He's a Woman, She's a Man (1994) - full transcript

"He's A Woman She's A Man"

I'm gonna getcha!

I can't hear anything

Tell me who's the most famous this year?

Who's our winner?

Let me tell you...

Ladies and gentlemen, the winner is...

Don't be nervous, let me announce,

The 1994 Best Female Artist...

- Rose.
- Is Rose!

Again? She must've bought the votes.



Let me shut your freakin' mouth.

- Thank you.
- Wait. She's talking.

Thank you, thank you.

I'm very honored to be up here
again for the third time.

I need to thank someone
who I owe everything to.

I'm sure you all know who he is.
It's my producer Sam Koo who's not here tonight.

Sam,I love you.

I love you, too.

You okay?

Can't sing anymore.
Can't even drink anymore.

I'm old, Sam.

Whatever, you're still my idol.

You're kidding? Your dad is our true idol.

Our band was jammin' back then.



1968. You were this small.

Good old days. Now everybody's
in stock market and real estate.

You're left to carry on our dream.

Didn't you have to get your award tonight?

Forget that! I only get to jam
with you guys once a month.

Finished puking? Peter's fighting
with his wife about emigration again.

I quit the band for you.
Now, let me have my way once.

- Why do you want to stay behind in Hong Kong?
- There's no hope if everyone leaves.

- What can you do here?
- You don't understand.

Sounds familiar.

Sam wrote this song for Peter
when he proposed to his wife.

The kid still remembers.

Used celebrity tissue paper on sale for only $200

Aaron Kwok's used tissue paper.

It's cheap, only $200!

Hey, how is the business?

Not bad.

You're early today.

Check it out! Celebrities' baby pictures for sale.

Tony Leung's slip! Tony Leung's slip.

Do you have Tony Leung's picture?

No. Try tomorrow.

Bobo, why are you way back here?

Chesty Lin took our spot.

EXCUSE me, EXCUSE me...

Chesty Lin, don't you know the rule?

Can't I show my cousin around?

If she's new, start from the back.

By the way, are you Rose's fan?

Just ignore her, May.

May? Sounds familiar.

I'm a fan of Leon Lai.

How dare a Leon's fan stands in our spot?

Okay. I don't care anyway.

Wouldn't you love me to just take you
to Rose and Sam's house?

I just went swimming with Rose and Sam yesterday.

We're such buddies!

That's bullshit.
They could care less about you.

Yeah, bullshit!

Rose, over here. Rose.

Sam!

What are you doing?

Wait.

Do me a favor.
My niece is a big fan of Rose.

Autograph? No problem.

That Peter's an idiot.

One minute he's bitching at his wife.

Fight, hug and kiss-fight, hug and kiss!

They're always like that

Fight, hug and kiss

What a big bouquet of roses.

For Rose.

You're allergic to roses.
How will you put up with it at home night and day?

Time for a change.

Your tire's gotta go. It's all bald.

- Can I pluck a stem for my wife?
- Help yourself.

Still going to the Coliseum?

No. Just a dinner for two with Rose.

Surprise!

Honey.

- You okay?
- I'm fine.

I thought it was just the two of us.

Since they all wanted to congratulate us,
why not get it over with tonight?

Congratulations, Mr. Koo.

You got eight awards.
One award more than last year.

Sam, you've got some ball!

Honey, I've got a pajama
ready for you in the room.

Wo, Mr Koo, you look cool!

Wow, honey.

You sure are brave putting on those duds!

You're the only one who
doesn't give a shit about awards.

- Sam.
- Hey, Joseph.

You've gotta help me, buddy.

- What's up?
- I've fired Tom.

You're kidding.

You're my next album's producer now.

Come on. Don't turn me down.

I don't know how.
You know I never do male artist.

I'll tell you a secret.

Do it as if I was a female.

Josephine, leave my man alone.

Hey, you said there wasn't anything going
on between you two.

What a goof.
Even has the nerve to pluck off my leaf!

Why don't you smack him out?

I did want to.

He's just lucky you showed up when you did.

Well, can't blame him.
You look totally sexy in that outfit.

Rose made me wear this.

I don't understand you and Rose.
Why splitting upstairs, downstairs?

Leaving this mysterious hole
as an exit to paradise.

Bet you haven't drilled
many holes lately now, have you?

Haven't done it for a while, huh?

Lately, your songs sound so deprived.

Funny, you're still sweeping the awards.

That's why I always wanted to go to Africa
for inspiration, like Paul Simon.

You can't leave Rose here.
She won't make it without you.

Now, that's the problem.

You two have an unhealthy relationship.

Just leave Rose alone and create a new artist.

That won't work.

Subconsciously, you know that once you
create a new protége'...

You'd fall in love with her and dump Rose.

Don't be ridiculous.

Ridiculous?

Remember Lily and Iris?
This is becoming a pattern.

