Halloween: Resurrection (2002) - full transcript

Serial Killer Michael Myers is not finished with Laurie Strode, and their rivalry finally comes to an end. But is this the last we see of Myers? Freddie Harris and Nora Winston are reality programmers at DangerTainment, and are planning to send a group of 6 thrill-seeking teenagers into the childhood home of Myers. Cameras are placed all over the house and no one can get out of the house... and then Michael arrives home!

[Halloween Theme playing]

[Wheels squeaking]

You've heard of the tunnel.

The one we all go through
sooner or later.

[Rat squeaking]

At the end, there's a door.

[Woman shouting faintly]

And waiting for you on
the other side of that door...

is either heaven...

or hell.

[Muffled shouting]

This is that door.

[Crickets chirping]

[Low talking]

Why is this patient
in lockdown?

They didn't tell you
about Laurie Strode?


You must have heard of her.
Sister of Michael Myers?

Michael Myers,
the serial killer?

Well, you'll hear
all the gossip soon enough.

For now, let's just get...

No, no, no, wait.
Tell me about her.

She decapitated a man.


Oh, my God. Why?

[Sighs] Halloween.
Three years ago.

Twenty years after
the first murders...

her brother finally found her.

Tracked her down to the school
where she was working.

There were several murders.

Lots of confusion.

[Radio crackles]


[Siren wailing]

MAN: Guys, over here!


Oh, my God.
She killed the wrong person.

MAN: Unh!

Father of three.

Why didn't the paramedic
say something?


His larynx had been crushed.

Don't let on you know.
[Keys jingle]

[Door opens]

Hello, Miss Strode.
Did you enjoy your dinner?

She hasn't said a word in years.

Extreme disassociative disorder.

The doctors think
she's a suicide threat.

They found her up
on the roof more than once.

Must be the guilt.

Now all she does
is stare out that window.

God knows
what she sees out there.

[Door closes]

[Lock clicks]

[Velcro rips]

[Crickets chirping]


[Door squeaking]

[Bird cries]


Anyone out there?


[Unzips jacket]

[Clicks lighter]


- Holy shit!
- Ha ha ha!

Harold, are you trying
to give me a heart attack?


How the hell
did you get out again?

And who are you
supposed to be today?

Oh. John Wayne Gacy.

Born in Chicago, Illinois,
on March 17, 1942.

Come on, big guy.

Killed 33 people.
Buried them under his house.

WILLIE: I know, Harold.

- He was executed on May 7...
- I know, Harold.

[Harold talking]

Willie, I'm not trying
to criticize your work...

but if you put Harold
in his room...

how come I see him
in the basement?

WILLIE: L... But just
two seconds ago, he was...

Come on. Let's go get him.

How many times
do I have to tell you?

You gotta be sure
what you're doing.

[Door opens]

[Door closes]

What are you doing?

I skipped dinner.

- Hurry up.
- OK.

[Coins jingling]



what are you doing down here?

What's gotten into you?



[Light squeaking]






[Willie gasping]

Aah! Aah!

Aah! Unh!



[Breathing heavily]

Hmm. Ted Bundy.

Born November 24, 19...

[Knife scraping]

[Door opens]

[Door closes]


[Electricity crackling]

[Door bangs]

[Door opens]

[Wind blowing]

Hello, Michael.

[Motor whining]



I knew you'd come for me
sooner or later.

What took you so long?

You failed, Michael.

You want to know why?

Because I'm not afraid of you.

But what about you?

Are you afraid of me?

Are you afraid to die, Michael?



[Rope creaking]

I just have to be sure.

Unh! Unh!




Aah! [Gasping]

I'll see you in hell.

[Branches snapping]





Michael Myers.

Born October 19, 1957.

Killed his older sister,
October 31, 1963.

Killed 3 high school students,
October 31, 1978.

Also killed three nurses
and a paramedic, same night.


Was believed to be dead,
then killed four students...

Was believed to be dead,
then killed four students...

Hillcrest Academy, 1998.

Has been missing, unheard of,
last three years.

[Laughs] Now he's back.

