Ghoul School (1990) - full transcript

(wolf howling)

(dramatic music)

(thunder crashing)

(dramatic music)

(birds chirping)

(janitor grunting)

(dramatic music)

(janitor grunting)

(janitor snorting)

(janitor grunting)

(cot thuds)
(janitor grunts)



(birds chirping)

- Hey, Jeff, what's up?

- Hi, Steve.

Bogglins.

- Hey little faggots,

what is this, some sort
of girly slumber party?

- What's up, Sculley?

- [Sculley] Fuck you too.

- [Steve] Did you find a job?

- Yeah, me and your fuckin' mom

are washing windshields
on the turnpike.

- Funny.

- Hey, what'd you fuckin'
eat my Droogies for?

- They're my Droogies!



- Oh, yeah, they're
your Droogies?

- [Jeff] Yeah.

- Well, here you go.

Enjoy your fuckin'
Droogies, man.

- Why are you such an asshole?

- Because I like to take
after you (chuckles).

- Don't quit your day job.

- Why don't you faggots get
on your way out to school,

and go learn the golden rule.

- I'm not a faggot!

- You are too a faggot.

You've always been a faggot
and you'll always be a faggot.

- Shut the fuck up!

Drink up and let's
get outta here.

- Yeah, why don't you
get outta here, man.

- Let's go, Steve.

- Oh, I'm really fuckin'
hurt by your actions, look.

- [Steve] Have fun.

- I feel like I just
made out with you.

Mom?

You bitch!

(birds chirping)

(students chattering)

- This is Principal
Kaplan speaking.

I have a few announcements to
make before you leave today,

and I want everyone to
pay close attention.

I mean it now.

These are important
announcements, you know.

All right now, I'm sure you
all wanna hear the results

of last week's Battle
of the Bands contest

to decide which
group will preform

this Saturday night
at the school dance.

Though I question your taste
in music, it's your decision.

So, the winner is
Blood Sucking Ghouls.

Blood Sucking Ghouls?

They will be performing at
the dance tomorrow night.

It will begin at 7:30,

and everyone is
encouraged to attend,

and no drinking, I'll be there!

If I catch anyone drinking
or smoking any pots,

they will be
expelled on the spot.

So, everyone better be
on their best behavior.

(clears throat)

Now that we're on the
topic of good behavior.

(light rock music)

Now, there will be
basketball practice

in the gym this afternoon.

- Jesus, when is
this fuckin' jerk off

gonna shut up already?

I always hated the shithead.

- Relax, it'll be
a few minutes tops.

We'll slip in when the little
pukes start coming out.

- The little bastards,
I'd like to kill them all.

- I'll keep the gun for now.

We don't need to attract
any fuckin' attention.

You're sure the shit's
in there, right?

- Yeah, yeah, I'm sure.

I mean, unless that fuckin'
shithead janitor's moved it.

It should be in
the wall somewhere.

- Cool, how come you never
graduated this shit hole?

- Fuckin' jerk off principal

that's jerkin' us off
over the loudspeaker,

he screwed me over.

I'd like to rip his
fuckin' face off.

- Fuck him, after we
take down the janitor,

you'll have enough money
to buy the fuckin' diploma.

- (chuckles) Yeah, it'll be
easy to steal as this bike, huh?

- I think we could all
learn a valuable lesson

from Mr. Franklin's
own life experiences.

That's all I have for today.

Well, that went well.

- I think they got the point.

- I hope so.

- I wouldn't worry about it.

- All right, I'll
be in my office.

(hard rock music)

♪ We're the people
of rock and roll ♪

♪ Where are you

♪ We're the people
of rock and roll ♪

♪ Where are you

♪ We're the people
of rock and roll ♪

♪ Where I am

♪ Where I am

♪ Where I am

♪ I am, I am, I am

♪ Where are you

♪ Where are you

(bell ringing)

(lively synthesizer music)

- Let's go.

- Yeah, lets.

(lively synthesizer music)

- [Secretary] Mr. Franklin's
office, who's calling?

Hold on a minute.

Principal Kaplan.

- Oh, very good.

How are you?

Joe Franklin speaking.

- Hello, Joe, Bob Kaplan here.

Listen, I just
wanted to thank you

for speaking at the school
assembly this morning.

- Ah, don't mention it.

It was my pleasure, Bob.

They were great kids.

