Here Comes Rusty (2016) - full transcript

♪ You'll recall my name ♪

♪ When everybody starts to see ♪

♪ The blazing sun ♪

♪ Did you really
see the way they ♪

♪ All dropped and asked
that question why ♪

♪ Boom boom, bang bang, pow ♪

♪ Here it comes again ♪

♪ Can't stop the way it flows ♪

♪ It never knows why it goes ♪

♪ Time is free ♪

♪ Time is free ♪



♪ You've been there to take
the time to look on out ♪

♪ You've been there to take
the time to stop it once ♪

♪ That's the place
where we all go ♪

♪ I don't know why we do it ♪

♪ Never any reason
to be not free ♪

Stop it!

Stop it!

Stop, stop, stop, stop!

Cut, cut, stop, please stop.

- Please, please stop!
- Come on, man!

What happened?

- What'd you say?
- What happened?

I tell you something.

You still haven't played
the chord right yet.



Well, what did I do wrong?

It's what'd you do right?

I'm telling you,
please y'all go home.

I tell you, Bartholomew,
band room, pronto.

Think you've gone
a little tone deaf.

A-E-G flat?

I thought that was what I did.

Huh, if I had a dime for
every time I heard that,

we could actually have
dog racing in here.

Good to see you, man.

What's up?

Okay.

Okay, three, two, one.

Where was that 10 minutes ago?

That was actually D-F-G.

Well, aren't you a
little Jim Hendrix.

Who?

Big Dick, your
sister's on line one.

What does she want?

Something about money.

Yeah.

I'm still waiting
for that money.

What the hell
you need money for?

The same reason I
call you every month.

It's not the 30th yet.

You're right, you're
right, it's the second.

I'm not covering again
for you this time.

Don't you hang up on me.

- I'm on my way.
- Get your butt down here.

Magnolia, attention.

Patrons and staff, go home.

The reasons have yet
to be determined.

And more than anything,
have a nice day.

Chill out.

You all right?

I'm okay.

Yeah, I'm fine, I'm fine.

♪ They look my way
and every time ♪

♪ They just seem to say ♪

♪ He's just looking
for a woman ♪

♪ He's just looking for
a pretty, pretty woman ♪

Oh, mister, mister, mister.

Mister, mister, I think you know

you're not supposed
to park here.

It's okay, junior, I'm
an officer of the law.

Sir, you don't look
like much of a cop.

If my boss comes around here,

he's gonna get real upset.

Son, do you want
to go to jail?

No, sir.

If there's anything I learned,

you don't dig for water
under the outhouse.

Shit!

Get along, little doggy.

Whoa, Daisy.

Sorry, we don't sell
wheelchairs here.

Might want to start
after I break your legs.

Oh, hold on here,
I'm just funning ya.

I'm just trying to help an
old man out with his problems.

Step aside, cowboy.

Oh come on, Dicky,
you and I both know

what the problem is.

We know you're not
gonna be able to keep

the lights running at Magnolia

unless you and me team up.

Now's the perfect time.

And it's gonna happen
one way or the other.

We could take that old place,

turn it upside down,

make it shine like a Texas star.

Hells fire, look what
I did with my ranch.

I bought that old rundown
Pizza Pizza parlor

and turned it into the
destination for Mobile.

Well hell, I got
kiddies coming up here

just to ride the horses.

And I'll tell you
something else, partner.

The people in town
look up to me.

Come on, don't you want to see

Mak's Greyhound
Park shine again?

You know, fruitcake and
play your band practice

as long as you want.

And just leave the
hard work up to me.

I'll give you credit, Mak,

but Pizza Pizza was less
than a mile away from me.

Now I gotta go to Possum
Grape to get good pizza.

And hey, I like my pizza.

And secondly,

never, ever

mention my guitar player
Bart in front of me again.

Well, hold up.

What the heck are
you doing, Richard?

I haven't seen or
talked to you in months.

And from the looks of it,
if I didn't keep your books,

you'd still be reading
palms and doing magic shows.

You don't have to worry
about doing the books anymore.

Why?

Are you broke?

Are you gambling again?

You're the
accountant, you tell me.

Well you haven't exactly been
diligent with your spending.

Don't hassle
me, please, woman.

You asked.

It's rhetorical, you know?

I know where my investments are.

I wouldn't exactly call
that stage an investment.

Is this place an investment?

Don't start with my marriage.

What would Dad say if
he saw you like this?

That's a whole
other conversation.

Richard, I'm still
willing to help you.

I'll figure it out.

Okay fine, you figure it out.

'Cause I'm pretty sure
if you don't, Mak will.

That will never happen!

Why don't you just
ask College for help?

College is outta
down and old Dicky can

take care of himself
as he always does.

That's the response
I was afraid of.

I'll tell you, this
big cat has nine lives.

He's used seven of them up.

Hey, little Dick.

How has your day been?

By the looks of your litter box,

it's been similar to mine.

What in the world you been into?

That old ham on the counter?

Don't worry, Daisy.

Daisy is afraid
that, once again,

one of our used cars is
gonna be out of a job.

A car will never
replace a horse,

unless it's one of
Mak's fine used cars.

Come on down where the
price is always right

and the customer's always right.

I'm giving the cars away.

I'm crazy, as crazy as you'll
be about our great offers.

Be a star, buy a car from
Mak's Used Car Ranch.

Yippee!

What the hell
are you doing, boy?

My God, Dick, what
have you been doing?

I leave for a few months.

