am

because of the guys in the band.

Because I had to learn
how to exist with them,



and I had to learn the art
of compromise and sacrifice.

Everything we wrote
was due to something

that happened to
us in our lives,

and

it just so happens that

this stuff happens in a
lot of people's lives.

I'm up there
screaming my head off,

losing my mind,

and I look out,

and there is kids
doing the same thing.

It's a connection that

you just don't feel,

really anywhere else.

♪ Who will set me free? ♪

I had a hard time leaving
for that final tour.

It all happened so fast.

It all just came rushing forth.

Literally 17 years of like,

essentially nonstop
touring and then,

going to this one
and knowing that

it's the last time you're
ever going to go anywhere.

So, this is the first
show of this tour,

definitely not a big
fan of trying to find

the perfect words to express
how we're feeling right now.

I can only tell you
how I'm feeling,

and it's very, very thankful,

and very overwhelming.

It was the first
show of the tour,

and it was the second that

me and Bedard looked at each
other on stage and said,

"The fuck have we done?"

♪ When Armageddon's ♪

♪ Been locked and loaded ♪

♪ I will come back for you ♪

♪ I will come back for you ♪

♪ When Armageddon's ♪

♪ Been locked and loaded ♪

♪ I will come back for you ♪

♪ I will come back for you ♪

♪ When Armageddon's ♪

♪ Been locked and loaded ♪

♪ I will come back for you ♪

It was really
nice just to watch

a room just give everything
to the band that,

for the last 20 years,

has given everything to us.

♪ I can still see the reasons ♪

♪ That I opened my eyes to
the scene in the first place ♪

♪ And I can still feel my
beliefs growing stronger ♪

♪ stronger every day ♪

It was sad but, it
was really good sing-alongs,

and it was like
our family reunion.

Seeing the people
that I met 10 years ago,

and I don't see
them all that often,

but it's my family,

it's my friends.

I think what sets Bane
apart from every other band,

is that they have an
energy I've never seen have

like, in a fan base.

People go completely
ballistic and crazy.

I've just never seen
that type of like,

happy, like positive
energy in hardcore.

It was a just a
different feeling,

it was a totally different vibe

than everything I've
been accustomed to.

One little request,

you can put the punching

and the kicking
away for the night.

Yeah.

Treat each other with
a little bit of respect

and compassion.

Move up, sing along,
have some fun.

At Bane shows,

there's not a lot
of like, posturing.

When Bane plays, that goes
away, it doesn't matter.

I feel very lucky that my
first introduction to hardcore

was through a Bane show,

because it's a completely
different atmosphere.

You are a 1000% accepted.

As a woman, you know, growing
up in hardcore and punk,

that isn't a feeling you
usually get from a band.

I still believe, that
this is a special place,

for people of all sizes,
all beliefs, boys and girls,

this isn't just some
fucking kickboxing club.

Soon as that music starts,

you just can't stand still.

You have to be a
part of the music.

Can't just be on the side.

I felt like there
was a comraderie

and respect at Bane shows.

And I think it sort of
pulled some of the people

from just the general
hardcore scene,

into a more...

A bigger community,

and did something that
other bands weren't doing,

and kind of brought this
family feeling to hardcore.

It is about emotion,

and about connection,

and a community is a great.

Is a great way to look at it.

It's definitely not intentional

in any kind of really
thought out way.

It's just...

It's what we do,

we want everybody to come.

You're all our family,

come and respect us,

and have fun.

Bedard writes about
it all the time,

if you can't do
that and respect it,

well there's the door.

Let hit you on the ass, right?

If you come into
this fucking room,

with the intentions of
doing something interactive,

proactive, then this thing
truly does belong to you,

this is your fucking kingdom.

I've always sort of wondered
if I found punk and hardcore,

or if it was always
going to find me.

Music and hardcore
in general, was like

the first time that
anybody ever...

I feel like saw good
in me.

You know, it was like
the first time that

I was ever accepted
in any place ever.

It's more than just music,

it's the people involved.

It was the punk
and hardcore scene

that made me feel welcome,

which is ironic because it
was predominantly white.

But I felt like,

these are my people,

this is where I feel safe.

You always have that music

and the people connected to it,

that you can reach out to,

that you have so
much in common with.

It was a place for me
to exist and be free,

and not have to live
by anyone else's rules.

I think that was an
opportunity for people

that felt like they had
something they needed to say,

to be able to just say,
"Hey, I can do this."

You didn't have to be on a
big stage, in an amphitheater.

You know, it could be in a
hall, with 20 of your friends.

But I think it's a worthy
search to try and find

that fucking thing that
you will not let go of,

that you will die for.

For me, the first real
hardcore band where,

it like clicked.

I went to Newbury
Comics in Shrewsberry,

just flipping through
the seven inches,

and I saw the "Inside
Out" seven inch.

That photo, where Zack de la
Rocha's just going bonkers,

and you read the liner notes,

"Thanks to this band,
thanks to that band."

And you know,

I started buying all
those seven inches.

And then, going to
the local shows,

I discovered Converge,

and then I realized after that,

that the guitar
player for Converge,

was the person working at
Newbury Comics, Aaron Dalbec.

So, this building over here,

this is a place called the
Worcester Artist Group.

We used to actually
all go to shows here,

before we really
knew each other.

It led us to
finding a hall called

the Quinsigamond Village
Community Center,

where we were able to
book our own shows,

and our own bands.

The first band that I
really did anything with,

was Converge.

That was probably
like, '93 or '94.

Me and my friend, Steve Neale,

started a band called Barrit.

Kind of math metal techy stuff.

As soon as I realized that
I could just sing in a band,

that you didn't need
any talent or anything,

you know, we just did it.

My friends were
starting a band

and they needed a bass player.

So, I didn't really have
any interest before that.

I fell in love with
it really fast.

Aggressive Hate,
was the first band.

We had songs titled,
"Skate, Don't Think,"

and things like that.

Then came a band
called Backbone.

'87 would have been Backbone,
all the way till '90.

Damon and I, the old
drummer from Converge,

we we're just gonna have fun
and start this new project.

So we had started writing songs.

Ben Chused who had played
drums in Ten Yard Fight,

was originally going
to play second guitar,

but he had some legal problems,

that he couldn't
leave his house.

And September of '95,

Bedard's old band, Backbone,
had done a reunion show.

Within a month, Chris Pupecki,

the guitar player of Cast Iron
Hike, was in a record store,

that Aaron Dalbec worked at.

I don't know Aaron Dalbec,

I've never even
heard of his band,

Converge, at that time.

Dalbec says, "Hey,
do you know anyone

"who might want to
sing in my new band?"

And he said, "Oh, we just
did the Backbone reunion,

"you should call Bedard."

And he gave me
his phone number,

he's like, "I don't know
if he'd want to do it,

"but, here's his number,
give him a call."

I didn't know it at the time,

but it was gonna be the best
phone call that I ever took.

Still kind of looking
for a bass player.

And we found Pete early on.

Pete was the first piece
that came after me.

He was like, "Don't
you play bass?"

And I was like, "Yeah,"

and he's like, "You
should come try out."

And I was like, you
know,.

I was like, "Aaron
from Converge asked me

"to come and try
out for his band."

Dalbec wasn't crazy about
the way he played bass.

He didn't play with
a pick, he just like,

played with his fingers.

At the end of practice,
Aaron Dalbec said,

"It went good but,

"you have to learn
to play with a pick.

"Learn how to do that or,

it's not gonna work out."

I guess he went home, and
like, practiced all week long.

It was so hard.

I was okay with my
fingers, and like,

they say, "No, you
can't do that anymore.

"You have to like,
relearn the whole thing."

Aaron Dalbec, he
had a definite vision.

He was gonna write these
songs that were fast,

and spirited, and short.

Now lyrically,

I was formulating a very
specific idea in my head

about what the language of my
lyric attack was going to be.

I'm being given a shot
here to put a pen to paper

and to say something.

I've been waiting for this
moment as a creative person

for a very long time,

and to make sure that
the lyrics were strong.

December of '95, we
recorded the "Demo".

That was the first time
that any band brought in

like, a serious crew of
people to do gang vocals.

You know "Demo" was recorded

and we still didn't know
what we were gonna be called.

The only one that I remember
that I came up with,

was "Summer Ends."

Which, thank God, we didn't
go with "Summer Ends."

I legitimately was
looking through a thesaurus,

and got to the B's,

and what did I think of Bane?

The poison of something,

or the thing that
destroys something else,

it just sounded hard.

I think they told me the name,

and I was like, "I don't
really like that."

You know, I wasn't on
the board to decide that.

I just kept
thinking of, you know,

how cool it's gonna
look on a shirt,

like strong, and four letters.

Before the first show, we
had made a lot of demo tapes.

I remember going
to New Bedford Fest,

Pete Chilton was giving
out the free demos.

We had the "Demo" out
for like a couple months,

and then we played
our first show.

There was a definite
feeling in the air.

Dalbec was a cool
kid in a cool band,

and people that had seen
the Backbone reunion,

were anxious to see
the new thing was so,

we were hyped up man,

we were ready to hit
that fucking stage hard.

We played that first note,

and Aaron sang that first lyric,

it was like an eruption of
chorus of people singing.

Somehow it felt like
at that first show,

everybody knew
every song already.

I think people were
just hungry for something

a little bit new, or
different at that moment.

In our general central
mass area, things were wild.

And then, you know, we just
made a bunch of friends early,

and those kids were
excited to come out,

and would go off a
little harder every time.

Kurt Ballou from Converge
was filling in guitar,

and he was just, was like,

"Until you find
somebody, I'll play."

At the same time,
I was in Barrit,

a metal band with Zach.

I said, "I know
this guy named Zach,

"and he's really good,

"and he goes crazy on stage."

I think I was like a
little bit jealous of Pete

when he was in the
band and I was like, ú

"Oh man, you get to
be in this cool band,"

and then one day he had asked me

if I wanted to come
try out for Bane.

I don't even know if they
tried anybody else out,

but they accepted me
tryout so.

I came in six months
after the band started.

We've always laughed about how

I've never been asked
to actually join Bane.

They'll tease me
every now and then,

and say, "You're
just a fill-in."

"Motherfucker, I wrote like
five records with you guys now.'

It's bitter sweet.

It was a great show

but, it's sad that
it's the last time.

Especially when it's
a band that you've

you know, enjoyed
some times with.

