High Season (1987) - full transcript
Its summer time on a gorgeous Greek island, which means it is tourist season. Although local photographer Katherine dislikes the onslaught of the seasonal visitor invasion of her peaceful home, this year she has much greater issues. For starters she is broke; her best friend and confidant, a British art expert, may very well be a Russian spy; her ex-husband is a philandering playboy; and the timid English tourist Branagh on his second honeymoon is actually pursing her.
[Dog barks]
Whoa.
[In Greek]
[In Greek]
[Sings in Greek]
[Birds chirp]
[Donkey brays]
[Birds sing]
[Bell tolls]
[Rooster crows]
[Donkey brays]
[In Greek]
[In Greek]
[Soula responds in Greek]
[Sighs]
[In Greek]
[In English]
End of an era.
No more feta cheese
in your shop.
[In English]
I believe
in progress.
You believe in
preservation.
Jumbos!
With the new airport, I
can make a lot of money.
Then, maybe this
place will look
as nice to me as
it does to you.
I hope you make
a lot of money.
[Woman speaking]
[In Greek]
[Crying]
[In Greek]
Yanni.
[Penelope speaking]
[Sighs]
[In English]
A monument.
[Birds sing]
[Rooster crows]
[Katherine in Greek]
[Donkey brays]
[In English]
What's wrong, mama?
[In English]
Money.
It's always money.
Your book!
Oh, it's beautiful!
I don't care if it's
been in your museum
for 100 years.
That little torso
can't be 5th-century.
Look at his pectorals.
Pectorals like
that are a typically
4th-century development.
Is the car here?
If you think my
article is scathing,
come along to one
of my lectures.
Goodbye, Edward.
Myles has got flu.
Roberton's got flu.
Even spender's caved in.
Which makes
you, Mr. Lamb,
the lucky winner of
the office raffle.
Rhodes!
The colossus
of rhodes?
One of the
wonders of
the world?
Well, that's where
you're going.
A lovely little
village called lindos.
Charter flight,
confirmed reservation
at hotel Poseidon,
Mr. and Mrs. Lamb.
Is that clear?
Yes, sir, very
good, sir.
What am I
going to do, sir?
Do as you're told.
We may have a little
item we want to export
to Turkey, lamb.
Till then,
just lie
in the sun
and wait for
instructions.
Okay? Yes, sir.
By the way, it
says in your file
that you know something
about guns. Is that correct?
You do know which end
the bullet comes out of?
Oh, yes. Yes, sir.
Oh, what should I
tell my wife, sir?
Come on, lamb!
Tell her it's a
2nd honeymoon!
Ah!
Watch it!
[Sighs heavily]
Don't know what
the score is?
England never
plays so well away.
Makes no difference when the
whole of england's on holiday.
No wonder the
economy's a mess.
Aren't you on
holiday, then?
Enjoy it, mate.
It only comes
once a year.
Mr. Lamb,
I am very sorry.
No rooms.
No rooms?
What do you
mean, no rooms?
We've got a bloody
booking, haven't we?
Booking, yes,
rooms, no.
[Benny]
Here we are.
All right? Hello, Mick.
There you are,
all right?
Benny, pleased
to meet you.
Benny, all right.
Anybody want
any suntan oil
rubbing in, eh?
[Donkey brays]
I wish you still
sold feta cheese.
And olive oil. Thank you.
If your mother
signs these, I can
raise the price.
Ban the bomb!
Ban the bomb! Ban the bomb!
Hold on.
Chloe!
Sharpie!
Chloe, I can't
pick them
up, help me!
Hey, June,
check this out!
A single-breasted bikini!
Beauty!
This is a
mistake.
That's great, yanni.
I'll buy that!
Is it half price?
We'll take 6.
6 singles!
With studs.
We want studs!
Studs?
Green, blue...
Of course, along the edge. Yeah!
[Toilet flushes]
Aristotle:
Good.
Katherine:
No!
No!
No! No!
Aristotle!
15 years, you've
been trying
to fix this
and it wouldn't
drown a flea!
Niagara!
Niagara Falls!
Whoosh!
Whoosh!
Mummy, I've got a
surprise for you.
What? What is it?
Come and look.
Oh, sharpie. Yes.
How wonderful
to see you.
Oh!
Oh, wonderful
to see you.
Sharpie?
Hmm? Oh, Chloe.
What a paradise!
[Sighs]
I think I could
sit here forever.
I think mummy's
upset about something.
Really?
Yes, she's always
fussing around the house.
She worries about
money and stuff.
She cries at sunset.
Cries at sunset?
Do you know that
I still don't know
what school
I'm going to go
to next year?
I wish I knew what
was going to happen.
Oh, my dear,
thinking about
the future is
a modern vice.
Opisthiawas a much
healthier attitude.
What's opisthia?
Well,
imagine that life's a road,
or rather,
suppose it's a river
and we're all rowing
along in our little boats
with our backs to
where we're going.
Then, what we're looking at,
what's stretching
in front of US,
is the past, isn't it?
The future's
always behind US.
That's what
opisthiais about.
So you mean, like standing
backwards on an escalator.
[Laughs]
Yes.
How's your
father doing?
He's fine.
Are they on speaking
terms at the moment?
Of course not.
They're still
quarrelling
about art.
This time,
it's about a statue
he's making for yanni.
I think you
should marry mummy.
You're the only man
she doesn't quarrel with.
Chloe, can you go and
get the coffee, please?
Sharp:
Oh, there you are.
Mummy, you're
always interrupting.
Sharp:
Thank you.
You look stunning. Oh.
[Sighs]
Do you remember the pot?
Hmm.
You gave it to
me years ago.
It's rather
charming,
isn't it?
I'd forgotten.
Sharpie,
I know that one
is not supposed
to sell presents,
but would you mind
very much if I did?
Of course not,
it's yours.
But I don't
think you'll get
very much for it.
Well...
There's a New York dealer
who thinks it might
be worth quite a lot.
I doubt that.
I'm broke, sharpie.
I think I'm going to
have to sell the house.
Sell the house?
That serious?
Yup.
And I can't bear
to tell Chloe.
It's our last summer here.
Katherine,
what's happened?
Oh, you know,
too many debts.
My train de vie,
I suppose.
And my book
isn't selling.
The light of Greece? Mm-hmm.
But it's a big success.
It's in every
bookshop!
Exactly. No
one's buying it.
I can't believe you told
me this is a 2nd honeymoon
and we haven't even
got a place to stay! Ow!
I said it's not my
fault, Carol. It's
only till tomorrow.
We'll find a room tomorrow!
Yes, but what
about tonight?
It's a funny kind of
holiday to win. More
like a booby prize.
All right, that's it! Ow!
5 hours searching for
a bloody room, and all
you do is lie here
moaning about your
foot. I've had it!
That hurt!
Girl:
Hey, let's check
out the rocks.
Yeah. We can live
with the goats.
Leave her alone,
that must be painful.
What are you looking at?
Ow!
Oh, Rick, I'm sorry.
It's just that...
I don't know, I feel
ever so funny.
I'm starving.
I want some
taramasalata.
Come on.
Hurry up, will you?
Ooh.
Don't put your
weight on it.
How else can I walk with
no weight on my heel?
Sharp:
If we get married,
you could have half
my house in London.
You wouldn't
need a flat.
Plus, there's my
pension when I croak.
And my art collection.
[Sighs]
If only life was so simple.
Oh, look at the light.
Rick:
Excuse me, i-I'm so
sorry to bother you.
I wondered if
you knew somewhere
where we could stay?
See, we can't find a
room, and the thing is,
my wife's a cripple.
Have you tried
the Neptune?
Everywhere is full
up. We can't even
hire a sleeping bag.
Well, um,
you know, if you hurry,
you might get the last
bus back to rhodes.
Oh, no, Rick,
not the bus!
My poor girl,
what happened?
Oh, sea urchins.
The best cure
for that, my
dear, is ammonia.
Urine's quite
effective.
Someone mentioned
something about
yanni renting rooms.
Oh, Penelope
wouldn't go for that.
Oh, w-who's yanni?
Lord Byron.
[Bell chimes]
Come on.
Come on,
darling.
We'll get
a room.
All right?
We'd better
stick with them.
Sharpie, the time
is right and the
light is perfect.
I'd like to get
that shot on the hill.
Okay, see
you later.
Okay, anybody want
to come along?
You come with me.
It's easier
this way.
Take that, Carol.
Where are
you going?
I'll go with
her. She might...
Rick!
I'll see you down
there, all right?
Where's your
luggage?
She took the other
way, with your mate.
I meant, your bags.
Oh, them. They're
at, uh, they're
at the Poseidon.
Which hotel are
you in, then?
Well, I have a house.
Oh, nice! What,
a big house?
[Goat bleats] Come on.
Who's, um, who's the old
guy with the Panama, then?
He's an art historian.
Oh, I thought he was
inland revenue.
Inland what?
Uh, civil servant,
you know, like me.
Are you a tax collector?
Ah, well, I'm an actor,
really. I mean, you know,
at heart, I'm an actor.
[Seagulls squawk]
This is one of my
favorite views.
Rick:
Oh, yes, nice, nice.
[Donkey brays]
Yeah, well, it's,
uh, certainly what
I'd call a view.
To the unknown tourist.
Uh, my name
is Rick lamb.
Girl:
Beauty, Jenny.
I'll take those green
shoes when I've had him.
Rick! Where have you been?
Sorry, we got a bit
involved with the view.
Mr. Sharp's
gone on ahead.
Oh, thank you.
Penelope!
[In Greek]
[In Greek]
[Katherine in Greek]
[In English]
Purple dawn.
[In Greek]
[In English]
She wants to know
if you're noisy.
[Laughs]
Well, normale.
[In English] Right,
how many...What do you want,
rent...Drachmas for room?
[In Greek]
[Carol, in English]
What did she say, Rick?
Well, it's all Greek to me.
Oh, look at
these creases!
You got to press
this, Carol.
Carol:
Oh, here, give it
to me, darling.
Carol!
You don't need this jacket,
Rick. We're on holiday!
Bloody fig leaf!