Carl Jung tells us...

that the human psyche

a figment of ourselves...

that even the collective
unconscious denies.

Good morning, Paul.
It's nice to see you in class.

Am I keeping you up?

What do I mean by all this,

I mean that inside all of us...

there lurks
a dark, malevolent figure.

A kind of boogeyman,
if you will...

that Jung called what?

Stick with me, people.

Take that Kierkegaardian
leap of faith.

Jung said we must
face down our fears...

and face up to the figure
he called... what?

- The shadow.
- The shadow.

Yes, Sara, very good.
Thank you.

I'm glad somebody was awake.
Wow, what a class.

[Rock music playing]

JEN: Hey, Sara!

Sara, wait up!

I've been looking for you

Guess what?

Uh-uh. What did you
sign us up for this time?

Eee, ha ha!
We gotta find Rudy. Come on.


JEN: Hey, Rudy.

Don't distract me.

I can't help myself.

I am distracting.

Have you checked your email?


Did you send me something?

We're in!
They picked all three of us!

- What? Are you serious?
- Uh-huh!

[Laughs] Oh, God! Yes!

All right. That is all good.

This isn't one of
your little jokes, is it?

No, but Sara doesn't want to go.

I might go.
I just haven't decided yet.

No, no, no.
That is unacceptable.

It is unacceptable.

We're gonna be bigger
than "The Osbournes."

We're gonna be large.

Every time I let you two
talk me into something...

I live to regret it.

Listen, without me,
you would die of boredom.

Us! Without us,
you would die of boredom.




Are you sure they're not
just putting us in some house...

with hidden cameras
in the shower?

[Laughs] No.

It's like we're
investigative reporters...

searching a crime scene.

And look at the scholarship.


Besides that,
thousands of people...

are going to see my face...

our face.


MAN: Don't do it.

That's the house
where it all started.

He walked its hallways,
hid in its closets...

dreamed in its bedrooms...

helped his mother
in the kitchen...

watched TV in the living room
with his dad...

played in his sister's bedroom.

Then one day,
he picked up a knife...

and he never put it down again.

♪ Maaa ♪

♪ Maaaaa ♪

That guy's fucking weird.

Don't pay attention to him.
He's trying to scare us.

I just need to send
a quick email.


SCOTT: " Deckard...

"you'll never believe
what I got myself into."

Deckard? Who's Deckard?

Oh, it's my screen name.

Sara needed some tech support
setting up her offline reader...

so I, uh...

SCOTT: You told her
you're a graduate student?

- Graduate of what, junior high?
- Shut up, all right?

We talk every day.
It's kind of like we're dating.

She's never even seen you...

and Yahoo chat rooms
do not count.

Yes, they do count.
Did you know in the old days...

knights used to spend
their entire lives...

courting ladies that
they would never even touch?

They would just send
each other sonnets and stuff.

SCOTT: That's before
internet porn, man.

MYLES: Whatever.

Now what are you doing?

Just give me a second,
all right?

[Revs engine]

JEN: I hope Sara shows up.

And wearing
something acceptable.

She can't still be mad at us
for the last time.

Here she is. Hey!

OK, everybody listen up!

Sara, are you gonna wear this?

I thought I told you
we were gonna be on camera.

I'd like to start this off
by saying the search is over.

You six have been selected...

to explore
America's worst nightmare...

tomorrow night, Halloween...

live, in front of the whole
entire internet universe.

You six will enter
the birthplace of evil...

in its purest form...

the childhood home of
our most brutal mass murderer...

Michael Myers.


Thank you. Thank you.

So, what do you hope to find
in the house tomorrow night?

My way into
network broadcasting.


I just want to say
that Michael Myers...

is not just
a man behind a mask...

he's a legend.

I'm interested
in how Michael Myers...

the politics of violence...

embedded in pop mythology.

Never underestimate
the effect of a poor diet.

Too much protein, not enough
zinc, next thing you know...

you're cutting up bodies
in your bathtub.

Look at Hitler.
He was a vegetarian.

The brother
was seriously malnourished.

You don't have to go far
to find Michael Myers.

He is the great white shark
of our unconscious.