Understand my heart, hoping to find the real love

I miss you, Siu-lan...

Mine was once broken from love...

Jessica, don't leave me, I love you, it's true.

To understand my heart

Hope to fine the real love.

Mine was once broken from love.

Must I awake from the sweet dream?

What are you, gay?

Hey, you guys got some golden voice.
Wanna be singers?

She's actually the one who's
dying to be a singer.

No, she just wanna be Rose.

That's impossible.
Her boobs are platter than the chopping board.

I'll be Sam. I'll make you famous.

You better shut up!

Rose and Sam are inseparable.

They will be together forever.

Jennifer, I will only love you.

Luckily, Rose and Sam have proven
that true love still exists in this world.

I only have one wish in life...

...To be a guardian angel and
protect them forever and ever.

What's so funny?

What's so impossible? Even Chesty Lin said
she's been to their house before.

I'm mad at you guys.

Gigi, I'll never lie to you.

Linda, you have sexy thighs.

Morning.

You put make-up on?

No.

Oh, it's a test on the new 24-hour make-up.

Pretty neat, huh?

I guess.

Going back to sleep?

Yes. I'm tired.

You're never used to be third in the morning.

Stop it!

Or I will beat you up.

No.

What's wrong?

Your breath stinks.

Sam Koo!

What?

Just say what's on your mind.
Don't use that kind of an excuse.

I know I have bad breath.

You didn't mind it back then.

And now you complain.

Still pretty when you're crying.

- What's wrong?
- My breath stinks.

Me too.

Mine even reeks.

Let's drop everything and go to Africa...

And feel the sun, the moon and the nature.

What about your music?

That's the whole point. I need new inspiration.

The gushing sound of the wind.
The rushing sound of the waves.

We can jam with the natives.

Wonderful!

But the sun's going to give me freckles.

Why don't we go to Vienna?
Isn't it the city of music?

You can get your inspiration.
And I can go shopping.

Last time I passed out this set of bags
because my luggage was full.

I'll have to get it this time.

Hey, where are you going?

To take a dump.

Mr Koo, there's a call for you from Japan.

- Does he look pissed?
- How did you know?

Just follow him.

He's going to say "goodbye"
after everybody says "good morning."

Good morning, Mr Koo.

Good bye.

Right...

His shoelaces are untied.
And he's not wearing any socks, right?

Yeah!

Now quickly get all the
portfolios of new artists into his office.

But he yells at me every time I do that.

Trust me. But this time also bring
some male artists' portfolios.

Who are you talking to?

He scolded you? Didn't he?

I am fine...

I say the person you pick to create from here
will definitely become the King or Queen of Pop.

She's pretty.

This one got a nice body.

Did God create Adam first because
he was afraid he'd fall for his female creation?

I want to create a man.

A very ordinary one.

Regardless of his look or his ability to sing.

I want to prove to millions of ordinary people out...

...there that there's hope for everyone.

It'll be the true miracle in the world of music.

Aaron Kwok's...

Come on, Leon Lai watches for sale!

Come on, Leon Lai watches for sale!

Aaron Kwok's underwear!

Do you want to steal my pictures?
Go if you are not buying.

You've got the photo
of Andy Lau in his red vest?

With wet look or dry look?

The wet one.

$5 extra for the wet look.

Ok

They're doing a talent search.

I'll have a chance to meet Rose and Sam.

Forget it. They're looking for male artist.

You're right.

What about you?

What do you mean?

I can disguise as a man.

With your big breasts?

Yeah, right, a man with bouncing boobs.

Shut up! And stop selling
in front of my shop again!

Like I care.

Wing.

What?

You have none of those things.
You can be a man.

Line up, one by one.

Slowly now!

Girlfriends go upstairs and wait.

Guys go upstairs,
turn right and pick up a number.

Watch the stairs.

Over there. Sign in and go upstairs.

Upstairs, turn right to get a number.

One by one.

Dum, dum, dum, miss you a bit...

I am longing for tomorrow, but sweet words remain.

Sir, you don't really need to do that.

Fate is unpredictable, fate is turbulent...

I am a little bird...

I want to fly, bull can't...

I am looking for, looking for warmth...

Is this demand too much?

I am a little bird...

I want to fly, but I can't make it too high.

Hey idiot, be careful! Does it have to be so tight?

Do you have to be so tight?
You know I don't really have a lot.

Well, not a lot. But still a bit.

I can't breathe.

My believe...

Give me a glass of water which makes me forget love.

Great!

Number 1126.

We'll sing "Summer of Love." Begin.

Please sing louder.

It's already loud.

When you listen to mime, don't use your ears.
Use your heart.

Hey! That was an off key.

Who will treasure...

this man who is easily hurt?

Thank you. That's fine now!

Perfect, that's enough.

What are you doing?

Great, you may go...

Mister, please leave now, thank you.

Great, it's great!

get up,

lunch break.

