Head Above Water (2018) - full transcript

- Okay, let's get into it.

131873 is my number.

This is Ben Fordem on 2GB.

Let's switch our focus right now to the

S-Bay Surfing Championships
in New South Wales.

This is going to be huge.

We've got two of the
world's biggest surfers

going head to head for the championship.

Benji Halt, the Sydney boy.

Crazy about surfing
since the very beginning.

Found by a talent scout



and taken all the way to the top.

- How you feeling?
- Yeah, I'm feeling alright.

I've been working pretty hard so...

I was at it yesterday,
there was a 15 foot swell

and that was good because
there was north-southerly

coming in and I like
to stand up on my board

with my stance, so--

- [Reporter] You got any advice for
anyone coming up the ranks in surfing?

- There's no substitute
for hard work, you know.

You just gotta get out there in the surf,

put in the hours, day
in, day out, you know.

I remember back when I was a little grommy

and I used to skip
school to surf, you know.

This is my passion, I love it so much.



- [Reporter] Ricky's won
it the last five years,

how do you feel going into

this year's competition against him?

- I'm gonna try my best
and that's all I can do.

- Voted honorary Indian
of the Year in 2015,

he's a multi-award winner, Benji Halt.

He promises to put up a
hell of a fight today.

Up against him, his rival, Ricky Scrotun.

Ricky's been surfing since the age of 8

and as the story goes, Ricky
was so poor growing up,

he surfed in his very first contest

on a piece of corrugated iron.

He won that day and became
an instant celebrity.

(girls shrieking)

Ricky Scrotun, founder of
the leading underwear giant,

Scrotun's For Your Scrotum.

- Passion.

Competition.

Australia.

Scrotun's for Your Scrotum will make you

glide faster in the water

and last longer in the bedroom.

I wear Scrotun's because
it's good for my scrotums.

Use the coupon code PEN15

and you can get them like
hecks cheap and stuff

Good luck next week, Halt.

You're gonna need it.

- [Reporter] You've been
competing with Benji Halt

for the last five years and beaten him,

how do you feel going into
a sixth year against him?

- I'm feeling pretty confident, you know.

Body's feeling good,
legs are pretty polished.

- Away from the surfing
career and business empire,

Ricky has recently become an ambassador

to save our marine life,

which protects our oceans.

Two men, one prize.

Who's it going to be today?

Ricky, who's won 17 championships;

Benji, who's claimed 11.

Will it be the underdog
story that Benji's hoping for

or will Ricky once again
slice the competition,

just like his foot was sliced that day

on the piece of corrugated iron?

It's gonna be a big one, don't miss it.

(waves crashing)

- The S-bay International is the world's

most renowned surfing competition.

I mean, just even sitting
there in the audience

is just such an honour, you know.

And then, as a surfer,

it's like something
you've never experienced.

It's the ying yang.

Getting into S-Bay is why a lot of people

start surfing in the first place.

- S-Bay 2015 was bigger and
better than any year we've had.

The crowds there were amped

and the athletes were
on top of their game.

I'm a surfer just come out
of six months in rehab,

so the scheduling worked out well.

I got my commentating job back,

no complaints from my end.

(crowds cheering)

- Benji, Benji, how you feeling today?

You feel nervous?

- Yeah, look mate, I'm
a little bit nervous

but I've been practising hard

so I'm mentally and physically
ready for this, yeah.

- Any special strategies for this, mate?

- Benji was extremely nervous.

I mean, he usually gets anxious

before going into a competition

but there's something about Ricky

that really freaked him out.

- Ricky Scrotun.

Ricky fucking Scrotun.

Yeah, that's your name mate.

- The feet,

yeah.

The whole feet thing just really
throws Benji off his game.

- Well, this could be a
scientific breakthrough

for the human body.

Ricky Scrotun has not been
able to walk for three months,

ever since he cut his feet
on a piece of corrugated iron

while surfing in a local
swimming competition.

The cuts were so severe
that doctor's had no choice

but to amputate Ricky's feet,

leaving him stumpier than
the 28 year old oak tree

in my front yard.

Though today, with the magic of science,

he had bionic feet surgically attached,

allowing him to walk again.

- [Reporter] So, how
does the new feet feel?

- Very comfortable and great.

- [Reporter] And now
that you can walk again,

what did you wanna do?

- Well, I miss surfing and I
wanna continue surfing again.

- Yeah, you got this.

Oh yeah, five time champion.

Five time champion, mates.

Who needs legs mate?

Who needs 'em?

Not you.

Not

you!

- That was Billabong.

They're gonna sponsor you if you win.

- Oh finally, we've been
chasing those guys for ages.

- That'll be a nice little paycheck.
- Yeah, I reckon.

So, did they say what
time the press junket was?

I forgot to ask her.

- They've moved it after the comp,

I'm still waiting for Terry to
give us the passes to get in.

- I thought he posted them out last week?

- Yeah, he was supposed to but maybe...