Place is complete disaster.

Grab me some old rare
wine over there, you know?

And hey man, it's good
to see you, College.

You old grit eater.

Dick.

I just spoke with your sister.

I'm a little confused.

She said you're out of money.

Is this true or false?

That's false.

It's true.

Before I left,

didn't you say you were
gonna invest in slot machines

and other profitable ways
of electronic gaming?

Yes.

And now, Mak is interested
in buying out Magnolia,

and he'll probably be able to

'cause you haven't
been listening

to anything I've
been telling you.

We gotta do something.

Do you not realize that?

Or do you want to just hand
the keys over to Mak right now?

You're right as usual,

you Southern, grit
eating, pencil neck geek.

What can we do?

Well the first thing,

we gotta change
this business model.

There's no way around it.

Never worked.

From what I hear,

the only way you've ever
turned a profit in this place

is from derby.

So it's what we have to do,

even if we don't have time.

We have to have a derby.

Remember those great
days at Magnolia?

Yes.

I want to bring it back.

Get it back to
the St. Jon class.

You remember those days?

Remember.

Look at
Leotard right there.

How many races?

27.

That's what I
want to get back to.

I mean, now the place,

it reeks of cats
and old corn dogs.

I can get the local
press to come.

We can have a news conference.

You're just gonna have
to meet me halfway.

We need to open up our
options to investors.

You know, just...

This is the part
you're probably sort of

might not like.

Just, you know, hear me out

before you throw anything, okay?

Hmm.

Mak has agreed to help sponsor

the promotional
coverage as long as you

mention his used car
ranch a few times

and you put a promotional
banner behind you.

There's no other way.

Without anybody here
for the big race,

we just, we don't
stand a chance.

No investor's gonna
invest in this place,

I can tell you that now.

Vicky can convince Mak the
promotions are worth 30 grand.

Let's do a charity car wash.

You'll wear a bikini?

If Mak isn't
involved, sign me up.

No.

Listen, I'm gonna take
the rest of the day.

Order new supplies, get
this place cleaned up.

With what money?

This money.

Huh.

Now, would you try and
get some rest, please?

- Just go, just go.
- Bright and early.

Fine, fine.

This is unfortunate.

What'd it be, boss?

Bud Light, and
keep them coming.

- Been there, brother.
- Yeah.

Hey, winners never quit.

Seven all day, and I've
still got one more race.

Well.

You keep up with this cup,

and I'll keep refilling it
'til you can't stand up.

Alrighty, thank
you, my friend.

No tipping ass.

My man, Keith,
the baddest man in Mobile.

Young blood.

So this is what
it comes down to?

Yeah.

Big Dick finally struck out.

What happened
while I was gone?

We've been losing our
asses on this new strategy

he got for picking races.

He opens up the books
and bets on whatever

dogs or horses
the cat pisses on.

Genius.

Do you know how
much money we've lost?

I don't want to know.

Well before, he was
using a Buffalo nickel

and we was rolling.

Then the damn cat ate it.

A nickel?

Yep, took it home, waited
for it to shit it out,

but it never happened.

What?

It never came out.

Must've got lodged
in his intestines.

So the cat's lucky.

Exactly, thought it
would literally piss money.

Man's a mess.

I leave for a few months,

this place is a
complete disaster.

At least the bar still
makes great drinks.

You're a good
young man, College.

Hey man, look.

Why don't you move to the
city, get you a good job?

You're smarter than
everybody else around here.

'Cause I made a promise
and I don't break them.

Plus, how would it
look for a 22 year old

to turn a dying business
into a thriving cash cow?

No way he saves this place.

Let's not give
up on him just yet.

Keep your head up.

All right, right on, brother.

Smart young man, yeah.

Hi, I'm Veronica
with Channel Six News,

and we're out at the Magnolia
Greyhound Park today.

It is a beautiful day.

It's sunny, the skies are clear,

and we are just super
excited to be here.

We're waiting on
Dicky right now,

and Mak's about to
come out as well.

And we even have Elliott
the Elk here with us today.

Where are you going, Elliott?

Oh, here he is.

Now don't get fresh,
Elliott.

Chuck.

Hey, what's up, College?

It's good to see you, man.

- Good to see you too.
- Yeah, man.

Is he in there?

Yep, for awhile now.

He came out three times,

but he went right
back in the bathroom.

Man, he's got the
shakes real bad.

Huh, probably
was out all night.

Sure looks like it.

Hi, hi, I'm Veronica.

We're at Magnolia.

Hi, I'm, hi, I'm Veronica.

The hell's the elk
doing over there?

- Elkington's the new sponsor.
- Who are these, who are they?

We gotta do something about
those cavalier kitties.

I'm telling you.

Relax, just...

Relax.

Big Dick.

Remember to say Mak's...

- I got it, I got it.
- Used Car Ranch.

I got it.

I love the billboard.

Yeah, they did a good job.

It looks a lot like you.

Well, not as flattering as
I like to see, but it's there.

Good morning.

Friends, colleagues, mascots.

I stand before you
today a broken man.

This fine establishment

has been in the St. Jon
family for over 30 years,

and as served as the premier
dog track in the state.

This Saturday, we will host

what could be the
final Magnolia Derby.

As some of you might have heard,

this place has fallen
on hard times and

will be repossessed
before you know it.

Next week, the sun may very
well rise over Magnolia Park,

but where will you
be when it does?

Will you be on Planet Earth?

