Hocus Pocus (1993) - full transcript
300 years have passed since the Sanderson sisters were executed for practicing dark witchcraft. Returning to life thanks to a combination of a spell spoken before their demise and the accidental actions of Max, the new-kid-in-town, the sisters have but one night to secure their continuing existence...
-(DOG BARKING)
-(WHINNYING)
-(CLUCKING)
-(BLEATING)
Emily? Emily!
♪SARAH: (SINGING) Come, little children
♪I'll take thee away
♪-Into a land
♪-Emily!
♪Of enchantment
♪Come, little children
♪The time's come
Elijah, Elijah!
Has thee seen my sister, Emily?
Nay. But look!
They conjure.
Oh, God. The woods!
(GIRL GIGGLING)
THACKERY: Emily!
-Now she's done for.
-Not yet!
You wake my father,
summon the elders. Go!
THACKERY: Emily!
(EXCLAIMS)
(GRUNTING)
(PANTING)
(GIRL GIGGLES)
Come, child.
(WOMAN CACKLING)
Oh, yes.
(WHISPERING) Emily.
(GASPS)
Oh, look. Another glorious morning.
It makes me sick!
-Sisters!
-Yes, Winnie.
We're coming, Winnie, right away.
Sorry.
Must have been an imp.
My darling.
My little book.
We must continue with our spell now
that our little guest of honor has arrived.
Wake up. Wake up, darling.
Oh, come along, darling. There you are.
(EXCLAIMS) Mary!
Right here, Winnie, right here. Sorry.
Hello, hello.
-I notice sister Sarah isn't helping.
-I lured the child here.
Leave her be.
-She hath done her chore.
-You're right, I'm wrong.
(HISSES)
All right.
'Tis time!
(GASPS)
There it is. Bring to a full rolling bubble.
Add two drops oil of boil.
I got it, it's heavy.
You do that, I'll do this.
WINNIE: Mix blood of owl
with the herb that's red.
Turn three times,
pluck a hair from my head.
Add a dash of pox
and a dead man's toe.
Dead man's toe
and make it a fresh one.
Dead man's toe!
Dead man's toe. Add a dead man's toe.
Dead man's toe.
Dead, dead, dead, dead, dead, dead.
(SNIFFS) Fresh one.
-Dead, dead, dead.
-Dead man's toe and a...
(MARY SNICKERING)
Will you two stop that?
-I need to concentrate.
-Sorry.
She needs to concentrate.
(GASPS)
WINNIE: Newt saliva...
-I smell a child.
-Nah, what dost thou call that?
-A child?
-Hmm!
Sisters! Gather 'round.
-One thing more and all is done.
-Yeah?
Add a bit of thine own tongue.
(CAULDRON HISSING)
Oh, Winnie, thou art divine.
'Tis ready for tasting.
One drop of this
and her life will be mine.
-I mean, ours.
-Yes.
All right, girl.
Open up your mouth.
-No!
-(GASPING) A boy!
-Get him, you fools!
-I got him. I knew I smelled a boy.
Come on. Come to mama.
-Get away from my cauldron!
-Come on.
(GRUNTING)
(WINNIE SCREAMING)
My potion!
Emily!
(GROANING)
(BARKS)
Winnie.
Winnie. Look.
Sisters, prepare thyselves.
'Tis her life force. The potion works.
Take my hands. We will share her.
Oh, Winnie, how generous of thee.
(ALL INHALING)
(ALL SIGHING)
(BURPING)
SARAH: Sisters! Behold!
I am beautiful!
Boys will love me!
We're young! (LAUGHING)
Oh, well, younger.
-But it's a start!
-(ALL LAUGHING)
Sisters!
Winifred, thou art a mere sprig of a girl.
Liar! But I shall be a sprig forever,
once I suck the life out
of all the children in Salem.
-Let's brew another batch.
-You hag!
There are not enough children in the
world to make thee young and beautiful.
-Hag.
-Uh-oh.
Sisters, did you hear
what he called you?
Whatever shall we do with him?
Let's barbecue and filet him.
Hang him on a hook
and let me play with him?
No! Book?
Darling, come to Mummy.
Yes. His punishment
must be more fulsome,
more lingering.
Dazzle me, my darling.
Let's see, amnesia,
bunions, chilblains, cholera.
We can do better than that, I think.
Let's see what we have.
Perfect!
As usual.
-His punishment shall not be to die...
-No?
...but to live forever with his guilt.
-BOTH: As what, Winnie, as what?
-Jump back!
Twist the bones and bend the back.
Itch-it-a-cop-it-a, Mel-a-ka-mys-ti-ca.
Trim him of his baby fat.
Itch-it-a-cop-it-a, Mel-a-ka-mys-ti-ca.
Give him fur black as black.
-Just...
-Like...
This!
(GROANING)
(CAT YOWLING)
(HISSES)
(BARKING)
-(CAT HISSES)
-(SCREAMS)
(KNOCKING)
MAN: Open!
Witches! Daughters of darkness!
Open this door!
-Hide the child!
-The child!
Witches?
There be no witches here, sir.
Don't get your knickers in a twist.
We are just three kindly
old spinster ladies.
Spending a quiet evening at home.
Sucking the lives out of little children!
(SCREAMING)
-Winifred Sanderson?
-Yes?
-I will ask thee one final time.
-Yes?
What hast thou done
with my son, Thackery?
-Thackery?
-Answer me!
Well, I don't know.
Cat's got my tongue!
(ALL LAUGHING)
-(THUNDER BREAKING)
-(MEOWS)
(WITCHES LAUGHING)
Listen. This is terribly uncomfortable.
Sisters, sing.
(ALL HARMONIZING)
♪WITCHES: Thrice I with mercury purify
♪-and spit upon the 12 tables
♪-MAN: Don't listen. Cover your ears!
Listen to them not!
Fools! All of you!
My ungodly book speaks to you.
On All Hallows' Eve
when the moon is round,
a virgin will summon us
from under the ground.
(LAUGHING)
We shall be back!
And the lives of all
the children shall be mine!
(CROWD EXCLAIMS)
(MEOWING)
Away!
Away, beast!
WOMAN: Poor Thackery Binx.
Neither his father, his mother,
nor anyone else,
ever knew what became of him
those 300 years ago.
And so, the Sanderson sisters
were hanged by the Salem townfolk.
Now, there are those who say
that on Halloween night,
a black cat still guards
the old Sanderson house,
warning off any
who might make the witches
come back to life.
-(YELLS)
-(SCREAMS)
-(LAUGHING)
-(CLASS LAUGHING)
Gimme a break.
We seem to have a skeptic in our midst.
Mr. Dennison,
would you care to share your California,
laid-back, tie-dyed, point of view?
Okay.
Granted that you guys here in Salem
are all into these black cats
and witches and stuff.
-Stuff?
-(CLASS GRUMBLING)
Fine.
But everyone here knows
that Halloween was invented
by the candy companies.
-(GASPS)
-It's a conspiracy.
It just so happens that Halloween
is based on the ancient feast
called All Hallows' Eve.
It's the one night of the year where the
spirits of the dead can return to Earth.
Well said, Allison.
Well, in case Jimi Hendrix
shows up tonight, here's my number.
(CLASS EXCLAIMING)
(BELL RINGING)
GIRL: Hey, wait up.
Max. Fat chance.
(ALL CHATTERING)
-Allison.
-Hi.
Hi. Look, I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to embarrass you in class.
You didn't.
-My name is Max Dennison.
-Yeah, I know.
-You just moved here, huh?
-Yeah, last week.
-Must be a big change for you.
-Yeah, that's for sure.
-You don't like it here?
-The leaves are great, but...
I don't know.
Just all this Halloween stuff.
-You don't believe in it?
-What do you mean,
like the Sanderson sisters? No way.
-Not even on Halloween?
-Especially not on Halloween.
Trick or treat.
Halt! Who are you?
Max. I just moved here.
-From where?
-Los Angeles.
-LA?
-Oh, dude!
Tubular.
I'm Jay. This is Ernie.
How many times I gotta tell you?
My name ain't Ernie no more,
it's Ice. Ice.
This is Ice.
So! Let's have a butt.
Ah, no, thanks. I don't smoke.
They're very health conscious
in Los Angeles.
(BOTH LAUGHING)
You got any cash,
-Hollywood?
-No.
Gee.
We don't get any smokes from you,
we don't get any cash.
What am I supposed to do
with my afternoon?
Maybe you could learn
to breathe through your nose.
(LAUGHING)
Whoa. Check out
the new cross-trainers.
Cool. Let me try 'em on.
ICE: Later, dude!
JAY: See ya, Hollywood!
(BOYS LAUGHING)
(CHURCH BELL TOLLING)
-Hey, Max! Hey, how was school?
-It sucked.
Hey, hey, hey, watch your language.
I can't believe you made me move here!
He wasn't wearin' any shoes.
Well, must be some form of protest.
Hey, guys.
(SIGHS)
Oh, Allison.
You're so soft. I just wanna...
-Boo! (LAUGHS)
-Dani!
I scared you, I scared you.
Ha-ha! Ha-ha!
I'm Allison, Allison. Kiss me, I'm Allison.
Mom and Dad told you
to stay outta my room.
Don't be such a crab.
Guess what?
You're gonna take me trick-or-treating.
Not this year, Dani.
-Mom said you have to.
-Well, she can take you.
She and Dad are going
to the party at Town Hall.
You're eight. Go by yourself.
No way. This is my first time. I'll get lost.
Besides, it's a full moon outside.
The weirdos are out.
Come on, Max.
Couldn't you forget about being
a cool teenager just for one night?
Please? Come on.
We used to have so much fun
together trick-or-treating.
Remember? It'll be like old times.
Yeah, well, the old days are dead.
It doesn't matter what you say.
You're taking me.
Wanna bet?
(SCREAMING) Mom!
Let's go, hurry up.
The bewitching hour is about to begin.
Wow... Please stop! Help!
-Isn't that a scary witch?
-Stop! Very scary. Wow!
What about you, Max?
What are you supposed to be?
-A rap singer.
-Oh.
Your hat should be on sideways,
shouldn't it?
-Say "Halloween"!
-Halloween!
(LAUGHING MANIACALLY)
CHILDREN: Trick or treat!
-Lighten up, Max.
-Can we go home now?
No.
Let's just go this way.
Dani.
Ding-ding. Ding-ding.
-Stop and pay the toll, kid.
-Ten chocolate bars, no licorice.
-Dump out your sack.
-Drop dead. Moron.
Whoa!
Yo, twerp.
How'd you like to be
hung off that telephone pole?
I'd just like to see you try,
because it just so happens
I've got my big brother with me.
Max!
Hollywood!
Oh, no!
Oh!
(ALL LAUGHING)
So, you're doing a little trick-or-treating.
-Ding-dong!
-Whoo!
-I'm just taking my little sister around.
-That's nice.
-Whoa, I love the costume!
-BOY: Yeah!
But what are you supposed to be,
a New Kid On The Block?
For your information,
he's a Little Leaguer.
-Whoa!
-I'm a Little Leaguer!
Wait a minute. Everybody pays the toll.
-Stuff it, zit face!
-Why, you little...
Hey! Ice, here. Pig out.
Come on, Dani, let's go. Jerk.
And, Hollywood, the shoes fit great!
Yeah!
-Trick or treat!
-You should have punched him.
They would have killed me.
At least you would have died like a man.
Hey!
You just humiliated me
in front of half the guys at school!
So collect your candy
and get out of my life!
I wanna go home. Now!
-Trick or treat!
-Trick or treat!
Dani, I'm sorry.
It's just that I hate this place.
I miss all my friends. I wanna go home!
Well, this is your home now.
So get used to it.
Yeah.
-Gimme one more chance?
-Why should I?
'Cause I'm your brother.
(LAUGHING)
-Whoa. Check that out.
-What?
Somethin' just flew across the moon.
(BOTH SCREAM)
-Fooled ya.
-Let's go, jerkface.
CHILD: Trick or treat!
BOTH: Wow.
