Higher Love (2020) - full transcript

Who the fuck is goin' to Camden?

Yeah, Camden is, uh, for the rest
of the country a... a shithole.

I always imagined
Camden like, uh

- like Detroit... like RoboCop's Detroit.
- Yeah, yeah.

You know, I always
think of it like that.

And you go over that
bridge down there

- and you're on your own.
- Nice.

It's gotta be like I Am Legend
when you go home at night.

Pour bleach on the stairs
and lock your doors, man.

Let's go to Mike
in Jersey. Mike.

There are plenty of places
like this around the country.



I'm tellin' you, man, you take
a drive, you'll see this shit.

Well, there you got
the death of a city.

- Yeah.
- Well, Camden's a perfect example.

- I bet you they were a happenin' little city.
- Yeah.

And then whatever industry it
was, went away, and that was it.

- That's what happens in America.
- That's what happens.

This is the old abandoned
Campbell Soup factory.

Um, so I'm gonna see
if anyone seen her.

- Hello.
- -How are you doin'?

- How are you?
- -Pretty good.

I'm tryin' to find,
uh, this girl.

Have you seen her?

She looks familiar, seriously.

- How long has she been missing?
- About four days.



Alright, then. Do you
know like ar... what area?

- Well, she goes out a... -Mt. Ephraim Ave.
- In Polak Town.

- Yeah.
- Seriously.

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

- Polak, okay.
- Yeah.

Hmm.

Won't answer the fuckin' phone.

That's my... my...
one of my points was

what's... what's the... what's the
p... purpose of havin' a fuckin' phone

if you don't answer it.

Hmm, why wouldn't you
answer your phone?

Come on, you guys. You
guys gotta sing the song.

♪ It's a beautiful day
In the neighborhood ♪

♪ A beautiful day In
the neighborhood ♪

♪ Would you be mine
Would you be mine ♪

♪ Would you be my neighbor ♪

All the women say I should leave
him alone. Ha-ha, ha-ha, ha.

- You got the damn...
- Tell the bitch to find a man of their own.

Man of their own.

All these bitches on Federal
Street try to fuckin' fuck my man.

And try to give him
false information,

'cause my man goes around paying these
little fuckin' whores for information.

I've been with him for seven years now
and all we fight about is me doing drugs.

Like if I weren't getting high, I'd
probably be like livin' it up right now.

He has a very good job.

He's a printer, he makes
$40 an hour, you know,

and when he got with me he was like
doin' so good, livin' the life,

and I kind of came in, and
fucked it all up for him.

So this is my daily
routine. Come to the hood.

I call this the
"belly of the beast."

I haven't seen her
in... four days.

When she gets her mind made up and she
wants to get high, that's what she does.

And she finds a way
to stay out here.

Knock, knock.

I took a pregnancy test,
and it came up negative,

and I didn't think I was
pregnant, 'cause of the test,

and my stomach kept growin',
and then like I got scared.

I thought something was
wrong with my liver.

And the test was
just out of date.

And then yeah, I was just laying in
bed, and I felt like moving and shit.

And I'm like, "Oh, shit,
I'm fuckin' pregnant."

And I was already too... too
late to have an abortion, so.

The longer she's out here the
more damage she does to the baby.

So, I'm... I'm always desperate.
It's a desperate thing.

So this is her hiding spot.

And they'll come back here and
she'll smoke her fucking crack.

See, dude, we have
there methadone.

They'd be right here fuckin'.

Then they're... they
push or somethin'.

That's... that's the
plunger and the needle.

Or come back here.

Be in this motherfucker and gettin'
high. That's what they all did.

They'll sit on these
nasty fuckin' beds.

My father died with a needle in his
arm and my mom used to shoot powder,

so it was in my genes
to wanna get high.

And you know, I think about my last pregnancy
how I got high throughout my whole pregnancy

and nothing was
wrong with my son.

He had no withdrawal,
he had nothin'.

And my man tells me all the
time, "It's not the same.

That doesn't mean that that's gonna happen
this time, because now you're older,

you've been doing drugs longer, you know what
I mean, and every situation is not the same."

And I argue and I fight with him all
the time, but he's 100 percent right,

and I love him to death, and I just... I
just wish sometimes he could understand where

where I come from, but...

Yo, what the fuck is up
with Nik, is she okay?

I'm just chillin' here.

Okay, I'm making sure.

Nikki. Hang, hang on, Nikki.

- Oh.
- - She is so determined...

How many bags of
dope are you missing?

Oh, my God!

They all got scared.

This shit is good.

Birds of a feather
flock together.

They're all in the same boat, so
sometimes they will hide her, you know?

They're get-high buddies.

No one likes to smoke crack by themselves,
no one likes to do dope by themselves.

They're tryin' to
bring Camden back.

Center of city, they're
puttin' a lot of money into it,

but if you don't change this epidemic of
addiction and dope, it's not gonna change.

They're gonna break in,
they're gonna steal the pipes,

they're gonna... they're
gonna tear it down.

You know, the people
have to change.

The mentality has to change.

This time in the morning, uh, normally
people are givin' out samples of dope.

Yeah. Uh, uh, in right east.

Night of the Walking Dead, everyone's
gonna be congregatin' around

talkin' about who has what dope.

I just... I bought
him a new crib.

I didn't get a chance
to put it together.

It just got delivered
the other day, but...

It's actually gonna
be... it's a two-in-one.

It turns into a...
a bed form later.

So, I just got that for him.

These are pictures of
the, uh, good times.

Before the drugs took over.

We were just out havin' fun.

We haven't done
that in years now.

I mean, there's not any fuckin' drug
that Nani wouldn't do, you know?

And I just don't... I don't get it how she
could do that with a baby in her belly.

She has no thought of it.

- I've seen this morning.
- Nani, I've just seen Nani this morning, yeah.

He comes down and tries
to get her to go home.

I mean, he'll buy her stuff, but he'll buy
her... like here you've been... get her me

he'll get her a
bottle of methadone.

She was on the
methadone though...

Yep, she was on the methadone, uh, but
she wants more, so like it's never a no.

Nani's been trying to be good, but
Nani likes the streets too much.

Well, I mean, it is
what it is, though.

- Like what are we gonna do?
- It is what it is, it's bullshit.

Oh, I got it.

What time is it?

Sonny's supposed to be dropping
the dope off at 4:00, right, Sarah?

No, you were supposed
to have been met him.

He probably needed you
to cook something up.

- He was supposed to be coming out with it at 4:00.
- -Alright.

Now would you just listen?