Hurry up.

I know the problem.

I don't look like a man
because you know I'm a woman.

I just have to tell them I'm a man.

Whatever.

My pants are loose.

I'm missing something here.

You're a woman.
You've got one less piece of meat.

Just stuff in something.

Can you find something? How about?

How about my turtle Bobby?

Turtle!

You wanna suffocate him?

Too slim.

Breakable.

Too sharp.

Wouldn't fit.

How about these glow-in-the-dark light sticks?

Just don't bite off the caps

Or else they'll light up!

Three sticks together. They shouldn't bend.

Give me a hand.

Men do not stand like that. Unless of course you're gay.

Men don't stand like that.

Michael Jackson stands like this.

Follow me. Spread your legs apart.
Put your hand in your pocket.

It'll drop.

Relax. I've tied it good.

Come on. Take a step.

Right...

Right leg first.

Right, left.

Scratch, scratch.

Ew! Disgusting.

We all scratch, because we all 'itch'!

Don't you get it?

- I really have to scratch?
- If you want to be a man.

Ok.

OK, right, left, ready.

Right, left.

Scratch.

Right,

Right. left. Scratch.

Not bad. Right. left. Scratch.

Is this okay?

No! Make it natural like a real man.

It's gonna drop.

Hurry up. Right. left. Scratch.

Is this better?

Whatever.

Gotta make a delivery.
Let's meet back in two hours.

Aren't you gonna stay with me?

You'll be fine.

I don't remember the lyrics.

Fate.

Fate is turbulent...

Perfect. Don't jump too much.

You know it is fake down there.

I'll see you in two hours.

Let's not do it anymore.

You'll be fine. Two hours, okay?

We're in trouble.

It's the last day.

Yes?

Yes.

Rose is throwing a fit in the studio.
Maybe you should go over.

She said the piece is too high for her.

Here.

Too high?

This is her key. Lower it a bit then.

Number 9036.

The last one now.

Yes.

Rose is furious now.

Tell her I'm busy.

Just go downstairs, turn left, make a right turn.

And go through the door.

Relax!

Rose...

Mr Koo is auditioning downstairs.

He says he doesn't want to be disturbed.

You know who you're talking to?

I know, sorry, Miss Rose.

The nerve!

But...

Just following orders

Get out of my way!

Sam Koo.

Have you had enough fun?

I'm not here having fun.
I'm auditioning.

Auditioning?

What's wrong with you, kid?

I'm happy...

Why?

Because you're here.

You're so beautiful.
And You're talking to me.

So you're auditioning with people like this?

I'm trying to audition ordinary people.

You've spent the past few months
auditioning 9000 ordinary people.

Why haven't you found one?
They all could fly or something.

Now this is an ordinary people.

You know how to sing, right?

Don't be shy. Sing now.

Ordinary person.

Sing.

Fate is unpredictable...

Fate is turbulent, even if fate...

is threatening the fun out of life...

don't cry and don't give up.

I forgot the lyrics.

Wonderful!

Isn't this what you wanted?

Is this person is still not ordinary enough,

then you should slap yourself in the face.

Let's sign him up.

Are you really?

The heaven has opened.

Remember what they've promised, kid.

If he changes his word, I'll be your witness.

We'll sue his ass off.

Mr. Producer.

Good luck.

Kid, look me in the eyes.

You gay?

- Sorry.
- What a question!

There's nothing wrong with that.

I'm not gay.

Is his look trendy now or something?

Not really,

but he's ordinary in a special kind of way.

Special?

He's going to be perfect!
Universal look. Both sexes will buy this.

Where were you when I was younger?

What's your name again?

Wing Lam.

Even name sounds like a pop star.
We'll keep it.

Wing, do a couple of turn.

That's fine. Stand straight.

Head up.

And point your finger upwards.

Which one?

Doesn't matter.

Turn around.

Jump.

No need to point when you jump.

Sit down.

May I put my head down now?

Of course.

Got some potential.

Kinda skinny.

Sorry, gotta go to the restroom.

He'll be perfect. Need help?

Come, Fishball!

What?

Fishball, I think it's gonna fall off.

Sure.

Should have used tape instead of rope

Hurry up and tie it!

Don't move!

It's failing.

You're moving, how can I fix it then?

It hurts, man! Don't pull.

I've got to straighten it.

Don't move!

It's popping out.

It's hard. It's supposed to pop out.
How do you feel now?

Loosen it up a bit.

Better?

Forget it. Let's do it at home.

You wanted to do it here in the first place.

You really think that he has a potential?

Trust me.

But Auntie, I think he's lacking...

something even as a newcomer.

But I think he lacks something.

Don't be silly. No one is a natural star.

All these people here were nothing
if you didn't fix their voice in the studio.

- Packaging is everything.
- The bizarre zarong and skinhead...

- They're all from me.
- And the public eats it up.

So it's not about how good she is.