-Check out this house!
-Eh, rich people.
They'll probably make us drink cider,
bob for apples.
(CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING)
Trick or treat?
Jackpot!
Whoa!
Max Dennison.
-Allison.
-Oh, Allison, huh?
I thought you weren't into Halloween.
I'm not. I'm just taking
my little sister, Dani, around.
That's nice.
-I always do it.
-My parents made him.
Do you guys want some cider?
-Sure.
-No.
Thanks.
-So, how's the party?
-Boring.
It's just a bunch of my parents' friends.
They do this every year.
I've got candy duty.
-By the way, Dani, I love your costume.
-Thank you.
I really like yours, too. Of course,
I couldn't wear anything like that
because I don't have any...
What do you call 'em, Max? Yabos?
-(CHOKES)
-(CHUCKLES)
Max likes your yabos.
In fact, he loves 'em.
-I'm really into witches.
-Really? Me, too.
We just learned
about those sisters in school.
You mean the Sanderson sisters?
I know all about them.
My mom used to run the museum.
-There's a museum about them?
-Yeah, but they shut it down because...
A lot of spooky things happened there.
Well, why don't we go
to this old Sanderson house?
Well, come on.
Make a believer out of me.
Okay, let me get changed.
They'll never miss me.
Max, we're not going up there.
My friends at school told me
all about that place. It's weird.
Dani, this is the girl of my dreams.
So take her to the movies
like a normal person.
Dani!
Look. Just do this one thing
for me and I'll do anything you say.
-Please? Please, please?
-Okay.
Next year we go trick-or-treating
as Wendy and Peter Pan.
With tights, or it's no deal.
Okay, okay. Deal, deal.
(OWL HOOTING)
Legend has it that the bones of 100
children are buried within these walls.
Oh, great.
(STAIRS CREAKING)
DANI: Ugh.
(HINGES CREAKING)
(DANI COUGHING)
I can't see a thing.
Well, there's a light switch
around here somewhere.
(DANI EXCLAIMS SOFTLY)
(DANI GROANS)
Found a lighter.
MAX: Whoa!
ALLISON: Here's the original cauldron.
And upstairs is where they slept.
(ALLISON SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)
"This is the spell book
of Winifred Sanderson.
"It was given to her by the devil himself.
"The book is bound in human skin,
"and contains the recipes
for her most powerful and evil spells."
-I get the picture.
-(CHUCKLES)
What's that?
It's the Black Flame Candle.
"Black Flame Candle.
Made from the fat of a hanged man."
"Legend says that, on a full moon,
"it will raise the spirits
of the dead when lit by a virgin
"on Halloween night."
So let's light the sucker
and meet the old broads.
-Wanna do the honors?
-No, thanks.
-(SCREAMS)
-(SNARLING)
Get him off!
-Stupid cat!
-DANI: Okay, Max.
You've had your fun.
It's time to go. Come on, Allison.
Max, she's right. Let's go.
Oh, come on.
It's just a bunch of hocus-pocus.
Max, I'm not kidding this time.
It's time to go.
Max, no!
-(GASPS)
-Uh-oh.
(DANI SCREAMING)
(SQUEAKING)
(ALL SCREAMING)
(PANTING)
What happened?
A virgin lit the candle.
(WINNIE LAUGHING MANIACALLY)
We're home!
Oh, sweet revenge! You see, sisters?
My curse worked perfectly.
MARY: That's because
thou art perfect, Winnie.
I knew I left this cauldron on.
Didn't I tell you? Oh, I knew it!
My lucky rat tail! Just where I left it!
But who lit the Black Flame Candle?
Wake up. Wake up, sleepyhead.
Oh, I've missed you.
Did you miss me, too?
Come on, now, we've got work to do.
-Winnie. I smell children.
-Yes?
Sic 'em!
It's a little girl.
(SNIFFS)
Seven,
-maybe eight and a half.
-Let's play with her!
♪Come, little children
♪I'll take thee away in...
Come out, my dear.
We will not harm thee.
We love children!
I thought thou'd never come, sisters.
Greetings, little one.
-'Twas I who brought you back.
-Imagine.
Such a pretty little
child.
Look at her.
And she's so well-fed, isn't she?
-Plump. Plump.
-(SCREAMING)
Shish kebaby!
(SCREAMS)
Tell me, dumpling,
-what is the year?
-1993.
Sisters!
We have been gone 300 years.
Well, Winnie, how time flies, huh?
When you're dead!
(ALL LAUGHING)
It's been great fun,
but I guess I'd better be going.
Oh, stay for supper.
-I'm not hungry.
-Oh, but we are.
(SCREAMING)
Hey! Let go of my little sister.
-Roast him, Winnie.
-No, let me. Let me play with him.
Max!
(HUMMING)
You, there.
(LAUGHING) I haven't lost
my touch, sisters, see?
Max!
Hello. Goodbye.
(GROANING)
DANI: Max!
-Mary!
-Well, hello.
Ow!
You leave my brother alone!
-Max!
-I'll get you.
Get him! Get this...
Get this beast off me!
Max, come on! Let's go!
(ALL CLAMORING)
Get out! Go, go, go!
-(YOWLING)
-Get it off me!
Hey!
You've messed with
the great and powerful Max,
and now must
suffer the consequences.
I summon the Burning Rain of Death!
-The Burning Rain of Death?
-Burning Rain of Death? I don't know.
(ALL GASPING)
WINNIE: He makes fire in his hand.
(ALL SCREAMING)
Oh, the Burning Rain of Death!
Come on, you idiots.
Get under the shelter!
Come on, you fools!
Nice going, Max.
You can talk.
Yeah, no kidding.
Now, get the spell book.
(HISSES) Come on, move it!
No, it's not.
It's the Burning Rain of Death!
Shut up!
My book!
Don't! He's going for my book! Stop!
-My book! The book!
-The book!
ALLISON: Max! Max, over here!
Come on! This way!
Confound it!
(SISTERS WHINING)
-Winnie.
-I'm dying.
Shut up!
-It is but water!
-Most refreshing.
-It is.
-You idiot!
The boy has tricked us,
and he's stolen the book. After him!
-'Tis a black river.
-Perhaps it is not too deep.
(SCREAMING)
-'Tis firm!
-Careful, Winnie.
-'Tis firm as stone.
-Why, why, it's a road!
-Firm as stone, 'tis firm as stone.
-Sisters, my book!
(SIREN APPROACHING)
(SIREN WAILING)
(HORN BLARING)
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
Come on, this is a graveyard.
MAX: It's hallowed ground.
Witches can't set foot here.
He talks.
Follow me!
THACKERY: Over here.
I want to show you something.
Give you an idea of
exactly what we're dealing with.
"William Butcherson"? "Lost soul"?
Billy Butcherson was Winifred's lover.
But she found him sporting
with her sister, Sarah.
So she poisoned him and sewed
his mouth shut with a dull needle,
so he couldn't tell her secrets
even in death.
Winifred always was the jealous type.
-You're Thackery Binx.
-Yes.
-So the legends are true.
-Well, come along.
I want to show you something else.
-Teenagers again.
-I hate Halloween.
Man, this is the worst night
of the year. Can you give me a hand?
-Who are they?
-Boys!
Witch hunters.
Observe, they wear black robes,
and carry axes
to chop the wood to burn us.
-Hold me.
-What a pretty spider.
(WHINING)
Sisters!
Let me make one thing perfectly clear.
The magic that brought us back
only works tonight, on All Hallows' Eve.
When the sun comes up, we're dust.
-Dust? Toast?
-Toast.
-Pudding!
-(SCREAMING)
Fortunately, the potion
I brewed the night we were hanged
would keep us alive and young forever.
Unfortunately, the recipe for
that potion is in my spell book,
and the little wretches have stolen it.
Therefore, it stands to reason,
does it not, sisters dear,
that we must find the book,
brew the potion,
and suck the lives out of
the children of Salem before sunrise?
Otherwise, it's curtains! We evaporate!
We cease to exist!
Dost thou comprehend?
Well, you explained it beautifully,
Winnie. The way you sorta started out
with the adventure part
and then you sorta
-slowly went into the...
-Explained what?
Come! We fly!
Because of me, my little
sister's life was stolen.
For years I waited for my life to end,
so I could be reunited with my family.
But Winifred's curse
of immortality kept me alive.
Then one day I figured out
what to do with my eternal life.
Now, I'd failed Emily,
but I wouldn't fail again.
When Winifred
and her sisters returned,
I'd be there to stop them.
So for three centuries, I've guarded
their house on All Hallows' night,
when I knew some airhead virgin
might light that candle.
-Nice going, airhead.
-Hey, look, I'm sorry, okay?
We're talkin' about three ancient hags
versus the 20th century.
-How bad can it be?
-Bad.
-Stay out of there!
-Why?
It holds Winifred's most
dangerous spells. She must not get it.
Well, let's torch the sucker.
It's protected by magic.
-(WITCHES CACKLING)
-(ALL GASPING)
It's just a bunch of hocus-pocus!
Sarah.
-Mary.
-(DANI GASPS) Max!
Brave little virgin who lit the candle.
I'll be thy friend.
-Hey, take a hike.
-Ouch!
Book.
-Come to Mummy.
-'Fraid not!
Thackery Binx, thou mangy feline.
-Still alive?
-And waiting for you.
Thou hast waited in vain,
and thou will fail to save thy friends,
just as thou failed to save thy sister!
(YOWLING)
Grab the book!
(SCREAMING)
-They can't touch us here, right?
-Well, they can't.
I don't like the way you said that.
Unfaithful lover long since dead.
Deep asleep in thy wormy bed.
Wiggle thy toes,
open thine eyes,
twist thy fingers toward the sky.
Life is sweet, be not shy.
On thy feet, so sayeth I!
Max! Max!
(ALL SCREAMING)
Hi. Hello, Billy.
Catch those children! Get up! Get up!
Get out of that ditch! Faster!
In here!
-(GASPS)
-(GRUNTING)
Mmm-mmm!
Yes!
(GROANING)
-Are you okay?
-Mmm-hmm.
-What is this place, Binx?
-It's the old Salem crypt.
Here, take the book.
It connects to the sewer
and up to the street.
Charming.
-Don't look up, Dani.
-Don't worry, I won't.
Relax. I've hunted mice
down here for years.
Mice? Oh, God.
WINNIE: Oh, cheese and crust.
He's lost his head!
Damn that Thackery Binx.
Billy, which way did they go?
Billy, listen to me. Follow
those children, you maggot museum.
And get my book! Then come find us.
We'll be ready for them.
Quit staring at me!
Get moving down that hole.
-Damn, damn, double damn!
-Broom, ho!
THACKERY: This way.
Broom, ho.
They're here. I know they're here.
I know they're here, but where are they?
-Sniff them out, Mary.
-They're, they're...
Oh, I can't.
They've gone too far. I've lost them.
I'll have your guts for garters, girl!
Confound you!
Very well. We must outwit them.
When Billy the Butcher gets here
with my book,
-we shall be ready for them!
-Book? Ready!
-Sarah!
-Sarah!
Let us start collecting children.
Why?
Because, you great buffoon,
we want to live forever,
not just until tomorrow.
The more children's lives we snatch,
the longer we shall live!
-Right! Let us fly.
-(BARKS)
-Fly!
-Wait! Sisters.
I have an idea.
Since this promises to be
a most dire and stressful evening,
I suggest we form a calming circle.
-I am calm!
-Oh, sister,
thou art not being honest
with thyself, are we, huh?
Huh? Come on. Give... Gimme a smile.
(ALL GRUNT)
Come along. Not much further.
See, which way, which way?
I can't remember. Oh. Look, down here!
Think soothing thoughts.
Rabid bats, black death.
Mummy's scorpion pie.
ALL: Mother!
(VEHICLE APPROACHING)
(HORN BLOWING)
Bubble, bubble, I'm in trouble.
Tell me, friend, what is this contraption?
I call it a bus.
-A bus.
-A bus?
-And its purpose?
-To convey gorgeous creatures
such as yourselves
to your most forbidden desires.