Now, I remember with my first
bit of school clothes money

my uncle and my dad gave me, I went
and bought a quarter and a scoop.

And that guy gave me an ounce.

And I moved 10 kilos every week.

Every Monday and Sunday I got 10 kilos
in at 24,000 a key, you do the math.

See, I work, too.

I made like 84 grand
a year at work.

Great Valley engineer, 15 years.

So, I'm, man, I'm
pretty good, man.

Caught my habit from, ah, putting it together
and from there on, fuck, I got a dealer's habit.

It got worse. Doin' about
5 grams a day at one time.

When I met Iman, all
he did was smoke weed.

He used to chase Nikki around, 'cause Nikki
was gettin' high and he was only smoking weed

and he would be like, "What
the fuck, have you see Nikki?"

- Remember, back in the day?
- Yeah.

I went once to rehab and
it worked, but I fucked up.

Me worryin' about
Nik, my stupid ass,

thinkin' I could save someone
who didn't wanna be saved.

Why? You get stuck.
Stop bein' an addict.

Because I had a bad time in my
life, and it made me feel better.

You're missing what I'm sayin'.

I know what you're sayin', Nik.

I met her through
selling drugs to her.

Me and her almost
got into a fight.

And then come to find out
she liked me the whole time.

You gotta hit me first, Nik.

I'm serious, Nik, you gotta
hit me first. I'm dead serious.

- What the fuck I just say?
- Mm-hmm.

- What is your problem?
- Where is the cotton at?

Right here. You
gotta get that, too?

I need the ganya. Look at
the other shit in there.

You wanna come to my level or...

Too tight now.

She came here, she
got stuck here.

- Thank you.
- Mm-hmm.

It's dope city, man.

Hello, no one is available
to take your call.

Please leave a message
after the tone.

Can you call me now, please?

Before we leave Camden, I wanna make
sure she's not somewhere in Camden.

And I'm gonna take
my time to look

because I know they're riding'
around with some frickin' guy.

And, uh... hey, did you see the... see
the guy with the booze standin' there?

That might have been her.

It's 1:30 in the mornin' and they're sittin'
there, they were s... they're smoking crack

in front of the set and the cops are
right there, and it's a known set.

What is that? Baby, you thirsty.

- No.
- Or you don't like this water?

- Yeah, yeah, that's that flavor. Well, I don't like it.
- This

- this water is delicious.
- Mm-hmm.

And it's good for you.

Mm, I'm about to go... actually
go... lay down, go to sleep,

and wake up in the
morning, and...

Isn't it much better to lay
down in the bed with me?

- No, it is. I mean, when...
- What's more comforting than laying with your man?

It is when we're together and I love
you, but right now, uh-huh, it's not...

What's... what's the
best thing in the world?

The best thing in the world is for me
to get rest and get to my appointments.

Well, where you
rest the best at?

I rest best in a bed.

And whose bed, and with whose feet you wrap
your feet around, and whose arms you're in?

What makes you feel better?

How come you don't say that shit when
you're callin' me a slut, a whore,

- and a prostitute up in that Federal?
- Well... well... If... If...

- Why don't you say that then?
- You know, when I say that?

I say that when I'm very angry and I'm
very fed up with people and things.

Well, you're angry every day.

Well, baby when... when you just took
that blast, that makes me very angry

- and I'm tryin' to be very patient.
- I know you're angry

- and I know you're mad...
- And I have to... and...

- And I know that.
- And I all I can think about...

All I can think about is how's
ti... how tight your stomach is

and what my little baby is doing
right now. That's what I think about.

Listen, I don't
give a fuck, okay?

I'm pregnant and I'm on the
fuckin' set. I gotta go, okay?

I love you. I will call
you in the morning.

She got her hair all
pressed out, you see?

I knew she was around.

- Yo, who that, Daryl?
- -Yes, Sir.

You know, you had motherfuckers
wondering what the fuck y'all doing?

- I'm doin' what I always do.
- What, chasing Nani?

- Yeah.
- And you chasin' her around?

I'm not chasin'
her around at all.

I'm hav... actually having
a conversation with her.

Yo, she just over there from us.

I mean, they... and they
thinking y'all police.

Ain't no goddamn police.

Ain't nobody know
that shit though.

Iman said, "What you doin'?
You chasin' Nani around?"

Man, that girl ain't goin'
back." What, what, what, what?

Oh, what's the matter, 'cause no one's
tryna save you? Everyone gave up on you?

And people like Iman and Nikki would be
the ones to say, "Oh, let Nani stay."

So they can rob her
when she nods out.

- Baby? Did you get your vitamins back yet?
- -Yeah? No.

But the doctor said your blood count
is supposed to be 14 and it's 7.

And he told her if you
were to go into labor,

you would need a massive blood
transfusion and you may not survive.

- How many doctor's appointments have you made so far?
- Like that's the thing.

- Like, yeah.
- In seven months you went to doctors...

- It's gotta be your way or my way.
- -No, mama, no.

- No, man, no. - Your way...
- your way is not

is not... is not the right way.

- Think, just think about it.
- What do you mean my way's not the right way?

Listen to me. In... in seven months of
pregnancy you went to a prenatal visit twice.

I understand that. So, I mean...

So, obviously, you
can't do it on your own.

You know, you're puttin' through a little
puppy or lookin' at a little kitten,

and take some arsenic or some iodine and
drop it in their milk, which is poison.

What do you think that
dope is to my baby?

What do you think that
crack is doin' to my baby?

Oh, I don't wanna hear it down, I don't
wanna think about, then that's the problem,

'cause the people you surround
yourself with aren't thinkin' about it.

And then you have to think
about how strong is Nani's body,

because she's never had a reprieve
from doin' all these hard drugs.

So, I don't know.

I don't know... I don't
know if I'm equipped.

Who loves you, baby?

Who love... what
are you crying for?

- I'm fine, go!
- You need to...

I'm fine, go!

What are you crying for, baby?

Stop! Stop, go.

I love you. What are
you crying for, baby?

You told me never
give up on you, right?

Ain't that what you told me?

Alright, I'll call
you when I'm fine.

Then... then tell me
why are you crying?

I don't think this is
gonna be a happy ending.

And, um, at one point, I still
have to determine whether or not

I'm gonna be equipped to deal with
the baby with so many problems.

Snack and have culinary...

Hey, baby?

Mm, is it good?

You like it?

You see that, baby?

I, uh, I got a phone
call at 10:00 that night

and they told me she went into
labor, uh, at her sister's house,

who also is, uh,
cr... smokes crack.

And they got in the ambulance
and went to the hospital.