Benji, we better get you ready quick.

Come on.

- [Ricky] Halt!

- Don't let him get into your head.

- You ready to get wet?

- What?

- Get wet.

Out in water.

In the ocean.

- Uh, yeah.

I'm ready to get wet with you, Ricky.

- Wax up, mate.

- Fuckin' weirdo.

- That's fine.

- We all knew Benji was inferior to Ricky

but of all the places to be on edge,

he had to choose S-Bay.

He was doomed from the start.

(upbeat music)

(crowd cheering)

(crowd cheering)

- This live broadcast is brought you by

Scrotun's For Your Scrotum.

I'm Mac O'Brien and I'll
be solo commentating today

because my co-host hit
the Jaegers far too hard

and is now sleeping in.

- Benji.

Let's go pro.

- Alright, let's do this.

We getting paid for this?

- No, we will be.

- Good placement, mate.

- I got this.

- Well, the Scrotun togs Ricky was wearing

were, um, very...

big.

- [Reporter] No, I mean, what
did you think about the race?

- Oh, um, Ricky was looking good.

- And that goes there.

Alright, beautiful.

Wish me luck, mate.

Thank you.

(crowds cheering)

- The final seconds before a competition

is most vital for an athlete.

It's when you got the most nerves

but it's how you channel
those nerves into the surf.

- Benji Halt and Ricky Scrotun

in their starting positions.

The sun is out and the crowds are growing.

Ricky there, wearing his
Scrotun's For Your Scrotum,

available now Australia wide.

Just $19.95, when you use the coupon code

P-E-N-1-5.

- Hope you're ready, Halt.

I'm about to fuck you.

I mean, like on the waves.

I'm gonna fuck you up.

- I think you're under on
the fucking today, brother.

- Ah, you couldn't fuck
me if you wanted to.

- Well, I want to.

- Yeah, well, don't
waste your breath, bitch,

'cause you're gonna need it.

- Alright.

- We can see Benji and Ricky

wishing each other a good luck there.

- Hey Halt, do you kiss
your mother with those lips?

- I kiss the heaps of women I get, mate.

(laughs)

- No, you don't get any women, mate.

- More than you, fuckhead.

- No.

I get heaps of women.

You're looking at the
five time nominee for

Maximus' World's Hottest Man.

Girls love me, man.

- Yeah, but like, you've also got those

weird, sort of cyborg feet

and you've got a tiny nut sack,

so like, I think that
kind of makes you a bit

nowhere as a bloke so you're
a little bit irrelevant here.

(crowds cheering)

- [Mac] It's lovely to see them getting
along before the big competition.

- Yeah well, I fucked your
mom with my cyborg dick

and then I made her lick
my nut sack and then,

and then I said, "Yeah, I'm Ricky Scrotun"

and I shoved my scrotum in her face.

(crowds cheering)

And then she ate my asshole

and then I put my cyborg leg onto her face

and I said, "Yeah, I'm the
world's surfing champion."

Good luck, Halt. You're gonna need it.

- Here we go, the S-Bay
Internationals 2015.

And it's under way.

Both surfers are paddling
out to meet their destiny.

And it's Benji in the lead, oh wait!

Here he comes, Ricky!

Ricky Scrotun!

- Ricky's bionic feet were like flippers.

They helped him paddle faster.

- Was it cheating?

Yeah.

It was.

But no one was gonna say anything.

I mean, he just had his feet amputated.

Cut the guy some slack.

Just uh, don't cut off
any more of his limbs.

- Here goes Ricky, his
first wave for today.

There goes Ricky!

Ricky Scrotun!

He's killing it out there!

(crowds cheering)

Here comes Benji Halt.

Now interesting to see how he fends today.

Halt! Oh! Benji Halt, here he comes!

180! How do you like
those scrotums, Ricky?

How do you like that
scrotum in your mouth, huh?

You like that?

Then, another word from our sponsor,

Scrotun's for your Scrotum.

(suspense-building music)

Oh, oh, oh Benji,

oh yes you did!

(applause)

Ricky with the reverse cowabunga!

Benji seems to be a little
preoccupied right now

with Ricky dominating
him on the leader board.

(crowd cheers)

- With the competition nearly over,

Benji really needs to get some points

on the scoreboard here.

(crowd screams)

- Everyone just froze.

The officials, the crowd,
the other competitors,

everyone.

- Is that a shark?

It's a shark!

(crowd screams)

- It was

quite a nightmare.

Just seeing him helpless
out there, it was,

it was just out of this world.

- Surfers always expect
they might see a shark

but never expect anything would happen.

I remember thinking that
could have been any of us.

Yeah, it gives me chills.

(jet ski engine)

(helicopter blades)

(dramatic music)

- We are still waiting for confirmation,

ladies and gentlemen,
but it seems apparent

that Benji has been attacked by a shark.

Holding out now, the crowd is tense,

there are nerves all over the grounds.

Lifeguards do seem to
have him, he seems okay.