Okay, well thank you guys

- for coming out and...
- You pencil neck geek!

Thank you to
Mak's Used Car Ranch

and the wonderful people
over at Elkington's.

- Coming up...
- You stupid!

Elkington's!

You know, they didn't
have a lot of time.

Oh, I understand.

Yeah.

He's always running
short of time.

There's nobody here.

Look at that.

God bless America.

Yeah!

Didn't enjoy the talk,

but I sure enjoyed the music.

Dicky.

You got a visitor.

Oh, send him on in.

Well, that was a
beautiful speech.

It's almost as beautiful
as Texas, wasn't it?

More or less.

El Paso or San Angelo?

What?

Better question, what
are you doing in my office?

Look, when a cowboy goes
out to wrangle cattle,

he don't look to
eat a steak after.

All he wants to do is
perform his God given duty.

And my duty is to buy this
place and demolish it.

You got any extra strings?

I popped one of mine.

Bartholomew, out.

Sorry.

I'm not selling
this place to you.

Period, end of sentence.

Over and out, no.

You got nowhere to run, Dicky.

It's me or the bank.

The bank.

Partner, you are as stubborn

as a longhorn in a rubber pen.

I think we're done here.

It's time to mosey on.

Rich, now hold on.

I think you and me can look
at this thing together.

We both have the same
idea for this place.

To make it shine.

Why don't we do what
good old boys do?

Good old boys?

A bet.

I win the Magnolia Derby this
Saturday, I get the track.

You win, you get
my used car ranch.

Your dogs versus mine.

Your dogs.

Don't worry, I
got connections.

Buddy of mine out West
has some mighty fine pups.

Hmm, and I get the car ranch?

Yep.

Let's make a deal.

Well, all right.

Finishing what
our dads started.

You just remember
to look both ways

before you cross the street.

All right.

Howdy.

What was that all about?

I got no time,
I gotta go get Keith.

A deal with
the devil himself.

Can you
believe this, Keith?

So cowboy Mak is
trying to make a deal

with Big Dick St. Jon.

Sounds familiar.

I had heard Mak was hard
up for cash these days.

Kinda desperate,
don't you think?

Who told you that?

Just know it's true.

And he's got everything
riding on it, just like we do.

Thanks, baby.

So it sounds like you got
a two for one special.

A prime racetrack and a
crappy car dealership.

Did you shake on it?

Not by choice.

It's a real deal, then.

Handshakes hold up in court.

Like father, like son.

Yeah, I've been
thinking about that also.

I'm not following.

Oh, you never
heard how Dick's dad

almost lost the racetrack?

No.

I gotta go to the ladies room.

Back in the day,

before your time,

the St. Jon family
had a reputation

as the premier horse
racing facility in America.

Things were really
good for awhile.

But as time went on
and the other tracks

started to come around,

our admission prices went down

as our renovations went up.

Our initial contractor
wasn't the best.

We went bankrupt.

Thank you.

Mr. St. Jon loved
Magnolia more than anything.

He loved it so much, he had
to make a deal with the devil.

Mr. Jay Hoffstadt.

Mak's dad?

The deal
was almost exact.

Whoever wins, wins it all.

Mr. St. Jon was one of the
hardest working fellows

I've ever known.

But he had a slight
drinking problem.

I mean, you can't blame the guy.

Look at who his son is.

Long story short, Mr.
Hoffstadt won the race

with the horse that
had no business

being on the same track
as the other ones.

Mr. St. Jon was
torn up about that.

- Where's my money?
- I'll be right back.

He ran out
to his parking lot

to get another
bottle of whiskey...

Little did
Jay Hoffstadt know,

he faced the same
fate as Mr. St. Jon.

Oh, shit.

What'd I miss?

How come you never
told me this, Dicky?

Must've slipped my mind.

I want to make
sure you win this race.

Do we even have dogs
capable of winning this thing?

Haven't raced in
a couple years but

I think they got some
juice left in them.

We could
drug the other dogs.

- No.
- No.

No, no, no, no, no, no.

All right.

You want to roll the dice?

Look, I've been a
gambler since sixth grade

and I'm not gonna stop now.

I got a good
feeling on this one.

You know, Boz was the champ.

Boz?

Yep.

Best pup we ever
had at Magnolia.

The dog did have a set
of horse balls on him.

Oh yeah.

God, just pick it up, Ron.

Take the snowman.

- Fine.
- There's a sport.

All right, you guys ready
to get down to business?

Well Mak, you seem like
a pretty straight shooter

off the golf course.

You know what we can do.

You know that it
comes with a price.

Ain't that right, Ron?

Absolutely.

Okay, I trust you guys.

You're definitely professionals.

But just so we all
understand the deal.

You do your part,
you get my car ranch.

Yeah, that's right.

A dog race.

Dog race?

Yeah, a dog race.

I'm not following you, Mak.

Yeah, I don't know what
you mean by that, mister.

I need you fellas to
help me fix a dog race

at Magnolia Greyhound Park.

Now, how would you guys do it?

You want us to kill dogs?

I'll do that no problem, sir.

No, no, hell, I'm not
gonna kill anything.

Look, I just figured
you might get some drugs

and give it to the
dog before the race.

I really need to win the race.

Drugs, I ain't
got any drugs on me.

Do you, Ron?

I mean, I had some awhile ago,

but I don't really
do that anymore.

What, do you think
I'm a plainclothesman?

Here, I think these will work.

Sweet, looks like we're
the ones for the job.

What is this stuff?

