Hannie Caulder (1971) - full transcript

Hannie Caulder (Raquel Welch) enlists the aid of bounty hunter Thomas Luther Price (Robert Culp) to teach her how to be a gunfighter so she can hunt down the three men who killed her husband and raped her.

- Oh, no!

- Hell.


- Come on, boy.

- Come on, get on your horse!

- Well, I can't find him!

- What do you mean you can't find him?

How can you lose anything
as big as a horse?

- Because you're sitting
on him, you son of a bitch.

Climb down off my horse

before I blow your goddamn head off!

- Son of a bitch.


- Damn it, I'm hit.

- I love you.

- Ow!

- We stopping here, Em?

- No, we ain't stopping here, Em.

We're going to keep right on going

till we find us a nice
place to starve, you idiot.

- My leg's killing me.

- Well I sure hope bleeding
is good for it, Frank,

'cause you really struck blood there.

- Shut your ass.

- Why don't you shut it for me?

- Rufus!

Me and Frank will steal some fresh horses.

You cover us.

- Let's not kill nobody we don't have to.

- Says who?

- Says me!

Now, get!

- Says you.

- Frank, come on.

Ain't the best-looking
horseflesh we ever stole.

- You looking for somethin'?

I'm Jim Caulder, station man here.

- Well, howdy, Jim Caulder,
station man here.

- Pine Bluff's just beyond.

No more than a mile.

- We ain't goin' to Pine Bluff.

- You're welcome to water
your horses and move on.

- Did I get him?

- Ain't no part of him you didn't!

- Well, it's self-defense.

- Go and find us something to eat.

- And cook it.

- That's woman's work.

- Do as I tell you!

- Oh, goddamn!


You're always cutting off my cojones.

Yeah, I'll bake you a pie.

A road apple pie.

Look what we got for supper.

Frank! Emmett!

- Come on.

- You got any whiskey, lady?



- Oh! Get out!

- You got too many things on.

Turn to me.

That's the way I like it.

- No!



- Hey!

- No! Aah!

- I'm next, I'm next!


I want her one time!

Oh, God.

Go, Frank.


- The well.

Me and my horses need water.

Give me that.

You wasn't, by any chance,

married to a no-good bastard

with a price on his head, were ya?

- You're a bounty hunter.

- I am.

- You kill men for money.

- You know a better reason?

- Sure as hell do.

- Your man run off with a painted lady?

- I wish he had.

The way you shoot that
gun, can you teach me?

- What for, you wanna kill somebody?

- Yes.

- Horse shit.

You couldn't go off and leave a man

on the cold ground last night.

- I'll learn.

- You'll forget is what you'll do.

Whatever it is that happened to you,

you'll forget it.

- The hell I will.

- I don't know what
your troubles are, lady,

and I don't give a damn.

But whatever it is…

You can't solve it with a six-shooter.

- In other words, you won't help me.

- Yeah, that's it.

- I'll make it worth your while.

- I don't see no pockets in that blanket.

- I wasn't talking about money.

- Well, I'll be damned.

You do want somebody
killed bad, don't you?

If I was to teach you the gun,

you'd then go out and
get your ass blowed off.

- It's my ass.

- Shame to get it shot full of holes.

It is as pretty a one
as I ever laid eyes on.

- If you're lucky, you'll
lay more than that.

- I never gamble if I don't have to.

- What's that supposed to mean?

- That you're a terrible liar, lady.

If I was to touch you,
you'd take that Winchester

to my head again, and you know it.

The answer's no.

Flat no.



- Gone!

- How many was they?

- Three.

- And your husband?

- Dead. They killed him.

- My good shirt.

- Damn you, Rufus.

- Got you to thank, you pebble-brain.

My leg heals, I'm going to kick your ass
clean out of your throat.

- Always two against one.

You'd lay off fast enough
if Pop was still alive.

- He still would be if
you hadn't shot him.

- How many times I have to tell you?

I was cleaning my gun!

Why, there ain't a night that goes by

that I don't think of Pop's face.

- You mean what was left of it.

Em, you think them
soldiers gonna follow us?

- I know they will.