He is the dark-eyed child
of our spirits.

He's every murderous impulse
we've ever had.

He's the little voice
that whispers to us...

to strangle the old lady...

taking too long
at the checkout counter.

Get to know him, baby.

He's you.

Tell us, Sara, why do
ordinary people turn to murder?

Well, I, um...

I think it has something
to do with upbringing.


Damn! That girl can sing.

[Sighs] That's what
I'm looking for. Ooh.

TV: Ha! Hunh!


Get his ass! Get his ass!
Get his ass!

[Shouting and grunting]

Who's better than Wat Chun Lee?

Whoopin' everybody ass
while he's smokin' a cigarette.

[Knock on door]

Oh, shit. Who's knockin'
on my door this late?

Whoever this is
is distracting me...

from seeing Wat Chun Lee
whoop some ass.

Sara? Ooh.

Sara, what are you doing here?
It's late.

I'm dropping out.


I'm sorry.

It's just I'm so freaked out
I can't even sleep.

Slow down, slow down.
What's the problem?

Can't you see
I'm not like the others?

I know
you're not like the others.

You know
you're not like the others.

The others ain't nothin'
but a bunch...

of smart-ass, wise-crackin'
posin' wannabes.

You are the real deal.

Every existing element
about you...

is what the internet audience
really wants.

I don't want to be famous.

What do you mean
you don't want to be famous?

That's the American dream.

I think I'm just scared.

It's OK to be scared.

Being scared is good.
Fear is good.

Fear motivates.

Fear gives you
the feeling of being alive.

Fear makes me want to throw up.

Trust me, please.

When it's all said and done,
at the end of the day...

you'd be surprised of
how much you surprise yourself.

I'm sorry to bother you.
I just...

It's OK. Do me a favor.
Sleep on it.

We'll talk about it tomorrow.
You can sweat it tonight, man.

Now take your tail on outta here
and go to bed.

OI' Freddie boy, damn, you good.

Shit you come up with
off the top of your head, boy.

Why don't you just
pat yourself on your back?

Oh, Wat Chun Lee! Oh!

[Honk honk]

[Music playing]

[Talking and laughing]

Now, are you coming out soon...

or are you
planning on subletting?

Mmm! Sexy girl! Ha ha!

SARA: Don't you think
it's a bit too revealing?

JEN: I think
it's perfectly revealing.


JEN: What?

Are you OK?

JEN: Did you see
the boogeyman or something?

DONNA: The boogeyman?
How very Jungian.

Dr. Mixter's class?
I'm taking that course, too.

I hope they have this in black.

- Thrift stores.
- Oh, how marvelous, darling.

MYLES: Ahh, there she is.

Oh, my God,
you've been pussy-whipped.

What's worse,
you've been cyber-whipped.

By the way,
where's your costume?

I can't go out tonight.

I promised Sara
I would watch her first episode.

She's really nervous about it.

No, Mickey Stern's party
is tonight, and you know that.

Oh, yeah. I'm sorry, man.
I guess I forgot.

Do you have any idea...

what it means for
two freshmen to get invited?

It's never happened before!

Your sister invited us...

so you wouldn't tell
your mother about her tattoo.

That's besides the point,
Myles Barton.

You can sit here in your little
dream fantasy world...

or you can come with me
to this party...

and learn to walk like a man.

What's it gonna be?

All right, let's go.

Ahh, chat room romance?

He's just a friend.

He's probably fifty and bald,
with a bad toupee.

- Jen.
- Probably collects human skin.

Give me a break, Jen.

OK, everybody listen up.

I'd like to start off
by saying...

the home that
you will be entering tonight...

has been rigged up
with several cameras...

but for the most part...

the audience will see
only what you see.

See these cameras right here?

I kinda like these cameras.

They can pretty much be
clipped on to anything.

A hat, shirt collar,
your coat collar.


FREDDIE: The viewers
can pretty much control...

what they want to watch...

switch around
from camera to camera...

depending on what seems to be
the most intriguing to them.

So if you guys want
to be stars for the night...

I suggest you do something
that is very interesting...

so that it's worth the while
of the viewers...

to want to keep
their cameras on you.

