Here Comes Trouble (1948) - full transcript

[MUSIC PLAYING]

-Mr. Blake, your campaign
against the underworld

is finally getting some results.

-Yeah?

-Rankin and Spinelli want
to see you this afternoon.

-Oh, good.

Call Martin Stafford
and have him come over.

I want my lawyer here when
I talk to those crooks.

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

-Come in.

-Get yourself another
police reporter, boss.



I'm leaving.

-Don't tell me they've
scared you off too.

-I didn't get this from fright.

And when I came to, this
was stuffed in my hand,

"Get out of town."

I'm taking the hint.

-There goes our fourth police
reporter in six months.

-I'll show them they
can't intimidate me.

That's all, Dexter.

-Oh, your daughter called.

-Yeah?

-She asked me to tell you
not to forget that Doubleday

is reporting back to work today.

-Forget it?



That's all I've heard about at
home, ever since he wrote her

he was getting out of the Army.

-She also said to remind
you about giving him

that promotion.

-It's beyond me.

She could have
her pick of dozens

of fine young man in her
own social set, but no.

She has to throw herself
away on a insignificant copy

boy like Doubleday.

-That's what's known as love.

-You mean insanity.

If I don't promote him,
I'll get no peace at home.

I'll promote him, Dexter.

We need a new police reporter.

-Take it easy, chief.

That's a pretty rough assignment
for a nice kid like Doubleday.

Why that mob would run him out
of town in a couple of days.

-That's what I say, Dexter.

We've got a new police reporter.

-Oh, you don't know how swell
it is being home and seeing you

again and having my old job
on the paper waiting for me.

-I've got a surprise for you.

You're not going back to
any old job as a copy boy.

Why, we could never get
married on that salary.

I made Daddy promise to
give you a promotion.

-Oh, you shouldn't
have done that.

Businessmen resent
that sort of thing.

He's-- he's doing enough
just taking me back.

-I love you for being
so modest, but that's

not the right
approach with Daddy.

The way to impress him
is to assert yourself.

-I don't know, but I'll try.

-Remember that snapshot
you sent me from Naiti?

-Oh.

One of the boys asked
me to pose for it.

-Well, I-- I had it
enlarged and framed

for you to-- to give to Daddy
as a present when you report.

-Pretty big, isn't it?

I-- I appreciate you doing
it, Penny, but wh-- what's

your father going to think
when I give that to him?

-Don't you worry about that.

It's part of my plan to remind
him you're back on the job.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[LAUGHTER]

-Well, well, if it
isn't Doubleday,

the wonder boy, goes to war
a mouse, comes home a wolf.

Hey, sister?

Oh, hello, Miss Blake.

-Goodbye.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

-Oh, Dodo, you forgot
your present for Daddy.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

-To our readers, I make
this pledge, vice must go.

Uh, to the underworld,
I say this--

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

-Come in-- you
cannot intimidate me.

I mean this fight to the finish.

I'm not afraid of--

[ARMY MUSIC]

-Do you like it, Mr. Blake?

-What is it?

-Why, it's me, sir.

A little present for you as
a token of my appreciation

for taking me back on the paper.

-[CHUCKLES] Well, thanks.

Uh, it actually-- er,
uh, take care of this.

It'll be a pleasure
to hang Doubleday.

Son, you've come
back just in time

to do this paper
a great service.

-I have?

-Boy, I need help in my
campaign to clean up this city.

I need a man with brains,
courage, resourcefulness.

-You do?

-Look at this
beautiful town of ours

being undermined
by organized crime.

The man that ferrets it out will
be our public hero number one.

That's the chance
I'm giving you.

-Me?

-That's your new assignment.

I'm promoting you
to police reporter.

-Police reporter.

Oh, thank you, sir.

--[CHUCKLES] And the sooner you
let that gang of hoodlums down

there know that
you're on the job,

the better I'm gonna like it.

-Wh-- wh-- when do I start?

-Right away.

Go down to police headquarters
and see what you can dig up.

-Yes, sir!

-Well, come on.

Hop to it.