Come and get it.
[Laughs]
Oh, no, Rick,
don't tickle!
You know it
makes me go funny.
[Carol laughs]
Rick, I want it
to be so romantic.
Our first night
in Greece.
Dining in a taverna.
[Goat bleats]
Oh, hello, um,
are you yanni?
I'm yanni.
I've, um, come
about the rent.
Your mother, she
won't take any rent.
My mother, s-she
will never understand.
Ouch.
Have you hurt
your foot?
Yes.
I can help.
I love foreigners, you see.
What a delicate foot.
Oh, thank you.
You know, I went
to London once.
I think English
women are the most
beautiful of all.
That's
much better,
thank you.
My mother...
My mother can't understand
that I'm a man of pride.
I'm proud to live
on this island,
where the famous
colossus of rhodes
used to stand.
No tourists, no work.
Where would Greece be
without foreigners?
Still buried
underground!
Ouch! I'm sorry!
Oh, careful!
Look out there.
I'm building a monument to
friendship with my money.
You mean, a statue?
By a real living artist!
Donated by me, a
patron of the arts.
A patron of the arts?
Thank you.
It's funny about
our names, isn't it?
What is funny?
Well, my name, it's...
It's Carol lamb.
You are--you are
Caroline lamb?
Yes.
But lady Caroline lamb
was lord Byron's
greatest love.
The love of his life.
Yes.
No.
No. I cannot--
I cannot take rent
from Caroline lamb.
[Sighs]
[Man, in Greek]
Girl: [In English]
Let's get a beer
and find him.
Girl #2:
There's got to be
other talent in the square.
[In Greek]
[In Greek]
[In English]
Sharpie,
what would be the
best present I could
possibly give you?
Get your niagara
plumbing to work.
That would be nice.
No, that's asking
for the impossible.
I mean, really.
What would you
most like to have
in the whole world?
Oh, you mean, really?
Not love, then, or
peace for mankind?
Uh, no, I mean,
what money can buy.
Oh, come on, there must be
something. Anything at all.
Well,
I saw a nice little
sketch the other day of
king's college, Cambridge.
You deserve it,
you've got it.
It's by constable.
It costs about
20,000 pounds.
Come with me.
Katherine:
I've had a letter from
the dealer, konstantinis.
"A client of mine
is ready to pay
$300,000 for it."
I can't believe it.
[Exhales]
"There are,
of course, a
few problems,
"but I understand
sharpie's now
staying with you.
"All the better. I'm flying
to rhodes on June the
17th to meet Roy's yacht,
"so we can all have
a jolly get-together
"and sort things
out. Yours, Mike."
You have saved my life!
My house, your
summer home.
Everything!
Don't get carried
away yet, Katherine.
It's your name
they're buying.
Provenance is
everything!
I need a straight scotch.
Me, too. Me, too.
[Flies buzz]
The only word
I know is
taramasalata.
Yanni's got a more sort
of sensitive face, I think.
He's a nice boy,
but he's weak.
His father was a hero.
My husband
fought all
invaders.
Turkish.
Germans.
So, you do
speak English.
Kill English, too.
[Sings]
Hi.
Man: Hi.
Have you got it?
Yeah, right color.
Ready?
Ready.
[Laughs]
The vampire strikes back.
Not again.
You've messed it all up.
Mmm. I always liked
your mother's lipstick.
It's probably
the only taste we
share in common.
It's not true, dad.
She doesn't really
hate your work.
Well, let's say she
has a very funny way of
expressing her admiration.
What have you said
about the book?
Your mother can't
take criticism.
I wouldn't dare.
This whole monument's
going to be done in marble,
even the ash.
How big is that
cigarette going to be?
Twice your
height. A bit more.
Foreigners
aren't all bad.
Animals, animals.
They don't even
cover themselves up.
Like goats, naked.
I happen to think it's
very generous of yanni
to honor the foreigners
who love this country.
Shows a lot of
imagination.
"Imagination."
[Snickers]
A monument
to the unknown tourist.
The monument
is for a tourist?
Oh, yes, I think so.
Yes, you know, like
the unknown soldier.
[Inhales sharply]
[Door slams]
Chloe:
Smoking is a
disgusting habit, papa.
Oh,
I've got you
a scarf here.
Thanks, papa.
Ban the bomb!
Ban the bomb.
Oh, don't forget
mummy's ashtray.
Thanks. Bye.
Zorba!
I've got zorba the
Greek for the unveiling!
[Hums]
Anthony Quinn, Patrick!
I've got Anthony Quinn!
I've got him! I've got him!
I've got him!
He's coming tomorrow!
He's coming to
cut the ribbon!
Zorba, lord Byron...
Yanni.
Beautiful
Caroline lamb.
[In Greek]
[In Greek]
[Sighs]
[In English]
Yanni, that's one
hell of a mother.
Oh.
Hello.hello.
Going to see
the plumber?
Yeah.
He's sick. Having a
nervous breakdown, I think.
So will I, if his
taps keep on leaking.
So, uh, how's
the esteemed
art historian?
Oh, he's very well.
Still living in
the past, is he?
Patrick, we can't
all keep up with
the times like you.
How's your monument?
Which one?
The unknown smoker? Mmm.
Rather healthy.
I've been to Texas.
The Dallas arts center
wants a 20-foot ashtray
in green marble.
We're arguing about
the flame, though. I
want an eternal flame.
I was more interested
in the unknown tourist
and I don't mean the
one you were fucking
in the thistles
the other day.
Ha!
Ah, Kat--
y-you saw it! You
saw them. Ha!
I mean, it was really,
it was terrifying.
I mean,
you'll--you'll never
believe it, Katherine.
It was really--
it was frightening.
I was gang-raped by
a bunch of Amazons.
There were 6!
6?
Patrick, I wasn't asking
about your private life.
If you can
call it that.
I was referring to
the concrete erection
you plan to unveil on Sunday
in front of the whole world.
Every artist is an
exhibitionist, Katherine,
but only
photographers
are voyeurs.
How long would it
take a boat like this
to get to Turkey?
You like to
go to Turkey?
Yeah, maybe.
Yeah, later.
How long you go here,
Greece, to Turkey?
3 and a half hours, sir.
3 and a half hours, eh?
Turkey is not so good.
Lord Byron
swam to Turkey!
[Giggles]
Sharp:
We could be marooned here
rather a long
time, couldn't we?
Yes, sharpie, one
day I'll meet someone
who can fix an engine.
And the plumbing.
Imagine being
chained to a rock
with an eagle
pecking out
your stomach.
Oh, yes, poor
old prometheus.
Well, what's so terrible
about stealing fire?
Sharp:
Oh,
it's rather like
stealing the secrets
of the atom bomb.
You can't have gods
without secrets, can you?
A boat!
Help!
Help!
Over here!
What an effort
nature makes
to keep her
little secrets.
Mmm.
I like
taramasalata.
You eat
enough of it!
Look, mummy, it's them!
Hey!
[Boat horn sounds]
Katherine:
Look, sharpie!
It's konstantinis.
My dealer from new
York! He's arrived!
God! Not now!
Katherina!
Katherine:
You old fox!
You look gorgeous!
And Sophie!
Chloe.
Chloe.
Oh, this is lovely.
This is Carol
lamb, Rick lamb.
Hi, pleased
to meet you.
Where do we go?
This way. This way.
Down here, this way.
About my vase--
excuse me.
Yes?
Where is our Mr. Sharp?
Oh, uh, you'll
see him later.
Fine. Come,
have a drink.
[Opera music plays]
[All shout and laugh]
[Group shouts and laughs]
Du vol-au-vent?
Bloody layabouts,
they make you
sick, don't they?
Jammy bastards!
Great boat, eh?
If principles don't
get into the way,
we'll have no problem,
uh, smuggling it out.
Ah, gracia.
Rick:
Carol.
They're trying to
smuggle something
out of the country,
and I think it's drugs.
[Speaks Greek]
So, what's the
bottom line?
Mr. Basil sharp!
[Whistles]
Well, basil,
you've always had an
eye for the real thing.
Then why are you paying such
a ridiculous price for it?
What do you mean?
I mean, $300,000
is an odd price
for the real thing.
Why not $500,000?
[Laughs]
He's not called
sharp for nothing.
Yes, of course,
it's worth a
great deal more.
A lot more on
fifth Avenue.
But we're not on
fifth Avenue, basil.
You don't realize
the beaches
and the payoffs
and the commissions on
the way back to New York.
Oh, yes. Mmm.
It's illegal to take
this vase out of Greece.
It's a part of their
national heritage.
I could get put
in jail for this.
I suppose you could.
And that's where
you come in, basil.
[Sniffs]
I want you to
say it's a fake.
Of course, it
may never happen.
But I have to,
uh, cover myself
and you're my insurance.
Sharpie,
what he means is,
I know it's an
enormous favor
to ask, but,
could you tell a lie?
Konstantinis:
What's the lie, katherina?
It is a lie. Shh, shh, shh.
Basil's word is gospel.
If he says it's a fake,
it's a fake! And
that's the beauty of it.
I told you he
was a crook.
Come on, basil.
This is business.
Does katherina
get her $300,000
or not?
Well,
I'd do a lot of
things for Katherine.
Of course it's a fake!
Anyone can see
it's a fake.
Would you sign a
letter to that effect?
Yes, I'll sign it.
If you'll pay
an extra 20,000
to Katherine.
What?
Pounds.
[Laughs]
Po-- you can't
be serious!
Pity.
[Katherine whispers]
Sharpie, no, what
are you doing?
No.
[Clears throat]
[Snaps fingers]
It's a deal.
Oh!
Eureka!
Let's celebrate.
Carol:
$300,000, Rick.
That's how much
she's getting for
an old Greek pot!
All paid into
a Panamanian
bank account.
That's where they
keep it these
days, in Panama.
Rick:Panama.
And it's tax-free.
All she's got to
do is smuggle it
out of the country.
I'd love to see it, Rick.
Why don't you ask
her? She likes you.
Rick:
Oh, come on, then.
Carol:
She does.
[Donkey brays]
She's quite beautiful.
