Higher Than a Kite (1943) - full transcript
The stooges are auto mechanics working for the Royal Air Force in England. After wrecking an officer's car they need a place to hide, but their choice, a sewer pipe, turns out to a bomb which is dropped on the enemy. Finding themselves behind enemy lines, Moe and Curly disguise as German officers and Larry dresses as a seductive fraulein. While General Bommel chases after Larry, Moe and Curly steal the secret plans from the Nazi high command.
Flight number seven took off.
Now men,
you know your objective.
- Instructions all clear?
- Aye.
- Aye, aye.
- Okay, men. Scramble off, my lads!
- Hey, did you do the corners?
- Why, certainly.
- Hey, what's that?
- My lunch.
Why, you...
Get that...
I'm sick of this.
We came overseas to join the RAF,
and we're still civilians
working in a garage.
How did we know you would
have to pass an intelligence test?
And what did you answer
when they asked
"What does a navigator do?"
I told 'em a navigator
crawls in a swamp
until it becomes a suitcase,
and bites like this, too.
No, like this.
Go on, get started.
- Switch on!
- Switch on!
- Switch on!
- It is on.
Ooh!
Hey, is that all you got to do?
Lay down on the job?
Why don't you stick out your hand
when you make a U-turn?
This is Colonel Henderson's car,
and it's got a little squeak,
and it's driving the Colonel nuts.
I want it taken out. Savvy?
Leave it to us. We'll squelch
that squeak in nothin' flat.
And I want it fixed
by three o'clock. Or else!
- Or else what?
- Or else this.
Yeow!
Okay, men, to work.
Hike, hike, hike!
Ooh!
What are you lookin' for?
I'm lookin' for the squeak.
- I'm sorry, Moe. Did it hurt?
- No.
- Oh, I'm glad.
- Does this?
Oh, ah, oh...
Oh! Ah! Oh!
Ouch!
Get outta here!
- Hey...
- Go 'way. I'm busy.
Oh! Burglars!
Oh, I didn't know
it was you, Moe.
Come on, outta that car.
Get up there,
and take care of the motor.
Oh! A navigator!
Ouch! Ooh!
Oh! Back-biter, huh?
Oh! Oh!
Hey, Larry!
It's chewin' my arm off!
Oh, did you see
what that did to me?
Never mind. I'll start the motor.
See if you can find the squeak.
Help! Help!
Help!
Get me out!
Help! Help!
What're you doin'
down there, Moe?
Get me out.
I'm suffocatin'.
C'mon, we gotta get him out.
Ouch!
Ooh!
Ooh!
Ow!
It's no use.
We can't get him out this way.
Wait a minute.
Maybe this'll help?
Ooooooow!
Ow! Ow!
Owowowowow!
He got my bait!
Ooh!
Get me owowowowow!
Ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow!
It's no use.
Oh! The anvil!
Let's break it off.
Get me outta here,
will ya, fellas?
Take your time.
Take your time.
Now look, lay it
right down there like that.
No, no, no!
Take it easy!
Fore!
Oh! Ow!
Say, if we heat it, it'll slip off.
Why didn't I think of that?
Come on, let's get goin'.
Okay.
I'll murder you guys!
Oh!
Hey, fellas, what's cookin'?
It's me!
I'm burnin' up!
That oughta be hot enough.
It's too hot!
Let's put it in the water
and cool it off.
Help! Help!
Oh, boy! Oh, boy!
Hey, let's put his head in the vice,
and yank it off!
Get me outta here!
Hey, brace him up.
I'll pull his legs.
Oh! Oh!
Wait a minute.
We'll twist him out.
- Whaddaya say?
- Okay.
Not that!
Wait a minute!
Wait a minute!
Oh! Oh! Ooh!
Oh, oh, oooooh!
There we are!
Got you out, didn't we?
Without even hurtin' the pipe.
Yeah.
I'll murder you guys!
Hey, look out! Look out, Moe,
you'll break the hammer!
I'll bust your skull!
Well, this is the last thing in there,
and still no squeak.
What does a squeak look like?
Well, they're usually a small...
Why, ya jugheads, you'll never
get this thing together in time.
Hey, here comes Kelly.
I'll stall him off while
you guys get the parts back in.
- Hello, Kelly. You're a little early.
- How early?
Well, roughly about two days,
when you smooth it out
about a fortnight.
Look, I don't like jokes. Understand?
Hmm, looks pretty good.