-Oh.

Well, goodbye.

-Goodbye.

-And good luck.

-Oh, thank you, Miss Dexter.

And thank you, sir, for
this wonderful opportunity.

-Don't come back until you've
got some real evidence.

Understand?

-Yes, sir.

-Here.

--[EMBARRASSED LAUGH]
Goodbye, sir.

-Goodbye.

[LAUGHS] Well, I
think that's the last

we'll see of Doubleday.

[CHUCKLES] Wh--

[ARMY MUSIC]

-Dexter, remind me
to cut your salary.

-Hey, fellas.

I've just been promoted.

I'm a full-fledged reporter now.

-Congratulations.

Gee, Doubleday, that's swell.

-Oh.

-Nice going, kid.

-Well, thanks a lot,
gang, but I have

to report at police
headquarters right away.

-Wait-- wa-- wait a minute.

That hat.

-Oh, it's brand new.

Don't you like it?

-That's what I mean.

There, that's better.

-I thought it looked
pretty good on me.

-Yeah.

Now you're beginning to
look like a reporter.

-Oh, thanks.

You really think so?

-Certainly do.

-That tie, I don't like it.

-Too loud?

-Nope, too long.

Besides, all cub
reporters wear old ties.

-They do?

-Yeah!

-[SQUEAKY COUGH]

-And all reporters smoke cigars.

These are for the boys
down at the station.

Put ya in solid.

And this is for you.

Now you look like
the real McCoy.

--[COUGHING] Thanks
a lot, everybody,

but now I really must be going.

-Just a minute.

Freddy's gotta take
your picture first.

-M-- my picture?

W-- what for?

-For the front page tomorrow.

You know, "Copy Boy Makes Good.

Doubleday Becomes Reporter,
Make a Big Splash."

You know what I mean?

-Gee.

-Uh, now, uh, let's have a look.

Hold it right
there for a minute.

Ah, that's right.

Now we can, uh, correct
the wrinkles, you see?

And, uh, fix up that,
uh, that shiny nose.

Uh, this is a new
color technique.

We touch up the subject
before we take the picture.

Camera about ready, Freddie?

-Coming right up,
and loaded for color.

-Well, how's it look?

-Fine.

-Well, come on.

The man's in a hurry.

-Now, Doubleday, old boy, give
us a nice, careless, nonchalant

sort of a pose, you
know, like you'd

scooped the whole
town with a big yarn.

Give out with that personality.

You know how it is?

That's perfect.

That's terrific.

Now, hold it.

Hold it.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

-Here!

Hold this!

[MUSIC PLAYING]

-Ames!

-Well, my aching back.

-Why you [INAUDIBLE].

You're the first
of the old outfit

I've seen since we
split up at Tokyo.

-Well, if it ain't
the old sad sack

of Company B. What
are you doing here?

-Oh, I'm the new police
reporter for "The Tribune."

Mr. Blake sent me
to get evidence

to help us campaign
against the underworld.

-I'm afraid you're
a little late, kid.

After that haul I
made today, I don't

think there's a
gangster loose in town.

Got the whole mob in
there awaiting trial.

My first day in uniform too.

-Gee, that's swell, Ames.

It'll be great news
for Mr. Blake too.

He was pretty concerned
about conditions here.

-And he should be, with
a lot of crooks running

around posing as
respectable citizens.

-Well, how'd you know
they were criminals?

-Oh, just by looking at 'em.

A cop can always tell.

But come on in.

This'll give you a great
story for your paper.

Sit down right here.

Hi ya, Chief.

Greetings, Your Honor.

Officer-- Officer
Ames reporting, sir.

-Would you kindly
take the stand?

-Who, me?

-Yes, you.

-Well, gee.

Thanks.

-Ah, this whole
thing is a farce.

Look at this.

Arresting a man for
kissing his wife in public.

Booking a prominent doctor as
a second-story man, because he

can't tell the difference
between burglar

tools and surgical instruments.

You haven't got a case
here that'll hold water.

You're all dismissed, with
the apologies of the court.