They're gonna be bringing him in.

We'll have to wait for confirmation.

- Benji, Benji, can you tell
us what happened out there?

- Man, I dunno.

I just sort of saw this shadow behind me,
I think it was a shark, I dunno,

I just saw it out there, I dunno.

I dunno, man, I was just...

- How did you possibly survive?

- I dunno, man, I just
saw this shadow behind me

and then I punched it,

and then I just crawled
on the board and I just...

Fuck.

- Benji, you're a hero.

- Watching what happened on TV,

I'd just started lunch.

It was

so awful.

I kept pinching myself, saying,
"It's only a nightmare."

(dramatic music)

- Okay, give me some room,

give me some room.

(dramatic music)

(crowd cheers)

- This just seems too crazy to be true.

Surfer Benji Halt has
been attacked by a shark

while competing at the
S-bay Internationals.

There is horrific footage
coming through to our news room.

It shows that he survived the attack

but he's very lucky.

Witnesses say he punched the shark

before being rescued by life guards.

- Breaking news from the
S-bay Internationals now.

- Surfer Benji Halt has
been attacked by a shark.

(foreign language)

- Benji was attacked

while surfing against
rival, Ricky Scrotun.

(foreign language)

- As horrific as this footage
is, he survived the attack

by punching the shark.

- By punching the shark.

(foreign language)

(crowds cheering)

- [Mac] How brave do
you think he is, Josh?

- [Josh] He's gotta be
one of the bravest guys,

I can't believe he did that.

He's a man of steel.

- [Ben] Harriet, you're up next.

Go right ahead.

- [Harriet] Ben, I just wanna say
how much of a great sport that Benji is,

I watched that video and I
just couldn't believe it,

he is so brave.

What an amazing man!

(upbeat electronic music)

Benji is just a hero,

he should be our next
Australian of the Year.

(girls screaming)

- I just can't believe
it, he's like my idol.

I just can't believe it.

He's so much more beautiful in real life,

oh my God!

- So my followers, what's up?

Obviously I'm a hero now,

just riding the wave to success.

- Hi you all, it's Frenchie here.

So I just heard about old
Benji Halt punching a shark.

- Just wanna give a big
shout-out to my boy, Benji Halt.

- Benji Halt, you are the man, son.

- You're a dead set hero, mate.

Love your work.

(thrilling music)

- Zac, have you ever seen
anything like this before?

- [Zac] Hi, I haven't, mate.

Words can't describe the way
I'm feeling at the moment.

This guy's like an Australian
hero to me, I mean,

the danger here in being
to act the way he did,

I mean, I just don't know what to say.

I'm speechless.

- Good day guys, Benji
Halt here, national hero.

Self-defense is incredibly important,

it's even more important out of the water,

that's why it's incredibly
important that you go out

and purchase my Miren Defence DVD Boxset

for the small price of $398.

Come on, guys, Benji Halt here,

now I know I've told you guys
I'd only ever get a tattoo

if I found something that
had a lot of meaning to me

so I know you guys are
gonna love this one.

Alright, let's go.

(upbeat music)

- I love him so much,

words can't describe how much I love him.

(Woman screaming)

- Yeah, it gets a bit like that,
you don't realise how good you look

until you see your head
on a magazine, I guess.

(girls screaming)
(laughs)

- Oh, shut up (laughs).

Whoo!

Yeah!

I'm Benji Halt and I'm a national hero.

I never thought I'd be so rich and famous,

just like that shark,

I never saw it coming.

But now that I am a hero,
I wanna exploit you.

Which is why I reckon you should buy this,

Sharkade.

Buy yours today

and get the fuck amongst it.

- Well, ladies and gents,

I'm so excited to introduce
the shark puncher himself,

Mr. Benji Halt.

(applause)

Hello!
- Hello.

- So how are you?

How you going?

I must say, I'm very excited
to have you on the show.

I've been looking forward to this one.

- Yeah, yeah, cheers.

What are you called, again?

- I'm Kate.

- Oh yeah.

(laughing)

Yeah.

- Been hanging out with
too many ladies, have we?

- Yeah, so many.
- So, yes.

- It starts to all really
blend together, really,

its ridiculous.

Is that a couple out there?

(cheers)

- Yes, the ladies are very excited.

- Yeah, no, I've hooked
up with her before, yeah.

- Oh, okay. (awkward laugh)

So tell us,

so international celebrity, shark puncher,

I've had loads of questions coming in

but really, what's on all
of the ladies' lips is

are you single?

- I am.

(laughing)

- Really? Well, I have to say,

I was out shopping the other
day and I saw this cover.

"Sexiest man of the year" being voted.

As you can see, the
ladies are really excited.

So tell us about Ricky Scrotun then.

So, what are your thoughts on him?

- Bit of a strange question,

I would have thought
this would be about me

but um--

- Well, we like to mix it up a bit,

it can't all be about you.

- Yeah, so they say.