There they are.

- Let's bushwhack the bastards.

- Like hell.

Let's get out of here!

- Here.

Put them on.

You got about as much on underneath that

blanket as my horse.

My name's Price.

Thomas Luther Price.

- Mine's Mrs.,

Mine's Hannie Caulder.

- All right
then, let's get going,

Hannie Caulder.

- Where to?

- Mexico.

There's a gun maker there.

- Gun maker?

- I can't very well teach you
to shoot without one, can I?

You don't mind riding
double with a dead man.

- I don't mind.

- Get you some proper britches and boots.

We got a lot of hard riding ahead of us.

I'll be in the saloon if you want me.

- What'll I do with
these pants I've got on?

- Wash 'em.

- Sorry we didn't have your size.

Take a bath with them on,

and they'll shrink to you.

Then you'll know they'll fit.

Just don't take 'em off till
you're sure they're dry.

- The way you describe them three,

you could be talking about
almost anyone in this town.

- They're brothers.

One's called Rufus.

- The Clemmons.

They was through here last week.

Cut right on out, though.

- You know where they went?

- The stink of them three

got here two days ahead of them.

It ain't gone yet.

- Thank you, sheriff.

- Anytime.

Anytime at all.

- If you weren't the
sheriff, I'd call one.

- Your bottom's wet.

- So's your chin.

- God, that guy's built.

- Call.

- Here's your pants, Thomas.

- Thomas?

Thomas Luther Price.

- That's right.


- Another one?

- He made the choice.

Harrington, Samuel.

Dead or alive.

$750. Union Pacific.

- That's fair
money for a minute's work.

That is, if you can prove who he is.

- You might know him.

I understand he's been in
your town over a month.

You might even have
brought him in yourself

had you only known.

My name is Price, by the way.

Tom Price.

I'm sorry, Mr. Price.

I had no idea, I--

- You, uh, got the money?

- It's a wonderful job you're doing, sir,

bringing in dead scum like this.

I only wish I was the same…

As you, I mean.

Apologies to you, ma'am.

- For what?

- He was afraid I'd catch
cold from my wet pants.

- That's right, Mr. Price.

- For the funeral.


I'll be back this way to see the grave.

- Okay. It'll be there.

It'll be there.

- Yeah.

Let's go to Mexico.

- Damn, who's down there, Custer?

- Let me get 'em.

- Get down there!

You wanna get your head blowed off?

- How'd we know the difference?

- Listen, I am fed up
with all of your goddamn--

- Get down!

Get down!

I got a plan.

- What are we gonna do, starve them out?

- That is a good idea.

- Shut up!

We're moving out.

- That's the plan?

- That's right.

- What do we do after we move out?

- We just keep moving.

It's called staying alive.

Now, come on. Let's get.

- Name's Bailey.

Nobody knows why he settled in Mexico.

First set up shop in New Orleans.

When the war come,

he switched over to making
guns for the Confederate Army.

Course when the North
took the town in '63,

he had to make himself scarce.

The Yankees give you a bad time

unless you was Abe Lincoln or a whore.

And a Rebel gunsmith woulda

got his head handed to him.

- Bailey make that gun for you?

- No, I got this off a feller who had no

other use for it.

But he's made so many new pieces.

He's rebuilt the gun twice.

Sure be a lot handier if
he lived somewhere near

civilization, but he's got a Mexican wife

and more young ones than you
can count on your fingers.

Not a bad life, I guess.

Home and kids.

A man ought to leave
something else behind him,

besides headstones.

So should a woman.

- Thomas.

Sure is good to see you.

- You, too, compadre.

This is Hannie Caulder.

- Welcome to Mexico, Miss Caulder.

- Missus.

- Welcome to Mexico, Mrs. Caulder.

You finally manage to split
the barrel of that old Adams?

- No, she's still true,

I just come by to see if
you got any more young ones.

- Two.

Nights are cold down here.

Come on in the house.

- Damn, damn, damn, damn, damn!

- Somethin' wrong, Em?

- Wrong!?

- Hell, yes, there is.

- Shut the hell up, Rufus!

I'll tell you what the hell's wrong.