Coming to grips
with the fact that

you're not gonna see some
of those people, maybe ever.

It was pretty tough.

They're soaking everything up,

these shows are awesome.

Wow, we haven't had a show
this good in this city

for how long, you
know what I mean.

It's in the back of your head.

It's like, what is will not
be in less than two months.

Next day was Gilman.

Gilman

Gilman.

Which is you know,
the greatest...

The greatest venue in the
country, maybe the world.

Legendary in the
punk hardcore scene.

♪ Out of the road ♪

Yeah

♪ Little boys let
their beards grow ♪

The amount of friends
that have came out,

got in the van,

flew in from places,

it's already getting
overwhelming.

I flew out to
California to follow

the last leg of that
tour on the West Coast.

'Cause I wanted to get
in as many Bane moments

as I could before it was gone.

So, it's been
a good long ride.

I can't imagine there being
a luckier band out there.

So, I think it was close
to a 1000 people in there.

I didn't really get a
chance to take it all in

on how insane the show was.

Kids were going ape-shit.

If I wasn't old and
didn't have back problems,

I would have tried
stage diving.

The condensation and
the sweat from everyone,

the humidity, made the stage
like an ice skating rink.

Everything was so fucking
slippery, it was crazy.

By the third or fourth song,

I realized that I couldn't
jump, I couldn't move.

I just kept thinking I
was gonna bust my ass,

like, or do a
split or something.

That became a part
of the fun for me.

It was sick watching everyone,

this like balancing act.

We've had a pretty extensive
relationship with California.

Some of our really good
friends live there.

It was kind of bizarre going
there for the last time,

and really not knowing

if we were ever going to see
some of those people again.

So it was a pretty
hard thing to do,

and pretty emotional night.

This is the first truly,

truly devastating one for me

to have to be saying
goodbye to California,

tonight is crazy.

I was a little sad that
we didn't get to play

at the Chain Reaction,

a venue that we've been going to

since our first tour
in '98, and have...

I would venture to say

anytime we've ever
been to California,

we've played Chain
Reaction at least once.

But, it was a good
night, it was a fun show.

California has been
the hardest to leave

since we started
this final US tour.

Because until then,
I had in my brain,

everybody in the United States
was going to the final show.

And so, I'm giving
everybody hugs in Santa Ana,

and I'm like, "I'll
see you in June,"

and they're like, "No,
like, tonight was it."

and then it would just like...

It hit me like a wall.

My brain is in
denial right now and,

I'm still kind of in denial.

You can interview me
after the last show

- at the mental hospital.
- Yeah

And then we got to kick
it two days in Vegas.

Two of the glazed, two
of those, two of those.

Good donut.

This band is
about all the tears,

and the sweat,

and the blood,

and the passion that
we've put into this,

for us so that we can continue

to find our way
through this world.

Every like six or
eight months we recorded

new songs for an E.P.

The "Demo" came out in '96,

the "Seven Inch" came
out in the fall of '96,

and I think "Free To
Think, Free To Be"

came out in the spring of '97.

"Holding This Moment"
came out in '98,

which was the seven inch.

They had asked me
toward the end of 1997

to come back and play drums
instead of playing guitar.

That was like the first like,

big studio type of thing
that we did with Bane.

At that point, I thought,
this is Dalbec's band,

and I didn't wanna ruin that
vision that these guys have,

by putting my weirdo metal
influences into it or whatever.

The first three seven inches

just have a lot of very spirited

in love with hardcore
type of stuff.

But there's some dark
stuff on there too.

I was pretty good at being
able to navigate my way through

dark themes and maybe
bring it around to

something a little more
optimistic in the end.

"Holding This Moment",

like when you first
put on that record,

and it's like.

You know, even the
beginning of that song

is just nothing like
you've ever really heard

in another hardcore band.

When I try to provide an
example of a band I was in

or when I played drums on
something that I'm proud of,

it's that song, and that E.P.

that we recorded together.

When I listen to it today it
still gives me goosebumps.

Next time you listen to
the song "Count Me Out."

When they say, "shed your past".

♪ Shed your past ♪

We definitely, a lot of us
were saying, "Shit your pants."

I don't think Aaron Bedard was
very happy about that, but,

maybe 20 years later he'll
find it funny, I don't know.

The first two seven inches,

Aaron Dalbec just
sort of self-released.

And then EVR, Equal
Vision Records,

was willing to take
a chance on us.

You know, they were
gonna put out the E.P,

which is the "Holding
This Moment" CD.

Equal Vision was in a
house with a barn in the back

and the label was in the barn.

Almost every long
weekend or tour,

we would roll into New York
at three in the morning,

sleep in the barn,

and then Kate and
Steve would have us,

and they would always go
get us bagels and stuff

and we'd sit around
the table and talk,

you know, about how things
were going and eat bagels.

They were more
than a band to me.

I felt like, I kind of knew
them as individual people.

It was one of the best
matches for a band and a label.

We've never had a single
bad experience with them.

Whenever we talk, I
was just trying to like,

be supportive.

Sounds cliche, but they
weren't just our record label,

they were like, almost
part of the band,

they were like a
part of the family.

I was in a band
called Close Call.

Ben was in the band at the time,

he was just gonna
do "Ten Yard Fight,"

so, they knew they were in
trouble, they needed a drummer,

so, Aaron called me up

and asked me to do
the tour with them.

Before Nick, Bane
was a side project.

You know, Bane did weekends,

we had never done a tour,

we had only put out a
"Demo," and "Seven Inches."

Played when we could,

and then along came Nick,

we started touring, you know,

things started happening.

There are seven
of us in the van,

and six of us have never done

anything like this
before in our lives.

This is everything
we've been hoping for.

That first tour,
in the summer of '98,

we did three and half
weeks with Saves the Day.

We drove across this country,

and our arrival on the West
Coast was Portland, Oregon.

You could see the Pacific Ocean,

that up until that
point in my life,

it might as well have
been fucking Mars to me.

Like, I had never gone anywhere.

I remember standing there

and looking at the Pacific
Ocean and thinking,

"Anything that happens after
this, is extra credit."

Like we did it, my mother
would be proud of me,

because of this
music that we made.

We started playing
to 25 kids a night,

50 kids was like
an awesome show.

You know, maybe
you got those spots

where there was a 100 kids,
200 kids, where it was like,

this is the greatest
show of my whole life.

You're playing for
a 100 bucks a night,

you know, 50 bucks a night.

Sometimes, you're not
sleeping in hotels.

You have a sleeping
bag and a pillow,

and hopefully there's
a carpet in the house.

You learn how to kind
of adapt to tour life,

sleeping on a floor,
and eating $2 meals.

Aaron Dalbec had
toured a couple of times.

Toured with Ten Yard Fight,
he had already been to Europe,

and Converge had already
done a couple of U.S things.

So, he was like the old vet,

and then he was 23
maybe at the time.

Anytime anything
weird would happen,

we were like, "What do we do?"

And he is like, "just go do
your laundry."

A year later, we did "It
All Comes Down To This."

It was a big departure
from "Holding This Moment."

It's like so out
there and weird,

and like no one else
sounds like that.

We were trying to do
something ambitious,

and it failed.

It went a little
crazy guitar-wise and,

recorded with a different guy.

We recorded with
three seven inches,

all with Brian McTernan.

He was a hardcore kid
that lived in Boston,

sang in a hardcore
band named Battery,

and then for whatever reason,

when It was time to do the L.P.

Converge had just done a
tour with, Today Is the Day,

and Steve Austin really
wanted to do the record.

So, we went in there
and we recorded

like a six song demo
in like eight hours.

And it sounded awesome,

comparatively it was great.

So we did the record with him.

Maybe we were just young
and kind of naive, but like,

We just didn't
have that direction

that Brian McTernan
brought to the table.

It was before I was
confident enough

to say anything
in the recordings,

as far as trying
to direct people.

He just really let us do
whatever the fuck we wanted to,

and that was not good for us.

There's nobody there

that knows how this record
is supposed to sound,

knows what a good
vocal performance is

from a bad vocal performance,

I have no fucking
idea what I'm doing,

I'm just screaming.

We were all pretty
disheartened by it.

♪ Calling you out ♪

♪ For ♪

♪ The last time ♪

♪ Come show your face ♪

We ended up with this
record, that sounds,

in my opinion, tragic.

It all comes down to
this is one of the worst

sounding hardcore
records in history,

but some people love it.

When anyone tells me that
that's their Bane record,

that they love that Bane record.

I think it's a
real testament to,

this music can be loved even
if it doesn't sound good.

That, if the lyrics or
the attitude is there,

you will find a way
to love these records.

If it hits you at
the right time,

the right place,

the right age.

We can't be mad at
that record because,

"Can We Start Again"
came out of that record,

and we owe this whole
career to that song.

♪ Can we start again ♪

♪ Go back to what
it meant back then ♪

♪ Open minds and open hearts ♪

♪ The things that set us apart ♪

That was like the first
time that we played a show,

and it was crazy for
"Can We Start Again."

I was at the show with Steve,

and Steve turned to
me and he was like,

"Do you think all these
kids bought the record?

"How's everybody know the
words like this, it's crazy."

When you catch Bane,
on the right night,

with the right crowd,

in the right venue,

and you just see the
ultimate connection,

between band and crowd,

and that perfect
positive energy.

When you see that, goosebumps.

"Can We Start Again" was
like the song that really

made us realize
that this was bigger

than we thought
it would ever be.

That was the first time,

I realized Bane wasn't this
new England local band,

they were this
big hardcore band.

I tried never to
take for granted,

or to never lose track of the
fact that while we really,

failed or stumbled
upon a miracle here.

That not every band gets
to have one of those.

Can we start again.

Go back to
what it meant back then.

Everyone.

Open minds
and open hearts

The things that set us apart.

Yeah

♪ Can we start again ♪

♪ Go back to what
it meant back then ♪

♪ Open minds and open hearts ♪

We played a free show
at the Nile Theater

in Mesa, Arizona.

Michelle who does...

I think she's done all of our
shows in the Phoenix area,

from the very
beginning pretty much.

She briefly mentioned it to me

of the idea of
doing a free show.

And we were like, "Why?"

And she's like,

I didn't want
money to be an excuse

for kids not to come out

and either see them
for the last time,

or see them for the first time.

Well, that's the venue

that we are always
playing in Arizona,

but we always play
in the basement,

to maybe 120 to 200 kids.