Cameras are so phallic.

Is that good or bad?

Depends who's watching.

[Hip-hop music playing]

[Generator running]

♪ Not sweatin' me,
'cause that's no good now ♪

NORA: Hey, Orson Welles,
pick a placement and move on.

Look, low angles... scary.

High angles... scary.

Medium angles... boring.

I bet you learned that

all those weddings
and bar mitzvahs.

Hey, hey!

I went to Long Beach State.
Same as Spielberg.

NORA: Charley,
we're on a schedule here.

Tell Max to rig a camera
in the sister's room.

Max is back at the hotel
helping Freddie.


♪ Give it all I got ♪

♪ This time ♪

♪ Taking control
of whatever's meant to be ♪

♪ I feel your rhythm
and, ooh ♪

♪ Time to lead you to love ♪


[Music playing loudly]

[Steam hissing]


[Steam hissing]

♪ The right song ♪


[Charley gasping]

♪ If you want it ♪

♪ Better get it ♪

♪ Uh-huh ♪


♪ It's all on you, baby ♪


Baby, calm down.
It's all good. Just relax.

I got it all under control.


There was this Firebird
parked in front of the house.

Totally about to ruin
the establishing shot...

but I called a tow truck.

Yep, it's on its way.

All righty. Bye.

Look at you, Charley.
That's a nice angle, boy.


Look, there he is now.

All right, here we go.

WOMAN: Mr. Harris!

Can we ask you
a few questions, Mr. Harris?

- Right over here.
- I got one word for you.

- What's that?
- Product placement.

- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.

Product placement,
I like the sound of that.

BILL: While we're going
around the house...

discovering the secrets
of Michael Myers...

we could be drinking Pepsi
or sporting The Gap, right?

FREDDIE: Nice sexy thinking.
I kind of like that.

How's everyone doing
this evening?

We'll get it started
like this, see?

In the next ten minutes...

we are going to enter
a mystery...

wrapped up inside of a riddle
inside of an enigma.

Now, remember this.
Everything you see...

absolutely everything
you see is real.

There's no actors...

none of the components
or contents in the house...

have been messed with,
mixed up, diluted...

or tampered with in any shape,
form, or fashion whatsoever.

Now, I'm not exactly sure
what's gonna happen...

but what I do know is
that no one will be allowed...

to leave
until the show is over.

Our state-of-the-art
camera surveillance system...

will pick up
anyone who tries to sneak out.



Let the Dangertainment begin
out this motherfucker.

Well, people, let's do it.






[Slam] Aah!



BILL: Way to go.
This is gonna be fun.

[Floor creaking]


It looks like nothing's
been touched for years.

JEN: I read that
after the murders...

the family
just sealed it up...

and left without
taking anything with them.

BILL: It's not exactly
a house you put on the market.

Yeah, but I'll bet it has...

one of those big nice
old kitchens, you know?

Where are you going?

I'm gonna check it out.

Oh. [Sighs]
What are we gonna do?

We don't have to do anything.

we just have to be in the house.

Aren't we supposed
to be looking for answers?

The devil made him do it.
I'm done.

We owe it
to the people watching...

to at least take a look around.

Oh, that's cute.

You're already worried
about your fan base?


You are this close
to getting voted off the island.


RUDY: Hey, check this out.

You want something
tasty and delicious?

You ever tasted
forty-year-old fennel?

Eww, don't.
It's got to be rotten.

- That's strange.
- What?

- It smells fresh.
- Yeah, it does.


JIM: You know, Donna,
you got great legs.

What time do they open?

That'd be 1:00?

RUDY: God damn.


You think this is the one
that he used to do his thing?

No. They'd keep that in
an evidence locker somewhere.


- Boo.
- Aah!

- What, are you scared?
- No.

What's in here?


RUDY: What is that?

[Metal squeaking]

JEN: OK, so I admit...

that this place
is a little creepy, OK?

RUDY: No, no, no.
You have no idea.

- Look at this.
- Wow, a chair.

SARA: My God.

Do you think they actually
kept him in this?


What is that?