Well, fancy.
We desire children.
(CHUCKLES) Hey, that may take me
a couple of tries,
but I don't think there'll be a problem.
-Hop on up.
-Marvelous! Thank you.
Thank you.
Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm!
I need one of those instant ice packs.
You girls are givin' me a fever! Yow!
MAX: Go, Binx!
ALLISON: Come here,
you guys, this way!
(GRUNTING)
ALLISON: Come on!
THACKERY: Up the ladder.
-Come on.
-DANI: Careful.
Hey, buttercup, anybody ever
tell you you're very easy on the eyes?
Binx, look out!
Whoa! Speed bump!
Binx! Oh!
Speed bump!
(HONKING HORN)
Oh, my God.
It's all my fault.
Max, it's not your fault.
-Look.
-Max.
I hate it when that happens.
What?
I told you, I can't die. Dani, you all right?
-Yeah.
-Okay, then, let's go.
Stop!
-I smell children.
-Marvelous.
Hey, cupcake, don't I get
your phone number, your area code?
-You want my route schedule?
-Thou wouldst hate me in the morning.
-No, I wouldns't.
-Oh, believe me, thou wouldst.
Party pooper.
-(INDISTINCT CHATTERING)
-What is this, sisters?
Odds bodkins.
(SNIFFING)
Farewell, mortal busboy.
What are those?
What's that? Who's that?
Hobgoblins.
Bless you.
(WITCHES SCREAMING)
-Enough!
-Oh, sisters.
I'm very confused. I...
I smell children, but I don't see children.
-I've lost my power!
-Enough, enough, enough!
-Sorry.
-We are witches. We are evil.
-Evil?
-What would Mother say
if she could see us like this?
-Oh. Mother.
-Mother.
ALL: Master!
What kind of costumes are these?
-It's the Sanderson sisters, right?
-At your service.
Haven't seen you for centuries. But
what the heck, why don't you come in?
Come into the nonsmoking section.
-Come on, come on, right this way.
-I can't believe it's him!
Don't step on my tail!
-(GROWLS)
-(CHILDREN SCREAM)
-DANI: Officer, Officer!
-Officer, we need your help.
What's the problem?
-Tell him.
-Go ahead.
Well...
Well, you see... I just moved here.
Well, you see, it's like this, I...
I broke into the old Sanderson house
and I brought the witches back
from the dead.
See, I even have the book.
-You lit the Black Flame Candle?
-Yeah.
Come on.
Okay, let's get on the sidewalk.
And he's a virgin.
Come here.
-Are you a virgin?
-Yeah.
Really?
Look, I'll get it tattooed
on my forehead, okay?
-Officer, this is not a prank.
-Really.
Hey! I put my life on the line
to protect this community
and you punks pull this?
-Get outta here.
-Come on, Dani.
And take that cat with you.
(LAUGHING)
What's so funny, Eddie?
Just a bunch of kids pullin' my chain.
-They thought I was a real cop.
-(LAUGHING)
-(ENGINE REVVING)
-(GROANING)
I want you to meet the little woman.
-He has a little woman?
-Sounds tasty.
-Petunia face?
-What?
Will you stop clicking?
-We have company.
-I don't care who...
(GASPS) Sisters,
Satan has married Medusa.
See the snakes in her hair?
I don't wanna play in this.
I don't wanna play.
My three favorite witches.
Aren't you broads a little old
to be trick-or-treating?
We'll be younger in the morning.
Yeah, sure. Me, too.
Excuse me.
Wow! Neat brooms!
Forget the kids,
I'm serving you from my cauldron.
-Winnie! For you.
-Yes?
Master, I thank thee.
What about the book?
We'll get to the book later.
Mary! Go long!
Yeah, you could be a tight end.
Master, would thou dance with me?
Behold!
A torture chamber!
(SCREAMING)
Honey, I've lost five pounds
according to the bathroom...
Master.
Okay. That's it. Party's over.
Get outta my house! Get outta here!
-Get out of my house!
-Sorry.
-Calm down, puddin' face.
-Shove it, Satan.
Oh, thou should not speak
to Master in such a manner.
-They call me Master.
-Wait'll you see what I'm gonna call you.
Now, tart-face, take your Clark Bars
and get outta my house!
Make us!
-(GROWLING)
-(HISSING)
-Honey bunch.
-Ralph! Sic 'em!
-(SHRIEKING)
-(RALPH BARKING)
-My broom!
-My broom!
-My broom!
-Purloined. Curses!
Sisters, look.
It's the chocolate-covered finger
of a man named Clark.
It's candy.
-Why would the Master give us candy?
-Because he is not our Master.
-He isn't?
-And these are not hobgoblins.
-See?
-Cool it, man.
A child!
Weirdos!
-Weirdos?
-Sisters!
All Hallows' Eve has become
a night of frolic,
where children
wear costumes and run amok.
Amok! Amok, amok,
amok, amok, amok...
-Oh, Winnie, just one child.
-Nip!
Oh, great.
How are we gonna find
Mom and Dad in this place?
Hi, hi, hi.
♪(SINGING) Those fingers
♪through my hair
♪That sly "come hither" stare
♪That strips my conscience bare
♪It's witchcraft
I'm gonna look for Mom.
♪And I've got no defense for it
♪The heat is too intense for it
♪What good would
♪common sense for it do
♪It's witchcraft
-Oh, Dad.
-It's not Dad.
It's "Dadcula."
Oh, my goodness, who must
this charming young blood donor be?
-Dad! Somethin' terrible happened!
-Dani? What's wrong?
No, Dani's fine.
Good. Excuse me. Come here.
Mom?
Mom?
Hmm?
What are you supposed to be?
Madonna.
Well, you know...
Well, obviously. Don't you think?
Shoot, Max.
Look, whatever it is, just tell me.
-Come here.
-What?
This cat here, Binx.
He can talk. My brother's a virgin.
He lit the Black Flame Candle.
The witches are back from the dead,
and they're after us.
-We need help.
-How much candy have you had?
Mom, I haven't OD'd.
They're real witches.
They can fly, and they're gonna eat
all the kids in Salem. They're real!
All right. Let's just find your father.
♪It's such an ancient pitch
♪But one I wouldn't switch
Slither about.
Find them.
Oh, no, I'll never switch.
♪'Cause there's
♪no nicer witch than you
♪I put a spell on you
♪And now you're mine
Hey, guys, I love you,
but enough is enough. Just calm down.
-But they're gonna come!
-Don't you see how crazy this sounds?
-Max, Max, they're here!
-What is it?
-Did you find them?
-Sorry.
Get out there and find them.
-Nobody's here, sweetheart.
-Here, hold this.
-Where are you going?
-Max! Max!
Sarah!
♪And now you're mine
Bye.
-Get over here! Did you find them?
-Find who?
♪I ain't lyin'
♪No, I ain't lyin'
-Hey, cut the music.
-I'm in the middle of a song.
It's an emergency. Only for a minute.
Will everybody listen up, please?
Listen to him!
No, he's just getting everybody
worked up!
-Your kids are in danger.
-What do you mean?
Three hundred years ago, the
Sanderson sisters bewitched people.
And now they've returned
from their grave.
(ALL LAUGHING)
Hey, man, I'm serious! It's not a joke.
-This has gone far enough.
-I know this sounds dumb,
but they're here tonight.
They're right over there!
-Huh!
-Wow!
Thank you, Max,
for that marvelous introduction.
(ALL LAUGHING)
♪I put a spell on you
♪And now you're mine
♪You can't stop the things I do
♪I ain't lying
No! No! Don't listen to them!
♪It's been 300 years
♪Right down to the day
♪Now the witch is back
♪And there's hell to pay
♪I put a spell on you
-Good joke. Happy Halloween. Thanks.
-No, man, I'm serious!
-Yeah, yeah, I know.
-You got to believe me!
♪And now you're mine
All right. Gear up. Let's go, guys.
Hello, Salem!
My name's Winifred. What's yours?
♪I put a spell on you
♪-And now you're gone
♪-Gone, gone, gone so long
♪My whammy fell on you
♪-And it was strong
♪-So strong, so strong, so strong
♪Your wretched little lives
♪Have all been cursed
♪'Cause of all the witches working
♪I'm the worst
♪I put a spell on you
♪And now you're mine
Binx, where are you?
♪Watch out, watch out
♪Watch out, watch out
Let's go!
♪If you don't believe
♪You'd better get superstitious
-Mom, Dad, thank God!
-Hey, Max, great show.
Cover your ears!
♪I put a spell on you
Whoa.
♪I put a spell on you
I wish we had the camera.
♪Ah-say-into-pie
♪Oppa-maybe-uppen-die
♪Ah-say-into-pie
♪Oppa-maybe-uppen-die
♪-In-kama-koray-ah-ma
♪-In-kama-koray-ah-ma
♪-Hey, high
♪-Hey, high
♪-Say, bye
♪-Say, bye
♪Bye
♪Bye, bye, bye
(GRUNTING)
Dance, dance, dance until you die!
Oh, Binx, come on!
-This is really bad!
-Max, come on. Calm down.
Look, I want you to take Dani
back to your house
and don't let her out of your sight!
Max, I'm not leaving you.
Okay, guys, who's goin' for the Jacuzzi?
Angelo. Too bad.
Uh-oh.
Get down!
-I smell...
-Yes?
-Winnie, I smell...
-Yes, yes?
I smell scrod.
Scrod. It's a bottom dweller. You cook
it sometimes with lovely bread crumbs,
a little bit of margarine
or olive oil is good. (STAMMERING)
Sarah. Sarah!
(GASPS)
I have an idea.
What is this place?
SARAH: It reeks of children.
WINNIE: It is a prison for children.
(MAX HOWLING)
Welcome to High School Hell.
I'm your host, Boris Karloff, Junior.
(LAUGHING)
It's time to meet our three contestants,
Sarah, Mary and Winifred Sanderson.
Read any good spell books lately?
(BARKS)
Hag tracks!
Get him.
(PANTING RHYTHMICALLY)
FEMALE VOICE: Hello.
Welcome to the library.
(WOMAN SPEAKING
FRENCH ON SPEAKER)
I would like a book.
(WOMAN SPEAKING
FRENCH ON SPEAKER)
What kind of book are you looking for?
-(YELLING)
-(SINISTER CHUCKLING)
We've got them! We've got them!
I am looking for a children's book.
Hello?
(SCREAMING)
Wretches!
-Fire.
-Fire.
It's hot. It's hot.
(WITCHES SCREAMING)
(MAX SCREAMING) Farewell,
Winifred Sanderson!
-Burn! Burn!
-(ALL CHEERING)
All right! Yeah!
Yeah! All right!
(SHOUTING JUBILANTLY)
(SIGHS)
We did it, Binx.
-We stopped them.
-I've wanted to do that for 300 years,
since they took Emily.
You really miss her, don't you?
Man, you can't keep blaming yourself
for that. That happened so long ago.
Take good care of Dani, Max.
You'll never know how precious she is
until you lose her.
Hey, Binx!
Where do you think you're going?
You're a Dennison now, buddy.
One of us.
Come on, Binx. Let's go home.
Home.
Home.
Mom? Dad?
We got a new cat.
Mom?
Well, I guess they're still partying.
Come on in.
You're my kitty now.
You'll have milk and tuna fish every
day. And you'll only hunt mice for fun.
You're going to turn me
into one of those fat,
useless, contented house cats.
(GIGGLES) You betcha.
(CHUCKLES)
You know, Binx,
I'll always take care of you.
My children will take care of you, too.
And their children after that.
And theirs after that.
Forever and ever
and ever.
(PURRING)
(WITCHES SCREAMING)
(WITCHES COUGHING)
Hello. I want my book.
(SPEAKING FRENCH)
(COUGHING)
JAY: You wanna smash some
pumpkins?
ICE: No.
JAY: You wanna look in windows
and watch babes undress?
It's 3:00. They're undressed already.
-Well, then you think of somethin'!
-I don't feel so good.
'Cause you're eatin' too much candy,
you oinker.