Beautiful kids,
every one of them.

Great, great kids.

Ah, God bless them all.

They are such nice
people, I mean it.

Listen, Bob, but more important,

when are we gonna
get together now,

and work out the
details for the next uh,

for the next appearance,
for the next speech?

- How about Monday?

- Ah, no, Monday's
not a good day for me,

because uh, no Monday I've
gotta uh, well, I've got lunch.

I've got an appointment
with Zsa Zsa, yeah, I can't.

I don't wanna
disappoint Zsa Zsa.

I can't make it Monday.

- Well, how about
uh, this weekend?

- Well, my only problem,
not, not that it's a problem,

but I gotta go to the
Club Med on Saturday.

Yeah, I promised,

and I'm flying to Vegas
on, uh, the next day to uh,

catch Wayne Newton's act.

Yeah, I'm, I'm, I'm considering

putting Wayne Newton
on my show, yeah,

but we'll work it out.

We'll, we'll, you know, it's a,

it's a crowded weekend for me,

but I'll, I'll work it
out, I promise you, yeah.

- [Jackie] Excuse me.

(knocking on door)

Joe, Joe?

- Oh, oh, listen, I'm uh,
I'm, I'm being approached.

I'm being, I'm being attacked.

Bob, I'll talk to
you later, Bob.

I'm sorry, okay bye, Bob.

- [Jackie] Hi, hi,
Joe, Joe Franklin?

- [Joe] Yeah.

- [Jackie] Jackie Martling,
Jackie The Joke Man.

- [Joe] Oh, yeah?

- I wanna be on your show.

I have great jokes and not
too dirty, not too dirty.

I mean I have a reputation.

I tell dirty jokes.

- I, I, I've heard that
reputation, yeah, yeah.

- Did ya, I, I work
all over the place.

I have a joke line,
9-2-2-y-5-1-6, you've called it.

- Many times.

- The jokes aren't too dirty.

Well, they're a little dirty,

but they don't have
dirty words in them.

A little girl walks
out of the bathroom...

- Have you, have you seen
my show through the years?

- Oh yeah, I watch
it every night.

Is it still on?

- Yeah, I was on last
night, I was on last night.

- No, listen, I'm kidding.

Of course I watch it,

and I have jokes that are good

without the four letter words.

- There are such things?

- Yeah, a girl walks
out of the bathroom.

Her mother's making a cake.

She says, Mommy,
can I lick the bowl?

And her mother says,

why don't you just flush it
like everybody else (laughing).

You know when you know
you're really lonely?

- When?

- You're own tongue starts
to feel good in your mouth.

(both laugh)

- That's good, that's the
kind of a joke, no wait.

- Well, that's not dirty,
there's no four letter...

- That's the kind
of a joke, Jackie,

that can not only close
theaters, it'll close cities.

- (laughs) Wait,
uh, what's that?

- I'm only kidding, I give up.

- That's a dead Italian,

because if he was alive, he'd
be going like that (laughs).

Ask me how fat she was.

- How fat she was?

- No, say, how fat was she?

- How fat was she?

- She was so fat that when
she forgot her diaphragm,

they used a hubcap.

- That is good, right, right.

- A guy's in bed with a girl,

he says, you're flat
and you're tight.

She says, get off
my back (laughs).

- You think that's good
for a family type show.

I think so, right?

- I think it could work.

- I think it is.

- A couple's in the living room,

he says, you're dry tonight.

She says, you're licking
the rug (laughs).

What do you say to a girl
with no arms and no legs?

- I give up.

- Nice tits.

I've been a fan of
yours ever since I heard

that I was auditioning
for you (laughs).

- A week from Saturday
we definitely tape.

You're on the panel
with a couple of kids

named Milton Berle and
Henny Youngman, all right?

We'll do the changing face
of comedy, how's that?

- They're gonna steal my jokes.

How are a woman's breasts
like electric train sets?

- I give up.

- They're originally
intended for the kids,

but Pop always ends
up playing with them.

What do a bleach blond
and a 747 have in common?

- Uh.

- They both got a
black box (laughs).

I'm pretty good, pretty good.

Did you hear about the
guy who couldn't come?

We had to go get him (laughs).

- Listen, speaking,
speaking about coming,

I wanna thank you...

- You know how.

- I wanna thank you for coming.

- Just, just one more.

- All right.