It's about how good we are.

Trust me. Just sign him.

What are you waiting for?

I don't want you to regret.

Mr Koo never regrets.
If you don't sign now, you'll be the one to regret.

Let's make this clear.

It's you who chose me.

What did you say?

Forget it.

OK. It's a deal.

When will I have my fan club?

One two three four five six seven eight.

A-E-I-O-U.

Mouth right, mouth left. Mouth up, mouth down.

Open wide. Sing with passion.

Up, down.

Use your diaphragm.

Mr Koo...

I'm sorry, but Miss Rose's friend
parked on your spot.

Hello.

Please tell your friend
to back the car out from my spot.

Just for a night, Sam.

Hey, Roger!

It's Roger! That creep?

It's his birthday.

Big deal. So the birthday boy
can have my spot and sleep with you?

Let's drink. Tell your friend to wish me
"Happy Birthday."

Sorry, but you've got to park at the meter. Bye.

Wait!

He got drunk and wouldn't leave.
Can you help me bring him out to his car?

Please.

Your buddy has two birthdays.

You're mad?

Well, didn't you say we should have freedom
as long as we're not married?

I did that to spite you.

Use that jerk to spite me?

Hows your 'ordinary' star coming along?

He sings with heart.

Heart?

Do I sing with heart?

It's your floor. Good night.

I want to sleep at your place tonight.

No.

Why?

I've got to stay up and work.

I like it when you stay up.

No, I can't.

Come on.

It's been a longtime,

Sam.
It's been three days.

What's that?

What's going on?

What's going on?

The lift is stuck.

Oh, buck! Again?

It's your fault.

I never wanted to live in highrise.

- Calm down.
- Open the god damn doors.

$4000 a month management fee.
And your elevator doesn't even work.

Shit! Fuck you!

I want to know you more
since I'm starting to write you some songs.

I think it will help our songs.

Custom made? Cool!

How old were you when you first fell in love?

A manly man like me don't remember petty thing.

When did you lose your virginity?

Your questions are so x-rated.

Still a virgin?

Come on. No one's a virgin these days.

So who was it?

I got really drunk and woke up
with this girl next to me.

How can I know you if
you keep on lying to me?

Then just know me the way I am now.

All I know is your name.

That's not enough.

I have two idols.

Who are they?

You and Rose.
When are you guys going to get married?

Who told you I was going to get married?

Magazine and newspaper.

You've been together for such a long time.

You guys are like a dream couple.

You were born on Nov. 28.

She was born on July 25.

Sagittarius and Leo are compatible.

What else do you know?

The only child of the bandleader Ching Duk Koo.
You were influenced by him.

After high school, you studied music in the U.S.

You came back in 1985 unemployed.

Your first job was playing piano in the hotel.

You go to the Fringe Club every first Saturday
of the month to jam with the old timers.

Yes, it's me.

Again?

Okay, we'll talk later. Sorry.

Who was that?

You're pretty nosy, aren't you?

Wanna nose around at my apartment?

Sure!

More and more every time, Mr Koo.

Sorry about this.

Thank you.

Make sure you fix the elevator.

It's not too reliable these days.

Someone could die of heart attack in there.

OK.

What kind of moving company is this?

Your idol.

Miss Rose.

Great! I thought I'd lost it.

Aren't you two living together?

Maybe you should tell the tabloids
that she actually lives downstairs.

Good idea. You don't officially live together,

but can see each other anytime.

Cool!

Why is Rose moving out?

It's her game. Happens all the time.

Please don't break up!

Women like to give men hard time.

You're a male pig!
Do you fight with her all the time?

WOW!

You compose on this piano?

No,

I usually compose in the toilet.

You play piano?

Of course.

Anybody home?

It's from my dad's old place.

It's fake.

I knew that.
Don't you have some sense of humor?

Trash can.

A note from Rose to you with a lipstick mark.

Why throw away such a romantic thing?

It's just a note.

What's so romantic?

Can I have it?

Sure.

Don't mind me.

Why don't you go apologize to Rose?

Why should I?

A woman needs to be pampered.

This is your duty and her weakness.

What un...?

Un is short for understand. Generation gap!

Which side does she sleep on?

Should I tell you what we do here too?

That's okay. I un...

Can you get out, please?

Which toothpaste is yours?

Which is Rose's?

There's a difference?

Of course.

Rose's will go up to $1000 in the street.

Your probably worth 3 hundred.

You're so greedy.
Hocking all my belongings here.

I've gotta go.

You rich man don't understand
our living condition.

Where do you live?

Near airport.

Planes soar above us all the time.

Rats and cockroaches.

And Mr landlord always peep when I shower.

At you?

He's a pervert.

Why don't you move?

To your place? Good idea.

You'll get to know me. I can clean your house.

Deal! Thank you.

I'll be here tomorrow at 7am.

There's more stuff.