Right so, yeah, no, Ricky, he's um...

Look, I've spent a lot of time with him,

went up in the junior ranks with him

so you know, been with him since day one.

But you know, one thing that
I find strange about Ricky,

and I feel like I'm going crazy,

I might be the only one that notices this

but he's got those bionic feet, of course,

and everyone knows this but he
classes himself as disabled.

Like he's got the disabled park on a car

but he actually skied a
wave last year in Maui

and he's the first guy I've ever seen

win a surf championship
without a surfboard,

and I thought was pretty strange.

- So you question his integrity, really.

Like his morals, fact.
- No, not his morals.

More the fact that he's like, half cyborg.

- Okay so what can you do?

I guess you've gotta outperform him.

(laughs)

- Yeah, well, I certainly do
that in the bedroom. (laughs)

- We can imagine.

- Yeah, yeah. No, it's true.

It's true.

Anyway, that reminds me,
I better get out of here.

- Oh, are you off?

Oh well, we still had five minutes.

- Ah well (laughs) That's
your loss, not mine.

(laughs)

- Okay, well great to see you.

- Benji Halt was the hottest
thing around Australia.

He was a superstar.

He was the shark puncher.

- The international support
that Benji received was amazing.

I just, I can't describe it any other way.

- Thank you all for coming out today

to celebrate something
that can only be described

as an act of pure courage.

This year, by no surprise to any of us,

the St. Michael's Award
for Bravery goes to

a Mr. Benji Halt.

And before I forget,

don't forget to vote in your July election

for your Councilwoman Andrews, yes, yes.

Anyway, have a lovely day.

- Yeah, no one cares, love.

Thanks so much for coming out

and seeing me in person.

It must be overwhelming for most of you

but it will subside.

Now, this award means so much to me

but what means most is the fact

that you all got to come
out and see me in the flesh.

And this is something that
I will probably forget

but you certainly won't
forget this moment.

So...

Yeah, catch you later.

Have a good one.

Thanks mate. Cheers.
- Cheers.

Here's to you.

- Did you ever think when you
first signed me as a client

that I'd be receiving a bravery award?

- Well, it never came up in the contract,

so no, not at all.

I'm still surprised you
graduated high school.

- I reckon it's gonna look
pretty nice on my mantelpiece,

next to my honorary
Indian of the Year token.

- Yeah, I was never sure
how you won that award?

- Benji, how's it going?

Collin Mednes.

- Oh, hi man. How are you?

- Pete.

- Good going.

Congratulations on the award.

Well deserved, mate.

I'm a film producer with Global Pictures.

As you know, your incredible story

has reached an international audience

and with your agreement,

we'd like to meet up with you
to develop a movie about you.

- Wow.
- You serious?

- Yeah, they're thinking a drama-thriller,

based on the struggle
of making your living

as a professional surfer

and beating the odds of
fighting off a shark.

Call it Fighting For Breath,

based on the true story of Benji Halt.

We'll get Chris Nolan to direct it,
make it all dark and gritty,

like his Batman films.

- Well, I love those movies.

- Yeah well, maybe we should uh,

we'll orgainse a meeting next week,

talk through details.

Benji's schedule's
really hectic right now.

- Yeah, most definitely.

Here are my contact details,

call me tomorrow and
we'll organise something.

- Alright.

- Hey mate, before you go,

who's gonna star as me in the movie?

Do you know that yet or...

- Well, don't tell anyone,

it's still under wraps.

He had to turn down
Interstellar 2 for this film.

Academy Award winning
actor, Matthew Mcconaughey.

- Oh.

- He'll be in touch.

- He'll be in touch.

- Just seems so unlikely.

- Well, I think it's gonna be pretty good.

Well, I don't think it's gonna be good,

I don't really think it's gonna be great,

but I think getting someone
like Matthew Mcconaughey

to play me in a movie

is gonna be alright, alright, alright.

- How many of those has he had?

Just, that's enough.

- Benji Halt was overflowing with success.

I mean, one week he's
a professional surfer,

the next, he's signing bloody movie deals.

I mean, he was on top of the world.

- I'd just like to extend
my support to Benji Halt.

We are rivals out on the waves

but what he did, his bravery,

he's earned my respect.

- Are you annoyed the
competition was called a tie,

even though you were
ahead on the scoreboard?

- No. I fully endorse marine wildlife

but Benji was attacked by a shark.

A fucking shark.

Do I need to spell it out for you?

- If you want, sure.

- Well, I can't actually spell.

Joke's on you. (snickers)

- What would you have done
if you'd been attacked?

- You know what, nothing's
gonna attack me with these.

(knock on steel)

Pretty indestructible.

Super dense metallic aluminium
alloyed steel casing,

no match for a shark.

No match for a plane.

No match for an atomic bomb.

Yeah, they tested it. Still standing.

- Hey guys, how you going?

- [Children] Hi.

Little bit more enthusiasm, come on!

Yes, that's right.

Okay, let's start things off.