-You mean you turned
them all loose?

-Hey, wait a minute.

Here.

Your Honor, I caught this
guy red-handed fishing

without a license.

It's in the bag here,
Exhibits A, B, C, D, and E.

-Is that right?

-That's right, Your Honor.

I never gave it a thought.

-Well, unfortunately, ignorance
of the law is no excuse.

I'm going to have to fine you.

-Oh, but Your Honor, you can't.

-I can't?

-The officer shouldn't
have arrested him

in the first place.

-You keep out of this.

-But Ames, those are
Semotilus atromaculatus.

-Hm?

-Hm?

-They are?

-I would have sworn
them was fish.

-Oh, they're fish
all right, Ames.

Semotilus atromaculatus
is their scientific name.

-Oh.

-They're commonly known as
the chub, a scavenger fish.

And no license has ever
been required to catch them.

-You're right, absolutely right.

I'd forgotten what
chub looked like.

Caught a lot of them
when I was a boy.

Ah, happy, carefree
days with a willow pole,

barefoot lad with cheek of tan.

[CLEARS THROAT] Case dismissed.

-Well, thank you, Your Honor.

-Ah, thank you, young man.

Court's adjourned.

-You just couldn't keep your
big mouth shut, could ya?

-But Ames, the-- the
man was innocent.

Here, have a cigar.

Have another.

One more?

-Don't try to soft soap me.

-Ames!

-I'm sorry, Chief.

Don't worry.

I'll see that Doubleday don't
put nothing in the paper.

And that's a promise.

Oh.

Have a cigar, Chief.

You too, Judge.

Uh, I, uh, never smoke on duty.

-Somebody get these astronomical
chubatellises outta here.

-Yes, sir.

Right away, sir.

Yes, sir.

[BANG]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

-You're a lawyer, Stafford.

Isn't Mr. Blake getting
pretty close to liable,

attacking my client like this?

Yeah.

What's the idea
always picking on me?

All I do is run a
legitimate burlesque house.

-(SCOFFS) Legitimate.

That place of yours is just a
front for all the racketeers

in this town, gamblers,
con men, blackmailers,

crooks of every description.

-That does it, Blake.

I'll sue you.

-Go right ahead, Rankin.

As Mr. Blake's attorney,
nothing would suit me

better than to get you
on a witness stand.

Then we might uncover the
identity of the real man

behind these rackets,
your real boss.

-That's the fellow I'm after.

-And don't think your cheap
threats will stop Mr. Blake.

He doesn't scare worth a cent.

-You know, that's a funny thing.

I don't either.

Come on.

-I wanna see Doubleday.

Don't tell me he ain't here,
because I checked at the paper.

-He's here.

This way.

-Uh, just a moment.

Let me surprise him.

Huh?

[MUSIC PLAYING]

-[SQUEAKY NOISES]

-Shut up!

-[SQUEAKY NOISE]

-Shut up!

I'll do the talking.

Now get this straight, sport.

Everything that happened in
police court today, forget it.

Because if one word
gets in the newspaper,

I'll unscrew your head and
use it for a door knob.

-Sure, Ames.

I-- I don't want to get
you into any trouble.

Oh, uh, Penny, this is Mr.
Ames, an old Army pal of mine.

This is Miss Blake.

-Oh.

How do you do?

I'm sure.

-I'm happy to know you.

-Yeah, um, likewise.

-Hello?

I'm sorry.

Mr. Blake isn't
here at the moment.

Any message?

-Well, Mrs. Blake, you tell Mr.
Blake we're through warning him

about his campaign to
clean up this town,

so the boss is
sending somebody over

to pound a little sense
into his thick head.

-Oh!

Oh!

Ah!

-Mother!

Oh, Mother!

[MUSIC PLAYING]

-So I'm to go to his
office in the morning

and warn him to lay off,
or uh, I go to his wife

and tell her about the little
episode at the convention

in Chicago, right?

-Right.

And you'd better make it stick.

-Mother?

Mother?

[MUSIC PLAYING]

-You.

You brute.