(WITCHES MUMBLING)
-Yes!
-Yo, witch! Get your face off my shoe!
Wrong boy. Sorry, Winnie.
Why, why, why was I cursed
with such idiot sisters?
(SOBBING)
Just lucky, I guess.
Oh, man, how come
it's always the ugly chicks
that stay out late?
Chicks?
We haven't much time left.
We shall have to make
-the potion from memory.
-Hey.
-Let us out of here.
-We're really sorry.
-We think you're really cute.
-Hush!
I've got to think.
Hey!
Remember, remember.
BOTH: Remember, Winnie, remember.
Remember, Winnie...
-Now, I remember!
-(BOTH GASPING)
I was here. The book was there.
You, Mary, you were here.
Sarah, you were in the back
dancing, idiotically.
-And the book said...
-Yes?
I remember it like it was yesterday.
Oil of boil and a dead man's nose.
-Dead man's toes!
-She's trying to concentrate.
-No, his thumb.
-Thumbs?
-Or was it his gums?
-I don't know.
A dead man's buns.
-A dead man's buns. Sounds like...
-Mums?
-Mums. Funs. Funs.
-Chungs.
-Chungs?
-Dead man's chungs.
There's no such things as chungs.
-You're right.
-I am? I'm right.
It's no use.
I don't remember the ingredients.
I've got to have my book!
(JAY AND ICE MOANING)
Leave him alone!
I'm gonna puke.
Book.
Come home or make thyself known.
(SOBBING)
-Hi.
-Hi.
Oh, my God. It's 5:00.
My parents are gonna kill me.
I should go.
I wish you could stay.
Poor Binx.
Yeah. Poor Binx.
We owe him a lot.
Yeah.
Look, can we find some kind of way
to help him?
The book.
The witches used it
to put the spell on him.
Maybe there's a way
in here to take it off.
I don't know. Binx told us not to open it.
Well, the witches are dead.
What harm could it do?
Well, just be careful.
I will.
Hold my hand.
All right.
ALLISON: Nothing weird so far.
Winnie, do you want to hit me?
Would that cheer you up?
-Okay.
-(SOBBING)
-There you go. No.
-This is the end. I feel it.
-Okay.
-We are doomed.
I feel the icy breath
of death upon my neck.
-Mary? Take me to the window.
-What?
-I wish to say goodbye.
-Yes, Winnie.
-Good-bye. Good-bye, cruel world.
-Bye-bye.
-Bye-bye, cruel world.
-Good-bye to life.
-Bye-bye, life.
-Good-bye. Good-bye.
-Good-bye-bye.
-Good-bye to all that.
To all that.
Sister! Observe!
They opened it! (LAUGHS)
Just when our time was running out.
-Come! We fly!
-We fly!
On what do we fly?
Into the night!
Winnie?
-Broom, ho!
-(VACUUM STARTS)
Oh, listen to this.
"Only a circle of salt can
protect thy victims from thy power."
(SCREECHING)
-We were just trying to help you.
-Well, don't!
Nothing good can come from this book.
You got it?
Maybe we should go now.
Okay.
Mom? Dad?
They're still not home. That's weird.
Must be havin' a great time.
I don't know. Something's not right.
I'd feel a lot safer walking home
if we had some salt.
Salt.
What's it say?
It says, "Form a circle of salt
to protect from zombies,
"witches and old boyfriends."
And what about new boyfriends?
(GLASS BREAKING)
Dani.
Dani!
Max, the book is gone!
I'm tellin' you, something's weird.
-Dani, wake up.
-Trick or treat?
(SCREAMS)
-Looking for this?
-Or this?
(SCREAMS)
Boy down.
Salt!
What a clever little white witch.
But it will not save thy friends.
No. Come, sisters.
The candle's magic is almost spent.
Dawn approaches.
-Bye-bye.
-DANI: Max!
DANI: Let me go!
Put me down!
(COUGHING)
Dani. Dani.
(WITCHES CACKLING)
Dani!
Are you okay?
-Come on, get up.
-Where's Dani?
WINNIE: Use thy voice, Sarah!
Fill the sky. Bring the little brats to die.
(LAUGHING)
♪(SINGING) Come, little children
♪I'll take thee away
♪Into a land
♪Of enchantment
♪Come, little children
♪The time's come to play
♪Here in my garden
♪Of magic
-Dani!
-Dani!
Hey!
Hey, you guys!
Don't listen to her! Hey, up here!
-Don't listen to her!
-Max, Max, I figured it out!
-What?
-Winifred said,
"The candle's magic will soon be spent.
"And dawn approaches."
The Black Flame Candle only brought
them back for this one Halloween night.
And unless they can steal
the lives of children,
when the sun comes up, they're dust.
Yeah, but how can we make
the sun come up? They've got Dani.
We need a miracle.
The children are coming!
Well done, sister Sarah.
(STRAINING)
THACKERY: Let me out of here!
ALLISON: Hurry, okay? But watch out.
Come on.
-MAX: Get out of the way! Move it!
-(HONKING)
I'm gonna ralph.
-Open up.
-No more candy, please.
Soon the lives of all
thy little friends will be mine.
And I shall be young
and beautiful again forever.
It doesn't matter how young
or old you are! You sold your soul!
You're the ugliest thing
that's ever lived and you know it!
You die first.
Hmph!
(BOYS SCREAMING)
-'Tis ready. Pry open her mouth.
-Gladly.
-Dani, don't drink it!
-Shut up, you!
Open your mouth. Open it.
She bit me.
(GROANING)
Prepare to die!
Again.
You! You have no powers here, you fool!
-Hollywood!
-Maybe not,
but there's a power
greater than your magic.
-And that's knowledge!
-JAY: Come on, man.
And there's one thing
that I know that you don't.
And what is that, dude?
Daylight savings time.
"Daylight savings time."
(ALL SCREAMING)
Max,
-get me out of here!
-WINNIE: The sun!
It hurts.
-It's okay, Binx! I got you.
-Hot cat. Hot cat.
Hey, let me outta here.
Help, help. Hey!
Hollywood, help us out here?
Tubular.
(GROANING)
-Yes!
-Let me outta here, man.
-Come on, Dani, let's go!
-Let me outta here!
Max, I wanna see her turn to dust.
Pump it!
Allison.
(CAR DOORS CLOSING)
(TIRES SQUEALING)
(TIRES SCREECHING)
-I am alive!
-Damn that boy! He's tricked us again.
-Oh, you're right. You're always right.
-It's my curse.
That, and you two.
Get off me, you thundering oafs!
Sorry.
Look! The candle's almost out!
And my potion. My beautiful potion.
Look! There's just enough left
for one child.
Get the vial!
Come on! Move it!
Oh, joy. What luck.
This is perfect
for that little towheaded brat.
We have a child.
-Him!
-And look, Winnie.
More children are arriving. Come on in.
Winnie, Winnie, we'll make more potion,
because we have the book!
We haven't the time! Besides,
I want to get that little
rat-faced kid that called me...
-Don't even say it.
-Ugly?
(BOTH SQUEALING)
Oh, honey. I know.
-She really hurt my feelings.
-She's jealous.
-She don't even know me.
-I know.
You know, I always wanted a child
and now I think I'll have one
on toast!
Step on it, Max!
Are they following us?
No.
Good.
Pull over!
Let me see your driver's permit.
Resisting arrest?
Yee-haw!
Way to go!
-THACKERY: Hurry! Hurry!
-Max!
Go, go, go, go, go.
THACKERY: Come on!
Let's get a move on!
-Max!
-No, wait, Dani!
Run, Dani, run!
Billy!
Billy, listen to me! Kill him if you must.
Just bring me that child, that Dani.
And put some wiggle in it,
you putrid, festering sore!
Don't dawdle. Come along now!
Come along now.
Kill him! Do it now!
Wench!
Trollop!
You buck-toothed,
mop-riding, firefly from hell!
(EXCLAIMING)
I've waited centuries to say that.
Oh, say what you want.
Just don't breathe on me.
Billy!
I killed you once. I shall kill you again,
you maggoty malfeasance.
Hang on to your heads!
-Max, run!
-Move out of the way!
Wait, wait, no! No! No.
He's a good zombie.
Come on.
THACKERY: Come on. We'll have
to hold them out until dawn.
-It's our only hope.
-Hi, Billy.
-You'll be safe in here.
-Thank you.
-You okay, Dani?
-Yeah, fine.
All right, then.
In we go. There.
Here they come!
Billy, guard Dani. Max, Allison,
spread out!
For the last time,
prepare to meet thy doom!
(LAUGHING) You little pest.
I've had enough of you.
(LAUGHING)
(SCREAMS)
-DANI: Billy!
-Go to hell!
Oh, I've been there, thank you.
I found it quite lovely.
(CHUCKLING)
Billy, I think you dropped this.
Oh, God!
Max!
(SCREAMING)
Dani!
Bye-bye, big brother!
(WINNIE CACKLING)
All right, you little trollimog.
Hold on, Dani!
This'll teach you to call people ugly.
Open your mouth.
Open your mouth, I say!
WINNIE: Confound you!
-Give me that vial!
-Put her down or I'll smash it!
Smash it and she dies!
-Max!
-No!
Max, no!
Now you have no choice!
You have to take me.
What a fool to give up thy life
for thy sister's.
(DANI SCREAMS)
DANI: Max!
-Dani!
-Allison, Billy.
Put him down!
-Boy!
-Max!
(BOTH GROANING)
DANI: Max!
Hallowed ground! Sisters!
-Winnie, I'm coming!
-(VACUUM STARTS)
Pull! Harder!
Harder!
I'm going to teach you
a lesson you'll never forget!
Sarah!
Come on. Come and get me!
Let go now!
(SCREAMING)
(SCREAMS)
(SCREAMING)
(GROANS)
Book.
Winnie! Goodbye.
Uh-oh.
Bye-bye.
(MEOWING WEAKLY)
Oh, yeah.
DANI: Max!
Max, are you okay?
Yeah, I think so.
You saved my life.
Well, I had to. I'm your big brother.
I love you, jerkface.
I love you, too.
Come on.
Bye, Billy. Have a nice sleep.
Hey, Billy.
Thanks.
Where's Binx?
Binx?
Binx?
Binx!
He's gone. He's gone, Dani.
But he can't die, remember?
Wake up, Binx. Binx, wake up.
Like last time!
THACKERY: Dani.
Come on. Please don't be sad for me.
Binx?
-Is that you?
-Yeah.
The witches are dead.
My soul's finally free.
You freed me, Dani.
Thank you. Hey, Max.
Thanks for lighting the candle.
EMILY: Thackery.
Thackery Binx.
It's Emily.
I shall always be with you.
Thackery Binx, what took thee so long?
I'm sorry, Emily.
I had to wait 300 years
for a virgin to light a candle.
JENNY: I put a spell on you.
(LAUGHING)
I put a spell on you.
And I thought LA was a party town.
Yeah. Wow.
♪Row, row, row your boat
♪-Gently down the stream
♪-Row, row, row your boat
♪-Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily
♪-Gently down the stream
♪-Life is but a dream
♪-Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily
♪-Row, row, row your boat
♪-Life is but a dream
♪Gently down the stream
♪WINNIE: (SINGING) I put a spell on you
♪-And now you're gone
♪-Gone, gone, gone so long
♪My whammy fell on you
♪-And it was strong
♪-So strong, so strong, so strong
♪Your wretched little lives
♪Have all been cursed
♪'Cause of all the witches working
♪I'm the worst
♪I put a spell on you
♪And now you're mine
♪Watch out, watch out
♪watch out, watch out!
♪She'll deny you!
♪If you don't believe
♪You'd better get superstitious
♪-Ask my sisters
♪-She's vicious!
♪I put a spell on you
♪A wicked spell
♪I put a spell on you
♪Sisters!
♪Ah-Say-Into-Pie
♪Oppa-Maybe-Uppen-Die
♪Ah-Say-Into-Pie
♪Oppa-Maybe-Uppen-Die
♪-In-Kama-Koray-Ah-Ma
♪-In-Kama-Koray-Ah-Ma
♪Hey, high, say bye-bye!