Downers, you can
thank my wife for those.

Incidentally, anything you
guys need, just let me know.

And oh, when I give you
the keys to the kingdom,

if you know what I mean,

how do you usually
keep your books?

Cash only.

No checks, no PayPal, no IOUs.

You only want the real stuff.

That's the way it's
gonna be, right, Ron?

Yep, I used to
use the bank but

I got a lot of overdraft
so lost a ton of money.

Seemed like a waste not to just

put it in a Ziploc
bag, you know?

Yeah, no overdrafts for sure.

I'll do the accounting
back at the lot

and we'll cross that
bridge when we get there.

- Absolutely.
- Hey, Mak.

Don't even think
about crossing us

'cause we are a serious
force to be reckoned with.

Things that we've done,
they are unforgivable, Mak.

And we will not be seeing those
pearly gates anytime soon.

Do you get what I'm saying, Mak?

- Oh, oh, yeah.
- Yeah.

You'll be sleeping
with the fishes.

Dammit Ron, will you stop
with those movie references?

What am I
supposed to say?

Guys, I know better
than to try to cross you.

I believe this is a beginning
of a beautiful partnership.

Agreed.

All right, play on.

I'm giving you a mulligan.

Well hold up, I'm first.

- All right.
- Oh yeah.

You gotta let me go as well.

But you're
handicapped right now.

Don't worry about it,
just concentrate on this.

Uh-oh.

Nope.

All right, I
can't win them all.

You
haven't won one yet.

Sir, you Matthew Fredericks?

Who?

Matthew Fredericks?

Matthew Fredericks right here.

I'd stick to
College if I was you.

What do we got here?

Toilet paper, light bulbs.

I purchased a
cornucopia of things.

Looks like they even sent
things I didn't order.

Rusty's in one of these.

Let me see that.

No, we have to wait for Dicky.

Dicky would fire
everyone on the spot

if we looked at
Rusty without him.

Where is Dicky?

Feels like we
forgot something.

Weren't we here just
to get the plastic cups?

Hmm.

Y'all come back now.

Nice mandles, Grandpa.

Lucky you're outta season.

You
hillbilly garden gnome.

We're never coming
back here again.

Why?

'Cause if I see
that elk again,

I could get very ugly.

Pineapples?

Why do we have pineapples?

Pineapples are good
for the esophagus.

Okay.

♪ Work that sucker to death ♪

♪ You know ♪

♪ I work that sucker to death ♪

- Hey, what up, Chuck?
- Hey Dicky, what's up, Bart?

- How's it going?
- It's going good.

- Chuck, what's happening?
- Doing just fine, sir.

What you got?

Gather round.

Words can't describe

the feelings I
have for this place

and it's looking shiny again.

It's incredible.

And y'all have kept this
place floating for so long.

It's amazing.

I'm honored that you worked here

and if Dad was here,

he would have something
special to say.

And I thank you.

What's next?

Matthew has one
last surprise for you.

Follow me.

I think you're
gonna like this one.

♪ Well it's time to get up ♪

♪ 'Cause we gotta get down ♪

- ♪ Going out to the club ♪
- All right.

Sweet.

Here's yours.

- Thank you.
- You're welcome.

Ron, moving down here, man,

that was the best
decision we've ever made.

- Yeah.
- We got it.

I just miss my ma a
little bit, you know?

She'll be fine though.

She'll be proud of us,
man, seeing us out here.

I mean, we're making it
in this town, you know?

We pull this off
and we'll be golden.

Yeah.

Now, there's a couple things

that I need you
to pick up for us.

You think you can handle that?

Got it.

Okay.

Now remember.

These are canines that
we're dealing with.

They've got real sharp teeth,

so this ain't a petting zoo.

Man, I thought we
were drugging rabbits.

Jesus, man, you gotta focus.

I don't know who's
smarter, you or the dogs.

The dogs are pretty
smart animals, man.

We used to have one
back when I was a kid,

when I was little.

You'd be surprised the
tricks you can make them do.

I remember we used
to have this thing,

we'd jump on the trampoline

and bounce off my belly.

Look, man, we're not
up north anymore, okay?

Those days of selling
dope to has beens

and scamming bowling
alleys, they're long gone.

I miss bowling.

Ron.

I'm really, really
starting to question

bringing you down here.

Hey, what's up, guys?

My name's Cap'n but
y'all can call me Cap'n.

Y'all know what I did today?

Man, I went fishing,
man, with the tinsel.

You ever been fishing?

- I've been fishing.
- Man, I'm talking about

some big fish, man.

You know where the tinsel is?

- I don't...
- Man, that fish was so big.

Man, I mean big that I
had to fight the alligator

just to keep it
off my fish, man.

And I mean outta
nowhere, guess what?

What did the fish say when
it hit the concrete wall?

Damn!

I mean, outta nowhere,
there's the game warden, man.

Did you know you have to have
a fishing license to fish?

- Come on, man.
- I mean, have you ever

been fishing, thing
would never let go.

That fish was so enormous, man.

- I'm talking about it was...
- Hey, hey, you know what?

Take your ass outta here.

Word, man.

Word yourself.

Don't believe that guy, man.

Right in the middle
of master plans.

It's all right, man,
let's have a drink.

And this is between
me and you, all right?

Clowns like that come up

- and mess it up, all right?
- It's all right, yeah.

It's gonna work out, Ron.

Eyes on the prize.