Looks like the medieval key
to Sara's chastity belt.

- Rudy!
- OK, yeah.

Maybe we should
poke around a bit...

see what else we can find.

Ha! Aye-aye, captain.

Why are you touching me?


Go poke.




[Loud music playing]

[Talking and laughing]

Hey, what's going on?

GIRL: Sexy.

Look at you!

Scott, what are we doing here?

Hey, come on, man,
be cool, all right?

Relax. Have fun. Shit.

Hey, Myles,
do you think anyone will know...

we're supposed to be
from "Pulp Fiction"?

[Techno music playing]

- Huhh!
- Huhh!

[Opens drawer]


[Crickets chirping]

[Wind blowing]

[Children laughing]

Today, you're scared of
the boogeyman.

Ha ha ha!

He's gonna get you.
He's coming behind you.




[Michael breathing]

[Music playing]

[Muffled party noise]

[Clicks mouse]



Ohh! Shit!

Careful, Jen.

Ahem. Hands off, bud.


Bet this is Judith's room.

You know, the older sister.

The one he killed
when he was six years old.

JEN: Hey! Keep the camera
on the money here.

I think it happened
when she was right there.

Poor little Judith...


brushing her hair...

young... and naked.

Yeah, because
that's gonna happen, right?

Come on, Jen.

One flash,
and you could light up...

a thousand computer screens.

Launch your whole career.

You think?



You crack me up.


It's a good wardrobe
for you, Jen.

[Floor creaking]


Wait! No! There was
somebody else in the hall!

Come on. [Sighs]


[Clicks mouse]

[Door opens]

Come on, lover boy.

- Whoa!
- Aah!

What are you doing,
you big perv?

They're exploring the house
of a mass murderer... live.

You want to watch?

- No way.
- Sure.

Oh, OK.

Impulse control disorder.

JIM: Huh?

That's my theory.

I think Michael Myers
had fits of rage...

that he could not control.

Kind of like a klepto
or a nympho or a pyro.

[Wind blowing]

So, instead of
stealing silverware...

he slashes the necks
of teenage girls, huh?

DONNA: Oh, come on...

haven't you ever had an impulse
that you could not control?

- Continuously.
- You mean continually.

"Continuous" means
continuing uninterrupted...

while "continual" means
reoccurring periodically.

Donna, when are you gonna
get out of your head...

and start thinking
with your body?

[Sighs] Please.

Does that line
ever actually work...

on the chicks
in the music department?

Art history, too.
Sometimes even poli sci.

Well, it doesn't cut it
with critical studies.

JIM: Bummer.

screwing a music major...

would be tantamount
to lesbianism.

I could get into that.

Sara, I'm telling you,
it's in the food.

Remember that guy
who was on trial...

for murder in San Francisco?

All he ate was Twinkies.

Rudy, do you ever think about
anything other than food?

Wouldn't you like to know?

[Woman screaming]

SARA: Jen?

[Scary music playing]

SARA: Jen?

What's going on?

- What happened?
- I don't know.

I turned my back for a second
and she was gone.


[Footsteps] Jen?



SARA: Jen?

[Breathes heavily]



[Both screaming]

[Speakers feed back]

Turn it down!

- Gotcha!
- God, you bitch.


That's not right, OK?
You're foul.

SARA: Uhh, so foul.

FREDDIE: This is to us,
for successfully...

let me give you
a little more...

puttin' together
something collectively...

so ingenious
as a team and a duo...

that we should definitely
be able to secure...

a lot of food on the table
for ourselves...

as long as everything
goes as nicely...

as it's goin' right now.

[Floor creaks]

I'm gonna get her back
for that.

Watch me.



Oh, my God!



Oh, no! No!

Mm. Mm.

Wait, what just happened?

- We just lost Bill's camera.
- Oh, shit.

He must've dropped it.
Fucking idiot.

Find another view quickly,

Freddie, relax.

I think
this is going really well.

- Really, baby?
- Yes.

We are doing our thing.


To Dangertainment.

Salute. Heh heh heh.

And this must be the bed
where he was conceived.

Stop showing off, Jen.