♪Bye-bye!
-(WHINNYING)
-(CLUCKING)
-(BLEATING)
Emily? Emily!
♪SARAH: (SINGING) Come, little children
♪I'll take thee away
♪-Into a land
♪-Emily!
♪Of enchantment
♪Come, little children
♪The time's come
Elijah, Elijah!
Has thee seen my sister, Emily?
Nay. But look!
They conjure.
Oh, God. The woods!
(GIRL GIGGLING)
THACKERY: Emily!
-Now she's done for.
-Not yet!
You wake my father,
summon the elders. Go!
THACKERY: Emily!
(EXCLAIMS)
(GRUNTING)
(PANTING)
(GIRL GIGGLES)
Come, child.
(WOMAN CACKLING)
Oh, yes.
(WHISPERING) Emily.
(GASPS)
Oh, look. Another glorious morning.
It makes me sick!
-Sisters!
-Yes, Winnie.
We're coming, Winnie, right away.
Sorry.
Must have been an imp.
My darling.
My little book.
We must continue with our spell now
that our little guest of honor has arrived.
Wake up. Wake up, darling.
Oh, come along, darling. There you are.
(EXCLAIMS) Mary!
Right here, Winnie, right here. Sorry.
Hello, hello.
-I notice sister Sarah isn't helping.
-I lured the child here.
Leave her be.
-She hath done her chore.
-You're right, I'm wrong.
(HISSES)
All right.
'Tis time!
(GASPS)
There it is. Bring to a full rolling bubble.
Add two drops oil of boil.
I got it, it's heavy.
You do that, I'll do this.
WINNIE: Mix blood of owl
with the herb that's red.
Turn three times,
pluck a hair from my head.
Add a dash of pox
and a dead man's toe.
Dead man's toe
and make it a fresh one.
Dead man's toe!
Dead man's toe. Add a dead man's toe.
Dead man's toe.
Dead, dead, dead, dead, dead, dead.
(SNIFFS) Fresh one.
-Dead, dead, dead.
-Dead man's toe and a...
(MARY SNICKERING)
Will you two stop that?
-I need to concentrate.
-Sorry.
She needs to concentrate.
(GASPS)
WINNIE: Newt saliva...
-I smell a child.
-Nah, what dost thou call that?
-A child?
-Hmm!
Sisters! Gather 'round.
-One thing more and all is done.
-Yeah?
Add a bit of thine own tongue.
(CAULDRON HISSING)
Oh, Winnie, thou art divine.
'Tis ready for tasting.
One drop of this
and her life will be mine.
-I mean, ours.
-Yes.
All right, girl.
Open up your mouth.
-No!
-(GASPING) A boy!
-Get him, you fools!
-I got him. I knew I smelled a boy.
Come on. Come to mama.
-Get away from my cauldron!
-Come on.
(GRUNTING)
(WINNIE SCREAMING)
My potion!
Emily!
(GROANING)
(BARKS)
Winnie.
Winnie. Look.
Sisters, prepare thyselves.
'Tis her life force. The potion works.
Take my hands. We will share her.
Oh, Winnie, how generous of thee.
(ALL INHALING)
(ALL SIGHING)
(BURPING)
SARAH: Sisters! Behold!
I am beautiful!
Boys will love me!
We're young! (LAUGHING)
Oh, well, younger.
-But it's a start!
-(ALL LAUGHING)
Sisters!
Winifred, thou art a mere sprig of a girl.
Liar! But I shall be a sprig forever,
once I suck the life out
of all the children in Salem.
-Let's brew another batch.
-You hag!
There are not enough children in the
world to make thee young and beautiful.
-Hag.
-Uh-oh.
Sisters, did you hear
what he called you?
Whatever shall we do with him?
Let's barbecue and filet him.
Hang him on a hook
and let me play with him?
No! Book?
Darling, come to Mummy.
Yes. His punishment
must be more fulsome,
more lingering.
Dazzle me, my darling.
Let's see, amnesia,
bunions, chilblains, cholera.
We can do better than that, I think.
Let's see what we have.
Perfect!
As usual.
-His punishment shall not be to die...
-No?
...but to live forever with his guilt.
-BOTH: As what, Winnie, as what?
-Jump back!
Twist the bones and bend the back.
Itch-it-a-cop-it-a, Mel-a-ka-mys-ti-ca.
Trim him of his baby fat.
Itch-it-a-cop-it-a, Mel-a-ka-mys-ti-ca.
Give him fur black as black.
-Just...
-Like...
This!
(GROANING)
(CAT YOWLING)
(HISSES)
(BARKING)
-(CAT HISSES)
-(SCREAMS)
(KNOCKING)
MAN: Open!
Witches! Daughters of darkness!
Open this door!
-Hide the child!
-The child!
Witches?
There be no witches here, sir.
Don't get your knickers in a twist.
We are just three kindly
old spinster ladies.
Spending a quiet evening at home.
Sucking the lives out of little children!
(SCREAMING)
-Winifred Sanderson?
-Yes?
-I will ask thee one final time.
-Yes?
What hast thou done
with my son, Thackery?
-Thackery?
-Answer me!
Well, I don't know.
Cat's got my tongue!
(ALL LAUGHING)
-(THUNDER BREAKING)
-(MEOWS)
(WITCHES LAUGHING)
Listen. This is terribly uncomfortable.
Sisters, sing.
(ALL HARMONIZING)
♪WITCHES: Thrice I with mercury purify
♪-and spit upon the 12 tables
♪-MAN: Don't listen. Cover your ears!
Listen to them not!
Fools! All of you!
My ungodly book speaks to you.
On All Hallows' Eve
when the moon is round,
a virgin will summon us
from under the ground.
(LAUGHING)
We shall be back!
And the lives of all
the children shall be mine!
(CROWD EXCLAIMS)
(MEOWING)
Away!
Away, beast!
WOMAN: Poor Thackery Binx.
Neither his father, his mother,
nor anyone else,
ever knew what became of him
those 300 years ago.
And so, the Sanderson sisters
were hanged by the Salem townfolk.
Now, there are those who say
that on Halloween night,
a black cat still guards
the old Sanderson house,
warning off any
who might make the witches
come back to life.
-(YELLS)
-(SCREAMS)
-(LAUGHING)
-(CLASS LAUGHING)
Gimme a break.
We seem to have a skeptic in our midst.
Mr. Dennison,
would you care to share your California,
laid-back, tie-dyed, point of view?
Okay.
Granted that you guys here in Salem
are all into these black cats
and witches and stuff.
-Stuff?
-(CLASS GRUMBLING)
Fine.
But everyone here knows
that Halloween was invented
by the candy companies.
-(GASPS)
-It's a conspiracy.
It just so happens that Halloween
is based on the ancient feast
called All Hallows' Eve.
It's the one night of the year where the
spirits of the dead can return to Earth.
Well said, Allison.
Well, in case Jimi Hendrix
shows up tonight, here's my number.
(CLASS EXCLAIMING)
(BELL RINGING)
GIRL: Hey, wait up.
Max. Fat chance.
(ALL CHATTERING)
-Allison.
-Hi.
Hi. Look, I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to embarrass you in class.
You didn't.
-My name is Max Dennison.
-Yeah, I know.
-You just moved here, huh?
-Yeah, last week.
-Must be a big change for you.
-Yeah, that's for sure.
-You don't like it here?
-The leaves are great, but...
I don't know.
Just all this Halloween stuff.
-You don't believe in it?
-What do you mean,
like the Sanderson sisters? No way.
-Not even on Halloween?
-Especially not on Halloween.
Trick or treat.
Halt! Who are you?
Max. I just moved here.
-From where?
-Los Angeles.
-LA?
-Oh, dude!
Tubular.
I'm Jay. This is Ernie.
How many times I gotta tell you?
My name ain't Ernie no more,
it's Ice. Ice.
This is Ice.
So! Let's have a butt.
Ah, no, thanks. I don't smoke.
They're very health conscious
in Los Angeles.
(BOTH LAUGHING)
You got any cash,
-Hollywood?
-No.
Gee.
We don't get any smokes from you,
we don't get any cash.
What am I supposed to do
with my afternoon?
Maybe you could learn
to breathe through your nose.
(LAUGHING)
Whoa. Check out
the new cross-trainers.
Cool. Let me try 'em on.
ICE: Later, dude!
JAY: See ya, Hollywood!
(BOYS LAUGHING)
(CHURCH BELL TOLLING)
-Hey, Max! Hey, how was school?
-It sucked.
Hey, hey, hey, watch your language.
I can't believe you made me move here!
He wasn't wearin' any shoes.
Well, must be some form of protest.
Hey, guys.
(SIGHS)
Oh, Allison.
You're so soft. I just wanna...
-Boo! (LAUGHS)
-Dani!
I scared you, I scared you.
Ha-ha! Ha-ha!
I'm Allison, Allison. Kiss me, I'm Allison.
Mom and Dad told you
to stay outta my room.
Don't be such a crab.
Guess what?
You're gonna take me trick-or-treating.
Not this year, Dani.
-Mom said you have to.
-Well, she can take you.
She and Dad are going
to the party at Town Hall.
You're eight. Go by yourself.
No way. This is my first time. I'll get lost.
Besides, it's a full moon outside.
The weirdos are out.
Come on, Max.
Couldn't you forget about being
a cool teenager just for one night?
Please? Come on.
We used to have so much fun
together trick-or-treating.
Remember? It'll be like old times.
Yeah, well, the old days are dead.
It doesn't matter what you say.
You're taking me.
Wanna bet?
(SCREAMING) Mom!
Let's go, hurry up.
The bewitching hour is about to begin.
Wow... Please stop! Help!
-Isn't that a scary witch?
-Stop! Very scary. Wow!
What about you, Max?
What are you supposed to be?
-A rap singer.
-Oh.
Your hat should be on sideways,
shouldn't it?
-Say "Halloween"!
-Halloween!
(LAUGHING MANIACALLY)
CHILDREN: Trick or treat!
-Lighten up, Max.
-Can we go home now?
No.
Let's just go this way.
Dani.
Ding-ding. Ding-ding.
-Stop and pay the toll, kid.
-Ten chocolate bars, no licorice.
-Dump out your sack.
-Drop dead. Moron.
Whoa!
Yo, twerp.
How'd you like to be
hung off that telephone pole?
I'd just like to see you try,
because it just so happens
I've got my big brother with me.
Max!
Hollywood!
Oh, no!
Oh!
(ALL LAUGHING)
So, you're doing a little trick-or-treating.
-Ding-dong!
-Whoo!
-I'm just taking my little sister around.
-That's nice.
-Whoa, I love the costume!
-BOY: Yeah!
But what are you supposed to be,
a New Kid On The Block?
For your information,
he's a Little Leaguer.
-Whoa!
-I'm a Little Leaguer!
Wait a minute. Everybody pays the toll.
-Stuff it, zit face!
-Why, you little...
Hey! Ice, here. Pig out.
Come on, Dani, let's go. Jerk.
And, Hollywood, the shoes fit great!
Yeah!
-Trick or treat!
-You should have punched him.
They would have killed me.
At least you would have died like a man.
Hey!
You just humiliated me
in front of half the guys at school!
So collect your candy
and get out of my life!
I wanna go home. Now!
-Trick or treat!
-Trick or treat!
Dani, I'm sorry.
It's just that I hate this place.
I miss all my friends. I wanna go home!
Well, this is your home now.
So get used to it.
Yeah.
-Gimme one more chance?
-Why should I?
'Cause I'm your brother.
(LAUGHING)
-Whoa. Check that out.
-What?
Somethin' just flew across the moon.
(BOTH SCREAM)
-Fooled ya.
-Let's go, jerkface.
CHILD: Trick or treat!
BOTH: Wow.
-Check out this house!
-Eh, rich people.
They'll probably make us drink cider,
bob for apples.
(CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING)
Trick or treat?
Jackpot!
