Green Tea (2003) - full transcript
Well, apparently Wu Fang (Wei Zhao) is a young lady on a mission. Namely, to go on as many dates as quickly as possible, not to drink as much tea as possible, but to find the man of her dreams. Then there is her latest blind date, one Chen Mingliang (Wen Jiang), who is on a rebound and meeting Miss Wu. Will this one work out? After all, they seem to be opposites in so many ways.
You have a Master's degree?
I am studying for it
What are you studying?
Comparative Literature
Comparative Literature
Compare what literature?
The coffee here tastes nice
Would you like a cup?
No, thanks. I don't drink coffee
I have a friend who loves coffee
She makes it at home
The entire place smells like coffee
She has a coffeemaker that's this tall
I don't think it looks nice
You won't believe how much it costs
More than two months of my stipend
Hello, I am Chen Mingliang
I am Chen Mingliang
I am Wu Fang
How do you do?
What would you like to drink?
Anything
What would you like to drink?
Coffee
Green tea
One moment please
Hello?
Thanks
Enjoy Thanks
I have a friend who tells
fortune with tealeaves
Upon first meeting
she can tell most people's characters...
and their general fate
Actually I don't believe her
We've known each other
more than 10 years...
ever since junior high
I was surprised that she suddenly
acquired this skill
She never tells my fortune
Only others
Especially those she's just met
A lot of people say she is accurate
They bring their family and
friends to her later
I don't believe it
Whatever
Why don't you ask her over and
tell my fortune?
If she is really good
I'll take her to dinner
Do you take her as a waitress?
You beckon and she dashes over?
She doesn't dare, right?
Scared of the real stuff
Whatever
It's not whatever
I hate con artists
She's not a fraud
She just tells fortunes
Call her
Come soon
She can't
She's out of town
So she is a fraud
OK, let's just say she's a fraud
Why do you go on blind dates?
Why do you go on blind dates?
Do you want to get married?
Don't you?
Have you had boyfriends before?
Check please
I'll pay
Well, goodbye
Thanks for the tea
Not at all
Anything else?
How about chatting
some more in that hotel?
Let's get a room
Does slapping me make you pure?
Like a virgin?
I don't think you are
How do you know I'm not a virgin?
Don't think you can badmouth me just
because you paid the bill!
Slow down. Let me pay
Are you angry? I didn't mean bad
Why are you angry?
Fang!
It's me, Chen
Don't walk away
Let me carry these books for you
Gosh they are heavy
How did you know I was here?
I also have a friend who tells
fortune with tealeaves
Stop it!
Give me my books
Let me carry them for you
When can you finish reading them all?
None of your business
Why are you here?
Take me to a hotel room?
Is that the only thing you can think of?
What do you want?
Where did you go after
slapping me the other day?
Another blind date
More blind dates?
Anyone suitable?
What's it to do with you?
Give me the books
Why are you being so nosy?
They are too heavy for you
If there is no suitable suitor
let us chat some more
About what?
Let's have a drink somewhere
Maybe tea
Didn't your friend teach you
how to tell fortune?
Tell my fortune
You want to meet my friend?
Is that why you are here?
No, it's not
Let me help you
I said something rude last time
when we first met
You should have slapped me
So we are even now
You are smiling. Let's have a drink
I waited several hours for you
I'd only been here an hour
That's because you came the other way
How many blind dates have you had?
I don't remember
How many times?
Fifty or sixty?
What about you?
Just once with you
You are too good for blind dates
Am I good?
Pretty good
I was just dumped by my fiance
We bought a house together
and I lost her
Do you know why?
Why?
She had another man
I scolded her for
stepping onto two boats
She said she was the boat
Me and the other guy were oars
She picked the one that rowed better
We were together for years and
I was just an oar?
I was furious so I hit her
The way you hit me the other day
It couldn't be the same
You are much stronger
You're right
She fell down right away...
and cried
I said you should laugh
Good thing you said I was an oar
If you took me as a knife
you'd be dead now
Anyway
It's the most despicable thing...
for a man to hit a woman
for her I must go now
Why are you walking back?
I don't want coffee
Let's have tea then
I don't want tea either
What's wrong?
What did I say that offended you?
Don't smile at me
Why did you come back to me?
Because you hit me
You deserve it
I deserve it
And I owe you money
I have a date tonight
A blind date?
Let me go with you
Stop kidding around
I'm being serious
I'll keep my distance
I promise I won't disturb you
Let me check the guy out for you
How can that be?
It won't do
It's safer this way
Having a male chaperon
Have some water
Thank you
You are welcome
It's a nice day
Aren't you hot?
I'm fine
I'll untie a button
You can do whatever you like
Aren't you bored with studying everyday?
It's OK
Reserved women like you
are rare these days
A friend once said...
the good thing about me
is that I'm conservative
The bad thing is I am too conservative
Boyfriend, or girlfriend?
Would I be here if I had a boyfriend?
Of course it's a girlfriend
Very pretty!
She changes boyfriends
faster than the weather
That woman looks so uncouth smoking
I disagree
My girlfriend smokes as well...
and she looks quite charming
She says cigarettes made for
women don't smell much
Men don't feel repulsed when you
kiss them after smoking
What does your friend do?
She's also a graduate student
Wu Fang?
I am Chen Mingliang
I thought you looked familiar
I looked at you from every angle
I thought it might be you
You are wearing glasses now
You didn't use to wear them
A friend of yours?
The world is so small
My high school classmate
Classmates since kindergarten
Then primary school and high school
Have you forgotten?
Are your teeth whiter than before?
No wonder I couldn't
recognize you at once
1 did it for you
Didn't you see how untrustworthy...
that guy was?
Still angry?
Weren't we classmates once?
Who was your classmate?
Let's end it here
We'll go on our separate ways
And not see each other till death
You look so quiet and civil
But you talk so viciously
Why are you in such a rush
to marry yourself off?
Why do you hurry? For marriage
I want to
So old fashioned
What do you mean?
I am just like what my friend says
Fang, the good thing about you
is that you are conservative
And the bad thing
is you are too conservative
Your friend is funny
What does she do?
Are you interested in her?
I just think what she says is funny
I don't think so
- She is quite cynical
- Really?
Her mother
whose experience affected her greatly
raised her alone
You'll never guess what
her mother did for a living
What did she do?
Anyway
some people look tough in appearance
But it's a sign of weakness
What did her mother do?
Nothing
Don't stop half way
She was a makeup artist
Isn't that nice?
Not for the living
But for the dead
Sounds interesting
She lied to her husband
when they married
She said she was a nurse
Many years later
After their baby was born
her husband learned the truth
Their story was quite bizarre
Stranger than film and fiction
Even the best writer can't dream it up
I must go now
Why?
It's just getting interesting
Don't leave me hanging
Why don't you pick up the bill
We'll be even
Shall we meet tomorrow?
What for?
Can't we just have a chat?
Pure chitchat
I'm busy tomorrow
I really must go
Can't you let me go?
All right!
Are you serious?
When have I lied to you?
Excuse me
Why isn't Lang playing tonight?
I'm sorry sir
She plays between 8 and 10 every night
Thank you
Not at all
What do you think?
Shall we try?
Couldn't find you all night
And here you are
I did something amazing tonight
I've never done it before
Really exciting stuff
I saw an amazing girl
Are you listening?
I heard you. A girl
Really amazing
What's the matter?
A girl. Go on
What's the matter?
I'll take you out for some fun
That friend of yours
What happened after
her father learned...
that her mother was
a beautician for the dead?
Is that what you meant by
having something very important...
to talk about with me?
Yes
Can't you be serious?
How am I not serious?
Is this important?
Of course
I couldn't eat or sleep for a few days
But think about your story all the time
Isn't that important?