Good morning, sir. Coffee.

Looks good.

I used to play the cook when I was a kid.

Playhouse?

All the neighborhood kids were girls.

So I always played house growing up.

No wonder you look so feminine.

- What?
- Nothing.

Good morning.

I'll be right here.

Sir, what more can I do for you?

I've got to go to the studio.

Come by later, okay?

Yes, I'm recording a song with Rose today!

Have you apologized yet?

By the way,

there are some rules in this house.

If it's none of your business,

keep out of it.

Because I love peace and quiet.

Un. Un.

Didn't have to be mad.

Hello.

Yes.

She didn't say.

Okay. Bye.

Mr Koo again. He wants you in for a recording.

I'm not his dog.

Let him wait.

Cockroach!

Came along for a free ride?

You hitch-hiking cockroach!

Cockroach.

Help me! Help me!

Don't panic, I'll get it for you.

It's on your arm!

What's the matter?

Don't move.

Help me! Help me!

Don't move, I'll kill it for you.

You...!

What's the matter?

Cockroach!

Are the guts and shit still sticking to your hair?

I've got two more bottles of shampoo.

I'm okay now.
How could you do that to me?

Sorry. It was a reflex.

What's so funny?

Can't help it. You look so funny.

I'll let you go.

You're my idol.

Who came up with this
fantastic secret hole idea?

Sam insisted.

Sometimes I lock it.

Good. That's a proper lady should do.

You've got such a good skin.

Why cover it with thick make-up?

Like in the "Love You for Life" video,

you looked sexy, in that white chiffon dress,
showing your voluptuous body.

You dirty young man.

I've been a number one fan.

Since your debut album.

Don't worry. I don't want anything from you.

I'm just a secret admirer.

I understand.

Shit! What time is it? I've got a recording.

Is Wing here yet?

He's recording.

By himself?

No,with Rose.

At the end, I want lasers point on him.

And he kisses the girl.

No kissing!

Kissing isn't good for the image of a newcomer.

I missed you so much.

Me too!

I've got something for you.

Let me give you a smooch first.

Ten glow-in-the-dark sticks with heavy duty tape.

This brand hurts when I peel.

But it's cheaper.

What's going on?

His lover came to visit him. He's gay you know.

- How do you know it's his lover?
- I overheard them in the bathroom...

Rub this on your face,

it'll grow some facial hair.

No wonder he didn't want
to kiss the girl in the video.

He was flirting with me too.

Don't be so nice to me.

You're always supportive of me.

I'm your number one fan.

You've always been my idol
since elementary school.

Mr Koo careful when you go to sleep tonight.

Wear an extra pair of boxer shorts.

I'm riding a bicycle to China, Mongolia...

Wing!

Come for a pit stop.

Everybody has his own little secret.

I totally respect your privacy.

But I suspect...

Well, let's be honest.

What do you suspect?

Are you... um...

...you know.

What?

Let's say everybody has his own rule.

Some people are not as open-minded as I am.

Don't get me wrong.
I don't discriminate against this at all.

What are you trying to say?

Are you gay?

No.

No?

I look feminine.

But I'm a 100% man.

Whatever, I just want you to know that this industry
is not as open-minded as it looks.

This will affect your career.
So you should be really discreet.

Some are still quite homophobic.

I swear I'm not gay.

That's okay. No need to swear.

Can I go to bed now?

Good night.

Wait.l really want you to know that
I have nothing against... you know.

Hey, my lock is broken.

Yours too? What a coincidence.

No, mine's like a safe, can't even break it open.

You won't get into my room
at night to talk again, will you?

No, I hate people disturbing me at night.

I would really fix him up.

Good night.

Kidding?

I've booked it two days ago...

Sorry, it's all booked up.

There's a big, big party.

This restaurant isn't doing so well, eh?

I reserved the whole place.

This meal is my apology to you
for hitting you the other day.

Cheers.

I thought you like red wine like Sam.

Actually, we don't really have a lot in common.

I've said too much again.

Sam always says people can
read me like an open book.

I'm easily read.

Tell me more.

Sam is a perfectionist.

Women get intimidated by him.

But I'm really lucky to have him.

Without him,

I would still be singing in bars.

I owe him too much.

But you've worked hard too.

Your style on stage is totally captivating.

I never dreamed that I would know you.

Let alone singing with you.

The first time I met you,

Is it still pounding now?

You smell so nice.

Really?

Excuse us.

And your waist is so curvy.

Really?

Excuse us.

Who's that?

Who took the picture?

Is it gonna be on the paper?

Who cares? Maybe Sam will get jealous.

Are they gonna sell it?

You smell so nice.

Really?

Make yourself at home.

I'm going to change.

Why are you staring at me like that?

You're so beautiful.

You naughty boy, such a sweet talker.

Can I touch?

Ever since I was a kid,
I always wonder how...

Having big boobs will feel like.

No.