Mm-mm. That's good for my baby.

When I got there, they didn't allow
me to be able to see my son born,

because Nani decided to bring
paraphernalia, uh, with her to the hospital

when she was deliverin' Darnez.

Oh, what you need?

So, um, bring 'em... bring 'em wooden chairs,
so we can all sit around and chill out.

Basically, I got no information.

They wouldn't tell
me how he was.

I was worried about whether he... whether
or not he's gonna have withdrawal,

what were his symptoms,
what's going on.

It was a horrible
fuckin' experience.

Basically, they told me I was
guilty by association, uh,

which is a bunch of shit, but
I just took custody of him.

I mean, I got through it. I
went back and forth to court.

Uh, went and talked
to the psychiatrist.

Uh, they had these services here,
someone to come here five days a week,

but once I got custody of
him, I felt a lot better.

I... I felt as though
I... I... I won.

Where is my baby?
Is he sleepin'?

You're not sleepin'.

Hello, baba.

And here is the baby.

Mm-hmm.

- And now he got daddy. Right?
- What?

- There is that little baby.
- Whoa!

Once I got custody of Darnez,
for her to be able to see him,

she had to be in therapy and a drug
rehabilitation program, and she was not.

If she wants help, would I be willin'
to help her if she came to me and said,

"Help me, put me into a program. I'm
gonna do this." Yes, I would help her.

But her actions speak way
louder than her words.

So, uh, my focus is, you know,
I got my baby, and I'm happy,

and I always have my babies.

And see

my sons and my children are the reason
why I'm still standin' here right now.

The reason I'm the man I am today, because
I've always told them to stick close,

stick together, and I
guess that's what we are.

The Gantt family, uh, is a
family that sticks together.

Darnez is a daddy's boy.

He likes sweet potatoes
and him like him toys.

A boom, boom, boom.

A boom, boom, boom.

Darnez is a daddy boy.

He likes sweet potatoes
and him like him toys.

Are you daddy's baby? What?

What? What? That's
his new thing.

That's his new thing.

What you doin' that for?

One, two, three, four,
five, six, seven, eight.

Come on!

That's my grand-baby,
right there.

- Eye.
- An ear.

- Eye.
- This is eyes.

- This your eye.
- Eye... eye.

You got a little
button nose. Eye.

- Eye.
- -Yeah, that's eye.

- Eye.
- And that's ear.

Eye.

I was gonna get him a job but people are like
they already know my situation with my dad,

so they're like, "Well, he
gotta get himself together."

Want some?

I... I can't eat
this, it's plastic.

But I go and visit him like
every couple other days.

Or if I don't hear from him for like
two months, I'll go look for him.

Because he'll disappear.

Where you goin'?

This was in 2012. After
a while he just fell off.

Well, why don't you just call the
dude? Give... tell him I want a job.

Dicky, I want the job.

Dad, you gotta wait until... I'm gonna wait
until you're done, whatever you're doing.

- Alright.
- Wait a few days for it and then...

Alright.

- If you're serious...
- -by 30 days.

Yeah, if you're done by 30 days.

If I'm clean in 30 days,
you get me the job.

- Yup, I sure will.
- Alright, alright, thinking on it.

I got a green book home about the Prophet
Muhammad Rasulullah Sallallahu Sallam.

It tells you about
socie... social order.

And it tells you just right here.
That's not a part of our society.

- You started goin' a little crazy after Naeem's death.
- Stickin' to it.

Yeah, I remember all the stuff.

- Yeah, remember all of the stuff.
- See, but all y'all said

- I was crazy.
- No, I...

- But the whole thing is...
- You never was crazy.

It took me seven years to
get over Naeem's death.

- No, actually not about Naeem.
- You talkin' nothin'.

No, I'm not talkin' nothin'.

You need to get help.
Go get you help.

Go get you help and become to a part of society,
that you can be a productive part of society.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- This is what the deal is.

This is what you don't understand and
I'm tryin' to tellin' you all this here.

Your story could
help the next person.

- It is goin' to help the whole community.
- This isn't... but it's not,

because what you're doin', you
got too much negativity in you.

- Go on now.
- That's what you forward to streets of Camden now,

all this negative stuff.
Go with this junk.

This is my third generation
right here and...

That's first... uh, look,
there's first, second,

- and third generation from Raymond fuckin' Koonce.
- That's four generations.

I was a... I was a drug addict
for... from the age of 14,

all the way up until in my 40s.

And you know the bad thing about
is I sold drugs in Camden, North,

all over and the turnaround.

I've breeded another fuckin'
generation of assholes.

I'll wash tonight, pop.

- Well, he...
- That's really fucked up...

You don't give up, because he...
he's gonna turn his life around.

Alright.

This is just our... our habit.

I don't wanna give up on her.
How else can I say it? It sucks.

Sucks to love somebody
that don't love themself.

Baby, put the seat up.

It's like... I... it's hard for
me to focus on what I have to do

'cause I had to completely turn cold
towards Nani to be able to function.

When he gives me what I need,
then I don't need to do anything.

I stay home, and I'm with
the baby, and that's it.

How can you block out the countless
men in cars that you did dates with

- and expect me to not give a fuck about it?
- -Hmm.

What time is the
appointment and what time

1:45, but he has to be bathed
and dressed, we got to go.

Sorry, Leo, we have
to get it started.

- Can we build it?
- Yes!

That's okay, baby.

Because you gotta remember something.
Diapers came there and diapers checked up.

- Do you remember?
- Mm-hmm.

They checked up on the fact
that he gotten his shots,

so, I mean I'm signed, they
don't know who you are.

- I gotta say, "It's a friend of mine."
- Hmm.

"It's my girlfriend. No, it's not his
mom." Well, he looks just like her.

Oh, well.

-. He's good?
- Mm-hmm.

I adore the baby.

Babe, you kissin'
his hands? Yeah?

What? I'm not.

Kissin' his hands, he's
gonna put 'em into his mouth.

She doesn't brush her teeth, she doesn't
wash her mouth, she just lives in the street.

So, I mean, the hygiene
factor, the germs.

It's not she shares someone's stand,
it's all that... all them germs,

and saliva, and things
transfer like that.

She doesn't look at it
like that, but I do.

But then it comes again, but you
want me to be there for the baby

- and be there, but then you talk about this stuff.
- I'm sayin'... so, what

what... what I, but what
I'm saying is, is that

if you don't care about that, then
that's scary, 'cause that's real.

Yeah, we're here for Darnez
Gantt. It's at 1:45, but...

- Here?
- A dental right there and right next to it.