I like her lips.
I like the way
she moves her lips.
Yeah, we've all
got lips, Rick.
Well, she's got
style, hasn't she?
Oh! Oh,
style, is it?
Hey, Benny!
Hi, I'll see you
at the bouzouki!
All right. Yee-hah!
Come on, move.
♪ Get them doggies moving ♪
...and he's comin'
around becher's
brook! Come on...
[Benny screams]
Carol:
"The mountains
look on marathon
"marathon looks
on the sea
"and musing there
an hour alone
"I dreamed that
Greece might
still be free"
Byron died for this
country, you know.
Byron was a
fart, wasn't he?
You don't know
what it means to
be romantic, Rick.
You'd never jump
off a cliff for me.
Look.
I've had a
butchers at that book
that yanni gave you.
I know a thing or 2
about your poet hero.
[Female tourists chatter]
Guide:
Come down here and we'll look
at these magnificent columns
which is part of
the ancient temple.
If you keep coming
down, you'll see the
tomb of theophilus.
Lord Byron was a drug
addict, sex maniac.
He had it off with
anything with a pulse.
Rick! Turkish tarts,
kid sisters,
little Greek
boys, even goats!
I don't believe that.
No, don't believe me!
Don't believe your
own husband!
Only lord
yanni now.
Look, look, it's a great
honor to be asked to
recite at the ceremony.
Even Anthony
Quinn's going
to be there.
Yeah, you're right,
Carol. I'm worthless.
I've got no red
streak in my hair.
I have no pot in Panama!
I'm just a boring
old pooh, Mr. Lamb!
Farewell!
Forever!
[Screams]
Help!
Rick:
I've got a hard-on.
I want to see it.
What?
I want to see
that vase, Rick!
[Sighs heavily]
[Greek music plays]
[Sings in Greek]
[Speaks Greek]
Lovely party,
Katherine.
Thanks, barnaby. Good!
Chloe, darling,
thank you very,
very much.
Did you find Patrick?
Yes, he wants
you to ask him.
Anyway, he's having his
own celebration tomorrow.
Oh, well, pashas
must have jewels.
Perfect.
Give me those.
Hello, Katherine!
Hello, Rick.
You look wonderful. I didn't
realize it was going to
be quite so special.
I should've changed.
Carol's over there.
Ooh!
[Laughs]
[Hiccups]
I had too much
taramasalata.
[Laughs]
Wh-what would you
like to call it?
The unknown tourist.
Chloe:
Too lucky!
6 and 4.
Basil!
Hello, dear boy.
Suits you,
the little red streak.
There was a call
for you, basil.
From London.
Very important.
Um, Mr. Thompson.
He's coming tomorrow
morning at 8:00.
So...
The "black spot"
has arrived.
Like in treasure island?
Sorry, Chloe.
I hope you can
come tomorrow.
It's the unveiling
of my monument.
I'll do my best.
[Loud chattering]
Katherina!
Have a dionysus'
delight, Mr. C.
Thanks.
That basil sharp is a
sentimental old fool.
He's insane!
How can the
British museum
give the Elgin marbles
back to the Greeks?
It's like giving--
giving Arizona back
to the apaches!
[Laughs]
I'm sorry.
I hardly touched it.
Katherine:
That's my niagara.
Porca miseria!
[Penelope, in Greek]
[Breathing heavily]
[In English]
Rick.
I've found it! What?
I've found
the pot, Rick.
Just wait, Carol,
will you?
I've found
Katherine's pot!
Lovely.
It's dripping on me.
[Flushes]
[Music plays]
Stay there, Rick.
It's very easy
to have style
if you've got
things like this.
Rick:
Don't, Carol!
$300,000, Rick!
Carol!
[Gasps]
Christ, you're out
of your fucking mind!
Jesus, you are
out of your mind!
Guest:
Is basil in here?
Um, uh, uh,
I think--i think
he's in the kitchen.
Fuss over nothing.
What are you
trying to do to me?
I cannot live
with this tension.
For Christ's sake,
watch what you're doing.
You are so bloody nosy.
There's no need to panic!
Bloody hell--
[gasps]
[Carol gasps]
Oh, my god!
Rick: Oh!
Oh!
[Thumps]
Carol!
Carol:
I feel funny.
Carol, you stupid bitch!
Sharpie?
Sharpie!
I am in such a
silly mood tonight.
I'm so relieved,
I love everybody.
Have a drink.
Thanks.
Mmm!
Look at the
moon. Look at
the moon, sharpie.
Look at the moon.
I could get up to some
real mischief tonight!
Now, Katherine, listen.
Come on down!
Come on down!
Oh, Katherine...
Let me go, Rick.
Oh!
Oh!
Konstantinis:
What is it? Does
she need a drink?
Yes, she's all right.
She's had quite enough
to drink, thank you.
Katherine:
Does she need a doctor?
No, I think
she's all right.
Caroline, my little lamb!
Push off, will ya?
She's my little lamb!
What have you
done to her?
I haven't done anything,
just leave her alone.
Rick, I'm going
to throw up!
Hey, put her down,
mate. Have a drink.
Sorry I can't give
you a hand, mate.
I've had an argument
with a donkey.
Katherine:
Ah, Penelope,
you've come!
[In Greek]
[In English]
Oh, thank you. Come
in. Yanni is dancing.
[In English]
Dancing!
I love my son, but,
he--he breaks my
heart like this.
He's not unlike
his father.
His father gave his
life for this country,
his blood for
this earth!
[Huffs]
Penelope, his father...
Died drunk,
falling off a
cliff, dancing.
He was a
great dancer.
Glue.
Rick: What?
You can stick anything
together these days.
Shut up, Carol.
What are we going to do?
I don't know.
If I can get
those pieces out,
we can make them
think it was stolen.
Rick.
Yup.
Rick.
What?
Turkey.
Hey?
They'll never
find US there.
Oh, shut up, Carol.
I've got to get
rid of the evidence.
Oh, Christ!
I hope it's not
too bloody late.
[Door opens]
I don't know what
you see in her lips.
I've got lips.
[Shuffling]
[Snores]
[Door opens]
Shit!
Rick.
You didn't tell me.
Uhh...
You didn't tell
me what you'd done!
No.
You mended the niagara!
Ahh--oh.
I love you!
You're a real man.
Mmm.
Katherine,
there's, uh...
Oh.
There's--there's
something I have
to tell you.
Let's go to the beach.
Let's go to the beach.
[Snores]
[Snores]
[Snores]
Let's get out of here!
Ah-- come. Come.
Yes.
[Rick laughs]
Katherine:
That way! Go that way!
[Laughs]
Rick:
Katherine!
Whoo! Whoo!
I've got to tell
you something.
I don't want to
know anything. Don't
be so serious!
I wanna be silly!
A fling with a zing!
[Laughs]
[Music plays]
[Musician sings in Greek]
Oopah!
Oopah!
Both:
Oopee!
[Laughs]
[In Greek]
[Sings in Greek]
[Music plays in background]
[Rick laughs]
Katherine: [In English]
It's wonderful!
It's great!
Oh!
Whoo!
Whoo!
Mmm!
Mmm!
Mmm!
Mmm!
Mmm!
Oh, Patrick!
Rick.
Ah!
Oh!
Oh, I can't
believe this!
Oh, Katherine!
Oh, Patrick,
I love you!
It's Rick. I
love you, too.
Oh, Patrick.
It's Rick.
Rick?
Yes.
I'm cold.
I'm cold.
I'm a bit drunk.
Where are my clothes?
I'm freezing!
[Shivers]
Oh, thank you.
Thank you.
I'll warm you up.
I've never felt
like this before!
Rick, I'm terribly sorry.
Don't be sorry.
This is the most...
It's the most fantastic
night of my life.
You're the most
wonderful woman
I've ever met!
No, I'm not.
Oh, yes, you
are, you're...
Oh, you're
the woman of
a lifetime.
No.
I have to go. What?
I have to go.
B-But...
I have to go. I do.
I'm terribly--
I'm very sorry.
I do.
Oh!
I have to go.Wait!
Shit.
Shit!
Shit! Shit!
Shit!
Rick!
Rick!
[Cat meows]
Where are you?
Patrick.
Patrick.
Patrick. [Moans]
Patrick,
I do need to
speak to you.
I want to know
something. Do
you love me?
Love you?
What time is it?
It's--it's late.
Do you love me,
or don't you?
Katherine, what is this?
Oh.
I'm sorry.
Do you love
me now?
[Sighs]
Yes, Katherine,
I love you.
Patrick, this is
important. Do you
really love me?
[Sighs]
Yes, I love you.
Love me? What else?
What does
that mean?
Excuse me.
Sorry.
Love, it's, um, it's
something to do with
the heart, isn't it?
What are you
going to do
about it?
Do?
What do you
want me to do?
Have our
3rd affair?
Get married again?
All right.
Okay, then. Now, for
Christ's sake, let
me get some sleep.
Good night.
Katherine:
Night.
[Locks door]
Katherine:
Patrick, your tap,
it's dripping.
Sharp:
"Far and few,
"far and few
"are the lands where
the jumblies live
"their heads are green
"and their hands are blue
"and they went
to sea in a sieve"
yanni!
What'll they do with
the 10th man, yanni?
Dear yanni.
Kind yanni.
No, no, Rick lamb.
I love you, yanni.
No.
You're so...
Sweet.
Thank you.
One of these days,
someone's going to
mistake me for me.
Come on, get up,
that's right.
Sharp:
They'll send me
to the land of
the chankly bore.
Dear yanni.
Rick:
I'm not yanni.
To the land of
the chankly bore!
Come on.
Come on.
I'm sorry, you know,
about our quarrel.
Katherine,
don't start again.
But we've got to
have it out. And I
do like your work.
I like it, in a gallery.
Putting up the unknown
tourist in the main
square of lindos is a joke.
What's wrong
with a joke?
It's not funny.
It's too true.
It's ironic, Katherine.
It's the way things are.
It's cynical.
Who's that girl,
by the way?
June.
June who?
Oh, I don't know.
You see?
People are all
the same to you,
aren't they?