- You know your boss
is like a diaper?

- How?

- He's always on your ass,

and he's usually full
of shit (laughs).

- Listen, all right,
one more, one more,

then I'll uh, then I'll
give you my, my uh,

informed appraisal, my
educated assessment.

- They'd be going nuts.

I can hear 'em,
listen, I can hear 'em.

- Listen, Jackie, Jackie,

I wanna, I wanna
tell you something.

I wanna tell you something.

That your future is secure.

- Yeah?

- Yes, but don't
quit your day job.

- I got a few more here.

- You will go overnight from
obscurity to total oblivion.

- Where.

- One, one more.

- Where would you find
a turtle with no legs?

- I give up.

- Right where you
left him (laughs).

- (chuckles) Have a good,
have a good evening.

- It's because he couldn't get,

because he couldn't
get anywhere.

- You are the greatest,
you're the greatest.

- You know why you should
never drink diet soda

while you're having oral sex?

- Why?

- Because then you
have two aftertastes

you gotta get rid of (laughs).

- [Joe] Have fun, have fun.

- Joe, I've got
millions of these.

I'll call you with some more
if you want me to call you.

- Promise, please.

- [Jackie] I can call you back,

because I know I've got
lots of great stuff here.

I wanna do you show.

- [Secretary] Carol Nestling.

- Hello?

- [Janitor] No, no,
what're you doing?

(screams) Help me!

(gun firing)

- Yell all you want!

No one's gonna
hear you down here!

Now, tell me where it
is while you still can!

- Yeah, tell him where it is

before we blow your
fuckin' brains out

- Fuck you!

- Fuck this, are
you sure it's here?

- Yeah, yeah, I'm sure.

It's in the wall somewhere.

He's had that here for
years, the bastard.

- Watch him, I'll
find it myself!

(janitor screams)

- You find it?

- I can't see a fuckin' thing.

Wait a minute.

(janitor screams)

- Where the fuck is it?

(gun firing)

(suspenseful music)

I can't see a fuckin' thing.

- Cool out.

What the fuck?

- What is this place?

- Beats the shit outta me.

- Hey, what do these do?

- No!

(suspenseful music)

Shit.

(suspenseful music)

(thugs choking and coughing)

(suspenseful music)

(hard rock music)

- Come on, man, do you
got the tape or not?

- Relax, I got it.

Crazy Tommy told me
it was awesome too.

- Now, all you have to do
is find the God damn thing.

- So, is your old man

getting you a gun for
your birthday or what?

- I don't know.

Shit, he must be.

We've been going
to the firing range

every weekend for
two months now.

I'm getting pretty good.

What the fuck, man, where is it?

- It's movie time.

- Cool, let's go
up to the AV room.

I wanna see some good gore.

- The AV room?

Are you sure?

We could get busted.

If Kaplan catches us.

- That old bastard
won't catch us.

Don't worry about it.

Besides, have I ever
gotten us busted?

- [Jeff] No.

- Bolt.

- Okay, but I hope we
don't get in trouble.

- Trust me.

- I love you.

- [Mike] Yeah, me too, babe.

- Do you want your
history notebook?

- [Mike] No, I don't need it.

- What're we gonna do tonight?

- Well, I thought we'd
go over Danny's later.

- [Mary] Danny's again?

- Yeah.

- Well, I thought we'd spend
some time alone tonight,

and not go out with the guys.

- We are gonna spend
some time alone together.

- When?

- Right now.

- Oh, Mike, not here.

- Come on.

(boy whistling)

(suspenseful music)

(thugs coughing and groaning)

- What the fuck happened?

- I don't know.

You pressed the fuckin' button.

- I don't feel so good.

I gotta go to the hospital.

- What the fuck are we
gonna tell them, huh?

Let's get the fuck outta
here before the cops come.

- He's getting his
time down real good.

- He certainly is.

We should do really
well tonight.

- Well, we're going to
do better than just well.

We're gonna kick their butts.

- (laughs) You better not let
them hear you talk like that.

They might actually
think we're human.

(swim coaches laughing)

(swim team growling)

- Oh, my God!

- I think they're putting

a little bit too much
chlorine in the pool.

(suspenseful music)

(swim coaches screaming)

- Let me up, no!

(female coach screaming)

(suspenseful music)

(male coach screaming)

(suspenseful music)

(female coach screaming)

(suspenseful music)

(Blade screaming)

(hard rock music)

- [Blade] One,
two, three, hit it!