Oh, here?

Yeah, just twistin' it around.

I would go all left,
tryna cool as you move.

Come on, dada, come on. Hi.

- Hey, how you doin'?
- Okay.

We got to see the
doctor. Wait a minute.

Wait a minute. I'm not
leaving you. Wait a minute.

He contradicts himself.

"Well, don't kiss the baby. Don't
there... uh, smokin' on stands."

He doesn't have to
be such an asshole.

He was never like that
before, like so mean.

And he puts me at risk knowing
I can't be around the baby

and then he takes me to the doctor's
knowing damn well I can't do shit like this.

I told him plenty of times
find somebody better than me.

I'm not good for you. I'm poison
for you, but he doesn't listen.

He loves me so much he felt that if
I had a baby I would calm down. Mm.

Didn't go good at all, because I'm still
drug addicted and now I can't even,

you know, be the mama I
really want to be for him.

'Cause I'm sick
of this lifestyle.

I'm sick of it, but
I'm just not ready.

It sounds retarded for me to
say, "I'm sick of this life",

but then I keep doin' it, like,

but I wanna be in my
baby's life, so...

I did a whole bag of
fentanyl and OD'd.

My friend said I turned blue.

And, um, she said right after she hit me,
I was like, "Whoa, this shit is good."

And just passed out.

And he's probably about to
get his shots right now.

Alright.

We're all done.

Alright, alright.

If I die, I die.

I just don't wanna go to hell.

Friday, the methadone
bus comes, right?

- They come...
- Hmm, they sell the bottles there?

Yeah, they sell the bottles
early in the morning.

So maybe we can grab a couple... maybe
we can grab at least like two or three?

And then that way I could just go home with
you and the baby, drink a bottle, and...

- Drink half a bottle and see how it affects you.
- Yeah.

- You're going to go right back to all in my head.
- Yeah.

And we'll try our best not to argue and if
I have a little crack attack or somethin',

- maybe we can...
- Smoke some weed.

You can smoke some
weed and call it a day.

- Um...
- You need to do a detox.

I'm gonna buy you somethin' to
make you, uh, detox your body.

We need that out your system.

But you know I can't stop
smoking crack in one day, baby.

Yeah, you can. Sure, you can.

Can you stop drinkin' liquor?

Home sweet home.

I can work somethin'
out if I have $5.

Like I can't do nothin'
with nothing at all.

Well, you have to
understand somethin'.

- All I...
- We just got you a... baby, we got you a full thing

- of gas.
- Okay, we, you...

- We got you cigarettes.
- Wait, wait, we, you? We, you?

- We got you somethin' to eat, babe.
- You got me?

Like you can't give me $5, so
I can get a bag of dope, babe?

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

So I'm supposed to walk around
with no money in my pocket.

No, keep five for you, you need your beers,
and again, I can get me a bag of dope.

What's a... what's one bag of
dope gonna do for you, honey?

I don't know, baby, but it'll help me
from... preventin' to asking people, babe.

- Uh, you got... is he...
- Were you giving me that whole 10 or were you keeping 5?

I was keeping 5.

Baby, one nick of dope ain't
gonna last me until tomorrow.

So, what are you
gettin' from here?

Well, I'm gonna go make my son his bottle and
then I'm goin' to go see what I can get for $5.

Yeah, let me help you, babe.
I'll bring your bottle.

I'm coming.

I buy her drugs to keep her
from working the streets.

And I say workin' 'em.

She can call it
hustlin', she can,

but basically any chick out here, who's
a drug addict, is trippin' for her drugs.

There's no other way.

Darnez. You want your stuff?

Get your stuff.

You can eat it.

Sleepy.

When he pulls one of
his ears, he's tired.

You know, he's gonna be
quiet, when is it, baba?

That's why his mother knew
that. She did know that much.

You think mommy's not
thinking about my baby.

- I bought crack.
- Yeah.

She said she was goin' try to
get dope, but she really lied.

She wanted that five, so her buddy
would give her money for some crack.

- So she don't...
- Bye, baby.

- She don't care. She don't care about...
- I need some dope.

He said, "Me too."

So bein' around her baby don't mean
anything. All she cares about is crack.

This is what I'm talkin' about.

I thought that she would
actually kick in with the baby.

I... I thought she, um...

I thought she would
actually, um...

I thought she would do
somethin' different.

He wants me to go home? Buys me a carton
of cigarettes with his credit card.

I'll go sell them
at the store at $60,

get all the dope I
need and go home.

Well, at least you
got your crack.

See you later, deuces.
Say goodbye to your son.

My baby.

What are, um, you gonna do?
You're just gonna go home and...

What's the matter with you?

Hello?

$5. Like come on now?

How much money
have you given me?

You share with dumb niggas and then you
all your money you work the streets with,

you share with everybody else, and
you fuckin', and suckin' the niggas.

And all you do is take
from me and from your baby.

- This is...
- So you can suck that glass dick

- and go suck some real dick for more money.
- So this is...

Get the fuck away from me, Nani!

- Oh, my God!
- Before I spit on you.

- This is what I was talkin' about.
- You dirty bitch!

- Fuck away from me.
- See this is what I'm talkin' about.

- What the...
- Why you gotta talk to me like this for?

'Cause you're a dirty bitch!
Get the fuck away from me!

You nasty motherfucker!
You dirty bitch!

You stink!

You smell!

Fuckin' asshole.

Fuck you!

You leave your baby in a car, so you can go
sell your ass and smoke crack, you dirty bitch!

I hate you.

Sometimes I, uh, I feel amazed.

I ain't lucky, ain't nothin'... ain't
no... ain't no such thing as luck.

But sometimes I wake
up and like damn.

And these, like, people ain't
do half the shit I done did.

Like him right here
Rondell Arnett. Shame.

I the one who... who killed him.

Me and Nikki know the lady
who was goin' with him.

His son is doin' time right
now, but I know who killed him.

I know him, too, but he ain't
dead, he just got his tombstone.

And my brother got murdered.

Like I was like, "Why the
fuck it ain't happen to me?"

Like he didn't deserve it,
he was fresh off the porch.

I beg that shit to happen to me.

I like... like you
ever wish death?

I wished for death when that
happened to my brother, man.

I swear to God, I wanted it to
be me, and he can come back,

'cause I... I've never seen my father
like that cry, I never seen my mother...

Like it fucked everybody's
life up, includin' mine.

Includin' mine. It took
me 14 years to cry.

I never got out of this one.

Some days I'll be like,
"I wish I ain't wake up."