You're too lazy to
really care about anyone.
And why did it have to
be me who has to come up
here and make up with you?
You said you never
wanted to talk to me
again in your life.
Those were your words.
But you know I
don't mean it.
You're too lazy to
do anything about it.
You said you hated
the unknown tourist.
Well, I hate it here
in the square.
It's yanni's
commercial wheeze.
All right, Katherine,
if you want to
have it out...
What about your book,
the light of Greece?
What about it?
There's not one
single photograph
of modern Greece
in it, not one.
It's as if beauty died
somewhere out there,
in the distant past.
You're as out of
date as your dear
friend basil sharp.
Keep basil out of it.
Out of it?
You can say that
again. He's missed
the last 2,000 years.
Is there anything
else, Patrick?
You sure you
want to hear this?
Yes, I do.
The light,
Katherine. Where is
the light of Greece?
I mean, this is
the light of Kodak!
If you can't see
the light, Patrick,
you must be blind
and you certainly
don't understand me.
[Shatters]
Patrick:
And if my work is
so offensive to you,
you certainly
don't understand me!
By the way,
if you need one, I
know a great plumber
who really
know how to use
a screwdriver.
[Door slams]
[Sings in Greek]
[In Greek]
[Sighs]
Carol: [In English]
Yanni, nobody but yanni.
Who cares if Anthony
Quinn doesn't come?
This is what matters!
[Laughs]
Caroline.
[Laughs]
It's your day
tomorrow!
Yanni:
Caroline.
Listen.
"The mountains
looked on Panama
"and Panama
looked on the sea..."
No, "marathon
looked on the sea"
yanni, I've done
something dreadful!
Shh.
[Sobs]
Shh.
Shh.
Caroline,
[groans]
Look at me.
I love you.
[Gasps]
[In Greek]
[In English]
Sharpie?
Ooh.
Hey.
Come on, baby.
Come on.
Come on, baby.
Come on.
Out we go,
come on. Move.
Come on.
Come on, baby.
Ooh.
What a night, sharpie.
[Moans]
You sleep it off.
I didn't mean
what I said.
You know
I like your book.
[Rooster crows]
[Goat bleats]
[Goat bleats]
[Donkey brays]
Sharp:
How about you?
Did you have
a silly time?
Oh, yes,
wonderfully silly.
With Patrick.
Oh.
I'm glad.
You seemed so
happy last night,
I hadn't the heart
to tell you,
but some rather
terrible things happened.
I'm afraid there
was a breakage.
I found it like this.
It can't be true!
Well, not quite true.
You see, it's a fake.
A fake?
My vase is a fake?
Exactly what I told
konstantinis it was.
I wasn't lying.
Very beautiful,
of course, and quite old.
Early 19th-century copy.
It's worth
sticking together,
I think.
Oh, my pot.
What happened? I mean,
who broke it, sharpie?
I don't know.
I found it
on the floor.
Katherine:
But I...
I locked it in the
cupboard, I think.
Didn't I?
There's something
else I have to tell you.
It's about me.
I'm the real fake
in this story.
They haven't named
me yet, but they will.
Today or tomorrow.
They'll call
me a traitor.
Some of the things
they've accused
me of are true.
I did pass secrets
to the Russians
during the war.
[Gasps]
[Whispers]
Are you a spy?
It's a shock
for you, I know.
You see,
when I was very young,
the communists seemed...
Well, they were
the only people
ready to organize
against fascism.
Are you-- are you
the 10th man?
[Rooster crows]
The 15th, I believe.
Oh, Katherine.
Try to understand.
Your generation has
been taught to think
that we were bound
to oppose the Nazis.
But you can't
possibly imagine
the apathy that there was
in england before the war.
Oh, yes, I
think I can.
In the Nazis, I
saw hell on earth.
It made me blind
about the communists.
Then, when the war ended,
with the atom bomb,
that was another
kind of hell.
Anyway, the past has
caught up with me.
And I'm ready
to pay for it.
[Donkey brays]
Sharpie, you
can't go to jail!
In a way, it'll
be a relief.
I can't bear it!
[Sobs]
I did tell you
it was a copy,
by the way, when
I gave it to you.
Though you
probably forgot.
The one thing
in my life
that I've never
consciously
lied about
was a work of art.
Though I suppose
I might have
done it for you.
But that's
because I
love you.
[Sniffs]
One can do
almost anything
for love.
[Vomits]
Well, well, what
do you know?
James "sharpie" bond.
And I thought he
was out of date.
Carol?
Carol!
Where's my gun?
It's not a gun,
Rick. It's a pot.
Look, my gun is gone!
Where's my fucking gun?
It's not a gun,
Rick. It's a pot.
Where's my gun?
What's that?
Oh, look, my jacket's
not even pressed!
I could lose my
bloody license
for this!
What license?
To kill!
Rick?
[Donkey brays]
Attendez.
Hello, basil.
[Sneezes]
Hello, Thompson.
Damned air
conditioning
on these planes.
Summer colds are the
worst, aren't they?
I've been expecting
this for years.
Jail might even
give me a chance
to finish my book.
A few friends
will visit me,
the ones that matter.
I don't think you
quite understand, basil.
Nobody wants to
put you in jail.
The fact is,
basil, nobody...
Oh, bless you.
...wants a public
enquiry at all.
We want you--want you--
want you to escape!
Escape.
Escape?
You are at the
Istanbul Hilton
for one night.
Then on Bulgarian
airways to Sofia.
Bulgarian airways?
We booked you in
at the vishota.
It's supposed to
be comfortable.
I expect the other
side will pick you
up from there.
But...
But I don't want
to live in Moscow.
Nobody does.
But somebody's got to.
Ah,
I'm David Locke.
Basil basilovich
next, I suppose.
Better for
everybody.
Ah, here's your
tour guide.
Mr. Lamb.
Are you all
right, lamb?
This is your
passenger,
David Locke.
He'll see you off,
help with the bags.
I think that's
everything.
Have a pleasant trip.
Right.
Tell me, Mr. Lamb,
did you know who I was,
the day you picked
US up on the beach?
No, sir.
Katherine will be as
surprised as I am.
Look, I'm sorry.
Well, no, I'm not
going to apologize!
You're a traitor!
You betrayed your
country! Now they're
letting you go scot-free.
You should
be hanged!
When will you
be coming to
collect the bags?
She know who you
are, does she?
Are you going to tell
her what a liar you are?
Oh!
Or am I going
to sweep
the dirty facts under
the carpet, like you?
Oh, don't worry.
I'll cover for you.
She's got
enough problems.
I would have
thought I
had a right
to know I was
married to a spy!
I'm not a spy.
I'm an agent.
They only sent me because
everybody else in the
department had flu.
Nail Polish.
What's the difference,
you both have to
lie, don't you?
He's a traitor, Carol.
Yes, but he's
covering up for
US, isn't he?
Despise me.
[Sighs]
Katherine's going
to despise me.
Oh, shut up, Rick.
You're spoiling
everything.
How am I supposed
to remember my lines?
Oh, my god,
I can't find
the nail Polish!
[Hums battle march]
[Sings in Greek]
[In Greek]
[Marching band plays]
[Sings in Greek]
[In English]
I left some letters in
my room, in the drawer.
One of them
is for yanni.
I was very fond
of him, you know.
Oh, sharpie...
5 minutes,
all right?
Yes, sir.
[In Greek]
[Crowd cheers]
[Drum roll]
Man:
It's Benny!
[Crowd gasps]
[Crowd cheers]
Benny:
Bloody hell!
Get away, go on!
I'm going, I'm going!
"The isles of Greece--"
man:
Give her a chance!
"The isles of Greece..."
[In Greek]
[In English]
"And musing there
"an hour alone
"I dreamed that Greece
"might still be free"
[gun fires]
[Crowd screams]
[Penelope, in Greek]
[Woman screams]
[Gun fires]
[Woman, in Greek]
[In Greek]
[In Greek]
[Band plays]
[In Greek]
Yanni: [In English]
Hold on.
[In Greek]
[Gun fires]
[In Greek]
[Woman screams]
[Yanni, in Greek]
Carol:
Yanni!
Yanni!
[In Greek]
[In English]
I'll give you statues!
I'll build the
biggest statue
in the world.
I'll rebuild the
colossus of rhodes.
Sharp:
I've got another vase
for you in London.
A genuine one.
But my word may
not count as it did.
I think the boat's
ready now, sir. Ah.
I didn't know it
was going to be him.
Nobody's accusing
you of anything.
But, I...
Well,
I suppose I mustn't
miss the boat.
And you mustn't miss
the unknown tourist.
We'll send you
lots of things!
Food parcels,
Christmas pudding.
It's the boat
at the end.
[Dog barks]
Ban the bomb.
Ban the bomb.
Take this.
I want you
to have it.
Katherine.
Chloe:
My jeans, sharpie!
They're worth
a fortune!
They don't have
them in Russia.
Oh, Chloe, really!
I don't need jeans.
Jeans!
Catch!
Take them off!
But I'm on duty!
You owe me a damn sight
more than a pair of jeans!
Now, give them to me!
Come on!
[Dog barks]
Unh!
Thank you.
Goodbye!
Bye, sharpie.
[Boat motor sounds]
I'll write to
you forever!
Chloe:
Bye!
Goodbye!
Opisthia!
Sharpie!
Opisthia,sharpie!
Opisthia!
I can't hear you.
Opisthia.
Your future's
behind you.
Did sharpie
tell you that?
Yep.
[Goat bleats]
Katherine:
"Dearest sharpie...
"You'll never guess
who ended up buying
your genuine pot.
"Konstantinis!
"Thanks to your help,
I still have my house.
"But my view from
the terrace
"is horribly empty
without you.
"If you think the
statues in Moscow
"are too heroic
for your taste,
"I wonder what you
would have thought
"of Patrick's
monument in Dallas.
"He was wonderfully
brave, though.
"He used the unveiling
to stub out his
last cigarette.
"Meanwhile, here in lindos,
"yanni seems
determined to
outdo everyone,
"to set his
stamp on the world.