Whoa!
Max Dennison.
-Allison.
-Oh, Allison, huh?
I thought you weren't into Halloween.
I'm not. I'm just taking
my little sister, Dani, around.
That's nice.
-I always do it.
-My parents made him.
Do you guys want some cider?
-Sure.
-No.
Thanks.
-So, how's the party?
-Boring.
It's just a bunch of my parents' friends.
They do this every year.
I've got candy duty.
-By the way, Dani, I love your costume.
-Thank you.
I really like yours, too. Of course,
I couldn't wear anything like that
because I don't have any...
What do you call 'em, Max? Yabos?
-(CHOKES)
-(CHUCKLES)
Max likes your yabos.
In fact, he loves 'em.
-I'm really into witches.
-Really? Me, too.
We just learned
about those sisters in school.
You mean the Sanderson sisters?
I know all about them.
My mom used to run the museum.
-There's a museum about them?
-Yeah, but they shut it down because...
A lot of spooky things happened there.
Well, why don't we go
to this old Sanderson house?
Well, come on.
Make a believer out of me.
Okay, let me get changed.
They'll never miss me.
Max, we're not going up there.
My friends at school told me
all about that place. It's weird.
Dani, this is the girl of my dreams.
So take her to the movies
like a normal person.
Dani!
Look. Just do this one thing
for me and I'll do anything you say.
-Please? Please, please?
-Okay.
Next year we go trick-or-treating
as Wendy and Peter Pan.
With tights, or it's no deal.
Okay, okay. Deal, deal.
(OWL HOOTING)
Legend has it that the bones of 100
children are buried within these walls.
Oh, great.
(STAIRS CREAKING)
DANI: Ugh.
(HINGES CREAKING)
(DANI COUGHING)
I can't see a thing.
Well, there's a light switch
around here somewhere.
(DANI EXCLAIMS SOFTLY)
(DANI GROANS)
Found a lighter.
MAX: Whoa!
ALLISON: Here's the original cauldron.
And upstairs is where they slept.
(ALLISON SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)
"This is the spell book
of Winifred Sanderson.
"It was given to her by the devil himself.
"The book is bound in human skin,
"and contains the recipes
for her most powerful and evil spells."
-I get the picture.
-(CHUCKLES)
What's that?
It's the Black Flame Candle.
"Black Flame Candle.
Made from the fat of a hanged man."
"Legend says that, on a full moon,
"it will raise the spirits
of the dead when lit by a virgin
"on Halloween night."
So let's light the sucker
and meet the old broads.
-Wanna do the honors?
-No, thanks.
-(SCREAMS)
-(SNARLING)
Get him off!
-Stupid cat!
-DANI: Okay, Max.
You've had your fun.
It's time to go. Come on, Allison.
Max, she's right. Let's go.
Oh, come on.
It's just a bunch of hocus-pocus.
Max, I'm not kidding this time.
It's time to go.
Max, no!
-(GASPS)
-Uh-oh.
(DANI SCREAMING)
(SQUEAKING)
(ALL SCREAMING)
(PANTING)
What happened?
A virgin lit the candle.
(WINNIE LAUGHING MANIACALLY)
We're home!
Oh, sweet revenge! You see, sisters?
My curse worked perfectly.
MARY: That's because
thou art perfect, Winnie.
I knew I left this cauldron on.
Didn't I tell you? Oh, I knew it!
My lucky rat tail! Just where I left it!
But who lit the Black Flame Candle?
Wake up. Wake up, sleepyhead.
Oh, I've missed you.
Did you miss me, too?
Come on, now, we've got work to do.
-Winnie. I smell children.
-Yes?
Sic 'em!
It's a little girl.
(SNIFFS)
Seven,
-maybe eight and a half.
-Let's play with her!
♪Come, little children
♪I'll take thee away in...
Come out, my dear.
We will not harm thee.
We love children!
I thought thou'd never come, sisters.
Greetings, little one.
-'Twas I who brought you back.
-Imagine.
Such a pretty little
child.
Look at her.
And she's so well-fed, isn't she?
-Plump. Plump.
-(SCREAMING)
Shish kebaby!
(SCREAMS)
Tell me, dumpling,
-what is the year?
-1993.
Sisters!
We have been gone 300 years.
Well, Winnie, how time flies, huh?
When you're dead!
(ALL LAUGHING)
It's been great fun,
but I guess I'd better be going.
Oh, stay for supper.
-I'm not hungry.
-Oh, but we are.
(SCREAMING)
Hey! Let go of my little sister.
-Roast him, Winnie.
-No, let me. Let me play with him.
Max!
(HUMMING)
You, there.
(LAUGHING) I haven't lost
my touch, sisters, see?
Max!
Hello. Goodbye.
(GROANING)
DANI: Max!
-Mary!
-Well, hello.
Ow!
You leave my brother alone!
-Max!
-I'll get you.
Get him! Get this...
Get this beast off me!
Max, come on! Let's go!
(ALL CLAMORING)
Get out! Go, go, go!
-(YOWLING)
-Get it off me!
Hey!
You've messed with
the great and powerful Max,
and now must
suffer the consequences.
I summon the Burning Rain of Death!
-The Burning Rain of Death?
-Burning Rain of Death? I don't know.
(ALL GASPING)
WINNIE: He makes fire in his hand.
(ALL SCREAMING)
Oh, the Burning Rain of Death!
Come on, you idiots.
Get under the shelter!
Come on, you fools!
Nice going, Max.
You can talk.
Yeah, no kidding.
Now, get the spell book.
(HISSES) Come on, move it!
No, it's not.
It's the Burning Rain of Death!
Shut up!
My book!
Don't! He's going for my book! Stop!
-My book! The book!
-The book!
ALLISON: Max! Max, over here!
Come on! This way!
Confound it!
(SISTERS WHINING)
-Winnie.
-I'm dying.
Shut up!
-It is but water!
-Most refreshing.
-It is.
-You idiot!
The boy has tricked us,
and he's stolen the book. After him!
-'Tis a black river.
-Perhaps it is not too deep.
(SCREAMING)
-'Tis firm!
-Careful, Winnie.
-'Tis firm as stone.
-Why, why, it's a road!
-Firm as stone, 'tis firm as stone.
-Sisters, my book!
(SIREN APPROACHING)
(SIREN WAILING)
(HORN BLARING)
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
Come on, this is a graveyard.
MAX: It's hallowed ground.
Witches can't set foot here.
He talks.
Follow me!
THACKERY: Over here.
I want to show you something.
Give you an idea of
exactly what we're dealing with.
"William Butcherson"? "Lost soul"?
Billy Butcherson was Winifred's lover.
But she found him sporting
with her sister, Sarah.
So she poisoned him and sewed
his mouth shut with a dull needle,
so he couldn't tell her secrets
even in death.
Winifred always was the jealous type.
-You're Thackery Binx.
-Yes.
-So the legends are true.
-Well, come along.
I want to show you something else.
-Teenagers again.
-I hate Halloween.
Man, this is the worst night
of the year. Can you give me a hand?
-Who are they?
-Boys!
Witch hunters.
Observe, they wear black robes,
and carry axes
to chop the wood to burn us.
-Hold me.
-What a pretty spider.
(WHINING)
Sisters!
Let me make one thing perfectly clear.
The magic that brought us back
only works tonight, on All Hallows' Eve.
When the sun comes up, we're dust.
-Dust? Toast?
-Toast.
-Pudding!
-(SCREAMING)
Fortunately, the potion
I brewed the night we were hanged
would keep us alive and young forever.
Unfortunately, the recipe for
that potion is in my spell book,
and the little wretches have stolen it.
Therefore, it stands to reason,
does it not, sisters dear,
that we must find the book,
brew the potion,
and suck the lives out of
the children of Salem before sunrise?
Otherwise, it's curtains! We evaporate!
We cease to exist!
Dost thou comprehend?
Well, you explained it beautifully,
Winnie. The way you sorta started out
with the adventure part
and then you sorta
-slowly went into the...
-Explained what?
Come! We fly!
Because of me, my little
sister's life was stolen.
For years I waited for my life to end,
so I could be reunited with my family.
But Winifred's curse
of immortality kept me alive.
Then one day I figured out
what to do with my eternal life.
Now, I'd failed Emily,
but I wouldn't fail again.
When Winifred
and her sisters returned,
I'd be there to stop them.
So for three centuries, I've guarded
their house on All Hallows' night,
when I knew some airhead virgin
might light that candle.
-Nice going, airhead.
-Hey, look, I'm sorry, okay?
We're talkin' about three ancient hags
versus the 20th century.
-How bad can it be?
-Bad.
-Stay out of there!
-Why?
It holds Winifred's most
dangerous spells. She must not get it.
Well, let's torch the sucker.
It's protected by magic.
-(WITCHES CACKLING)
-(ALL GASPING)
It's just a bunch of hocus-pocus!
Sarah.
-Mary.
-(DANI GASPS) Max!
Brave little virgin who lit the candle.
I'll be thy friend.
-Hey, take a hike.
-Ouch!
Book.
-Come to Mummy.
-'Fraid not!
Thackery Binx, thou mangy feline.
-Still alive?
-And waiting for you.
Thou hast waited in vain,
and thou will fail to save thy friends,
just as thou failed to save thy sister!
(YOWLING)
Grab the book!
(SCREAMING)
-They can't touch us here, right?
-Well, they can't.
I don't like the way you said that.
Unfaithful lover long since dead.
Deep asleep in thy wormy bed.
Wiggle thy toes,
open thine eyes,
twist thy fingers toward the sky.
Life is sweet, be not shy.
On thy feet, so sayeth I!
Max! Max!
(ALL SCREAMING)
Hi. Hello, Billy.
Catch those children! Get up! Get up!
Get out of that ditch! Faster!
In here!
-(GASPS)
-(GRUNTING)
Mmm-mmm!
Yes!
(GROANING)
-Are you okay?
-Mmm-hmm.
-What is this place, Binx?
-It's the old Salem crypt.
Here, take the book.
It connects to the sewer
and up to the street.
Charming.
-Don't look up, Dani.
-Don't worry, I won't.
Relax. I've hunted mice
down here for years.
Mice? Oh, God.
WINNIE: Oh, cheese and crust.
He's lost his head!
Damn that Thackery Binx.
Billy, which way did they go?
Billy, listen to me. Follow
those children, you maggot museum.
And get my book! Then come find us.
We'll be ready for them.
Quit staring at me!
Get moving down that hole.
-Damn, damn, double damn!
-Broom, ho!
THACKERY: This way.
Broom, ho.
They're here. I know they're here.
I know they're here, but where are they?
-Sniff them out, Mary.
-They're, they're...
Oh, I can't.
They've gone too far. I've lost them.
I'll have your guts for garters, girl!
Confound you!
Very well. We must outwit them.
When Billy the Butcher gets here
with my book,
-we shall be ready for them!
-Book? Ready!
-Sarah!
-Sarah!
Let us start collecting children.
Why?
Because, you great buffoon,
we want to live forever,
not just until tomorrow.
The more children's lives we snatch,
the longer we shall live!
-Right! Let us fly.
-(BARKS)
-Fly!
-Wait! Sisters.
I have an idea.
Since this promises to be
a most dire and stressful evening,
I suggest we form a calming circle.
-I am calm!
-Oh, sister,
thou art not being honest
with thyself, are we, huh?
Huh? Come on. Give... Gimme a smile.
(ALL GRUNT)
Come along. Not much further.
See, which way, which way?
I can't remember. Oh. Look, down here!
Think soothing thoughts.
Rabid bats, black death.
Mummy's scorpion pie.
ALL: Mother!
(VEHICLE APPROACHING)
(HORN BLOWING)
Bubble, bubble, I'm in trouble.
Tell me, friend, what is this contraption?
I call it a bus.
-A bus.
-A bus?
-And its purpose?
-To convey gorgeous creatures
such as yourselves
to your most forbidden desires.
Well, fancy.
We desire children.
(CHUCKLES) Hey, that may take me
a couple of tries,
but I don't think there'll be a problem.