Help me first.

What's the rush!

I asked you to zip not to unzip.

Sorry, I was too overwhelmed.

Well, since it was already unzipped,
why did you zip it up again?

I want to...

What?

Say it.

I want Sam and you to get married.

This is my wish.

Did I say something wrong?

You're nuts.

The whole night you kept on
saying you like me and now...

You're really my idol!

Are you gay?

No.

Everybody says you are.

Admit it.

Don't pressure me.

If you are not gay,

how come you are not turned on by me?

I better leave.

All I want is a 'Yes' or 'No' answer.

I can't go to sleep
if you don't tell me the truth.

I'll keep it a secret.

Yes.

What a waste, you are such a pretty boy.
How did this happen?

It's not by choice.

Were you influenced?

Sorta.

You must have been sexually
abused as a kid, right?

Not really.

You were dumped by a girl.

So you turned to guys.

Don't ask me anymore.

Have you tried a real woman before?

You wanted to touch, right?

Wow! It really feels good.

See?

Sorry, I don't like women.

You've gotta try first to know.

I've straightened some gay friends before.

I belong to the unstraightenable kind.

It's rough in the beginning. But...

You don't get it!

Get what?

You don't understand.

Let's try brandy with eggs.
It'll activate your male hormones.

- I don't drink.
- Then pretend that I'm a guy with the lights off.

Can't pretend with your boobs and all.

You've gotta try first to know.

Try sleeping with me.

No.

I'll help you.

Where are you going? Don't go.

Let's sleep.

Let's sleep together for a while.

It's hurts!

Please don't force me.

Give me some time, okay?

Whatever you want.

Don't worry.
I won't tell anyone and be discreet.

If I'm still gay,

will you be my friend?

I won't.

But... I will treat you like a sister.

Rose, you're so understanding.

Of course.

Good night.

Good night.

That kid really stab you
in the back with that photo.

Relax, there's nothing going to between them.

Wing is really gay.

I told you so.

I should talk to him
before he ruins his own career.

I want this, this, this and this.

See, you can't force this kind of thing.

Why so scared?

I don't know why you are
so scared of that skinny Wing.

You guys don't understand us.
Yes, we prefer men.

We'll touch the thing that we like.

If it clicks, we'll follow the slogan, "Just do it."

If there's no reaction, we'd go

"Too many man. Don't waste my time."

I suggest, rather than locking your door,

leave it open.

Because the problem is not that Wing is gay.

But if you're actually straight.

What's it?

Fan mail.

A love letter.

But it's from a male fan.

What's going on, huh?

Again? Open the damned doors!

Calm down!

$4000 a month!

You stuck me in the elevator half of the time!

Calm down!

I'm claustrophobic!

Don't overreact! Shut up!

I've got some lights. Don't be afraid.

Why did you carry those?

I'm afraid of the darktoo,

so I always have some handy.

To deal with the situation,
I do some tongue- twister,

Mandonna & Maradona are
at the McDonnell Road's McDonald.

Try it.

Madonna and Maradona are at...

No, slowly.

Madonna & Maradona are
at the McDonnell Road's McDonald.

Again.

Madonna & Maradona are at the
McDonnell Road's McDonald.

Good.

Madonna & Maradona are at the
McDonnell Road's McDonald.

Stand up.

Madonna & Maradona are at the
McDonnell Road's McDonald.

See?

Madonna & Maradona are at the
McDonnell Road's McDonald.

Yeah.

One more time.

Madonna & Maradona are at the
McDonnell Road's McDonald.

Not bad.

Let's Play-

Hurry up.

It's my turn.

Give me what I want.

Yeah, a birdie!

No way!

Yeah, a birdie!

Someone's coming.

Hurry up!

Hi.

Shit! Where's my birdie now?

Hurry up...

It's great.

Nuts.

Wonderful!

What's this?

My new song.

This four notes is
a product of four years in the toilet.

Play it again.

Was it right?

You're so good.

All my life I've reached for the stars.

Then I ask who means the most this minute?

I would say it's you I cannot live without.

When fame and fortune become illusions,

I ask, what is life all about?

I would say living for love is still
my true vocation.

The search of my life.

Makes winning and losing of no importance,

You're the search of my life.

Ending the storm with fire and passion.

Running and searching.

Trying to keep up with
every second of my life,

It's funny to find you were
all that I was looking for!

Running and searching.

For all the basic needs of my life,

When all along you have always been here.

Making sense in the simplest things of my life!

Is Rose the woman in the song?

I haven't found this woman yet.

Your heart's beating fast.

I gotta pee.

Horoscope says Leo
has to wear red this week.

I've gained weight.

I don't think so.

I bought this mirror because it makes me
look thinner and have more confidence.

That's cheating with yourself.

Such is human nature!

You wore this dress

during your music special in Greece.

I like the dress you appeared as a guest
on Alan Tam's concert 4 years ago.