We pulled four jobs in two
weeks, and we're stony-ass broke!


- Well, we still got some coffee.

Three horses we can eat.

- You touch one hair of my animal--

- I wouldn't touch nothin'

that's been between your legs.

- Well, what about the little
gal down in Sonora Town?

- You didn't jump her
bones, and you know it.

- Did so.

Didn't I, Em?

- How the hell would I know?

- You remember that night that I come in

all smelling like a lily.

- Hell, that don't prove nothin'.

- Are you calling me a liar?

Em, he's calling me a liar!

- Well, ya are!

- You name one time I
didn't tell the truth.

- When you said there was
no shotgun guard

on that stagecoach that we
tried to rob, that's when!

- Then you got us all shot.

- Yeah!
- Well, that was a mistake,

not a lie!

Anyway, I never said that I was perfect.

All I have said--

- Oh, shut the hell up, Rufus.

I'm trying to think.

- With what?

- You son of a--

- It's a joke, Em.

You lost your damn sense of humor.

- I'm gonna lose me a baby brother

if that son of a bitch
don't close his mouth

and keep it closed!

- Yeah?

- Where can we steal us some dynamite?

- We gonna blow up the little bastard?

- No, we ain't gonna blow
up that little bastard.

We're gonna rob us another bank.

Remember when he was talking about that,

what place you say?
- Sonora Town.

- Sonora Town.

Reminded me of a fella.

- Fine-looking woman.

- She wants to be a man.

- She'll never make it.

- No, not likely.

- For which let us thank God.

May I ask why?

- Long story.

- And none of my business.

Well, now, uh,

as to this gun of hers,

it'll have to be light, of course.

That gives us a few problems.

It always does.

The lighter the piece,
the thinner the steel.

That's where the weaknesses come.

Still, there are one or
two tricks we can pull.


It's gonna be a cold night.

- It sure as hell is.

- Here, take this.

Take it in both hands.

Arms length, like so.

Hold it out, a little further out.

With that hand.

Now hold it up like so, shoulder high,

and wind it up one-half turn at a time.


Now, let it out slow and easy.

Don't let it slip through your fingers.

All the way to the bottom,
same way you wound it up.

Go ahead.

Keep it up. Keep it up.


There, you did that very well.

You're gonna do this morning and night

until you can do it 30 times.

- Then I'll be ready?

- Then we'll get ya bigger rock.

He's packed about three
times as much powder

in the barrel as you'll ever use.

If it doesn't blow up in his face,

it should last you.

- Who is that?

Looks like a preacher.

- He's not.

- New chamber.

Two weeks.

Maybe one.

The reason I take such pains
with the outside of a gun

is because I've always thought
death very unattractive.

Mean, rotten things.

No getting back at it.

Least I can do is add a bit of style.

- Why the two triggers?

- Just a bit of Bailey magic.

Saves using your thumb to cock the hammer.

Use your middle finger to
pull the lower trigger.

The hammer goes back.

Now pull the other.

- Don't ever pull that trigger

unless you're aiming at
something, even if it's empty.

That's your first lesson in firing a gun.

Come on.

We'll work from back of here.

All the time, there's no sense
in getting up close yet…

Till you're fast.


Draw the weapon out of the
holster slowly and carefully.


Slow and careful.

First comes right, then comes fast.

- Okay.

- Raise it to arm's length.

Sight down the barrel with your right eye.

Keep both eyes open, that's important,

I'll tell you why later.

Squeeze the trigger.

Don't pull it.

Now, then, just like
an army mule, isn't it?

- Yeah.
- Yeah, that's a .45 caliber.

.45 caliber.

That'll lift a man clean
off his feet from here.

- But I didn't even touch it.

- You hit the ground, front.

Slightly to the right.

Not bad.

Try it again.

This time, turn a little more sideways.

You're a target, too, you know.

Go ahead.





But judging distance is not
the most important thing,

but damn near it.

At sunset, a man'll cast a long shadow

and give you the idea that
there's a great distance

between you, there may not be.

At noon, there's no shadow,
the sun is directly overhead.

You'll feel you can
reach out and touch him.