I know you're depressed
about losing your fiance
But I don't have time
to amuse you everyday
I think you've got lots of time
You go on so many blind dates
You must have plenty of time
I didn't mean to provoke you
I meant, instead of going on
blind dates with strange men
Why don't you chat with me
and tell me stories
What do you think?
Let's have dinner together tonight
I have a class tonight
Since you are here
can't you look happier?
Smile to me
When I was in junior high
I saw her father a few times
His face was of a strange color
Have you ever seen
the stalk of a bok choy?
Yes
White with a green tint
translucent almost
He had long and messy hair...
and an eccentric voice
Once I was at their house at lunchtime
her mom put a plate of food on the table
Her dad tapped the plate
hard with a chopstick
Asking her if she had put poison in it
I was shocked
Why would she poison the food?
Her mom looked down in silence
Her dad said
don't show me that dead face
Marrying you was the worst
blow fate had dealt me
You not only smell like the dead
you look dead as well
Her mom whispered that
she didn't poison the food
Her dad swept
all the dishes onto the floor
Laughing one moment and crying the next
Saying, please put some poison in it!
Kill me with poison!
I was so scared
I had never seen anyone like this
On our way to school
my friend told me that
her dad was demented
Her mom was very pretty and very gentle
With beautiful hands
I heard about her profession after
I had gone to college
I didn't think it mattered
You're in a different
position from her dad
Some issues are more sensitive
between husband and wife
Don't look at me that way
I despise this kind of man
Incompetent and violent to women
He not only beat his wife
but his own child when he was drunk
Sometimes her sleeves
couldn't cover the bruises
You are really skinny
But your skin is fine
Why cover yourself up?
Being shy?
You're at it again
I haven't seen a shy woman
for a long while
I have to go
Shall we meet here again tomorrow?
Don't push your luck
If you don't come
I'll go to your school everyday
And wait for you at the gate
And go into your classroom
Why do you go on blind dates?
I want to get married
Why do you want to get married?
Because like me, you are lonely
Which is perfect
I can drink tea with you
and talk with you
Why are you avoiding me?
The first time I saw you
I knew you were a scoundrel
Actually I'm quite nice
Eventually
you'd know what an asshole I am
To tell you the truth
I think I am the man you are looking for
As a matter of fact
I am as good as ten men
Instead of seeing ten other men
you are better off chatting with just me
You really know how to flatter yourself
Is that self-flattering?
I just want you to know me better
I know you already
Then let me know you better
See you tomorrow
I have classes tomorrow
I really must go
The day after tomorrow then
OK
See you then
You can take her away if you like her
Impossible
I don't believe it
Nor did I in the beginning
I wouldn't have believed it
If you told me so
But it's true
What's that guy doing?
You waited too long
You have to be decisive and act fast
You missed your chance today
Is it that simple?
In junior high
she was nicknamed Wrinkly
Our literature teacher once joked...
that her face was
too wrinkled for her age
That's how she got her nickname
So it meant her face
I thought it meant something else
What happened later?
Later, her dad got worse
Beating her mom everyday
Saying he couldn't stand her hands
And asked her to wear
gloves at all times
Even in her sleep
There was a long plastic rope...
on a wall in their house
On it hanged a few dozen pairs of gloves
Later on
her dad became dissatisfied with gloves
He said they still
emitted the smell of the dead
He said as soon as he smelled it
he'd want to die
Just let him die
Are you God?
People die at your command?
What could they do?
Why didn't they get a divorce?
Her mom did ask for a divorce
But her dad didn't agree
He said her mom's hands
had ruined his life
He'd divorce her
if she'd cut off her hands
Have you made this story up?
I seem to have seen it in some movie
What did I say that gave me away?
Nothing
Thank you
I don't think you lied to me
Why?
My ex-girlfriend was
the kind of people...
who couldn't open
their mouths without lying
You don't seem to be that type
Don't miss your chance tonight
Rush over as soon as
she sits at the piano
Here she is
Did you hear me?
Actually I'm not that anxious
Are you a man or not?
Just you wait
Fang?
What did you say to her?
She is Fang
You must be mistaken
She is that graduate student
Impossible
All the men here want her
Why does she need to go on blind dates?
After this piece...
you can leave with her
I told her I'd wait for her at the door
I didn't know you
played the piano so well
Do you drink green tea?
I want to lose weight
Besides
tea is especially thirst-quenching
You are thin enough
Am I?
Fang?
You are Fang. Stop pretending
Want a cigarette?
No thanks
I'll have one
Ok I'll smoke one
Why don't you admit you are Fang?
Who is Fang?
You
Do you have a girlfriend?
Not now
How many have you had before?
Three
Only three?
How did you break up with them?
The one in senior high...
didn't work out because we went to
different universities
The one in my freshman year...
broke up after a fight
The last one broke up last month
For what reason?
I already told you once
About being an oar
You're funny
Let me tell you
I've seen hundreds of men
Whatever your motives
don't play games with me
Who is playing games?
Not me
You look just like her
You even sound like her
Who? Fang and I?
You speak the same way
You are Fang
Don't be so juvenile
Fang and Lang. They even sound similar
What a cliche way to pick up a girl
Have you no other name...
than Lang?
Do you plan to come over to my place...
and verify who I am?
At least 7 or 8 men have had
the same idea before you
Your hand is so big. It can wrap mine
Like a glove?
That's right
Have you heard the story of gloves?
No
No?
A friend of mine told me a story...
about a girl whose mother was
a beautician for the dead
Her husband initially didn't know
When he learned about it later
he developed psychological problems
And asked her to wear
gloves all the time
You've never heard this story?
Is it a true story?
How could it be possible?
Which of the three girlfriends
was this girl?
None. What are you thinking about?
If you don't want to tell me
I'll stop asking
Why are you doing this?
What?
Doing this with men?
Doing what with men?
Drinking and chatting
What's so bad about drinking and
chatting with men?
I didn't mean that
What did you mean?
You know what I meant
It's just like playing the piano
It's my job
A relaxing way of making money
What's wrong with it?
It wouldn't be so relaxing
if you meet a bad guy
What is a bad guy?
Aren't these people
on the street bad guys?
There aren't any bad guys in this world
Only businessmen
You work at night
What do you do during the day?
You work during the day
What do you do at night?
Sleep of course
You are so cute
I'm off
Shall I escort you a while longer?
That's not necessary
Why aren't you eating?
Eat some more
Do you intellectuals only care about
spiritual stuff and not material?
That depends
Why are you looking at me like that?
Have some food
Women I used to know all loved money
I think that's fine
I feel secure when women love money
I knew you were a smart woman when
I first saw you
Don't you like smart women?
See, you are smart
There is nothing wrong with that
But it's difficult to set standards
Do you understand?
Eat something. Why aren't you eating?
We can be friends
Come to me if you need help
I'll do what I can
If you have financial problems...
You are too kind
How nice it is for men to have money
I have a friend. She's very pretty
She says men can't be too poor
A poor man is a bitter man
The poorer, the bitterer
And difficult to be with
She only befriends rich men
Filthy rich men...
who drive Mercedes and BMW
And talks of tens of millions of dollars
Much richer than you
But like you, they have standards
All successful men have standards
I don't love money that much
It's like having clothes
A piece more feels
the same as a piece less
My friend is different
She turns men's heads...
even in a pair of 20 dollar jeans
She is so beautiful
I'm the other way around
Nobody would look at me
Even if I were wearing something
worth 20,000
Hi
Am I late?
No. I'm early
I made green tea for you
Thanks
What's with you lately?
Obsessed with this place
Don't you like it here?
Other cafes are always too dim...
with sofas that feel like beds
Even a nice guy like me would have
unorthodox thoughts after a while
Let alone you
You are quite pretty
Are you trying to comfort me?