"He's begun work on
what he says will be
"the biggest
statue in Greece.
"The new colossus of rhodes.
"So far, Penelope
seems to be taking
it in her stride.
"But one never
knows with her."
[In Greek]
[Laughs]
[Laughs hysterically]
Whoa.
[In Greek]
[In Greek]
[Sings in Greek]
[Birds chirp]
[Donkey brays]
[Birds sing]
[Bell tolls]
[Rooster crows]
[Donkey brays]
[In Greek]
[In Greek]
[Soula responds in Greek]
[Sighs]
[In Greek]
[In English]
End of an era.
No more feta cheese
in your shop.
[In English]
I believe
in progress.
You believe in
preservation.
Jumbos!
With the new airport, I
can make a lot of money.
Then, maybe this
place will look
as nice to me as
it does to you.
I hope you make
a lot of money.
[Woman speaking]
[In Greek]
[Crying]
[In Greek]
Yanni.
[Penelope speaking]
[Sighs]
[In English]
A monument.
[Birds sing]
[Rooster crows]
[Katherine in Greek]
[Donkey brays]
[In English]
What's wrong, mama?
[In English]
Money.
It's always money.
Your book!
Oh, it's beautiful!
I don't care if it's
been in your museum
for 100 years.
That little torso
can't be 5th-century.
Look at his pectorals.
Pectorals like
that are a typically
4th-century development.
Is the car here?
If you think my
article is scathing,
come along to one
of my lectures.
Goodbye, Edward.
Myles has got flu.
Roberton's got flu.
Even spender's caved in.
Which makes
you, Mr. Lamb,
the lucky winner of
the office raffle.
Rhodes!
The colossus
of rhodes?
One of the
wonders of
the world?
Well, that's where
you're going.
A lovely little
village called lindos.
Charter flight,
confirmed reservation
at hotel Poseidon,
Mr. and Mrs. Lamb.
Is that clear?
Yes, sir, very
good, sir.
What am I
going to do, sir?
Do as you're told.
We may have a little
item we want to export
to Turkey, lamb.
Till then,
just lie
in the sun
and wait for
instructions.
Okay? Yes, sir.
By the way, it
says in your file
that you know something
about guns. Is that correct?
You do know which end
the bullet comes out of?
Oh, yes. Yes, sir.
Oh, what should I
tell my wife, sir?
Come on, lamb!
Tell her it's a
2nd honeymoon!
Ah!
Watch it!
[Sighs heavily]
Don't know what
the score is?
England never
plays so well away.
Makes no difference when the
whole of england's on holiday.
No wonder the
economy's a mess.
Aren't you on
holiday, then?
Enjoy it, mate.
It only comes
once a year.
Mr. Lamb,
I am very sorry.
No rooms.
No rooms?
What do you
mean, no rooms?
We've got a bloody
booking, haven't we?
Booking, yes,
rooms, no.
[Benny]
Here we are.
All right? Hello, Mick.
There you are,
all right?
Benny, pleased
to meet you.
Benny, all right.
Anybody want
any suntan oil
rubbing in, eh?
[Donkey brays]
I wish you still
sold feta cheese.
And olive oil. Thank you.
If your mother
signs these, I can
raise the price.
Ban the bomb!
Ban the bomb! Ban the bomb!
Hold on.
Chloe!
Sharpie!
Chloe, I can't
pick them
up, help me!
Hey, June,
check this out!
A single-breasted bikini!
Beauty!
This is a
mistake.
That's great, yanni.
I'll buy that!
Is it half price?
We'll take 6.
6 singles!
With studs.
We want studs!
Studs?
Green, blue...
Of course, along the edge. Yeah!
[Toilet flushes]
Aristotle:
Good.
Katherine:
No!
No!
No! No!
Aristotle!
15 years, you've
been trying
to fix this
and it wouldn't
drown a flea!
Niagara!
Niagara Falls!
Whoosh!
Whoosh!
Mummy, I've got a
surprise for you.
What? What is it?
Come and look.
Oh, sharpie. Yes.
How wonderful
to see you.
Oh!
Oh, wonderful
to see you.
Sharpie?
Hmm? Oh, Chloe.
What a paradise!
[Sighs]
I think I could
sit here forever.
I think mummy's
upset about something.
Really?
Yes, she's always
fussing around the house.
She worries about
money and stuff.
She cries at sunset.
Cries at sunset?
Do you know that
I still don't know
what school
I'm going to go
to next year?
I wish I knew what
was going to happen.
Oh, my dear,
thinking about
the future is
a modern vice.
Opisthiawas a much
healthier attitude.
What's opisthia?
Well,
imagine that life's a road,
or rather,
suppose it's a river
and we're all rowing
along in our little boats
with our backs to
where we're going.
Then, what we're looking at,
what's stretching
in front of US,
is the past, isn't it?
The future's
always behind US.
That's what
opisthiais about.
So you mean, like standing
backwards on an escalator.
[Laughs]
Yes.
How's your
father doing?
He's fine.
Are they on speaking
terms at the moment?
Of course not.
They're still
quarrelling
about art.
This time,
it's about a statue
he's making for yanni.
I think you
should marry mummy.
You're the only man
she doesn't quarrel with.
Chloe, can you go and
get the coffee, please?
Sharp:
Oh, there you are.
Mummy, you're
always interrupting.
Sharp:
Thank you.
You look stunning. Oh.
[Sighs]
Do you remember the pot?
Hmm.
You gave it to
me years ago.
It's rather
charming,
isn't it?
I'd forgotten.
Sharpie,
I know that one
is not supposed
to sell presents,
but would you mind
very much if I did?
Of course not,
it's yours.
But I don't
think you'll get
very much for it.
Well...
There's a New York dealer
who thinks it might
be worth quite a lot.
I doubt that.
I'm broke, sharpie.
I think I'm going to
have to sell the house.
Sell the house?
That serious?
Yup.
And I can't bear
to tell Chloe.
It's our last summer here.
Katherine,
what's happened?
Oh, you know,
too many debts.
My train de vie,
I suppose.
And my book
isn't selling.
The light of Greece? Mm-hmm.
But it's a big success.
It's in every
bookshop!
Exactly. No
one's buying it.
I can't believe you told
me this is a 2nd honeymoon
and we haven't even
got a place to stay! Ow!
I said it's not my
fault, Carol. It's
only till tomorrow.
We'll find a room tomorrow!
Yes, but what
about tonight?
It's a funny kind of
holiday to win. More
like a booby prize.
All right, that's it! Ow!
5 hours searching for
a bloody room, and all
you do is lie here
moaning about your
foot. I've had it!
That hurt!
Girl:
Hey, let's check
out the rocks.
Yeah. We can live
with the goats.
Leave her alone,
that must be painful.
What are you looking at?
Ow!
Oh, Rick, I'm sorry.
It's just that...
I don't know, I feel
ever so funny.
I'm starving.
I want some
taramasalata.
Come on.
Hurry up, will you?
Ooh.
Don't put your
weight on it.
How else can I walk with
no weight on my heel?
Sharp:
If we get married,
you could have half
my house in London.
You wouldn't
need a flat.
Plus, there's my
pension when I croak.
And my art collection.
[Sighs]
If only life was so simple.
Oh, look at the light.
Rick:
Excuse me, i-I'm so
sorry to bother you.
I wondered if
you knew somewhere
where we could stay?
See, we can't find a
room, and the thing is,
my wife's a cripple.
Have you tried
the Neptune?
Everywhere is full
up. We can't even
hire a sleeping bag.
Well, um,
you know, if you hurry,
you might get the last
bus back to rhodes.
Oh, no, Rick,
not the bus!
My poor girl,
what happened?
Oh, sea urchins.
The best cure
for that, my
dear, is ammonia.
Urine's quite
effective.
Someone mentioned
something about
yanni renting rooms.
Oh, Penelope
wouldn't go for that.
Oh, w-who's yanni?
Lord Byron.
[Bell chimes]
Come on.
Come on,
darling.
We'll get
a room.
All right?
We'd better
stick with them.
Sharpie, the time
is right and the
light is perfect.
I'd like to get
that shot on the hill.
Okay, see
you later.
Okay, anybody want
to come along?
You come with me.
It's easier
this way.
Take that, Carol.
Where are
you going?
I'll go with
her. She might...
Rick!
I'll see you down
there, all right?
Where's your
luggage?
She took the other
way, with your mate.
I meant, your bags.
Oh, them. They're
at, uh, they're
at the Poseidon.
Which hotel are
you in, then?
Well, I have a house.
Oh, nice! What,
a big house?
[Goat bleats] Come on.
Who's, um, who's the old
guy with the Panama, then?
He's an art historian.
Oh, I thought he was
inland revenue.
Inland what?
Uh, civil servant,
you know, like me.
Are you a tax collector?
Ah, well, I'm an actor,
really. I mean, you know,
at heart, I'm an actor.
[Seagulls squawk]
This is one of my
favorite views.
Rick:
Oh, yes, nice, nice.
[Donkey brays]
Yeah, well, it's,
uh, certainly what
I'd call a view.
To the unknown tourist.
Uh, my name
is Rick lamb.
Girl:
Beauty, Jenny.
I'll take those green
shoes when I've had him.
Rick! Where have you been?
Sorry, we got a bit
involved with the view.
Mr. Sharp's
gone on ahead.
Oh, thank you.
Penelope!
[In Greek]
[In Greek]
[Katherine in Greek]
[In English]
Purple dawn.
[In Greek]
[In English]
She wants to know
if you're noisy.
[Laughs]
Well, normale.
[In English] Right,
how many...What do you want,
rent...Drachmas for room?
[In Greek]
[Carol, in English]
What did she say, Rick?
Well, it's all Greek to me.
Oh, look at
these creases!
You got to press
this, Carol.
Carol:
Oh, here, give it
to me, darling.
Carol!
You don't need this jacket,
Rick. We're on holiday!
Bloody fig leaf!
Come and get it.
[Laughs]
Oh, no, Rick,
don't tickle!
You know it
makes me go funny.
[Carol laughs]
Rick, I want it
to be so romantic.
Our first night
in Greece.