When we put it up as a
free show, it was huge.

It was by far the biggest
Arizona show we've ever played.

I feel that they've been
really influential in my life,

and in hardcore,

and they deserve
a proper send-off.

♪ This is a promise ♪

♪ I made to you ♪

♪ I'll be right there ♪

♪ I'll be right next to you ♪

We were leaving from
San Antonio to Houston

with a bunch of our
friends, The Perez Family.

It's like ten of them.

Mom and dad and all their kids,

who've come out to all of
our Texas shows forever.

They told us there was supposed
be some crazy rain storm.

Houston got 12 inches of
rain within like four hours.

A lot of the city
had been shut down.

A lot of the highways
were shut down.

We weren't even sure we
were gonna make the show.

At about two o'clock,
we got a call saying,

"Venue has got power,
venue is open."

You know, there's not
much that's gonna stop us

from playing a show.

Thank you very, very much

for being here
tonight, this is cool.

♪ This is my therapy ♪

♪ You breath life into me ♪

♪ My only sanity ♪

♪ Within these walls
is where I'm free ♪

♪ This is my therapy ♪

♪ You breath life into me ♪

♪ My only sanity ♪

♪ Within these walls
is where I'm free ♪

We played two
nights in Chicago.

Both nights were
real, real cool.

There were no problems.

The vibe was right in there.

Just the crowd was so on 10,

and there was so
many stage dives,

and it felt like we
were really on fire.

No matter where I've moved
to, whether it was Colorado,

Seattle, New York, Chicago,
like, Bane was always there

in a weird sick kind
of touring band way,

and then now, it's like that
will no longer be there,

and it's kind of
a weird feeling.

As each show
ends, it's closer,

and it hits a little bit harder.

The vibe's alright, in the
van the morale's alright,

which is even better than usual.

We're having a
really nice time,

it's been an incredible tour.

See me again in a few days,
though that story could change.

This is a really, really
insanely great tour,

maybe the best tour,

but it's also the worst
tour, 'cause it's the last.

No matter how old you are,

no matter how many years pass,

or how much your parents,

or your boss,

or your peers

think that you should be doing
something with your life,

other than this,

if this is what you
feel in your heart,

then this is where you belong.

We did a tour with
Adamantium and Death by Stereo,

L.A bands that were super
tight on the same label.

I did release the Bane split
"Seven Inch" with Adamantium,

on Indecision Records.

We were doing a Death by
Stereo and Ensign One.

And Death by Stereo
and Adamantium,

we were planning on
booking a summer tour.

Dalbec suggested that Bane
do one of these splits.

I was excited, I didn't ask

'cause I figured like
there's just no way.

And he came up with the idea,
let's do it even better,

what if Death by Stereo,
Adamantium, and us

all went on tour together?

That may have been one
of the most eye-opening/

fun tours we had
done to that point.

We didn't know
anybody in the bands.

Day two or three, was like,

clique, best friends,

and it was just one
of those tours where

we just rolled
together everywhere.

We slept in the same places,
those fucking poor kids,

whatever house we got in,

18 dudes, sleeping
in the same house.

You weren't gonna get us
apart from each other,

it was so much fun.

Driving down the
highway in Colorado,

with Dave Itow hanging
out the window,

shooting bottle rockets,
mortars, fucking Roman candles,

at us in our van,

and me hanging out of my
van shooting them back.

And it was like that everyday.

Were like, "Hey, let's pull
over and jump off this bridge."

Me and the bass player
for Adamantium Schwartz,

if we see water, we're
gonna jump in it.

It's probably like 15, 20 feet.

But we don't even
know how deep this is,

we just start
throwing rocks to see,

and then just one
of us jumped in.

Any last words?

Fuck you guys.

And then everybody just
started pitching off.

And it became like
an hour and a half,

of just jumping into
this random river

on the side of the road.

I like that you threw
rocks into the river

like that's gonna test
the depth of the water.

Like you're gonna understand
because it makes a ping.

Like, oh, that's deep enough
to jump in off of a bridge.

I loved being insane
with them always.

We would just plan
things everyday.

Here we are, in
beautiful Oklahoma.

Abort, abort mission,

Abort mission, abort mission.

we're being chased
away by that lady.

Finding like
waterfalls to jump off,

or like

oh, there's a firework place.

Let's not get a hotel,

but let's spend a $100

on the craziest
fucking firework ever.

On the very last
night in Austin,

we met some random
homeless dude on the street

who was playing Poison,

"Every Rose Has Its
Thorn" on his guitar,

and all of us got around

and started singing with him.

It's a great way
to end a tour too.

Yeah, it is, it really was.

Final words on tour?

There is no words.

Time of my life,
best time I ever had.

I can't believe this, this
is what I do for a living,

it's is amazing.

We spent probably
the best summer

of my entire life together.

Those guys are awesome,

and they smell horrible.

After that, we became a band

hungry for that
sort of connection.

It was a really, just an
important feature for Bane,

I think just to be in the van.

This is like a huge
part of their existence.

Bane was always a band to me,

that just broke every rule

and did super unique things,

and "Give Blood" is such
a good example of that.

As soon as it starts,
that first note,

you're just like, I
wanna be a part of this.

♪ Fuck yeah ♪

♪ I am still holding on ♪

We wrote such a crazy record,

when we did "It All
Comes Down To This,"

that I think we just looked
at each other and said,

We're gonna write
two minute songs,

that punch you in the face.

You know, no movie
samples, no meandering,

let's just hit them and
get the fuck out of there.

And that's what we did.

The lyrics are
all collaborative,

the music was all collaborative.

That was the first record

that we were all just
like, this is us.

"Give Blood" came on the
other side of all this touring,

of a lot of going
and seeing the world,

and making amazing friends and,

we're getting great
responses at shows,

and people were putting
us up in their houses,

and unbelievable gestures of
friendship and generosity.

We had Brian McTernan back.

I always felt like a
huge part of my job was

to push the bands.

To see what it could be beyond

what they think
that it could be.

It's so hard to get
almost everything perfect.

That record is
pretty damn close.

I think at that point Pete
was doing graphic design.

For "Give Blood" he was like,

"You want me to
try to design it?"

And we were like, "Yeah."

We knew it was going
to be called "Give Blood"

before we started
doing the layout.

I had this idea in my
mind that I wanted it

to be a real scrapbook rather
than photoshopped together.

I actually went out
and took this picture.

This is actually me in here.

Set up a tripod and just carried
guitars in front of the van

and tried to get the
long exposure shot there.

Each person in that
"Give Blood" layout,

had a spread,

and they sort of
put that together.

It's falling apart now but,

I basically scanned everything.

When that came
out, I remember like,

the internet was around then.

All these like,
online zines were out

and just reading the reviews,

Bane's new record "Give
Blood," five stars.

To me that's like, you know,
that's Bane fully realized.

When that record came
out, it was just like,

that's, you know, they
kind of set a bar.

"Give Blood," kicks
off with "Speechless,"

and I think stays pretty
spirited throughout,

it's just like, fuck,
being in a band is ill,

like, being on tour
is cool, you know,

Ante Up is about that,
"Ali vs Frazier."

Literally everything I've
ever done was kind of based of

Give more, give
everything, give Blood.

For some reason, me
of like all the lyrics

that Aaron wrote,

if I wasn't in the band,

that would be the part
I always tackle him

and grab the microphone.

♪ Give more ♪

♪ Give everything ♪

♪ Give blood ♪

To me that was
like the first time,

the recording like, really
captured their whole vibe.

I think that era, we were
all kind of growing together.

Like, they were really like,

coming into their own as
song writers and musicians,

and I had come a long way as
an engineer and a producer.

That record has so much
energy and character,

and was a really special,
special experience for me.

And we toured
on that for years,

before we even thought
about doing the next record.

We were on a Hatebreed
tour with Poison the Well,

and What Feeds The Fire.

That was like a monster tour.

Was kind of a rough start,
we got stuck in snow storms,

our van got broken into,

and then we got to California,

and it was amazing,

and like everything
started to fall into place,

and the show was
really just crazy.

And we were heading back home.

We're in Oklahoma,

and in the middle of the night,

the phone rings, and
you all kind of know.

We all wake and, and we're
like, "That's not good."

It was the weirdest
thing, I was like, "Hello?"

"Pete, it's Jeremy."

I'm like "Oh, hi, whats up?"

And he's like, "Steve died.

"There was an accident
and Steve died."

Zach and I had been
in a band with Steve,

Ink Cartridge Funeral.

And then I was in a band
called Barrit with him,

that he sang for.

And I've been friends with
him since I was 14 years old.

Eric was driving the car.

He said he swerved
out of control,

and Steven's head hit a pole,

and he didn't make it.

I just couldn't...

It's just not real,
it's still not real.

I just kept saying, "What?

"What are you talking about?"

I handed the phone to Zach.

And I said, "You need
to talk with Jeremy."

And he just took it and,

we just packed up all of our
stuff like, that instant,

and started driving home.

I didn't grow up with
Steve, I liked Steve a lot,

but I was in a van with kids

who had known him since
elementary school.

Who were his best friends.

I literally don't
think that anyone spoke,

and it was just, you know,
30-hour drive or whatever.

I never again, and never in
my life up to that point,

woke up and been like,

I think that was just a dream.

I thank God it was like
some terrible nightmare.

And then I'd be
like, "Where am I?"

And then, you know, it
all happens in one second.

And it's not a nightmare,
it's absolutely real,

and

it's been real ever
since it happened.

If I didn't have my friends,

and if I didn't have Bane,

I don't think I...

I don't think I would've
made it through that.

We were in Ink Cartridge
Funeral with Steve,

that wasn't gonna
continue without him.

Me, Nick Branigan,
Nick Van Someren,

who was our guitar player
in Ink Cartridge Funeral,

then Peter Chilton,

who we all just
started this band.

The name "Silent
Drive" just came from

how quiet that ride
home from that tour was.

I think after that
he had a lot to say

and a lot to write about.

I think he wanted to produce
something as like a tribute.

A lot of that record is
written about Steve and...

It's one of the most emotional
things I've had to write.

♪ Off of faces ♪

♪ watching all of
these times changing ♪

♪ The tears make
mud on the ground ♪

♪ Kick them and think ♪

♪ It could've been different ♪

♪ This 4 16 you
will hardly smile ♪

People say when
you lose a friend,

or when you lose anybody,

that it gets easier
over time, you know,

the pain will go
away, whatever it is,

and maybe that's
true in some cases,

but not this one.