-Hop on up.
-Marvelous! Thank you.
Thank you.
Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm!
I need one of those instant ice packs.
You girls are givin' me a fever! Yow!
MAX: Go, Binx!
ALLISON: Come here,
you guys, this way!
(GRUNTING)
ALLISON: Come on!
THACKERY: Up the ladder.
-Come on.
-DANI: Careful.
Hey, buttercup, anybody ever
tell you you're very easy on the eyes?
Binx, look out!
Whoa! Speed bump!
Binx! Oh!
Speed bump!
(HONKING HORN)
Oh, my God.
It's all my fault.
Max, it's not your fault.
-Look.
-Max.
I hate it when that happens.
What?
I told you, I can't die. Dani, you all right?
-Yeah.
-Okay, then, let's go.
Stop!
-I smell children.
-Marvelous.
Hey, cupcake, don't I get
your phone number, your area code?
-You want my route schedule?
-Thou wouldst hate me in the morning.
-No, I wouldns't.
-Oh, believe me, thou wouldst.
Party pooper.
-(INDISTINCT CHATTERING)
-What is this, sisters?
Odds bodkins.
(SNIFFING)
Farewell, mortal busboy.
What are those?
What's that? Who's that?
Hobgoblins.
Bless you.
(WITCHES SCREAMING)
-Enough!
-Oh, sisters.
I'm very confused. I...
I smell children, but I don't see children.
-I've lost my power!
-Enough, enough, enough!
-Sorry.
-We are witches. We are evil.
-Evil?
-What would Mother say
if she could see us like this?
-Oh. Mother.
-Mother.
ALL: Master!
What kind of costumes are these?
-It's the Sanderson sisters, right?
-At your service.
Haven't seen you for centuries. But
what the heck, why don't you come in?
Come into the nonsmoking section.
-Come on, come on, right this way.
-I can't believe it's him!
Don't step on my tail!
-(GROWLS)
-(CHILDREN SCREAM)
-DANI: Officer, Officer!
-Officer, we need your help.
What's the problem?
-Tell him.
-Go ahead.
Well...
Well, you see... I just moved here.
Well, you see, it's like this, I...
I broke into the old Sanderson house
and I brought the witches back
from the dead.
See, I even have the book.
-You lit the Black Flame Candle?
-Yeah.
Come on.
Okay, let's get on the sidewalk.
And he's a virgin.
Come here.
-Are you a virgin?
-Yeah.
Really?
Look, I'll get it tattooed
on my forehead, okay?
-Officer, this is not a prank.
-Really.
Hey! I put my life on the line
to protect this community
and you punks pull this?
-Get outta here.
-Come on, Dani.
And take that cat with you.
(LAUGHING)
What's so funny, Eddie?
Just a bunch of kids pullin' my chain.
-They thought I was a real cop.
-(LAUGHING)
-(ENGINE REVVING)
-(GROANING)
I want you to meet the little woman.
-He has a little woman?
-Sounds tasty.
-Petunia face?
-What?
Will you stop clicking?
-We have company.
-I don't care who...
(GASPS) Sisters,
Satan has married Medusa.
See the snakes in her hair?
I don't wanna play in this.
I don't wanna play.
My three favorite witches.
Aren't you broads a little old
to be trick-or-treating?
We'll be younger in the morning.
Yeah, sure. Me, too.
Excuse me.
Wow! Neat brooms!
Forget the kids,
I'm serving you from my cauldron.
-Winnie! For you.
-Yes?
Master, I thank thee.
What about the book?
We'll get to the book later.
Mary! Go long!
Yeah, you could be a tight end.
Master, would thou dance with me?
Behold!
A torture chamber!
(SCREAMING)
Honey, I've lost five pounds
according to the bathroom...
Master.
Okay. That's it. Party's over.
Get outta my house! Get outta here!
-Get out of my house!
-Sorry.
-Calm down, puddin' face.
-Shove it, Satan.
Oh, thou should not speak
to Master in such a manner.
-They call me Master.
-Wait'll you see what I'm gonna call you.
Now, tart-face, take your Clark Bars
and get outta my house!
Make us!
-(GROWLING)
-(HISSING)
-Honey bunch.
-Ralph! Sic 'em!
-(SHRIEKING)
-(RALPH BARKING)
-My broom!
-My broom!
-My broom!
-Purloined. Curses!
Sisters, look.
It's the chocolate-covered finger
of a man named Clark.
It's candy.
-Why would the Master give us candy?
-Because he is not our Master.
-He isn't?
-And these are not hobgoblins.
-See?
-Cool it, man.
A child!
Weirdos!
-Weirdos?
-Sisters!
All Hallows' Eve has become
a night of frolic,
where children
wear costumes and run amok.
Amok! Amok, amok,
amok, amok, amok...
-Oh, Winnie, just one child.
-Nip!
Oh, great.
How are we gonna find
Mom and Dad in this place?
Hi, hi, hi.
♪(SINGING) Those fingers
♪through my hair
♪That sly "come hither" stare
♪That strips my conscience bare
♪It's witchcraft
I'm gonna look for Mom.
♪And I've got no defense for it
♪The heat is too intense for it
♪What good would
♪common sense for it do
♪It's witchcraft
-Oh, Dad.
-It's not Dad.
It's "Dadcula."
Oh, my goodness, who must
this charming young blood donor be?
-Dad! Somethin' terrible happened!
-Dani? What's wrong?
No, Dani's fine.
Good. Excuse me. Come here.
Mom?
Mom?
Hmm?
What are you supposed to be?
Madonna.
Well, you know...
Well, obviously. Don't you think?
Shoot, Max.
Look, whatever it is, just tell me.
-Come here.
-What?
This cat here, Binx.
He can talk. My brother's a virgin.
He lit the Black Flame Candle.
The witches are back from the dead,
and they're after us.
-We need help.
-How much candy have you had?
Mom, I haven't OD'd.
They're real witches.
They can fly, and they're gonna eat
all the kids in Salem. They're real!
All right. Let's just find your father.
♪It's such an ancient pitch
♪But one I wouldn't switch
Slither about.
Find them.
Oh, no, I'll never switch.
♪'Cause there's
♪no nicer witch than you
♪I put a spell on you
♪And now you're mine
Hey, guys, I love you,
but enough is enough. Just calm down.
-But they're gonna come!
-Don't you see how crazy this sounds?
-Max, Max, they're here!
-What is it?
-Did you find them?
-Sorry.
Get out there and find them.
-Nobody's here, sweetheart.
-Here, hold this.
-Where are you going?
-Max! Max!
Sarah!
♪And now you're mine
Bye.
-Get over here! Did you find them?
-Find who?
♪I ain't lyin'
♪No, I ain't lyin'
-Hey, cut the music.
-I'm in the middle of a song.
It's an emergency. Only for a minute.
Will everybody listen up, please?
Listen to him!
No, he's just getting everybody
worked up!
-Your kids are in danger.
-What do you mean?
Three hundred years ago, the
Sanderson sisters bewitched people.
And now they've returned
from their grave.
(ALL LAUGHING)
Hey, man, I'm serious! It's not a joke.
-This has gone far enough.
-I know this sounds dumb,
but they're here tonight.
They're right over there!
-Huh!
-Wow!
Thank you, Max,
for that marvelous introduction.
(ALL LAUGHING)
♪I put a spell on you
♪And now you're mine
♪You can't stop the things I do
♪I ain't lying
No! No! Don't listen to them!
♪It's been 300 years
♪Right down to the day
♪Now the witch is back
♪And there's hell to pay
♪I put a spell on you
-Good joke. Happy Halloween. Thanks.
-No, man, I'm serious!
-Yeah, yeah, I know.
-You got to believe me!
♪And now you're mine
All right. Gear up. Let's go, guys.
Hello, Salem!
My name's Winifred. What's yours?
♪I put a spell on you
♪-And now you're gone
♪-Gone, gone, gone so long
♪My whammy fell on you
♪-And it was strong
♪-So strong, so strong, so strong
♪Your wretched little lives
♪Have all been cursed
♪'Cause of all the witches working
♪I'm the worst
♪I put a spell on you
♪And now you're mine
Binx, where are you?
♪Watch out, watch out
♪Watch out, watch out
Let's go!
♪If you don't believe
♪You'd better get superstitious
-Mom, Dad, thank God!
-Hey, Max, great show.
Cover your ears!
♪I put a spell on you
Whoa.
♪I put a spell on you
I wish we had the camera.
♪Ah-say-into-pie
♪Oppa-maybe-uppen-die
♪Ah-say-into-pie
♪Oppa-maybe-uppen-die
♪-In-kama-koray-ah-ma
♪-In-kama-koray-ah-ma
♪-Hey, high
♪-Hey, high
♪-Say, bye
♪-Say, bye
♪Bye
♪Bye, bye, bye
(GRUNTING)
Dance, dance, dance until you die!
Oh, Binx, come on!
-This is really bad!
-Max, come on. Calm down.
Look, I want you to take Dani
back to your house
and don't let her out of your sight!
Max, I'm not leaving you.
Okay, guys, who's goin' for the Jacuzzi?
Angelo. Too bad.
Uh-oh.
Get down!
-I smell...
-Yes?
-Winnie, I smell...
-Yes, yes?
I smell scrod.
Scrod. It's a bottom dweller. You cook
it sometimes with lovely bread crumbs,
a little bit of margarine
or olive oil is good. (STAMMERING)
Sarah. Sarah!
(GASPS)
I have an idea.
What is this place?
SARAH: It reeks of children.
WINNIE: It is a prison for children.
(MAX HOWLING)
Welcome to High School Hell.
I'm your host, Boris Karloff, Junior.
(LAUGHING)
It's time to meet our three contestants,
Sarah, Mary and Winifred Sanderson.
Read any good spell books lately?
(BARKS)
Hag tracks!
Get him.
(PANTING RHYTHMICALLY)
FEMALE VOICE: Hello.
Welcome to the library.
(WOMAN SPEAKING
FRENCH ON SPEAKER)
I would like a book.
(WOMAN SPEAKING
FRENCH ON SPEAKER)
What kind of book are you looking for?
-(YELLING)
-(SINISTER CHUCKLING)
We've got them! We've got them!
I am looking for a children's book.
Hello?
(SCREAMING)
Wretches!
-Fire.
-Fire.
It's hot. It's hot.
(WITCHES SCREAMING)
(MAX SCREAMING) Farewell,
Winifred Sanderson!
-Burn! Burn!
-(ALL CHEERING)
All right! Yeah!
Yeah! All right!
(SHOUTING JUBILANTLY)
(SIGHS)
We did it, Binx.
-We stopped them.
-I've wanted to do that for 300 years,
since they took Emily.
You really miss her, don't you?
Man, you can't keep blaming yourself
for that. That happened so long ago.
Take good care of Dani, Max.
You'll never know how precious she is
until you lose her.
Hey, Binx!
Where do you think you're going?
You're a Dennison now, buddy.
One of us.
Come on, Binx. Let's go home.
Home.
Home.
Mom? Dad?
We got a new cat.
Mom?
Well, I guess they're still partying.
Come on in.
You're my kitty now.
You'll have milk and tuna fish every
day. And you'll only hunt mice for fun.
You're going to turn me
into one of those fat,
useless, contented house cats.
(GIGGLES) You betcha.
(CHUCKLES)
You know, Binx,
I'll always take care of you.
My children will take care of you, too.
And their children after that.
And theirs after that.
Forever and ever
and ever.
(PURRING)
(WITCHES SCREAMING)
(WITCHES COUGHING)
Hello. I want my book.
(SPEAKING FRENCH)
(COUGHING)
JAY: You wanna smash some
pumpkins?
ICE: No.
JAY: You wanna look in windows
and watch babes undress?
It's 3:00. They're undressed already.
-Well, then you think of somethin'!
-I don't feel so good.
'Cause you're eatin' too much candy,
you oinker.
(WITCHES MUMBLING)
-Yes!
-Yo, witch! Get your face off my shoe!
Wrong boy. Sorry, Winnie.