Dining in a taverna.
[Goat bleats]
Oh, hello, um,
are you yanni?
I'm yanni.
I've, um, come
about the rent.
Your mother, she
won't take any rent.
My mother, s-she
will never understand.
Ouch.
Have you hurt
your foot?
Yes.
I can help.
I love foreigners, you see.
What a delicate foot.
Oh, thank you.
You know, I went
to London once.
I think English
women are the most
beautiful of all.
That's
much better,
thank you.
My mother...
My mother can't understand
that I'm a man of pride.
I'm proud to live
on this island,
where the famous
colossus of rhodes
used to stand.
No tourists, no work.
Where would Greece be
without foreigners?
Still buried
underground!
Ouch! I'm sorry!
Oh, careful!
Look out there.
I'm building a monument to
friendship with my money.
You mean, a statue?
By a real living artist!
Donated by me, a
patron of the arts.
A patron of the arts?
Thank you.
It's funny about
our names, isn't it?
What is funny?
Well, my name, it's...
It's Carol lamb.
You are--you are
Caroline lamb?
Yes.
But lady Caroline lamb
was lord Byron's
greatest love.
The love of his life.
Yes.
No.
No. I cannot--
I cannot take rent
from Caroline lamb.
[Sighs]
[Man, in Greek]
Girl: [In English]
Let's get a beer
and find him.
Girl #2:
There's got to be
other talent in the square.
[In Greek]
[In Greek]
[In English]
Sharpie,
what would be the
best present I could
possibly give you?
Get your niagara
plumbing to work.
That would be nice.
No, that's asking
for the impossible.
I mean, really.
What would you
most like to have
in the whole world?
Oh, you mean, really?
Not love, then, or
peace for mankind?
Uh, no, I mean,
what money can buy.
Oh, come on, there must be
something. Anything at all.
Well,
I saw a nice little
sketch the other day of
king's college, Cambridge.
You deserve it,
you've got it.
It's by constable.
It costs about
20,000 pounds.
Come with me.
Katherine:
I've had a letter from
the dealer, konstantinis.
"A client of mine
is ready to pay
$300,000 for it."
I can't believe it.
[Exhales]
"There are,
of course, a
few problems,
"but I understand
sharpie's now
staying with you.
"All the better. I'm flying
to rhodes on June the
17th to meet Roy's yacht,
"so we can all have
a jolly get-together
"and sort things
out. Yours, Mike."
You have saved my life!
My house, your
summer home.
Everything!
Don't get carried
away yet, Katherine.
It's your name
they're buying.
Provenance is
everything!
I need a straight scotch.
Me, too. Me, too.
[Flies buzz]
The only word
I know is
taramasalata.
Yanni's got a more sort
of sensitive face, I think.
He's a nice boy,
but he's weak.
His father was a hero.
My husband
fought all
invaders.
Turkish.
Germans.
So, you do
speak English.
Kill English, too.
[Sings]
Hi.
Man: Hi.
Have you got it?
Yeah, right color.
Ready?
Ready.
[Laughs]
The vampire strikes back.
Not again.
You've messed it all up.
Mmm. I always liked
your mother's lipstick.
It's probably
the only taste we
share in common.
It's not true, dad.
She doesn't really
hate your work.
Well, let's say she
has a very funny way of
expressing her admiration.
What have you said
about the book?
Your mother can't
take criticism.
I wouldn't dare.
This whole monument's
going to be done in marble,
even the ash.
How big is that
cigarette going to be?
Twice your
height. A bit more.
Foreigners
aren't all bad.
Animals, animals.
They don't even
cover themselves up.
Like goats, naked.
I happen to think it's
very generous of yanni
to honor the foreigners
who love this country.
Shows a lot of
imagination.
"Imagination."
[Snickers]
A monument
to the unknown tourist.
The monument
is for a tourist?
Oh, yes, I think so.
Yes, you know, like
the unknown soldier.
[Inhales sharply]
[Door slams]
Chloe:
Smoking is a
disgusting habit, papa.
Oh,
I've got you
a scarf here.
Thanks, papa.
Ban the bomb!
Ban the bomb.
Oh, don't forget
mummy's ashtray.
Thanks. Bye.
Zorba!
I've got zorba the
Greek for the unveiling!
[Hums]
Anthony Quinn, Patrick!
I've got Anthony Quinn!
I've got him! I've got him!
I've got him!
He's coming tomorrow!
He's coming to
cut the ribbon!
Zorba, lord Byron...
Yanni.
Beautiful
Caroline lamb.
[In Greek]
[In Greek]
[Sighs]
[In English]
Yanni, that's one
hell of a mother.
Oh.
Hello.hello.
Going to see
the plumber?
Yeah.
He's sick. Having a
nervous breakdown, I think.
So will I, if his
taps keep on leaking.
So, uh, how's
the esteemed
art historian?
Oh, he's very well.
Still living in
the past, is he?
Patrick, we can't
all keep up with
the times like you.
How's your monument?
Which one?
The unknown smoker? Mmm.
Rather healthy.
I've been to Texas.
The Dallas arts center
wants a 20-foot ashtray
in green marble.
We're arguing about
the flame, though. I
want an eternal flame.
I was more interested
in the unknown tourist
and I don't mean the
one you were fucking
in the thistles
the other day.
Ha!
Ah, Kat--
y-you saw it! You
saw them. Ha!
I mean, it was really,
it was terrifying.
I mean,
you'll--you'll never
believe it, Katherine.
It was really--
it was frightening.
I was gang-raped by
a bunch of Amazons.
There were 6!
6?
Patrick, I wasn't asking
about your private life.
If you can
call it that.
I was referring to
the concrete erection
you plan to unveil on Sunday
in front of the whole world.
Every artist is an
exhibitionist, Katherine,
but only
photographers
are voyeurs.
How long would it
take a boat like this
to get to Turkey?
You like to
go to Turkey?
Yeah, maybe.
Yeah, later.
How long you go here,
Greece, to Turkey?
3 and a half hours, sir.
3 and a half hours, eh?
Turkey is not so good.
Lord Byron
swam to Turkey!
[Giggles]
Sharp:
We could be marooned here
rather a long
time, couldn't we?
Yes, sharpie, one
day I'll meet someone
who can fix an engine.
And the plumbing.
Imagine being
chained to a rock
with an eagle
pecking out
your stomach.
Oh, yes, poor
old prometheus.
Well, what's so terrible
about stealing fire?
Sharp:
Oh,
it's rather like
stealing the secrets
of the atom bomb.
You can't have gods
without secrets, can you?
A boat!
Help!
Help!
Over here!
What an effort
nature makes
to keep her
little secrets.
Mmm.
I like
taramasalata.
You eat
enough of it!
Look, mummy, it's them!
Hey!
[Boat horn sounds]
Katherine:
Look, sharpie!
It's konstantinis.
My dealer from new
York! He's arrived!
God! Not now!
Katherina!
Katherine:
You old fox!
You look gorgeous!
And Sophie!
Chloe.
Chloe.
Oh, this is lovely.
This is Carol
lamb, Rick lamb.
Hi, pleased
to meet you.
Where do we go?
This way. This way.
Down here, this way.
About my vase--
excuse me.
Yes?
Where is our Mr. Sharp?
Oh, uh, you'll
see him later.
Fine. Come,
have a drink.
[Opera music plays]
[All shout and laugh]
[Group shouts and laughs]
Du vol-au-vent?
Bloody layabouts,
they make you
sick, don't they?
Jammy bastards!
Great boat, eh?
If principles don't
get into the way,
we'll have no problem,
uh, smuggling it out.
Ah, gracia.
Rick:
Carol.
They're trying to
smuggle something
out of the country,
and I think it's drugs.
[Speaks Greek]
So, what's the
bottom line?
Mr. Basil sharp!
[Whistles]
Well, basil,
you've always had an
eye for the real thing.
Then why are you paying such
a ridiculous price for it?
What do you mean?
I mean, $300,000
is an odd price
for the real thing.
Why not $500,000?
[Laughs]
He's not called
sharp for nothing.
Yes, of course,
it's worth a
great deal more.
A lot more on
fifth Avenue.
But we're not on
fifth Avenue, basil.
You don't realize
the beaches
and the payoffs
and the commissions on
the way back to New York.
Oh, yes. Mmm.
It's illegal to take
this vase out of Greece.
It's a part of their
national heritage.
I could get put
in jail for this.
I suppose you could.
And that's where
you come in, basil.
[Sniffs]
I want you to
say it's a fake.
Of course, it
may never happen.
But I have to,
uh, cover myself
and you're my insurance.
Sharpie,
what he means is,
I know it's an
enormous favor
to ask, but,
could you tell a lie?
Konstantinis:
What's the lie, katherina?
It is a lie. Shh, shh, shh.
Basil's word is gospel.
If he says it's a fake,
it's a fake! And
that's the beauty of it.
I told you he
was a crook.
Come on, basil.
This is business.
Does katherina
get her $300,000
or not?
Well,
I'd do a lot of
things for Katherine.
Of course it's a fake!
Anyone can see
it's a fake.
Would you sign a
letter to that effect?
Yes, I'll sign it.
If you'll pay
an extra 20,000
to Katherine.
What?
Pounds.
[Laughs]
Po-- you can't
be serious!
Pity.
[Katherine whispers]
Sharpie, no, what
are you doing?
No.
[Clears throat]
[Snaps fingers]
It's a deal.
Oh!
Eureka!
Let's celebrate.
Carol:
$300,000, Rick.
That's how much
she's getting for
an old Greek pot!
All paid into
a Panamanian
bank account.
That's where they
keep it these
days, in Panama.
Rick:Panama.
And it's tax-free.
All she's got to
do is smuggle it
out of the country.
I'd love to see it, Rick.
Why don't you ask
her? She likes you.
Rick:
Oh, come on, then.
Carol:
She does.
[Donkey brays]
She's quite beautiful.
I like her lips.
I like the way
she moves her lips.
Yeah, we've all
got lips, Rick.
Well, she's got
style, hasn't she?
Oh! Oh,
style, is it?
Hey, Benny!