Someday I've touched that fuckin'
heroin and it went down with dope.

That shit went down here.

And it's fucked up.

That's why I just wanna
get the fuck out of here,

so I ain't gotta even think about
it, but now it's everywhere.

I lived in Oklahoma,
shit was there.

I lived in Boca Raton,
Florida, shit was there.

I lived in fuckin' Texas,
the shit was there.

Everywhere I've been,
the shit was there.

From rural to city, the
shit's always around.

You goin'... if it's not there, you can
make a phone call and it can be there.

Everybody dealin' with is
doin' somethin' negative.

That pulls me back
into this shit, man.

And right now I need stop... I
need time away from this shit.

A long vacation.

He doesn't even know that we're
sitting here and talking, you know,

whatever he thinks that I'm like,
you know, suckin' dick and shit.

I mean, what the fuck?

I got nothin', no drugs,
nobody, no crack, no nothin'.

They... he's now believing
I'm paid all fuckin' day.

And what the fuck
do I got? Shit.

I need some fuckin'
crack. I need some dope.

- Iman and Daryl, what are we gonna do with them?
- Oh, man.

What are they gonna do with us?

What... what can we do? I
don't know, I'm confused.

I think my man is right.

I choose this shit over being with
my beautiful bouncing baby boy.

Really? Like what's wrong with
me? I need my head examined.

It's what time right now?

Now you're sittin' there puttin' on
make-up, gettin' ready to go hit the street.

It ain't normal, you know?

This ain't normal
for fuckin' sure.

24/7 chasin'.

I did this to myself.
I've fucked myself over.

I know that is just how now
can I, you know, get better

and keep... stay better
and you know what I mean?

Because I... when
I have my kids,

I have beaut... beautiful,
beautiful kids and they're perfect.

It's just... like,
it's just hard.

Like when it comes down to it, it's either
have someone that you can trust and rely on...

And somebody who's
really there for you.

Anybody who cares. There's a lot of
people all this time that says, you know,

"You ain't got no friends in this
life and when it comes down to..."

What the fuck is the problem?

I'm lookin' for the, ah...
other one that's like that.

Oh, I didn't find that.
I didn't see that.

But, um, it... it really is good
to have, um, you know what I mean?

A real... like a real friend, somebody
you really can depend on, no matter what.

And... it's... it's just hard
when you're by yourself, you know?

It's really hard when you're by
yourself. It... it really is.

My own main goal of everything
is try to get into the rehab.

Hopefully, both of us
can go into the rehab,

and have it successful, and come
out, and live a different life.

I am just another
fucker out here.

I'd rather be home with my baby and with
my man right now. Fuck everything else.

Just say I put 5 grams of
fentanyl in 10 grams of dope,

it'd make the dope
five-times stronger.

So it will sell faster.

So when you just go do a straight
heroin, it doesn't work for you,

it doesn't get you over
heat, none of that shit.

You still reset. You're goin' through
a withdrawal to withdrawal, man.

And that shit is serious.

Yes, I was thinkin' about calling at
1-800-NJ-REACH to get a bed number

and gettin' to rehab.

You have dialed Joe's Equipment.

Oh, this is not 1-800-NJ-REACH?

- It is not.
- Alright, thank you.

1-8-8-8-N-J.

Call has been forwarded to
an automatic voice mess...

R-E-A.

Thank you for calling.

We would like your opinion in
a quick three-question survey.

Alright, what's that shit?

Welcome to America's
hottest talk line.

What the fuck.

Thank you for calling Reach NJ.

This is Moche speaking.
How may I help you?

Yes, I'm tryin' to look for a... a
rehab, uh, for my addiction for heroin.

- Guess what?
- -What?

I just got in
detox for tomorrow.

Y'all need to call.
You can get in, Nik.

They're... they're gettin'
high. They're fuckin' sick.

So, when do you wanna call, Nik?

I don't know, I'm... I'm not going
somewhere where they give me Suboxone.

'Cause I'm coming off
fentanyl, I'm fucked up.

Yeah, I told Bergen Regional
that I did fentanyl.

Is there any antidote?

And he had shit for it.

See, but Bergen Regional
gives out methadone.

- Did you ask them?
- Yeah, they got... They told me.

Yeah, what the fuck.

- Hello.
- Salaam alaikum, Pop.

Walaikum assalam.

What's up with you?

No, I'm not sleepin' until I can
go in and see you about this job.

Oh, no, 'cause you know, I just got
into a... a... a d... a de... a rehab.

Tomorrow I gotta go, be there.

Yeah, well, this is a hard
decision right here right now

that you ain't gonna decide
to walk out of there.

No, I'm stayin' there, pop.

I'm glad that you're doin'
that, but I'm sayin' you...

I ain't helping you till
you get out of there.

And then you gonna like talk to me
that you gonna do the right things.

- Uh.
- Doin' things just right here.

- I don't need... I just need your support.
- I did shit for... I... no.

No. I did shit to help you
before and you fucked it.

I said all I need is
your support, dad.

No, listen to what I'm sayin' to you before
you make a comment and you fucked me.

It is time for you to
get your shit together.

I'm tired of bein' dad, and grandma,
and grandpa, and great-grandpa.

And you should be doin'
that to all of them.

I hope that's why
you're doin' it.

That's the only reason.

If not, then go.

So, you're only gonna
start over again?

It's... it's wasted effort.

- Alright.
- Alright?

That stupid dammit dope shit,
you can't be a part of it.

You will be a recovered drug addict for
the rest of your life, just like I am.

Why do you think I stay
away from everybody?

- Yeah.
- So I awake no triggers.

You oughta stay away from
all them fuckin' people.

- Separate myself.
- All of 'em.

Yeah, you're right. Yeah,
I already know that.

Alright, dear.

And I hope you ain't talkin' no
bullshit, and you're for real.

- Alright, I love you, pop.
- You can do no wrong.

- As-salamu alaykum.
- Walaikum assalam.

I really don't wanna
come back here.

Honestly, I really don't.

I don't wanna make
that mistake this time.

February 3rd.

So it happens to be my birthday.

Forty-eight years old, homie.

Oh, when someone really
asks me, I'll say I'm 38.

Take 10 years off.

Here comes this baby.

He wants his sister.

- That was bad of you, hmm.
- Stop bein' mean to everybody and be a nice boy.

No, he's not.

- I'mma put your show on.
- Get out of here.

Oh, very nice.

He misses his mom. It's
obvious, we... we can tell.

What? Hello, baby.

You gotta stop it.

But, I'm done with her.

I can't deal with her.
I can't do it no more.