Say, that windshield looks so clean, you
wouldn't know there was any glass in it.
You said it.
Did you get that squeak out?
Boy, we got everything out.
I'll drive her right out.
Now wait a minute, Kelly, listen...
- There's one little thing that...
- Never mind. I'm in a hurry.
Sounds good!
Don't forget to put in
a good word to the Colonel.
- Yeah, we still wanna be fliers.
- And wear wings.
- So you wanted wings, eh?
- Certainly.
Well, if this is what I think it is,
you'll get your wings,
and a harp with 'em!
Oooh!
Oh! Get me outta here!
Hey, come on, you gophers.
Get in this sewer pipe, quick!
Okay, Joe, this baby's next.
Let's load it on the plane.
Hey, I think we're movin'.
Ah, how can a sewer pipe move?
What are we gonna do now?
What did you say?
I said,
"What are we gonna do now?"
We gotta get out of this.
Let me get up.
Let me get up.
I'm dizzy again.
This thing must be fallin'.
Maybe they're droppin'
the pipe in a ditch.
Well, let's get outta here, quick!
We'll be suffocated. Open her up.
Hey, that plane just
dropped a blockbuster!
Yeah, and we're in it!
Oh, it's draughty.
Let's close this door.
Don't you listen to our radio?
Don't you know a
German soldier never runs?
Oh boy, a one-point landing.
- What's the matter with you?
- I'm waitin' for my stomach.
Ah, let's find out where we are.
Oh!
Gonna murder you when I get up.
It's a house.
An avocady's uncle!
Hmm.
Hmmmmm!
- What are you up to?
- You got a nutcracker?
- Why, you idiot. That's a bomb!
- Oh, yeah. I'm...
I oughta use a nutcracker
on your head.
- What happened?
- What happened? We gotta get outta here.
What kind of a uniform is this?
Well, it ain't bad.
Oh, it's got wings, too.
Wings for the Beagle.
Oh, twenty per cent burlap.
Hey, go get your own.
I saw this first.
What? Marshal Boring, here?
I'll be right out!
I wonder how he
caught up with us?
I'm hungry.
Don't tell me you wanna eat some more
of those sawdust frankfurters.
They ain't bad with mustard.
Yeah, but that wasn't mustard.
Hey! Look!
Checkers!
White moves first.
Ooh!
Crown me!
Oh! Mmmm!
- Schicklgruber!
- Hmmm!
Sssh! Quiet!
Here comes somebody.
Come on, let's get outta here.
Achtung!
- Heil Hitler!
- Heil Hitler!
Marshal Boring,
where is your automobile?
Dummkopf!
I only got an "A" card.
Oh, I show you the maps.
Oh!
- Heil!
- Heil!
No wonder we're retreating.
Marshal Boring, wait until you see
the position our troops are in.
- Will you be surprised!
- I'd better be.
Boring and Bommel!
Come on, let's see
what they're up to.
What is this?
- The 28th Division in the Red Sea.
- The Red Sea.
Und der Afrika Korps
in the North Pole!
Dummkopf!
Dummkopf!
Dummkopf!
Dumm... no cuff!
These plans mean nothing.
- I have other plans from ze Führer.
- Oh?
- He got some from a new astrologer.
- That is so?
We Germans never get stuck!
Aaaaah!
So, you're trying to
make a booby of me, huh?
Give me some wine.
Larry!
Hey, hold on.
There's no wine in there, General.
Wunt sein!
Oh!
- Heil!
- Who are you?
I am Moronika.
Ach, a lady!
Well, business could wait!
Come here, my little Edelweiss!
- Sit on my lap.
- What lap?
Pardon me, General.
I think I know the Fräulein.
Did you ever play football
for the Giants?
Go on, get the plans.
They're in his coat.
He don't appeal to me.
Was?
You heard the Marshal.
Orders is orders.
That's the way...
- I got the plans!
- Good. Where are they?
Stop it!
How dare you strike a woman?
Why, you...
Ach, my little begonia! You...
Oh!
- Heil!
- Heel!
Ooh! Oh!
Oh, Marshal,
you're so big and strong.
Oh, do you mean that?
I love every chin on your face.
You know, I got a feeling
I'm going to fall for you.
I know you are.
Moe! Curly! Let me out.
He went thataw...
Spies!
Guards! Guards!
So, huh?
Heil Hitler!
- Heil!
- Du Schweine!
- Heil Hitler!
- Heil!
- Heil Hitler!
- Heil!