You brute!

What have you done
with my husband?

You gangster!

-Lady, please!

-Mother.

Mother.

What are you doing?

This is Mr. Ames,
a friend of Dodos.

Oh.

-We're buddies.

-Oh, I'm sorry.

Um, how do you do?

-Oh.

How do you do?

-We've got to find
Father to warn him.

They're after him.

-What?

Who's after him?

-Racketeers.

-Racketeers?

-Yes.

They're coming
over here to knock

Father's head off or something.

-Oh, no.

-Well, don't just stand here.

Somebody call the police.

-Yeah.

That's a good idea.

Police department,
and snap it up.

What am I doing?

Now relax, all of you.

Not a thing to worry about.

I'll take charge here.

Now you ladies go
right in and sit

down and leave everything to me.

-Ames, maybe we should
call the police.

-Huh?

-For a little help, I mean.

-Help?

And let somebody else
hog all the credit?

Look, champ, this
is my big chance.

And what a scoop for
you, "Officer Ames

Outwits Underworld,
Saves Publisher's Life

Single-handed."

-I know, Ames.

But maybe we don't--

-But nothing.

Have you forgotten who was the
Judo champ of our regiment?

I'll give him this,
and then some of this.

Then I'll--

[MUSIC PLAYING]

-Gee, kid.

I'm sorry.

But that'll give
you a rough idea

of what's going to happen
to anybody who comes

around here looking
for trouble tonight.

-Dodo?

What's the mess here?

-Oh, just a little
something we used

to do together in the Army.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[DOOR BUZZER]

-You all get in the other room.

I don't want anybody hurt,
in case there's any shooting.

Looking for trouble, buddy?

-Well, who-- who--

-Don't.

-[CHOKING NOISES]

-Yeah.

Well, it's me, big boy.

Oh, wanna play, huh?

-Oh!

-Look, gangster, go
back and tell your mob I

swallow a dozen
tough guys like you

every morning, on
the half shell.

I guarantee you, that ape will
never bother anybody anymore.

-Oh, thank you, officer.

And when Mr. Blake
hears about this,

he'll want to thank you too.

-Was he really a gangster?

-Gangster.

Toughest looking gorilla I
ever laid eyes on, you know,

one of them low-browed
characters with little pig eyes

and a jaw like a baboon,
lowest looking crook-- oh,

so you've come
back for more, huh?

Now give me room,
folks, and I'll--

-Winfield!

-Why, Mr. Blake.

-Mr. Blake?

You?

-Yeah, me, toughest
looking gorilla you

ever saw, little pig
eyes, a jaw like a baboon!

[ALL TALKING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

MR. BLAKE: Jaws
like a baboon, huh?

[MUSIC PLAYING]

-Winfield!

-No!

Let me at that guy!

-You're so crazy.

-You're making a
terrible mistake, sir.

Ames and I went through
the war together.

We're buddies.

-Yeah, you're buddies.

You're-- buddies, huh?

Buddies, huh?

-Winfield

-Oh, Mother.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

-Doubleday, you're fired!

Don't you ever let me see
you with my daughter again.

Get in there, Mother.

Go on.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

-Dodo?

Oh, Dodo, what are
we going to do?

I've never seen
Daddy so furious.

You've just got to do something.

-Penny, there's
nothing I can do.

Now you go down in the
office in the morning

and make him understand.

-Office?

He-- he wouldn't even
let me near the building.

Didn't you hear what he said?

-Well-- well, maybe if you
got there before he did.

-That's right, kid.

He can't kick you out,
if you're already in.

-It'll only make
him madder, Penny.

-It's the only way, Dodo.

For me, darling?

[MUSIC PLAYING]

-Oh, Mr. Blake isn't in yet.

Won't you have a seat?

-Thank you, I will.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

-Now, Mr. Blake.

Now see here, Mister--

[MUSIC PLAYING]

-[WHISTLING HAPPILY]

-Oh, wait a minute,
there's somebody in the--

-Dexter, my troubles are over.

Doubleday is no longer with us.