You know, everything
you've always wanted,

everything you've
always dreamed about,

everything you've
always told me,

that's gonna happen, man.

And this is where it
starts, all right?

This is gonna work, man.

So here's to us.

Stick your pinky
out, man, it's proper.

Why are you so
quiet tonight, teach?

Is my playing that bad?

Nah, junior, you sound fine.

But there's always
room for improvement

and nothing to holler over it.

I've been enjoying the jams

and just got me
started thinking and

that's something
I usually avoid.

What are you thinking about?

Seeing Magnolia
today, all cleaned up,

reminded me of my pop.

It was an important
part of this town.

He loved this track.

Old Rust used to be a judge
in the chili cook-off,

and hell, he even
came after Santa Claus

in the Christmas parade.

Doesn't the elk guy do it now?

That monster
has taken his place.

Really chaps my ass.

Where was I, oh yeah.

Daddy would sit back
in the stands with me

and watch race after race.

They never seemed
to get old to him.

He used to say a
man could figure out

the meaning of life
just by doing that.

Over time, I've tried
to make Magnolia my own.

Honestly, I don't even know
what I'm doing here anymore.

Well I think it's pretty cool.

I was actually hoping that

we'd get shut down when
we lost the horses.

And I don't even like dogs.

I wish this was a cat track.

You know, I got a
lotta memories here.

But since then, I've
become a bitter, old drunk.

I pissed all my money away

and wasted a lot of time.

That's not true, you haven't
wasted all of your time.

How's that?

You've taught me
everything I know.

Actually, junior,
I'm pretty sure

you're the one who's
been teaching me.

Well, too bad you didn't
figure that out sooner.

♪ I think it's been,
I think it's been ♪

♪ 15 years, 15 years ♪

♪ Since you, since you ♪

♪ Let me down, let me down ♪

♪ I think it's been,
I think it's been ♪

♪ 15 years, 15 years ♪

♪ 15 years ♪

♪ And now's the time ♪

♪ Now's the time ♪

♪ How long's it been ♪

♪ How long's it been ♪

♪ Since, since you've ♪

Vicky!

Vicky, you know I hate cats.

I can't hear you.

Why the hell are there
three kittens in our garage?

Well they were the cutest

of the tomcats from the track

so thought it'd be
nice to have something

to care about around here.

Oh good Lord, I just
dropped them off yesterday.

Look, you got me, I got you.

What more do we need, huh?

You lonely, baby, hmm?

You need a little more Mak time?

Can never get enough Mak time.

I'm keeping those kittens.

No you ain't, Vick.

Yes, I am.

You know, this is the same as

when you signed us up
for that timeshare.

That was 15 years ago.

It just points to
your crazy lady logic.

Good heavens, a timeshare.

You know, some people
actually like to travel.

Yeah, wherever you go,
that's where you are.

That's what I always say.

You don't have to travel
far to figure that one out.

Listen.

I've been thinking and...

Well that sounds real good,

but it's gotta be any
night but tonight.

I gotta meet Danny for drinks.

He just pulled into town
with my pups for the race.

Mak, I want to talk to you.

What you need is some
girlfriends to talk to.

You don't like my friends.

Just, I just don't want
them over here in the house.

You don't like me to go out.

Honey, I'm a busy man.

I'm too busy for all this
nonsense, Danny's waiting.

You're a bigger
asshole than my brother.

Whoa, don't compare
me to that broke loser.

I keep your books too
so I still don't know

where your confidence
comes from.

Confidence?

Baby, I got that in droves.

Wham bam!

Mak, what happened to you?

Look, darling.

I got a race to win.

I'll be back later.

And get rid of them kittens.

I'll get rid of something.

Come on in.

Hey.

Hey.

I've got nothing
to drink except

Harvey Wallbanger and tap water.

I'm fine.

I'm sorry, Richard.

No reason to be sorry.

I should've listened to you.

All those years with Mak.

People make mistakes,
you know, and I just,

I wouldn't want someone
to give up on me.

You're always good in my book.

And I hate to lose.

Like when we ran the sack
races around my horse track?

Yeah, and Mom would
get so pissed off

because we'd come
in covered in dirt.

Daddy loved to see us race.

And I don't think I
saw him any happier.

It's so weird to think about
them being gone for so long.

Good old days.

You think I'm messed up?

No one's perfect.

Even you, big brother.

This has been an
incredible week.

Friends, new and
old, came down to

repeat the history of the track.

None of them came for me.

They were there for Magnolia.

That name means a
lot to some people.

I can't believe it took
me this long to realize.

You're gonna win
that bet tomorrow.

Mak told you?

Let's talk after the race.

You're a good man, Richard.

Even for being as
hardheaded as you are.

Just remember, we're
not getting any younger.

Thanks, Vick.

Try and get some rest.

Goodnight.

What's on fire?

I can't sleep.

What's the plan?

One drink.

Then I'd like to go see a band

at Judge Mike Florence's place.

Fine.

One drink.

I've tried to start
my own trivia game.

What happened?

Ah, the questions were
too hard for the common man.

Failed investment 78, 89?

Ah, I lost count after awhile.

You remember any
of these questions?

Yeah.

How many bones are
in a giraffe's neck?

Seven.

Lucky guess.

Give me another one.

What male animal
becomes pregnant

rather than the female?

Seahorse.

That
year in junior college

sure paid off for you.

I'm a wealth of
useless information.

Hey man, that's not
useless information.

I'm just glad to see you and
Rusty 2 are finally bonding.