- Heil Hitler!
- Hey-ul!
- Heil Hitler!
- Heil!
Heil Hitler!
Hep! Hip! Hep!
Hip! Hep! Hip!
SUBTITLES BY POWERHOUSE FILMS LTD
Now men,
you know your objective.
- Instructions all clear?
- Aye.
- Aye, aye.
- Okay, men. Scramble off, my lads!
- Hey, did you do the corners?
- Why, certainly.
- Hey, what's that?
- My lunch.
Why, you...
Get that...
I'm sick of this.
We came overseas to join the RAF,
and we're still civilians
working in a garage.
How did we know you would
have to pass an intelligence test?
And what did you answer
when they asked
"What does a navigator do?"
I told 'em a navigator
crawls in a swamp
until it becomes a suitcase,
and bites like this, too.
No, like this.
Go on, get started.
- Switch on!
- Switch on!
- Switch on!
- It is on.
Ooh!
Hey, is that all you got to do?
Lay down on the job?
Why don't you stick out your hand
when you make a U-turn?
This is Colonel Henderson's car,
and it's got a little squeak,
and it's driving the Colonel nuts.
I want it taken out. Savvy?
Leave it to us. We'll squelch
that squeak in nothin' flat.
And I want it fixed
by three o'clock. Or else!
- Or else what?
- Or else this.
Yeow!
Okay, men, to work.
Hike, hike, hike!
Ooh!
What are you lookin' for?
I'm lookin' for the squeak.
- I'm sorry, Moe. Did it hurt?
- No.
- Oh, I'm glad.
- Does this?
Oh, ah, oh...
Oh! Ah! Oh!
Ouch!
Get outta here!
- Hey...
- Go 'way. I'm busy.
Oh! Burglars!
Oh, I didn't know
it was you, Moe.
Come on, outta that car.
Get up there,
and take care of the motor.
Oh! A navigator!
Ouch! Ooh!
Oh! Back-biter, huh?
Oh! Oh!
Hey, Larry!
It's chewin' my arm off!
Oh, did you see
what that did to me?
Never mind. I'll start the motor.
See if you can find the squeak.
Help! Help!
Help!
Get me out!
Help! Help!
What're you doin'
down there, Moe?
Get me out.
I'm suffocatin'.
C'mon, we gotta get him out.
Ouch!
Ooh!
Ooh!
Ow!
It's no use.
We can't get him out this way.
Wait a minute.
Maybe this'll help?
Ooooooow!
Ow! Ow!
Owowowowow!
He got my bait!
Ooh!
Get me owowowowow!
Ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow!
It's no use.
Oh! The anvil!
Let's break it off.
Get me outta here,
will ya, fellas?
Take your time.
Take your time.
Now look, lay it
right down there like that.
No, no, no!
Take it easy!
Fore!
Oh! Ow!
Say, if we heat it, it'll slip off.
Why didn't I think of that?
Come on, let's get goin'.
Okay.
I'll murder you guys!
Oh!
Hey, fellas, what's cookin'?
It's me!
I'm burnin' up!
That oughta be hot enough.
It's too hot!
Let's put it in the water
and cool it off.
Help! Help!
Oh, boy! Oh, boy!
Hey, let's put his head in the vice,
and yank it off!
Get me outta here!
Hey, brace him up.
I'll pull his legs.
Oh! Oh!
Wait a minute.
We'll twist him out.
- Whaddaya say?
- Okay.
Not that!
Wait a minute!
Wait a minute!
Oh! Oh! Ooh!
Oh, oh, oooooh!
There we are!
Got you out, didn't we?
Without even hurtin' the pipe.
Yeah.
I'll murder you guys!
Hey, look out! Look out, Moe,
you'll break the hammer!
I'll bust your skull!
Well, this is the last thing in there,
and still no squeak.
What does a squeak look like?
Well, they're usually a small...
Why, ya jugheads, you'll never
get this thing together in time.
Hey, here comes Kelly.
I'll stall him off while
you guys get the parts back in.
- Hello, Kelly. You're a little early.
- How early?
Well, roughly about two days,
when you smooth it out
about a fortnight.
Look, I don't like jokes. Understand?
Hmm, looks pretty good.
Say, that windshield looks so clean, you
wouldn't know there was any glass in it.
You said it.
Did you get that squeak out?
Boy, we got everything out.
I'll drive her right out.
Now wait a minute, Kelly, listen...
- There's one little thing that...
- Never mind. I'm in a hurry.