Hi, I'll see you
at the bouzouki!
All right. Yee-hah!
Come on, move.
♪ Get them doggies moving ♪
...and he's comin'
around becher's
brook! Come on...
[Benny screams]
Carol:
"The mountains
look on marathon
"marathon looks
on the sea
"and musing there
an hour alone
"I dreamed that
Greece might
still be free"
Byron died for this
country, you know.
Byron was a
fart, wasn't he?
You don't know
what it means to
be romantic, Rick.
You'd never jump
off a cliff for me.
Look.
I've had a
butchers at that book
that yanni gave you.
I know a thing or 2
about your poet hero.
[Female tourists chatter]
Guide:
Come down here and we'll look
at these magnificent columns
which is part of
the ancient temple.
If you keep coming
down, you'll see the
tomb of theophilus.
Lord Byron was a drug
addict, sex maniac.
He had it off with
anything with a pulse.
Rick! Turkish tarts,
kid sisters,
little Greek
boys, even goats!
I don't believe that.
No, don't believe me!
Don't believe your
own husband!
Only lord
yanni now.
Look, look, it's a great
honor to be asked to
recite at the ceremony.
Even Anthony
Quinn's going
to be there.
Yeah, you're right,
Carol. I'm worthless.
I've got no red
streak in my hair.
I have no pot in Panama!
I'm just a boring
old pooh, Mr. Lamb!
Farewell!
Forever!
[Screams]
Help!
Rick:
I've got a hard-on.
I want to see it.
What?
I want to see
that vase, Rick!
[Sighs heavily]
[Greek music plays]
[Sings in Greek]
[Speaks Greek]
Lovely party,
Katherine.
Thanks, barnaby. Good!
Chloe, darling,
thank you very,
very much.
Did you find Patrick?
Yes, he wants
you to ask him.
Anyway, he's having his
own celebration tomorrow.
Oh, well, pashas
must have jewels.
Perfect.
Give me those.
Hello, Katherine!
Hello, Rick.
You look wonderful. I didn't
realize it was going to
be quite so special.
I should've changed.
Carol's over there.
Ooh!
[Laughs]
[Hiccups]
I had too much
taramasalata.
[Laughs]
Wh-what would you
like to call it?
The unknown tourist.
Chloe:
Too lucky!
6 and 4.
Basil!
Hello, dear boy.
Suits you,
the little red streak.
There was a call
for you, basil.
From London.
Very important.
Um, Mr. Thompson.
He's coming tomorrow
morning at 8:00.
So...
The "black spot"
has arrived.
Like in treasure island?
Sorry, Chloe.
I hope you can
come tomorrow.
It's the unveiling
of my monument.
I'll do my best.
[Loud chattering]
Katherina!
Have a dionysus'
delight, Mr. C.
Thanks.
That basil sharp is a
sentimental old fool.
He's insane!
How can the
British museum
give the Elgin marbles
back to the Greeks?
It's like giving--
giving Arizona back
to the apaches!
[Laughs]
I'm sorry.
I hardly touched it.
Katherine:
That's my niagara.
Porca miseria!
[Penelope, in Greek]
[Breathing heavily]
[In English]
Rick.
I've found it! What?
I've found
the pot, Rick.
Just wait, Carol,
will you?
I've found
Katherine's pot!
Lovely.
It's dripping on me.
[Flushes]
[Music plays]
Stay there, Rick.
It's very easy
to have style
if you've got
things like this.
Rick:
Don't, Carol!
$300,000, Rick!
Carol!
[Gasps]
Christ, you're out
of your fucking mind!
Jesus, you are
out of your mind!
Guest:
Is basil in here?
Um, uh, uh,
I think--i think
he's in the kitchen.
Fuss over nothing.
What are you
trying to do to me?
I cannot live
with this tension.
For Christ's sake,
watch what you're doing.
You are so bloody nosy.
There's no need to panic!
Bloody hell--
[gasps]
[Carol gasps]
Oh, my god!
Rick: Oh!
Oh!
[Thumps]
Carol!
Carol:
I feel funny.
Carol, you stupid bitch!
Sharpie?
Sharpie!
I am in such a
silly mood tonight.
I'm so relieved,
I love everybody.
Have a drink.
Thanks.
Mmm!
Look at the
moon. Look at
the moon, sharpie.
Look at the moon.
I could get up to some
real mischief tonight!
Now, Katherine, listen.
Come on down!
Come on down!
Oh, Katherine...
Let me go, Rick.
Oh!
Oh!
Konstantinis:
What is it? Does
she need a drink?
Yes, she's all right.
She's had quite enough
to drink, thank you.
Katherine:
Does she need a doctor?
No, I think
she's all right.
Caroline, my little lamb!
Push off, will ya?
She's my little lamb!
What have you
done to her?
I haven't done anything,
just leave her alone.
Rick, I'm going
to throw up!
Hey, put her down,
mate. Have a drink.
Sorry I can't give
you a hand, mate.
I've had an argument
with a donkey.
Katherine:
Ah, Penelope,
you've come!
[In Greek]
[In English]
Oh, thank you. Come
in. Yanni is dancing.
[In English]
Dancing!
I love my son, but,
he--he breaks my
heart like this.
He's not unlike
his father.
His father gave his
life for this country,
his blood for
this earth!
[Huffs]
Penelope, his father...
Died drunk,
falling off a
cliff, dancing.
He was a
great dancer.
Glue.
Rick: What?
You can stick anything
together these days.
Shut up, Carol.
What are we going to do?
I don't know.
If I can get
those pieces out,
we can make them
think it was stolen.
Rick.
Yup.
Rick.
What?
Turkey.
Hey?
They'll never
find US there.
Oh, shut up, Carol.
I've got to get
rid of the evidence.
Oh, Christ!
I hope it's not
too bloody late.
[Door opens]
I don't know what
you see in her lips.
I've got lips.
[Shuffling]
[Snores]
[Door opens]
Shit!
Rick.
You didn't tell me.
Uhh...
You didn't tell
me what you'd done!
No.
You mended the niagara!
Ahh--oh.
I love you!
You're a real man.
Mmm.
Katherine,
there's, uh...
Oh.
There's--there's
something I have
to tell you.
Let's go to the beach.
Let's go to the beach.
[Snores]
[Snores]
[Snores]
Let's get out of here!
Ah-- come. Come.
Yes.
[Rick laughs]
Katherine:
That way! Go that way!
[Laughs]
Rick:
Katherine!
Whoo! Whoo!
I've got to tell
you something.
I don't want to
know anything. Don't
be so serious!
I wanna be silly!
A fling with a zing!
[Laughs]
[Music plays]
[Musician sings in Greek]
Oopah!
Oopah!
Both:
Oopee!
[Laughs]
[In Greek]
[Sings in Greek]
[Music plays in background]
[Rick laughs]
Katherine: [In English]
It's wonderful!
It's great!
Oh!
Whoo!
Whoo!
Mmm!
Mmm!
Mmm!
Mmm!
Mmm!
Oh, Patrick!
Rick.
Ah!
Oh!
Oh, I can't
believe this!
Oh, Katherine!
Oh, Patrick,
I love you!
It's Rick. I
love you, too.
Oh, Patrick.
It's Rick.
Rick?
Yes.
I'm cold.
I'm cold.
I'm a bit drunk.
Where are my clothes?
I'm freezing!
[Shivers]
Oh, thank you.
Thank you.
I'll warm you up.
I've never felt
like this before!
Rick, I'm terribly sorry.
Don't be sorry.
This is the most...
It's the most fantastic
night of my life.
You're the most
wonderful woman
I've ever met!
No, I'm not.
Oh, yes, you
are, you're...
Oh, you're
the woman of
a lifetime.
No.
I have to go. What?
I have to go.
B-But...
I have to go. I do.
I'm terribly--
I'm very sorry.
I do.
Oh!
I have to go.Wait!
Shit.
Shit!
Shit! Shit!
Shit!
Rick!
Rick!
[Cat meows]
Where are you?
Patrick.
Patrick.
Patrick. [Moans]
Patrick,
I do need to
speak to you.
I want to know
something. Do
you love me?
Love you?
What time is it?
It's--it's late.
Do you love me,
or don't you?
Katherine, what is this?
Oh.
I'm sorry.
Do you love
me now?
[Sighs]
Yes, Katherine,
I love you.
Patrick, this is
important. Do you
really love me?
[Sighs]
Yes, I love you.
Love me? What else?
What does
that mean?
Excuse me.
Sorry.
Love, it's, um, it's
something to do with
the heart, isn't it?
What are you
going to do
about it?
Do?
What do you
want me to do?
Have our
3rd affair?
Get married again?
All right.
Okay, then. Now, for
Christ's sake, let
me get some sleep.
Good night.
Katherine:
Night.
[Locks door]
Katherine:
Patrick, your tap,
it's dripping.
Sharp:
"Far and few,
"far and few
"are the lands where
the jumblies live
"their heads are green
"and their hands are blue
"and they went
to sea in a sieve"
yanni!
What'll they do with
the 10th man, yanni?
Dear yanni.
Kind yanni.
No, no, Rick lamb.
I love you, yanni.
No.
You're so...
Sweet.
Thank you.
One of these days,
someone's going to
mistake me for me.
Come on, get up,
that's right.
Sharp:
They'll send me
to the land of
the chankly bore.
Dear yanni.
Rick:
I'm not yanni.
To the land of
the chankly bore!
Come on.
Come on.
I'm sorry, you know,
about our quarrel.
Katherine,
don't start again.
But we've got to
have it out. And I
do like your work.
I like it, in a gallery.
Putting up the unknown
tourist in the main
square of lindos is a joke.
What's wrong
with a joke?
It's not funny.
It's too true.
It's ironic, Katherine.
It's the way things are.
It's cynical.
Who's that girl,
by the way?
June.
June who?
Oh, I don't know.
You see?
People are all
the same to you,
aren't they?
You're too lazy to
really care about anyone.
And why did it have to
be me who has to come up
here and make up with you?
You said you never
wanted to talk to me
again in your life.
Those were your words.
But you know I
don't mean it.