So, your stance needs
to be a balance between

your front weight and
your back weight, okay.

So angle your legs roughly
out at 45 degrees, okay.

Just yeah, stay low at
45 degrees there, yeah.

- How do you punch a shark?

- (laughs) Yeah, a good question, mate.

You just gotta punch it
with your forearm, okay,

that's where the strength comes from.
So let's all practise that, guys.

Bang,

bang,

bang,

bang.
- Benji,

- Bang.
- Benji.

Ah, take a break guys,

Benji will be with you in one second.

- Keep doing that guys, that's great,
keep it up, good stuff.

What's up?

I just had a call from one
of the S-Bay officials.

- What happened?

- Well, he wants us to come
in and have a chat with him.

- I thought they wanted to
leave the competition as a tie,

something about being attacked by a shark.

- Yeah, I dunno what they want.

- Great work, guys. Keep it up.

That's really good, I love it.

- For someone who'd been
treated like a hero for so long,

Benji had no idea what was coming.

- I just remember getting off
the phone with the officials,

they seemed really concerned.

I just wanted to get Benji

and get over there to meet
them as soon as possible.

- Ah, Mr. Halt, Pete.

How are you?

- Yeah man, I think I'll be a bit better
when I know what this is about.

- Of course but first, as you can see,

we've done a full reconstruction here.

We've got rid of a wall,
made room for some more desks

and then we got wireless internet

throughout the entire office.

Wireless internet, it is the future.

- So, what's this about.

- Well, it's quite simple really.

Basically, no more cables.

Wireless internet magically going

throughout the whole office,
you know, no more 56k.

100, 200...

Right, sorry, you're not talking

about the wireless internet,
you're talking about the compeition.

- Yes.
- Right.

Of course, this way.

- Is this fuckhead serious?

- Hey, hey, be nice.

- Well, yesterday we had
the animal rights union

come in to take a closer
look at the attack.

- Well, they better not be suing us.

That punch was clearly
self-defense. (laugh)

- Well, you're gonna have
to take that up with them.

Anyway, we had a look
at some of the footage

that was on the camera
that Benji was wearing

and it looks like it wasn't
a shark that attacked you.

- What?
- What?

- It was a dolphin.

Tina, would you please?

Take a look for yourself.

We had some marine biologists
confirm the footage

and they determined
that there was a school

of tuna fish swimming beneath you

and the dolphin was chasing it.

It must have bumped into you,

you think it was a shark
and you punched it.

Right there, there it was.

- But dolphins don't eat tuna,

they eat mackerel.

- Yeah, I haven't studied dolphins but--

- But the marine biologist has?

- Yeah, yip. But I did say chasing,

so they weren't actually eating.

- Just fun.
- Just for fun.

They were just having a laugh.

They just, I don't know what
they do in the water but

it would be pretty boring.

- So is the dolphin alright?

- Um...

No. It's not good.

- Oh sweet baby Jesus.

- I don't know how to break it to you.

Its not looking good.

You punched it right in the face and

there's more to it

but I'm not gonna go into anymore details

for a sensitive topic in front of Tina.

- Sorry about this.

Sorry about this mate, you didn't know.

It's not your fault.

I mean, you punched a dolphin

but it's not your fault
that you punched a dolphin.

- In the nose. Good shot, though.

- Okay, we'll manage this.

This is okay.

- [Official] It's fine.

- This is not okay.

- Well, it's not okay because,

yeah, it's because the animal rights union

is suing you for punching a dolphin.

- Oh great.

- Ah man.

Are you serious now?

- Yeah, I'm serious.

I'm not joking about that.

That is absolutely true.

- That's alright, we'll manage this.

It's okay.

The chicks will still love you, Halt.

- Well, might just move him out the way.

Don't want Flandis to get hit.

- You called the dolphin Flandis?

- Yeah, Flandis from Sim6.

Don't you think it resembles to a degree?

- I really wanna punch
you in the fucking head.

- Try.

- That's not gonna look good.

Dolphins, humans.

Just go easy on the punching from now on.

He's not usually like this,

it's just, yeah...

- I'm screwed.

I'm screwed.
- You're not.

- [Official] You guys will sort this out.

- I'm screwed. I'm screwed.

- [Official] You'll sort it out.

Tea, anyone?

- Yeah, um--

- [Official] Green? Jasmine?

- Have you got any Chai?

That will calm you a little bit,
yeah, we'll try, yeah?

- I don't wanna try.

I don't wanna try.

- You don't wanna try?
- I don't wanna try it.

- [Official] Okay, coffee then?

- I don't want your shit,

I don't want it.

I don't want anything.

- Oh, well, dinner? I dunno.

- Once we were out,

we were fucked.

- Well, you remember the
story of the shark attack

from the other day?

We've got an update for you right now.

It turns out it wasn't a
shark that Benji Halt punched,

but a bottle-nosed dolphin.