(hard rock music)

(audience cheering
and applauding)

- Yeah!

That was
fan-fuckin'-tastic, man.

We're gonna play our fuckin'
brains out tomorrow night.

- Fuckin' aright, man.

Listen, we'll take a break.

We'll come back and practice
to close the set, okay?

- What's wrong with Roxanne?

- Nothing, everything's good.

It's cool, really, really.

(light piano music)

What the fuck is wrong with you?

- What the fuck
are we doin' here?

- What do you mean?

- This place,
that's what I mean.

- It's a great gig.

The kids will love us.

- I thought all the hard work

was so that we could
play bigger places,

not fuckin' high schools.

- Listen Rox, I've been
doin' this for awhile,

and these so-called
fuckin' high schools

is where it all starts.

Besides, these kids,
if they really like us,

and really get into our music,

we'll have the whole
graduating class

full of Blood Sucking Ghoul
fans in just a few months.

- Well, I hope so,

because we're definitely not
making any money on this deal.

- Don't worry about it, Roxanne.

- Listen, Blade,
you know I think

you're the best God damn
lead singer in New York,

but we've gotta make a change.

- What kind of change?

- I think I should
start managing the band.

Don't give me that look.

We've talked about this before,

and you know it's
the best thing.

You have a big heart,

but you don't have
a head for business

and strategy and I do.

- Yeah, and what're
the guys gonna think

when I tell them all this?

- They'll be thanking
you when you start

playing big clubs and
get a record contract.

- Oh, and you think
you can do all that?

- Yeah, I think I can.

I'm pretty tough
when I have to be.

- Let me think about it, and
I'll tell you in the morning.

- Okay, you fucker, think hard.

- Don't get me started,
don't get me started.

Hold that thought though.

Everybody up, let's go,
let's practice the next set.

(light piano music)

- [Jeff] That's
fuckin' beautiful!

- [Steve] This is great!

- I told you crazy Tony
really knows his gore.

- [Steve] How did he get this?

It's not even out yet.

- It's a bootleg.

- [Steve] I gotta get a copy.

- [Both] Oh, shit!

- Look at that.

I didn't know that was
physically possible.

- They're dead remember?

(zombies groaning)

- Did you hear something?

- What?

- Nothing, I guess.

(hard rock music)

(whistle blowing)

- Okay, listen up.

Before we get started
with the layup drills,

I have something to
say to you girls.

Your performance Monday night

against Aquinas
High was pathetic.

You should've
kicked their butts.

You're better than they are.

We are never gonna
make to the states

playing the way
we did on Monday.

To tell you the truth,

I almost wish I was home
watching the Giants game.

- We wish you were
home too, Coach.

- Now, I wanna see one
hell of a practice today,

and we're gonna go an extra hour

just to make sure we're
ready for Pope John.

You're all gonna have to start

working a lot
harder around here,

if you wanna keep
chalking up the wins

and impressing the babes.

- Yo, Coach.

- What, Stewart?

- Don't you think it's
gonna be a little hard

with only five
players on the team?

- Yeah, we gotta play
the whole game now.

- Those other guys didn't
wanna listen to me.

I'm in charge here.

You five will just
have to suck it up.

Okay, let's get to it.

Come on, O'Rawe, move your ass.

(hard rock music)

- I'm leaving now, Lois.

Have a nice weekend.

- Oh, wait, I'll
walk out with you.

I'm done anyway.

- Okay, I'll tell
Kaplan we're leaving.

- Okay.

- I finished the last
of the alumni letters.

- [Kaplan] Oh, good.

- Lois and I are leaving now.

- Drive safely, I'll
see you tomorrow night.

Oh, how is the work on the
set for the play coming along?

- Good, they're working
on the sets backstage

in the auditorium everyday.

Except tonight and
tomorrow, of course,

because of the dance.

- Well, hopefully it
won't get to rowdy.

- Well, let's hope for the best.

Goodnight now, sir.

- Goodnight, Miss Owen.

Blood Sucking Ghouls.

Whatever happened to
romance and slow dancing?

Now all they wanna do is
grunt, groan, and slam dance.

- Don't worry, I'm coming.

- Relax, I'm in no
hurry to get home.

- Thank God it's Friday.

- Are you kidding?