[Door creaking]




- Sara!
- Jen, help me!

Are you OK?


JEN: Rudy, help. Sara!

Ewww. [Coughs]

- God.
- What happened?

What is that thing?

[Rock music playing]

Hey, is this
that Michael Myers thing?


A'ight, cool.

[Girls laughing]

GIRL: Yeah, OK.

[Breathing heavily]

What is this?

DONNA: Oh. Sorry.

Are you?

You're such a Lothario.


I don't know what that
means exactly, but...

Just go with it.

Hold on.
I just thought of something.

DONNA: Hold on?

You've got to be kidding me.

JEN: What, are you
looking for "Playboys"?

RUDY: This ain't right.

Well, it's obvious
that the boy was subject...

to emotional and physical abuse.

No, all of this.
It's not right.

It's too easy.

Why is all this stuff
still here?

Answer that, Nancy Drew.

SARA: Where's Bill?

JEN: He's probably
still mad at me.

He's gonna jump out
of somewhere and scare me.

You watch.

You watch.

[Static buzzing]

[Woman sings faintly]

[Metal clangs]

Jim? Uh.

[Breathing heavily]


[Clears throat]

You know, if I'm keeping you
from something...

just let me know.



- Voilà.
- Clever boy.

[Floor creaks]

they're looking for clues.

Something that might explain
why Michael Myers went bad.

- Oh.
- Jeez.

Hey, Scott. What's up?

GIRL: God, nice costume.

[Water dripping]

[Kicks object]


Hey, you think
they kept him down here?

Maybe. Look at this.

JIM: What? What is it?

DONNA: It's some sort
of weird harness.

This whole place looks like
some sadistic playpen.

DONNA: Ah ha ha.

And you know what
that makes me think?

JIM: What?

There's definitely
no cameras down here.


[All cheering and laughing]

I could be a camera.


JIM: Say something smart.

Existence precedes essence.

[Both moaning]

God, you are sexy.



[Donna screaming]

JIM: Whoa! Oh, shit!

[Donna screaming]

[Both laughing]

That worked perfectly!

FREDDIE: Whoa! That is
what I'm talking about.

DONNA: Oh, my God!
Oh, my God! All his victims!

It's a mass grave!

Oh, my God!

JIM: Oh, God.

All of his victims. Oh!

Shit. Look at this.

I don't
fucking believe this.


Made in fucking Taiwan.

[Door creaks]

[Door closes]

[Floor creaks]

FREDDIE: Oh, shit, man!

where the fuck you been?

We've been lookin' all over
this motherfucker for you!

And why the hell are you
dressed like me anyway?

I ain't payin' you
to be Michael Myers.

I'm playin' Michael Myers!

If them kids come around...

and see us dressed up
in the same shit...

you'll ruin the whole effect,
God damn it.

What the hell
is wrong with you?

What you lookin' at me
like that for?

Huh? You don't get it?

Your shit ain't workin'
up there?

Take your ass in the back
of the garage with Nora.

That's your job.

Go back there with Nora
and help her ass out.

Go do your job.

I left the back door
unlocked for your ass...

to go out the back
into the garage.

That's what I did.

You need to get the hell
outta here.

Go on, scoot! Skedaddle!

Get the fuck out of Dodge!

God damn. What the hell's
somebody gotta do...

to get a little decent help
up in this motherfucker?

God damn it. Come on.

Let's go find Freddie.

This is bullshit.


Hey, Jim?

You gotta see this.

[Rocks falling]

[Water dripping]

[Squeaking] Ohh!



DONNA: Hey, Freddie.

Is this all part of the setup?

[Woman sings faintly]

"Laurie Strode,
sister of Michael Myers...

"survives Halloween night



Heh. Nice prop.



Oh, my God!


Oh, my God!

Is anybody else seeing this?

[Coughs] Uh...



[All laugh]


[Halloween Theme playing]

Aah! Oh, my God!



Help! Somebody!

Someone help! Oh, my God!

This isn't funny anymore!

Help me! Somebody help!

This is not funny!


Oh, my God!

Stay away from me! Aah!

Aah! Aah!



SCOTT: That was so fake.