-The mob gave him
the works already?

-(HAPPILY) No, me.

I fired him last night.

[HUMMING A HAPPY JIG]

[WOLF WHISTLE]

-Hello, Windy.

-I beg your pardon?

[CLEARS THROAT]
[COUGHS] [CLEARS THROAT]

And what can I do for you?

BUBBLES LARUE: Oh, don't
tell me you've forgotten.

[LAUGHS] Beginning to remember?

-Uh, B-- Baubles--
uh, B-- Bubbles LaRue.

[LAUGHS] Chicago, wasn't it?

-What a convention.

MR. BLAKE: Oh, you said
it. [LAUGHS] You said it.

[CLEARS THROAT]
Uh, eh, wh-- what--

what are you doing in town?

-Oh, same old thing, Burley Q.

-All right.

-I just opened at
the International.

-Oh.

-One of the theaters
you're trying to close.

-Ah.

Don't tell me.

Let me add it up.

The local mob sent you here
TO put the squeeze on me.

-Well, that's their
idea, but I think

you and I can work out
our own little deal.

What would you pay to get
the lowdown on this mob?

Double cross 'em, huh?

-Oh, don't be so crude.

Let's just call it collecting
my old age pension.

--[SIGHS] What's
your proposition?

-Well, it's all here in my
diary, the name of the big boss

and enough evidence to hang
him, also, a complete account

of our little
escapade in Chicago.

Take a squint.

-[CLEARS THROAT] How much?

-Ten grand.

That's a bargain.

-Sold.

-Now here's the proposition.

Have someone in my
dressing room at 3 o'clock.

Let them slip me the dough,
and I'll hand over the diary.

And then, have him hit me over
the head and knock me stiff.

MR. BLAKE: Hey, what is this?

BUBBLES LARUE: It's got to
look like somebody robbed me,

or no dice.

If the boys ever got the
idea that I sold out-- no,

I've gotta be caught
cold, or no fooling.

-Hello, Miss Dexter.

-Oh, Mrs. Blake. (LOUDLY)
Oh, it's you, Mrs. Blake.

Oh, what a divine
hat, Mrs. Blake.

MRS. BLAKE: Well,
I'm glad you like it.

-Oh, please, Mrs.
Blake, don't go in yet.

[CONVERSATION CONTINUES]

-Well, I'm sure he won't mind.

-Oh, but Mrs. Blake, I-- please,

Mrs. Blake--

MRS. BLAKE: I'll
only be a minute.

-Oh.

Hello, Martha.

Nice of you to pop in.

But really, I'm
up to my-- I mean,

I'm-- I'm terribly
busy, uh, the campaign.

You understand.

-(SCOFFS) Campaign.

It has Miss Dexter
terribly upset.

And you?

Why you're as jumpy as
a-- as a jack rabbit.

-Eh, Martha, some other time.

I--

-And the dreadful way you
treated poor Dorian last night.

MR. BLAKE: Oh.

MRS. BLAKE: That's what I came
in here to talk to you about.

-Now don't start that again.

I've got enough trouble--

-Oh!

-Oh, I'm-- I'm sorry.

Wait, wait, wait--

-Now look what you've done.

-Wait.
Wa-- wait a minute.

Here.

Here, use this.

Use this.

-No, no.

I'll use the wash room.

-Oh, no!

Ma-- Martha!

Martha!
Wait a minute!

No.

No.

Come here.

Give me-- here-- oh--

-Winfield!

-Wait.

Wait.
-Don't give me a pitcher of--

-Martha!

MRS. BLAKE: Oh!

-Martha!

Oh!

-Oh, excuse me.

Well.

A little accident.

Thank you.

I must say, it's a
surprise finding you here,

but I'm glad it
happened this way.

Now we three can sit down
and talk this over calmly.

Did you, uh, get everything
fixed up with Mr. Blake?

-(WHISPERS) Not yet.

-Well, that's all right.

You leave it to me.

Come on.

-Martha, I can explain.

It was--

-Winfield?

Why didn't you tell
me Dorian was here?