No. You are the type...
that looks ordinary initially
But becomes prettier with time
Why can't you be serious?
How can others trust you?
They admire my morality
Have some wine
What are you doing?
Give them back to me!
I want to see what you look like
without your glasses
Give them back to me
Just one look
Give them to me!
I just want to have one look
Give them to me!
I think you are prettier without glasses
I am really, really sorry
I didn't mean badly
I was just kidding around
Although we aren't
exactly childhood sweethearts
we are still friends in away, aren't we?
We've had a few cups of tea together...
and a few cups of coffee
You can tell I'm a nice guy
I am honest and kind-hearted
Anyway I am sorry
If you like
as long as it can ease off your anger
you can do whatever you want to
As long as you can stop being angry
just do whatever suits you
Can you really keep a promise?
Yes
Ok, our friendship ends here
You walk on your wide road...
and I'll cross my single-plank bridge
As if we'd never met
Ok, on one condition
What? You take the wide road...
and let me cross the single-plank bridge
I can't let a bespectacled female graduate
student take the single-plank bridge
I'll take it
Why are you such a butthead?
Yes, I can be quite shameless
Sometimes you're too much to handle
That depends on whom you compare me with
With that father of your mysterious
friend as the bottom line
there are no unbearable
men in this world
Why compare yourself to him?
He's been dead more than 10 years
How did he die?
Murdered
By whom?
Who exorcized this devil for the world?
You have no compassion
I have compassion. It depends for whom
Tell me what happened exactly?
There is no answer
It stirred up such a sensation
Wife killing husband
Everybody talked about it
This type of story always gets distorted
Some said her mom stabbed her dad 30
times with a sharp knife
Some said she chopped him with an axe
Some even claimed that her mom slit
her dad's throat in his sleep
spilling blood all over the wall
Actually when it happened
my friend was there
And saw the whole thing
She said she had a
premonition that morning
She was really scared
After her father died
she became famous in her school
People gossiped about her behind her back
A long time later
when talking about it
she said she killed her father
How old was she?
Fourteen or fifteen
Why?
Nothing
She didn't have to die for murder
She was under the legal age
Before she told me about it
her mother was sent to jail for
unintentional manslaughter
Why?
Her mother admitted in court that
she had killed him
Was there any evidence?
Does confession count as evidence?
Her father was killed in the kitchen
Her mom was cooking in the kitchen
Her dad was drunk...
and attempted to rape her mom
Her mom resisted
Her dad became angry
He knocked her mom's head on the wok
You know that kind of thick
cast-iron wok
He knocked so hard that her head broke
Blood ran all over her face
My friend was frightened
She went over in tears and
pulled her dad's legs
But she was too weak for him
He kicked her in the heart
She fell down and couldn't move
Her mom was enraged
She picked up the wok and
threw it at her dad
knocking him over
It wasn't fatal
But when her dad fell
he bumped onto a potato peeler
It slit an artery on his neck
That's how her dad died
What?
I'm telling you a story
You've taken it seriously?
What happened later?
I told you it's a story
What later?
All stories have an ending
Her mom was sentenced to 20 years...
for unintentional manslaughter
Eat together?
The story is finished. Stop following me
Have dinner with me?
I have a class tonight
You are lying
Learned how to identify truth from
fake from your girlfriend?
Let me follow you to your school
If you really have classes
I promise I won't harass you again
Can't you stop being such a butthead?
I swear I am serious
Ok. I'll tell you
I don't have classes tonight
I guessed as much
But I do have a date
A blind one?
Can you not go?
I'm almost late
I really must go. Bye bye
Wait
What do you think of me?
What do you mean?
How about me?
Would you like to be my girlfriend?
Can't you be serious?
I am serious
You are never serious
Right now I am
I'll seriously answer you: no
Why not?
What about you?
Why do you want me as your girlfriend?
I can't articulate it
But I know it in my heart
How should I put it?
Like, the way you talk
Especially when you are angry
What kind of reason is that?
Yes I often go on blind dates
I enjoy doing it
I know I'm ugly and men don't like me
But I'd rather be
rejected by other men...
than accepting your offer
What do you take me for?
An aid recipient?
I don't regard you as an aid recipient
I don't want to talk to you
Don't follow me
Why don't you want to talk to me?
What the hell! What?
Are you nuts?
I want to talk to you
My girlfriend is here
Come back tomorrow
Let me put down the beer. It's heavy
Come tomorrow
I'll sit here
I promise I won't look that way
I need to talk to you
Otherwise I'm too depressed
Are you crazy?
Get out!
Or I'll call the police
Go ahead and call the police
I'll talk to them...
and stop bothering you
You didn't drink
Why are you acting drunk?
Why don't you go downstairs?
I'll follow you down later
What's wrong with saying a few words?
I won't look your way
You can do whatever you like
Just regard me as a blind man
What's wrong? Bad mood?
I seem to understand women less and less
Girlfriend of many years...
became someone else's wife
Just when we were about to marry
There used to be
many bitter women before
Now there are more and more bitter men
I'm not bitter but full of hatred
I don't hate her
I hate myself
She had an affair right in front of me
And I didn't detect it at all
Ain't I the stupidest
idiot in the world?
You are not stupid
You just trusted her too much
All my friends
including myself
think I am a complete idiot
People think I am a hooker
We don't live our lives for others
In reality, I'm playing the role
of a psychotherapist
You are the prettiest therapist
in the world
I thought you were nice
But you are quite slick-tongued
I'm telling the truth
Did I tell you that my
ex-girlfriend was a pianist?
Really?
We went to the same university
She was studying music
She played the piano at bars
in her spare time
She made a lot of money
We bought a house together
Had it all done up
We even had our wedding photos taken
And she married someone else
Maybe you two weren't
meant for each other
That's for sure
Maybe when we leave this bar later
you'll meet the girl of
your dreams at the door
You say I'm slick-tongued
I think you are
I'm not being slick-tongued
I'm just being professional
You pay for me to talk to you
And I must make you feel good
You are so nice
Why don't you take me home?
Now the truth comes out
I didn't mean that
I don't want to do anything to you
I just don't like going home
It makes me depressed
Reminding me of many unhappy events
The way you describe your girlfriend...
makes me jealous
Is she pretty?
Not as pretty as you
Her name is Fang?
No
Fang is someone else
Your new girlfriend?
She is not my girlfriend
She is just a friend
What are you complaining about...
now that you've got a new girlfriend?
I've said she is not my girlfriend
She rejected me
She is avoiding me now
Her mobile is always off
No wonder
Sorry, the subscriber you have
dialed is powered off
Sorry, the subscriber you have
dialed is powered off
Sorry, the subscriber you have
dialed is powered off
I want to talk to you about something
Will you swap houses with me?
Are you nuts? No way!
You don't want to exchange your dump
for my 3-bedroom apartment?
I hate going home
Do you understand?
I'll keep harassing you
So what some bitch dumped you?
Must you hang yourself on that tree?
None of the trees will let me
hang myself on them
Do you want the pianist or
the graduate student?
I'm not giving you a hard time
Listen to me
Stop fancying Lang
She's the forest type...
who appears to be full of roads
But after going around a while
you find yourself in the same spot
Apart from delusions and traps
there are no roads at all
How do you know?
Don't forget I went around
the forest before you
Is there another type of women...
who appears to have no roads
But is in fact full of them?
Yes
They are called the Rome type
All roads lead to Rome
Try to concentrate
on that graduate student
An ugly wife is priceless...
as the old saying goes
She's not ugly
She becomes prettier with time
Then what are you doing here?
You asked me over
Don't come to me any more
Why not?
It's not necessary
If you are lonely
find yourself a nice girlfriend
Who said I'm lonely?