MYLES: No, no, wait.
Wait, you guys.

That really happened.
She was just killed.

[All laugh]

Man, you're gullible.

GIRL: Get outta here.

[Water bubbling]

It's a good thing
there's no cameras in here.


We're wearing cameras.

[Both laughing]




Michael's here!

I saw him!
He's in the house!

He's here!


SARA: Oh, my God.

RUDY: What's going on?
What you talking about?

Don't do this, girl.

You're bringing me down
on this beautiful evening.

There's nobody here.
You're just bugging out.

SARA: It's not funny, OK?

- Stop it, OK?
- He's down in that room.

RUDY: There is 1, 2, 3, 4,
5, 6 people in the house.

There's no Michael Myers here.
There's nobody.

SARA: Listen,
I saw him right over there.

He's in here?
Ooh. Michael Myers.

Where's Michael Myers?

Michael Myers!
I don't see nothing.

- He was in here.
- You're bringing me down.

Rudy, I saw... Aaaah!

[Screams] Rudy!

Uhh! Uhh!

- Fucker!
- Whoa, whoa!

Turn off the cameras!

- Get it back online.
- What's wrong?

Cut to
a different camera angle.

It's me. Freddie.

What the fuck are you doing?

Damn, man, you hit me...

like I murdered
your fuckin' mother.

Relax, man.

I'm only tryin'
to give America a good show.

So none of
this shit is real, right?

Like the furniture...

the photos,
all the fucked up toys?

It's all fake.
We've been set up.

You knew you didn't have
a show anyone would watch...

so you set us all up
at our fucking expense, huh?

What expense
are you talkin' about?

You ain't contributed a dime
to settin' up this shit.

Besides, don't nobody
want to see any of y'all...

runnin' around
no empty house...

possibly comin' up
with nothing any-damn-way.

America don't like reality,
first of all.

Second of all,
they think the shit is boring.

They want
a little razzle-dazzle...

a little pizazz,
a little thrill in their life.

And us being the ones
that give it to 'em...

I don't see
nothin' wrong with that.

I did not sign up for this.

Y'all need to do me a favor,
all right?

Go along with this shit.
Don't blow it. Not now.

You really have no idea...

of how nicely
I worked things out...

so that we all can receive...

somewhat of a robust back end
when this shit is all over.

I don't know what you want to do
about your share...

but please
don't fuck it up for me.

I want my money, a'ight?

Now, if you don't mind,
I'd like to go...

scare the shit out of some more
of these motherfuckers...

so, I'm gonna get it crackin'

Y'all do what
the fuck y'all gotta do.

See y'all. Ha ha ha ha!

- All right.
- We have it.

- Turn up the sound.
- Where'd everybody go?

[Door creaks]


[Door closes]



There you are, Bill.

RUDY: So what
do you guys want to do?

JIM: I don't know.
I could use the money.

RUDY: No. Fuck that.
I'm out.

SARA: Me too. I quit.





She must be going
for the first internet Emmy.

You can't scare us, Jen.

You're gonna have to do
better than that.


You too, Freddie.

[Takes out knife]


- Eww!
- How'd they do that?

- Digital effects.
- No, it isn't!

Hello. 911?

SARA: Oh, my God.

- It's locked!
- Fuck.

RUDY: Go in there!
Go in there now!


RUDY: Jim, run! Run!


Oh! Aah!


[Bones crushing]

[Snap] Uhh.

[Sara screams]

[Wood cracks]


Hey, Michael!
Yeah, I'm talking to you.

You want a piece of me?


You should try a little less
protein in your diet.

Control some
of that aggression, huh?

Want some of this, huh?

[All shouting]

I know what 911 is for!

This is an emergency.
It's not a hoax.

Motherfucker, come on.
Trying to fucking kill me?

Come on!
You like sushi, motherfucker?!

You gonna fucking kill me?

[Door rattles]
Oh, shit.


[Blade slashes]

[All cheer]


[Door creaks]

[Sobbing] Somebody...

somebody out there,
please help us.

Somebody, please help us.

She really is
a very talented actress.