Now I have to spend the
next 48 hours with my kids.

(Miss Owen laughing)

(hard rock music)

That's the band for
tomorrow night's dance.

- I know, they sound good.

- You like that stuff, huh?

- Sure, you mean you don't
like rock and roll, Lois?

- I like rock and
roll all right,

but that's a little
bit too loud for me.

- [Miss Owen] Well,
I think I'm gonna go

check it out for
a little awhile.

- Not me, I have to get
home and make dinner,

and see what my little
darlings have destroyed today.

- Sounds like fun.

- It's more like
Nightmare on Elm Street.

- Well, I'll see
you on Monday then.

- Yeah, have a good weekend.

- Thanks, you too.

- Bye.

- I gotta take a leak.

Pause the movie
until I get back.

- Hurry up.

- Relax, I'll just
be a few minutes.

(girl grunting and gurgling)

Oh, shit!

(suspenseful music)

(girl growling)

- (sighs) Where the hell is he?

Screw this, I'm watching it.

I'll tell him what he missed.

(boy growling)

(suspenseful music)

Shit, he's missing
the best part.

(swimmers growling)

God damn it, Jeff.

This really pisses me off.

What the hell?

What the fuck is going on?

- They're coming.

- Who's coming.

- The swim team.

- So, what do they
want with you?

- I think they wanna eat me.

- (chuckles) Funny.

- I'm serious, these
monsters attacked me.

One was eating a leg.

- A leg?

- Yeah, I think
it was Miss Lloyd.

- Bullshit.

(suspenseful music)

(swim team growling)

Holy shit.

- That's them.

- The swim team?

- I think they're putting too
much chlorine in the pool.

- Come on!

(swim team growling)

(mysterious music)

- [Woman] Die copper.

(ghoul grunting and growling)
(electricity crackling)

(suspenseful music)

(Jeff grunts)

- Wait a minute.

It's time for a fire drill.

(girl growling)

(fire extinguisher thuds)

(girl screaming)

- This is serious.

- No shit.

- Isn't that Mary Beth Allen?

- Yup.

- This kind of shit just
doesn't happen around here.

- This kind of shit
doesn't happen anywhere.

- What're we gonna do?

- We get help fast.

First I wanna check
out the pool, come on.

(hard rock music)

(moves into dramatic music)

- I think the swim team
is gonna forfeit tonight.

- This is one very
fucked up nightmare.

- What're we gonna do now?

- We get help fast.

- Okay.

(ball thudding)

- Go get it, O'Rawe.

- Me, Heidinger threw it.

- I don't wanna hear it.

Just use the other one for now.

Come on, O'Rawe, go get it.

(ball thudding)

- Oh, man, I can't
see shit in here.

(ball thudding)

- Where the hell is that kid?

O'Rawe, get over here.

Heidinger, get that ball.

- Oh, Bob, uh, this is Joe.

I'll tell ya, Bob, I don't
uh, I don't feel so good.

That's why I called ya.

I want ya to know I don't
feel so hot right now.

What, what, what might've
been in that water?

- Just water, Joe.

We bottled it ourselves.

There's a natural spring
in the boiler room.

- Bob, it occurs to me,

I ran into these two kids
named Steve and Jeff,

yeah, Steve and Jeff.

Do you think they might've
put something into that water?

I'm a little bit uh,
curious about that, yeah.

- Those two guys,
Steve and Jeff,

they've been a pain
in my ass all year.

- Well, you could
really maybe do me

one very definite,
specific favor,

and check out what
was in that water,

because I'll tell ya a
funny thing, I feel funny.

Yeah, Bob, do check it out
for me, very important.

- Okay, take care, bye Joe.

- Uh, I'm feeling very, very
peculiar, very, very something.

- Mr. Kaplan, sir, we
gotta call the police.

- Yeah, and I'd cancel the
swim meet if I was you.

- Just hold it right there.

Who do you think you
are barging in here

without knocking like that?

You just bought yourself
a couple of detentions.

- You don't understand, sir.

We've got a real horror
story on our hands.

- [Kaplan] A horror story?

- That's right, sir.

Mary Beth Allen ate
Miss Lloyd's leg,

and we had to stick
an ax in her chest.

- What the hell are
you talking about?

Are you on drugs, son?

- Listen to me.

There are these
things in the school

killing people and eating them.

- And just what
are these things?