Rusty keeps me focused.

Although I'm not focused
on anything right now.

Especially that guy butchering
that classical tune.

Why don't I get up there and
play a face melting solo?

And hey.

A dog track, College.

Magnolia Greyhound Racing.

I think we have a shot tomorrow.

Never give up.

We might,

we might want to watch
the drinking though.

I'm starting to feel it.

Man, this is my
creative process.

Well you know
what that calls for.

Rusty knows what it calls for.

What does it call for?

I'm throwing it out there.

I'm reeling it in, let
me get that answer.

- I know what it calls for.
- Tell me.

- Tequila.
- Tequila.

Another shot over
here for this guy.

We pull this off, Ron,

and we'll be running this town.

Then we can finally
put everything

that happened to us
up north behind us.

Yeah, in the rear view mirror.

What is this stuff?

We ain't going duck hunting
in downtown Detroit.

You gotta be kidding me, Ron.

It's for the dogs.

Dogs, what is this?

The dogs, man, we ain't
playing with them, man.

You can't be doing
this right now, Ron.

It's so we can lure them out

so it'll be easier so
we can dope them up.

No.

The dogs are in cages.

There ain't gonna be no luring
of any sort out here tonight.

Ron, you are off to a
terrible start tonight,

I can tell you that much.

Now let's see that map.

Wow, this is great, man.

This is some of your
finest work ever, Ron.

Thanks.

- Right, let's get started.
- All right.

- This is for you.
- Yep.

You gotta be kidding me.

It's gonna work, man.

Dogs love them.

We'll find out.

Hey, why didn't you tell
me the lock was unlocked?

I didn't know either.

Probably crap all
over the place, man.

Gotta watch
your step, man.

What the, oh jeez.

You were saying?

Not funny, man.

Man, these pups are loud.

Hope our cover ain't blown.

Think we should
kill this mission?

Hey buddy, there
you go, there you go.

All right.

It's not often
you surprise me,

but every dog's got
its day, I suppose.

Saved the day.

Well, we're not out of the
pen yet, man, but nice job.

I did not expect that maneuver.

Thanks, Oren.

Get your head in there
and get to work, let's go.

Hey, whoa, both of us, both.

- Drugs.
- Yeah.

All right.

Who likes peanut butter?

You like peanut butter.

Come on, man, you ain't
having a coffee, man.

- Let's get going.
- He's really cute.

That band up
there is terrible.

They're just butchering
all those classic tunes.

They should be outlawed.

You think you could do better?

I don't think so, son, I know.

Hey.

You don't have to convince me.

I believe you.

Let me just show you.

Wait, Dicky.

You don't have to
show me, it's fine.

I believe you.

What's up, Dicky?

Hey, what the hell?

What the hell?

- Dicky.
- Enough, enough.

Come on, enough, enough.

I'm just trying to give you

an honest performance for once.

Get
outta here, Dicky.

Dicky.

You okay?

Yeah, I'm fine.

Okay.

What
are you looking at,

you geriatric marshmallow?

Give me that.

Oh no.

I'm telling you, Rusty.

I'm sick of this stupid elk.

I'm sorry I'm
drinking a little bit.

But when I get to the elk,

it's gonna be between me
and him, and mostly me.

Oh, wow.

Welcome to Elkington's.

Who's laughing now, you
tick infested maggot brain?

Who's laughing now?

- Dicky, relax.
- Get off me, man.

Are you okay, Dicky?

What the hell do you
think you're doing?

I think that woman's

- calling the police.
- There's a crazy man.

- Definitely calling the cops.
- And he's hurt bad.

That guard's really
standing out too.

We gotta get outta here, fast.

How do we do that?

I'm starving.

Solid night of drinking
can do that to any man.

Normally, I like to
scope out the talent.

Make a lap round here.

But looks like we're the
only fools here at this hour.

I gotta pick up a
couple personal items.

- Hey, man.
- Hey.

What is all that stuff?

I got stuff for us
to celebrate, man.

Man, you're gonna
die of a heart attack.

I covered all the food groups.

Oh yeah, where's the carrot?

In the cake.

- Hey.
- Hey.

What the hell are
you guys wearing?

We were just on a caper.

Ain't that right, boss?

Looks like you've
been elk hunting.

This is very efficient.

It's non-reflective so we
can hide behind buildings.

Man, I told you we'd look
ridiculous in this stuff.

It's urban camouflage, man.

He gets it.

Hey, hold up, man.

Gotta get some more stuff.

All right.

Yep, do it.

Hey, you gotta think
for the both of us, man.

Put it by my left boob.

There you go, all right.

- Got it?
- Yep.

Man, you gotta be
thinking about bananas,

spinach, apples,
that's the stuff.

Banana bread.

Oh, we could get
applesauce and pork chops.

- That sounds good, man.
- Yep.

And some framboise.

Son of a bitch.

Do not move, sir,
stop right now.

Stop the cart, back
away from the cart.

Hey, don't you throw
that at me, sir.

You just added another charge.

Don't touch those Ding Dongs.

Do not touch the
Ding Dongs, sir.

Get your hands off the,

told you, hands
off the Ding Dongs.

You're gonna add charges
all night, aren't you?

That's it.

You, sir, are under
arrest for assault.

On an elk?

He started it.

Find that hard
to believe, sir,

considering he is an elk.

And for your information,
his name is Elliott.

Get over here.

You have the right
to remain silent.

I know the drill, bacon boy.

Look at this mess you've made.