[Beep beep]


Deckard, if you're there,
please let me know.

Who's Deckard?
Myles is Deckard.

GIRL: What do you mean?


he's killing all of us.

He's killing us.

GUY: There he is!
Upper right!

- Zoom in!
- Go to the other camera.

Tell her
he's coming up the stairs.

GIRL: This isn't funny anymore!
Do something!



- He heard her!
- Oh, my God.

ALL: He's at the door!

GIRL: Get her out!

[Door rattles]

SARA: Oh, my God.

- No!
- It's too high!



[Indistinct chattering]

[Crash] Uhh!


[Blade whipping]

[All shouting]

I can't see you!


Deckard, where is he?



Tell her to go!

- Now's her chance.
- Come on, go!

My God. Everybody's dead.

Where is he?

I don't know.

We got to get the fuck
outta here now.

Come on. Let's go.

[Freddie screaming]

[Thump] Oh, shit.



So, you want to be
on Dangertainment?

Let's see what you got.

Waa... hyah!



[Knife whipping]



Yo, Mike, come see me.

Michael, come and see me!
Look at me!

[Making kung fu noises]

You wanna fuck with me, huh?

You motherfucker.



[Dogs barking]

[Wood creaking]

Let's get outta here.
Come on.

FREDDIE: You all right?

I saw his room.

He's been living underneath
this fucking house...

for who knows how long.

Probably the last 20 years.

Come on.

I swear on my soul...

I had no idea.

I swear. [Beep]

FREDDIE: Aw, shit.

Come on. Let's go.

SARA: Oh, my God.
He cut the cable.

Where the fuck is he?


This is bad.

Deckard, where is he?


- No!
- Run! Oh!


[Scary music playing]

[Door rattles]





Oh, no.

[Breathing heavily]




[Objects falling]


[Gasps] Aah!



[Knife scraping]


[Sara breathing softly]



You bastard!

This is for Jen!

[Motor revs]

This is for Rudy!


For all of them!

[Chain saw revving]

[Electrical surge]

[Motor stops]

Oh, shit.

[Trying to start chain saw]


[Flames roar]




[Cans falling]




Trick or treat, motherfucker.






[Electrical surge]



Ohh! [Echoes]

[Electricity surging]

Burn, motherfucker! Burn!



Come on, come on!

SARA: Uhh!

Hey, Mikey!
Happy fucking Halloween!

[Flames roar]

[Sirens blaring]

[Woman chattering
on police radio]



Sara? Sara Moyer?

- Sara?
- Can we get a statement?

Hey, we can go live now.

SECOND REPORTER: What happened
with Michael Myers?

Thank you, Deckard.
You saved my life.

[All cheering]

What's it feel like
to be a hero, Sara?

How does it feel now
that it's all over?

What makes you so sure
it's over?

FREDDIE: Excuse me.

- Watch the camera!
- No more cameras!

is off the air.

Why don't
y'all show some respect?

Mr. Harris, would you like
to make a statement?

What can you tell us
about Michael Myers?

Michael Myers
is not a sound bite...

a spin-off, a tie-in,
some celebrity scandal.

Michael Myers is a killer shark
in baggy-ass overalls...

that gets his kicks
off of killing...

everything and everyone
that he comes across.

That's all.

We're done dancing
for these cameras.

Let's get outta here, Sara.

But how are you
feeling right now?


How am I feelin' now?

You wanna know how
I'm feelin' right now?

Feel this!

[Static buzzes]
My camera!

[Helicopter whirring]

SARA: That's him, isn't it?

I want to see his face.

I want to warn you, ma'am,
it's not a pretty sight.

[Sighs] All right.

Come on, back it off.
Let's go.


You're lookin' a little crispy
over there, Mikey.

Like some chicken-fried

Well, may he never,
ever rest in peace.

Hey, how's it going?

You've gotta be kidding me.

Another one?

It's your lucky night.

You got a celebrity.

Ooh, let me get
my autograph book.

I'm not kidding.
It's Michael Myers.


Get me a copy
of that autograph.

- Yeah, sure.
- Ha ha!

It's cracking me up.


[Halloween Theme playing]