I have a girlfriend
Really?
It's that graduate student
I told you about
The story I told you...
happened to her friend's parents
She tells fortune with tealeaves
She is full of surprises
Do you think I like her?
Judging by the way you act
I can tell you like her a lot
I don't deny it
You two are different
How so?
She is the type...
that makes one feel close to
You are the type that...
Knocks one over
Yes you knock men over
Do you think you are like a pill?
Or a..
Baseball bat
Do you have a boyfriend?
Several hundred
I mean...
Don't be silly
No boyfriend? Oh well...
Dream on!
Then you do have a boyfriend
Let's just say I do
Actually my dad was also a loser
He wrote a play when he was young
During the Cultural Revolution
And became famous overnight
A young and amorous talent
He had a lot of fans
Although not as crazy as today's fans
My mom was very pretty
Dad picked her amongst
several hundred girls
All his life
he only wrote that one script
And was glamorous for only a few months
Marrying him didn't bring my mother...
any happiness
But lots of pain
She says to me...
she's a walnut
Before marrying she was juicy...
and lovely
Marriage turned her into a tough nut
Dark and jabbing
Later, when the shell was cracked
and the kernel exposed
her life became better
You are the walnut kernel
That's right
What does your mom do?
She runs a glove factory
Glove factory?
Gloves again!
Hello?
It's you!
This is Chen. This is Chen
I know
I can tell
I was really worried these days
Where have you been?
Why is your phone always off?
Why don't you answer my calls?
Conference? What conference?
Can't I call you without any reason?
Ok...
You are tired
Rest for now
I'm happy to know your phone is on
And I can find you
Ok. All right
I'll call you tomorrow
Ok?
See you tomorrow
Ok. Goodbye
Can you help me analyze myself?
Why do I always think of you?
Stop it
What?
Stop making fun of me
How am I making fun of you?
Do you know what's missing in you?
What?
Femininity
A really feminine woman...
would have been flattered by what I said
But you are so stiff
Stiff?
You think I'm a corpse?
Would I regard you as a corpse?
You've studied too much...
without thorough comprehension
Where you should be sensitive
you're not;
and where you shouldn't be
you're too sensitive
What's it to you?
I care about you
I'm worried you might be conned
I went on a date during
the conference in Hangzhou...
with a postdoc, a critic
Fie!
What?
A blind date in Hangzhou?
What's wrong?
Can you stop embarrassing yourself?
You go on one blind date after another
And get despised over and over
If it doesn't hurt your self-respect
it hurts mine
Can't you change your strategy?
Don't you know...
There is a rainbow in front of you
And you needn't
run through thunderstorms
You really like me?
It sounds corny
But when you were away
I really missed you
Other men despise me
why not you?
I'm not other men
I can see what others can't see
Stop going on blind dates
It's so chaotic out there
What if you meet some bad guys?
You're not as tough as other women
You look like a bad guy
How do you know I'm not tough?
Judging by what you just said
Don't you know...
tough women don't talk like you
The tougher they are
the softer they speak
I didn't know you were
so experienced in this respect
It's not experience
It's perception
How is your friend's
mom doing in prison?
She was released two years ago
Oh yeah?
But she went back in after a while
Why?
I'm not quite sure
Where did she go back?
Back in jail?
I think so
Why? Because she likes it so much?
She couldn't get used
to the outside world
Will you let me meet your friend?
I won't
Why not?
I'm afraid you'll fall in love with her
Can you not turn your mobile off?
Just a moment
Nothing much
Don't hang up. I'm not finished
Shall we have dinner together tonight?
With some of my friends
Can't you make an exception?
I've already promised them
Just do me a favor
Come over
I'm begging you please
Just pretend I'm a strange man
And it's a blind date
Hello? I can't hear you
I can't hear her
Sorry, the subscriber you have
dialed is powered off
Sorry, the subscriber you have
dialed is powered off
Hit
What do you want?
You know Where are we going?
I'm having dinner with some friends
But I can't find my girlfriend
Why don't you come in her place?
Where is that graduate student?
If I could find her, I wouldn't...
No, I wouldn't take her even if
I could find her
I'm begging you to do me a favor
I don't look like a graduate student
You do, except for this dress
I don't have anything else
Let's go and buy you something
Ok
Which way? This way or this way?
This way
Let's go
Gosh! Is it true?
On the beach, whack! Head split open
This is Fang
Fang Hello! Impossible!
Come and have a seat
Fang has a master's degree
Beautiful and talented
Are you envious or jealous?
Look at my boyfriend
He's salivating
What are you talking about?
I'm telling the truth
Forgive him
He's been a loser since childhood
Let's drink a toast
For Chen and his charming girlfriend
Bottoms up Jun
When did you learn
to use such superlatives?
When I see a beauty
Every man becomes eloquent
in the presence of a beauty
What beauty? She's just ordinary
Only number 3 in the country
You are so ungrateful
You are quite talkative tonight
So are you
Oh so I'm wrong
I'm sorry my darling
You can tell fortune with tealeaves
right?
Would you like to show them how?
Who says I can tell fortune?
I can only tell something about love
That's great!
How do you do it? How do you do it?
Don't mess up your tealeaves
By just looking
at the leaves in your teacup
she can tell your fate
I'm first. Lady first
Gosh you're anxious
You really want to know? Yes
Are you paying?
Anything
You are a smart woman
Quite manipulative
True
You know how to play cards with men
And have them do
what you want them to do
But you are too anxious and impatient
You can conquer men quickly
But in turn show your flaws too soon
In fact, you look tough but
are actually quite weak
You trick men into loving you
But eventually they'd come to resent you
Normal men don't like you
They'd try to get rid of you quickly
In general, it should be said...
that you can make men fall in love
with you at first sight
That's true
But you can't keep a
long-term relationship
It's hard for you to
obtain everlasting love
Sounds like I should
marry myself off soon
Yes, yes It's useless
It won't change your fate
What is fate?
These dumb tealeaves?
Sometimes, fate is just a few tealeaves
Why did you pinch me?
I didn't
Didn't you ask me to do this?
Right
I was just kidding
Don't take it seriously
I won't
That's great
Let me toast to everyone
It was just a joke
But she is good
Chen, have another one
Stop drinking
Come, bottoms up
I've hit my limit
Yes or no?
Yes or no?
All right, last one
There is no wine left
Waitress, open another bottle
Are you nuts? You are nuts!
Didn't we come out to drink?
Don't overdo it
Who's overdoing it?
Open them all
I'll pay if he won't
Please stop this nonsense
I'll drink with you
But I won't drink with you
I just want to drink with Chen
What's for!
Come, Chen, cheers
I can't
Another one
I'm about to throw up Stop it!
Are you up for it?
You are not a man if you don't drink it
Ok I'm not a man
So, after all
You are not a man
Since you are not a man
1 will drink up for you
Stop drinking
Fill it up
Why must you mess it all up?
Don't yell at me!
I hate it when a man yells at me
Stop it! I'll stop yelling
And you'll sit here quietly
How am I not quiet?
Why am I drinking like this?
Isn't it all for you?
I know you like Chen's girlfriend!
I'll help you
I'll get Chen drunk so
you'll get a chance
Jun!
I hate it when a man hits a woman
Why did you hit my boyfriend?
I'll kill you!
Hi
May we have a room?
What type of room?
Can you help me analyze myself?
Why do I always think of you?
Stop it! What?
Stop making fun of me
How am I making fun of you?
Do you know what's missing in you?
What?
Femininity
A really feminine woman...
would have been flattered by what I said
But when you were away
I really missed you
Other men despise me
why not you?