What she is right
now, is a zombie.

A pus-filled little
fuckin' vile of bullshit.

And garbage. So, who
needs it? I don't need it.

But I didn't spend nine-something
years with her ass not to let her go.

I'm in love with her, I'm not gonna
let her die. I won't let her die.

She was eating this.

Hey, get him... get him...
get him out of here.

- Here, Cee Cee, just...
- I think he's done.

Get him out of here now.

- Lonnie boy! Uh-oh.
- Hey, here you go.

Yeah, it's the
Lonnie boy! My son!

- Well, honey, I don't wanna be seen.
- Woo!

- Alright, hey, why he doin' that?
- Stop, pop.

My dad abandoned
me and my children.

My father has never met
none of his grandchildren.

My mother raised me to
be the man I am now.

♪ Ready or not Here I come ♪

♪ You can't hide
We gonna find you ♪

- ♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪
- ♪ And take it slowly ♪

If I listened to my
mother, I'd be a lawyer.

Of course, I've never.
But I listened to my mama.

Certain things.

If I didn't have
her, I'd be a nobody.

Hmm, I'm not... nobody
without my mama.

♪ And four fathers Sittin'
niggas They can stop now, yeah ♪

♪ Who's popular now? ♪

Gangsta.
-♪ Having a motherfucking Drop top ♪

♪ And we go cruisin' And
then we hop back ♪ Gangsta.

♪ The motherfucking drop ♪

My kids all come back to me.

Mm, that's what they're
goin' to do. Daddy.

♪ D, Public Enemy Number One ♪

♪ Five-O said, "Freeze!"
And I then got numb ♪

♪ Can I tell them that I
Never really had a gun ♪

♪ That was the Terminator X ♪

♪ Can I tell them that I
Never really had a gun ♪

♪ That was the Terminator X ♪

And make none, I'm not sure
how that goes. Like right out.

♪ Oh, ghetto ♪

- Have your son, man.
- I'm drinkin'.

He'd be alright.

Put him down. Good
luck with that.

- Hey, he don't want to get down. -I know.
- Oh, well, he's your brother.

♪ MRG ♪

♪ Have bumped into me ♪

Woo!

Surprise, surprise, nigga.

You think I was coming
like that, now did you?

- Where's my bottle, man?
- -No drink.

While all of a sudden
touch my bottle?

Right there, the
Seagram's. It's too much.

But absolutely, I don't know it's
for real. You gettin' fancy now? Huh.

Okay, now I'm gettin' angry.

- What do you need?
- Yo, where's my fuckin' bottle from my fuckin' table?

- It's in the cabinet, daddy, I hide...
- Who touched it?

- I hid it for you! It's in...
- Touched my shit!

- In the cabinet, your...
- Don't touch it!

- I hid it for you!
- Forgot it!

Who took my bottle?
It's my birthday.

I do the fuck I wanna do.

- Alright.
- She ain't buy nothin' for me?

Just had a birthday, but I
don't... I don't see a card.

Everyone lives off
me. N... n... no one.

- Here, dad, you got some money we made.
- I put it away for you...

- Someone has that money we made.
- So nobody drank it, honestly.

- It's all good though, I ain't worried about it.
- What?

- I didn't drink no more booze than you see me take.
- Music!

What do you wanna listen to?

- Put my song on.
- Funeral?

Yeah, this is my...
this is my best.

♪ When it's my time ♪

♪ I know you'll tailor
A new suit for me ♪

♪ And buy a new tie So
I'll look this good ♪

♪ Boy, you were right ♪

♪ You said only the
good ones Die young ♪

♪ Never in my life
Did I look this good ♪

♪ Everyone welcome
To my funeral ♪

- ♪ Everyone I know ♪
- Dancin'!

♪ Better be wasted You
know I would pour one up ♪

Hey, dancin' boy. ♪ 'Cause the
way I lived It was amazing ♪

♪ Ooh ♪ ♪ Everyone
welcome To my funeral ♪

- Come on, baby.
- ♪ Everyone I know ♪

I got the best of
Nani in Darnez.

Smile, eyes.

Forehead, everything is Nani.

She's a tortured soul.

I'd tried my best to pull her
out of it and show her love.

Love didn't work. I gave up.

♪ Welcome to my funeral ♪
♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪

♪ Party for me, I'd party, too ♪

Like, I... I... I learned singing from my
dad, you know, I got a little somethin'.

This country is destroyin' me like
a slow death forcing me to retire.

And, unfortunately, for your politics, I
only feel inspired to set this shit on fire.

When the bodies of black children
were lying dead on your streets,

like rotting fruit dangling
from Southern trees,

raw footage of a lynch
mob dressed like police,

and the crisis that I'm fuckin'
talkin' about is at your feet.

Man, we out here gettin'
our modern-day slave on.

If you ain't got your papers,
your ass better stay home.

World is bombin', huntin'
niggas down all day long.

So don't talk to
me about democracy

or categorically digress
my stress metaphorically.

Instead of writing speeches
about the way it's goin' to be,

I dare you to prove
me wrong historically.

But whenever I look around, I
feel entitled to burn it down,

because all I see is the
blood of my ancestors.

But in case you're reading this,

just know that I exist in the
shadows of your political masquerade.

Sincerely, evolution, made in
Camden, murder capital, U.S.A.

I can't go in there
already withdrawing.

'Cause you know, I don't get no
meds for you know how many hours?

Okay, this is it.
This is the spot.

- Alright, come on in the kitchen.
- What?

- In the kitchen.
- What?

Man, I gotta pee.

- Pee in that bucket y'all.
- What?

- In that bucket.
- What bucket?

I'm pissin' in a fuckin' bucket.

- Yeah, that's the piss bucket.
- Y'all fuckin' crazy.

Should light a bonfire
in this motherfucker.

I gotta do this, man. Got
too much shit at stake.

Grandkids, kids.

I'm tired of this shit.

Plus, Tye, you
know this ain't me.

Right, this ain't
either one of us.

You know you gotta go into
detox with a hot urine, so.

I'm gonna make sure hot fucking.

- I'm gonna give them the hottest urine I can.
- Mm-hmm.

Yeah, I had to get my work on.

That's the guy I
work for right there.

- Behind you?
- Nah, in the work van.

Sign it?

- Yeah, um...
- All way over, right?

Yeah, you see your name and just
follow it all the way over to, um...

- Mm.
- The last right column if I'm correct.

It's the reci... recipient
sig... signature, right?

- Excuse me?
- Recipient signature.

- Correct. I think that's it.
- Alright, here you go, boss. Here.