You're too lazy to
do anything about it.
You said you hated
the unknown tourist.
Well, I hate it here
in the square.
It's yanni's
commercial wheeze.
All right, Katherine,
if you want to
have it out...
What about your book,
the light of Greece?
What about it?
There's not one
single photograph
of modern Greece
in it, not one.
It's as if beauty died
somewhere out there,
in the distant past.
You're as out of
date as your dear
friend basil sharp.
Keep basil out of it.
Out of it?
You can say that
again. He's missed
the last 2,000 years.
Is there anything
else, Patrick?
You sure you
want to hear this?
Yes, I do.
The light,
Katherine. Where is
the light of Greece?
I mean, this is
the light of Kodak!
If you can't see
the light, Patrick,
you must be blind
and you certainly
don't understand me.
[Shatters]
Patrick:
And if my work is
so offensive to you,
you certainly
don't understand me!
By the way,
if you need one, I
know a great plumber
who really
know how to use
a screwdriver.
[Door slams]
[Sings in Greek]
[In Greek]
[Sighs]
Carol: [In English]
Yanni, nobody but yanni.
Who cares if Anthony
Quinn doesn't come?
This is what matters!
[Laughs]
Caroline.
[Laughs]
It's your day
tomorrow!
Yanni:
Caroline.
Listen.
"The mountains
looked on Panama
"and Panama
looked on the sea..."
No, "marathon
looked on the sea"
yanni, I've done
something dreadful!
Shh.
[Sobs]
Shh.
Shh.
Caroline,
[groans]
Look at me.
I love you.
[Gasps]
[In Greek]
[In English]
Sharpie?
Ooh.
Hey.
Come on, baby.
Come on.
Come on, baby.
Come on.
Out we go,
come on. Move.
Come on.
Come on, baby.
Ooh.
What a night, sharpie.
[Moans]
You sleep it off.
I didn't mean
what I said.
You know
I like your book.
[Rooster crows]
[Goat bleats]
[Goat bleats]
[Donkey brays]
Sharp:
How about you?
Did you have
a silly time?
Oh, yes,
wonderfully silly.
With Patrick.
Oh.
I'm glad.
You seemed so
happy last night,
I hadn't the heart
to tell you,
but some rather
terrible things happened.
I'm afraid there
was a breakage.
I found it like this.
It can't be true!
Well, not quite true.
You see, it's a fake.
A fake?
My vase is a fake?
Exactly what I told
konstantinis it was.
I wasn't lying.
Very beautiful,
of course, and quite old.
Early 19th-century copy.
It's worth
sticking together,
I think.
Oh, my pot.
What happened? I mean,
who broke it, sharpie?
I don't know.
I found it
on the floor.
Katherine:
But I...
I locked it in the
cupboard, I think.
Didn't I?
There's something
else I have to tell you.
It's about me.
I'm the real fake
in this story.
They haven't named
me yet, but they will.
Today or tomorrow.
They'll call
me a traitor.
Some of the things
they've accused
me of are true.
I did pass secrets
to the Russians
during the war.
[Gasps]
[Whispers]
Are you a spy?
It's a shock
for you, I know.
You see,
when I was very young,
the communists seemed...
Well, they were
the only people
ready to organize
against fascism.
Are you-- are you
the 10th man?
[Rooster crows]
The 15th, I believe.
Oh, Katherine.
Try to understand.
Your generation has
been taught to think
that we were bound
to oppose the Nazis.
But you can't
possibly imagine
the apathy that there was
in england before the war.
Oh, yes, I
think I can.
In the Nazis, I
saw hell on earth.
It made me blind
about the communists.
Then, when the war ended,
with the atom bomb,
that was another
kind of hell.
Anyway, the past has
caught up with me.
And I'm ready
to pay for it.
[Donkey brays]
Sharpie, you
can't go to jail!
In a way, it'll
be a relief.
I can't bear it!
[Sobs]
I did tell you
it was a copy,
by the way, when
I gave it to you.
Though you
probably forgot.
The one thing
in my life
that I've never
consciously
lied about
was a work of art.
Though I suppose
I might have
done it for you.
But that's
because I
love you.
[Sniffs]
One can do
almost anything
for love.
[Vomits]
Well, well, what
do you know?
James "sharpie" bond.
And I thought he
was out of date.
Carol?
Carol!
Where's my gun?
It's not a gun,
Rick. It's a pot.
Look, my gun is gone!
Where's my fucking gun?
It's not a gun,
Rick. It's a pot.
Where's my gun?
What's that?
Oh, look, my jacket's
not even pressed!
I could lose my
bloody license
for this!
What license?
To kill!
Rick?
[Donkey brays]
Attendez.
Hello, basil.
[Sneezes]
Hello, Thompson.
Damned air
conditioning
on these planes.
Summer colds are the
worst, aren't they?
I've been expecting
this for years.
Jail might even
give me a chance
to finish my book.
A few friends
will visit me,
the ones that matter.
I don't think you
quite understand, basil.
Nobody wants to
put you in jail.
The fact is,
basil, nobody...
Oh, bless you.
...wants a public
enquiry at all.
We want you--want you--
want you to escape!
Escape.
Escape?
You are at the
Istanbul Hilton
for one night.
Then on Bulgarian
airways to Sofia.
Bulgarian airways?
We booked you in
at the vishota.
It's supposed to
be comfortable.
I expect the other
side will pick you
up from there.
But...
But I don't want
to live in Moscow.
Nobody does.
But somebody's got to.
Ah,
I'm David Locke.
Basil basilovich
next, I suppose.
Better for
everybody.
Ah, here's your
tour guide.
Mr. Lamb.
Are you all
right, lamb?
This is your
passenger,
David Locke.
He'll see you off,
help with the bags.
I think that's
everything.
Have a pleasant trip.
Right.
Tell me, Mr. Lamb,
did you know who I was,
the day you picked
US up on the beach?
No, sir.
Katherine will be as
surprised as I am.
Look, I'm sorry.
Well, no, I'm not
going to apologize!
You're a traitor!
You betrayed your
country! Now they're
letting you go scot-free.
You should
be hanged!
When will you
be coming to
collect the bags?
She know who you
are, does she?
Are you going to tell
her what a liar you are?
Oh!
Or am I going
to sweep
the dirty facts under
the carpet, like you?
Oh, don't worry.
I'll cover for you.
She's got
enough problems.
I would have
thought I
had a right
to know I was
married to a spy!
I'm not a spy.
I'm an agent.
They only sent me because
everybody else in the
department had flu.
Nail Polish.
What's the difference,
you both have to
lie, don't you?
He's a traitor, Carol.
Yes, but he's
covering up for
US, isn't he?
Despise me.
[Sighs]
Katherine's going
to despise me.
Oh, shut up, Rick.
You're spoiling
everything.
How am I supposed
to remember my lines?
Oh, my god,
I can't find
the nail Polish!
[Hums battle march]
[Sings in Greek]
[In Greek]
[Marching band plays]
[Sings in Greek]
[In English]
I left some letters in
my room, in the drawer.
One of them
is for yanni.
I was very fond
of him, you know.
Oh, sharpie...
5 minutes,
all right?
Yes, sir.
[In Greek]
[Crowd cheers]
[Drum roll]
Man:
It's Benny!
[Crowd gasps]
[Crowd cheers]
Benny:
Bloody hell!
Get away, go on!
I'm going, I'm going!
"The isles of Greece--"
man:
Give her a chance!
"The isles of Greece..."
[In Greek]
[In English]
"And musing there
"an hour alone
"I dreamed that Greece
"might still be free"
[gun fires]
[Crowd screams]
[Penelope, in Greek]
[Woman screams]
[Gun fires]
[Woman, in Greek]
[In Greek]
[In Greek]
[Band plays]
[In Greek]
Yanni: [In English]
Hold on.
[In Greek]
[Gun fires]
[In Greek]
[Woman screams]
[Yanni, in Greek]
Carol:
Yanni!
Yanni!
[In Greek]
[In English]
I'll give you statues!
I'll build the
biggest statue
in the world.
I'll rebuild the
colossus of rhodes.
Sharp:
I've got another vase
for you in London.
A genuine one.
But my word may
not count as it did.
I think the boat's
ready now, sir. Ah.
I didn't know it
was going to be him.
Nobody's accusing
you of anything.
But, I...
Well,
I suppose I mustn't
miss the boat.
And you mustn't miss
the unknown tourist.
We'll send you
lots of things!
Food parcels,
Christmas pudding.
It's the boat
at the end.
[Dog barks]
Ban the bomb.
Ban the bomb.
Take this.
I want you
to have it.
Katherine.
Chloe:
My jeans, sharpie!
They're worth
a fortune!
They don't have
them in Russia.
Oh, Chloe, really!
I don't need jeans.
Jeans!
Catch!
Take them off!
But I'm on duty!
You owe me a damn sight
more than a pair of jeans!
Now, give them to me!
Come on!
[Dog barks]
Unh!
Thank you.
Goodbye!
Bye, sharpie.
[Boat motor sounds]
I'll write to
you forever!
Chloe:
Bye!
Goodbye!
Opisthia!
Sharpie!
Opisthia,sharpie!
Opisthia!
I can't hear you.
Opisthia.
Your future's
behind you.
Did sharpie
tell you that?
Yep.
[Goat bleats]
Katherine:
"Dearest sharpie...
"You'll never guess
who ended up buying
your genuine pot.
"Konstantinis!
"Thanks to your help,
I still have my house.
"But my view from
the terrace
"is horribly empty
without you.
"If you think the
statues in Moscow
"are too heroic
for your taste,
"I wonder what you
would have thought
"of Patrick's
monument in Dallas.
"He was wonderfully
brave, though.
"He used the unveiling
to stub out his
last cigarette.
"Meanwhile, here in lindos,
"yanni seems
determined to
outdo everyone,
"to set his
stamp on the world.
"He's begun work on
what he says will be
"the biggest
statue in Greece.
"The new colossus of rhodes.
"So far, Penelope
seems to be taking
it in her stride.
"But one never
knows with her."
[In Greek]
[Laughs]
[Laughs hysterically]