-Well, I-- I-- I would--
I-- I would if I--

if I'd-- if I'd-- I
would if I'd seen--

if I'd seen that you
wanted to know-- I mean,

if I'd known that you want--
wanted to see him, I-- I--

-But dear, that's the
reason I'm here today,

so we can settle this
misunderstanding.

-Misunderstanding?

-Yes.

-What misunderstanding?

Why Doubleday knows I was
only joking last night,

don't you son?

Yeah.

-I could have been
mistaken, sir.

But somehow, I did get the
impression that I was fired.

-Fired?

Whatever gave you that idea?

Why, you're getting
another raise.

We can't afford to have
our future son-in-law

working for peanuts.

-Well, Winfield, this
is all very confusing.

But anyway, I'm delighted.

And Penny will be so happy.

Why, the poor girl was
just about frantic.

-Oh, I'll see you
out, Mrs. Blake.

-Yes.

Yes.

Yes.

So hurry along.

You-- you'll miss the elevator.

[LAUGHS NERVOUSLY] And
come right back, Doubleday.

That, uh, new-- new
assignment, you know?

-Yes, sir.

-You can come on now, Bubbles.

Uh, uh, how-- how-- how
come she didn't see you?

-That pixie of yours
pushed me into the shower.

Who is that guy, anyway?

-Oh, never mind him.

We've got to get
you out of here.

3 o'clock in your
dressing room, I'll

have somebody there
with the cash.

-Where's my coat?

-Oh.

Oh, that's-- that's I
threw it out the window.

-You what?

-Well, I'll buy-- I'll
buy you a new one.

I'll--

-Oh, for land's sake, how does a
girl get out of here like this?

-Oh yeah, that's right.

Wait a minute.

Let's go-- uh, here.

Here.

Here, take this one.

Hurry up.

Get it on and get out of here.

No!

No, not that way.

Not that way.

Here.

-Shall I see her to
the elevator too?

-I got her out of here.

-Gee, that diary sounds
like a real clue.

Are you going down to
the theater and get it?

-No, you are.

-Boy, what a scoop.

Here, have a cigar.

-Now, calm down.

This is serious.

Go down to Stafford's office,
and he'll give you the money.

I'll phone him and explain.

-Yes, sir.

-Now, just a minute.

Don't forget.

After you get the diary,
you've got to knock her out.

-Oh, but I couldn't.

I've never hit a lady before.

-All right.

If you won't do it, you will
never see my daughter again.

-Oh, I'll-- I'll do it, sir.

But where will I hit her?

-Well, I'd hit her, uh-- here.

Hit her about there.

-Like this?

-Oh!

Not so hard.

That would kill her.

Ju-- just a tap.

Now come on, get going.

I'll met you
outside the theater.

Uh, remember now, son, not
a word of this to anybody.

-Oh no, sir.

My lips are sealed.

-Fine.

Fine.

What are you guys gawking at?

Come on, get to work.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[BANG]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

-Hey, there he is.

-Dodo, what happened?

Wouldn't Daddy listen to reason?

-Uh, I'll explain later, Penny.

Excuse us a minute.

-Huh?

Oh sure, kid.

Here you are.

-Thanks.

-Dodo, you're not
gonna hit Father.

-Oh, no.

Of course not.

It's just a little
private matter

I've got to straighten up before
you and I can get married.

I'll see you later.

-What was all the
whispering about?

-Oh-- oh, nothing much.

He's just got to go down
to the International

and interview a--
a burlesque queen

by the name of Bubbles LaRue.

-Interview her with a blackjack?

-Yeah.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

-Now, wait a minute.

That don't make sense.

What's he up to
with my blackjack?

-What's he up to with
that Bubbles LaRue?

-Yeah.

-Hm.

So that's the
little matter he has

to straighten out before
we can get married.

Come on.

Let's go down there.

-Yeah.

The stairs are quicker.

Ah!

-Well, Doubleday, this
is a pretty important

assignment for a new reporter.

You should be mighty proud of
Mr. Blake's conference in you.

-Well, it's really nothing.