I'm not other men
You've studied too much...
without thorough comprehension
Where you should be sensitive
you're not;
and where you shouldn't be
you're too sensitive
I didn't know you were so
experienced in this respect
You go on one blind date after another
And get despised over and over
If it doesn't hurt your self-respect
it hurts mine!
Can't you change your strategy?
Don't you know...
there is a rainbow in front of you
And you needn't
run through thunderstorms
You really like me?
I am studying for it
What are you studying?
Comparative Literature
Comparative Literature
Compare what literature?
The coffee here tastes nice
Would you like a cup?
No, thanks. I don't drink coffee
I have a friend who loves coffee
She makes it at home
The entire place smells like coffee
She has a coffeemaker that's this tall
I don't think it looks nice
You won't believe how much it costs
More than two months of my stipend
Hello, I am Chen Mingliang
I am Chen Mingliang
I am Wu Fang
How do you do?
What would you like to drink?
Anything
What would you like to drink?
Coffee
Green tea
One moment please
Hello?
Thanks
Enjoy Thanks
I have a friend who tells
fortune with tealeaves
Upon first meeting
she can tell most people's characters...
and their general fate
Actually I don't believe her
We've known each other
more than 10 years...
ever since junior high
I was surprised that she suddenly
acquired this skill
She never tells my fortune
Only others
Especially those she's just met
A lot of people say she is accurate
They bring their family and
friends to her later
I don't believe it
Whatever
Why don't you ask her over and
tell my fortune?
If she is really good
I'll take her to dinner
Do you take her as a waitress?
You beckon and she dashes over?
She doesn't dare, right?
Scared of the real stuff
Whatever
It's not whatever
I hate con artists
She's not a fraud
She just tells fortunes
Call her
Come soon
She can't
She's out of town
So she is a fraud
OK, let's just say she's a fraud
Why do you go on blind dates?
Why do you go on blind dates?
Do you want to get married?
Don't you?
Have you had boyfriends before?
Check please
I'll pay
Well, goodbye
Thanks for the tea
Not at all
Anything else?
How about chatting
some more in that hotel?
Let's get a room
Does slapping me make you pure?
Like a virgin?
I don't think you are
How do you know I'm not a virgin?
Don't think you can badmouth me just
because you paid the bill!
Slow down. Let me pay
Are you angry? I didn't mean bad
Why are you angry?
Fang!
It's me, Chen
Don't walk away
Let me carry these books for you
Gosh they are heavy
How did you know I was here?
I also have a friend who tells
fortune with tealeaves
Stop it!
Give me my books
Let me carry them for you
When can you finish reading them all?
None of your business
Why are you here?
Take me to a hotel room?
Is that the only thing you can think of?
What do you want?
Where did you go after
slapping me the other day?
Another blind date
More blind dates?
Anyone suitable?
What's it to do with you?
Give me the books
Why are you being so nosy?
They are too heavy for you
If there is no suitable suitor
let us chat some more
About what?
Let's have a drink somewhere
Maybe tea
Didn't your friend teach you
how to tell fortune?
Tell my fortune
You want to meet my friend?
Is that why you are here?
No, it's not
Let me help you
I said something rude last time
when we first met
You should have slapped me
So we are even now
You are smiling. Let's have a drink
I waited several hours for you
I'd only been here an hour
That's because you came the other way
How many blind dates have you had?
I don't remember
How many times?
Fifty or sixty?
What about you?
Just once with you
You are too good for blind dates
Am I good?
Pretty good
I was just dumped by my fiance
We bought a house together
and I lost her
Do you know why?
Why?
She had another man
I scolded her for
stepping onto two boats
She said she was the boat
Me and the other guy were oars
She picked the one that rowed better
We were together for years and
I was just an oar?
I was furious so I hit her
The way you hit me the other day
It couldn't be the same
You are much stronger
You're right
She fell down right away...
and cried
I said you should laugh
Good thing you said I was an oar
If you took me as a knife
you'd be dead now
Anyway
It's the most despicable thing...
for a man to hit a woman
for her I must go now
Why are you walking back?
I don't want coffee
Let's have tea then
I don't want tea either
What's wrong?
What did I say that offended you?
Don't smile at me
Why did you come back to me?
Because you hit me
You deserve it
I deserve it
And I owe you money
I have a date tonight
A blind date?
Let me go with you
Stop kidding around
I'm being serious
I'll keep my distance
I promise I won't disturb you
Let me check the guy out for you
How can that be?
It won't do
It's safer this way
Having a male chaperon
Have some water
Thank you
You are welcome
It's a nice day
Aren't you hot?
I'm fine
I'll untie a button
You can do whatever you like
Aren't you bored with studying everyday?
It's OK
Reserved women like you
are rare these days
A friend once said...
the good thing about me
is that I'm conservative
The bad thing is I am too conservative
Boyfriend, or girlfriend?
Would I be here if I had a boyfriend?
Of course it's a girlfriend
Very pretty!
She changes boyfriends
faster than the weather
That woman looks so uncouth smoking
I disagree
My girlfriend smokes as well...
and she looks quite charming
She says cigarettes made for
women don't smell much
Men don't feel repulsed when you
kiss them after smoking
What does your friend do?
She's also a graduate student
Wu Fang?
I am Chen Mingliang
I thought you looked familiar
I looked at you from every angle
I thought it might be you
You are wearing glasses now
You didn't use to wear them
A friend of yours?
The world is so small
My high school classmate
Classmates since kindergarten
Then primary school and high school
Have you forgotten?
Are your teeth whiter than before?
No wonder I couldn't
recognize you at once
1 did it for you
Didn't you see how untrustworthy...
that guy was?
Still angry?
Weren't we classmates once?
Who was your classmate?
Let's end it here
We'll go on our separate ways
And not see each other till death
You look so quiet and civil
But you talk so viciously
Why are you in such a rush
to marry yourself off?
Why do you hurry? For marriage
I want to
So old fashioned
What do you mean?
I am just like what my friend says
Fang, the good thing about you
is that you are conservative
And the bad thing
is you are too conservative
Your friend is funny
What does she do?
Are you interested in her?
I just think what she says is funny
I don't think so
- She is quite cynical
- Really?
Her mother
whose experience affected her greatly
raised her alone
You'll never guess what
her mother did for a living
What did she do?
Anyway
some people look tough in appearance
But it's a sign of weakness
What did her mother do?
Nothing
Don't stop half way
She was a makeup artist
Isn't that nice?
Not for the living
But for the dead
Sounds interesting
She lied to her husband
when they married
She said she was a nurse
Many years later
After their baby was born
her husband learned the truth
Their story was quite bizarre
Stranger than film and fiction
Even the best writer can't dream it up
I must go now
Why?
It's just getting interesting
Don't leave me hanging
Why don't you pick up the bill
We'll be even
Shall we meet tomorrow?
What for?
Can't we just have a chat?
Pure chitchat
I'm busy tomorrow
I really must go
Can't you let me go?
All right!
Are you serious?
When have I lied to you?
Excuse me
Why isn't Lang playing tonight?
I'm sorry sir
She plays between 8 and 10 every night
Thank you
Not at all
What do you think?
Shall we try?
Couldn't find you all night
And here you are
I did something amazing tonight
I've never done it before
Really exciting stuff
I saw an amazing girl
Are you listening?
I heard you. A girl
Really amazing
What's the matter?
A girl. Go on
What's the matter?
I'll take you out for some fun
That friend of yours
What happened after
her father learned...
that her mother was
a beautician for the dead?
Is that what you meant by
having something very important...
to talk about with me?
Yes
Can't you be serious?
How am I not serious?
Is this important?
Of course
I couldn't eat or sleep for a few days
But think about your story all the time
Isn't that important?