Right after Chicago
was Louisville.

The last time we were there,

the circumstances
were so strange,

and that we played Krazy Fest,

like this outdoor
stage with a barrier,

that was very sort of awkward.

And we played a house
show that was amazing,

and then we played a strip club.

Fantasy's Island strip club,

which is an infamous Dane show,

and it was just
an amazing night.

Most nights of this
tour have been surprising

as far as the number
of kids coming out,

even in places that we wouldn't
rightfully expect that.

It sure felt good to play
to a full room last night

and Team Skylar was in the
house, that was real special.

Skylar was diagnosed with
acute lymphoblastic leukemia.

It's blood cancer, she was
diagnosed when she was four.

I just decided to
make a stupid t-shirt,

and put it up on march swap,

sold over 60 t-shirts
in under 24 hours.

And after I saw
that, I decided hey,

"You know I've been
booking years for 15 years,

"why not just start
emailing booking agents?"

We've been raising money for

Riley children's
hospital in Indianapolis.

And all the funds that we raise,

go directly to their research
for oncology for the kids.

My first experience
with Team Skylar

was actually on The
Life & Death Tour,

I didn't know he was a
Bane fan at the time,

I just saw the
table and went over

and started talking to him.

Zach gave me his number,

and since then we've
been in contact.

She's a five year old that
changed my life, really quick.

She's going through the
hardest time in the world,

and she makes me smile so much.

She really changed
my outlook on life.

So Skylar is gonna be
very mad at me right now,

because I think she's a
little scared to stage dive.

So we will gently
stage dive her,

we're gonna do it on the
count of three, are you ready?

One, two, three.

Okay, bring her back, bring
her back, bring her back.

Yeah, Skylar!

Thank God, on her way back
she was smiling like crazy.

I can't really think
of any other times

when someone that
young gets to come out

and experience
something like that.

Everybody give it
up for Team Skylar.

To see the compassion

that those people
have for Skylar,

the fun that Bane was
able to give that family,

the amazing memories those
kids were able to earn tonight,

it's pretty much what made
tonight as special as it was.

I like it when a hardcore show

doesn't have such a macho vibe.

I don't think that Bane runs
into that problem much anyway,

but it's just nice that
it's the complete opposite,

like an actual
like, family event,

which is like, it's
a fun change of pace.

One day, I hope that they
look back at these moments

and realize how incredibly
special they are,

to be involved in such
a beautiful scene.

This is a band
that will always be

a very important
part of my life.

And for me to be on this
last tour with them,

I'm never gonna forget it.

We were doing a lot of touring

when we found out we
were having Scout.

And I wanted to come
up with a way to have

the years that I was gone,

the first two years
of his life almost.

To have something that hopefully
he can go back and be like,

"Oh, this is where dad was."

Ever since he was born,

I have worn one of these
shirts, every single show.

Early on, Aaron Bedard and I,

we were having a
heart-to-heart talk,

and I remember
Aaron saying to me,

"Man, I really hope that
Bane can really pull together

and tour as, and play shows
as much as Trial does."

I wish I had the foresight to
have said to him, you know,

"You go out for six weeks
once a year, you can do this."

Little did I know,

they were gonna go
out every six weeks...

Every six weeks for
20 years, right?

But I remember in that moment,

just sensing how much
Aaron wanted this to work.

It takes a really special
sort of breed of person

to thrive in that environment,

to be completely content,
completely happy,

and to be able to sort of see it

almost as a gift at
the end of the day,

you get this intense
experience in a room

full of like-minded kids

who've come up with the
same feeling in their heart

over this music and this energy

and this message and
that you end your day

together, screaming
and sweating,

and then you rinse, repeat,

do it again in some other town.

I know, I'm kind of made to
be on the road, I feel like,

because I never got sick of it.

A lot of people get to
that three week mark,

and they're like,
"I'm fucking done."

If they ever got hard for me,

it was

at home situations that

you can't be home for.

We've had grand parents
pass away on the tour,

friends pass away.

That's the hardest because
you're so far away from home,

that you feel helpless,

'cause you can't get
there fast enough.

Well, we're on the side
of the highway right now,

and our fucking
trailer just broke,

over the ball bearing
or whatever on,

it just smashed so, we're
waiting to get to the show now.

It's difficult
touring on the level

that a hardcore band tours
on, which is in a van.

You sit for six to
eight hours a day.

You sleep where you end up
sleeping, if you end up sleeping.

For someone like me, you
get drunk way too much.

You eat shitty.

And that repeats day
in and day out for,

you know, 30 days
on an average tour.

And that's not for everybody.

In reality is like
you're living with

four or five of your
brothers, or siblings,

in a one room apartment.

I mean there's been
times where we've almost

gotten in fist fights
with each other, you know,

but it's also the
best thing ever.

Sometimes you just stop.

Sometimes you just
stop feeling it.

And sometimes you just
don't know what to do,

or how to process it.

That's exactly what
happened to me.

The touring juggernaut of
Bane was never gonna stop.

I was feeling uncomfortable
with how much time

and energy and identity
Bane was taking up for me.

I felt creatively especially,

I was changing,

and Bane wasn't going to allow
that much of me to unfold.

And it hit me really hard

at like an inopportune,
very strange time.

It was harder on
him than I realized.

We were in Montreal, we
were on a tour with Terror,

and Most Precious Blood.

June of 2003.

We were just about to go on,

and Nick was like, "I
need to talk to you guys."

Whenever a band member
calls for a band meeting,

it's never ever a good thing.

Like it's never like, "I
won the fucking lottery."

He immediately
kind of broke down.

"I love you guys, but this
isn't what I want to do anymore.

"I'm not 100% into it."

I think that was really hard
for him, cause at the time,

we were all young,
we were having fun,

and you know, we were living
the hardcore dream life.

He was the first
member to sort of buckle,

and that was scary.

We were all shocked
by what happened.

I went like, "I can't believe
I just fucking did that,"

and they were like,

"I can't fucking believe
you just did that,"

and it was a mess.

It was at a time,

where it felt like things
were really getting moving,

and we were really sort
of getting comfortable

of being a bigger band
who could headline tours

pretty much anywhere.

After we played and I was
sitting outside with Pete,

and I was just
like, "Is this it?

"Are we gonna be done?"

I was nervous, because I
really got along with Nick.

You know, he's one of the
funniest people I know.

Him leaving was like
really hard for me.

Nick is "Give Blood," Nick
is "Can We Start Again,"

Nick was there for kind of
the main growing of the band.

I couldn't see past
his drumming style,

I couldn't see that
we would survive it.

We just couldn't imagine not
being on the road with him.

More importantly,

I think we couldn't imagine
not writing with him.

We were kind of in
limbo for a while,

trying to figure out
what we were gonna do.

Bedard was like,

"We don't need to break
up because of this,"

and we were all kinda like,
"Yeah, like, but who?"

That's when Bobby came in.

Just a positive dude,

I mean, they couldn't have
gotten a better person

to fit in after Nick left.

Matt Pike was booking
both Reach the Sky,

and booking Bane.

Reach the Sky ended
in February of '03,

I think it was Matt
that actually suggested,

"You know, hey, why don't
you give Bob a call."

We knew he was kind of
wild, but that he loved Bane,

and that the most important
thing, is he knew the road.

He was gonna be able to jump in

and keep the pace that
we were trying to keep.

He came to practice,

and I'm always like dreading
that a drummer is gonna show up

and just not gonna
know the half the song,

and I'm gonna have to
sit there and like,

"Oh, then it goes
like this, okay yeah,

"and then it goes like this."

That's like my nightmare,
cause I'm lazy, you know.

I'm very picky about
who I'm gonna vibe with,

who I'm gonna feel comfortable
writing with especially.

First practice I remember
banging out like three songs

in a row, pretty easily.

He knew everything.

The big difference between
Bob and Nick playing drums,

is Nick is definitely
a jazzier drummer.

Just the most unique
drum style seriously

not like anyone
else in hardcore.

And Bob is like a much
more straight forward,

heavy-hitting drummer.

I remember all
looking around the room,

being like, "Okay, well
we got this part down."

This is it, this
is our new drummer.

Man, you've been
digging in the trash,

your lips are all white.

You can get a 20 out of
some poor bustard there.

We were a lucky band,

we had this kind of
dedicated fan base

that would follow
us a little longer

than maybe they should have,

when it came to, not
having new material.

Writing records
for us wasn't hard,

but it was always
easier to tour.

We toured, basically
from 2003 to 2007.

We would, literally
starting to feel

people's attention
starting to waiver,

and realized, "Well
fucking of course,

"we haven't put out a
record in this long.

"We gotta write a record."

That was what spurred The Note.

♪ Today won't be
like yesterday ♪

The guys were a lot more
involved in the recording process

than they had been
with "Give Blood."

How do I top a record
like "Give Blood?"

That was on the back of my mind.

A lot of that
record was written

from a pretty brave place of
knowing that kids liked us,

and that we had been successful

as far as the
things we stood for,

the things we had
been outspoken about.

So, there are two songs on it,

one, "End With An Ellipsis"

and "Swan Song," which
talks a little bit about

having to come to
terms with this ending.

♪ I'll never love
anything else ♪

♪ The way that I loved this ♪

Nick had left, Zack was married,

I think Bobby was either
about to have a child,

or maybe he had
already had a child,

Aaron Dalbec was married.

I was living in Baltimore.

I was starting to feel like

life could start to get
in the way a little bit.

We were throwing out ideas
for the name of that record.

Pete and I had sort of
been cultivating this idea of

using a comic book artist

and it had to be this
real visual thing.

That record got named based on

the story that we came
up with for the layout.

The note was about this
guy who finds this note,

and what is in this
note drives him crazy,

and then because of that, all
of these events take place.

A lot of the kids were like,

"The fuck is that
goddamn layout about?

"I don't even get it."

And were like, "How
do you not get it?

"It makes perfect sense."

But that's because we
know what the note said.

And we don't ever tell
anybody in that layout

what the note says.

They changed the lives
people for the better.

They helped a lot of people
through some really dark times.

And they've been this life
raft for a number of people.

This is why we
listen to this music,

'cause it takes us through
what makes us think,

"Fuck man, this world
is so goddamn cynical,"

and it makes it a
beautiful place again.