If you're too close to a
man, you see too much of him.

You can watch him sweat,
wet his mouth, blink.

While your eyes are taking
all that in, he can kill ya.

Back off.

See everything…

And nothing.

And hit him right here.

Right there.

And after you fire, move.

Go ahead.

Move when you've fired.

He's shooting at you, too.

Outside of judging distance,

you gotta judge human nature.


There's a feller over here on your left

looking mean, standing tall in the sun,

his thumbs hookin' his gun belt,

legs wide apart, hat tipped back.

Over on your right,

there's a fella whose face you can't see.

His hat's down over his eyes,
he's turned away from you,

looks like he doesn't even notice you.

Now you gotta kill both of 'em.

It would behoove you to
kill the fastest one first.

Hop to it.


Right here.

Let's keep working.

- Doesn't look like a
man who makes his way

killing, does he?

- Come on, now.


- Bailey?

Them customers?

- I could do without their business.

- Winchester.

- Bailey.

- Again, Hannie!

Again, Hannie!

- We go!

- Rufus, get down!

The safe's gonna blow!

- I'll be through in a minute.

Get down, ya ninny!

- I said I'll--

- You blew up the money!

You dummy!

You dummy!

Come on, Rufus!

- But I'm--

- Kee-rist!

- Thanks, Em.

- Well, the bartender said
he's seen them, all right.

In congress yesterday, if
they're headed this way,

that could put 'em here
by this afternoon.

I'll say it one more
time: give it up, Hannie.

- I can't.

- You mean you won't.

- I mean I can't.

They're gonna get what they deserve.

- Well, you're not.

Win or lose, you lose.

You'll not be the same person.

- I hope to hell I'm not.

- Well, it's your life, lady.

- What kind of life?

When every man I look at
is thinking the same--

- I'm looking at you.

- What do you see?

- The woman I staked out
of pure, damn meanness.

I wish to God I'd left you there.

I ought to now.

- Go ahead.

I don't need you anymore.

- You just used me, is that it?

- That's it.

- Like I said…

You're a terrible liar, Hannie.

- What do you mean you
don't have any money?

What they hell'd you do
with your share

the last job we pulled?

- What share?

Nothing don't go very far.

- Uh, Frank is right, Emmett.

Uh, women cost money.

- What the hell would you do with a woman?

You got less in your pants
than you got in your head.

- Oh, shut up!

Em, make him shut up.

- Shut up!

- And two makes four!

- You sure smell good, Frank.

Don't turn around.

Now if you can manage
to do as you're told,

your life will be a lot easier.

And a whole lot longer.

Undo your gun belt.

And let her hit the ground.

Kick it away and turn around here.

Frank Clemmons, isn't it?

- If that's what it says there.

- Frank, there's a hundred
dollars on your head.

That's what I call inflation.

The sheriff's office is across the square.

Let's see if we can get there together.

- Thomas.


- Hannie, get me out of here.

- You were right about me.

I'm a rotten liar.

- Rotten with a gun, too.

- Now who's lying?

- They'll kill you, Hannie.

- They'll try.

- Promise?

Promise me you won't…


I'll be a son of a bitch.

- Yes, ma'am?

- The Clemmons brothers,
you know where they are?

- Don't know about the
others, Frank's in Room 22.

- That'll do for a start.

- Hey, I don't remember hiring you.

- You didn't.

I'm looking for someone.

- Well, if he's up there,
he's not worth finding.

- He's worth finding.

- Starting early, Herman?

- Finishing late, madam.

- We'll be
outside taking the sun.

- Yes, ma'am.

- Oh!

- Get up!

Strap it on.

- Can I put my pants on?

- You're not gonna need 'em for long.

- What the hell is this all about?

- I'm gonna kill ya.

- You mean you're gonna try.

- Anytime you're ready.

- Again, Hannie.

Again, Hannie. Again, Hannie.


- Oh!

- Looks like your sign fell down.

- There you are, $100 even.

Damn it, woman.

You didn't have to cut
him in half, did you?

- Both halves match, don't they?


For the funeral.

- That's a, that's a very unusual gesture.