I know you're depressed
about losing your fiance
But I don't have time
to amuse you everyday
I think you've got lots of time
You go on so many blind dates
You must have plenty of time
I didn't mean to provoke you
I meant, instead of going on
blind dates with strange men
Why don't you chat with me
and tell me stories
What do you think?
Let's have dinner together tonight
I have a class tonight
Since you are here
can't you look happier?
Smile to me
When I was in junior high
I saw her father a few times
His face was of a strange color
Have you ever seen
the stalk of a bok choy?
Yes
White with a green tint
translucent almost
He had long and messy hair...
and an eccentric voice
Once I was at their house at lunchtime
her mom put a plate of food on the table
Her dad tapped the plate
hard with a chopstick
Asking her if she had put poison in it
I was shocked
Why would she poison the food?
Her mom looked down in silence
Her dad said
don't show me that dead face
Marrying you was the worst
blow fate had dealt me
You not only smell like the dead
you look dead as well
Her mom whispered that
she didn't poison the food
Her dad swept
all the dishes onto the floor
Laughing one moment and crying the next
Saying, please put some poison in it!
Kill me with poison!
I was so scared
I had never seen anyone like this
On our way to school
my friend told me that
her dad was demented
Her mom was very pretty and very gentle
With beautiful hands
I heard about her profession after
I had gone to college
I didn't think it mattered
You're in a different
position from her dad
Some issues are more sensitive
between husband and wife
Don't look at me that way
I despise this kind of man
Incompetent and violent to women
He not only beat his wife
but his own child when he was drunk
Sometimes her sleeves
couldn't cover the bruises
You are really skinny
But your skin is fine
Why cover yourself up?
Being shy?
You're at it again
I haven't seen a shy woman
for a long while
I have to go
Shall we meet here again tomorrow?
Don't push your luck
If you don't come
I'll go to your school everyday
And wait for you at the gate
And go into your classroom
Why do you go on blind dates?
I want to get married
Why do you want to get married?
Because like me, you are lonely
Which is perfect
I can drink tea with you
and talk with you
Why are you avoiding me?
The first time I saw you
I knew you were a scoundrel
Actually I'm quite nice
Eventually
you'd know what an asshole I am
To tell you the truth
I think I am the man you are looking for
As a matter of fact
I am as good as ten men
Instead of seeing ten other men
you are better off chatting with just me
You really know how to flatter yourself
Is that self-flattering?
I just want you to know me better
I know you already
Then let me know you better
See you tomorrow
I have classes tomorrow
I really must go
The day after tomorrow then
OK
See you then
You can take her away if you like her
Impossible
I don't believe it
Nor did I in the beginning
I wouldn't have believed it
If you told me so
But it's true
What's that guy doing?
You waited too long
You have to be decisive and act fast
You missed your chance today
Is it that simple?
In junior high
she was nicknamed Wrinkly
Our literature teacher once joked...
that her face was
too wrinkled for her age
That's how she got her nickname
So it meant her face
I thought it meant something else
What happened later?
Later, her dad got worse
Beating her mom everyday
Saying he couldn't stand her hands
And asked her to wear
gloves at all times
Even in her sleep
There was a long plastic rope...
on a wall in their house
On it hanged a few dozen pairs of gloves
Later on
her dad became dissatisfied with gloves
He said they still
emitted the smell of the dead
He said as soon as he smelled it
he'd want to die
Just let him die
Are you God?
People die at your command?
What could they do?
Why didn't they get a divorce?
Her mom did ask for a divorce
But her dad didn't agree
He said her mom's hands
had ruined his life
He'd divorce her
if she'd cut off her hands
Have you made this story up?
I seem to have seen it in some movie
What did I say that gave me away?
Nothing
Thank you
I don't think you lied to me
Why?
My ex-girlfriend was
the kind of people...
who couldn't open
their mouths without lying
You don't seem to be that type
Don't miss your chance tonight
Rush over as soon as
she sits at the piano
Here she is
Did you hear me?
Actually I'm not that anxious
Are you a man or not?
Just you wait
Fang?
What did you say to her?
She is Fang
You must be mistaken
She is that graduate student
Impossible
All the men here want her
Why does she need to go on blind dates?
After this piece...
you can leave with her
I told her I'd wait for her at the door
I didn't know you
played the piano so well
Do you drink green tea?
I want to lose weight
Besides
tea is especially thirst-quenching
You are thin enough
Am I?
Fang?
You are Fang. Stop pretending
Want a cigarette?
No thanks
I'll have one
Ok I'll smoke one
Why don't you admit you are Fang?
Who is Fang?
You
Do you have a girlfriend?
Not now
How many have you had before?
Three
Only three?
How did you break up with them?
The one in senior high...
didn't work out because we went to
different universities
The one in my freshman year...
broke up after a fight
The last one broke up last month
For what reason?
I already told you once
About being an oar
You're funny
Let me tell you
I've seen hundreds of men
Whatever your motives
don't play games with me
Who is playing games?
Not me
You look just like her
You even sound like her
Who? Fang and I?
You speak the same way
You are Fang
Don't be so juvenile
Fang and Lang. They even sound similar
What a cliche way to pick up a girl
Have you no other name...
than Lang?
Do you plan to come over to my place...
and verify who I am?
At least 7 or 8 men have had
the same idea before you
Your hand is so big. It can wrap mine
Like a glove?
That's right
Have you heard the story of gloves?
No
No?
A friend of mine told me a story...
about a girl whose mother was
a beautician for the dead
Her husband initially didn't know
When he learned about it later
he developed psychological problems
And asked her to wear
gloves all the time
You've never heard this story?
Is it a true story?
How could it be possible?
Which of the three girlfriends
was this girl?
None. What are you thinking about?
If you don't want to tell me
I'll stop asking
Why are you doing this?
What?
Doing this with men?
Doing what with men?
Drinking and chatting
What's so bad about drinking and
chatting with men?
I didn't mean that
What did you mean?
You know what I meant
It's just like playing the piano
It's my job
A relaxing way of making money
What's wrong with it?
It wouldn't be so relaxing
if you meet a bad guy
What is a bad guy?
Aren't these people
on the street bad guys?
There aren't any bad guys in this world
Only businessmen
You work at night
What do you do during the day?
You work during the day
What do you do at night?
Sleep of course
You are so cute
I'm off
Shall I escort you a while longer?
That's not necessary
Why aren't you eating?
Eat some more
Do you intellectuals only care about
spiritual stuff and not material?
That depends
Why are you looking at me like that?
Have some food
Women I used to know all loved money
I think that's fine
I feel secure when women love money
I knew you were a smart woman when
I first saw you
Don't you like smart women?
See, you are smart
There is nothing wrong with that
But it's difficult to set standards
Do you understand?
Eat something. Why aren't you eating?
We can be friends
Come to me if you need help
I'll do what I can
If you have financial problems...
You are too kind
How nice it is for men to have money
I have a friend. She's very pretty
She says men can't be too poor
A poor man is a bitter man
The poorer, the bitterer
And difficult to be with
She only befriends rich men
Filthy rich men...
who drive Mercedes and BMW
And talks of tens of millions of dollars
Much richer than you
But like you, they have standards
All successful men have standards
I don't love money that much
It's like having clothes
A piece more feels
the same as a piece less
My friend is different
She turns men's heads...
even in a pair of 20 dollar jeans
She is so beautiful
I'm the other way around
Nobody would look at me
Even if I were wearing something
worth 20,000
Hi
Am I late?
No. I'm early
I made green tea for you
Thanks
What's with you lately?
Obsessed with this place
Don't you like it here?
Other cafes are always too dim...
with sofas that feel like beds
Even a nice guy like me would have
unorthodox thoughts after a while
Let alone you
You are quite pretty
Are you trying to comfort me?