My man.

- I'm in double path for it. I'm usin' and sellin'.
- Hmm.

- But I don't need even ask for the smack.
- Right.

But I sell them both things, we're...
all everything, I sell everything, but...

You gotta get started, man. Here
you are. Like leavin' everything.

But I bet somebody don't want you to
go, because you was either their friend,

family or... or somethin' like that,
like you was the hangin' partner.

- Like, "Yo, man."
- A lot of people.

- Yeah! But you like, you know, "I gotta do me."
- Yeah.

You know, that's
beautiful, man, for real.

Bro, you know, when you just picked me up,
between me and you, that was my trap house.

Oh, for real?

Oh, wow! Wow. Wow!

What a... you left
a trap, man, that...

That's dedication, buddy!

- Yo, you for real?
- I'm dead serious.

Hey, man, pound up on that, bro.

That's hard to do, leave a
good thing. Let's be honest,

it's hard to leave a good thing.

I'mma be prayin' with you, man.

- Iman, when's the last time you used?
- -Last night.

Now, and how many
bags did you do?

Two bags of heroin
and a bag of fentanyl.

You know what? If you had done a
bag of fentanyl, you'd be dead.

So I just put it
down as an opiate.

Well, you better put
four bags down then.

Alright, doesn't matter.

Just have a seat and
fill that out, okay?

Under "last bag" you
better put more than that.

When did we ever hear that Nik
would say she's ready to go?

When did we ever
hear her say it?

She must love me after all.

- Hey, Nani, how are you?
- How you doin'?

- How you doin'?
- Alright.

Yeah, you doin' okay?

A little somewhat, yeah, mm-hmm.

What's the best way
to help you, um...

I was thinking, um, more
of so like do a detox

and then maybe start like
an outpatient program.

- Right, so just...
- Maybe like... I just... I just wanted to get off the heroin.

Like my main goal is to
just get off with the dope.

I'm sick of bein' sick every
six hours, every five hours.

- Yeah, I hear you.
- Like if there was somethin' to detox me off the heroin

maybe like just even be on
a low dosage of methadone.

- And then what can we...
- Uh, ex... excuse me.

- Hi, Brenda.
- - Hey, Daryl.

Why don't you come on
down and come talk to us?

- I would much rather just talk on the phone.
- Oh, oh.

Well, by... by... by
all means, come on down.

- Okay. We will come down, no problem. Okay.
- Alright. Alright. Bye-bye.

- Bye.
- If I'm doin' what I have to do for the baby

while she's getting
herself treatment,

it's... it's much different
than her being in Camden,

running streets, hanging
with a bunch of derelicts.

She needs some type of therapy
on top of drug rehabilitation

to find herself, to forgive
herself or let something go,

so that she could be normal.

I thought I'm a single
dad and... and I'm not,

so we gotta get rid of the affliction,
so she can be a mom and a wife.

Well, it's not up to
me. She has to do it.

I'm hopeful, but based on our history,
yeah, I can't be excited about it.

Oh, God, oh, it's so different.

I can't stand
sniffing this shit.

It doesn't... it doesn't hit
me right. It's like a waste.

- I'm gonna miss you.
- I love you.

- Alright.
- Alright, I'm leaving, so.

You know, see that shit?

Look at that shit, that's all
from the fentanyl, you know?

That's why when I come out, I'm not
touching that shit ever again, man.

I just wanna get back
to normal, you know?

Look normal, look
like my normal self.

Darnez, look, mommy...
look, what mommy got?

Come on.

No.

Get up!

Oh, God!

There's tuna fish.

D... Darnez, give... Give me.

Stop it! Stop it. Stop!

Stop!

Stop! Mm.

- Mm. Good.
- Good?

- Hi, Brenda.
- -Hey, how are you?

- So how are you? Come on in.
- Daryl, how are you doin'? Nice to meet you.

- Pleased to meet you. How's it goin'?
- Good to meet you.

- Um, pretty good.
- Baby, why don't you wait a second.

She says she's gonna check-in
to hospital and do detox.

I said we have to get to why.

- See if she ever told truth to somebody...
- Yeah, yeah.

She'll tell you how her... her
dad died with a needle in his arm.

And I'm like, "Why would you wanna do
somethin' like that?" That's a morbid thought.

- Thanks, babe.
- Mm-hmm.

I... I wanna keep it as simple as possible
with it, not so overwhelming, right.

You just came back and you... you wanna
get on track, you know what I mean?

And what does that
look like for you?

And I... and so I just share with you personally
that, you know, that when I imploded, um,

it was a deep issue, and you
know, I... you... you know,

married to my same husband for
a lot... a whole lot of years,

but we went through a whole
lot of stuff together.

So I'd like to help
you where you are.

You got a family, you've
got so much to offer.

You've still got your whole life in
front of you, you know what I mean?

I wa... I was
hurtin' here, right?

So I will put that Band-Aid
on... right, I was a Band-Aider.

I would be that
fake bullshit smile.

- Mm-hmm.
- Right? And I'm gonna stick a Band-Aid

and I'm gonna keep running. I could be
in so much pain on the inside, right?

But I wouldn't let
anybody know that, right?

And then you pick the scab and
you're bleedin' again, right?

What's gonna stop it, right?

9Maybe I'll go over here
and this will stop it.

Maybe I'll go over there
and that'll stop it.

Now, I don't know how I got
stuck, but once I was stuck,

all bets are off and
nothin' mattered to me.

So I get the reality, right?

But the bottom line was I
just wasn't ready, right?

I know this is hard, I know.

'Cause we want it so
much to help, right?

But I... I'm framin' it just lookin'
at the people that I know loved me

when I was sittin' right
there and thinkin' exactly

- feelin' exactly like you feel right now.
- Mm-hmm.

So I'm just saying...
here's the thing.

You got nothin'... you
had nothin' to lose

and everything to gain
one day at a time, right?

It's gonna be... it's gonna be
rough at some points, right?

- But...
- Mm-hmm.

You know? And you don't
gotta, you know...

I mean, listen, if I... if I
thought I could get you out of here

- and take you far away, um...
- Hmm.

I... I... I'm not... not gonna
lie to you, I would do that,

because, uh, I know that people, places,
and things sometimes are triggers...

- Yeah.
- Um, being close enough to... to... to the turf is

is not helpful. It was... it was challenging
for me. I did relapse and some...

You know, I graduated, though.

I'm goin' home. I'm
gonna start a new regime.

Like the trap is gonna change.

Put it like this, in three months,
I can have a quarter of $1,000,000.