Sounds good!
Don't forget to put in
a good word to the Colonel.
- Yeah, we still wanna be fliers.
- And wear wings.
- So you wanted wings, eh?
- Certainly.
Well, if this is what I think it is,
you'll get your wings,
and a harp with 'em!
Oooh!
Oh! Get me outta here!
Hey, come on, you gophers.
Get in this sewer pipe, quick!
Okay, Joe, this baby's next.
Let's load it on the plane.
Hey, I think we're movin'.
Ah, how can a sewer pipe move?
What are we gonna do now?
What did you say?
I said,
"What are we gonna do now?"
We gotta get out of this.
Let me get up.
Let me get up.
I'm dizzy again.
This thing must be fallin'.
Maybe they're droppin'
the pipe in a ditch.
Well, let's get outta here, quick!
We'll be suffocated. Open her up.
Hey, that plane just
dropped a blockbuster!
Yeah, and we're in it!
Oh, it's draughty.
Let's close this door.
Don't you listen to our radio?
Don't you know a
German soldier never runs?
Oh boy, a one-point landing.
- What's the matter with you?
- I'm waitin' for my stomach.
Ah, let's find out where we are.
Oh!
Gonna murder you when I get up.
It's a house.
An avocady's uncle!
Hmm.
Hmmmmm!
- What are you up to?
- You got a nutcracker?
- Why, you idiot. That's a bomb!
- Oh, yeah. I'm...
I oughta use a nutcracker
on your head.
- What happened?
- What happened? We gotta get outta here.
What kind of a uniform is this?
Well, it ain't bad.
Oh, it's got wings, too.
Wings for the Beagle.
Oh, twenty per cent burlap.
Hey, go get your own.
I saw this first.
What? Marshal Boring, here?
I'll be right out!
I wonder how he
caught up with us?
I'm hungry.
Don't tell me you wanna eat some more
of those sawdust frankfurters.
They ain't bad with mustard.
Yeah, but that wasn't mustard.
Hey! Look!
Checkers!
White moves first.
Ooh!
Crown me!
Oh! Mmmm!
- Schicklgruber!
- Hmmm!
Sssh! Quiet!
Here comes somebody.
Come on, let's get outta here.
Achtung!
- Heil Hitler!
- Heil Hitler!
Marshal Boring,
where is your automobile?
Dummkopf!
I only got an "A" card.
Oh, I show you the maps.
Oh!
- Heil!
- Heil!
No wonder we're retreating.
Marshal Boring, wait until you see
the position our troops are in.
- Will you be surprised!
- I'd better be.
Boring and Bommel!
Come on, let's see
what they're up to.
What is this?
- The 28th Division in the Red Sea.
- The Red Sea.
Und der Afrika Korps
in the North Pole!
Dummkopf!
Dummkopf!
Dummkopf!
Dumm... no cuff!
These plans mean nothing.
- I have other plans from ze Führer.
- Oh?
- He got some from a new astrologer.
- That is so?
We Germans never get stuck!
Aaaaah!
So, you're trying to
make a booby of me, huh?
Give me some wine.
Larry!
Hey, hold on.
There's no wine in there, General.
Wunt sein!
Oh!
- Heil!
- Who are you?
I am Moronika.
Ach, a lady!
Well, business could wait!
Come here, my little Edelweiss!
- Sit on my lap.
- What lap?
Pardon me, General.
I think I know the Fräulein.
Did you ever play football
for the Giants?
Go on, get the plans.
They're in his coat.
He don't appeal to me.
Was?
You heard the Marshal.
Orders is orders.
That's the way...
- I got the plans!
- Good. Where are they?
Stop it!
How dare you strike a woman?
Why, you...
Ach, my little begonia! You...
Oh!
- Heil!
- Heel!
Ooh! Oh!
Oh, Marshal,
you're so big and strong.
Oh, do you mean that?
I love every chin on your face.
You know, I got a feeling
I'm going to fall for you.
I know you are.
Moe! Curly! Let me out.
He went thataw...
Spies!
Guards! Guards!
So, huh?
Heil Hitler!
- Heil!
- Du Schweine!
- Heil Hitler!
- Heil!
- Heil Hitler!
- Heil!
- Heil Hitler!
- Hey-ul!
- Heil Hitler!
- Heil!
Heil Hitler!
Hep! Hip! Hep!
Hip! Hep! Hip!
SUBTITLES BY POWERHOUSE FILMS LTD