- The swim team.

- The swim team?

- Yeah, the swim team.

- Get out of my
office right now.

- We're not fuckin'
around here, God damn it.

We need to get help.

We gotta call the cops.

- Are you totally insane?

You barging in my office
telling me some crazy stories

about things eating people,

and you expect to use my phone?

- It's an emergency.

- Emergency, your grade point
averages are an emergency,

you two horror freaks.

The whole horror world
should be heavily censored.

It's brainwashing
you into making up

and believing these
incredible stories.

If you gore fanatics thought

like the majority
of normal people,

there would be a lot less
problems in this world today.

- Screw this.

- [Kaplan] Put that phone
down right now, young man.

- It's dead.

- You're both
suspended as of now.

- Suspended?

- [Kaplan] Now get out of here

before I decide
to expel you both.

- Expelled?

- You can't expel us, we quit.

- Come on, let's get outta here.

- I'll expect you
both in my office

first thing Monday morning.

- Asshole.

- Hey, I gotta get the tape.

- Are you nuts?

We gotta get outta
here and get help.

Those things will kill ya.

- Crazy Tommy will kill me if
I don't bring that tape back.

- Fuck it, okay, but after
that we're getting outta here.

What the fuck happened here?

- Oh, God, we're
dead now for sure.

- Oh, shit.

- Who would do that?

- It doesn't matter.

We'll get blamed for it anyway.

- It was the fuckin'
swim team I bet.

- Really, there are
swimmers out there

eating people's fuckin' flesh.

You really think anybody's
gonna give a shit

about a God damn TV?

- No, I guess not.

- Okay then, hurry
up and get the tape,

and turn the other one off.

- It's stuck.

- Forget it, let's bolt.

(light guitar music)

(swim team growling)

(Mary screaming)

(suspenseful music)

- Jesus Christ!

(suspenseful music)

Oh, my God!

- It's too late, he's fucked.

We can't help him.

It'll only get us killed too.

Come on, let's get
the fuck outta here.

(suspenseful music)

- Wait a minute.

- What?

- We can't leave yet.

- Are you fuckin' crazy?

We're outta here.

- Those things are
still in there.

- So, let's go get some help.

- By the time it gets back
here, they're be dead.

We have to warn them.

We have to get them out.

- Who, get who out?

I hope you don't mean Kaplan.

- No, not him, the
band, man, the band.

- The band, shit.

Okay, we'll go back.

They're in the
auditorium, right?

- Yeah.

- Oh man, I got a bad
feeling about this.

- Watch how it's done, homo.

- Yeah, your momma
shows me how it's done.

- I'm gonna kick your
ass, mother fucker.

- Your mother kicks my
ass every Saturday night.

- [Coach] Just
shoot it, Heidinger.

- Go get it, O'Rawe.

- Me?

- And I don't wanna
see any more of this

throwing the basketball
around the gym shit either.

Let's get back to it.

(ball thudding)

The kid is giving me a headache.

(suspenseful music)

(ball thuds)

(suspenseful music)

- Coach, take a look at this.

(ghoul growling)

- Coach, over there too.

(suspenseful music)

- Jesus Christ,
who are these guys?

- What now, Coach?

(ghouls growling)

♪ Always falling outta bed

♪ Turn on the TV set

(ghoul growling)

♪ Gonna get my gun

♪ Violence

♪ This is violence

♪ This is violence

♪ This is violence

- Hey!

Where the hell are
you guys going?

Where's the rest of the team?

- Get lost, punk.

- They're all dead.

It was horrible.

These monsters, they
killed Heidinger.

Ripped O'Rawe's head off.

They killed everybody.

What are they?

- The swim team.

- [Coach] What?

- The fuckin' swim team.

Somehow they changed into
these things, these ghouls,

and they're eating people.

- What a minute.

Those guys that attacked
us were no swimmers.

- Jesus, it's spreading.

- Who cares, let's get
the hell outta here now.

- No, we gotta get
the band first.

- The band?

- The Blood Sucking Ghouls.

They're in the auditorium.

- They're a bunch
of freaks, come on.

Are you guys crazy?

Those things aren't human.

We can't fight them.

- We're not gonna fight,
not if we can avoid it.

- You don't know what you're
getting into here, I do.

I'm older than you.

I'm a teacher.

- You're also a dick.

- Better watch your mouth, son,

or you'll get a
detention on Monday.