Everything's arranged.

I just have to get the
diary from Miss LaRue.

-Diary?

Oh, uh, diary.

Yes, of course.

Well good luck, son.

-Thank you, sir.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[WOMAN SCREAMS]

-Excuse me!

[MUSIC PLAYING]

-Hey, son.

The chorus kids are at
the end of the hall.

-Oh, nothing like that, sir.

I have sort of an
appointment with Miss LaRue.

-Two doors down.

But she's on now.

[SNEEZE] She's picking 'em
kinda young this season.

-Oh.

Oh, this isn't a
social call, sir.

Strictly business.

[SNEEZE] [SNEEZE]
[SNEEZE] [SNEEZE]

-Would you like some water, sir?

[SNEEZE] [SNEEZE]
[SNEEZE] [SNEEZE] [SNEEZE]

Hay fever.

I've had it for years.

I don't know what I'd do
without little Bertha here.

She's the only thing
that can stop me,

once I get to sneezing.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

-Pixie.

-Uh, Mr. Blake said--

-Shh!

No names.

(QUIETLY) Did you
bring it with you?

-(QUIETLY) Oh, yes.

Right here.

-The dough, you dope.

The dough.

-Oh.

Yes, ma'am.

That's-- that's in here too.

-OK, wait a minute.

I've got to stage.

This has to look good.

Who's there?

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

[SCREAM]

[THUD]

[RATTLING]

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

-Oh, Miss LaRue?

I've got that new
number for you.

Miss LaRue!

What's the matter?

Are you sick?

Oh, no!

[SCREAM]

-Miss LaRue?

Miss LaRue?

Miss LaRue, is it all right
to-- why-- why, Miss LaRue.

I didn't do it!

Honest!

[POP]

[SCREAM]

[SIRENS]

-Yeah, you three
cover the front here.

Blare, you and Holden go around
the alley and cover there.

You two cover the
door around the side.

Well, how are you, Mr. Blake?

-Well, hello, Steve.

How are ya?

-What are you, on
a slumming tour?

Or are you a patron
of the fine arts?

-No, I was just down the way
to a business appointment.

You know, I was, uh, uh,
uh-- my campaign, you know?

[LAUGHS NERVOUSLY] Uh,
what's all the excitement?

What's up?

-From here, it
looks like murder.

-Mu-- murder?

Who-- who murdered who?

-Let's go inside.

We'll find out.

-Oh, no.

I've got--
-Come on.

Come on.

There may be a story
in this for you.

So one thing's certain.

No professional would
leave his calling card.

Obviously, the
work of an amateur.

-Amateur?

It's the work of a
moron, if you ask me.

-Did you?

Did you?

-Gee, thanks sir, for not
telling about my appointment

with Miss LaRue.

I would have been kind of
awkward if they suspected me.

-That's all right, son.

Think nothing of it.

-I may be able to
solve this crime.

You see, I know
why she was killed.

Why, I may be able
to put my finger

on the murderer any minute.

-Hi, Chief.

What's cooking?

-Ames, I thought I assigned
you to the hock shop detail.

What are you doing here?

-Well, it was like this.

I was tailing somebody,
and what do you know?

He leads me right to this show.

-You don't say.

-Yeah.

And what a show.

Say, that Bubbles LaRue,
she's out of this world.

-Ames, you're right
for the first time

since you've joined the force.

DORIAN: Why, Penny.

MR. BLAKE: Penny?

What in the world--

-Daddy, what are you doing here?

-Get out of here.

Go on home.

-Hold on.

Not so fast, Miss Blake.

What do you know
about Bubbles LaRue?

-I prefer not to
discuss Miss LaRue.

Oh, Daddy, I've been
so wrong about Dodo.

-Why Penny, you don't
think I came here to--

-I don't think
anything, Mr. Doubleday,

I know why you came here.

-Penny, shut up.

S-- something
terrible has happened.

Miss LaRue was--
has been murdered.

-Oh, Dodo.

-Oh, Penny.

No.

-So you had a date
with Miss LaRue.