No. You are the type...
that looks ordinary initially
But becomes prettier with time
Why can't you be serious?
How can others trust you?
They admire my morality
Have some wine
What are you doing?
Give them back to me!
I want to see what you look like
without your glasses
Give them back to me
Just one look
Give them to me!
I just want to have one look
Give them to me!
I think you are prettier without glasses
I am really, really sorry
I didn't mean badly
I was just kidding around
Although we aren't
exactly childhood sweethearts
we are still friends in away, aren't we?
We've had a few cups of tea together...
and a few cups of coffee
You can tell I'm a nice guy
I am honest and kind-hearted
Anyway I am sorry
If you like
as long as it can ease off your anger
you can do whatever you want to
As long as you can stop being angry
just do whatever suits you
Can you really keep a promise?
Yes
Ok, our friendship ends here
You walk on your wide road...
and I'll cross my single-plank bridge
As if we'd never met
Ok, on one condition
What? You take the wide road...
and let me cross the single-plank bridge
I can't let a bespectacled female graduate
student take the single-plank bridge
I'll take it
Why are you such a butthead?
Yes, I can be quite shameless
Sometimes you're too much to handle
That depends on whom you compare me with
With that father of your mysterious
friend as the bottom line
there are no unbearable
men in this world
Why compare yourself to him?
He's been dead more than 10 years
How did he die?
Murdered
By whom?
Who exorcized this devil for the world?
You have no compassion
I have compassion. It depends for whom
Tell me what happened exactly?
There is no answer
It stirred up such a sensation
Wife killing husband
Everybody talked about it
This type of story always gets distorted
Some said her mom stabbed her dad 30
times with a sharp knife
Some said she chopped him with an axe
Some even claimed that her mom slit
her dad's throat in his sleep
spilling blood all over the wall
Actually when it happened
my friend was there
And saw the whole thing
She said she had a
premonition that morning
She was really scared
After her father died
she became famous in her school
People gossiped about her behind her back
A long time later
when talking about it
she said she killed her father
How old was she?
Fourteen or fifteen
Why?
Nothing
She didn't have to die for murder
She was under the legal age
Before she told me about it
her mother was sent to jail for
unintentional manslaughter
Why?
Her mother admitted in court that
she had killed him
Was there any evidence?
Does confession count as evidence?
Her father was killed in the kitchen
Her mom was cooking in the kitchen
Her dad was drunk...
and attempted to rape her mom
Her mom resisted
Her dad became angry
He knocked her mom's head on the wok
You know that kind of thick
cast-iron wok
He knocked so hard that her head broke
Blood ran all over her face
My friend was frightened
She went over in tears and
pulled her dad's legs
But she was too weak for him
He kicked her in the heart
She fell down and couldn't move
Her mom was enraged
She picked up the wok and
threw it at her dad
knocking him over
It wasn't fatal
But when her dad fell
he bumped onto a potato peeler
It slit an artery on his neck
That's how her dad died
What?
I'm telling you a story
You've taken it seriously?
What happened later?
I told you it's a story
What later?
All stories have an ending
Her mom was sentenced to 20 years...
for unintentional manslaughter
Eat together?
The story is finished. Stop following me
Have dinner with me?
I have a class tonight
You are lying
Learned how to identify truth from
fake from your girlfriend?
Let me follow you to your school
If you really have classes
I promise I won't harass you again
Can't you stop being such a butthead?
I swear I am serious
Ok. I'll tell you
I don't have classes tonight
I guessed as much
But I do have a date
A blind one?
Can you not go?
I'm almost late
I really must go. Bye bye
Wait
What do you think of me?
What do you mean?
How about me?
Would you like to be my girlfriend?
Can't you be serious?
I am serious
You are never serious
Right now I am
I'll seriously answer you: no
Why not?
What about you?
Why do you want me as your girlfriend?
I can't articulate it
But I know it in my heart
How should I put it?
Like, the way you talk
Especially when you are angry
What kind of reason is that?
Yes I often go on blind dates
I enjoy doing it
I know I'm ugly and men don't like me
But I'd rather be
rejected by other men...
than accepting your offer
What do you take me for?
An aid recipient?
I don't regard you as an aid recipient
I don't want to talk to you
Don't follow me
Why don't you want to talk to me?
What the hell! What?
Are you nuts?
I want to talk to you
My girlfriend is here
Come back tomorrow
Let me put down the beer. It's heavy
Come tomorrow
I'll sit here
I promise I won't look that way
I need to talk to you
Otherwise I'm too depressed
Are you crazy?
Get out!
Or I'll call the police
Go ahead and call the police
I'll talk to them...
and stop bothering you
You didn't drink
Why are you acting drunk?
Why don't you go downstairs?
I'll follow you down later
What's wrong with saying a few words?
I won't look your way
You can do whatever you like
Just regard me as a blind man
What's wrong? Bad mood?
I seem to understand women less and less
Girlfriend of many years...
became someone else's wife
Just when we were about to marry
There used to be
many bitter women before
Now there are more and more bitter men
I'm not bitter but full of hatred
I don't hate her
I hate myself
She had an affair right in front of me
And I didn't detect it at all
Ain't I the stupidest
idiot in the world?
You are not stupid
You just trusted her too much
All my friends
including myself
think I am a complete idiot
People think I am a hooker
We don't live our lives for others
In reality, I'm playing the role
of a psychotherapist
You are the prettiest therapist
in the world
I thought you were nice
But you are quite slick-tongued
I'm telling the truth
Did I tell you that my
ex-girlfriend was a pianist?
Really?
We went to the same university
She was studying music
She played the piano at bars
in her spare time
She made a lot of money
We bought a house together
Had it all done up
We even had our wedding photos taken
And she married someone else
Maybe you two weren't
meant for each other
That's for sure
Maybe when we leave this bar later
you'll meet the girl of
your dreams at the door
You say I'm slick-tongued
I think you are
I'm not being slick-tongued
I'm just being professional
You pay for me to talk to you
And I must make you feel good
You are so nice
Why don't you take me home?
Now the truth comes out
I didn't mean that
I don't want to do anything to you
I just don't like going home
It makes me depressed
Reminding me of many unhappy events
The way you describe your girlfriend...
makes me jealous
Is she pretty?
Not as pretty as you
Her name is Fang?
No
Fang is someone else
Your new girlfriend?
She is not my girlfriend
She is just a friend
What are you complaining about...
now that you've got a new girlfriend?
I've said she is not my girlfriend
She rejected me
She is avoiding me now
Her mobile is always off
No wonder
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Sorry, the subscriber you have
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I want to talk to you about something
Will you swap houses with me?
Are you nuts? No way!
You don't want to exchange your dump
for my 3-bedroom apartment?
I hate going home
Do you understand?
I'll keep harassing you
So what some bitch dumped you?
Must you hang yourself on that tree?
None of the trees will let me
hang myself on them
Do you want the pianist or
the graduate student?
I'm not giving you a hard time
Listen to me
Stop fancying Lang
She's the forest type...
who appears to be full of roads
But after going around a while
you find yourself in the same spot
Apart from delusions and traps
there are no roads at all
How do you know?
Don't forget I went around
the forest before you
Is there another type of women...
who appears to have no roads
But is in fact full of them?
Yes
They are called the Rome type
All roads lead to Rome
Try to concentrate
on that graduate student
An ugly wife is priceless...
as the old saying goes
She's not ugly
She becomes prettier with time
Then what are you doing here?
You asked me over
Don't come to me any more
Why not?
It's not necessary
If you are lonely
find yourself a nice girlfriend
Who said I'm lonely?
I have a girlfriend
Really?
It's that graduate student
I told you about
The story I told you...
happened to her friend's parents
She tells fortune with tealeaves
She is full of surprises
Do you think I like her?