And at one point or another,
nothing lasts forever.

You have bandmates, and then
you have like, best friends,

and Pete is one of
my best friends.

He gave Bane the bass sound that

a lot of hardcore
bands don't have.

Pete is very level-headed,

so, if there were ever
times where I felt like,

we maybe losing it,

Pete was there to
kind of make sure

that we held it together.

We toured a lot.

Basically I started getting
burnt out a little bit.

I had gotten married.

I had been in Bane since
I had known my wife,

so, it was always part of
what I did, like as a job.

But I was burnt out,

just like, looking for part
time work over and over again.

I had bought a
house and you know,

you start to be a
little bit of an adult,

and worry about money

and things like that.

So, in 2007 I told
them that I was

gonna take a teaching position.

And that's when Stu came in.

I was in Reach the Sky.

So, we played a lot
of shows together,

and did a couple of tours.

Bob and I's relationship
goes back to high school.

There's a friendship and
bond between him and I,

that I don't have with really
anybody else in the band.

August of 2008, Bob called me

and was looking for someone to
go to Canada for three weeks.

My wife was six months pregnant,

she was cool with it, so I went.

We practiced once.

My first show with the band,

was at a Skate Park in Syracuse.

We got there at about nine

and we were supposed
to play at 9:30.

So we just kinda went in,
threw all our stuff up,

threw merch out,
got on the stage,

Bedard handed me a set list,

and it didn't have the full
names of the songs on it.

I was looking at
it, and I was going,

"Holy shit."

I don't know if,
do I know, okay.

As soon as the
first song started

we all started going crazy,

and kids went crazy
and everything.

Next thing I know, it
was over, and I was like,

"Oh, alright, that
was cool."

He was only supposed to do
half a tour and then fly home.

And then the first
half was done,

he called his
wife, and was like,

Hey, I know we're
moving, but you know,

we hired movers, do
you think I can stay?

Then she said sure.

It was so nice
having him in the band,

because we had somebody
else to step up and do

decision making kind of stuff.

Getting in the van with
them, was kinda like,

it felt like going home.

You know what I mean, it
was really comfortable.

The first year,
it wasn't that hard,

and it didn't bother
me that much at all,

but when they started
going new places,

like South America, and
the Philippines, and China,

and Russia, and all
these other places,

I was like, oh.

I've always been
impressed with

you know, they were like,

kind of the older dudes,

but they're so supportive

of all the younger bands
around and on tour.

They would always
have fill-in members

from other bands as
well, younger guys.

Nate, from Cruel Hand

and Outbreak was
playing drums for us

for a little bit when
Bob couldn't tour.

Probably for a few years,
I don't know how many tours,

a lot of tours.

All over the world, and the U.S.

Cruel Hand, where I played
guitar in, would tour with them,

and then I'd end up
filling in on guitar.

I think that's
always important.

That's something that
we've learned as well,

like, we always want to
tour with younger bands,

and just be in the mix
with that, like it's fun.

They hit me up.

I was exceptionally
less expensive

than some of their
other options.

Jay was like the
new guy in town,

Jay had done some recordings
that we really liked.

We had these six songs.

But we didn't want to just
put an E.P out on one label.

I got a text message
and it was just like,

"Hey, this is Bedard from Bane,

"would you be
interested in doing

"a three song Bane seven inch?"

What, like, of
course, like what?

Didn't think it was a
reality at all, but we did.

I think it was seven
different releases,

on five different labels.

Every cover of the seven
inch was gonna be different.

Let's have photographers
take a picture,

same time, different
parts of the world.

And that's gonna be the cover,

and the inserts of
these seven inches.

Boston, Dublin,
Tokyo, Perth, LA, Rome,

and I don't know how to
pronounce the one from Brazil.

You know like that was like,

what they were trying to
say to everybody, you know,

Bane is world wide, like
everybody is part of us.

I remember hitting
up Bedard like,

"Yo man, why are these songs
named after like, soap operas?"

The first song was "The
Bold and the Beautiful."

Which was just named that

'cause I thought
it was a cool name.

And the next song I
wrote, I realized,

I can name this a
soap opera name too.

So, here's what I'm gonna do,

I'm gonna write down
every soap opera name,

and then I'm gonna
just write these songs,

and then just draw
lines to them,

to the ones that
seemed to relate.

And it was really an exercise

of not having to come
up with names for songs,

'cause I'm bad at that.

That's the actual truth there.

There are some great songs
on those that didn't get...

Didn't seem to get
much play at the end.

I forget which one is the
dragon song as I know it.

I will believe in dragons,
as long as I run with dragons.

♪ I will believe in dragons ♪

♪ For as long as I
run with dragons ♪

A lot about friendship
and stuff and like

here's what I will always
carry with me, right?

And that's some...

Those are end notes
kind of stuff.

♪ I took the whole damn ride ♪

♪ With my best
friends by my side ♪

♪ And the days turned
into nights and we ♪

♪ Held on with all our might ♪

We tried to do it
in every continent.

Just so it would get out there.

But it just didn't,

it didn't take like we
thought it was gonna.

I think just 'cause of the
way that we released it,

there wasn't any hype around it.

I just think it became
more of a collectors item,

than a listening item.

It was like, it was gonna
be the fucking Wonka bar,

or like a revolutionary
thing but,

no, we're not the
Rolling Stones.

Stu had found he was
expecting his second child.

At that point real
life had really kicked in

and took over.

I left at the end of 2012.

Chris Linkovich
from Cruel Hand,

jumps in and starts
playing bass.

Probably 2013, things were
going good for the band,

but it wasn't like the
same as it had been.

We played a show at the
Palladium in Worcester,

which is a place we've
had some banging shows,

maybe a 150 kids come
out, and it feels like

things are coming
to an end for us.

Personally, like
relationships started

to crumble too,
around that time.

I'm in my 40's, physically
it's getting harder.

We actually decided
to have a meeting,

where we were all
gonna get together,

and have a sit down

and decide what we
were going to do next.

I remember having real
sort of nervous feeling

in the pit of my stomach.

Some people in the band
wanted to go full-time,

or not at all.

We decided then that we
would write our last record,

and we made a bucket list

of all the stuff that
we've wanted to do.

It's admirable to choose
when you want to stop,

and not drive something
into the ground.

But it's just
like, like anything

like a death in the family that
you see coming or whatever,

it's just like,

once it's real, there's
definitely that sadness to it.

Link, had Cruel
Hand obligations,

so he wasn't a part
of writing the record,

or recording the record.

We fooled around
with the idea of

you know, me or Dalbec
playing bass on the record,

cause we didn't know if
Pete was gonna want to write

or be on it.

And I was like,
"Let's just ask him."

And I was like,
"Yeah, of course."

I could really hear
my sort of bass style

like, really fit well with

the newer stuff that
they were writing,

so, I was excited.

We were rehearsing
once a week, every week,

which was exactly how
we did "Give Blood."

And there was just a real
sense of, this is it.

This is the last time were
gonna be doing things like this.

That was the very beginning
of that sensation,

which would become so familiar
for the next two years.

This is the funniest
booking of my life,

Defeater and Bane were
playing This Is Hardcore 2013,

I was hammered, day
drunk, walking around,

just, like, having a good
time, bumped into Zach.

"Hey, we wanna do our last L.P."

"Oh, wow, that's exciting."

"Yeah, so when are you free?"

"Oh. Uh."

Pulled out my phone, I was like,

"Well I've got this month."

"Okay, cool, like
book it, how much?"

I came up with a price,
thought it was very fair,

he was like, "Awesome,
I'm excited."

"Yeah, yeah, I'm excited too."

And then, just walked away,

and was just like,

"I think I just booked
Bane's last L.P?"

One of the most meaningful

and easiest bookings
of my entire career.

We were off the
road for a while,

so, we were all
working full-time,

it was the winter,

so cold, late nights, in a
cold dank practice space.

Writing-wise it
was right at a time

where like the band
was at its lowest.

We had to go do one
tour in the autumn,

we had to go back to
Europe with Power Trip.

It was some of the worst
shows we had ever played.

Like, it was like
kids were over it.

Like you could really
feel the death rattle.

I remember having
a talk with Bedard,

I was like, "Dude If
you're gonna go out,

"go out, go out hard, like
put everything out there."

If you're gonna say things,
you've gotta say them now.

There's no telling that
you're ever gonna have this

captive of an audience again.

Songs like "Final Backward
Glance" were born of that and,

you know, the big one,
was "Wrong Planet."

Every demon you thought
was released on paper,

but the biggest one was
still caged up up until

literally the second to last
song ever written by that band.

There was a voice in my
head saying maybe talk about

being sexually abused as a kid,

maybe you talk about the thing

that you can't talk
about with anyone.

That song is called
"Wrong planet."

Maybe the hardest song
I've ever had to write.

It's about the incredible,

the insane amount of destruction

that can be reigned upon
us, when we're children,

and don't understand anything

and don't understand what
the fuck is going on,

by people who are supposed
to be looking out for us.

And it took me a lot, a
lot of years to realize

the lasting damage that it does.

That it echoes in you, all the
way through your adulthood.

That was really
confessing some stuff

and really bearing myself
in a way that it was scary

and that people are
never going to look at me

the same way again, you
know, people are gonna have,

you know, they're
gonna come up with

a lot of different
notions about me now.

You know, I was at the age
where I didn't need to fit in,

and I didn't really care

about people snickering
behind my back,

or what weird jokes
people were gonna make,

or whatever, you
know I didn't...

That stuff wasn't gonna
affect me the way it may have,

even 10 years before,
never mind 20.

I never told anyone in Bane

that I had gone
through that as a boy.

It was very seldom
that they would say,

"Oh, you know can I
read what you wrote?"

But this was different,
this I needed to warn them

and to make sure that there
wasn't gonna be a member

who would feel
maybe uncomfortable

about singing about
something so personal.

He had written the lyrics out,

I remember when he was
like handing it around,

that his hand was like shaking.

You could tell he was nervous,

and that's weird, to see
Aaron Bedard nervous.

I think there's
really not much that

we don't know about each
other, and you know.

For that to come out 15 plus
years later, it's like, woah.

Obviously everyone
was very supportive

and very proud of me,

and very sad for me.

If those lyrics
changed, or help,

not even change, but
like help one person cope

with something like that then,

that's all that matters.