- I learned it from a very unusual man.

I expect all of it to go for the funeral.

- I don't know is I like
what you're implying, ma'am.

- You don't have to like
it, just remember it.

- I'd sure hate to be you

when the other Clemmons
brothers find out about this.

- I wouldn't wanna be you anytime.

- I stole a Bible, Em.

Do you want to read over Frank?

- You know damn right well I can't read.

To hell with him anyway.

- You shouldn't have done that, Em.

You're gonna gettin'
God mad at us and he's--

- Shut your damn mouth!

- Well, I want to say
something over Frank!

- Well, say it and get
it the hell over with!

- All right!


You're dead.


Damn if I don't miss you
already, you miserable bastard!

- Well, instead of bawling,

you ought to be lookin'
for the bitch that done it!

- I have.

Hell, yes, I have, just like a goddamn,

excuse me, God,

bloodhound, I been looking.

Em, she's trying to break up our family.

- Now how in the hell did ya guess that?

- We gotta kill her ass.

I'll hunt her down,
and we'll kill her ass.

- What are they doing over there?

- Beats the hell out of me.

- Well, get the hell over and find out.

- Thanks.

They said they're digging
two more holes over there.

They told them.

- Who told them?

- Some woman in town.

- Oh, she did, huh?

You tell them to dig just one,

'cause that's all she's gonna need.

- She?
- She!

'Cause we're gonna kill her ass.

- Let's have about a quart of that.

- Hmm, well, it doesn't
exactly come as whiskey, ma'am.

However, we do have a large-sized bottle.

- Just drop the damn bottle.

- Hello, Rufus.

- I hear you got real smart
since we saw you last.

- Funny, I didn't hear
the same thing about you.

- That's a good old time we had

back at your place, wasn't it?

- Depends on which side of
the good old time you were on.

- Reason I didn't recognize you right off,

I didn't know you with
your clothes on.

You know, Emmett and me's real sore

about what you did to Frank.

He was our brother, you know,

and brothers don't grow
on no goddamn trees,

so I'll tell you what we're gonna do now.

You and me and Em is going
to have a little party

for old times' sake,

and then we're gonna separate your head

from the rest of ya.

Well, come on, sugar.

Move your ass.

I said move your--

- For the funeral.

- Well, there's enough there for two.

- That's right.

- You know, you'd be doing
me a big favor, Ms. Caulder,

if you'd just get yourself
right the hell out of my town

before some innocent people
get caught in your crossfire.

- I wonder you didn't say the
same thing to the Clemmons?

- They weren't bothering nobody.

They were just riding around being wanted.

You're shooting the hell out of the place.

- I'll tell you what, sheriff.

You tell the last of the Clemmons

that Hannie Caulder
will be waiting for him

out at the old prison.

I'll settle my business and
not offend you any further.

- You're a hard woman, Hannie Caulder.

- Like the man said,

"There aren't any hard
women, only soft men."

- That bitch!

Who the hell does she think she is

treating my family to a funeral?

God, where the hell is she?

Goddamnit! Where is she?

- She's at the old prison.

She said she'd be waitin'.

- Oh, she is, huh?

- You make damn sure it's self-defense!

- When a man's close to you,

you see too much of him.

You can see him sweat, lick
his lips, blink his eyes.

Watch his hands.

Watch his eyes.

Remember, you're a target too.

Pick your spot.

Ready, Hannie?

Get ready.


Again, Hannie! Again!

Win or lose, you lose, Hannie Caulder.

♪ Life

♪ Never is peaceful

♪ Not ever until you

♪ Find a way

♪ To stop

♪ It bein' a battle

♪ Let's make it more peaceful

♪ Day by day

♪ All the fightin'

♪ And the feudin'

♪ Keeps amountin'

♪ Just to nothin'

♪ People laughin'

♪ People singin'

♪ People lovin'

♪ That is something

♪ Life

♪ Never is peaceful

♪ Not ever until you

♪ Find a way

♪ To stop

♪ It bein' a battle

♪ So once it gets peaceful

♪ Make it stay

♪ Make it stay

♪ Make it stay

♪ Make it stay