That's the night I fell in love with you.

If only Sam would give me
your kind of attention...

Of course, he would.
He loves you a lot.

I know how much he loves me.

Isn't this card pretty?

Sam made this himself
the first year we were dating.

I love you!

He never actually says it.

Men don't say things like that.

Every time we fight,

I would open this card.

But I dare not open it too long.

Because I know one day the music will die.

Lately, he's been saying that he wants to find
an ordinary person to lead a simple life.

That's why he's so fond of you.

Me.

Thank God you were not a woman.

Rose, you can be an ordinary person too.

I don't think so...

not anymore.

Ever since you got here,
he's become very happy.

He's more productive.

I can even hear the piano again.

I've become a witch.

I've ruined the fairytale romance of Sam and Rose.

You think he likes you?

Rose said he wanted an ordinary person.

But there are tons of
ordinary people in the world.

That's true. And moreover, I'm a man.

But you're a woman.

He doesn't know that.

Then tell Sam she's a woman.

You don't get it!

I don't get it myself.

Too complicated.

What is?

Nothing. They're just teaching me
the morals of life.

Which one is smarter?

I am. He's stupid.

Hi.

Hi.

Is this right?

Sam said he's got a lot of music
inspiration since you've arrived.

Me?

Yes,thanks a lot.

Have you ever woke up with no schedule nor plan,
not knowing what you should do next?

That happens to me every morning.

Let's go cross-country. Open a map
and randomly pick a location to go.

I don't read map.

He's that stupid?

Yeah, always.

Okay, without a map will be more exciting.

We'll only stop when we're hungry.

Cool! I can't resist the hunger.

Crocodile steak with ants salad.

Sam said four of us should drop
everything and go to Africa.

With me?

Yes, but after you've become a successful artist
because you'll need inspiration too.

I'll drive till sun down.

Climb a tree and sleep.

And wait till a giraffe wakes me with a lick.

We'll eat fruits like monkeys.

Look! It's Dumbo, the flying elephant!

Elephant can't fly.

Who told you?

If there's a river,

an elephant will fly across.

Really wanna take me with you?

Of course. I think you'll make a great travel companion.

You're crazy, imaginative,

nosy, stuck-up, funny...

Would be perfect if you were a woman.

You can treat her like a woman.

The world is not perfect.

But it's good enough to have a friend like you.

Do I really have so many good points?

No one ever told you that?

You're the first.

Good night.

I want it now.

Are you crazy?

What?

How are you?

Nothing. Carry on please.

What was that?

Sorry. Sorry.

I'm attracted to men?

I've always liked women.

Never disliked them.

Silly boy, not all gays are born gay.

There are "junior gays"

who always know they're gay.

"Senior guys" are those who find out
slowly as they grow older.

I didn't know until I was thirty something.

That late?

Yeah, I only found out last year that I like men.

You know Charles, don't you?

Hi.

Hi.

But is it possible for you to like a man...
even you're not gay?

I mean in a platonic and spiritual way.

Well, do you wanna kiss him?

Why not combine spiritual
and physical together?

Hush up!

None of your business, girl.

Give me a way out.

I'll give you the way in.

You can do it.

- Come back soon.
- Come back soon.

What's the matter with you guys?

I'll be gone for only three days.

The landlady ran away for a week.

Her husband didn't ever care.

The shop next door was looted.

Luckily, nobody died.

It was on the news.

You've been ironing since I came back.

I'm horny.

You capable of that?

Every time he looks at me,

my body goes numb.

Sam?

Every time our bodies touch,

my heart pounds so fast.

His heart or your heart?

Both. But in different beats.

Then my palms sweat.

And my throat becomes very dry.

Then there's a heat running
from my head down to you-know-what.

Is that horniness?

How would I know? I'm not a girl.

You're useless!

Why don't you help me
get rid of my... you know.

What?

You know I've never done it before.

If you help me,

I can be a real woman.

You're nuts!

It's not a trash bag you know!

Since I know I can't be with him forever...

lf I give my virginity to him first,

I'll not be able to forget him.

Then don't give it to him.

But I'm exploding any moment now.

So I have to give ii to any idiot first.

Who's the unfortunate guy?

You.

After you, then Sam.

This way I won't feel hurt.

What about me?
Do I look like a trash can to you?

Wanna give it to him, but not all of it.

So give it to me first.
Then run over and give the rest to him.

Some to him. Some to me.

Don't want it? Fine then!

I'll give it to the landlord.

Go.

Let's go home to sleep.
I'm getting flea bites.

If you go home,

you're gonna lose your wee-wee.

Let's just go to sleep.

What do you want?

We can't.

Yes,we can.

I'm a man.

Me too.

I can't... I can't!

I'm sorry.

You're not a woman.

I...

I'm a woman.

- You didn't get any tan from Singapore.
- Yes, I did.

Wanna roll down the window to get more tan?