♪ And if you look ♪

♪ You can see me ♪

♪ Grasping for a world ♪

♪ That makes some sense ♪

♪ Where through the dark ♪

♪ There waits the light ♪

That's one of those songs,
that when they played that,

like, it was hard not to cry.

And watching, just through
this glass right here.

Watching Aaron sing that
and know what it's about,

and being able to relate myself.

Like everything he's saying,

I mean that's like,
from my life too.

Once the song was done,
and we fit it to music,

things...

Everything after
that felt easier.

The fact that he put pen to
paper and he just let it out,

like, I know that
feeling of relief,

and I can't imagine
how relieved he felt

once that song was written.

And then there
was "Calling Hours."

"Calling Hours" was
really like, Zach's baby.

He wanted to bring in
some other energies vocally,

That is very common in hardcore,

to do something that
we had never done.

So, he told me he
wanted to have Dave,

and Walter, and Reba on it.

And said like "Hey, I would
love to have you on this."

I was like, "that's totally
incredible and awesome."

And then he said,

"I want you folks to like,
write your own lyrics."

You put me on a track
with those people,

I'm just like, "Fuck man,"

and I gotta write my
own fucking lines?

Great, pressure's on.

Now we have to
write this song.

Now we have to figure
out how to do this.

Zack hadn't really
written his song yet.

You know, his farewell to Bane.

That song was so sad

that I didn't think it
was gonna be a Bane song

when I originally wrote
the guitar parts to it.

I was scared, I was like,

"This is probably
too emotional for us

"and too slow, and whatever."

Should this be the song
that we have all these sort of

hardcore super
stars be a guest on,

this very sort of
unconventional hardcore song?

I don't think that the
other vocalists in that song

expected that kind of
song to come their way.

Pat would come by,
and he had mentioned

that he wanted to work
with us on a song.

This is a really cool chance
for us to have a new voice,

in to our little circle.

They would decide to
announce they were breaking up

before the record came out.

If that was public knowledge,

and it's such a
structured public death,

than why not maybe have a song

that is kind of like an actual
"Calling Hours", like a wake?

Wally and Pat
are great friends,

we've been great
friends for years.

And David Wood from

Down to Nothing and I are
really, really good friends.

I'll give him the verse with me,

and Zach would handle
the end with Reba.

So, everyone is sort of
paired off with a partner

and all set out to do
our respective parts.

I didn't like the thought of
me having to write something

about letting someone go,

when the whole time,
this band has told you to

hold on to everything
as long as you can.

It wasn't that I was sad to
let go, I was more angry.

'Cause it's easier to be angry
than to be sad and understand

why people have to go.

♪ You told me to
give everything ♪

♪ And now your tired ♪

♪ Well let's get loud ♪

♪ And go out with open fire ♪

Bane always took me
to hard and dark places

in my life that I
think human beings

need to go to, to like confront.

I decided to kind of confront
some issues in my own life

with the loss of my father.

♪ Are our fathers
forever still ♪

♪ Will our mothers only weep ♪

♪ Does the dream of yesterday ♪

♪ Come true from a prayer ♪

♪ On our knees ♪

Bedard had sent me
the lyrics to the song

and I kinda tried to
really get into his head

and understand
what it was about.

And then just kind of tried
to see through his eyes

and write what I
would think, you know,

would be like my way of
looking at what he was saying.

When those do pass, or
that band does break up

or whatever, you've
learned so much from them,

it's like they
never really leave,

and you always
have them with you.

That was really cool
for me to be able

to be part of that
song for that reason.

We were in the studio,
songs were written,

lyrics were done for other songs

and this song was
still being created.

At some points it was like,

"This is just gonna fall apart."

Wally had to do his
part in California,

Reba had to do her
part in Pittsburgh,

David did his part
down in Richmond.

Reba's part, was the last part.

That was a huge day,
we really felt like

you know, that was
the record being done

was when "Calling Hours"
finally came together

after weeks and
weeks of tweaking it,

and waiting for other
people to come through.

And they all did,
everyone came through.

When we play it live,

it's just as emotional as
when I sat there and wrote it.

♪ Forget the who, the what,
the when, the where, the why ♪

♪ Deep down inside
I know I tried ♪

♪ Did you love something ♪

♪ With all of your might ♪

One of the
proudest moments was

the end result of
"Don't Wait Up."

The pressure we put
on ourselves to make

what we knew was our final
record, amplified it.

It was really
meaningful to me,

to be able to be a part of that.

And, like having actually
exceptionally intelligent,

well educated conversations,
about a hardcore record.

About like, making a hardcore
record the best it can be,

and like really sealing
off this legacy.

Dan McCarthy is

the guy that drew the
cover of "Don't Wait Up."

I think it's perfect.

We wanted a sad feeling,
that's what we got.

This is "Don't Wait Up"
'cause we're not coming home.

♪ This is my final ♪

♪ Backward glance ♪

When "Don't Wait Up" came out,

it was number 86 on
billboard top 200,

and number 17 on Independent
Albums, the first week.

That's pretty amazing
to have a record plaque,

saying you were in
the Billboard Top 200.

If it was like 30 years ago,

we'd be in my mansion right now.

But since kids don't
buy records anymore,

we're in my two
bed room apartment.

So we recorded
"Don't Wait Up,"

knowing that Pete was never
going to tour with us.

And thank God, we got
James Siboni who...

James was in a band
called Casey Jones,

and we had toured with
them over in Europe.

Young, talented, down to
earth, funny, loved to hang,

great stage presence,
solid bass player.

As a drummer, you always look
for that solid rhythm section.

You know, I say that everyone
is like the sweetest guy,

but James is like,

really the sweetest
guy in the whole world.

Zack had posted
something on Instagram,

or I guess probably Facebook.

That they were doing
some East Coast shows.

I thought, cool, I'm gonna
ask if I can roll with them,

and just hangout in the van,

and do merch, whatever they
need me to do, just hanging out.

So, I texted Bedard and I said,

"Yo, I'm gonna try
and roll with you guys

"to those east coast dates."

He said, "So, what's up man?

"Hows life?"

I thought that was the
strangest text message.

And I said, "I don't
know man, life's fine."

You know, I'm like, "I got
this girl, and this house."

"I don't want to fuck up the
things that you have going on,

"but I just wanted
you to know that

"you are on the short list."

"What the fuck are
you talking about?

"The short list for what?"

Well, "Bane needs
a new bass player."

"Yo, motherfucker,
keep me on that list!

"I wanna be on that list!"

"If you want it,
you can have it,

"I'm placing this in your lap.

"I'm throwing the list
away, if you want this gig.

"It sounds like life
is so good right now,

"I don't wanna mess that up."

"Let me be the judge of
that, I want to join Bane!"

He said "I don't know man.

"I want you to think about it,

I want you to think about it
like a week or something."

This is all via text, this
isn't even a phone call.

It's like a text, and I'm like,
kind of like, losing my mind.

"I don't need to think
about it for a week Bedard!

"I'm telling you yes right now!"

And he said, "No, no, no, no.

"Think about it for a week."

And I said, "okay."

That week, I just started
learning Bane songs.

I just was like,
I'm doing this now,

and there's no turning back,
I don't care what they say.

And then a week goes
by, and he texts me,

and he says "So,
what did you decide?"

And I was like, "I'm down!"

And he said, "Aw,
I thank God, dude.

"That's what I've been
stressing out about it!

"I've been wondering,
are you gonna be down?"

I was like, "I'm so happy to
hear you say you're down!"

And I was like, "It
was never an issue.

"I didn't think about it."

And I said yeah, and
I learned these songs.

And he said, "Oh shit, perfect."

I joined Bane in 2014.

I did everything
for "Don't wait Up."

We went to Japan, to Australia,

to Europe, I think two
or maybe three times.

Did a U.S release of it,

a few fests here and
there, of another tour,

and then the final tour
so, I did a good amount.

We had a really
busy last few years.

Yesterday in
Baltimore, it was like,

"Okay, I'm gonna book
these hotels for Philly."

And then it was like,

"These are the last
hotels I'm ever booking,

"for Bane to sleep ever."

For some reason that
hit me really hard.

It became a reality

just by some little stupid
thing like that, you know.

Like, really feeling
like the end is coming.

And I'm scared of it, but,

I've been preparing myself
for a long time now, so.

It's the second and third
to last shows of this tour,

in Philly, at the
Unitarian Church.

That's a special room for us.

That church, we've been
going to that church

for a lot of years.

It is a Unitarian church,

so, there's no
Jesus and disciples,

but like, for our scene,
it's Mecca, it's our place.

Philly has almost
been Bane's second home

but, it's almost felt
like Bane's first home

for the last five
years especially.

Philadelphia, we're Bane,
let's fucking do this.

I decided to crowd walk,
I guess you could say,

and then there was a giant
fall where I fell backwards,

and I specifically remember
while I was falling, going,

"Wow, this is a long
fall, this is gonna hurt,"

and then I landed on
the edge of the monitor.

But it didn't seem
to hurt at the time,

but it hurts really bad now.

Everybody's eyes and
heart were on that stage,

and that was something special.

Whenever the crowd
connects to us,

and we connect to the crowd,

it's like, the
most special to me.

And last night it had
a lot of those moments.

♪ When Armageddon's ♪

♪ Been locked and loaded ♪

♪ I will come back for you ♪

♪ I will come back for you ♪

So, we are at the last
Philadelphia Bane appearance.

So, for me tonight, I
say goodbye to friends.

I say to guys who
came into this,

like, "Oh, this is Joe and
he's a little fucking crazy,"

and now we're friends,
we get excited,

they know the hijinx, we
set up for their shows.

We look forward to these
specific shows because,

these guys played many shows,

they've fucking, toured
the goddamned world,

they've probably played in
canoes off of Maui somewhere.

But Philadelphia is
special for them,

and Bane is special for me,

and I don't know if
I have another band,

despite the 20 years
of me booking shows,

despite the 10 years
of this is hardcore,

I don't have another fucking
band to look forward to

like I do with
Bane, and I'm sad.

That's it, I love you guys.

Our relationship with
this city would not exist

if it wasn't for his hard work,

this first song is
dedicated to Joe.

It's called "Superhero."

All the friends
that we have there,

and the friends that came
down from Massachusetts.

Everybody wanted to be there,

but for me, it was like
everybody needed to be there,

you know.

Almost like, I need
their support system

at the end of this run.

3/4 of the members that
had ever been in Bane

were there last night.