Get that shit away from me. I kicked
that shit. I don't even want it.

I went away. That shit I ain't...
I don't need that shit no more.

Don't get to tell me.

Glad to bring my boy back.

It's easy to say, "Yeah, I did this,"
it's easy to say, "Yeah, I did that."

Hard part is changin'.

My mind is like... like in a different
zone, like, you know what I'm sayin'?

But I call the boat
tonight and we out of here.

We... if we don't
do this, man...

- I'll run... I come over here running for you.
- Iman come running today.

- Well, what? You're not cool?
- If we're not... I wanna cope, I wanna hard, nigga.

- When you wanna do it?
- Well, I'mma call you tonight.

I'mma start... go home get... get your shit
dressed, man. I gotta put my shit together.

Yeah, yeah, that's
what you're gonna do.

8:00, it's goin' down.

I'mma keep goin'. And
this time I mean it.

I don't give a
fuck who in my way.

If I don't make it, I'm
gonna die this year.

Here comes the "Nani Dance." She's
getting... she's getting close to home.

You know, you have a beacon?

Back to your home planet,
and you start coming alive?

- Yeah.
- -No.

It's the demons and we're
coming into the realm.

So now she's starting
to transform.

- Isn't that right, Nan?
- Baby, I'm in withdrawal at the moment.

Let's throw a light.
It's close to midnight.

♪ Thriller ♪

Transforming. Who're you
gonna call? Ghost Busters?

- And a 10.
- Mm-hmm.

- Huh?
- Yeah, baby.

Alright. Make it work.

Give me 5 more, so I can get
at least two to do in the car.

I would like to get some dinner.

- Just 5 more, baby, please.
- For what?

- Here.
- Thanks.

What's up, son?

I mean, go... go outside and
see if there are other houses

or somebody could
hit a transformer.

Well, you go, and look,
and see at the neigh

go to the next-door neighbor, you look and
say you... we're havin' a power outage.

That happens.

That... son, they don't... they don't do not
know, uh... there is a date on the thing...

So they... they don't... they don't come
out and... and... and... on a Sunday...

Saturday afternoon and
do anything like that.

Alright, alright, son.
Alright, son. Alright, later.

I told her to get much that was
gonna keep her from bein' sick.

I say get more what you need, so then you
can ration yourself, so because they're next.

But she can do... she can do...

I'm good, bro.

I'm good. I don't need it.

I said I don't need it.

- You put everything sec... uh...
- Yeah.

- Everything secure? Okay.
- Everything secure, yes.

Holy shit.

The fuckin' town is black.

This is nuts.

The end of the world.

- How many you takin'?
- I want at least, you know, put a couple of those.

I'm not... I'm not... I'm not... I'm
gettin'... we got a flashlight now.

Okay, great.

- Thank you, man.
- Mm-hmm.

I'm gonna close the
from the dark, man.

The demons are following me!

I don't wanna be on heroin
anymore. Like I'm done.

I want to detox and
then get my mind right.

Yeah, I'm gonna be alive for
that little boy, you know?

He needs me.

- You love me?
- Mm-hmm.

- Since when?
- Nine years ago.

7:00 and we are supposed
to be heading up to Paramus

to take Nani to detox,

but because Nani is not here,
Nani is in the streets of Camden,

I have to make other
arrangements for the baby.

So, everything what we
planned and hoped for.

She's showin' that it's not
her intentions whatsoever.

Now, I have to turn
a running lead.

I did get my hopes up, I
should have known better.

So, that dream is over.

I just want to move on.

And I am. I am movin' on.

Gonna look back one day and say,
"This is when dad took me to Omaha."

Two thousand feet, we're
currently in Omaha.

They have light
winds out on the east

just a few scattered clouds
and seventy-five degrees...

To me it was survival,
it was all or nothing.

I came to a realization I
can't change anybody else.

I had to wanna do
somethin' different.

And so I left. Left everything.

Nani decided that she
wasn't ready to change

and wasn't gonna give
up her... her addiction.

My self-sacrifice for somebody
else only tore me down, so no.

No, brother, I will not
miss that shit at all.

I'm... I'm glad that
part of my life is over.

Yeah, shoe, baby. You, shoe,
baby. Oh, you walkin' nice.

You got daddy's shoes on.

Everything I've tried to do to find,
um, peace and help did not work.

I realized that I
was losin' myself.

I hope that one day that she comes to the
realization that her past is a deadly one.

It is a happy ending.

Not a storybook ending,
but the happy ending.

He didn't choose
his mother, I did.

Oh.

I do believe that Darnez, uh, not
seeing his mother has an effect on him.

He did bond with her. That was
something that I tried to accomplish

with the hope that he
can touch her heart.

I'll explain to him that she had a... a serious
disease of addiction and it consumed her.

He never had the
love of his mama.

How can he miss it?

♪ Maybe one day you'll
wipe The dust off my face ♪

♪ And see me again ♪

♪ Give me that dazed
look That I love ♪

♪ And make me remember when ♪

The A-Team.

- Ace boon coon.
- Yeah.

♪ We were together
With such joy ♪

♪ Exuding from us
Like a fountain ♪

♪ Spilling between us
At such a great pace ♪

♪ Like melting snow
On a mountain ♪

♪ Now I have to sing something
Louder than I have before ♪

♪ So I can escape This
overwhelming pain ♪

♪ And never hurt no more ♪

♪ The seasons are
changing And supposedly ♪

♪ I have to as well ♪

♪ My heart is pacing
And I have to break ♪

♪ Free from your spell ♪

♪ Now I have to sing something
Louder than I have before ♪

♪ So I can escape This
overwhelming pain ♪

♪ And never hurt no more ♪

♪ Oh ♪

♪ Ah ♪

♪ I was lifted above ground
Now I have been placed ♪

♪ Back down below ♪

♪ But love has that
power To make you fly ♪

♪ When you've been
feeling So low ♪

♪ Now I have to sing something
Louder than I have before ♪

♪ So I can escape This
overwhelming pain ♪

♪ And never hurt no more ♪

♪ Now I have to sing something
Louder than I have before ♪

♪ So I can escape This
overwhelming pain ♪

♪ And never hurt no more ♪

♪ Oh ♪

♪ Ha ♪

♪ Please speak sweet to me ♪

♪ Oh, somber hearted
Let no grief ♪

♪ Destroy the time
We have to be ♪

♪ Close quiet and free ♪

♪ Please speak sweet to me ♪

♪ Oh, somber hearted
Let no grief ♪

♪ Destroy the time
We have to be ♪

♪ Close quiet and free ♪