- And in other news today,

it has been announced that at this year's

popular S-bay surfing
competition, Benji Halt--

- Benji Halt--

(foreign language)

- Actually punched a dolphin.

- Punched a dolphin.

(foreign language)

- [Crowd] Stop Benji Halt!

Stop Benji Halt!

Stop Benji Halt!

Stop Benji Halt!

- Harriet, take it away.

- [Harriet] Ben, I just
had to call in to say

how disappointed I am.

I just can't believe it.

He should be ashamed of himself

and, you know, I think
he needs to come out

and make a public apology, you know.

I just, I can't believe it.

- Well, who doesn't like
dolphins, seriously?

- The proposed film, Fighting For Breath,

based on the true story of Benji Halt,

has officially been cancelled.

- I support animal welfare.

It's wrong what he's doing,

it's really terrible, I hate it.

- [Ben] You've seen the footage,

we now know it was a dolphin.

- [Person On The Phone] I can't
believe Benji would do this,

I'm shocked.

I just feel like he's
tricked all of Australia.

- This is an outrage, it's an injustice.

We will be suing Benji
Halt for what he has done,

he will be going away for it.

- [Reporter] Benji! Benji!

- Ah, fuck off, mate.

- Benji Halt, how the fuck
could you punch a dolphin?

They are noble fucking creatures.

- Benji, just fuck off, mate.

No one likes you.

- Do you know how many
times I've pretended

to be a dolphin trainer to impress girls?

Didn't work but, good on
me for having a crack.

- Benji is disgusting.

How do you think you can punch a dolphin

and get away with it? You can't.

- [Person On The Phone] Good afternoon.

I feel, I feel pretty devastated, mate.

I've been a long-time dolphin lover,

I went to Sea World when I was a kid

and these are my favourite animal

and to see my sporting hero turn out

to punch one of them.

I just, I dunno what to say.

I feel like a knife
through the heart, mate.

- [Reporter] Benji, Benji,
can you make a comment?

- No, man, no, I don't
wanna talk right now.

- [Reporter] Anything about
the accusations, Benji?

- No mate, I'm just going,

I'm just trying to go for a walk, mate.
Just leave me alone.

- Oh, hello dolphin!

- (clicks) Please don't
punch me like Benji did!

- Oh don't worry, I won't punch you.

Don't punch anyone.

Especially not dolphins.

(dolphin clicks)

- I just wanna apologise
to all my followers,

I didn't realise it was a dolphin.

You know, I'm sorry.

- This studio cannot
associate with animal cruelty.

We also apologise to Matthew Macconaughey

for turning down
Interstellar 2 for this film.

- It really blew up in Benji's face

but the worst part was
when Ricky found out.

- You have to remember,
Ricky was the founder

of the marine animal rights community.

He felt very strongly
about animal welfare.

- [Reporter] So, Ricky,
you heard the news?

- The news?

Oh, the news about Benji
Halt punching a dolphin.

That news?

Yes, I heard the fucking news.

Look if Benji Halt wants to
go around punching dolphins,

that's his choice

but don't expect me, a lover
of all marine wildlife,

to stand by and fucking let him off.

Halt, you wanna punch something, mate?

Punch me and see what happens.

- Ricky lost it.

He really lost it.

Can you blame him?

- I made sure Benji stayed
well clear of Ricky.

(crowds shouting)

- So Benji's on the board,

the fin's coming, the
dolphin, and he's there.

He must have put his back into it

and this huge uppercut down.

No, that feels weird.

Maybe it was more like,

he's in the position, lower back...

- Yeah, I know things are
really crazy right now

but they'll settle down, I promise.

- [Vince] Ready, here he comes!

- Well, I've got it under control so...

Don't make any decisions just now--

- [Vince] Anyway, it's coming,

he's getting ready, he's seeing it.

- It was Billabong.

You'll be fine.

- [Vince] And we return
now to breaking news.

You may have thought that
a poor innocent dolphin

being punched is bad enough,

well we've just received confirmation,

the dolphin is now in a coma

and has washed upon shore.

- Oh my God.

- [Vince] Lisa has more.

- Yes Vince.

Well, it appears Benji Halt
punches extremely hard.

The bottle-nosed dolphin
fell into a concussion

following the punch during

the very popular surfing
competition yesterday

and this morning, washed onto shore.

Biologists from Sea World
were onto the scene quickly

and they took the animal
back here to Quarantine Bay

where, as you can see behind me,

biologists and indeed the world are hoping

the animal wakes from the coma sooner

rather than later.

This has been Lisa Thompson
for Channel 6 News,

back to you, Vince.

- [Vince] Thank you, Lisa.

And remember, tweet your
condolences with the hashtag

#welovedolphins

- You know that saying,
the shit hits the fan?

Well, for Benji, the shit
kept hitting the fan.

First the world hated him
for punching a dolphin,

then they hated him even more

when they found out the
dolphin was in a coma.

- I went down to the
fruit market yesterday.

They refused to serve me
because I'm related to Benji.