You're nothing but
a bacon boy.

Speaking
of bacon, sir,

do you know what they do
to elk abusers in the can?

Dick, I'll have you out soon.

Let's get Rusty to the track.

Not today, sir.

Son, see that blue
and white over there?

I'm an undercover cop.

I've got proof,
it's in my pocket.

Check my pocket.

You can tell that
to the judge, sir.

I know people in City Hall.

- I know people in City Hall!
- Say bye.

Sorry to interrupt.

Did you or did you not

assault Elliott the Elk at
Elkington's two hours ago?

After he sexually
assaulted me and my son, yes.

That is a load of horse
shit and you know it.

You weren't even there, pig!

Say pig one more time.

- Say it one more time.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

- I swear to God.
- Thank you, sir.

Thank you, sir, we'll be
back in a few minutes.

Copinsky!

Yes, ma'am.

So tell me again
what happened.

A woman called and
said that he just

attacked Elliott in cold blood.

I hate that damn thing.

I mean, why would you want
an elk as your mascot?

Well, Native Americans
associated the elk

with bravery and
endurance, masculinity.

Besides that, I'm not sure.

Right, did you watch
the surveillance video?

Didn't have any
outside the place.

- Damn.
- I know.

It's the 21st century.

You think a place like that
would upgrade a little.

So there's no evidence.

What do you mean?

A mascot got messed
up a little but

who really cares?

I don't.

Are you serious?

That man is a lunatic
and should be locked up.

He attacked a defenseless elk.

All right, then he comes
at me two times, right?

With a rabbit and then
with a stack of Ding Dongs,

for God's sakes.

I finally get him into my car,

and he starts talking about

all the recipes he's gonna
cook when he gets home

with bacon and pork.

Mm-hmm, you get it?

Right, making all the pig
noises and everything.

If I gotta hear that pork
the pig crap one more time,

I swear to God.

I'm gonna be off my
shift in five minutes.

I'm going to the derby today.

Ain't no way I'm
missing that derby.

- Not for this.
- Yeah.

Man talked about cooking pig.

Bacon.

I like bacon.

But don't like pig noises.

Mm-mm.

Free to go, sir.

What?

Are you crazy?

It's about time.

What did you just
say to me, Copinsky?

I have never seen an officer
treat a sergeant like that.

You're free to go, sir.

Over and out.

Come on, come on.

We gotta get outta
here, let's go.

I'm coming,
I'm coming, I'm coming.

Well, at least you
dropped him like a man.

Yeah, I figured
that majestic creature

could take a punch.

Me too.

I'll take full responsibility
for hitting that elk.

But Rusty went after that cop.

I couldn't hold him back.

Savage.

I would've been out
of jail much earlier

but I'm not gonna apologize
to something I did not do.

- I did not do anything.
- Of course.

Of course, you
didn't do anything.

You know, I've always admired
how you've stuck to your guns.

Well, I did punch
that goofy eyed elk.

You were just at the wrong
place at the wrong time.

It happens.

Guess you're gonna have to
find another place to shop.

Now, get onto the track.

Hey, let's hit it.

Let
me get two beers.

You know you smell like
you spent the night in jail.

I've never been late
to a gig in my life.

Isn't this your first gig?

Son, it's your fault
that I got that drunk.

You woke me up!

Nah.

Dicky, come on,
we get out there.

We gotta go.

♪ Time to moving ♪

♪ Time to grooving ♪

♪ Time to be with you ♪

♪ No more moaning ♪

♪ No more groaning ♪

♪ We can leave this mess ♪

♪ I went down to get drunk ♪

♪ Waking up to see ♪

♪ Come back, baby ♪

Who had this?

♪ Time to set you free ♪

♪ I'm so glad ♪

♪ I'm so glad ♪

♪ I'm glad, I'm glad, I'm glad ♪

♪ I'm so glad ♪

♪ I'm so glad ♪

♪ I'm glad, I'm glad, I'm glad ♪

So, what are you
thinking about for encore?

That's your call.

That's your band out there.

You don't need me
around anymore.

What are you talking about?

I can't go back out
there without you.

Nah, son, it
works for the best.

That's your band,
that's your show,

and that's your stage.

But isn't this what
you've always wanted?

Not here.

I can't stand this place.

I got a yearning for the
freedom of an open road.

You'll understand as
you get a little older.

I don't want you to go.

It's for the best, son.

Where are you gonna go?

Anywhere but here.

Gentlemen, thank
you for coming.

Wow, this is our spot?

That's a nice table
right at the finish line.

This is the start of
something really special.

I like the sound of that.

So all went as planned.

It was a slam dunk.

Good.

Looks like I'm finally
gonna be king of this town.

Well, how about something
to wet our whistles?

What'll it be, boys?

I'll take any drink
with an umbrella in it.

A couple shooters.

- Vodka.
- Cotton candy.

All right, that's
the concession stand

but for y'all, anything.

Back in a jiff.

Thanks.

Hey, Ron.

Look at this turnout.

We might be in for a bigger
payday than we thought.

Job well done.

Great job.

You okay?

Yeah but help me up
and get me to my office.

Bartholomew, go out
there and make me proud.

Okay.

You don't want to watch the
biggest race of your life?

Tell you the truth,

I'd rather watch it
alone in my office.

I'm exhausted.

You had a pretty big week.

This place.

I'm getting outta here.

Hell, I don't know what
I was ever doing in here.

I'm retiring.

Hell of a time to tell me.