- Detention on Monday?

You're worse than Kaplan.

I got news for you dick.

The forecast for tomorrow
doesn't look good,

let alone Monday.

- You little punk.

- Back off, dick.

- (chuckles) Dick (laughing).

- I think Craven's
brain has flown

to loony world for the night.

What do you think, dick?

- God damn it, stop
calling me Dick.

- Listen, we're going
to the auditorium.

You can come if you want.

(Craven laughing)

Help him up.

(Craven laughing)

- Wait, I'm coming.

You mister are back on JV.

- Let's go.

(Craven laughing)

(hard rock music)

- Hi, guys.

(hard rock music)

Where's the bathroom?

- Who are you?

- Crystal, I'm with the band.

- You're a Blood Sucking Ghoul.

- [Crystal] Well, a
Ghoulette actually.

- Is the rest of the
band in the auditorium?

- Yeah.

- You're coming with us.

- Oh no, I've got a boyfriend.

- We're trying to save
you, not fuck you.

- Oh.

Wait a minute.

Where's the bathroom?

I really gotta go.

- Hold it.

- [Crystal] Well, hurry up.

(suspenseful music)

- God damn kids.

(ghoul growling)

(hard rock music)

(Crystal screaming)
(ghouls growling)

♪ I'm always falling outta bed

♪ Turn on the TV set

(Crystal screaming)

(ghouls growling)

(Crystal screaming)

- [Jeff] Oh, God!

- Why are they doing this?

- Oh, shit, they're coming!

(ghouls growling)

(Crystal screaming)

♪ This is violence

♪ This is violence

♪ This is violence

♪ This is violence

- What the fuck is this?

- The dance committee, man.

(ghouls grunting and growling)

- Help us!

- I don't think it was
the dance committee, man.

- Help him!

(ghouls grunting and growling)

- What's your name?

- Steve.

- Can I ask you a question?

- [Steve] What?

- What the fuck is going on,

and who the hell is out there?

- The swim team.

Just push, we can't
hold them much longer.

- Oh shit, what're we gonna do?

- We'll be back.

- Wait a minute.

(ghouls growling)

(Crystal gasping)

- [Roxanne] What the
fuck is going on?

- I don't know.

(suspenseful music)

- Grab those.

Come on.

(ghouls grunting and growling)

- [Vicki] Come on, hurry up.

- [Roxanne] Fuck this.

- [Vicki] Roxy, wait!

- What's she doing?

- Taking charge.

- Oh, this is a great gig.

The kids are gonna love us.

- That oughta hold
them for awhile.

- Hey, what the fuck is
going on here anyway?

- I wish I knew.

- You mean you guys don't know?

- [Steve] All we know is that
they kill you and eat you.

- And they're real pissed.

- The whole fuckin' swim team?

- [Jeff] We think so.

- Maybe they should
check the chlorine.

- [Steve] It's not
the fuckin' chlorine!

- It doesn't make any
difference what the hell it is.

We've gotta figure
a way out of here.

- Just call the cops, man.

- We tried but the
phones are dead.

- If you would all
just listen to me.

You can't just...

- Shut up, dick.

- Yeah, shut up, dick.

- My name's not Dick.

- She's right, we gotta find
another way outta here fast.

- No kidding me, but how?

- I don't know, but
we better work fast.

These boards aren't
gonna hold forever.

(ghouls grunting and growling)

(crickets chirping)

- I don't like this.

We got more important
places to check out.

Things are getting crazy.

- Relax, there's probably
none here anyway.

Come on, let's get
this over with.

- What's the rush?

I mean, maybe we
should call the backup.

- Forget about it.

They got calls all over
the city, it's crazy.

We're not getting any help.

(ghouls grunting and growling)

(suspenseful music)

- Did you hear that?

- Yeah, I heard it.

We have to check it out.

(police radio chatter)

- What do you think?

- Looks quiet, wait a minute.

- What the hell is that?

- I don't know, I can't see it.

(Ghouls grunting and growling)

♪ This is violence

♪ This is violence

♪ This is violence

- What do you think?

- [Jeff] It's kinda dark,

but I think someone
can get through.

- [Steve] Are you sure?

- Yeah, but I wouldn't
wanna be in it

if one of those
things got in there.

- [Steve] Come on down.

The only problem is where
does this thing lead to?