Why, why, why was I cursed
with such idiot sisters?
(SOBBING)
Just lucky, I guess.
Oh, man, how come
it's always the ugly chicks
that stay out late?
Chicks?
We haven't much time left.
We shall have to make
-the potion from memory.
-Hey.
-Let us out of here.
-We're really sorry.
-We think you're really cute.
-Hush!
I've got to think.
Hey!
Remember, remember.
BOTH: Remember, Winnie, remember.
Remember, Winnie...
-Now, I remember!
-(BOTH GASPING)
I was here. The book was there.
You, Mary, you were here.
Sarah, you were in the back
dancing, idiotically.
-And the book said...
-Yes?
I remember it like it was yesterday.
Oil of boil and a dead man's nose.
-Dead man's toes!
-She's trying to concentrate.
-No, his thumb.
-Thumbs?
-Or was it his gums?
-I don't know.
A dead man's buns.
-A dead man's buns. Sounds like...
-Mums?
-Mums. Funs. Funs.
-Chungs.
-Chungs?
-Dead man's chungs.
There's no such things as chungs.
-You're right.
-I am? I'm right.
It's no use.
I don't remember the ingredients.
I've got to have my book!
(JAY AND ICE MOANING)
Leave him alone!
I'm gonna puke.
Book.
Come home or make thyself known.
(SOBBING)
-Hi.
-Hi.
Oh, my God. It's 5:00.
My parents are gonna kill me.
I should go.
I wish you could stay.
Poor Binx.
Yeah. Poor Binx.
We owe him a lot.
Yeah.
Look, can we find some kind of way
to help him?
The book.
The witches used it
to put the spell on him.
Maybe there's a way
in here to take it off.
I don't know. Binx told us not to open it.
Well, the witches are dead.
What harm could it do?
Well, just be careful.
I will.
Hold my hand.
All right.
ALLISON: Nothing weird so far.
Winnie, do you want to hit me?
Would that cheer you up?
-Okay.
-(SOBBING)
-There you go. No.
-This is the end. I feel it.
-Okay.
-We are doomed.
I feel the icy breath
of death upon my neck.
-Mary? Take me to the window.
-What?
-I wish to say goodbye.
-Yes, Winnie.
-Good-bye. Good-bye, cruel world.
-Bye-bye.
-Bye-bye, cruel world.
-Good-bye to life.
-Bye-bye, life.
-Good-bye. Good-bye.
-Good-bye-bye.
-Good-bye to all that.
To all that.
Sister! Observe!
They opened it! (LAUGHS)
Just when our time was running out.
-Come! We fly!
-We fly!
On what do we fly?
Into the night!
Winnie?
-Broom, ho!
-(VACUUM STARTS)
Oh, listen to this.
"Only a circle of salt can
protect thy victims from thy power."
(SCREECHING)
-We were just trying to help you.
-Well, don't!
Nothing good can come from this book.
You got it?
Maybe we should go now.
Okay.
Mom? Dad?
They're still not home. That's weird.
Must be havin' a great time.
I don't know. Something's not right.
I'd feel a lot safer walking home
if we had some salt.
Salt.
What's it say?
It says, "Form a circle of salt
to protect from zombies,
"witches and old boyfriends."
And what about new boyfriends?
(GLASS BREAKING)
Dani.
Dani!
Max, the book is gone!
I'm tellin' you, something's weird.
-Dani, wake up.
-Trick or treat?
(SCREAMS)
-Looking for this?
-Or this?
(SCREAMS)
Boy down.
Salt!
What a clever little white witch.
But it will not save thy friends.
No. Come, sisters.
The candle's magic is almost spent.
Dawn approaches.
-Bye-bye.
-DANI: Max!
DANI: Let me go!
Put me down!
(COUGHING)
Dani. Dani.
(WITCHES CACKLING)
Dani!
Are you okay?
-Come on, get up.
-Where's Dani?
WINNIE: Use thy voice, Sarah!
Fill the sky. Bring the little brats to die.
(LAUGHING)
♪(SINGING) Come, little children
♪I'll take thee away
♪Into a land
♪Of enchantment
♪Come, little children
♪The time's come to play
♪Here in my garden
♪Of magic
-Dani!
-Dani!
Hey!
Hey, you guys!
Don't listen to her! Hey, up here!
-Don't listen to her!
-Max, Max, I figured it out!
-What?
-Winifred said,
"The candle's magic will soon be spent.
"And dawn approaches."
The Black Flame Candle only brought
them back for this one Halloween night.
And unless they can steal
the lives of children,
when the sun comes up, they're dust.
Yeah, but how can we make
the sun come up? They've got Dani.
We need a miracle.
The children are coming!
Well done, sister Sarah.
(STRAINING)
THACKERY: Let me out of here!
ALLISON: Hurry, okay? But watch out.
Come on.
-MAX: Get out of the way! Move it!
-(HONKING)
I'm gonna ralph.
-Open up.
-No more candy, please.
Soon the lives of all
thy little friends will be mine.
And I shall be young
and beautiful again forever.
It doesn't matter how young
or old you are! You sold your soul!
You're the ugliest thing
that's ever lived and you know it!
You die first.
Hmph!
(BOYS SCREAMING)
-'Tis ready. Pry open her mouth.
-Gladly.
-Dani, don't drink it!
-Shut up, you!
Open your mouth. Open it.
She bit me.
(GROANING)
Prepare to die!
Again.
You! You have no powers here, you fool!
-Hollywood!
-Maybe not,
but there's a power
greater than your magic.
-And that's knowledge!
-JAY: Come on, man.
And there's one thing
that I know that you don't.
And what is that, dude?
Daylight savings time.
"Daylight savings time."
(ALL SCREAMING)
Max,
-get me out of here!
-WINNIE: The sun!
It hurts.
-It's okay, Binx! I got you.
-Hot cat. Hot cat.
Hey, let me outta here.
Help, help. Hey!
Hollywood, help us out here?
Tubular.
(GROANING)
-Yes!
-Let me outta here, man.
-Come on, Dani, let's go!
-Let me outta here!
Max, I wanna see her turn to dust.
Pump it!
Allison.
(CAR DOORS CLOSING)
(TIRES SQUEALING)
(TIRES SCREECHING)
-I am alive!
-Damn that boy! He's tricked us again.
-Oh, you're right. You're always right.
-It's my curse.
That, and you two.
Get off me, you thundering oafs!
Sorry.
Look! The candle's almost out!
And my potion. My beautiful potion.
Look! There's just enough left
for one child.
Get the vial!
Come on! Move it!
Oh, joy. What luck.
This is perfect
for that little towheaded brat.
We have a child.
-Him!
-And look, Winnie.
More children are arriving. Come on in.
Winnie, Winnie, we'll make more potion,
because we have the book!
We haven't the time! Besides,
I want to get that little
rat-faced kid that called me...
-Don't even say it.
-Ugly?
(BOTH SQUEALING)
Oh, honey. I know.
-She really hurt my feelings.
-She's jealous.
-She don't even know me.
-I know.
You know, I always wanted a child
and now I think I'll have one
on toast!
Step on it, Max!
Are they following us?
No.
Good.
Pull over!
Let me see your driver's permit.
Resisting arrest?
Yee-haw!
Way to go!
-THACKERY: Hurry! Hurry!
-Max!
Go, go, go, go, go.
THACKERY: Come on!
Let's get a move on!
-Max!
-No, wait, Dani!
Run, Dani, run!
Billy!
Billy, listen to me! Kill him if you must.
Just bring me that child, that Dani.
And put some wiggle in it,
you putrid, festering sore!
Don't dawdle. Come along now!
Come along now.
Kill him! Do it now!
Wench!
Trollop!
You buck-toothed,
mop-riding, firefly from hell!
(EXCLAIMING)
I've waited centuries to say that.
Oh, say what you want.
Just don't breathe on me.
Billy!
I killed you once. I shall kill you again,
you maggoty malfeasance.
Hang on to your heads!
-Max, run!
-Move out of the way!
Wait, wait, no! No! No.
He's a good zombie.
Come on.
THACKERY: Come on. We'll have
to hold them out until dawn.
-It's our only hope.
-Hi, Billy.
-You'll be safe in here.
-Thank you.
-You okay, Dani?
-Yeah, fine.
All right, then.
In we go. There.
Here they come!
Billy, guard Dani. Max, Allison,
spread out!
For the last time,
prepare to meet thy doom!
(LAUGHING) You little pest.
I've had enough of you.
(LAUGHING)
(SCREAMS)
-DANI: Billy!
-Go to hell!
Oh, I've been there, thank you.
I found it quite lovely.
(CHUCKLING)
Billy, I think you dropped this.
Oh, God!
Max!
(SCREAMING)
Dani!
Bye-bye, big brother!
(WINNIE CACKLING)
All right, you little trollimog.
Hold on, Dani!
This'll teach you to call people ugly.
Open your mouth.
Open your mouth, I say!
WINNIE: Confound you!
-Give me that vial!
-Put her down or I'll smash it!
Smash it and she dies!
-Max!
-No!
Max, no!
Now you have no choice!
You have to take me.
What a fool to give up thy life
for thy sister's.
(DANI SCREAMS)
DANI: Max!
-Dani!
-Allison, Billy.
Put him down!
-Boy!
-Max!
(BOTH GROANING)
DANI: Max!
Hallowed ground! Sisters!
-Winnie, I'm coming!
-(VACUUM STARTS)
Pull! Harder!
Harder!
I'm going to teach you
a lesson you'll never forget!
Sarah!
Come on. Come and get me!
Let go now!
(SCREAMING)
(SCREAMS)
(SCREAMING)
(GROANS)
Book.
Winnie! Goodbye.
Uh-oh.
Bye-bye.
(MEOWING WEAKLY)
Oh, yeah.
DANI: Max!
Max, are you okay?
Yeah, I think so.
You saved my life.
Well, I had to. I'm your big brother.
I love you, jerkface.
I love you, too.
Come on.
Bye, Billy. Have a nice sleep.
Hey, Billy.
Thanks.
Where's Binx?
Binx?
Binx?
Binx!
He's gone. He's gone, Dani.
But he can't die, remember?
Wake up, Binx. Binx, wake up.
Like last time!
THACKERY: Dani.
Come on. Please don't be sad for me.
Binx?
-Is that you?
-Yeah.
The witches are dead.
My soul's finally free.
You freed me, Dani.
Thank you. Hey, Max.
Thanks for lighting the candle.
EMILY: Thackery.
Thackery Binx.
It's Emily.
I shall always be with you.
Thackery Binx, what took thee so long?
I'm sorry, Emily.
I had to wait 300 years
for a virgin to light a candle.
JENNY: I put a spell on you.
(LAUGHING)
I put a spell on you.
And I thought LA was a party town.
Yeah. Wow.
♪Row, row, row your boat
♪-Gently down the stream
♪-Row, row, row your boat
♪-Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily
♪-Gently down the stream
♪-Life is but a dream
♪-Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily
♪-Row, row, row your boat
♪-Life is but a dream
♪Gently down the stream
♪WINNIE: (SINGING) I put a spell on you
♪-And now you're gone
♪-Gone, gone, gone so long
♪My whammy fell on you
♪-And it was strong
♪-So strong, so strong, so strong
♪Your wretched little lives
♪Have all been cursed
♪'Cause of all the witches working
♪I'm the worst
♪I put a spell on you
♪And now you're mine
♪Watch out, watch out
♪watch out, watch out!
♪She'll deny you!
♪If you don't believe
♪You'd better get superstitious
♪-Ask my sisters
♪-She's vicious!
♪I put a spell on you
♪A wicked spell
♪I put a spell on you
♪Sisters!
♪Ah-Say-Into-Pie
♪Oppa-Maybe-Uppen-Die
♪Ah-Say-Into-Pie
♪Oppa-Maybe-Uppen-Die
♪-In-Kama-Koray-Ah-Ma
♪-In-Kama-Koray-Ah-Ma
♪Hey, high, say bye-bye!
♪Bye-bye!