If we win tonight,

Vicky's gonna need
a lot of help.

What do you mean?

While I was wasted,
sitting in the slammer,

I saw the whole thing.

I saw the whole
kit and caboodle.

You sure
you're not still drunk?

Sober as Sally.

Well.

Before you leave, you should,

you should probably
take a shower.

Our final
race of the evening

will be the 27th running
of the Magnolia Derby.

Here are the entrants
for the finalists.

Number one.

A black and white greyhound
weighing in at 57 pounds.

Number two, Brian Bosworth.

Brown greyhound
weighing at 74 pounds.

This is it, man.

3467, super trifecta box.

I'll be back in a big way.

Red greyhound
weighing 71 pounds.

Number six, Sadie's Lucky Charm.

Black and white greyhound
weighing at 62 pounds.

Number seven, CTK Velocity.

Brown greyhound
weighing 61 pounds.

And finally, the number eight.

CK's Smoking Gun.

The brown greyhound
weighing 67 pounds.

That should do it for
the 27th Magnolia Derby.

It's two minutes until post.

Give me 500 on Rusty to win.

That bastard ain't
never lost a race.

Two
minutes until post.

♪ Let love be my crime ♪

♪ You want to bring
me a long way ♪

♪ Heartbreaker ♪

♪ Fat back, Cadillac
love maker here ♪

No.

I'd say good luck, Mak,

but I think your luck
has finally run out.

Who was that fox?

I don't know,
but it looks like

somebody's getting laid tonight.

Wait a minute,
that was my wife.

What the hell did
she mean by that?

She thinks you're gonna lose.

You better hope
she's wrong, cowboy.

Oh boy, go figure.

I gotta say, College,
you've done a tremendous job.

This place looks
better than ever.

Thanks, Vicky.

You know how much
you guys mean to me.

What numbers do we got?

One, two, five, and eight.

Boz is number two, that's
all you need to know.

And
Rusty's on the move.

Look at Rusty.

Here comes Rusty.

And the greyhounds
are out of the box.

It's the one breaking
to an early lead.

Followed by the
two, Brian Bosworth,

and of course,
Satan's Valentine.

Go, number three, you
gotta dig down deep!

And here they
go around the first turn now.

Around the first turn,
into the back stretch.

What's going on, Mak?

Those first two dogs,
man, they ain't ours.

He'll come around,
here he comes.

It's the two,
Brian Bosworth, going ahead.

And it's the five with the lead.

But the two making a move,
coming down to the wire.

Oh dear.

Come on, Boz.

It's
the two for the end!

It's 2356, Brian
Bosworth once again!

You gotta be kidding, man!

What the fuck!

Well, Mak, looks
like we are gonna

have to take a ride.

Oh, come on, guys.

This ain't the
time for excuses.

Hold on a minute here.

You just cost us everything.

Cost you, oh.

Thanks for helping
out with the track, Mak.

I told you it was
for a good cause.

Why, you dirty double crosser.

Wait a minute, darling, I
had nothing to do with it.

It's these devils here.

They're the ones you
got a problem with.

Turn me loose here.

Congratulations.

Guess we got lucky.

Well actually, luck had
nothing to do with it.

I finally got to beat
Mak at his own game.

How?

He was gonna drug your dogs

so I switched out the pills.

Guess he underestimated you.

Yeah, I'm not exactly
a halfwit, am I?

I'm gonna miss you, Vicky.

I'm gonna miss you.

I've had my turn as being
captain of this leaky ship.

Magnolia Park, it was
destined to be yours.

Should've been
yours 20 years ago.

Thank you.

I'm gonna miss you, big brother.

I'll call
you when I get settled.

Where are you gonna go?

Where the music takes me.

Feels good out.

Think I'll leave it out.

A and five, right?

It's
five alpha, take one.

Five alpha, call that 5A, 5A.

Staff and patrons, go home.

The reasons have yet
to be determined.

I'll tell you, I can see a
white ass on a white rock

on a white night.

5A, get that,
there you go, and mark it.

Beautiful, keep the
pen, don't throw it out.

You
gotta help us, Bruce.

Bruce,
you gotta help us.

We only weigh a little.

I'm slipping.

Pineapples, why do
we have pineapples?

'Cause we have dentists.

That's the way it's
supposed to be.

Second set, 42
charlie, take one, second set.

You should probably
take a shower.

With who, Brett?

Oh no.

You're actually shopping.

I think this is the beginning
of a beautiful partnership.

Agreed.

That's my car, someone's
trying to break into it.

But I don't care, there's
nothing of value in there.

Let's go, you're up.

Listen, here's my plan.

Oh, sorry.

Well, God almighty, it
was a pretty good plan

if you just give it a minute.

Be right with you.

This big cat has nine
lives, and on my count...

Guess I'll just stand
here like a schmuck.

Just forever.

Like a real tool.

This is the most
dangerous hole on the course.

Yeah, ain't it ever.

I've seen men
knocked over by a ball.

Well, you ain't gonna
see this man knocked over.

Like I said, man, stand back.

Cut, they've put socks.

They've got socks.

I'm coming, oh jeez.

The nuclear power plant.

The reason the tires tug.

Okay, that's
a cut, that's a cut.

Oh jeez.

Put on, put
on, put on, put on.

Milk.

Cheese frog, cheese
frog, cheese frogs.

Put on, put on, put on.

Milk.

You hear me?

Cut.

Hey, we're almost there.

Go home.

Have a nice day, all you...