- Yeah, and who's gonna go?

- [Roxanne] That's
not a problem.

- What're you talking about?

- I'm going.

- So, who's going?

- I am.

- [Jeff] Really?

- No, she's not.

- Why not?

- [Blade] Because.

- Well, that's a good reason.

- You don't have to go.

One of us will.

- Yeah, it can get
real hairy in there.

- Cut the bullshit.

You guys don't want me to
go because I'm a woman?

Well, fuck that shit.

I'm the only choice.

We need you here to
take on those ghouls

in case they break through,

and I don't think Vicki
and Crystal are up to it.

Besides, I'm almost
outta cigarettes.

- Those things are
gonna kill ya, Rox.

- Yeah, I'm gonna give
them up one of these days,

maybe tomorrow.

- [Steve] If she's going,
she better get moving.

We're running out of time.

- [Blade] Yeah, right.

Okay, I guess you're it then.

- [Roxanne] Don't
worry, I'm coming back.

I'm managing the band, remember?

- [Blade] How could I forget it?

- [Steve] Here, you
better take this.

- Keep it, if I don't make
it, you'll need it here.

- You better take this though.

- Thanks, I have two of my own.

(light rock music)

I'll see you later.

- [Blade] Most definitely.

- [Jeff] Good luck.

- You too.

(light rock music)

I gotta give up smoking.

It's gonna kill me.

(light rock music)

- [Steve] You okay?

- What, yeah, yeah, I'm okay.

(ghouls grunting and growling)

- Let's make sure those doors
are still holding tight.

- Yeah.

(ghouls grunting and growling)

- [Steve] Still at it, huh?

- Yeah, man.

- Where's Vicki and Crystal?

- They're down by the stage.

Those fuckin' ghouls
are getting to them,

and they're getting to me too.

(ghouls grunting and growling)

(doors thudding)

- Hey, they stopped.

- What the fuck?

- I don't think we...

- Shh, somethings wrong.

- Maybe the dance committee
showed up after all, man,

and took care of
them (laughing).

(gun firing)
(Lenny grunts)

(hard rock music)

(gun firing)

(ghoul grunting and growling)

(hard rock music)

♪ Life's a deadly sin

♪ Life really has
been a dream to me ♪

(female ghoul
grunting and growling)

(Vicki screaming)

(Vicki grunting)

(ghoul grunting and growling)

- [Blade] Take this.

(hammer thuds)
(ghoul grunting)

(Crystal screaming)

♪ There's evil among us

♪ There's evil among us

♪ There's evil among us

♪ There's evil among us

- That's enough
you piece of shit.

(gun firing)

(ghoul grunting)

(hard rock music)

- [Blade] Steve,
what about that one?

- I guess I should kill it.

Probably deserves
better than him.

- You wanna stop that thing?

I mean, it's eating his brain.

- [Steve] He doesn't have one.

- It's the last one, so
kill it, get Crystal,

and let's get the
fuck outta here.

- Yeah, okay.

(ghoul grunting and growling)

(gun firing)

(light rock music)

- There's got to be
a way out of here.

(light rock music)

Thank you, God.

(light rock music)

(mysterious music)

(ghoul growling)

(gun firing)

(ghoul growling)

(gun firing)

(mysterious music)

- My God, the
whole fucking city.

(mysterious music)

Oh, Jesus, no!

(survivors screaming)

(guns firing)

(hard rock music)

♪ Life's a deadly sin

♪ Life really has
been true to me ♪

♪ Life is a bottomless
pit till now ♪

♪ You show me the way to go

♪ You show me the
way to go all alone ♪

♪ My way back to my home

♪ You've all seen
the evil among us ♪

♪ You've all seen
the evil among us ♪

♪ You've all seen
the evil among us ♪

♪ You've all seen
the evil among us ♪

♪ On my way home

♪ Life's a fragile color

♪ Life's a bottomless pit

♪ Life stays there
from another ♪

♪ Life's left me
all alone, alone ♪

♪ On my way back to my home

♪ They say life's among us

♪ They say that
evil's among us ♪

♪ There's evil among us

♪ There's evil among us

♪ On my way back home

♪ On my way back home

(hard rock music)

♪ I lay there in
my sleep at night ♪

♪ I wake up with
the devil fright ♪

♪ And I call your name

♪ But you're not there

♪ I call your name

♪ But your not there