Judging by the way you act
I can tell you like her a lot
I don't deny it
You two are different
How so?
She is the type...
that makes one feel close to
You are the type that...
Knocks one over
Yes you knock men over
Do you think you are like a pill?
Or a..
Baseball bat
Do you have a boyfriend?
Several hundred
I mean...
Don't be silly
No boyfriend? Oh well...
Dream on!
Then you do have a boyfriend
Let's just say I do
Actually my dad was also a loser
He wrote a play when he was young
During the Cultural Revolution
And became famous overnight
A young and amorous talent
He had a lot of fans
Although not as crazy as today's fans
My mom was very pretty
Dad picked her amongst
several hundred girls
All his life
he only wrote that one script
And was glamorous for only a few months
Marrying him didn't bring my mother...
any happiness
But lots of pain
She says to me...
she's a walnut
Before marrying she was juicy...
and lovely
Marriage turned her into a tough nut
Dark and jabbing
Later, when the shell was cracked
and the kernel exposed
her life became better
You are the walnut kernel
That's right
What does your mom do?
She runs a glove factory
Glove factory?
Gloves again!
Hello?
It's you!
This is Chen. This is Chen
I know
I can tell
I was really worried these days
Where have you been?
Why is your phone always off?
Why don't you answer my calls?
Conference? What conference?
Can't I call you without any reason?
Ok...
You are tired
Rest for now
I'm happy to know your phone is on
And I can find you
Ok. All right
I'll call you tomorrow
Ok?
See you tomorrow
Ok. Goodbye
Can you help me analyze myself?
Why do I always think of you?
Stop it
What?
Stop making fun of me
How am I making fun of you?
Do you know what's missing in you?
What?
Femininity
A really feminine woman...
would have been flattered by what I said
But you are so stiff
Stiff?
You think I'm a corpse?
Would I regard you as a corpse?
You've studied too much...
without thorough comprehension
Where you should be sensitive
you're not;
and where you shouldn't be
you're too sensitive
What's it to you?
I care about you
I'm worried you might be conned
I went on a date during
the conference in Hangzhou...
with a postdoc, a critic
Fie!
What?
A blind date in Hangzhou?
What's wrong?
Can you stop embarrassing yourself?
You go on one blind date after another
And get despised over and over
If it doesn't hurt your self-respect
it hurts mine
Can't you change your strategy?
Don't you know...
There is a rainbow in front of you
And you needn't
run through thunderstorms
You really like me?
It sounds corny
But when you were away
I really missed you
Other men despise me
why not you?
I'm not other men
I can see what others can't see
Stop going on blind dates
It's so chaotic out there
What if you meet some bad guys?
You're not as tough as other women
You look like a bad guy
How do you know I'm not tough?
Judging by what you just said
Don't you know...
tough women don't talk like you
The tougher they are
the softer they speak
I didn't know you were
so experienced in this respect
It's not experience
It's perception
How is your friend's
mom doing in prison?
She was released two years ago
Oh yeah?
But she went back in after a while
Why?
I'm not quite sure
Where did she go back?
Back in jail?
I think so
Why? Because she likes it so much?
She couldn't get used
to the outside world
Will you let me meet your friend?
I won't
Why not?
I'm afraid you'll fall in love with her
Can you not turn your mobile off?
Just a moment
Nothing much
Don't hang up. I'm not finished
Shall we have dinner together tonight?
With some of my friends
Can't you make an exception?
I've already promised them
Just do me a favor
Come over
I'm begging you please
Just pretend I'm a strange man
And it's a blind date
Hello? I can't hear you
I can't hear her
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Hit
What do you want?
You know Where are we going?
I'm having dinner with some friends
But I can't find my girlfriend
Why don't you come in her place?
Where is that graduate student?
If I could find her, I wouldn't...
No, I wouldn't take her even if
I could find her
I'm begging you to do me a favor
I don't look like a graduate student
You do, except for this dress
I don't have anything else
Let's go and buy you something
Ok
Which way? This way or this way?
This way
Let's go
Gosh! Is it true?
On the beach, whack! Head split open
This is Fang
Fang Hello! Impossible!
Come and have a seat
Fang has a master's degree
Beautiful and talented
Are you envious or jealous?
Look at my boyfriend
He's salivating
What are you talking about?
I'm telling the truth
Forgive him
He's been a loser since childhood
Let's drink a toast
For Chen and his charming girlfriend
Bottoms up Jun
When did you learn
to use such superlatives?
When I see a beauty
Every man becomes eloquent
in the presence of a beauty
What beauty? She's just ordinary
Only number 3 in the country
You are so ungrateful
You are quite talkative tonight
So are you
Oh so I'm wrong
I'm sorry my darling
You can tell fortune with tealeaves
right?
Would you like to show them how?
Who says I can tell fortune?
I can only tell something about love
That's great!
How do you do it? How do you do it?
Don't mess up your tealeaves
By just looking
at the leaves in your teacup
she can tell your fate
I'm first. Lady first
Gosh you're anxious
You really want to know? Yes
Are you paying?
Anything
You are a smart woman
Quite manipulative
True
You know how to play cards with men
And have them do
what you want them to do
But you are too anxious and impatient
You can conquer men quickly
But in turn show your flaws too soon
In fact, you look tough but
are actually quite weak
You trick men into loving you
But eventually they'd come to resent you
Normal men don't like you
They'd try to get rid of you quickly
In general, it should be said...
that you can make men fall in love
with you at first sight
That's true
But you can't keep a
long-term relationship
It's hard for you to
obtain everlasting love
Sounds like I should
marry myself off soon
Yes, yes It's useless
It won't change your fate
What is fate?
These dumb tealeaves?
Sometimes, fate is just a few tealeaves
Why did you pinch me?
I didn't
Didn't you ask me to do this?
Right
I was just kidding
Don't take it seriously
I won't
That's great
Let me toast to everyone
It was just a joke
But she is good
Chen, have another one
Stop drinking
Come, bottoms up
I've hit my limit
Yes or no?
Yes or no?
All right, last one
There is no wine left
Waitress, open another bottle
Are you nuts? You are nuts!
Didn't we come out to drink?
Don't overdo it
Who's overdoing it?
Open them all
I'll pay if he won't
Please stop this nonsense
I'll drink with you
But I won't drink with you
I just want to drink with Chen
What's for!
Come, Chen, cheers
I can't
Another one
I'm about to throw up Stop it!
Are you up for it?
You are not a man if you don't drink it
Ok I'm not a man
So, after all
You are not a man
Since you are not a man
1 will drink up for you
Stop drinking
Fill it up
Why must you mess it all up?
Don't yell at me!
I hate it when a man yells at me
Stop it! I'll stop yelling
And you'll sit here quietly
How am I not quiet?
Why am I drinking like this?
Isn't it all for you?
I know you like Chen's girlfriend!
I'll help you
I'll get Chen drunk so
you'll get a chance
Jun!
I hate it when a man hits a woman
Why did you hit my boyfriend?
I'll kill you!
Hi
May we have a room?
What type of room?
Can you help me analyze myself?
Why do I always think of you?
Stop it! What?
Stop making fun of me
How am I making fun of you?
Do you know what's missing in you?
What?
Femininity
A really feminine woman...
would have been flattered by what I said
But when you were away
I really missed you
Other men despise me
why not you?
I'm not other men
You've studied too much...
without thorough comprehension
Where you should be sensitive
you're not;
and where you shouldn't be
you're too sensitive
I didn't know you were so
experienced in this respect
You go on one blind date after another
And get despised over and over
If it doesn't hurt your self-respect
it hurts mine!
Can't you change your strategy?
Don't you know...
there is a rainbow in front of you
And you needn't
run through thunderstorms
You really like me?