No need.

No?

Is the window working?

Where's Mr Koo?

Where's Mr Koo?

Where's Mr Koo?

So three days in Singapore, huh...

Disappeared.
Haven't seen for three days.

Hi,Wing.

Why are you all packed?

I'm leaving.

Sam disappeared. Now you're leaving.

What's going on?

Why are you crying?

Tell me.

I've wronged you, Rose.

What are you saying?

I won't be angry. Come on, tell me.

I've fallen in love with Mr Koo.

A lot of people love him.

But it's impossible.

You're gay, but he's not.

He's homophobic.

Did you come on to him?

No.

He came on to you?

No.

You two fooled around?

No.

Impossible! He musfve been drunk.

There are so many men around.

Why did you mess around with mine?

And I treated you like a sister.

You said you won't be angry.

Wake up.

You've gone insane.

He only likes women.

Real women.

I'm a real woman.

Your kind are so stubborn.

What's woman?

Breasts is woman.

Do you have it?
Do you? Do...

I have a little bit too.

Hold me.

Nothing happened.

He ran off and didn't come back.

You can go now.

I won't tell this to anyone.

But give me a promise.

That you will never see Sam again.

I'm very selfish.

I can't live without him.

Rose.

I beg you.

Don't let him find you.

Please.

Does it mean that if I leave...

You two will forever be together
and love each other?

We will.

Miss Rose?

You've disappeared for so many days.

Did you know the whole world was looking for you?

Have they found me?

What do you think?

Of course not.

Let me know if they have,

because I haven't even found myself yet.

I found out about everything.

Did you know Wing was like a sister to me?

You're too much into your work.

You thought that he was me.

Remember when you first created me?

You were nice to me too.

But Wing is a boy.

I'll postpone my concert.

We can go to Europe.

We can be like before.

I don't think we can.

That bitch.

I always treated him like a sister.

He's gone, Sam.
He'll never come back.

It's not Wing. It's us.

No! We're the perfect couple.

We're born to be together.

I created this fantasy.

It's a dream.

We're deceiving the world and ourselves.

I don't get it.

When you wake up you'll know that we can't
be together. We have nothing in common.

You just wanna get rid of me.
You love him.

I never touched him. I'm not gay.

Do you love him?

Sam...Sam.

Sorry.

Ladies and Gentlemen,

the 1995 Best Female Artist is...

Thank you everybody. Thank you.

Thank you.

I'm very happy to be here for the fourth time.

I need to make an important announcement.

Concert?

No.

Marriage? Of course not.

To all eligible bachelors...

You've got hope.

Because Sam and I..

Are separated.

But I still need to thank Sam.

Thank you for turning
an ordinary flower into a rose.

For teaching me so manythings.

Music, life and love.

Because of you,

I realize for the first time...

That I can stand here alone
and face the challenge.

Whether it will be a success or a failure,

I will face it with confidence.

Sam, I won't let you down.

I will get this award for the fifth time.

I love you, Sam.

Forever.

What's wrong?

You won't understand.

Tell me.

I've ruined Rose and Sam.

I understand.

You can cry.

Let it all out.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

Cheers.

Roes is great, way to go girl!

I can't help.

Wonderful.

Can I have a puff?

Look.

She enjoys so much.

You haven't smoked in ages?

It's been too long, huh?

Hasn't dragged it this long in ages

Enjoy the Party.

Hi.

Thank you. You're so pretty tonight.

Long time no see.

Bored?

For you.

Africa?

Don't you have to do a concert in China?

Did I say I was going with you?

Impossible.

I don't think I can go back to lead a simple life...

and be your ordinary girl.

Last sentence in fairy tales is always...

"And they live happily ever after."

At last, we can be like that.

Because we'll be friends forever...

Right?

Forever.

Two hours. You're still crying?

You don't understand.

What don't I understand?

After I heard that Rose and Sam are separated...

I'm so happy.

Oh...l understand now. Wanna be happier?

How?

Right, left, right, left.

Scratch again?

Only if you're itchy.

Right, left, right, left.

Now run faster.

Do you see a man's shadow?

Yeah,I see landlord.

No.

It's Sam! Hi, Sam!

You're teasing me?

Look. There.

Use your imagination.

Sam,hi.

OK, come on.

Sam,hi.

Are you happier?

Yeah!

Sam

Now Sam gets bigger.

How come?

You know...

You're running closer to him.
The closer you are the bigger he is.

Right.

- Hi, Sam.
- Faster.

Hey, go for him!

Hurry up. Go.

Wait.

What?

You can't go like this.

You have to be a woman this time.

Woman?

Perfect.

Go.

Taxi!

Gotta find a bike.

Carry on.

This is none of my fucking business.

None of my business.

I'm a woman.

I'm a woman.

You don't believe me?

Whatever you are,

I know I love you.

The lift stuck again!

Who cares?