Our original bass
player, Pete Chilton,

and then the dude that took
his place, Stu was there,

they all got up and played
songs over the weekend.

♪ This is the final ♪

♪ Backward glance ♪

♪ This is the final ♪

♪ Backward glance ♪

I kinda had to recognize
for the first time,

that this is the end of Bane.

Really put some
things together that

I didn't wanna come
face to face with,

and it's...

It's weird.

I think that was
the hardest show

of the whole tour for me.

Our friend, Justin
Naidoo was right up front

the whole time singing,
and for some reason that,

that got me on the last song.

I Kinda broke down on stage but,

it's a good thing I can
say I'm glad we're sad

instead of happy to be done.

Philadelphia.

Thank you, thank you.

We have been Bane.

And here we are,
two years later,

that went by in a
blink of an eye.

I never ever had time
to get that strong,

to get that brave.

Even when I crawled in the
van back at the end of march

to do this tour, I thought
it would eventually kick in,

it would eventually hit
me that this is really it.

We're at Webster hall,
at the final show of the

final, final, final,
final Bane tour.

It's pretty surreal to
finally be at the end.

Checked out of a hotel this
morning, something we've done

thousands and
thousands of times,

and we will never do it under
those circumstances again,

you know, it will
never be us guys,

and that's fucking
me up a little bit.

I was parking the
van before the show,

when we had to move
the van and I like,

slightly bumped this other car,

and like the cops came
and all this stuff.

And we we're going
on like 20 minutes.

Big Bob comes running by,

and hands me my
keys, and was like,

"You gotta go to the show
now, I'll figure this out,"

and I was like, "Why the
fuck do you have my keys?"

And then it clicked,

holy shit, Jennifer
is here with Scout.

I mean it was such
an amazing surprise,

I mean it was only
like 4 and a 1/2 weeks,

or whatever it was,
but it seemed like

an eternity at the same time.

Standing inside Webster Hall,

and I just like, look
out at this empty hall,

and then my friend Ricky
from Backtrack comes up,

and were just kind of talking
and shooting the shit,

then I hear this, what I thought
was an asshole whistling.

I gave him a big whistle,

and he didn't catch it at first
and then I whistled again,

and then he turned
and looked at me.

I was just like,
"That's my dad,"

like, "Oh my God."

He didn't know I was coming.

I just went up and hugged
and started crying immediately.

He was at my first show
ever, so he felt like

he just kinda had to
be at my last show.

So, in those moments
you like, you know,

when you're so sad,

and like kind of just
confused in life,

and it's like you want your
dad or your mom to be there,

and for me to just turn
around and all of a sudden

have him be there was,
insanely special to me.

Trying to be in the moment,
trying to be present for this,

trying not to let the emotions

what, you know, tear me apart.

This is a heavy night but
we wanna try and make it fun,

we want everyone to come
in here, sing dance,

get loose with us, let's
just turn this into a party

and we will mourn later.

Thank you very, very, very
much for being here tonight.

This first song is
called "Speechless."

♪ Fuck yeah I am
still holding on ♪

I'm a little bent out of
shape at them, you know,

I don't want them to go away,

I mean, I get it, 20
years is a long time,

and there's only so
long you can do this.

I wish I had some
sort of profound

or articulate things to say
about dealing with endings,

dealing with change,
dealing with saying goodbye.

I really know that I should
be better at that stuff,

and I'm not, I have
a lot of problems

when it comes to
change or letting go

of the things I love the most.

And I've never
loved anything else,

there's nothing
in my life I loved

as much as being in this band.

New York city,

let's go.

♪ I can still see the reasons ♪

♪ That I opened my eye to this
scene in the first place ♪

♪ I can feel my beliefs
growing stronger ♪

♪ Stronger everyday ♪

New York, thank
you so fucking much.

When you start a band,

at first it's a very
fun, and almost organic.

Like, you write these songs,

you don't really
care about structure,

and then through time
you kinda see yourself

become musicians somehow.

Not on purpose but just
'cause you just wanna

be a better version of yourself,

so, you do that with your band.

It's something you
fall in love with.

Love becomes this
infatuation with your band,

and then you become
addicted to it.

This isn't necessarily
a relationship

with the people in your band,

this is a relationship with
the energy and the time

and the sacrifices you made.

I go back and
forth between regret,

like, sort of wishing that we
had made a different decision

so that we could
still be a band.

I was woefully unprepared
for how hard it was gonna be

to have that sense
of purpose lifted.

I think when the band
decided to break up,

it felt right probably.

And then as time went on,

and we really, really
were so connected,

and everyone was
on the same page,

and the shows leading up
to the end were so good,

and the response to the
final record was good,

I think that it was
just kind of a mistake,

I really do, I honestly
think that Bane breaking up

when we did was a mistake.

I go up there and give it
my all with four other people

that give it their
all, every single night

and
I'm real worried

that I'm never gonna
find that again.

I can't really even remember
what my relationship was

to the world, and my free time,

and sort of my sense of place

in the world before Bane.

Bane has been my life for
21 years, you know like,

it's been all I've known really.

I mean, it's the only
constant that I've had.

I wish I could
write two more years,

I wish we would have wrote a
longer story for an ending,

'cause this ending sucks.

Years ago when we said
well be done, you know,

approximately this time,
it seemed forever away.

We were like, "Yeah, it's in
three years, two, three years.

"That's a long time."

We're here

Masterman's, this
is kind of the team

that's been behind a lot of
the Bane screen printing.

I used to do a lot
of this for Bane

out of my dad's garage,

and it would take
me forever to do it.

This is actually the final shirt

that they're doing right now.

It's exclusive to
the final show.

We're the worst band in
the world to work with

as far as getting everything
to them the last minute,

so, I think I've got
them all the final stuff

like maybe a week ago.

And then it comes
out the other end,

the back,

and the front.

That's all she wrote.

I tried to get the final show

at the House of Blues in Boston,

with, you know, no barricade.

Got pretty far up
the chain,

got there before
it was squished.

I tried to help facilitate
a different venue,

like maybe a skating
rink, or a hall,

or somewhere else to
try to accommodate

two to 3000 people,

which in the city of Boston
is really hard to find.

There was a little voice
inside of me that knew

it's gonna be right
fucking here in Worcester,

at the Palladium.

When we announced the
final show in June,

it sold in something
like three hours.

And it just felt like we
gotta do another if we can,

and when the Palladium
stepped forward and said,

we can give you the day before,

So we were thinking
that we'd do something

kind of fun tonight,

and start this set with the
first song that we ever wrote,

the first song on our demo tape,

and then play straight
through till the last song

from "Don't Wait Up."

This song is called
"Lay The Blame."

I think the thing
about hardcore music,

is that it actually does
what all the great meditation

traditions try to do.

Is they try to take
people into a space

where they're completely
in the moment.

And they're totally
free of thought

of anything else
happening anywhere else,

and I feel like Bane
did that really well.

It was okay on Friday, you
were able to deal with it,

'cause it's not the end yet.

So, that made it a
little bit easier,

I'm glad there was two shows.

Are you
sad to see Bane go?

Yes kind of, but the
part of it I'm also happy

because it's gonna be my dad
not going away as much anymore.

I came with a
group from Germany.

I took all my money
and come to U.S.

It's been a hard
flight to be honest.

'Cause you know that
it's the last time

that you're coming
over here for this,

and it's the last
time that you're gonna

be with all those people
in the same place.

It means everything to me,

so, I just want to be part
of the last show of Bane.

I kinda want the power
in the building to go out,

'cause I'm definitely
not ready to say goodbye.

It's gonna be an emotional
night for a lot of us.

This is a day I've
been day dreaming about

on different levels.

Staring out the
window of the van

trying to imagine what
this is gonna feel like.

I'm having a hard time looking
my band members in the eye

'cause I feel really
right on the cusp

of just falling apart,

or of doing something
desperate like running away.

Surrounded with friends,
people who care about me.

That are gonna care
about me tomorrow

as much as they cared
about me yesterday.

I have to keep that in mind.

It's a beautiful thing
and also a sad thing.

It's not just one band
that sings about shoes,

well, they do sing about
shoes sometimes but, you know.

Nine, 10, 11,
12, 13, 14 songs.

I have no problem
adding two more

and then saying
two for an encore.

It's the last show, just
do everything you can.

Seriously

I mean, as ridiculous as it
sounds, that's 19 right there,

and if we can add In Pieces
and three short songs,

yes, that's 23 songs, but the
short songs are like one song.

Let's just fucking,
like he said fucking.

What are you holding back for?

That feels like,

you just don't want to
be up there for too long.

- It's your last night,
- This is thee show.

At the Web I didn't
want it to end.

I literally was like, I would
have played five more songs

at the Webster, so
let's do it all. Okay?

Let's just do it all.

We have like a 24
song set list tonight.

I'm hoping we hate each other
by the end of the set list.

But I've been hoping
that for three years now,

and it hasn't happened yet, so.

What's up everyone?

So, I'm afraid that we're
gonna have to start this

on a bit of somber note,

or maybe we can look at
it as something to put

this whole deal into
bit of perspective.

In the week leading
up to the final shows,

James' mother became sick.

And she kind of
down played it.

And I was like, "Is it
something serious going on?"

She said, "No no,
I don't think so."

And the next day she called me

and she said, "Hey, can
you come over and talk?"

This may have been
a day or two days

before we were leaving
for Costa Rica.

I drove to her house,
and she's like,

"The doctor told me I have
cancer, and it's serious.

"And it's the kind of
cancer that doesn't

"have a great survival rate."

So, of course that's
a nightmare, you know.

And I was like, "Okay,
well what do we do now?"

you know, and she's like,
"Well we do chemo or whatever,

"and we just do our best, we
just struggle through it."

I was just gonna
live in the hospital,

literally, just
like sleeping there.

So, I called Zach from
the hospital I remember,

and I was like, "Hey man,

"I don't think I'm
gonna go to Costa Rica"

And this was like literally
like really last minute.

And then while they were there,
in Costa Rica, my Mom died.

It was the fastest thing ever.

She was diagnosed
with cancer on Tuesday

and not even a week
later, she was gone.

I called Zach and
I called Bedard,

the day she died, sitting in
the hallway of the hospital,

crying on the phone,

Bedard who's crying in the
other end from Costa Rica.

No one in the band knows
this, or knew this,

but I had decided I wasn't
gonna do the final show.