If disowning my son means

that they'll serve me at the shops again,

then I guess I have a lot of paperwork

to fill out this afternoon.

- What do I do then?

I can't even take a piss without
someone blowing up about it.

- Just calm down, right.

We've just gotta think
carefully about our next move.

I'll organise a driver
and we'll go to my office

and we'll just sort this shit out, okay?

(cell phone rings)

- Hello?

- [Ricky] Halt.

- Ricky?

It's Ricky.

- Hang up!

- I've got this.

- [Ricky] How dare you?

You put that dolphin into a coma.

I'm coming for you, Halt.

You

are

dead.

- He's coming for me.

- Everyone was worried what
Ricky might do to Benji.

It was trying times.

- It was all just getting too much.

Benji was a ticking time bomb.

I mean, I don't blame him

but yeah, took everything
I had to keep it together.

It was difficult.

- Just to Ninth Avenue thanks.

- Benji Halt?

Is that Benji in the back?

- Yeah, it's me.

Nice to know I've still got a few fans--

- Get the fuck out of the
taxi, you dolphin puncher.

Get out.

Get out!

- [Crowd] Dolphin puncher!

Dolphin puncher!

- Benji!

- [Crowd] Dolphin puncher!

Dolphin puncher!
- Benji, wait!

- [Crowd] Dolphin puncher!

- He finally cracked.

The time bomb went off.

- I knew if Benji was left by himself,

he might do something, you know, crazy

but I had a good idea
of where he was going.

- Hey there.

I just thought I should check up on you.

I'm sorry for the punch,

I didn't mean to hit you that hard,

I did a bit of Tae Kwon Do in high school

but I never thought
you'd be on the back end

of one of my left hooks, to be honest.

I want you to know,

I am really sorry about this, mate. I am.

I just, I just can't deal with everyone

hating on me at the moment, you know?

It's too much.

My own mother's trying to disown me.

She actually emailed me
a form I had to sign,

can you believe it?

I'll show you.

If you ever wake up,
I'll show you the form.

I need you to pull through, little fellow.

We all need you to pull through.

Don't you go into the light,

you've got too much to offer this world.

See they're just calling
you Dolphin in here.

We've gotta give you a new
name, that's no respect.

You've got some pretty strange
looking chompers there, mate.

I'm gonna call you Colgate.

So sorry for putting
you in a coma, Colgate.

(sobs)

(mumbles)

Such a beautiful soul.

Very salty face, sorry.

Shit, your face is salty.

You always this salty, mate, or what?

- [Ricky] Get away from the dolphin.

- Ah shit.

Security.

- Get the fuck away from it.

- Ricky, no, I'm making amends.

- Get away from the dolphin!

- Why don't you show some respect, mate?

(yelling)

- How dare you, Halt?

How dare you touch one of
God's most majestic creatures?

- I didn't mean it, you
know I didn't mean to do it.

You know this.

- Punch me.

Punch me!

Punch me.
- What?

- Like you punched this
beautiful, innocent dolphin.

Go on!

- I'm not gonna punch you.

- Punch me!

- I'm not gonna punch you,
I'm not gonna punch you.

I'm not gonna punch
you, I'm making amends.

I'm making amends.

- I will avenge you.

(scream of pain)

- Oh!

Goddammit.

- That's what you get, Halt.

That's what you get.

Never touch a dolphin again.

- Every athlete fights their
rivals from time to time,

but if Ricky Scrotun was my rival,

you wouldn't catch me fighting him.

Have you seen the size of his feet?

- Oh God, not the feet.

- I'm doing it fucking today.

Mammal on mammal, just how you like it.

(grunting)

(mumbling)

- Let him go, Ricky.

- Shit!

Hey, don't shoot me, shoot him.

- Stand up.

- Oh no, not the feet.

- Put your foot down.

Now!

Put your foot down now.

- Never.

- I said put your foot down now.

- He deserves this.

- Don't make me shoot.

- Never.

- Put your foot down now, Ricky.

I'll shoot.

Put it down now.

- Shoot me.

- Well, if you thought this story

couldn't get any stranger, it just has.

Today, Ricky Scrotun shot dead by police,

whilst trying to kill
rival surfer, Benji Halt.

- You can say what you
like about Ricky Scrotun

but he was passionate
about marine wildlife.

Deadly passionate.

No pun intended.

I'm sorry, that was inappropriate.

- The death of any person is a tragedy,

but the death of a world class surfer,

that is next level.

- Ricky Scrotun is a hero.

He died defending animal rights,

he died supporting his beliefs,

he will never be forgotten.

- Not many people live
life like Ricky Scrotun.

On one side, he was a world class surfer.

A millionaire who live the high life

but there was another side to Ricky.

He was the founder of the
animal rights community

and he fought passionately to
maintain the pristine life.

Unfor...

Un...

Excuse me?

This is funeral service.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah, mate,
I'm gonna take him out

for one last wave, alright.