But you're in love
with Miss Blake.

Don't deny it.

You want to marry her, but
Miss LaRue was in your way.

She was jealous of you.

She had your love
letters in that trunk.

-I--

-And she [INAUDIBLE] like a rat.

You hid in that closet.

And when you saw your
chance, you sprang out.

You knocked her to the
floor and killed her.

Come on now, admit it.

Speak up!

-I've been trying to, sir.

-Now we're beginning
to get somewhere.

Come on, Harris, take
down his confession.

I know how to make him crack.

Well, let's have
the whole story.

Why did you kill her?

-I didn't.

And if you'll
pardon my saying so,

sir, the modern
criminologist would consider

your methods extremely
unscientific.

-You don't say so.

-Oh yes, sir.

The new technique is to
reconstruct the crime

from the material
evidence on the scene.

For instance, this coat.

As you see, sir,
it's a man's coat.

Obviously, it belongs to a large
man, someone about the size of,

well, um, Mr.
Blake, for instance.

-Well, Blake, when you
get through gargling,

maybe you'll tell me why
you came down here today.

-I-- I told you.

I had a-- I had a
business appointment.

-Well, you won't mind
slipping into Exhibit 2,

just to see how it fits.

Well, well, what a coincidence.

Fits you like a glove.

-Just like the skin
on a baby hippo.

-Now ain't that misfortunate?

Davis, I want you to fingerprint
everybody in this room.

-OK.

-And we'll start
with you, Mr. Blake.

I want to compare prints.

-Come on, Blake.

-This is an outrage.

It's unconstitutional.

-Bite your tongue.

Come over here.

-I haven't done anything wrong.

-I know.

I know.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

-Do you want your
atomizer, Mr. Bagsy?

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Mr. Bagsy!

[MUSIC PLAYING]

-Not so fast.

-You did it.

You got the diary.

-You're right.

[SCREAM]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

-Relax!

I was just leaving.

And I can assure
you, one false move

would be too bad
for this young lady.

Get going.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

-Excuse me.

[LAUGHTER]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[SCREAM]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Thank you.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[SCREAM]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

-Excuse me.

-Why you dumb ass.

[SCREAMS]

-There he is.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

-Hang on, kid!

-Help!

[MUSIC PLAYING]

-Which way did he go, boy?

-I think he went that way.

-That way?

Ah!

Somebody got my gun!

[GUNSHOT]

[SCREAMS]

[GUNSHOT]

[GUNSHOT]

[SCREAMS]

[APPLAUSE]

-Ah!

Oh!

Ah!

Ah!

Ah!

Ah!

Ah!

Oh!

[MUSIC PLAYING]

-I thought it was him.

-Idiot!

Don't let him get
away with that diary!

-No, sir.

[LAUGHTER]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[LAUGHTER]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

-Get your hands up!

[LAUGHTER]

-Take their guns and tie 'em up.

-Drop that gun!

I got it, Mr. Blake.

-Dodo, look out!

-Get that diary.

-I'll shoot.

One more step and I'll shoot.

-You won't shoot.

-Yes, I will.

[LAUGHTER]

[APPLAUSE]

[LAUGHTER]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

-Drop that diary.

Get away from it.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

-Just a minute!

Stop.

Gimme that diary.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[LAUGHTER]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[LAUGHTER]

-Mr. Blake!

Forward pass!

[LAUGHTER]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[APPLAUSE]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

-Hey!

I got him, Chief.

I got him.

-Good work, Ames.

Stafford.

You!

-Oh, save it for one of
your moronic editorials.

PENNY: Dodo?

Where's Dodo?

-Come on, buddy.

Get up.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

-There's enough evidence
in this to hang you.

-I'll take that.

All right, boys, take them out.

[APPLAUSE]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

-Dodo, are you OK?

-Oh, yes.

I'm all right.

-Oh, Dodo.

Forgive me for doubting you.

-All right.

It's all right.

Um, not here.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[LAUGHTER]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[LAUGHTER]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[APPLAUSE]

[MUSIC PLAYING]