It just wasn't
gonna work you know,

we had a funeral to plan,

we had a lot of
stuff to organize.

So, my Mom's brothers and
sisters were around a little bit.

They all like freaked
out on me like,

"You gotta fucking
go and do your thing.

"You're gonna go
to Massachusetts,

"You're gonna play those
shows with your band,

"that's important, it's what
your Mom would've wanted,

"there's no way she would
have stopped you from that,

"no matter what happened."

And I knew they were right.

I totally agreed she was
really supportive always of

music stuff, and she loved Bane.

I think it was good
for me emotionally

to get kind of shoved into
talking with my friends,

and being around my friends.

And I got to pour
some shit out on

and they were there to listen
to me pour some shit out.

I need to dedicate
this entire set,

to our bass player James
Siboni's mother, Twink Wilson,

who passed away on Monday.

James needed to be
here to do this.

He needed to be
here with all of us.

This entire set goes
out to her memory,

and I'd like to ask

if we could have moment
of silence for her,

and then let's set this off.

Felt respectful,
it felt appropriate.

You know, when
you're in mourning,

and had a loss, I
had a loss like that,

you wanna be around
your friends, you know.

And all of my friends,
you know, 2000 of them,

are all in the same place.

If I hadn't done the
last shows with Bane,

God, I think that would be
the biggest regret ever.

Can we

Start again

Everyone.

Go back to
what it meant back then

Can I be.

Open minds
and open hearts

The things that set us apart

♪ Can we ♪

♪ Start again ♪

You know, my favorite shows,
no matter what the venue,

no matter what the
size of the shows,

well, there were kids on
all sides of the stage.

Or there are kids, you know,
just bam, behind the drums

where everywhere I look, I'm
fucking singing to someone.

To see the Palladium
filled up like that,

is like a rare thing, for
a hardcore show especially.

I look up, and the
fifty people on stage,

I know every face,

and I've seen every
face a thousand times.

And I've got people
that have jumped on me

a thousand times jumping on me.

It was a very
positive vibe in there,

and just seeing the stage,

being, you know, filled with
people and family and friends.

It was definitely
hitting home that

this is gonna be the last time,

well that songs gone,
that songs gone.

I've never been
to a hardcore show

like that my entire life.

I've never seen a band
have so many songs

that people lost their mind for.

I can't say anything has
ever touched me emotionally

or at the scope of what
that last Bane show was.

I ran out of steam.

You know, I just
couldn't keep up.

There's only so many
stage dives you can get in

in that time, I needed
more water I think.

When I got to
the show, Zack said

"You should play
"Count Me Out" with us."

I hadn't been in the
band really since 1998

so, that was a
special moment for me.

As an adult looking back at
what was sort of the beauty

and the magic of what
hardcore was about,

was really that there was this
incredible sense of community

and that has never left us.

And I feel like they
were able to inspire

more of that within the scene.

There were 2,500
people in that room.

For me one of the proudest
thing is that Bane became

a unifier of so
many good people.

They're leaving their
legacy of the music

and the people they met,
the friendships they made,

and all the bands
they toured with.

But it's really about family.

That's the legacy they have
built this gigantic family

of people that I wish
I could see everyday.

Even just you
know going to shows

and meeting friends from
out of town and stuff.

That stuff goes
with you for life.

The hours and the miles and
the time spent seeing them,

hanging out with them,

you know, those things
are indispensable.

They've taught me things
in crowded rooms that

teachers have never taught me,

that coaches have
never taught me.

Take them out of the equation,

I wouldn't be here.

I don't think anyone could
ever they do what they did,

the way they did it.

But I think they
definitely taught us all

how to be in a band,
and be a good person,

and do it for the right
reasons, you know.

Bane will live forever
because of the impact

they've made on all
of us, all of us

damn kids who
couldn't find home,

and couldn't find a place to go,

and then they stumbled
into a hardcore scene

and then they
stumbled onto Bane,

we're all better because of it.

In between the tornadoes

and stomped on
untrue love letters,

there will be those
shining, gentle moments,

like the last page in
your favorite book.

Thank you for bringing
all of this into my life

and for giving me all of
these shining gently moments

that I've had for
these past 20 years.

- Thank you.
- Thank you.

- Thank you.
- Thank you so fucking much.

Thank you.

Thank you,

Thank you.

Thank you for the 18
years of friendship.

- Thank you,
- Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you for fucking
being the raddest dudes ever.

- Thank you.
- Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you for making
me the person I am

whether you know it or not.

- Thank you.
- Thank you.

Thank you guys.

Thank you for everything.

Thank you Bane

Thank you Bane.

Thank you Bane.

Thank you Bane.

Kids think that we are
this band that moves them,

and are a big part
in their lives,

but they don't understand that
we are just as moved by them

and that they are
just as important

if not more important to
us than we are to them.

Seeing them in the beginning
and seeing them in the end,

I mean, they've just stayed
true to what they wanted to do

and what it meant to each other.

They are this
ecliptic group of guys,

that somehow found each other

and decided to play
music with each other,

and they've loved it,
every minute of it.

It was never a chore to them,

it was never like,
it was their job,

but it was a job they loved.

And they respected and realized

how fortunate they
were to do that.

And how fortunate they were to
have people care about them.

And they realized that this
is lightening in a bottle,

and it can go away,

and they held onto it.

Do it.

Do it.

Do it.

- Do it.
- Watch out.

We had a cookout the next day,

two days after that, we all
went to a baseball game.

I was looking at Bobby and Zach

from across a few rows
of the baseball stadium,

I felt really sad, I felt

those are guys I used
to be in a band with.

That was sort of the great
catalyst to the grand plan,

of "Don't Wait Up",
two years of touring,

and then one final show.

There were members of the
band that weren't looking

to have that
conversation at all.

That were just maybe
needing it to be understood

that we should
slow down a little,

and maybe not say
yes to every tour,

and that some guys had some
great responsibilities,

and I was terribly stubborn.

I was really either
we do it or we don't.

I'm either in this
band, or I'm not.

And there are days now
where I think of that guy

and I kinda want to smack
him upside the head because,

I have reoccurring dreams all
the time that Bane has a show,

that there's a show coming up,
and the feeling of that is,

of waking up from
that is really hard.

It's gonna be
interesting to see how...

How we function without
it in our lives.

It still hasn't quite a
100% sunk in yet.

You know, but, I'm just
gonna miss the whole thing,

everybody, everything.

I miss us being in the van.

I miss leaving at Denny's
at four in the morning

about to start a
12-hour overnight drive.

Knowing we're in this van with

four other people
you love the most.

They helped me through the
darkest times of my life,

and I get to share the best
times of my life with them.

The absolute,
absolute pinnacles.

Every high point that just
was way up there in the red

was because of them.

I'll love them forever
because of that.

I think in the end,
Bane was everything that

I wanted a hardcore band to be,

and I was lucky enough
to be a part of it.

I love you, and thanks.

Thanks for taking
a chance on me,

I was a huge fan,
and I still am.

So, thank you.

I had the best times
of my life with you guys.

You've been next to me,
through all joys and pains.

We have done some of the
coolest shit together

that anybody could ask
for and I love you all,

and I wanna make sure that
my parents are recognized

for the unconditional
support in my playing career.

Thanks to the dudes
in Bane for having me.

Thanks everyone who was involved

for making Bane
like such a special

and relevant thing to our lives.

You all mean the world to me,

and I would never have
been able to do this

without every single one of you.

It's not the end
for us for sure,

but it's the end of this
chapter, and I love you all.

You have been exactly
the person that I needed

to be on that stage with,
and that studio with,

in that van with, and
that one hotel room with,

if we had a hotel room,

and I love you all so much.

You guys still owe
me $87 for parking.

Thanks for letting
me do all the work.

This is bad 'cause I'm getting
pissed for all those years.

Thank you for believing in me,

and making me laugh
every single day.

At the end of the day
we were a hardcore band

we got up on stage and
tried to give it our all,

and tried to pay tribute
to the spirit of the bands

that made us want
to be in bands.

We had no idea the
places that we would go,

the people we would meet.

The life-long friends
that we were gonna make,

and it was just by
far exceeded anything

we could expect to
happen in our lives.

We hold those moments

closer than we can
ever imagine we could,

and it's harder than
ever to let them go.

♪ What's done is done ♪

♪ The night takes ♪

♪ Everyone ♪

For me like I said earlier...

Don't say that, just, start
it like a whole new thing.

Is he directing, are you
directing, who's directing here?

Hey he's helping,
I appreciate him.

Nobody likes the back
street boys anymore,

and they were the biggest
thing in the fucking world,

you know, so it's
like, no offense,

if you need a bass player
or a guitar player,

I'm your man

Basically
we're gonna start

with the California shows,

and then work our way up to now.

Weirdest Bane song?

Fuck, any one that Zach
starts singing a lot.

They transferred a dog's
jaw bone into my jaw.

Oh, did they?

Yeah, touch it

I love Zach.

And I like his singing too,

but like some of those songs

like he just, he just go like,

Like "Really doing this?"

Yeah, they're
doing, alright cool.

Bane in one word to me,
is energy, pure energy.

well, that's two, but...

That's two, you gotta go
back, you gotta redo that.

- Yeah.
- One word.

You can do yours then
first, how about that?

Mine would be pure energy.

As long as you say I love
you after you shit talk,

I think it's fine to
say whatever you say.

That's the rule, right?

So, I was in this car accident

and I broke my jaw, and had
to get a bone transplant,

and they took it from a dog.

You wanna feel it?

No

You know.

What are you
doing here?

Hi baby!

Well, this is awkward.

Don't worry, I'm just saying
hi and then I'm leaving.

Hi Beautiful

♪ Happy birthday dear Bane ♪

♪ Happy birthday to you ♪

Bands were coming out, and
people were wearing make up,

and they were going
to metal rock,

and doing this and that,
they kept their thing pure.

Matt, do you have a
problem with that?

No.

What the fuck man?

I'm trying to have
a moment here.

I agree with you,
Bane never wore makeup.

Do you have a
favorite Bane story,

like your favorite show story?

I remember my best friend,
went and did a stage dive,

and I had never
done a stage dive,

I thought that was mind
blowing that he did that.

So, I like got up the
courage to get up there,

climbed up on stage,
went to go to jump off,

and the crowd just pushed
me back on the stage,

and probably the most
embarrassing moment of my life.

That's
your greatest story?

Yeah, it was the first
thing I could think of.