No, no, no, but don't let me stop you,

you're doing a great job, mate.
Just keep talking, do it, yeah.

- Unfortunately...

Unfortunately,

this belief got the better of him

when police shot him dead,

fighting for his belief.

Today, we lay Ricky to rest

in the one place he truly loved.

- It was all Benji's idea.

I think it was his way of
apologising to everyone

for everything that had happened.

He needed closure and to
pay his respect to Ricky.

- I must admit, I did
find it quite touching.

You know, its a lovely way for two rivals

to release a build up
of tension and move on.

Well, not for Ricky, obviously.

(slow, sad music)

- We leave Ricky in the ocean.

Whether it was protecting
the animals or surfing,

Ricky loved the ocean.

(dramatic music)

- I'm sorry.

- Just like that, Benji Halt
was taken out of this world

by the same animal he thought

he punched the first time around.

- I mean, what can I say?

- Well, I only just finished

sending off the disownment forms.

- Once again, truth is
stranger than fiction.

Today, Benji Halt was
attacked and killed by a shark

while he was paying respects
to his rival, Ricky Scrotun.

Earlier in the week,

Benji punched a dolphin
thinking it was a shark

but this time, there is
absolutely no mistake.

He died instantly.

- I mean, I guess you
could say it was fitting

how it all wraps up.

Don't get me wrong, I miss Benji every day

but I think it's how he
would have wanted to go.

In the powerful jaws of a
15 foot Great White shark.

(waves crashing)

- As for the dolphin, he
eventually woke up from his coma

and was released back into the ocean.

- God has given us a miracle today.

This beautiful dolphin has woken up.

We're in the final stages
of getting him home

and we've tagged him so
we can keep track of him

for the next few weeks.

(crowds cheering)

- After about a week,
the animal rights union

checked up on the dolphin

and had a look at the tracking data.

- Turns out, three days
after being released

back into the wild, Colgate
the dolphin was harpooned

by a Japanese whaling vessel.

- Unluckiest fucking dolphin on earth.

- And just like that, it's over.

The craziest rivalry in surfing history.

- Out of respect, the surfing union

erected a statue at S-Bay to commemorate

the events of Ricky Scrotun, Benji Halt

and bottle-nosed dolphin.

- The statue was very...

generous.

- Benji really did respect
Ricky and vice versa.

They were rivals and
they pushed each other

to the top of national surfing.

You're only as good as your own rival

and I think the mutual
respect was definitely there.

- Yeah man, I'm feeling pretty good.

I've been working real hard, obviously,

and I'm hoping that at some
point I can quit my day job

because you know, surfing is my life,

it is my passion

and I've met a lot of cool dudes,

there's a lot of talented
guys coming through as well,

like in particular, I've
become quite good friends

with a guy called Ricky Scrotun.

He's a guy I really admire, you know,

like, he's got a bit of
adversity in his life,

he's got these knarly bionic feet,

but that doesn't stop him
charging out in the waves

and I've got so much respect
and admiration for the dude.

- Look, I'm on the up, I
think, but he's the man to beat

and I have a lot of respect for him

and one day, I hope to be
able to be as good as him.

- He's been spending a
lot of time with my mum,

which is quite strange 'cause my mum

doesn't really approve of many of my mates

but, yeah, she digs Ricky.

Like, it's cool.

- I might have fucked his mum

but look, it was out of respect.

She needed something.

But Benji, he's a great man

and he deserves all
the respect he can get.

- Lot of shit went down at S-Bay 2015.

There's a lot of negative
memories of Benji.

I just try to remember the positive things

that he did with his life.

And I know that if he were still with us,

you know, he'd wanna keep surfing,

he'd wanna keep battling
it out with Ricky,

he just wanted to have a good time.

That's all he ever really wanted.

(ocean moving softly)

(upbeat music)

♪ Hear the beating of 1000 drums ♪

♪ Hear the echo as the thunder comes ♪

♪ They're screaming out at
the top of their lungs ♪

♪ They couldn't drown me out ♪

♪ Today ♪

♪ Is the best day of my life ♪

♪ Just you try and change it ♪

♪ Today ♪

♪ is the best day of my life ♪

♪ Hear the singing of 1000 tongues ♪

♪ Shouting out with everyone ♪

♪ The voices like a mountain sung ♪

♪ Couldn't drown me out ♪

♪ Today ♪

♪ Is the best day of my life ♪

♪ Nothing's gonna change it ♪

♪ Today ♪

♪ Is the best day of my life ♪

♪ It's the best day of my life ♪

♪ Its the best day, ♪

♪ Its the best day of my life ♪

♪ See the cumulonimbus soar ♪

♪ The desert rain makes rivers roar ♪

♪ They won't drown me out ♪

♪ Today ♪

♪ Is the best day of my life ♪

♪ Just you try to change it ♪

♪ Today ♪

♪ Is the best day of my life ♪

♪ It's the best day of my life ♪

♪ It's the best day of my life ♪